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Why men "always" come back
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- Опубликовано: 29 дек 2021
- Hey guys, so this video was actually a special request by a subscriber of mine. She asked me to do a video on why men always come back after they break up with you. She said that 95% of the men she dated always came back. So in this video I am giving you guys my top 3 reasons why a man will come back after a break up and what you should do in each scenario. Please listen carefully and like, comment, share, subscribe to my channel and turn on post notifications! Happy new year! This is my last video for 2021.
My ex and I were off and on for over 10 years. He was always the one the break it off, and then always the one to come back months later and miss me and want another chance. We both had other relationships in between while we were broken up but always came back to each other. This last time around I really had my guard up and took my time making sure he was back for the right reasons and wouldn’t hurt me again. He made it clear he loved me, wanted to marry me, have kids eventually, etc. We were back together for a year and moved in together last year in March. It was our first time ever living together and my first time living with anyone. Everything in the beginning was good. About 7 or 8 months into living with each other I could tell he started getting distant. This is what he had always done before breaking up with me in the past. Finally in January this year after weeks of asking what was wrong, is everything ok, he said he just wasn’t happy anymore. We only had been living together 10 months. I was heartbroken and still am. I don’t understand how someone can hurt someone else that they claim to love over and over again for YEARS. It hurts so much and I feel like I wasted so much time and energy on this person for nothing. I first met him when I was 20 and now I’m 31 and heartbroken and feel like I’ve taken 100 steps back.
Must be extremely hard for you dear. So much. But aren't you such a gem for facing it ? So hard to accept what actually happened but I'm sure you will heal amd blossom one day.
Honestly I delt with a man I really liked, just to find out later that he had a dynamic like this with his ex gf, it hurt like hell… to think that he never really liked me or will ever like me as much as someone he keeps going back too. Look at it from the other people’s pov, he keeps going back to you… 😔 I’m so pissed someone has that kind of hold on him, I’m mad he didn’t tell me even when I suspected it and asked, I never had a chance and he knew it. I feel like a circus poodle going out of ny way for no reason, why did u just not leave? Why u kept lingering around?
I've been through this. 12 yrs, we have a child and he even remarried and came back during his marriage. My advice- cut him off permanently. I'm now 48. I lost at least 6 yrs on this. At least you're younger but beware it will get harder if you let him take another 5 yrs of your life. Especially without kids, you're free.
Leave him
Because you LET him.
I’m so happy I found you because you’re not doing what you see on average with dating coaches here on RUclips. thank you for keep it genuine
The pleasure is all mine! And I am happy you take away so much from my content! What you said means a lot!
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to move on, I really loved her so much i can’t stop thinking about her and the memories we shared. I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail. I’m frustrated, and i don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts, but i can’t. I don’t know why I’m saying this here, but i really miss her and i wish i could get her back.
I have been in such a situation. My relationship ended about three years ago, but i could not let him go. So i had to do all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring him back. We are back together, and i must say i am enjoying every moment.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Maurice Gleti, and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Thank you for making this video I requested. I like how on top of explaining why men come back you also offer the tips about boundaries. I have been considering giving an ex bf another chance (very rare for me) and you offered some useful tips.
I am happy I could help!
Nice video! I broke up with my ex last October and he still hits me up because he wants to chat lol, he said that in his ideal world we'd get back together one day after he has worked on himself. I've met someone way better than him and am happier now, but he doesn't understand that...
Thanks for recording this! :)
Of course! I am glad I could help! Glad to hear all is well for you.
My dear I can Introduce you to the same powerful Relationships Restorer and healer who helped me got back my ex back few ago, he can manifest your ex back real quick;
He brought back my ex few days ago... He did a perfect work I'm assuring you are gonna testify of his works!!;;!
Wh'atsapp him ;;
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I can't believe am with my love again:
quick question! so this guy and I met about 4 months ago in college and we became close quickly. we ended up confessing attraction to each other but my feelings for him were a bit inconsistent. sometimes I wanted him, other times I wasn’t sure. he wanted a relationship with me for a while but I wasn’t ready so I asked if he wanted to be friends with benefits. he said yes. he was actually hurt by this but I didn’t know until way after, later on, when he told me.
he wanted to meet my parents and did things like made me breakfast in the morning after id sleep over. when I started catching feelings and realized I wanted him to be mine, I asked him if he still wanted a relationship. he told me that he’s focusing on himself, and that he wants us to be together long term, and that he wants to do it correctly, and that he wants to be the best version of himself for me, and that he wants to get to know me even more. he also said “I know you want me and I want you too, but I have to get myself together first.”
I asked if there was another girl involved, he said “no, but if I’m talking to other ppl you can’t really be upset, because I waited for you for a long time and you said no relationship.” I was upset at this, but spoke to friends and family and they told me I was the one in the wrong for getting jealous.
I found out that there’s another girl he got involved with after I asked him to be friends with benefits, and It looks like he’s getting serious with her. But what I don’t like is that he tells me all of those excuses above instead of just saying “I’m getting serious with someone else.”
I get it, because I’m the one who decided on fwb, and we didn’t make it clear if it was okay to talk to other ppl or not, but now I want him and regret not being w him earlier.
he broke it off with me nicely and I wrote him a letter expressing that I was sorry for hurting him and that I’d be there for him as a friend if he needed. he said he still loves me very much as a friend and doesn’t want to lose me.
he said the letter “almost made him cry” and he wants to talk about it in person, but hasn’t scheduled a time yet.
my guess is that our feelings happened at the wrong time. when he really wanted me, I wasn’t sure, and now that I want him, he already got further along with another girl.
if he were to come back, does that technically make me second choice? is he just keeping me on the side just in case things don’t work out with her?? because if so I don’t want that and will not accept that. what do you think?
very helpful videos btw!!
I appreciate your kind words it means a lot.
So, you def. unpacked a lot and I am grateful you feel comfortable talking to me about this. So to begin: ummmmm....I do agree w/your family as far as you not taking advantage of the moment when he wanted you. But I will say that it is good that you did not because it would have been disingenuous on your part. As far as him saying the things he said about "getting himself right" he may truly believe that is true. And he probably does need to work on himself....does he think any less of you?? No, probably not. When he wanted you and you said no, did he decide to go and get involved with another girl?? Yeah obviously he did, and is he truly serious with her?? Perhaps he is....maybe he is not, I'm not sure. He could be saying similar things to her and not officially tying himself down with her because he doesn't know up or down and can't decide if he actually wants to be with her either. Not saying he is doing that so don't get in your head too much. Though I have seen men do things like this.
Does he consider you his second option?? Mmmmmmm....in a manner of speaking possibly. But that doesn't necessarily mean you are second best by any means. He may not truly think of her as better than you. He may merely see her as being newer to him and wants to take advantage of hooking up, fwb. cute stuff etc. that doesnt mean she is better than you though.
Will he comeback?? There is a good chance he will in my opinion. Is he keeping you on the side?? Mmmmmmm....not entirely sure. Just because the level you guys were on before was fwb but he wanted more. So it's kind of hard given the fact that he didn't necessarily have you before hand and you don't have the best frame of reference to judge his behavior now vs before because you guys weren't on that level before.
But I will say this. If he is at all flirting with you, talking to you as if the 2 of you are on that level or genuinely seems to mislead you into thinking things will happen between u 2 now or in the future. Thats not a good sign, because it can mean 1 of 2 things or both. 1) He is keeping you on the side and doesn't totally love or like the girl he is with and may not even "officially" be with her so you are both being used. 2) If he is "officially" with her then he is in essence cheating on her with you by keeping this emotional string attached between the 2 of you and GOD only knows how many other women he is opening himself up to. And if he can do that to her he can certainly do it to you and other women.
NOW LOOK, I am not saying that he is doing these things. I am not sure because I don't have all of the nitty gritty details. I am merely throwing out possibilities based on the patterns and things you described. Either way like I said in the video you need to use a lot of caution basically. I hope this helps you. If I missed anything or if you need me to explain anything further let me know and I am always happy to help (:
@@therealtalkvlogs wow, thank you so much for such a thorough answer!!! unfortunately they are now serious and he posts her on her Instagram as well. we agreed to be friends but he doesn’t text me anymore and I don’t want to reach out bc I feel like I’m bothering him if I do. so I missed my opportunity. :( maybe things will change in the future but I don’t know. it hurts tho.
I understand he may never come back to me. I dont want him back because im stronger now. But still, I want to see what he may think
This is very normal and completely fine....men are this way too!
I think men get tired of there females and then come back from desperation . It’s never a compliment in my eyes tbh.
This is def. true some of the time no doubt.
Why did my ex go and follow hundreds of girls on Instagram(especially girls that he deleted when we were together) and liked their pictures only the day we broke up? I mean I understand that men have their needs and all of that but why? Because men can’t wait to be with someone ? I thought that he loved me and that he won’t do something like that immediately after 1 year being with me..
Hmmmmm....what were the circumstances of your break up?? And here is the reason why: so let me just say that we as men if we have a breakup....we tie the relationship and the breakup to our self worth at least most of us do. And he went and followed a ton of girls to see what he could get because he wants to feel like he is still "the man" and he also wants to feel like he has not lost any sense of self worth basically. It also lets him know that he is not a failure. Men see breakups as failures. The quicker he gets a rebound the less of those terrible feelings he feels and he doesn't have to go through the breakup feeling like he is a failure or that he had less self worth than when he was with you. He followed all those same girls and probably more basically as a message to all of them that he is back. Not to be mean or malicious to you necessarily but for the reasons I stated.
@@therealtalkvlogs I broke up with him because I think I’m not ready for relationship yet(and whenever we had an argument he ghosted me), I need to work on myself more.. I thought that there is possibility to get back together in the future(he was very good to me ),but when I saw that he acted like that after we just broke up ..(he gave me a silent treatment more than 2months,followed other girls,he even started drinking and going out with friends with whom he stopped hanging out while we were together because they smoke,drink.. and I didn’t like them also 😂 )I don’t think that I can be again with him after all of this hahaha
He wished me happy New year..
And yesterday he reached out to me and told me how beautiful I am on the profile picture on WhatsApp 😂😂😂
Thanks for your reply 🙏🏻😊
@@irma2367 Of course....and ahhhhhh so you basically broke up with him. Yes....what he did is what men typically do especially when broken up....what you just described. He reached out and said all of that to you recently because he cares and some small part of him may want u back
My dear I can Introduce you to the same powerful Relationships Restorer and healer who helped me got back my ex back few ago, he can manifest your ex back real quick.
He brought back my ex few days ago... He did a perfect work I'm assuring you are gonna testify of his works!!!.
Would you please consider doing a video about age difference relationships? For the longest time I would only date older men and if younger only up to 6 years younger. I have reached an age where men in my age group are mainly married or divorced and often emotionally unavailable, so I have started to consider dating younger men. I am in my 40s but look at least 10 years younger and am in great shape. I still get carded at times and am frequently approached by younger men (in their 30s and sometimes even in their 20s). I met a man this past year who is significantly younger. We have great conversations, a shared sense of humour, a physical attraction, and a connection I rarely feel. I don't approach men first and I might have made an exception for him, except for the age difference. He knows I'm older, but not how much older. I feel like it would be easier to just forget about him.
Oh wow....yeah I could certainly do one regarding this subject. I have dated girls quite a bit younger than me so I have some experience in this matter. Ill add it to my list.
@@therealtalkvlogs Thanks - looking forward to it. It's funny I always preferred older men, and now I see a plethora of advantages to dating younger men (they're in better shape, not so set in their ways, they're fun, etc...)
@@skatingcanuck9837 I will definitely lyk as soon as I upload it! and hahhaha yeah I guess so, thats good I am glad!
00.45 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣LOL
We just broke up 3 days ago and he's reason is he can't handle the ldr stress but he decided to separated and think about it in just one whole day . Isn't weird? Like I was shock since there's is no signal and he didn't even changes just that day.
It could have been someting he had thought of for a while....or he was just so uncomfortable and made a snap decsion....i have done that before.
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I can't believe am with my love again.
@@therealtalkvlogs what ever became of that? When you did that?
Update?
Great video, I needed this. Thank you.
My pleasure! I am happy I could help!
i just got out of a year relationship a month and a half ago. he says i'm the perfect girl and he loves me he just didn't want the relationship anymore. i'm so confused. :(
Its hard to say....perhaps he just wants to focus on himself. It does happen sometimes....
@@therealtalkvlogs yeah that's exactly what he told me. just hard to trust when so many guys say that but end up lying. thank you :)
we dated for 4 years and when we brokeup he started dating after one month, he said it's not a rebound because she knows that he still loves me and that she will be there for him to heal him and help him move on, and he did tell me that he still love me and he stalks me while he's with her, i asked if he didnt think it was a rebound and he said no because they had a deal that they will take care of each other.
is it possible they will continue being together ?
Wow!!!!!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! He is a flat out liar! The very fact he said "I am with her but she knows I am in love with you, and oh it's not a rebound we are going to take care of each other" is the very definition of a rebound. TRUST ME SHE IS A REBOUND 100% guaranteed. He admits to stalking you and the new girl knows it?? Its obvious beyond belief, and is it possible they could still be together?? It is possible yes, I would be willing to bet that the girl has a ton of emotionally baggage and trauma that she is using him as a crutch to lean on. They probably spill their deepest horrors to each other because they are in so much pain over things that have nothing to do with each other. It's not real love and if they like each other its not a genuine like....they could be with each other for a while it just depends on how much they need each other because they are both unwilling to handle their own baggage by themselves....
@@therealtalkvlogs well its obvious she is an anxious attacher , he also said she is moving on way too fast than he thought with him she's already getting attached to him but he's still behind,
honestly it broke my heart to see him with her already , she might be patient and actually make him fall for her in the long run (ps: she is the one who wanted the relationship first) ,
i just hope i move on because he really hurt me , thats the thing i want the most
this is so true. I find that men ALWAYS come back, especially the fuccbois.
Yupp!
This is nice!
Thank you! It means a lot
Hi...i have a question.. We brokeup..&during NoContact 5 momths..o findout he is already in a relationship..he also reacted love emoji my FB story when I upload..is there any chance that he may comeback??
Mmmmmm yeah there is always a chance....how great of a chance I am not entirely sure. It would depend on certain things. Its obvious he keeps track of you though. Men do this more often than you think
Please can you talk about how to know that he is a good man but practical things like how to make sire his actions are aligned with his words etc...
I would need a lot of details....let me ask you did his words match his actions??
Thank you
My pleasure!!!
I need help.. so i was in college and he's a few years older in my college town. 6 months of dating. i left for the summer and he broke it off because the honeymoon phase wore off and he realized some things i said in the past hurt his feelings and he bottled it up inside instead of talking to me. he still said he loves me and sees me as the women he loves. when he broke up with me he said he knows that communication and bottling up his feelings is his fault, and he wishes he could go back and fix it now but he can't. and he now needs time and thinks it's the best for us and he wouldn't of broken us up if he didn't think it was the best thing for us. i'm so confused. is he going to come back someday?
2 weeks into the breakup
Hmmmmm....I would say there is a good chance he will. I think especially when u come back to school, he may hit u up then. Its a little hard to say....what did u say that was so hurtful
@@therealtalkvlogs i was just joking around and called him stupid like we do jusy us two, but he said when i did it public one time i did kind of hurt him. and i felt so bad i apologized and told him i will never do that again! this man told his parents he wanted to marry me. he also told me that and we talked about a future together and we talked about those things together as a couple and all. like i think this guys the one and i'm getting a gut feeling he will come back. when we broke up he said his heart wasn't in it anymore due to all this hurt that blew up in his face and his lack of communication got us to this point and he wishes he could go back and fix it all. his mom and are were super close and when we broke up she told me that i need to jusy give him some time because the timing was bad but that i shouldn't ever forget that he loves me and im his first true love and he's just struggling. and that i'm the first serious girl he's ever had and he really cares about me and that he was broken hearted when he broke up with me. his momma was so sweet about it and actually shocked because she didn't know where this came from and told me how he's always talking about me being his future wife and future mom to his children. but she was also real and told me to let him go for now and if we're meant to be, he'll come back. but i feel like he's going to
@@shelby6808 Hmmmmmm....ya know this just seems odd....to me i dont understand how he could or would throw it away over something like that....either that or there is a lot more that I dont know or understand about your situation. How old is he?? Its only been a couple of weeks since the breakup right??
@@therealtalkvlogs i dmmed you under a different name on instagram. it's the whole story, and it's long. it's more than what i said
I wish that he won’t come back in my life . 😅
AWWWW
Thank you
My pleasure!