It's Complicated!! | Let's Talk About How You Should Address People in Colombia.
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- Опубликовано: 28 янв 2025
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In today's video, I'll give my best to explain something that is quite confusing to most people. Something we learned in Colombia is that they usually don't follow strict rules. No matter if it's for grammar or other things. And because they do not follow rules, it is a lot more complicated to get the hang of it.
So in this video I'll talk about the TU, USTED and VOS form.
I hope you can learn something from it!
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Our mission is to help fellow Expats and Soon-To-Be Expats, to get the information we couldn't find when we moved to Colombia.
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Sam, great insight! I was just using a very similar explanation with my husband for why we use “don” or “doña” or “señor “ or “señora” regardless of how much we see someone or familiar/formal the situation.
It is not enough to know when to use tu and usted. You must also conjugate all the verbs and modifiables in the appropriate form consistently when addressing the person.
Yes of course, it’s part of Spanish. You have to learn the conjugations.
To get the hang of Usted v. tú -- go live in Colombia for 2 years, specifically in the region where you want to aster the dialect. Yeah, that should do it.
Good video.
I would add that you can expect waitress and call center agents, and Uber or taxi drivers to address you (the client) as 'Usted' as a form of showing respect towards you.
And even between couples or close friends they use 'usted ' to keep some distance, although momentarily.
After wenty years being married into a Paisa family and countless awkward or cringey moments of using the wrong form, I find your explanation very correct and understandable. Glad you included el voseo! It’s incredibly useful in Medellin for that middle ground.
*Yo, lets bro.*
Thank you for the useful video once again!
Once again great insight... cheers!
Can you guys check in with Life With David? He hasn’t posted in a while. Hope he’s ok!
Sam, WOW! You have really touched upon an interesting subject and have made some fascinating distinctions. Antioquia and its use of these forms of address has thrown me for a loop and I'm an unusual Gringo in the sense that I have spent a lot of time in many Spanish speaking countries and have been speaking Spanish every single day in business, in public & private since 1979. Antioquia is the only place I've heard children and pets addressed as usted. It blew my mind because most of my on the ground living experience has been in the Caribbean style you mention where tu is the rule and usted is reserved for the elderly, clergy or formal situatuons. In my milieu a janitor at the courthouse would use tu when talking to a judge in the hallway. There's an unspoken rule that nobody is better than anybody else because addressing someone as tu while at the same time requiring that person to address you as usted is demeaning and nothing more than the social dominance of a superior to an inferior. Throughout much of Latin America outside the Caribbean basin servants and those of a lower rank are required to address their employers as usted yet the employers make sure to say tu in a most emphatic way so as to let them know their place. The Caribbean Latins for the most part are having none of it and I love that characteristic which I interpret as an egalitarian streak.
The usage in Medellin seems inconsistent to me too. In my conversations people will use tu one minute, then switch to usted and back to tu. This is the only place I've ever heard that. Make up your mind already. When I go to the doctor they start right out with tu, in that sharply pronounced emphatic way, and I immediately use tu to address them. My firmly entrenched Caribbean approach and US upbringing kicks right in and I let them have it with tu especially since at this stage of the game I'm older than most of them anyway. After that they'll often switch back and forth alternating with usted and tu. I love it.
I'm ready to play the game but in general I use the default usted because you can't go wrong or show disrespect. Usted can be useful if you don't want the other person to get close to you until you know them better. Sometimes people here call me "Don" which is a special kind of respect. I'm not about to address them as tu so they "know their place" so I'll always stick with usted and I can't go wrong. Usted is also good for flirting. You can communicate how a person makes you feel without being seen as inappropriately familiar. Anybody nearby listening won't raise an eyebrow if you keep it to usted.
In the television series about Pablo Emilio Escobar Gaviria "El Patron del Mal" Pablo calls his wife, brother, cousins and fellow narco murderers usted so go figure. Antioquia has it's own special sauce and after 5 years here I'm still trying to figure it out.
In Bogota they use the usted, in Tolima they use the usted, in Santander they use the usted, in the rural areas of Cundinamarca and Boyacá they still use the "su merced". Personally being from Boyacá I never use the "tú" sometimes I say "su merced".
Well it's not about being superior or or inferior, just show respect. People will ask you to be called "tú" in order to eliminate the distance or the wall that "Usted" may show, if you keep using the "Usted" it means you don't want to approach that person and may be rude (but we are free to decide who we want to approach)... There's the perfect "su Merced" in Cundinamarca and Boyacá which is respectful and absolutely friendly heehhe
@@NicholeRojas-r8i In reality, the "su merced" was always seen as a compliment, since Tunja was the capital of the viceroyalty of Nueva Granada for several years.
@@cristianloquesea es hermoso
@@NicholeRojas-r8i Sorry, I guess I didn't know how to explain, I meant that the "su merced" was and is seen as a permission, as if you were a subordinate, someone less than another person
Nice work! Thanks.
Hello Can you please tell me about any Spanish schools in Medellin and immersion home living
It's very funny because I talk to my younger brother and older sister using Usted, and only to my parents "tú"but we're absolutely close with each other.... But, outside my home I'll address everybody as " usted " and to my close friends and people of my same age or younger. As for older men, I'll always use "usted" to keep the distance, and also to every senior not only just to show respect but also to keep distance (if I use tú at the beginning it may be too friendly and may lead to misunderstanding) . PD. I'm female 😬... I'm a doctor and I usually use usted and su Merced with my patients, but if they are kids, teenagers or women of my same age or younger and they talk to me with "tú" I'll use "tú" to make them feel comfortable
Interesting, thanks for sharing
Very informative, Sam. I'll be going to Medellin soon to study Spanish and hopefully, play a lot of soccer. Is it easy to get on a team or find matches to join?
Thanks! Yes, absolutely ask in expat Facebook groups as soon as you get here. Have fun!
Can you recommend a Spanish course or teacher? I am in the states and need to learn Spanish!
Check out baselang or our favorite Spanish teacher Violeta has her online course published. socialspanish.co/onlinecourses/
Just say “Usted” for every situation and you won’t go wrong.
Sam, hey! I watched many of you and your wife's videos for a year. How do I get to the patreon page. Heading back this year.....
Hey Brett. Thanks for considering. Here is the link www.patreon.com/howtoexpat
Good travels
*No, I followed the rules from THE start to this ending with the ending debacle, to live at ease every moment of OUR life!*
*At what, look at what's happened to the U.S. border, and I'm down here 14 years, and counting...* 🤬
Ooops.. You just made it more confusing!!.. I will continue to apply the French way of tu or vous in Spanish until I am told it is not correct.
That's actually a good idea!
I am 58 and only use usted in business, while talking to someone I don't know or to my elders. You are way too polite. A younger person that refers to me as tu has to be someone that knows me very well or else, it's ghetto. I never use usted when talking to a child.