This is from an outsider's perspective. It does not speak to the actual experience of autistic people. And criteria like these are precisely why women and girls go undiagnosed, because they are high maskers and better at the social aspects. That doesn't make their autism "milder"; it makes their lives more exhausting for having to mask all the time. Autism is MUCH more than this.
True, not trying to be sexist hear or whatever. But, I do thing woman tend to try to fit in, and socialize with others. I might not be autistic, but I feel as if it would be more exacerbated with Autism. By the way, I'm not autistic or have REALLY bonded with someone with autism, so I wouldn't know. Lastly, I hope didn't make autism geel like a disease, when it's not.
It is SO exhausting on every level. Many need a lot of 'alone time' just to recuperate and prepare anxiously for the next onslaught, then this need for solitude is often perceived as weird or unsocial etc.. sigh.
@@evas5187Tell him to go get tested. You can’t say you might have something without really knowing for sure. He might just have simple ADHD and need an excuse for his awkward behavior and gestures. He might just be really awkward, seeking attention or it could just be social anxiety.
I'm all too familiar with that "glassy eyed look" when I've been talking too much/oversharing. (A sure fire way to tell if someone is ASD is to play Risk. LOL. Guaranteed melt down!)
This is the issue with the current diagnostic system: I went my entire childhood (somehow) without being diagnosed and even today in a business setting I am commonly told that I don’t come across as autistic. This is because I’m too damn good at masking and, unfortunately, the diagnostic system commonly fails those autistic individuals who are very good at masking, often viewing them as neurotypical.
I also think it’s a dangerous precedent to set by a doctor coming out and saying you MUST meet all three of these requirements. Autism is a spectrum and this misinformation from what should be a trusted source is dangerous and can potentially stop undiagnosed autistic individuals from seeking a diagnosis due to not meeting the criteria that he mentions. And not to be pedantic, but I am autistic, I do not “have autism”.
I think if you are masking well enough people can’t even tell, then you have essentially faked it until you made it. You are high functioning enough that it is likely not negativity impacting your life enough a lot needs to be done about it. You were able to evolve and are functioning well enough through life, and of course we all have our struggles and quirks, even non autistic people.
@@rc_alba same and I like all the points you make btw very helpful for people that haven’t been diagnosed or just trying to understand autism in general ❤
Okay. I hate that he says "have to have all three". These are SIGNS, not CRITERIA. Autism so much more complicated than this, and most certainly not everyone struggles or lacks these abilities like he suggests. Personally, (have been diagnosed), facial expressions and tone of voice are actually things I do really well, though I do popbably exagerate them too much to make them easier for myself to understand. If you really had to have a criteria, sensory stuff would probably be a better indicator, but still, its just an indicator.
Right! It varies between people. Some people can have all these things but are just shy, or have social anxiety, depression, adhd etc.. the spectrum needs to be more accurate & concise because every single person has at least a couple of things that they swear up & down are traits of autism. They fail to recognise that autistic people have feelings too that people without autism have.
Autism in the medical community is still so understudied. There’s still so many biases against us because we aren’t cared enough about by society, so very few people care to try and understand us. I was almost not diagnosed with autism because I’m a “attractive” woman who has been in relationships, has friends, can carry a conversation (most of the time) and so forth. I’ve been dismissed and misdiagnosed my entire life, and still am, because most people are ignorant. Their idea of autism is a young, white boy who screams and flaps his hands constantly, when in reality it is such an individual experience. We are not our autism, we are still people with own our individual interests, traits, way of speaking, way of thinking…etc. There is a lot of work still that needs to be done to help autistic people and have more people accept us into society without stereotypical judgements or biases
Exactly, that's why it's called autism spectrum disorder. For me personally, I see it partially as a gift, to see the world from another perspective. Most people I know with autism are very smart, kind hearted individuals. They would do anything for their friends and family.
@@beckee6282the issue is wants many Hugh functioning are on the same diagnosis as those who are unable to speak don’t comprehend danger etc. It’s way to broad all thrown together
I'm like that too with the ADHD. I think the combo gives me very precise intuition but I often seem to lack the ability to hear or understand what it's trying to tell me, until after the fact.
I get along so well with this dude who said he has autism at work. Out of everybody in the whole work place, he’s the only one i get along really well with. I’m not diagnosed but i always thought i have autism
Your comment is just an opinion, I’m on the higher functioning end of the spectrum, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have challenges with social interaction. You see you could be mildly on the spectrum, but of course I feel like I face many challenges, and I don’t feel like I relate to neurotypical’s very much.
One thing that I’ve learned through working with people with autism, is that they prefer to be alone. And whenever I think I’m helping by encouraging them to be in a group! It’s actually causing more stress and anxiety to them!
That’s true for many. Others would like to have friends but aren’t sure how or sometimes they don’t like doing the kinds of things you have to do to have friends.
I find much solace in solitude. I'd like to be social and actually feel close to someone but it's all so f-ing difficult. I'm scared of everything and everyone! So I've given up and become a Crazy Cat Lady!
@@TheRealPsychologyWorksthis is so true! I enjoy being alone very much, but I do wish to make new friends. I just don't want to go somewhere I don't like to make them! I don't feel comfortable approaching new people, even it we are at a place of shared interest. However, that's pretty much the only time I will socialize, if I am somewhere that I know the people around me have a shared interest I can speak on. Otherwise I'm just super awkward bc who gaf about weather or politics? 😂 unless we are discussing meteorological patterns and the current trajectory of events, or how every political figure in recent history has been predetermined due to the fact that left and right don't matter anymore and blaming the president for the current state of affairs is useless because they have no real power anyway, what's happening around the world would be no matter if red or blue was in charge 😂 oops
I was diagnosed with autism when I was 31 because sadly the studies had done a bit done on men, and I’m now currently getting diagnosed with the ADHD as well as again. Apparently only men can have autism and ADHD until recently. Thank you so much Doctors of the past for screwing up my childhood, when I could’ve got the tools that I needed to fit into society and to also maximise what my strengths are.
I don't think I'm the one with the communication issue. I say exactly what I mean. It is not my fault that your brain scrambles the meaning of my words because it misinterprets my failure to emote as dishonesty. Wouldn't it make more sense to stop falling for fakeable indicators of honesty. We aren't all the same, maybe forcing us to pretend to understand the ever-changing rules of your pointless game isn't what's best for society. Maybe what's best for society is someone making your thought leaders justify their hatred of your neighbour.
True keeping friendships going, currently in summer I am thinking if I could call my friend or not because we are getting farther and farther away. I can’t really make friends unless if people come up to me or act like me. I have been diagnosed with autism and I can say this is literally all true
I remember in the 80's writing out conversational talking points before I'd call someone on the phone. Including segways into humor all in order to just prevent that blank silent space from happening on the phone. Now I have zero care or concern what non aut's think about me good or bad. I exist in peace and equanimity in all relative space and time no matter what ❤
I remember doing that when I’d call a girl. Or even writing out a whole monologue to prepare for a discussion with my girlfriend in high school (also in the’80s). So glad we’re past that now.
I tick off all three boxes. But I have worked really hard at learning to adapt. I’m now really good at picking up body language and tones. Most everything else is really hard for me. But I am impressive with adapting as far as communication is concerned, verbal and non. Plus my son is non verbal, so there is a lot of practice with him.
I can understand a person better when they are explaining something to me much better when im not looking at them...its like i can hear them more clearly and visually see what they are trying to say in my mind. It just makes more since when i stare off into space when people talk to me...
@@ricardomontaguewhen i look at something basic i can focus on their words when i look at them i get distracted and think about their physical appearance. it feels super awkward to look at someone while their talking or while i am. i found out i was diagnosed high functioning at age 7 due to nonverbal but i was very active / i built a lot of cool things . It all came out at once when it did (my words) i was 18 when i really found this out. i was diagnosed again at 22. i manage to maintain many friends barely due to just being full of facts and insults. but am very introverted. very focused on what i like to do. i brush my teeth like 4 times a day, i have a strict diet. i get overloaded quickly with sounds and lights and people. at my family gatherings i spend more time in the bathroom or in my car. it’s not always easy , i do to much for others. but eye contact is something i’ve always struggled with according to others. if they can’t imagine i am listening that’s their fault. ears don’t have eyes. i am currently watching this and watching a movie while cooking and cleaning in my home alone that i own i’m 23. i will never sit down unless i’m sleeping or driving. at night i pull over sometimes and just hold my head because of all the lights. i’ve had a few seizures. Cannabis has helped more than anything with everything. but i quit. i get made of by waiters in restaurants alone for asking them to be more quiet or turn down the music but i typically just get free desert after telling a manager. I am good looking and physically fit and it’s hard for most people to tell, i scored a 135 and i am very good at holding conversations depending on how hard i try, but it’s obvious to people when i tell them about my condition, i have it.
YEAS. I am a diagnosed, heavy masking adult female. I am very scilled masker, and on a good day, you really cannot tell. But when im tired or in sensory overload, the mask falls and then i might show these singns more. But really, this video is kinda false, it really depends.
Not me giving mixed signals to allistics through my expression, tone, and word combination and then my mom accusing me of being manipulative, deceitful, and abusive 💀
I had a late diagnosis at the ripe old age of 68…yay. Made sense of my entire life and now it’s my badge of honour. I live my life authenticity now and I’ve never been happier. The truth shall set you free… wahooo 🎉
Thank you I was kind of interested in see if I was autistic...but I am very extrovert and have literally none of the issues described here. Maybe I am just an asshole 😂
30%-80% of people with autism also have adhd, which causes them to be this way. I’m one of those people. The extroverted autistic. When the dopamine is satisfied, I have 0 desire to talk to others.
This video is so flawed and outdated, based on a lot of stereo typical misconceptions. Also its common to have a dual diagnosis of ADHD. Whilst you may have some of the introvert tendancies of some Autistic's, you may well crave the going out, meeting folk, new experiences etc. These can fuel the adrenalin that you use to replicate the dopamine. Its also worth noting that wether this applies to you or not, you may still be an asshole.
My most recent lover turning friend is on the spectrum and he has been the most loyal friend who has shown up for me through the back to back unexpected loss of two cats. I couldn't ask for someone more present. He may not be around me as much as my needy extroverted self needs, but he calls and checks in or texts and knows I like being held when I'm going through death and offers to come over and hold me through the night even as we phase out from lovers to friends. He is consistent with what he says he will do and doesn't forget to check in when these deaths happened and has cried along with me. I've learned so much just watching how much he has shown up for me when I am going through this unexpected loss and I want to always be that kind of friend to him as well.
Yeas they are but you do not have to have all of these to get the diagnosis, you are listing examples in where it can show. Im a diagnosed adult and i have very good conversation skills and i also pick up nonverbal messages very well, allthough sometimes i have difficulty in these areas also.
If you were diagnosed as a kid, it could mean you had the signs as a kid, but you "got better" as you grew up. I was diagnosed with Aspergers as a kid, but as I grew up, most of the symptoms went away or became milder. Most people i know think I'm a simply a normal person who just happens to be introverted and a bit awkward.
@@esh9x153 just a question from someone diagnosed with aspergers at 14 who constantly questions whether they have autism or not, would you still consider yourself autistic? I think I would but the way I can handle myself in social situations leads me to doubt I ever had autism in the first place.
Sorry, this video got cut off. Number 1 is all about different types of social aspects of autism spectrum disorder. Number 2 would be about repetitive or restricted patterns of behavior and interests, which is discussed in the longer video version of this.
Just to clear this up, you do not “have to have all 3” my brother who was diagnosed with higher functioning autism after 4 years of waiting is actually really good with facial expressions and tones of voices. And although he’s not brilliant and finding friends he can be good at keeping those who are good to him. He is very good at masking it. And I have been waiting years of my life to be tested being told that it’s harder to find in women so I should just give up and not get tested. I always struggle to stay focused in social situations and to be honest, my facial expressions may not always be good, but for me the struggle is finding something that I like that others are actually interested in listening to. I’ve always not been social at all which resulted in the people i know and made friends with usually being because of my one close friend introducing me to others. But that’s just my experience I guess.
There has been at least one study done (that I know of) affirming that there is more difficulty in communication between allistic-autistic groups, while autistic-autistic groups communicate similarly effectively as allistic-allistic groups
I have been diagnosed with autism and I don't generally have any issues with communication. It's rare that I don't pick up on social cues or find difficulty in approaching people. To me, autism isn't cut and dried in this way or clearly I wouldn't have been diagnosed. You talk about 3 areas of focus and mention communication and friendships. What is the third?
I wish someone would tell me these friendship rules. Like, they act like they want to be friends then when I ask if they want to meet and eat or have a drink they act shocked. Like, you were giving me the lets be friends vibe by telling me we should go out sometimes then act shocked when I ask when.......
Don't worry as introverts it's totally normal to have these qualities, I for example am really weird when meetng new people but am very jovial and ecstatic meeting with my old friends.
Yea same. Idk if I’m just an introvert with social anxiety disorder or if it’s autism cause I’m pretty awkward too, it’s just that I hold back often to not appear too different. I think I might just be an introvert too.
I hope one day the most updated information on autism will be more known by the Drs talking about it. Being measured by actions is a very poor indicator for whether someone has autism or not. For high functioning people, ask questions that tell you the processes of that persons mind. Im very good at social performance but its not through the same path as a neurotypical person. I purposely studied communication characteristics and memorized them. Obsession with a topic, retaining facts, pattern recognition. All autistic reasons I was able to reach a good enough communication ability rather than the neurotypical way of simply absorbing tactics used in their environment as a survival instinct. The brains of autistics work fundamentally differently from neurotypicals and though one of the main impacts is always going to be on social interaction, it isnt entirely uncommon for our ability to communicate to appear to not differ enough at first glace to warrant a deeper look. But if anyone had the sense to look deeper given the scientific fact that autism is an internal difference not an external one then they would find that something presenting as "normal" is a result of a completely not "normal" process attempting to mimic neurotypical behavoir and will never be quite the same. I can distract people from seeing how strange I am with information, over performing body language, facial expressions, understanding banter and jokes, but if I let go of consiously doing those things I instantly fall short of appearing normal. In fact if I am in an environment not conducive to intensly entertaining someone ie drs office, bank, meeting, it is clear that I am odd and I dont know how to fix it without all my entertainment distractions. But the ways that Im odd dont include not being able to read people or keep eye contact. Its something else that obviously I dont know otherwise Id fix it lol.
if you are a high masking individual (esp if you’re AFAB) you may experience these symptoms (and other signs of autism) on a more internalized level and may not even realize you’re masking. you may find yourself completely drained and burned out from simple small talk at work or regular conversations bc navigating those social interactions while trying to mask and follow proper social cues can be very exhausting and you may not even realize that you’ve been masking these issues for years. obviously anyone who thinks they may be struggling with these issues should consult with a professional, but if you watched this video and felt yourself despairing bc you don’t outwardly exhibit major signs of autism but feel that you struggle internally (or struggled A LOT when you were younger before you learned how to mask better) don’t lose all hope, you may just be a high masking individual w autism (speaking as a female who was recently diagnosed w autism in her 20s)
I have to add that often we care about deeper topics than your average person (or getting more in depth) so we find allistics boring and they find us boring. But, they are the majority so we are perceived as the weird and less than minority. Living on this planet as an Autist can be quite disabling too
The reason you avoid eye contact is not see body language you can't deal with. People are fake but don't want you to see it. They want you to take a hint but don't think bad of them. I am telling something. The other person is bored. I stop talking. The other person immediately asks, why did you stop talking? Or continue their monologue because it's okay for them to hoard all the attention. In friendship or even family you can walk away. But what do you do when your doctor or therapist looks bored out of their mind? Get another doctor you say. Really? You think your medical file is for you? Your medical file is their CYA.
From what I'm learning on YT, this information seems to be very outdated, especially for females. What are the other 2 things? Also, you only explained the first of your three things. This explains the external type, not necessarily the internal type.
My parents were sure I had autism growing up, now that I'm an adult I too believe I'm on the spectrum... We were never able to afford an assessment. I'm hoping in the near future I can take an evaluation to finally know more about this part of me
I’m autistic and I’m actually very expressive. Also, over the years of masking and observing how other people interact and socialize, I understand people’s gestures and tones pretty well.
I have autism and yes some of the points he said are common the way they are explained makes autistic people sound completely different from how they act
These are all true for me. I grew up with good parents, under good circumstances so i never really understood where my problem with social things comes from. It's the number one thing that creates problems for me. I'm not diagnosed but it crosses my mind that i have autism and at this point, i wish i had a diagnosis of autism because nothing else could explain why tf i struggle so much with "simple" things like that
Like literally I can't approach people in a normal manner. I come across either too indifferent or "too much" (the latter when I'm excited to talk to the person). I have zero interest in most people and what they talk about, and I don't know how to maintain friendships. What it's appropriate to suggest, what is not etc. And at this point, I can't even blame it on my lack of experience. I'm 22, in university, have met a bunch of new people, had a bunch of experiences i never thought I would have, and I'm still clueless
I am high functioning. After I turned 18 or so I started understanding a lot more about facial expressions and tones of voice. People have a hard time understanding my voice expressions tho. I’m always labeled as being sarcastic when really I’m being serious. I still have trouble talking fluent but that will probably last my lifetime.
as someone with autism, you're not correct Dr scott. I am a registered behavioral technician and an adult diagnosed clinically with aspergers when I was 11. I have since learned to mimic body language, hand gestures and tone (though its hit or miss and may appear awkward most of the time) I also have studied facial expressions and some sarcastic scripts and otherwise have been able to understand body language and facial expressions via logically and objectively looking for the requirements in their face rather than subjectively feeling it like neurotypical people do. I initiate conversation and enjoy talking. I have no issue with back and forth. Some of us have autism but have learned scripting and masking to be covert hence its not possible to always just look at someone and know if they have autism as an adult.
@@TheRealPsychologyWorks I would simply say there isn't one way to detect autism especially in adults. Our society has gone way too far diagnosing every single thing as autism so I understand the need to have good framework. As far as the continuing education thing goes, masking is one of the core components of adult autism. People used to think decades ago that people grow out of autism, but rather a lot of people simply learn what evokes the lesser reaction when in public or 1 on 1 conversation. Thank you for your response though!
Hello! I was diagnosed as autistic at a young age but I barely have any symptoms. I’m not monotone, I’m very expressive, chatty, not super sensitive to loud sounds, I understand social cues, I can make eye contact, I’m funny, and I’m very empathetic. Also I do NOT mask autism symptoms. Was I misdiagnosed? I need a second opinion?
I'm Autistic all this is all me, except I do have sensory issues. This video is an Allistic perspective of us and the criteria stopped me from seeking diagnosis for a long time as it doesn't accurately describe Autism
Hmm. Wentworth Miller, Anthony Hopkins and Daryl Hannah aren't autistic then? I worked with kids on the spectrum, both high functioning and then some with more complex needs......and NONE of this applies. Not everyone is the rain man, or some quiet savant ( male) who loves trains.
I think along with not recognizing certain cues, it's more like I recognize the cues somewhat after consciously observing.. but I also notice subtle throw offs.
I can do all these things by learning patterns and watching how people interact. The issue is when it goes off script or when I begin to feel comfortable around people. Inevitably, the mask slips, and I make terrible social blunders. I never know exactly what they are, but I can tell they have happened. No matter how hard I try, I struggle to understand why it is wrong on my own. Usually, people won't be honest and tell me. Or even more frequently, they will lie and say it was nothing... only to later find out it was EVERYTHING. It makes me so sad, because I really care about people. I try so hard to be conscientious, but I feel like neurotypical people are so quick to assign nefarious intentions to me. I give people the benefit of the doubt all the time. I never get offended or get angry or accuse anyone of intentions that I have no idea about yet I don't get that in return. Also, most of the reasons they say they are upset are confusing and seem to be emotional rather than based on facts. It feels like everyone knows this secret language, and I am doing my best to translate it, but no one will take the time to explain the context. :( It's so exhausting.
Losing people u thought where friends with no given explanation- but probably cos they thought you where rude because you didn’t understand all the social rules. Good that there’s lots of us autistic folk who can befriend each other and understand we’re not like them. Some may have learned pretty well to mask and fit in.. but we still miss stuff or over express social things. My dad taught me eye contact and greetings and hand shaking - then I went out and started like a crazy person and said hello how are you really over expressed and shook their hand like a man (cos my dad was a man and taught me his way) and I’d say that I was fantastic cos my dad was always such a positive person. Ahhh so so many other autistic sign memories do I have from my childhood, teens until now 😅😂
“Difficulties starting friendships, keeping friendships going”… Damn, that’s a big one for me. The whole thing about autism is it causes social difficulties, so I question why people who have a lot of friends/long term friends think they might be autistic.
I hate it when people say, when talking about autism, the words all, or none. It’s just a generalization, and unless people can understand that not all autistic people are the same, they will be treated even worse than normal.
Thank God I came across this video after a bunch of videos that made me think that autism is not real but a fancy name to people who just have a different perception of the society unlike and not inline with what's tagged "normal" or being introvert is something rebranded now. The whole spectrum thing made me think of being unique and diverse is what a human is but what the spectrum stands for autism is explained in this video and here by I can think of it as some mental strength which was somehow not unlocked and could be done later on with therapy.
Me paying every attention to conversation beats like it's verbal choreography. Add calculated eye contact, or the research papers I read when I was younger about how heart to hearts with women tend to involve eye to eye convos but with men tend to involve shoulder to shoulder convos. And how I incorporated that to every friendship. My fake laugh for all the jokes I don't get. And my .exe crashes when trying to console someone. I am awkward. But I think I'm overtly friendly, with very little judgment and abundance of curiosity. So I actually like to socialize and love the idea of hanging out with friends all the time. But I can only do this every now and again because dayum is it ever so stressful and tiring. Hence why I actually make a lot of friends but rarely get to keep them.. Luckily I've been diagnosed for years now so my true friends just accept me and understand that I'm trying. They give me my space but always keep me in the loop. I am that silent friend in a group chat that comments once every few weeks.
The problem with social communication is I spent 30 years observing how other people behaved and mimicked them. I can follow the social rules, without actually understanding them just through repetition and learning from mistakes.
@@TheRealPsychologyWorksbecause the people that develop the DSM aren’t neurodivergent or understand neurodivergent cognition, communication, relationships or anything else from a neurodivergent perspective. Mainstream society wants to cure us rather than give ongoing adjustments or supports so we can thrive because society sees higher needs as bad.
Definitely true. There is even a company that specifically hires individuals with autism because of certain abilities that are more common in people with autism.
Whats strange is that i was diagnosed with level 1 asd when i was younger. Im 18 now and have 0 traits of it, like no one can tell i have it. Im sick of being forced onto government related companies and getting a job + drivers lisence has been made much harder for me all over something that isnt even an issue for me. Basically asd has ruined my life and i have been very depressed for the last 6 months. I feel i have no purpose and any use for the world
@@kden7197sorry for the late reply but shit has gotten much better now. I’ve become a full time farmhand, got my license at last and gotten into acting/modelling and excelling at it!
If I'm diagnosed with Autism will it make my life better or worse? I feel that after getting diagnosed with ADHD my life got worse. I began blaming things on my ADHD instead of actually doing something about it. I'm medicated, but that seems to do nothing. I'm about the same as I ever have been except I can't get any of my chores done or find a job- not that I want one.
I hear that a lot. I'm not sure why so many people diagnosed with autism say that they don't evidence the symptoms that define the disorder in the DSM-5. Possibly in the next edition, they will describe the symptoms differently.
I can understand a person better when they are explaining something to me much better when im not looking at them...its like i can hear them more clearly and visually see what they are trying to say in my mind. It just makes more since when i stare off into space when people talk to me...
Nah bc i have like a mental notebook of what faces are necessary to display certain expressions so i dont confuse other ppl in conversation 💀 like i always actively make a happy face so the other person knows im happy, cause usually i dont make a whole lot of facial expressions subconsciously
My granddaughter is autistic I’ve raised her it’s hard she talks but doesn’t talk. It’s hard to make her understand. 22 at a 11to 12 year level. Imagine being that forever. She will never grow up in her mind.
Many psychologists don't specialize in diagnosing autism, but a psychologist in your area might be able point you or your daughter in the right direction if she is interested in getting a formal diagnosis.
I dont have autism, and I admit that I had at a young age. I want to prove a point to everyone that I can do everything by myself and not let all these traits tell me that I can't since I'm on the low "spectrum". But right now I'm getting my life together due to all of the traumatic times I had to deal with my family due to my disability. I just want to prove a point that one day I will be living by myself and doing things independently and not let anyone help me through my day to day life. Especially my over exaggerated family. I bet my own family never wanted me around because of me being different from everyone.
I am actually really good at social cues when it comes to facial expression and tone of voice, most of my issues are making and keeping friends and sensory issues
Does it count if I learned to act out facial expressions consciously? I initially learned it to stop getting blamed for what I didn't do, But now do it so people know how I feel, It isn't perfect, However... Does it count?
Just to add: It may not nessisarily be difficulty with social interactions; It can be a diffrent communication pattern and not eveyone whom is diagonsed with ASD struggle with social interactions while some do, as ots a spectrum. And we can understand friendahip, i get its a wording choice, but it comes off as 'All autisitc people cant understand friendship or social cues." (I cpuld be phrased like "A lot of Autisitic people have deficits in understanding certain social cues, and this can fluctuate within a person aswell). When you meet one autistic person, Youve met one autistic person. (Oh, and we do care about iniciaiting interactions, we just often are to anixois) I also wpuld like to point out that a lot of autistic pople have truma, and therefore the truma can also influence social interactions and friend ships.
As someone who wasn't diagnosed with "Asperger's" until their late 30s all of my past relationships failed until I married my second husband, who is also high functioning (savant with a high IQ). His is more noticable while I've been able to find coping skills to mask mine. Yet,we somehow balance each other out. Is this common, or do individuals on the spectrum usually end up with neurotypical individuals?
I'm not sure of the actual statistics, but in my practice, it does seem that people with autistic tendencies maintain relationships with others with autistic tendencies. I think they have different expectations of each other that work, compared to the expectations of neurotypical individuals.
Oh... I actually do experience these 3 things. I've never been diagnosed with autism, and I've been wanting to check if I do because people always end up asking if I am. I always thought they were crazy for even asking. The more people asked, the more I dug into my past and thought about it. yeah, those 3 descriptions very accurately depict my experience with the social world thus far in my lifetime. Ive always struggled with socializing. People confuse me with their facial expressions, especially when they just stand there looking me in the eyes while not saying anything. I hate sustained eye contact too, it really bothers me. How am I supposed to respond to all that? Sometimes a bit later they ask how I am doing, but I know from experience that question is either just a greeting or a way to ask you a different question, it's not a genuine question. I feel like im always being lied to, and I feel like im always expected to give false information and take the initiative on what THEY want me to say without even telling me what that thing is. Im walking on landmines over here, people been getting mad at me and have become a lot more distant. To the point where some people are talking funny to me and testing my reactions 😂
Even if you are shy, you'd still be able to communicate, conversate, and make connections, it's just your own reservations holding you back. You can outgrow shyness. Autistic people's brains seem to be wired where they cannot do any of these because the way their brain is wired makes them unable to communicate, conversate, or make connections.
Autistic people don't understand "normal" people, so their brain over thinks about everything and as a kid they adapted to copying normal people, bcuz they are afraid of being judged if they stimm in public.You don't have to believe me, but I know I'm right.
As an autistic person, I wouldnt say its a lack of interest but rather an inability to initiate instead because most of the other autistic people I know including myself express a desire and interest in connecting and being friends with others despite having difficulties. Autistic people can also be over expressive and extroverted as well but we still struggle socially. we are a very diverse community and autism can present differently based on a ton of things. This sounds like a very stereotypical explanation of what autistism is but not in a bad way its just respenting one way it been typically known to present. Im not disagreeing im just adding information that is not talked about enough when talking about autism. this disorder is much more complicated than just having social problems. It has a looot to do with sensory overload issues as well. The fact I am overally expressive and extroverted is one of the reasons my autism was missed until adulthood. They also didnt think adhd and autism where comorbid in the 90s early 2000s, when in reality roughly 60% of us have both, and autism will also present differently when someone also has adhd.
Excellent comment. Volumes of literature whittled down to one minute is extremely lacking. Plus RUclips cut off a bunch to make it into a short. Sorry.
Oh u just made My day lmao. I could literally kiss ur feet mate😂😂😂. My son has suffered prolonged trauma through bullying mental and physical. But trying to say he's autistic. U will never know how much uv made my year with this post ❤❤ scream it from the roof tops big man. We need you in Coventry. And actually educate these Muppet what autism actually is love you so much it hurts❤❤
He's recovering from trauma 14 years old but they're trying to diagnose him with autism give him a teddy bear and cuddle Time on the rug. Kids suffering from unresolved trauma but I know let's hit his masculinity a little more and patronise him to the point of exploding then tell him he's being uncomplaint. I could listen to u all day lmao ❤❤
me realizing I'm autistic not sigma giga Chad Patrick bateman Ryan gosling
Thanks for the comment.
@@TheRealPsychologyWorksthanks for the dry response.
Relatable
@@sigma_borat7157 Real
When people think I’m autistic and gay instead of cool and mysterious 😔
I'm masking so much that nobody believes I'm autistic
Same.
Same dude!!
I finally got diagnosed and I have friends and family member that don’t believe me or go “you’re not REALLY autistic” 😒 frustrating asf
I act out my own emotions by habit, It's conscience, But I forget not to.
Unmasking is so relieving, even if it's only a little bit. Try it some time.
This is from an outsider's perspective. It does not speak to the actual experience of autistic people. And criteria like these are precisely why women and girls go undiagnosed, because they are high maskers and better at the social aspects. That doesn't make their autism "milder"; it makes their lives more exhausting for having to mask all the time. Autism is MUCH more than this.
This is a good point. More research is being done all the time. Figuring it out is definitely an ongoing process. Thank you for pointing this out.
True, not trying to be sexist hear or whatever. But, I do thing woman tend to try to fit in, and socialize with others. I might not be autistic, but I feel as if it would be more exacerbated with Autism. By the way, I'm not autistic or have REALLY bonded with someone with autism, so I wouldn't know. Lastly, I hope didn't make autism geel like a disease, when it's not.
@@TheRealPsychologyWorksagreed
It is SO exhausting on every level. Many need a lot of 'alone time' just to recuperate and prepare anxiously for the next onslaught, then this need for solitude is often perceived as weird or unsocial etc.. sigh.
That's why I don't really relate 😮
Keeping a conversation that interests my peers is where i struggle.
@@evas5187Tell him to go get tested. You can’t say you might have something without really knowing for sure. He might just have simple ADHD and need an excuse for his awkward behavior and gestures. He might just be really awkward, seeking attention or it could just be social anxiety.
That doesn't mean you're autistic 😂 Jesus...
Mu trick for conversation lull is to get the other person to talk about themselves
@@fullyfb3847you don't know dude. they phrased it as one of many things they struggle with, not just the only one
I'm all too familiar with that "glassy eyed look" when I've been talking too much/oversharing. (A sure fire way to tell if someone is ASD is to play Risk. LOL. Guaranteed melt down!)
This is the issue with the current diagnostic system: I went my entire childhood (somehow) without being diagnosed and even today in a business setting I am commonly told that I don’t come across as autistic. This is because I’m too damn good at masking and, unfortunately, the diagnostic system commonly fails those autistic individuals who are very good at masking, often viewing them as neurotypical.
I also think it’s a dangerous precedent to set by a doctor coming out and saying you MUST meet all three of these requirements. Autism is a spectrum and this misinformation from what should be a trusted source is dangerous and can potentially stop undiagnosed autistic individuals from seeking a diagnosis due to not meeting the criteria that he mentions. And not to be pedantic, but I am autistic, I do not “have autism”.
I think if you are masking well enough people can’t even tell, then you have essentially faked it until you made it. You are high functioning enough that it is likely not negativity impacting your life enough a lot needs to be done about it. You were able to evolve and are functioning well enough through life, and of course we all have our struggles and quirks, even non autistic people.
@@rc_alba same and I like all the points you make btw very helpful for people that haven’t been diagnosed or just trying to understand autism in general ❤
Okay. I hate that he says "have to have all three". These are SIGNS, not CRITERIA. Autism so much more complicated than this, and most certainly not everyone struggles or lacks these abilities like he suggests. Personally, (have been diagnosed), facial expressions and tone of voice are actually things I do really well, though I do popbably exagerate them too much to make them easier for myself to understand. If you really had to have a criteria, sensory stuff would probably be a better indicator, but still, its just an indicator.
Right! It varies between people. Some people can have all these things but are just shy, or have social anxiety, depression, adhd etc.. the spectrum needs to be more accurate & concise because every single person has at least a couple of things that they swear up & down are traits of autism. They fail to recognise that autistic people have feelings too that people without autism have.
Autism in the medical community is still so understudied. There’s still so many biases against us because we aren’t cared enough about by society, so very few people care to try and understand us. I was almost not diagnosed with autism because I’m a “attractive” woman who has been in relationships, has friends, can carry a conversation (most of the time) and so forth. I’ve been dismissed and misdiagnosed my entire life, and still am, because most people are ignorant. Their idea of autism is a young, white boy who screams and flaps his hands constantly, when in reality it is such an individual experience. We are not our autism, we are still people with own our individual interests, traits, way of speaking, way of thinking…etc. There is a lot of work still that needs to be done to help autistic people and have more people accept us into society without stereotypical judgements or biases
Exactly, that's why it's called autism spectrum disorder.
For me personally, I see it partially as a gift, to see the world from another perspective.
Most people I know with autism are very smart, kind hearted individuals. They would do anything for their friends and family.
@@XxElJefe go back 10 years and autism was demanded to be broad like this and all of us saying it needs to stop being this broad were attacked
@@beckee6282the issue is wants many Hugh functioning are on the same diagnosis as those who are unable to speak don’t comprehend danger etc. It’s way to broad all thrown together
True for me, but I also have ADHD and I think this combo gives me a very keen eye on reading people, I absorb their energy.
🙄 love your victim labels, huh?
@@insertmyidentityhere victim labels? Because of my disability 😂 wow
@@insertmyidentityhere You should like a good ol Christian woman. 😂
I'm like that too with the ADHD. I think the combo gives me very precise intuition but I often seem to lack the ability to hear or understand what it's trying to tell me, until after the fact.
@@insertmyidentityhereyou sound charming. Maybe you should learn some empathy and manners
Remember, this is neurotypicals seeing autistic behaviors. Autistic friends tend to get together and understand each other easily.
I see now why I’ve become best friends with the dnd loving autistic kid and my school now..
I'm neurotypical but my bestfriend has autism lol
I get along so well with this dude who said he has autism at work. Out of everybody in the whole work place, he’s the only one i get along really well with. I’m not diagnosed but i always thought i have autism
Yes exactly the double empathy theory!!! idk if they've done more research on it but this is so important!!!!
Your comment is just an opinion, I’m on the higher functioning end of the spectrum, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have challenges with social interaction. You see you could be mildly on the spectrum, but of course I feel like I face many challenges, and I don’t feel like I relate to neurotypical’s very much.
One thing that I’ve learned through working with people with autism, is that they prefer to be alone. And whenever I think I’m helping by encouraging them to be in a group! It’s actually causing more stress and anxiety to them!
That’s true for many. Others would like to have friends but aren’t sure how or sometimes they don’t like doing the kinds of things you have to do to have friends.
I find much solace in solitude. I'd like to be social and actually feel close to someone but it's all so f-ing difficult. I'm scared of everything and everyone! So I've given up and become a Crazy Cat Lady!
As an autistic person, can confirm. Let me do my thing, you can do yours, everyone’s happy lol
people put a limit on ya
@@TheRealPsychologyWorksthis is so true! I enjoy being alone very much, but I do wish to make new friends. I just don't want to go somewhere I don't like to make them! I don't feel comfortable approaching new people, even it we are at a place of shared interest. However, that's pretty much the only time I will socialize, if I am somewhere that I know the people around me have a shared interest I can speak on. Otherwise I'm just super awkward bc who gaf about weather or politics? 😂 unless we are discussing meteorological patterns and the current trajectory of events, or how every political figure in recent history has been predetermined due to the fact that left and right don't matter anymore and blaming the president for the current state of affairs is useless because they have no real power anyway, what's happening around the world would be no matter if red or blue was in charge 😂 oops
And this is why so many people go undiagnosed 🤦🏻♀️
I was diagnosed with autism when I was 31 because sadly the studies had done a bit done on men, and I’m now currently getting diagnosed with the ADHD as well as again. Apparently only men can have autism and ADHD until recently. Thank you so much Doctors of the past for screwing up my childhood, when I could’ve got the tools that I needed to fit into society and to also maximise what my strengths are.
I don't think I'm the one with the communication issue. I say exactly what I mean. It is not my fault that your brain scrambles the meaning of my words because it misinterprets my failure to emote as dishonesty. Wouldn't it make more sense to stop falling for fakeable indicators of honesty. We aren't all the same, maybe forcing us to pretend to understand the ever-changing rules of your pointless game isn't what's best for society. Maybe what's best for society is someone making your thought leaders justify their hatred of your neighbour.
Oh yes.. so many people think I'm a liar when I'm incapable of deceit, for the reasons you say! The fault is theirs, not ours. Liars expect lies.
True keeping friendships going, currently in summer I am thinking if I could call my friend or not because we are getting farther and farther away. I can’t really make friends unless if people come up to me or act like me.
I have been diagnosed with autism and I can say this is literally all true
Omg! Same!
Same here
I remember in the 80's writing out conversational talking points before I'd call someone on the phone. Including segways into humor all in order to just prevent that blank silent space from happening on the phone. Now I have zero care or concern what non aut's think about me good or bad. I exist in peace and equanimity in all relative space and time no matter what ❤
I remember doing that when I’d call a girl. Or even writing out a whole monologue to prepare for a discussion with my girlfriend in high school (also in the’80s). So glad we’re past that now.
I tick off all three boxes. But I have worked really hard at learning to adapt. I’m now really good at picking up body language and tones. Most everything else is really hard for me. But I am impressive with adapting as far as communication is concerned, verbal and non. Plus my son is non verbal, so there is a lot of practice with him.
Keep it up.
I can understand a person better when they are explaining something to me much better when im not looking at them...its like i can hear them more clearly and visually see what they are trying to say in my mind. It just makes more since when i stare off into space when people talk to me...
@@ricardomontaguewhen i look at something basic i can focus on their words when i look at them i get distracted and think about their physical appearance. it feels super awkward to look at someone while their talking or while i am. i found out i was diagnosed high functioning at age 7 due to nonverbal but i was very active / i built a lot of cool things . It all came out at once when it did (my words) i was 18 when i really found this out. i was diagnosed again at 22. i manage to maintain many friends barely due to just being full of facts and insults. but am very introverted. very focused on what i like to do. i brush my teeth like 4 times a day, i have a strict diet. i get overloaded quickly with sounds and lights and people. at my family gatherings i spend more time in the bathroom or in my car. it’s not always easy , i do to much for others. but eye contact is something i’ve always struggled with according to others. if they can’t imagine i am listening that’s their fault. ears don’t have eyes. i am currently watching this and watching a movie while cooking and cleaning in my home alone that i own i’m 23. i will never sit down unless i’m sleeping or driving. at night i pull over sometimes and just hold my head because of all the lights. i’ve had a few seizures. Cannabis has helped more than anything with everything. but i quit. i get made of by waiters in restaurants alone for asking them to be more quiet or turn down the music but i typically just get free desert after telling a manager. I am good looking and physically fit and it’s hard for most people to tell, i scored a 135 and i am very good at holding conversations depending on how hard i try, but it’s obvious to people when i tell them about my condition, i have it.
Could masking affect not doing these things?
Yes if you’re a heavy masker definitely effects that people often forget some of us can mask😢
"I'm not a man of too many faces.
The mask I wear is one."
YEAS. I am a diagnosed, heavy masking adult female. I am very scilled masker, and on a good day, you really cannot tell. But when im tired or in sensory overload, the mask falls and then i might show these singns more.
But really, this video is kinda false, it really depends.
Yes, highmasking people learn to read faces, also we can have too much empathy, so...
I agree with you 100% @@mina.458
Tell me you're an allistic person without telling me you're allistic.
Not me giving mixed signals to allistics through my expression, tone, and word combination and then my mom accusing me of being manipulative, deceitful, and abusive 💀
Sounds like she's projecting dude
I had a late diagnosis at the ripe old age of 68…yay. Made sense of my entire life and now it’s my badge of honour. I live my life authenticity now and I’ve never been happier. The truth shall set you free… wahooo 🎉
I love this for you. I am 44 and just got diagnosed.
Thank you I was kind of interested in see if I was autistic...but I am very extrovert and have literally none of the issues described here. Maybe I am just an asshole 😂
You ain’t alone 😂
30%-80% of people with autism also have adhd, which causes them to be this way. I’m one of those people. The extroverted autistic. When the dopamine is satisfied, I have 0 desire to talk to others.
Autistic people can be extraverted.
I'm an introvert so only have a couple of these probably means I don't have autism but I'm trying to learn😅
This video is so flawed and outdated, based on a lot of stereo typical misconceptions. Also its common to have a dual diagnosis of ADHD.
Whilst you may have some of the introvert tendancies of some Autistic's, you may well crave the going out, meeting folk, new experiences etc. These can fuel the adrenalin that you use to replicate the dopamine. Its also worth noting that wether this applies to you or not, you may still be an asshole.
My most recent lover turning friend is on the spectrum and he has been the most loyal friend who has shown up for me through the back to back unexpected loss of two cats. I couldn't ask for someone more present. He may not be around me as much as my needy extroverted self needs, but he calls and checks in or texts and knows I like being held when I'm going through death and offers to come over and hold me through the night even as we phase out from lovers to friends. He is consistent with what he says he will do and doesn't forget to check in when these deaths happened and has cried along with me. I've learned so much just watching how much he has shown up for me when I am going through this unexpected loss and I want to always be that kind of friend to him as well.
Everyone should have a friend like that. Thanks for sharing this story!
This is my life
How lucky are you to be alive? ☘️❤️☘️
I feel like i can feel energy also...its like realy weird
Wow… 😢 this.. kind of hurts because that does sound like me…
So a lot of us probably act awkward and aren’t actually autistic
Being awkward is completely different from what he is talking about
I’ve been diagnosed with autism by a doctor but I don’t have any of the following, maybe I’m just a weird ass guy 💀
These are the criteria listed in the DSM-5, which defines autism.
Yeas they are but you do not have to have all of these to get the diagnosis, you are listing examples in where it can show. Im a diagnosed adult and i have very good conversation skills and i also pick up nonverbal messages very well, allthough sometimes i have difficulty in these areas also.
Me too
If you were diagnosed as a kid, it could mean you had the signs as a kid, but you "got better" as you grew up. I was diagnosed with Aspergers as a kid, but as I grew up, most of the symptoms went away or became milder. Most people i know think I'm a simply a normal person who just happens to be introverted and a bit awkward.
@@esh9x153 just a question from someone diagnosed with aspergers at 14 who constantly questions whether they have autism or not, would you still consider yourself autistic? I think I would but the way I can handle myself in social situations leads me to doubt I ever had autism in the first place.
You said 1 but you did not say 2 or 3? That made it confusing. Which one is two which one is 3?
Sorry, this video got cut off. Number 1 is all about different types of social aspects of autism spectrum disorder. Number 2 would be about repetitive or restricted patterns of behavior and interests, which is discussed in the longer video version of this.
@@dr.scottgreenaway5982 Where is the longer discussion and what is number3?
Just to clear this up, you do not “have to have all 3” my brother who was diagnosed with higher functioning autism after 4 years of waiting is actually really good with facial expressions and tones of voices. And although he’s not brilliant and finding friends he can be good at keeping those who are good to him. He is very good at masking it. And I have been waiting years of my life to be tested being told that it’s harder to find in women so I should just give up and not get tested. I always struggle to stay focused in social situations and to be honest, my facial expressions may not always be good, but for me the struggle is finding something that I like that others are actually interested in listening to. I’ve always not been social at all which resulted in the people i know and made friends with usually being because of my one close friend introducing me to others.
But that’s just my experience I guess.
There has been at least one study done (that I know of) affirming that there is more difficulty in communication between allistic-autistic groups, while autistic-autistic groups communicate similarly effectively as allistic-allistic groups
Inaccurate.
I have been diagnosed with autism and I don't generally have any issues with communication. It's rare that I don't pick up on social cues or find difficulty in approaching people. To me, autism isn't cut and dried in this way or clearly I wouldn't have been diagnosed.
You talk about 3 areas of focus and mention communication and friendships. What is the third?
I struggle having back and forth conversation when I don’t know too much about the topic
I wish someone would tell me these friendship rules. Like, they act like they want to be friends then when I ask if they want to meet and eat or have a drink they act shocked. Like, you were giving me the lets be friends vibe by telling me we should go out sometimes then act shocked when I ask when.......
Sounds frustrating.
@@TheRealPsychologyWorks it does, but it really makes me wonder what's wrong with them. I know im weird, and that's normal.
Sounds like me but I’ve always told people I’m an introvert.
Don't worry as introverts it's totally normal to have these qualities, I for example am really weird when meetng new people but am very jovial and ecstatic meeting with my old friends.
Yea same. Idk if I’m just an introvert with social anxiety disorder or if it’s autism cause I’m pretty awkward too, it’s just that I hold back often to not appear too different. I think I might just be an introvert too.
@@SuperKvlogs same ! did you get any answer ?
@@naya6119 It was more spiritual than anything. I was freed by God from the fear of people.
I hope one day the most updated information on autism will be more known by the Drs talking about it. Being measured by actions is a very poor indicator for whether someone has autism or not. For high functioning people, ask questions that tell you the processes of that persons mind. Im very good at social performance but its not through the same path as a neurotypical person. I purposely studied communication characteristics and memorized them. Obsession with a topic, retaining facts, pattern recognition. All autistic reasons I was able to reach a good enough communication ability rather than the neurotypical way of simply absorbing tactics used in their environment as a survival instinct. The brains of autistics work fundamentally differently from neurotypicals and though one of the main impacts is always going to be on social interaction, it isnt entirely uncommon for our ability to communicate to appear to not differ enough at first glace to warrant a deeper look. But if anyone had the sense to look deeper given the scientific fact that autism is an internal difference not an external one then they would find that something presenting as "normal" is a result of a completely not "normal" process attempting to mimic neurotypical behavoir and will never be quite the same. I can distract people from seeing how strange I am with information, over performing body language, facial expressions, understanding banter and jokes, but if I let go of consiously doing those things I instantly fall short of appearing normal. In fact if I am in an environment not conducive to intensly entertaining someone ie drs office, bank, meeting, it is clear that I am odd and I dont know how to fix it without all my entertainment distractions. But the ways that Im odd dont include not being able to read people or keep eye contact. Its something else that obviously I dont know otherwise Id fix it lol.
My boyfriend is on the spectrum, and he's the most amazing man I've ever met ❤️
That's great to hear.
if you are a high masking individual (esp if you’re AFAB) you may experience these symptoms (and other signs of autism) on a more internalized level and may not even realize you’re masking. you may find yourself completely drained and burned out from simple small talk at work or regular conversations bc navigating those social interactions while trying to mask and follow proper social cues can be very exhausting and you may not even realize that you’ve been masking these issues for years. obviously anyone who thinks they may be struggling with these issues should consult with a professional, but if you watched this video and felt yourself despairing bc you don’t outwardly exhibit major signs of autism but feel that you struggle internally (or struggled A LOT when you were younger before you learned how to mask better) don’t lose all hope, you may just be a high masking individual w autism (speaking as a female who was recently diagnosed w autism in her 20s)
I relate to all of these
Don’t worry me to
Me too
Me: relates to a few videos. *2 months and probably 450 cumulative hours of very nuanced research later* I need to see a doctor
I have to add that often we care about deeper topics than your average person (or getting more in depth) so we find allistics boring and they find us boring. But, they are the majority so we are perceived as the weird and less than minority. Living on this planet as an Autist can be quite disabling too
Don’t forget we can learn social stuff though! Some of us understand social psychological phenomena a lot better than normal people as well.
The reason you avoid eye contact is not see body language you can't deal with.
People are fake but don't want you to see it.
They want you to take a hint but don't think bad of them.
I am telling something. The other person is bored. I stop talking. The other person immediately asks, why did you stop talking? Or continue their monologue because it's okay for them to hoard all the attention.
In friendship or even family you can walk away. But what do you do when your doctor or therapist looks bored out of their mind?
Get another doctor you say. Really? You think your medical file is for you? Your medical file is their CYA.
From what I'm learning on YT, this information seems to be very outdated, especially for females. What are the other 2 things? Also, you only explained the first of your three things. This explains the external type, not necessarily the internal type.
Exactly
My parents were sure I had autism growing up, now that I'm an adult I too believe I'm on the spectrum... We were never able to afford an assessment. I'm hoping in the near future I can take an evaluation to finally know more about this part of me
I’m autistic and I’m actually very expressive. Also, over the years of masking and observing how other people interact and socialize, I understand people’s gestures and tones pretty well.
Thank god I'm not autistic. Now, time to play with my toy cars.
(Edit: This is just an ironic joke. I'm not actually autistic ;). )
I have autism and yes some of the points he said are common the way they are explained makes autistic people sound completely different from how they act
These are all true for me. I grew up with good parents, under good circumstances so i never really understood where my problem with social things comes from. It's the number one thing that creates problems for me. I'm not diagnosed but it crosses my mind that i have autism and at this point, i wish i had a diagnosis of autism because nothing else could explain why tf i struggle so much with "simple" things like that
Like literally I can't approach people in a normal manner. I come across either too indifferent or "too much" (the latter when I'm excited to talk to the person). I have zero interest in most people and what they talk about, and I don't know how to maintain friendships. What it's appropriate to suggest, what is not etc. And at this point, I can't even blame it on my lack of experience. I'm 22, in university, have met a bunch of new people, had a bunch of experiences i never thought I would have, and I'm still clueless
I am high functioning. After I turned 18 or so I started understanding a lot more about facial expressions and tones of voice. People have a hard time understanding my voice expressions tho. I’m always labeled as being sarcastic when really I’m being serious. I still have trouble talking fluent but that will probably last my lifetime.
as someone with autism, you're not correct Dr scott. I am a registered behavioral technician and an adult diagnosed clinically with aspergers when I was 11.
I have since learned to mimic body language, hand gestures and tone (though its hit or miss and may appear awkward most of the time) I also have studied facial expressions and some sarcastic scripts and otherwise have been able to understand body language and facial expressions via logically and objectively looking for the requirements in their face rather than subjectively feeling it like neurotypical people do.
I initiate conversation and enjoy talking. I have no issue with back and forth. Some of us have autism but have learned scripting and masking to be covert hence its not possible to always just look at someone and know if they have autism as an adult.
Thank you for explaining this. I guess the problem with a short video is that all the nuances, discrepancies, and subtleties aren't discussed enough.
@@TheRealPsychologyWorks I would simply say there isn't one way to detect autism especially in adults. Our society has gone way too far diagnosing every single thing as autism so I understand the need to have good framework. As far as the continuing education thing goes, masking is one of the core components of adult autism. People used to think decades ago that people grow out of autism, but rather a lot of people simply learn what evokes the lesser reaction when in public or 1 on 1 conversation. Thank you for your response though!
I have none of those but I still panic..
Hello! I was diagnosed as autistic at a young age but I barely have any symptoms. I’m not monotone, I’m very expressive, chatty, not super sensitive to loud sounds, I understand social cues, I can make eye contact, I’m funny, and I’m very empathetic. Also I do NOT mask autism symptoms. Was I misdiagnosed? I need a second opinion?
I think a second opinion could be helpful.
I'm Autistic all this is all me, except I do have sensory issues. This video is an Allistic perspective of us and the criteria stopped me from seeking diagnosis for a long time as it doesn't accurately describe Autism
You always make time to reply,and heart comments in your videos. Most people don't do that. Not on your level.
You good bro.
i cant believe i got adhd autism and proly schizoprhenia
If you think you have schizophrenia, you should see a psychiatrist as soon as you can!
I use hand movement when trying to explain something in a conversation.
That's a good sign.
SO I DONT HAVE AUTISM?!
Hmm. Wentworth Miller, Anthony Hopkins and Daryl Hannah aren't autistic then?
I worked with kids on the spectrum, both high functioning and then some with more complex needs......and NONE of this applies. Not everyone is the rain man, or some quiet savant ( male) who loves trains.
No it means the expert is wrong@@memeoftheday6425
I think along with not recognizing certain cues, it's more like I recognize the cues somewhat after consciously observing.. but I also notice subtle throw offs.
I can do all these things by learning patterns and watching how people interact. The issue is when it goes off script or when I begin to feel comfortable around people. Inevitably, the mask slips, and I make terrible social blunders. I never know exactly what they are, but I can tell they have happened. No matter how hard I try, I struggle to understand why it is wrong on my own. Usually, people won't be honest and tell me. Or even more frequently, they will lie and say it was nothing... only to later find out it was EVERYTHING. It makes me so sad, because I really care about people. I try so hard to be conscientious, but I feel like neurotypical people are so quick to assign nefarious intentions to me. I give people the benefit of the doubt all the time. I never get offended or get angry or accuse anyone of intentions that I have no idea about yet I don't get that in return. Also, most of the reasons they say they are upset are confusing and seem to be emotional rather than based on facts. It feels like everyone knows this secret language, and I am doing my best to translate it, but no one will take the time to explain the context. :( It's so exhausting.
That is what makes it hard. Hopefully you'll find some people, where it won't matter as much.
My face is very blank the majority of the time. I never knew it mattered so much
I over-exaggerate my facial expressions. And I recently learned this is a masking thing!
Losing people u thought where friends with no given explanation- but probably cos they thought you where rude because you didn’t understand all the social rules. Good that there’s lots of us autistic folk who can befriend each other and understand we’re not like them. Some may have learned pretty well to mask and fit in.. but we still miss stuff or over express social things.
My dad taught me eye contact and greetings and hand shaking - then I went out and started like a crazy person and said hello how are you really over expressed and shook their hand like a man (cos my dad was a man and taught me his way) and I’d say that I was fantastic cos my dad was always such a positive person. Ahhh so so many other autistic sign memories do I have from my childhood, teens until now 😅😂
Hmm. I don’t know, this is more like a list of the ways that autistics annoy neurotypicals than a deep description
You sure youre updated in the latest autism criteria because i heard differently.
It's from the DSM-5, which came out in 2013. I'll do some investigating. Thank you.
I just rewatched the video. It's actually 60 seconds of a longer video. The full video is more informative.
as an actually autistic….it sucks
“Difficulties starting friendships, keeping friendships going”… Damn, that’s a big one for me.
The whole thing about autism is it causes social difficulties, so I question why people who have a lot of friends/long term friends think they might be autistic.
"Dont self diagnose"
"Dont self diagnose"
"Dont self diagnose"
I hate it when people say, when talking about autism, the words all, or none. It’s just a generalization, and unless people can understand that not all autistic people are the same, they will be treated even worse than normal.
Isn't this just most ppl.....
No, the CDC calculates that only about 1% of the population meets this criteria.
Nah this is close to retardation
Thank God I came across this video after a bunch of videos that made me think that autism is not real but a fancy name to people who just have a different perception of the society unlike and not inline with what's tagged "normal" or being introvert is something rebranded now. The whole spectrum thing made me think of being unique and diverse is what a human is but what the spectrum stands for autism is explained in this video and here by I can think of it as some mental strength which was somehow not unlocked and could be done later on with therapy.
Me paying every attention to conversation beats like it's verbal choreography. Add calculated eye contact, or the research papers I read when I was younger about how heart to hearts with women tend to involve eye to eye convos but with men tend to involve shoulder to shoulder convos. And how I incorporated that to every friendship. My fake laugh for all the jokes I don't get. And my .exe crashes when trying to console someone.
I am awkward. But I think I'm overtly friendly, with very little judgment and abundance of curiosity. So I actually like to socialize and love the idea of hanging out with friends all the time. But I can only do this every now and again because dayum is it ever so stressful and tiring. Hence why I actually make a lot of friends but rarely get to keep them..
Luckily I've been diagnosed for years now so my true friends just accept me and understand that I'm trying. They give me my space but always keep me in the loop. I am that silent friend in a group chat that comments once every few weeks.
The problem with social communication is I spent 30 years observing how other people behaved and mimicked them. I can follow the social rules, without actually understanding them just through repetition and learning from mistakes.
Only one of these apply to me. I am diagnosed with autism
I find that a lot of people have made similar comments. I’m not sure why the real life diagnoses don’t line up with what the diagnostic manual says.
No one’s autism is he same, there are different types and stuff @@TheRealPsychologyWorks
@@TheRealPsychologyWorksbecause the people that develop the DSM aren’t neurodivergent or understand neurodivergent cognition, communication, relationships or anything else from a neurodivergent perspective.
Mainstream society wants to cure us rather than give ongoing adjustments or supports so we can thrive because society sees higher needs as bad.
Also they are incredibly gifted people having autism is learning with a difference
Definitely true. There is even a company that specifically hires individuals with autism because of certain abilities that are more common in people with autism.
I almost pick up on cues to much and overthink them. I th8nk that might be down to me wanting to get it right and trying my hardest to got it right.
I can understand that.
Whats strange is that i was diagnosed with level 1 asd when i was younger. Im 18 now and have 0 traits of it, like no one can tell i have it. Im sick of being forced onto government related companies and getting a job + drivers lisence has been made much harder for me all over something that isnt even an issue for me. Basically asd has ruined my life and i have been very depressed for the last 6 months. I feel i have no purpose and any use for the world
Hang in there dawg it will get better
@@kden7197sorry for the late reply but shit has gotten much better now. I’ve become a full time farmhand, got my license at last and gotten into acting/modelling and excelling at it!
Speech impediment as a kid followed by low self esteem which lead to life of misery
I'm so sorry to hear it.
I was more obvious as a child. I find many adults get better at masking. I find if I am quiet its harder, obviously, for anyone else to tell.
I’ve been diagnosed with autism and I relate to all of this stuff
If I'm diagnosed with Autism will it make my life better or worse? I feel that after getting diagnosed with ADHD my life got worse. I began blaming things on my ADHD instead of actually doing something about it. I'm medicated, but that seems to do nothing. I'm about the same as I ever have been except I can't get any of my chores done or find a job- not that I want one.
Id say worse then because you might use the autism as an excuse
I have a diagnosis of autism but none of these apply to me 💀
I hear that a lot. I'm not sure why so many people diagnosed with autism say that they don't evidence the symptoms that define the disorder in the DSM-5. Possibly in the next edition, they will describe the symptoms differently.
I can understand a person better when they are explaining something to me much better when im not looking at them...its like i can hear them more clearly and visually see what they are trying to say in my mind. It just makes more since when i stare off into space when people talk to me...
I do that too, everyone thinks I'm weird. And so I am!
Nah bc i have like a mental notebook of what faces are necessary to display certain expressions so i dont confuse other ppl in conversation 💀 like i always actively make a happy face so the other person knows im happy, cause usually i dont make a whole lot of facial expressions subconsciously
I was diagnosed with autism and my parents don’t believe it and idk if I am or not
I have autistic traits but I am not diagnosed with it.
My granddaughter is autistic I’ve raised her it’s hard she talks but doesn’t talk. It’s hard to make her understand. 22 at a 11to 12 year level. Imagine being that forever. She will never grow up in her mind.
My daughter has all of this and I've been trying to get her diagnosed for years, she's now 20
Many psychologists don't specialize in diagnosing autism, but a psychologist in your area might be able point you or your daughter in the right direction if she is interested in getting a formal diagnosis.
Women present differently. Listen to autistic people on signs of autism. They're much more complex.
I dont have autism, and I admit that I had at a young age. I want to prove a point to everyone that I can do everything by myself and not let all these traits tell me that I can't since I'm on the low "spectrum". But right now I'm getting my life together due to all of the traumatic times I had to deal with my family due to my disability.
I just want to prove a point that one day I will be living by myself and doing things independently and not let anyone help me through my day to day life. Especially my over exaggerated family. I bet my own family never wanted me around because of me being different from everyone.
I am actually really good at social cues when it comes to facial expression and tone of voice, most of my issues are making and keeping friends and sensory issues
I have none of theese traits and the doctor said im autistic, i hate my life because of it even though a function like a normal person
This man is not making things easier for autistic people. Coming out with all this could make them more vulnerable.
I had a 10 year friendship blow up in my face because I didn't know what she wanted to hear and couldn't word my feelings correctly.
That's a difficult situation.
Does it count if I learned to act out facial expressions consciously?
I initially learned it to stop getting blamed for what I didn't do, But now do it so people know how I feel, It isn't perfect, However...
Does it count?
It's called Masking, women are especially good at it. We learn how to act 'normal' so we will be perceived as 'normal'.
I discovered today that my husband is on Spectrum. Everything matches him. And I was worried he didn't love me.
Ive had autism and ADHD since I was 6
I've dealt with several children with this. I just know the help is far far away here in Canada. It's just sad to see😊
True.
Just to add: It may not nessisarily be difficulty with social interactions; It can be a diffrent communication pattern and not eveyone whom is diagonsed with ASD struggle with social interactions while some do, as ots a spectrum. And we can understand friendahip, i get its a wording choice, but it comes off as 'All autisitc people cant understand friendship or social cues." (I cpuld be phrased like "A lot of Autisitic people have deficits in understanding certain social cues, and this can fluctuate within a person aswell).
When you meet one autistic person, Youve met one autistic person.
(Oh, and we do care about iniciaiting interactions, we just often are to anixois)
I also wpuld like to point out that a lot of autistic pople have truma, and therefore the truma can also influence social interactions and friend ships.
As someone who wasn't diagnosed with "Asperger's" until their late 30s all of my past relationships failed until I married my second husband, who is also high functioning (savant with a high IQ). His is more noticable while I've been able to find coping skills to mask mine. Yet,we somehow balance each other out. Is this common, or do individuals on the spectrum usually end up with neurotypical individuals?
I'm not sure of the actual statistics, but in my practice, it does seem that people with autistic tendencies maintain relationships with others with autistic tendencies. I think they have different expectations of each other that work, compared to the expectations of neurotypical individuals.
Oh... I actually do experience these 3 things. I've never been diagnosed with autism, and I've been wanting to check if I do because people always end up asking if I am. I always thought they were crazy for even asking. The more people asked, the more I dug into my past and thought about it. yeah, those 3 descriptions very accurately depict my experience with the social world thus far in my lifetime.
Ive always struggled with socializing.
People confuse me with their facial expressions, especially when they just stand there looking me in the eyes while not saying anything. I hate sustained eye contact too, it really bothers me. How am I supposed to respond to all that? Sometimes a bit later they ask how I am doing, but I know from experience that question is either just a greeting or a way to ask you a different question, it's not a genuine question. I feel like im always being lied to, and I feel like im always expected to give false information and take the initiative on what THEY want me to say without even telling me what that thing is. Im walking on landmines over here, people been getting mad at me and have become a lot more distant. To the point where some people are talking funny to me and testing my reactions 😂
I have these but what is the difference between that and being shy? Growing up i was labeled shy.
Even if you are shy, you'd still be able to communicate, conversate, and make connections, it's just your own reservations holding you back. You can outgrow shyness. Autistic people's brains seem to be wired where they cannot do any of these because the way their brain is wired makes them unable to communicate, conversate, or make connections.
Autistic people don't understand "normal" people, so their brain over thinks about everything and as a kid they adapted to copying normal people, bcuz they are afraid of being judged if they stimm in public.You don't have to believe me, but I know I'm right.
I think we pick more, all expressions and we found them contradictory in some point of our lifes, so we decided to just stuck with the words.
As an autistic person, I wouldnt say its a lack of interest but rather an inability to initiate instead because most of the other autistic people I know including myself express a desire and interest in connecting and being friends with others despite having difficulties. Autistic people can also be over expressive and extroverted as well but we still struggle socially. we are a very diverse community and autism can present differently based on a ton of things. This sounds like a very stereotypical explanation of what autistism is but not in a bad way its just respenting one way it been typically known to present. Im not disagreeing im just adding information that is not talked about enough when talking about autism. this disorder is much more complicated than just having social problems. It has a looot to do with sensory overload issues as well. The fact I am overally expressive and extroverted is one of the reasons my autism was missed until adulthood. They also didnt think adhd and autism where comorbid in the 90s early 2000s, when in reality roughly 60% of us have both, and autism will also present differently when someone also has adhd.
Excellent comment. Volumes of literature whittled down to one minute is extremely lacking. Plus RUclips cut off a bunch to make it into a short. Sorry.
Oh u just made My day lmao. I could literally kiss ur feet mate😂😂😂. My son has suffered prolonged trauma through bullying mental and physical. But trying to say he's autistic. U will never know how much uv made my year with this post ❤❤ scream it from the roof tops big man. We need you in Coventry. And actually educate these Muppet what autism actually is love you so much it hurts❤❤
He's recovering from trauma 14 years old but they're trying to diagnose him with autism give him a teddy bear and cuddle Time on the rug. Kids suffering from unresolved trauma but I know let's hit his masculinity a little more and patronise him to the point of exploding then tell him he's being uncomplaint. I could listen to u all day lmao ❤❤