8 Characteristics of a Malignant Narcissist
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 9 сен 2020
- This is just a brief overview - If you would like to learn more, I have written a full article on Malignant Narcissists: survivingnarcissism.tv/malign...
As we begin to talk about the primary characteristics that go into the making of malignant narcissism, remember that the narcissist tends to be very controlling. They have to have their own way in many different kinds of arenas. A narcissist doesn’t bother taking much time or effort to try to understand you, because they have a low level of empathy.
Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who lives in Dallas, Tx. In the past 40 years he has conducted more than 60,000 counseling sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.
Download Dr. Carters FREE Ebook Here: survivingnarcissism.tv/underst...
If you are interested in online counseling, Dr. Carter has a sponsor who can assist. As the need is there, please seek the help you deserve: betterhelp.com/drcarter
We receive commissions on referrals to BetterHelp. We only recommend services that we trust.
Join Dr. Carter on our Facebook page, Surviving Narcissism, for a time of live questions and answers each Thursday at 11:30 Central Time, U.S.
Sign up for our email list and check out other videos, articles, quizzes, and more at our website: survivingnarcissism.tv
Dr. Carter's personal website: drlescarter.com/
Dr. Carter's other RUclips channel: / drlescarter
Bookstore: survivingnarcissism.tv/books-...
Dr. Carter's online video workshops on narcissism, anger management, and overcoming infidelity: drlescarter.com/video-workshops/
Coffee Mugs: teespring.com/stores/survivin... 
Кино
1. Antisocial
2. Shun authority and accountability
3. Ruthless
4. Impervious to any pain they generate
5. Play the victim, paranoia
6. Entitled all the time
7. Low level of guilt
8. Unable to see their own shortcomings
hm... think covert are more antisocial but yes, i guess its a trait also. But on the surface many overt narcs can seem quite social...
I see you have met my sister in law
Sounds like a certain former president I know…
Unable or unwilling to see their own shortcomings. I have a best friend whose immediate family is infected with and affected by systemic malignant narcissism. It's absolutely tragic.
@@trojanpony how that Biden working out for ya????????🤔🤭
I am just recovering from an experience with a malignant narcissist. Very disturbing behavior. Didn’t see it coming. This person manipulated and deceived me from the beginning. They studied me carefully & pretended to be my friend. Exaggerated ego! This person sleeps great at night as they are wreaking havoc in people’s lives. Absolutely NO empathy! They are EVIL! Run for the hills & don’t ever look back!
its so hard to comprehend. how can they sleep at night knowing someday one of their victims might lose it and take revenge in the worst way...that has to be on their minds, or maybe they just dont care.
She McGee - it is really hard to make sense of it. I really believe that they don’t care. They believe they’ve done nothing wrong. No one would take revenge on them. As Dr. C said, their victims are the ones with the problem; we deserve it. What a sad existence!
@@1ajtg Bravo - after such a long time of victimisation, that took immense courage - may your journey continue to be filled with peace, happiness and laughter :)
Jeannie thank you 😊 I try my best :) :) :) x
@She McGee, if someone loses their sanity, employment, house, job, money, or takes their own life... the narc just says out loud "It's not MY fault they couldn't handle it" as if "it" wasn't that bad! They don't mourn
They're incredibly dangerous. Sometimes it takes an act of God to escape their obsessive control.
Yes, God stepped in for me too. I ignored the red flags of their despicable behaviour and learned the hard way. I no longer associate with some of my family.
They made a movie about it. It's called "sleeping with the enemy" 1991 staring Julia Roberts
Amen, divine intervention
I need God's intervention.
Don't blame yourself. A lot of us good people didn't know better therefore God decided to step in.
I was married to a MN for thirty years. The thing is he was such a good actor. Academy award winning actor. And still is. People wonder how they get drawn into this. These nasty people watch you closely and know exactly what to do to make you obey them. Manipulation, covert bullying, blackmail, playing on your fears... they have a whole catalogue. All hidden under concern for you, the ideal family man, the ideal friend to you. He’s so nice everyone agrees, such a nice helpful man. It just all doesn’t add up to their actual actions. They cannot be truthful, cannot stick to agreements, constantly very carefully make you anxious and doubt yourself. Hate it when you are happy and have to squash it. Give all their attention to other women and treat you as if you don’t exist certainly don’t matter. Twist all truths. Everything they do is seen through the lens of their monstrous ego. He once told me that his sole purpose in life was to destroy me. I laughed it was so dramatic. I didn’t think anyone said things like that and meant it. Years later, I know He meant it. If someone tells you who they are, believe them
and they play both sides off of each other too, am I wrong? ie, my brother triangulated his ex against me and me against her. Just like his sick mother. She knows it too, she is PROUD of it. It's so SICK.
I was also married for 30 years to a malignant npd and he is an alcoholic
Pure hell is an understatement going through day to day especially in the later years. He is everything and then some that the Dr. is describing. Pure evil
Lena I'm glad you got away it couldn't have been easy but know they never stop the abuse it's a sick game they play. I wish I could leave but I have an illness I'm not up to the fight and I don't want to loose my insurance.
I send you strength and support. You are a hero for surviving all that abuse. It takes a warrior strength to do that. Protect yourself. I wish you well.
mona masry Thank you so much for your support. The worst thing is the loneliness since you cannot tell anyone what is happening. I did try once or twice but people didn’t understand. I am so glad that now it’s out in the open and we can say. And others who have been and are in the same place can have the support they need. There is so much information to help and give the clarity you need. Blessings
To this day, I regret not pressing charges against the malignant narc who verbally assaulted me, threatened and intimidated me, and even convinced one his flying monkeys to physically assault me.
This malignant narc was the manager of the gym that I was a paying member of. I regret not suing the fuck out of his gym and forcing them to pay for therapy to treat the long-lasting trauma his abuse inflicted on me.
This assault happened over ten years ago, but I'm so traumatized I still get daily flashbacks to what happened. I hate myself for not suing them.
He looked me in the eye and said "I'll break you" and I said "good luck".
All because I refused to fulfill his demands which were impractical to say the least.
That is really disturbing...especially how bold they were in stating that. Disgusting 🤢
I hope you got away safe and sound
Mine told me "I control you. I control everything about you!". And this was said after I had already left him. I shattered his false narrative he wanted to portray to the world. They are the AntiChrist. Best thing I ever did was leave him.
Bravo! Excellent comeback. I am sure that must have rattled him.
That's what happened in rocky too
ruclips.net/video/6gQ3SlrAcuo/видео.html
The scene
True story.. my narc complained "you're too strong" and I replied "you'll NEVER break me".
The Narcs i've met who held high positions in church have been some of the most malignant narcs.
Yes! And they HAVE TO hold those positions of power to do their nefarious deeds. The religious narcs are bad news.
That makes a whole lot of sense to me now..Thanks for that insight.
The most evil is who makes it to the top of the satanic infiltrated systems.
They need power so they hide in religion. It's sick!!!
Yes, same.
My father was a narc, but my brother is a malignant narc. I'm in the process of cutting him out of my life, to the point of selling out and moving from our beautiful family property. Life is too short to spend it near one of these freaks.
My mom was a covert Narcissist and my sister is a Malignant Narcissist with Grandiose tendencies. Mom died in March. No tears. Mom gave everything to my sister. She moved to Oregon. I have not had contact with my sister since 2000.
i’m being stalked by my narc brother. his behavior is exactly like what i’ve been reading. no contact aint easy.
Yes get away. God will help you and heal you
Please pray for my grandchildren. Their mother is a narcissist and their father an empath. So heart breaking 💔
Same here. My malignant narc brother knows no boundaries, stalks me psychopathically, and lives only to make my life hell. I will be selling the family property and I will vanish.
They make your skin crawl and give you the creeps. They have absolutely no shame regarding how low they will go to ruin your reputation and lie if needed. However, if they want something from you, they can turn on the charm.
Exactly.... they are big time users!!! Just say NO!!!
Yep so gross. Only encountered it once in my whole life and I literally could feel evil emanating from this man. Then minutes later someone says “he’s a good guy.” NO HE ISN’T. He has so many fooled. He chews unsuspecting women up and spits them out to feel powerful. He couldn’t control me - though he wanted to try and he was going to do it through blackmail I’m almost positive.
Exactly! The toxicity they exude is palpable.
😘
@@chelseamiracle128yesss you can literally feel evil seeping from their skin. It’s terrifying
Had a malignant narcissist as a co-worker. She fought with everyone. She had to be in control. She did what she wanted, when she wanted, did not follow the rules, and when called out on her behavior, she’d cry and blame us for not accepting her. She was spiteful and vindictive and she targeted people. She was one of the most horrible people I have ever known. She was also a chronic liar.
Sounds like someone I work with. To the T
She love bombed me at work, she have no morals
Democrats, the worst.
Sounds like my former supervisor to a T, except for the crying part. She would have viewed that as looking weak/vulnerable. But man, she was mega paranoid. We even found out she was recording other employees' private conversations in the staff room. That's illegal, but that's how entitled and bulletproof she viewed herself to be.
Reminds me of a certain female narc I know
It's heartbreaking - especially when it's one of your parents. The abuse they suffered, and then the genetics on top of that. It's like loving a lion - sometimes the only self-protection is to stay away.
Sirena! Life changing comment you gave right here.
I've met a few lions in captivity and I can say that they probably don't feel "love" like we do. They just look at you with hard eyes and you can see that there's only a few thoughts passing through that mind. "Are you edible? Are you a competitor? If the answer to any of those questions is no, then you are unimportant." Then they just look right through you with those hard yellow eyes. I found it quite disturbing.
@@reswobiandreaming3644 This is it! EXACTLY the description of what I've felt in the encounters. You really put the experience down, especially the eyes that show that ruthlessness but also the numbness of a short range of conscience. Well said!
@@shrillytemple1654 The most disturbing thing I found about the lion experience was the behaviour of the people. I remember a woman shaking the wire shouting at the big male lion, "Look at me! Look at me!" The lion totally ignored her, waiting for meat to be thrown over the top of the wire. I seriously did not want that lion to notice me. The way it observed the world in that predatory way, I just wanted to melt into the ground and be invisible.
Then there was petting time with a lion cub. It's eyes had brown baby softness but it was being fed on a podium and we were instructed to just pat it's quarters. This family was still trying to pat its head and the cub was trying to defend the meat. The handler said he was just being playful. I could see that this cub would break my arm for sport. I vacated that area. That thing could have spun around and taken my hand off the way that family was working it's energy levels up.
I think that people really are predator naive for the most part. I guess that's the way the narcs like it and I suspect they have put selection pressure on the human population so their prey base gets larger.
I agree I can't really talk to my mum because even tho I love her she's always jelous of me even as a kid because I was strong and a go getter and she's weak in every way. All the amount of money I have given her never makes her love me or treat me well .I give up. Better to stay away for my sanity .I do still cry for her at times because she is not in my life by her choice because she discards me every time
Malignant Narcissists injure their targets in ways that are often not punishable by the law. Devious and dangerous to a frightening degree. Their victims are left with no redress.
They can be lawyers / attorneys themselves. Many such individuals have gone through higher education. These people are not necessarily poor. They come from wealthy and well-off families and can own a business.
@@Minneolaos Agreed, which makes their crimes against the less privileged even more abhorrent. Beyond evil.
@@ritanmartinez8630 some states have passed laws on coercive control in some states in the U.S and the UK. The UK passed a law on coercive control about 3 yrs ago.. California and Hawaii followed 2 yrs later. They’re haven’t been that as many cases brought to trial in the u.s as the u.k but it’s a start! Theirs a program in the u.s that helps women get out of these situation by first creating an independence w/ money a job, whatever to get out of the situation. Since this is usually where we get stuck. I can’t remember the nonprofit orgs name. I only saw it when reading stuff online and looking for a lawyer.
@@Minneolaos Seems to be more common among law enforcement, as well. I say this with great respect for those who serve honorably. But it's no real surprise that they gravitate towards positions of power.
Once I screamed at my narcissistic ex because it was already affecting my mental health that day I finished, when I screamed at her her mask fell for a moment and I could see how real her personality is, you will not believe it, it is a child in the body of a woman, a child's smile, a child's way, they wear a mask to look like adults, in fact they have a child's psyche and abuse is nothing less than a game for them, like "ringing the bell" from the neighbor "you know ... it is something surreal if you see what they are like inside the urge to throw up. Do not cherish love for these creatures. They are definitely not adults yet they are children I can't explain.
Abusing me gave my Malignant Covert Narcissist sister this euphoric joy across her face. 😖
It is the child we are drawn to protect.
Jared Zufelt But that physical child no longer exists. In her place is a grown woman who is mentally frozen as a malignant child who does not want to give up the euphoria that comes with abusing others.
Children are angels don't kill their names
I saw the same 'child' when the malignant narc broke down realizing he'd have to take care of his elderly mother. He was bawling then wimping like a 3yo toddler.
The narc ex had no lows he wouldn't sink to. When I divorced him, he deliberately threw away all my important papers, treasured heirlooms, old family pictures and any other items of mine that he could find--things I owned long before I had even met him. He waited for the trash truck to come and just tossed them all away. He laughed at me when I asked about them. Not to mention the unspeakable acts he did to his own child. These malignant narcissists will haunt you forever with their cruel evil behaviors!
My malignant npd ex husband threw away my a big box of my priceless childhood memories , a chest of momentos and letters from my late mom.he did this evil act secretly when I mistakenly thought we were in a positive place.I found them in the garbage thankfully.
@@Canaday291 He up and done you a favor. Why live in the past? You should use them to write a book and get money if they have any value. If you're just an ordinary critter, best trash them all. If your house is just a pile of bricks in some, God-forsaken hole, what good does such 'food for thought' have?
@@keplermission4947 , amazing that all narcissists are born speaking the same cruel language
@@Canaday291 , so happy you found them! Even happier that you thwarted the smug joy he was anticipating to have if watching you fruitlessly search for those precious irreplaceable items.
It was just me. Not the kids. No holes in the walls. Not our household goods. Just ... me.
I have known narcissists but thank God I never lived with one. My heart aches for all of you whose lives are entangled with these soul destroying creatures ❤️
Having a narcissist dad is not fun at all
I did, and regretted it. Dad is the narcissist. I would not live with him again. Toxic all around.
I have but, I CANNOT IMAGINE HOW a person can ever heal from it ESPECIALLY when it's a parent... I think of how much it has DESTROYED ME and it is unbearable.... I don't mean to discourage any AMAZING people who had to endure that growing up.... That enrages me!!! God! Dealing with it as a teenager/adult is bad enough but, Goddamn those monsters who inflict that hell on a child!!!!! My heart hurts for ANYONE who has but, from a formative figure.... I just want to say I love you, you NEVER deserved that and I wish you all the healing and joy humanly possible!
@@dreznoryorkekeenanbuckley2226 ❤️I’m so sorry for your pain.
Thank You!! What about a family of them?? 😢
Mine also told me both his ex wives told him leaving him was the biggest mistake they ever made and I’d never find anyone who loves me like he does. I’m pretty sure neither ex wanted him back and I for damn sure don’t want anyone to love me like he did.
Jill Halpin,
Your former narcissistic boyfriend/husband was LYING to you about his ex-wives!! He told you that to persuade you to never think of leaving him. Man, these people are diabolical and EVIL👿!!
I've always said if I were to marry again, I'd talk directly with the ex to get her side of the story. Sounds like that would be a good idea.
Mine said the same thing. Told me I would never find anyone like him. I said yes, that's the whole point.
Jill Halpin It's very funny when they say that and it shows how much they lack insight! It's also part of the cognitive dissonance though.
My ex-partners never said that to me because love wasn't mentioned, except by me, yet many do say it and I totally agree that the whole idea is not to have their type of "love" ever again. 🤨
You are absolutely correct and it’s so important that you shared this with us. These people are dangerous! I know firsthand. I got away! They are like a cat playing with a mouse. They don’t kill the mouse because they need it because it’s useful to them. Don’t be that mouse! Run!!
Great analogy!!
Thats so true... my .m.n father .. taunted 'teased' baited... now seeing the vuln. Side as they age and makes my stomach churn.... they only want your kind side when they need you! 🙋
Just casually glide away now that the truth is known. Healing comes from knowing you escaped the hellish cycle and will have peace while no longer entertaining the suffering meant for them NOT YOU
How do I run, I live with him😢😢
So on point. 3rd week no contact. Still hard, but I’m glad I’m not with a psycho anymore
I'm 133 days out and it's hard but your life gets better day by day. Hang in there! 🙌🏽
Count each day that passes with no contact as a blessing.
Good luck! I’m at week 4!
What makes it hard?
@@SanctifiedLady no family.friends support...financial etc wanting to hold onto the honeymoon stage and hope and pray they will change .
Wow. Still in recovery from it and he has my kids turning against each other and me. Battle 13yr and counting. So please be aware.
Bless your heart my dear ❤🙏
yep never good enough for those psycho
They are soul destroying. The worst part of it is you don't dont see what they are doing.Even if you are smart.They are like psychopaths, and they can draw in an empath. If you are empathic,beware. Empathizing with them you will lose yourself.The MN I was married to was a psyhchologist who told me when I got a PhD then I could comment, or tell what my motives were.Scary.
You, Dr. Grande and Dr. Ramani helped me through hell and high waters with a narc. As a normal person, you cannot change that narc situation until you understand that you will never change the narc. Once I knew what was at stake, I ran for the hills....the gaslighting part was the worst. They simply do anything to protect their persona. Don't give a damn. Run. You have your clear conscience and you know what is right or wrong. Run!
Stay tuned. I'm going to upload soon a video on the narcissist's public persona vs the shadow self. Dr. C
@@SurvivingNarcissism can they kill you?
I had a vision of being choked with an arm around neck from my partner
8 agree that it's the gaslighting that is the most vile thing the narc meters out, its so insidious ...makes my skin crawl.
I’m so glad to be free!!!!!!
You said it, they will not be reformed. Don’t try!
My grandfather is a malignant narcissist. He is 95 and still going strong...lol.
So unintentionally hilarious but also sad how they just get worse with age.
He must have plenty of supply to last that long....stop the supply and they wither....
Learning about narcissism has made this life so much clearer. I used to think I didn't fit in and there was something wrong with me. I didn't get why there is so much abuse, even from people that are supposed to help us. Recognising narcissism has changed everything. It doesn't matter that someone is a policeman, or a doctor - if they're a narcissist they will abuse their position to exert control over you. The world makes so much sense now, but also it makes me sad how messed up it is.
The thing is, it's not easy to understand the whole concept, it's a twisted and complex construct. But once you do, you recognise it immediately and can disengage (at least mentally) from such people asap. Unfortunately the world seems to me a much worse place than I thought it was before. But better to see the truth than fall victim of the narcissists' abuse. Unfortunately we live in a world run by narcissists, so it's no wonder that we're gaslit to believe there's something wrong with us. Generally, the more healthy we are within ourselves, the more we can see that this is not all this world has to offer and that there are some good people in it and that it doesn't need to be the narcissistic way, we can tell the good people from the bad.
I spot them a mile away now, or I hope to
i know of one she is a keeper of books i will say she is micro managing my older friend's life or trying to do so happily my older friend is on to her and will un-employ her soon gradually she has crossed boundaries trying to manage my friend's entire life trying to make her dependent said friend only has some physical problems yet the narcissist treats her as though she is mentally deficient these narcissists will look for holes in someone's amour trying to exploit them for financial gain trying to hold on to clients and manipulate their emotions calling them '' friend '' when in reality these people are the worst enemy ever they want control of clients lives
@@PriHLget help bud😂
@@R.S.G879 get educational help and use the internet wisely :)
I am stunned and have a tear in my eye hearing this because you described the person who was called my mother. I didn’t know how to perceive and define her type of personality disorder and the really bad effects she had on my life. The weird paranoia, the total inability she had to feel guilt and lack of a conscience over causing another immense harm have been beyond my comprehension. I’m an empath and couldn’t begin to wrap my head around her crazy/evil. I suffered from her abuse until 59 when I couldn’t stand one more minute of her. I wish this was taught to young people everywhere because this information is life changing.
Glad this resonated. Knowledge is power, so keep learning! Dr. C
Bless you! I too was in my 50's before I discovered Empath/Narcissist, codependent, etc. I was so excited to find a name for the thing that had made my life a living hell. I called my sister and told her about codependent/narcissist, and she said "I don't like that word!" I knew then that I never had a prayer. Everyone in my life had been a narcissist. When I left one, I married another. Worked for one, dated one. I even raised one. By doing too much for them. There is healing on RUclips. Not too many can make it as far as we did. They too become a narcissist. God must have great plans for you. You are a wonderful person.
Same honey at 57 I blocked her from my present and future life and my sister also who called me horrible names and never apologize who is a control freak uses men what scares me is she is verbally physically abusive to her 17 year old daughter I tried to tell her to come down not to call her names or be physically dangerous and stop to threaten people she called me jealous or just horrible names she is evil
Me 2 - Your description is spot on.
Short, sweet, and to the point. I was married to one for 25 years and I can attest to every fact you have stated as being true. They just get filthier with age. Thank God he's been gone for I forgot how long. And he did come with demons I believe. Nobody could operate like that in the name of God
Sugar Free me too. 33 years and counting
30 years for me . It is like he is possessed by the devil..so incredibly evil. I am so happy I divorced him finally
@@Canaday291 Good for you! God bless you....🙏🏼 And may the rest of your life be the best of your life!!
@Gabrielle ....I know exactly what you mean . They are soul & emotion feeding creatures !! They are saturated with demons from Hell !!
They are quite literally possessed by the devil. I mean it LITERALLY. They need an exorcism. These people are trapped. They hate holy objects.
M. Scott Peck wrote a book about them -"People of the Lie". It's much lighter reading than Erich Fromm, but still draining and terrifying. It's best to read this stuff in small amounts.
It’s a brilliant book. I agree small chunks but the knowledge you gain is tremendous and you certainly know that these people need avoiding if you can if not RUN
I listened to the whole audiobook in about 2 days and it took a few weeks to fully shake it off. Really gets under your skin, but still very useful information. I agree that for everyone else, smaller amounts at a time would be healthier.
It is a creepy but fascinating book.
I just ordered it from Ebay, thank you for the suggestion!
Thanks for the suggestion. I checked, and my library doesn't have it, but I've put it on my Amazon list. Another book that I'm reading right now that offers huge insights into narcissistic behavior, but not in a clinical psychology way, is Robert Greene's latest book: "The Laws of Human Nature". I have been telling friends and other interested people that it will probably be the most important book I read all year. And, as an avid reader, that's saying a lot.
Just finished reading the section on narcissism, and what he describes as "deep narcissists". His telling of Joseph Stalin is clearly that of a malignant narcissist. Trump, to those of us not caught up in his cult of personality who are being duped by it, is very clearly one as well.
Knowing how these operate, and seeing the signs ahead of time, as both Greene and our Dr. Carter here point out, is crucial.
The one I encountered was an avid reader of Alice Miller, of all people.
I think it helps them to reinforce their delusions of being these "good people" by adopting and spouting the opposite. I have more disgust for mNPDs than for pure blooded sociopaths because at least sociopaths have no illusion of being good people, where as the mNPD is capable of acting morally self righteous after doing the despicable things a sociopath also does. There is not a more pathetic, horrifying and evil kind of person in the world than someone who is a malignant narcissist, especially if they are also a covert malignant narcissist (the type I encountered). These people are the living dead in a spiritual sense of the word-- having a need to feed on your soul in order to keep themselves moving.
Me too... a covert malignant narcissist... the worst thing in the world!
10.5 years and I think she is a covert malignant narcissist.
I seen a way different side to her right before I filed. now that we are going through a divorce. Lying, manipulating, playing victim, threatening, being sweet, vicious….
So many personalities, and she picks and chooses which one suits the situation to get what she wants
Surrounded by about 20 of these... just realized after about 30 years... now trying to get out... hopefully alive... and with my mind working straight... Lol... Godspeed me
Sorry people... that was me venting and being narcissistic... Godspeed all of us.
Strangely enough, the malignant narc that devastated my life was a pastor/Bible teacher in the late 1980's. I heard that he died recently and felt very mixed feelings about that. I'm sure whatever I felt, his daughters he molested before he was a pastor (and spent time in prison for, later changing his name so no one could find out easily) felt even further conflicting emotions. He destroyed so many people with his paranoia and the pedestal he put himself on , he was a horrible person. Last year when I was trashed by an overt female narcissist, I finally realized what had really happened to me and my husband in the 80's at the hands of that evil man; it became so clear at last, the why of it all, what he really was. Thanks, Dr. Carter.
My stepfather was a malignant narc. He was in my life for 50 years and I’ve never cried a tear for his death. I was relieved he died.
He terrorized my family. When my young son said he was uncomfortable around my stepfather, I told him he never needed to see him again, and he didn’t.
I told stepfather off when he was old and dying, then never saw him again. Now I avoid ALL narcissists. I’ve filled my quota of toxic people. I appreciate and nurture all the good/normal friends and family that remain.
@Purpleoceangnome It is very sad your experience with so called "Christians" would make you bitter and hateful against the REAL Christ. There's still time to get to know the original Jesus. Don't waste your time hating bad copies. 🙏
My son's father was an engineer and now he's a pastor. He has no dealings with our 7 yr old son whatsoever. I literally had to fight tooth and nail to get child support. He has a 5 yr old now that he named after him and does everything in the world for but our first born he won't even acknowledge. The DNA test were done and confirmed he's his son but yet and still he doesn't do anything for him besides a very small amount in child support..
@@kynathomas4809 Yeah, engineers are a different breed. The truth is whether a parent does something or doesn't, the narcissist children will never see anything but faults. How about that? Yeah, these narcissistic children will lie and play victim no matter whether the parent was the greatest or the worst. Just get away from all of them, the brats and the parents.
@Purpleoceangnome I am sorry you feel that way. I am a believer. This man used his position to control people and make himself feel better about his life. In short, he trashed the name of us all, misrepresented what a believer is to those who don't and hurt us all, not just the ones in his group. It did not shake my faith, but there is truth in what you said. Most are posers and pretenders in all denominations. A true believer has had a change in spiritual DNA and cannot be otherwise. I am fully convinced that a narcissist is incapable of that, that he cannot be saved, that they are truly reprobate.
Thank you Dr. Carter. I am finally moving out and moving on.
do it! NO contact is the way to get healthy!
My malignant narc is actually VERY helpful. He uses “acts of service” to manipulate others, validate his fake self, and as a currency of how he can use others in return for his help. He is a very hard worker and finds his identity in his work. Behind closed doors (and also in the open in certain situations) he is very abusive and a neglectful/abandoning husband and father. He is quick to help others, and quick to suck them dry for whatever he can in exchange. He also believes if he does manual work around the home it excuses his duty of emotional and social interactions with the family. I’m in the beginning stages of separation, and I’m afraid of the unknown, but each day around him is MISERABLE, truly.
Communal narc, I believe it’s called
Sounds Communal
I house shared with one once. He said to me one time having gotten back from the pub drunk "I'm going to break you in two". He then proceeded to attack me, having cornered me in a small room. This guy WAS the devil. I should have reported him to the police.
Thank you. This confirms a lot about someone who did a lot of damage but I'm free of now. I've been focusing on how to avoid these people because I saw a pattern.
I wish I had had someone to consult with back in the mid-70s when I married my narcissistic husband. I was very naive and made excuses to others about his actions. I stuck it out with him for over 36 years, not knowing what narcissism was, but I knew something wasn't right with him. He treated our daughter very well, but he was so hateful to our son, punishing him for made up misbehaviors and calling him awful names. Over the decades, my ex's behavior steadily got worse and he was acting more and more psychotic. He went berserk with the kids and they felt he could become very dangerous to be around, so they called me and told me to pack my things because they were going to move me out of that mess. It wasn't until about 5 months after I moved out that someone mentioned that my estranged husband sounded like a narcissist. I had never heard of it, but I looked it up and started reading everything I could find online and I also ordered several books on narcissism. I was astounded! I could have written the books myself. If I had known about this behavior in the beginning, I would've left him decades sooner. I truly believe the constant anxiety and emotional roller coaster that he kept me on made me physically ill.
I BELIEVE EVERY WORD YOU SAID!!😔
They will make you physically ill just from the stress your under constantly.
@@nana820able yes!! Your body feels everything
They Instill fear in any neurotypical empathetic person
I was best friends with a narcissist I to just thought something was off with him and then I stumbled upon this stuff online and he fit every single description, everything. I didn't even believe in personality disorders. I thought they were myth. Man I was wrong, they are good at acting calm and cool around people for their public image. Wasn't even until probably a year that I realized something was really wrong at the point where we started to hang out just us.
The key thing is.. 'Once you see it' because especially female malignant narcissists, it's virtually impossible to detect though I promise you in hindsight there was a little something out of balance way down in your stomach asking for your immediate attention on day 1. But it was so far down and small you most likely won't know what it meant until it's far in hindsight and you have distance from the trauma. Worst dark triad person you'll ever meet on this Earth.
You know it’s bad when Dr. Carter jus dismisses them.
The malignant narcissist is its own separate breed. Dr. C
The malignant narcissists who avoid criminal prosecution are prosecuting others in real life their own way. They are the 24/7 pit stop of patheticness.
They get off on their own slightest sense of reasoning.
Robert Boyle So true
Gordon Fornow Gordon, you best help is your gut feelings. Something is always odd about them even if on the surface they appear to be ‘normal’. Don’t let anyone into your inner self until you have known them for a while. They are nasty so it will surface somewhere about you or others.
@@maidmarion2976 not everyone is attuned to their gut feelings. I wonder if narcissists in general are themselves. There are conscious factors that help regulate that gut instinct sensory, and narcissistic awareness aids a practical response to what those instincts might be alluring you of.
I cant really close off when getting familiar to someone. I think a good outright deep and meaningful offers 'the would be narcissist' plenty of opportunity to reveal their acknowledgement to regular forms of response.
It's a tough ask but helps alot by the time things could lead down the track. It could be a really quick start to developing mutual respect.
The Dr Carter brothers would have an encyclopedia of methods to nut out the lengths and extremes for all cases of pathological disorder, but yes, they would ultimately be very covert/cautious in the process of doing that.
My malignant bio father is once again trying to track me down. I'm facing the possibility of having to call the cops on someone I'm afraid to even look at, with the fear that the cop will sympathize with their "genuine desire to speak to their daughter" against the word of someone with no evidence of abuse to back them up. Never mind acquiring a restraining order. I genuinely feel that I'm inescapably tied to this person, forever, with nothing standing in the way.
Got to add "character assassins" which is how i got my head around the concept of the"malignant narcissist." That and direct experience. Malignancies spread and permeate things around them. Malignant narcissists do this,in one of the many ways, by means of throwing anyone under the bus who they perceive has crossed them. And they do it real fast I suppose this plays into the concept of narc paranoia and the grandiose notion of victory. These have got tp be the blindest of narcissists. Its all too much! 🙄
My father is a malignant narcissist. I’m 45 years old and about 5 minutes away from needing to live in a women’s shelter because of all the effects he has had on my life. God help me.
These poor souls suck life&spirit because they have such low levels in themselves..& my Lord, they are everywhere!😬 So glad voices like yours are helping us to become aware&Armed!
Things I experienced. Charmed me. Flattered me. Told me about being a victim. Physical abuse, the whole world, all people are vile, people have no souls. Things she would say. Then wanted commitment. I ghosted her for a few days. Then started chatting again. Next. Ruined my reputation at work. Told everyone everything negative about me & some. Talked evil to my face everyday. Would say things like wanting to stab me in the neck or show up at my house, I should be afraid of her. Everyday said she was the best at everything, 1 million times better than all our co-workers, they were ALL worthless. It was terrible/ terrifying. No shame & will use you to the max.
If someone is dominating you & taking too much of your time. Delete them asap. Wish I had. If you get a bad vibe the 1st week, RUN!
My ex will not abide by the divorce settlement. He sold the few material things that were listed in there as mine. For me to go back to court, it will cost me and i can not afford it. These monsters always seem to win. I feel bullied, defeated and depressed. I know i need to move forward and leave these memories behind, but I'm stuck feeling bitter. I wish i did not feel this way.
Sending you some good luck ☘️☘️☘️
Kwiet, I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s a lot of stress. You ultimate goal is to have your freedom, power and most importantly inner peace. You need to set your boundaries, do not engage with him unless necessary. Don’t respond. Non communication is very effective. Always keep your head up and lean on the Lord, especially now. He knows your story... Get in his will because he has the best plan for you. Pray for strength, guidance and clarity. God is your best resource!!! Watch all of Dr C videos, also Dr Ramini on RUclips is also excellent. Also for spiritual guidance I strongly recommend Dr Charles Stanley, he is amazing. His videos are also on RUclips. I wish you peace and happiness!!!
Let it go. Be YOU because you are enough. He took more of you than he deserved. He is not entitled to more. Be free!
Mine just flat out refused to pay half of the marital debt and my attorney said he’s never had anyone say that. I have more debt but I bought for him without thinking about it when we were married and he happily took everything and then acted as if he has no money but I found he spent over $50k on his fish aquarium he he two years we were married all
While he told me he was broke and he paid his bills late. Insane.... I’m just glad to be done with him.
Please look up Pastor R.C.Blakes on YT....he will help you spiritually..emotionally...n just a clear understanding of yourself as what you need as a woman and a Queen to recover while still goin thru the madness...All my best to you🙏🏼
These type of Narcissist are very successful with high levels of expertise in their profession. Consequently, often they are in positions of power and their true core is overlooked.
Trump.........
@@vernonharley : he is a narc sociopath - his niece was telling ppl on a yt video about her uncle.
When you realize there is zero capability of them ever changing it is an easy button moment or key to just move on and love someone better for you
Thanks Dr. C. If I may add a few characteristics of malignant narcs. They may do their malignant acts in a sneaky way. They have no courage and can't face their victims because of their fears and insecurities. They would cross the line from nuisance to criminal in a heartbeat. The worst type of coward is a sneak. It depends on the circumstances of course, but it means be wary and keep your narc radar tuned.
You are so accurate. Coward is a correct term. Dr. C
They are totally CONTEMPTUOUS and CONDESCENDING. They most certainly love to Gaslight ! Your videos Sir , are INVALUABLE !!!
The best thing a narcissist can do is just live on an island by themselves.
Its especially difficult if you're own family member has this personality disorder. Especially when you realize that emotions and love is completely transactional. If you feel trapped use resources such as Dr. Carter to help you grow and get away. It only feels unmanageable because you are made to feel inferior, but your here because deep down inside you know you're not. Much love all.
Dr.C has the best advice for dealing with these evil people-LEAVE
Don’t look back. Yes, it will be hard and painful but no person with a good heart needs to be near malignant narcissists.You can not give up your goodness and peace to them and that will be the price if you stay.
If a psychologist ever looks you in the eye and says ,"Run." you have permission to leave skid marks.
They're not being metaphorical, and they won't say it twice.
Make the right choice and jet.
Now.
What if a psychologist is sensitive to a patient who asks about his form of therapy? Dr. Carter didn't take too kindly to this question:. Narciissists in power can blame the patient: "You have delusions of grandeur." Sure. Run like hell from this guy!!
I remember a fascinating book I once read called "Operators and Things" about how to deal with narcissists at work.
I was married long ago to the regular narc, we had disconnected moments of laughter, and basic communication. It was so life sucking I left. Now I'm mixed with a malignant narc and it is obviously different. My ex would yell and throw things for sure. This current man pushes me down flights of stairs, black eyes, rages and rages. He is a god in his own eyes, always scheming and secretive. Disappears for long periods, no explanations. He is cruel in every comment. I look for an escape everyday. As seniors it isn't as easy, and there are flying monkeys all about. But yes vileness of the malignant narc is real.
I'm so sorry that you are stuck in a seriously terrible relationship with a narcissistic person. I hope you can get free. You may need to seek professional help. There are some support groups for people in domestic abuse situations. I wish you a safe exit and a brighter future
I am SO SORRY AND I AM SO FAMILIAR WITH THIS BEHAVIOR. I had to save myself and my children from this same type of Narc. He always cried victim all the while victimizing ME!! PRAYING FOR YOUR SAFETY...Please tune into Pastor R.C.Blakes and Dr Carmen Bryant...they give solid motivation and information on how to get yourself safely out of this situation. You have to find the love that God has instilled in you for the strength to move...It will come..KEEP PRAYING🙏🏼
Have you hatched an escape plan?
Please contact a domestic abuse hotline. It’s never to late to save yourself.
@@DrGoldieMD I have and have been told because we aren't in an official relationship, and no police report (since they believed his lies) I don't qualify for dv help or shelter. Police victim services say the same. But thanks for your suggestion, I've tried. He can talk his way around these cops.
I probably got my biggest lesson (about malignant narcissism) in the 90's, when I got sucked into a small group (like a cult), led by a malignant narcissist. But it took about 20 years before I understood that I had encountered a malignant narcissist.
I spent about 5 years with this extreme person, who wanted to be seen as a world changing genius, the star of stars.
This person used all the tools you can imagine, including a constant suicide threat. If we didn't do this or that, our cult leader would die. Interestingly enough, this narcissist had almost zero social skills, so there was also a constant need for pampering and special treatment.
I was one of few people who understood the narcissist (How you heard that one before?), I was one of the chosen few, the narcissist said. But as years went on, I understood (I wasn't completely brainwashed) how little I was worth, despite my efforts and my obidience. How did I get out of this? I left. Simple as that. In the end, I was to healthy and grounded to live with that hopeless maniac.
You can NEVER satisfy a person like this. If you offer a malignant narcissist a rock from Mars, you can be sure it's the wrong colour.. if you offer a gold bar, it's the wrong size.. If you bring home a luxury meal from a restaurant , the fries are made of the wrong kind of potato, and the whole day is ruined .. It's beyond maddening.
There were so many different forms of supply: severe starvation, binge eating, drinking, drama, violence, physical risks, breaking sexual boundaries, super grandiose fantasises and constant attention.
Writing this down is surreal, after all these years (I haven't seen this person in 20 years). Wow, did this really happen?
When you live with a malignant narcissist, your world is changed forever. You will never be the same. If you leave, you will look back every day. You will grieve, you will blame yourself, and if you're honest to yourself, you miss the kicks and the high points. A person like this will make you bounce between extremes. It's like a life size pinball machine that you will deeply miss, but at the same time you are lucky to be free.
Malignant narcissists are very attractive in the beginning. A malignant narcissist is like a drug.
And did the cult leader die? No. She's still alive.
In my darkest moments, I wonder if she lied about suicide - maybe it was just another tool in her mental toolbox.
💔
I have a whole group of them and I am standing up to them because this man put my life endanger by his choices. I'm standing up
Id never known a malignant narc in my life ... when I realized my boyfriend was ‘different’ in these ways, I just couldn’t believe it ... I doubted my perception
If only I’d seen this video. Thanks for making these, Dr. C!!!!
I didn’t realize so many people in my life were Narcissists until I realized that Narcissistic Abuse was my foundation level of behavior familiarity at home. I gravitated toward Narcissists because their behavior was what I already knew at home. All these years I thought such behavior was how our whole society functioned.
Great job! A couple things to add:
1. You don't leave them. They leave you. They will drag you back.
2. The "flip". What they do, cheat, drink, drugs, abuse, etc. They tell others you do. This insures no one will believe you or help you.
3. Isolate you. Friend wants them, daddy hates them, etc..
Yes to what you say here.
There are not enough words to thank you for explaining this awful behaviour. I have, or rather had(!) a friend who did the whole love bombing thing and,as a admittedly naïve person at times, put all my trust in this person and thought I’d found a new best friend. But then the poking fun at me started, and the jealousy, the competitiveness, the harsh criticism when I did something nice for someone or if I got a compliment. Then the meanness shrouded as a joke or an aside, and put downs to either belittle me in front of others or deny my education/experience on a subject matter like I was insignificant or not important (even tho she was an authority on the subject without the training or experience!). I found myself feeling nervous to be in her company and walked around on eggshells, almost to point of not wanting to talk or draw attention to myself in a group setting (around her other flying monkeys) so she wouldn’t poke mean fun at me or belittle me. I instinctively started to distance myself, and recently decided to set boundaries and grey wall when she ‘checks in’ with me to see if I’m doing or something she could benefit from. Yet she hides work information from me (we work in the same field) or opportunities. (By the way, I always shared jobs or opportunities to her but now have stopped feeding the monster!) I’m still recovering from this experience and navigating it is still a minefield but I already feel lighter and brighter, my life feels like my own again. Before I met her I was generally a well liked, humorous, kind, go-lucky kinda person but with her in my life it started to feel like the opposite, like a looming dark cloud over me all the time. Now I see clearly and I’m coming back to myself. I’ve been doing my research and of all the readings and videos I’ve watched this video described my lived experience. So thank you for so clearly and succinctly helping me steer out of this nightmare.
Keep learning! And thanks for including me on your journey. Dr. C
So glad you have validated this particular definition through crediting others work and of course, your knowledge. My understanding is it includes a extra sadistic element venturing into to voyeurism of watching, observing the damage done. Its been my experience that the indicators were there immediately. Thanks Dr. C.
In my experience also sadism is a significant factor
Why doesn't HR recognize the signs of a narcissistic boss? So many coworkers have left due to her gas lighting, manipulation etc and complaints fall on deaf ears with HR. What kind of training does an HR rep have? Narcissistic bosses destroy careers and HR does nothing.
I totally agree. I went to my boss, her boss, HR, my doctor, WCB, my union, my professional licensing board, labor relations officer....nothing. The anti-bullying policy was a waste of paper. I was exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally from trying to fight the good fight so others wouldn't be subjected to what I and others had been through. But I think the filth flows from the top down. I ended up moving on to a better and respectful organization.
HR is not your friend--it exists to protect the organization from employees and potential lawsuits. The narcissist boss will lie to HR and use them to skewer you. Your best bet is to leave. You will exhaust yourself fighting the unfairness and they will paint you as a troublemaker. Find an organization that is structured more fairly or better yet, work for yourself if you can.
I gave my 2 weeks notice. I feel better already.
@@dorianaaronson9602 Good! All the best going forward.
This describes my mother, two of her three sisters, their father, his mother, a cousin and two nephews. I believe personality disorders are mostly inherited since they manifest similarly around the world and usually begin showing when people are very young. After all, the brain is an organ...
mine too and my mom had 9 brothers and sisters. seems to be the women who are sick in her family. possible my paternal grandmother was as well, which I suppose makes sense my dad then married one. one of my maternal cousins basically admitted her mom was too. Said she made her dad miserable until they both died from her dis-ease. The oldest sister in my mom's family moved 1000 km away from the rest of the family and seemed like she had a happy life. I don't think she was one. My mom has abused her younger sister and still does to this day, so I don't think that aunt was one either...but a few in the middle definitely were. One is known as "mean jean"!! Jean is her name and that is her nickname.
my family too - my grandma, her sister, her cousins, her mother and aunts...really scary
Being raised by narcissists also affects the brain and how it develops as well as self esteem etc, it's actually impossible to separate the two. I think we each may have an innate way of responding to trauma or stress, which will affect whether those brought up in toxic circumstances become narcs or not. I am the only non narcissist in my family of origin of five.
@@AuntyEsther You are right. The raising has a big impact. My mom (and her late brother) were the first non-narcissist at my family´s long history of narcissist. I think they had a good impact from their father (my grandpa) that was a great person and "didn´t play" the narcissist game with my gradma. I think it was him, that these children came after. And I am very thankful for such a loving and carying grandpa. So: we can break the wall!
My evil twin...
Very helpful. I guess I'll need to watch more to better understand the difference between the malignant narcissists and a narcissist with full blown ASPD.
THANKS AS ALWAYS Dr. C! ❤
This sounds just like my husband, except he is very social & outgoing. My whole family still thinks he’s my Prince Charming.
He says he’s a Christian bc he doesn’t drink alcohol. But he has a trail of heartbroken ppl in his life.
He thinks everything I say is a “jab”. Like when I told my daughter “get out of my kitchen!” While cooking, I said it to try to push his buttons & make him mad. I don’t understand what I said that is worthy of making him mad still.
But him always reminding me of my past mistakes is him “joking”
I think he just assumes I’m making jabs bc he does that.
He gaslights me. When I said I didn’t feel loved, he always listed reasons why Nobody could love me. Now he’s divorcing me bc he says I don’t trust him, when I asked what I could do to make him feel like I trust him, he told me I should stop asking what time he will be home. Then he drew me back in. Acted like he wanted to work on our marriage. Then one day he told me he has wanted a divorce for a year, that I will never change. He was only doing the stuff he did bc he’s a “man” & accused me of seducing him to trick him into not divorcing me.
It’s all these mind games. Then him making me feel like I deserve to be mistreated.
I’ve never been treated so badly in my life, & I’ve had some horrible partners. The worst part.. is he seems like he’s so wonderful. To everyone else. He’s so so charismatic & charming. But he hates me. And I don’t know why.
Does this sound like a malignant narcissist? And what caused it? His whole family is really good ppl. I mean, they hate me too. But they seem to treat their wives really well. He’s the only one who goes through the women.
Even once when his mom started crying bc her kids are so cruel to her.. he looked at her coldly. While I was in tears bc I could feel her pain.. & he told her to stop manipulating him. That she just wanted to make him feel sorry for her & it wasn’t going to work.
WOW.....we are definitely watching the Archetype of the Narcissistic play out in the world !
I live in Melbourne, Victoria ( Australia ) in servere lockdown. We are living under the rule of a malignant Narcissist, you have just described his behaviour on a grand scale. Members of my family have been listening to you for over a year as we deal with a covert narcissist, HOWEVER today you described the Premier of our state. Again WOW !!!!!! ♥️♥️♥️
interesting, California is also under heavy lock-down and their governor is apparently going power-mad. Telling people they can go to the beach but not sit and have to stand only on wet sand. Totally nonsensical. Can't believe no one has strung him up yet. If this continues, people are probably going to start stringing people up....what if it's the narcissists coming for the normal people, claiming we're the narcs, what then? I have more than enough dilaudid to kill myself if things get any worse. It's really the one comfort I have right now.
Same here in Melbourne...you can go for a walk on the beach once a day but you can’t sit down.! Dr. Carter is right our Premier WILL NOT listen to anyone or take advice. The most heartbreaking stories of what this lockdown is doing to people, do not move him, HE COULDN’T CARE LESS...!!!! If you are dealing with a narc in your life as well please do not despair, take a little bit of the love that I’m sending you, place it in your heart and keep strong. Love from Australia....♥️♥️♥️
@@marytrappett4055 just fyi, I assume you don't know this but black hearts are used by sadists & satanists. Im not in California, I live in Canada and its a mixed bag here. The bigger cities are all apparently in semi-lockdown, in the smaller towns, like where I live they're not so much. I just went into the grocery store, which has a sign saying masks are mandatory and went in without one and no one said anything. I am exempt, for a couple of reasons and I am also in the high risk category but at this point, after whats been done to me and what's going on in the world, I am definitely not afraid of dying from a virus. Id prefer something quicker but really don't care if I drop dead tomorrow or next week. It would be a blessing.
I'm in Northern California and the governor won't allow evictions except under certain circumstances. Luckily for me because I think I've got one trashing my master bedroom. He refuses to pay rent or leave . Make me ,he said . Tried to evict him in March but needed to go back to court then Covid hit. Tried to get a restraining order and was granted a temporary until the court hearing. The narc couldn't stay on topic to save himself and the judge got so mad she stopped the hearing 4 times . But in the end I wasn't granted the restraining order. He crawled back 3 weeks later and here he stays. I keep praying for help. Yesterday the bank called and if I don't come up with some money my home of 57 years will go into foreclosure. He said I don't care if you loose the house and become homeless. Malignant Narc or regular? Please, pray I save my home. I don't have anywhere to go and I'm sick .
@@sheilajac Can you tell me how to contact you ? I'll keep watch for your reply .
So true. There is no dealing with a person like that. Their campaign to ruin your life is never ending. Being related to one is even more challenging because they will play your parents like fiddles all of their lives and parents are loathe to acknowledge their demon spawn. You will not have any peace until you take any vulnerable family member with you and move far, far away.
My older sister is a Monster!! Have 2 other Malignant siblings. They were born evil but hide who they are extremely well. Please take your time getting involved with people.
I have a malignant narcissistic mom, dad, family relatives and theyre like a living hell, has so many demonic spirits that I can't be around for too long.
The humor of these people have is so disturbing that I just avoid them.
My fight or flight is always on when I'm around and I never feel at peace when I am around them
Dr Carter totally describes my 47 year old daughter. My husband and I and our 2 son's have totally stepped away from her in the last 2 years. She is still looking for ways to inflict emotional pain on all of us and tries to use vicious lies about us to others, especially mutual friends and extended family. They have all realized she is not an honest or moral person and ignore her. Now we have a description of what she really is. Thanks for the insights.
As I got well and came into awareness I fully came to understand just how vicious a malignant narcissist can be. I came back into contact with a sister that I ditched 18 months ago for my dad's funeral. He asked for me on his death bed, but she did not bother to contact me even though she had her phone in her pocket. She told this info to me after he had passed away shortly after that. Beat that. I will never be in contact with her again for any reason. I truly believe that she expected my dad to call for her and she was livid.
That's brutal.
Alan Wood I believe you totally. Mine told me how she had raged at and hit my precious dog years before. The timing of her telling was as I was holding my precious old girl on my lap awaiting arrival of vet with green dream... I'll never get over it and am left with: what else did you do, to either of my precious, precious 4 legged soul mates? No contact 10 months.
@@sheilajac mom is still alive and is a narc, one who helped train my sister!
“The end justifies the means” mentality
They are sadists. Fullstop. Run for the hills! 🏃♀️
This is exactly my life with my husband. I have been trying to find something to describe it for years! Heartbreaking. I get it now. My heart sank watching this.
He blames me. Though I know he knows I’m nothing like this. But he is like this. With so many other characteristics of other narcissist all morphed into 1.
Get out a set of rosary beads and start praying in front of him. He won’t like it. They have an aversion to holy objects. Malignant narcissism is demonic possession. I mean this literally. Evil infiltrated them from their childhood trauma. An exorcism is the only answer.
:( I hope you can get out. People will like this will do nothing but hurt you
Wow, I have so many thought swirling through my head on this subject. Sadly this sort of thing runs in my family. But on a light note, and one event that comes to mind - I remember at work one of the young middle mgmt employees said to her boss when he asked her to do a simple task for him " I did not go to XYZ university to be your secretary" LOL. (sometimes you gotta laugh). But my point in telling that story is, if you notice, some of the nicest most balanced people are the ones who help out no matter what the task at hand. And I do not mean volunteering for a project to post about it on social media. I am talking about the person who helps those who are in service roles. You know the type.. the good guy or gal who tidies the hotel room before room service comes in. The kind that ask the cleaners at work if they "need help with x" The kind of people who hold doors for everyone, not just their boss or the executive class. Those are my favorite kinds of people. :). I am so blessed that the majority of people at my employer are un-entitled and grounded.
It’s like narcissists use you to keep their killer instincts sharp.
Your videos helped save my life by restoring my sanity and reality. People this evil did not exist within my framework of the world. Thank you for your work.
I wish I knew all this 26 years ago. What a waste of my life.
Me too.
Don’t feel too bad. Some of us have wasted 60 years or more.
It’s an awakening. Don’t worry 💚
I get the feeling that he "gets off" on the emotional and psychological abuse of others; an emotional sadist that will make plans with you for the sole purpose of standing you up, for example.
They are parasites feeding off your pain in a twisted attempt to fill the emptiness within them. If they provoke distress, it proves they have power -- temporarily. Then they crave more.
Thank you Dr. Carter! ♥️ This suggests that it's a malignant covert narc I'm escaping from. Oh joy!
This video series is helping me recognise, detach and heal from my narcissistic children (son malignant, daughter covert). Thank you.
Still, I'm left wondering about my share of responsibility in developing their personality - you own 50% of your relationships, after all. And by far the greatest hurt is separation from the grandchildren.
Thank you again for this helpful, insightful series.
It's so funny how once you get to the point of knowing the signs, you can protect yourself, and there are so many narcs out there! I had a new job lined up and realised that the boss just could not ever be wrong. And constantly inserted little criticisms of other staff into the conversation. Not malignant, just better than everyone. I'm so glad I have learned to identify this, and have learned how to say no!
Well done on your situational awareness and for protecting yourself from another narc
My upstairs neighbour is one. He's fooled so many people over the past 4 years. He did not fool me, so I became his favorite target. I'm surviving since they are supposed to leave in 6 months. I've learned so much by experience and also from videos like this, on psychopaths, mythomans and narcissists. He's got all three. You can see the "evil" in his eyes, it's kind of like the light from a fire deep down.
Wow it's like you described older brother like you have known him for years. This is exactly what he is he is like I have been dealing with this for 10 years.
I like this because you're not a narcissist apologiser
I am very familiar with the malignant narcissist; A rebel without a cause. No conscience. Impervious to the pain that he causes. The entitlement is beyond my comprehension. He expects me to cater to him. Yesterday he demanded that I pick up something for him. He demanded it. I have an injured back (from him) & bending over is extremely painful for me.
You talking about these creatures, dr. Carter, is a perfect, radiological description of the one I met. He's a text book case. You've helped me so much to know, understand, and digest about this evil issue called NPD. Thank you ever
Dealing with covert:malignant narc . I was blind sided now he pressing charges on me . RUN while you can!!! I need help
Thank you. Just thank you. I have been through so much with a malignant narcissist of an elder sister who set out to control our family 10 years ago, and me in particular. She succeeded. Our family is shattered and disbanded. Two family members have died lonely and isolated, and in my mother's case, riddled with pain. However, I and my children have survived, but only just, and only by cutting off all contact with the sister two years ago.
In utter bewilderment, trying to find answers for what seemed utterly insane, when this began several years ago, I came across your RUclips videos. Time and again, yours were the ones that made the most sense and helped me the most. Clearly, you have also been to hell with a family member, have survived, and have come back strong and wise.
You have described my sister exactly in a way I have never found anyone else to do - she is indeed evil, without conscience, empathy of guilt, riddled with paranoia, but with an overriding need to dominate and control at any cost - she will literally stop at nothing - her sense of her own self- importance and entitlement all-consuming, and leading her, a lawyer, to lie, break the law and cause others in the family the most terrible pain and suffering at the end of their lives.
I do thank you from the bottom of my heart for your wisdom and ability to portray what a malignant narcissist is. I wish you all the very best.
Thank you for making this Dr Carter. The MNs are in a class of their own, there are no limits for them, let alone boundaries. People may know about narcissism in general but they'd struggle to get their heads round the actions of the MN.
Has anyone here had experience with malignant narcissist, making several attempts to get a reaction out of you? Ending up in something criminal. I had my house and car vandalized recently. All things point towards this individual. Just putting this out there for some feelers. I’m sure some people can relate to this.
I’ve slipped the hook many times, and am grateful how quickly I can see it arriving
Thank you, Dr. Carter, once again. It is because of your videos that I was able to put a name on what was going on in the environment I walked away from after 30 years. 🙏❤️🌻
Excellent. I’m dealing with one right now (a neighbor), and winning.
Knowledge is power!
Thanks again, Dr. Carter!
Knowing these things about narcissism it's very sad. Is still very hard for me to believe this if somebody can stoop so low to deliberately hurt people to gain control. My narcissist would bully me and put me in the corner. Thank you very much for enlightening me
I could never understand how he would not feel bad for the way he treated me and other people. I watched him threaten a group of women at a clinic check-in because he was an hour past his appointment time. He wanted to see the Dr. regardless of how late he was. The women were so upset and uncomfortable. They asked him to leave and then he screamed at me about how ridiculous it was and claimed that they had mistreated him! He called the head office for the clinic and proceeded to make a formal complaint. He screamed at the person taking his complaint over the phone. It was humiliating and scary to watch. He then threw his phone against the wall when the head office refused to listen. The words I would use to describe them are scary, angry, entitled and out of control. They are also highly manipulative towards others and grandiose in their views about themselves. Unfortunately, they can also be very charming, endearing and intelligent. They know how to hook people and keep them hooked. Once you have fallen into their trap you have to really work on yourself in order to break free. The key is to break free safely.
I like what you say at the end “at your first opportunity, get away from them…”.
I was lost in all this initially and had to become educated and informed, now I know what I was dealing with and absolutely no contact! Thank you for this video and reminders!
I have kids with one. I've realized it's the closest I've been to seeing the devil
ABSOLUTE GOLD DR. C. KEEP SAVING LIVES! THANK YOU.
I really love the way that you present the information on Narcissism. You have a very smooth calming therapeutic voice. I appreciate how you get right to the point on the topic at hand. Your channel is one of my favorites. I just subscribed. Thank you. ☺
Thank you for spreading awareness and inspiring us to stay away from their clutches
Your insight is powerful and I am grateful you share it