I've tended to seek independence, but also end up being a savior towards others. I know this hasn't been working and I forgot to give myself and ask "what do I want?". However it is also important in a relationship that one wants to make work, to not shift blame by asking "what can this relationship do for me?", but instead "what can I do for this relationship?". This last approach makes us more appreciative of what's being given, and yet may also include setting boundaries and stating what we want.
Homelander could learn a lot from this, I know I did... The need to feel in control and possess my partner, that's me. To feel safe, secure in my attachment, to feel everything's not falling apart. I was coping really hard. I was toxic. I was immature. What I should have done is to work on myself, not find it in others. The love and stable home my parents couldn't give, that's not my partner's responsibility, but my own. I pray to God the people I have hurt heal and move on from the pain I caused. They deserve to be treated better. Thank you.
It takes incredible courage to be so honest with yourself. Your self-awareness is inspiring. You're on a powerful path of growth and healing. Wishing you continued strength and peace.
@@EmotionalOdysey Thank you. I'm still working on myself and I have a long ways to go. I love the lessons you teach as it offers insights about how our childhood impacts our relationships and loving and accepting ourselves as solutions. I also like that the videos don't take long and gets to the point. I hope your channel grows and reaches a wider audience as I know a lot of people as kids grew up in broken families like me and wonder why we are rotten. We genuinely don't want to be broken or be bad people. It's just hard to change as it's kinda how we used to adapt growing up. I look forward to your videos and I hope you can enlighten us more.
Honestly, I think it's fair to say (it applies to everyone) that you deserve to have your needs met through someone that loves you and wants to understand you, but that you should balance it out by making sure you provide for yourself and take your self-care seriously too. I think the video is saying "don't lose yourself in the other person, develop a sense of self, because if not ironically you end up meeting their needs and never yours. and yours matter too." I imagine it's likely tougher for you because as an intp you have Fe in your stack, which is inclined to be oriented towards others. if you have abandonment issues, it's totally okay to be clingy and needy and stuff! but also, you'll feel better if you're a well-rounded person who's also capable of being psychologically independent as well. :- )
I've tended to seek independence, but also end up being a savior towards others. I know this hasn't been working and I forgot to give myself and ask "what do I want?".
However it is also important in a relationship that one wants to make work, to not shift blame by asking "what can this relationship do for me?", but instead "what can I do for this relationship?". This last approach makes us more appreciative of what's being given, and yet may also include setting boundaries and stating what we want.
Homelander could learn a lot from this, I know I did... The need to feel in control and possess my partner, that's me. To feel safe, secure in my attachment, to feel everything's not falling apart. I was coping really hard. I was toxic. I was immature.
What I should have done is to work on myself, not find it in others. The love and stable home my parents couldn't give, that's not my partner's responsibility, but my own.
I pray to God the people I have hurt heal and move on from the pain I caused. They deserve to be treated better. Thank you.
It takes incredible courage to be so honest with yourself. Your self-awareness is inspiring. You're on a powerful path of growth and healing. Wishing you continued strength and peace.
@@EmotionalOdysey Thank you. I'm still working on myself and I have a long ways to go. I love the lessons you teach as it offers insights about how our childhood impacts our relationships and loving and accepting ourselves as solutions. I also like that the videos don't take long and gets to the point.
I hope your channel grows and reaches a wider audience as I know a lot of people as kids grew up in broken families like me and wonder why we are rotten. We genuinely don't want to be broken or be bad people. It's just hard to change as it's kinda how we used to adapt growing up.
I look forward to your videos and I hope you can enlighten us more.
I'm hearing people ask for solutions, perhaps a video on self love/self parenting that you mentioned.
You are very wise.
Thank you for your support!
Solution???? Plz
Really helpful
Thank you for your support!
How can someone fulfill this needs like emotionally abandoned " I am an INTP" by the way
Honestly, I think it's fair to say (it applies to everyone) that you deserve to have your needs met through someone that loves you and wants to understand you, but that you should balance it out by making sure you provide for yourself and take your self-care seriously too. I think the video is saying "don't lose yourself in the other person, develop a sense of self, because if not ironically you end up meeting their needs and never yours. and yours matter too." I imagine it's likely tougher for you because as an intp you have Fe in your stack, which is inclined to be oriented towards others. if you have abandonment issues, it's totally okay to be clingy and needy and stuff! but also, you'll feel better if you're a well-rounded person who's also capable of being psychologically independent as well. :- )
Thank you. This was extremely helpful. What is the solution though? Reparenting?
It helps
How someone can tell so much truth about myself?😢
hah😌
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