Dated my ex for 4.5 years & still no action whatsoever on our future. He was always hesitant, worried, and distracted by other stuff (church, hobbies, etc...). I decided to end the relationship & met my current husband, who got us our wedding rings within 2 years. Don't waste your time, 3 years is long enough.
@@atbostic Don't buy into that. What do you want? If he has to sort himself out, he can outside of keeping you trapped. If you really are the one and he really wants you, he'll come back when he's better for you. You'll also be available(& not bc you waited for him!)
@atbostic he shouldn’t need to say it, actions speak louder than words, he wouldn’t waste a month, minute day or second to make sure he is in the right position for you. He should chase you down to prove he has changed, he probably wants more time to finish sewing his oats.. you deserve the best, and nothing less!
From a sister in Christ: After ALL THESE YEARS you’re still a GIRLFRIEND!? You pretend you’re ok with it, but secretly; every holiday, every birthday you’re hoping he would propose! Let me encourage you my beloved sister.... you are better than that! You are worth so much more than to be his toy or even his trophy! You were created to be loved and valued! You were not created to be a lifetime girlfriend, you are God’s MASTERPIECE (Eph. 2:10 NLT)! No, life is not just about being married, but, neither is it about allowing men to abuse your precious possession down below and string you along, playing with your emotions with no intent to make you his wife! Beautiful you’ve got to get some standards! You’re teaching every little girl you know that it’s ok to give up your body to someone who cares nothing about your future and furthermore your soul. I am praying for women all over, I can’t wait for you to love God and yourself enough to take a stand for purity of mind, body and soul. ❤️
It's a hard bitter pill to swallow. Because some women have been a girlfriend for about 6 or more years. It's a tough reality ladies. He don't want you. Mines didn't want me and I left! For good. Love yourself ladies. 💖💖
It is a tough pill to swallow to know that you’ve been with someone for a while to know that the man, never wanted to be married in the first place. But at the end of the day, you have to think about yourself!!!
I’m at this point and I was the one who did more than 6 years. Almost 8 years in November. We are now going through starting to separate and it’s been really hard. I’m trying to think that I’m thinking of myself.
Paul Hogue I’ve asked those questions plus more. He doesn’t see marriage the way I do or sees it as a “paper” AFTER saying he would marry me. So I’m not understanding how your statement has any ground. So we are suppose to wait forever? Especially after being promised and then to say, oh I don’t believe marriage is ideal period. I don’t want to just cohabitate. And before I hear, “you should’ve made it clear”. Believe me I did and he admits he knows that. So please, “educate” me. I think we know how serious a marriage is but a woman can’t even get a compromise on planning for a child as well. Lol. Women can’t wait forever unlike men, our eggs expire...hello. Just because it works both ways, doesn’t mean women deserve to get dragged along and can’t have expectations. The point is being told one thing and it never happening. Hoping & believing! I understand where this young lady is coming from because I know it feels. Moved across the state for someone and believed promises... so please. There is always more to the story then just, “he won’t marry me yet”.
Paul Hogue Okay, Paul. What right does a woman have then? Because all I see is you bashing down women wanting to marry a man she’s in love with. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t make sense to me. So 10 years later he still hasn’t decided and that’s okay? You’re saying that’s okay? Women know their worth. If I’m being defensive, I apologize. I just find this subject a little more personal because I understand how it feels. When I or any woman knows what type of woman they are and they’re only lied to. All of that is okay? And it isn’t 50/50 it should be 100/100 all the way. It’s like you’re saying a man has no responsibility in this at all.
I have been celibate for two years after breaking up with my ex.I am focus on loving myself and dating myself.I am not in a rush to be in a relationship.I am happy.
Until you're married , you're Single! A man living with you, but telling another woman, he is single, aint telling a lie, but telling "convenient truths"!! ..that is, convenient to HIM!!!
"A man who is a man of God and he is marriage minded, is not in the business of wasting your time. He is not in the business of juggling you. He is not in the business of dragging you out. He is not in the business of talking you out of your drawers....." Enough said. Thank you, Tony Gaskins for being a wellspring in the "desert'. God bless you
Amen I made it all the way through You confirm what I've learned about men. Thank you. I want to educate my grandaughters and tell my grandsons let God be your head ,let character be your currency, u r the provider and protector of your family
And just to be clear...Tony did say we should be MARRIED (WITHIN) three years. He's not saying he's proposing at three years. He's already proposed and you're planning your wedding if that's what you guys decide. And if you've got to give him an ultimatum you might as well get going. Some women I know don't understand when I say that I don't believe in ultimatums. What do I look like trying to force a man's hand. Naw Playboy...either you're marriage minded or you aren't. If you're not, you don't get options. I'm out!!! Gotta Go!!!
This was right on time! Ended it right at the 3 yr mark last year and now he wants to marry me 🤔 nah I don’t want a man who hesitated on me boy bye and this just confirms it, thanks you! God bless 🤍
I am triggered on so many levels. I wasted A LOT of time... I ignored A LOT of red flags. Happy to be single now & thankful for all the lessons I’ve learned.
This is facts. My friends always think I’m crazy when I say a man should have proposed to me by the 2 year mark and married by 3. They’re always like “Ang, you’re so young, you shouldn’t be focused on marriage.” Or “that’s unreasonable, love takes time.” fuck that, love don’t even know time. Especially when I only date men that are like 27 plus years of age. This just gave me so much reassurance that I’m not extreme. 😅
It truly is. Nothing to brag abt or be proud of bc you don’t have rights. Being a girlfriend should be temporary much like a trial run streaming services offer. It’s never that long. Make up your mind, purchase or don’t.
My generation (millennials) more and more believe marriage and monogamy is an outdated tradition and not necessary and unrealistic. I hear that from more and more men who have convinced more and more women to go along with it.
Tori YT this is so accurate and so very sad at 42 I almost bought into the nonsense of it just being a piece of paper and marriage is in the heart ❤️ I am so thankful I found Tony’s channel because I am now more committed to pleasing God then a man and now I am abstinence til marriage
Exactly and it’s very sad. I’d rather gain favor in heaven for going abt things the way God intended, rather than fit in with those who comfort themselves with their lies they tell themselves. No woman on other truly believes that “marriage isn’t everything” or doesn’t want it. Please. She’s lying to herself or a man she’s dealing with convinced her.
Your so right they view things so different and they feel they have to get on they back to test the waters B4 marriage. My niece thinks like that but ever so sad 😞
I totally agree with Mr. Gaskins, a man typically knows if he wants to marry a woman or not after meeting her if he's marriage minded. Even during this process a man should consult God for confirmation, this way he will get into position to say I do orrrrrrr I don't!
Waisted my entire 20s with this man. Bared his child and now 10 years in and no engagement, no wedding insite..I'm literary planning my escape. I'm 30 and I want more children and to be married and I cant let him take my youth
Thank you for this! Im 28 and have been in a relationship for 7/12 years; I told him I’m not wasting anymore time and he needs to move out. “You’re single until you’re married”. YES! Boy bye !
You know, in retrospect, I’ve always believed that.. but I allowed fear to convince me to settle too many times in the past. When you know, you know. God is not the author of confusion. There will be peace and confirmation.
This was right on time! Was telling someone yesterday that my ex used his close family members deaths (mom, aunt and cousin) as an excuse of no longer knowing how to date etc. After 4 1/2 years together, I found Tony Gaskins on RUclips and gave my ex the ✌🏽. I’m at PEACE with no 💔Thank you Tony!
All i got to say is FACTS BIG FACTS, I recently learned the hard way after 10 years I finally pulled the plug and said enough is enough Im out. So now im starting over regaining my independence. Lesson learned, Ill be taking this 3 year rule with me from now on , thank you Tony !👍
I have heard these excuses from men (Polygamy, the government putting us in a file and makes us pay more taxes; and marriage is just a piece of paper certificate putting the government in our business and etc....) amazes me! This is confirmation for me. Thank you 🙏 Tony
Hi Tony. Since 2 days ago I started watching videos about relationship. I was never interested before. Many years ago I had a crush on a guy and I pursued him. He was my crush, I confessed and he rejected me. I moved on the best way I could, I accepted the rejection. Then his friend came to DM me to give me an advise about men. He told me not to pursue guy, it turns men off. I felt humiliated. I thought I should go for what I want, if he didn't like me, it's okay because atleast I tried. It hurt me for many years and I never forgot that. When you gave the same advise, I understand now. Back then I was just hurt by advise that I didn't look for or prepared to understand. Both men are married now and I'm still single and never dated anyone. I'll learn to better myself and when the right man comes along, I'm ready to enjoy this journey. Thank you.
@@VoyageHER Thank you. I was hurt for many years (until a couple of days ago) and I find it hard to understand and accept. Now I do my homework and try to understand more about men and I felt healed and I'm going to be alright. And yes, the rejection was gentle too and I expected that, I just want to tell him and move on properly. I moved on from the guy (crush), but not the advice by the friend and I just avoided men after that since I don't understand men and it felt too complicated to even try.
The truth shall be told. I can admit I wasted over a decade with a guy that wasn’t marriage minded sadly ended in his death a year ago. I was definitely his trophy girlfriend he bought me lots of things. I have a new guy 8 months. Dated 3 months at the 3 month mark we wanted to be exclusive. We are working on getting married, great character, personality, ambition, we pray together, faithful, all around good guy and different from my last relationship.This video really made me think about my last relationship I should have been left I learned after his death having standards is necessary. We own a timeshare together that was the only thing left to me. All his other property left to his daughter etc. Tony delivers Amazing content Ladies Listen Good ❤️🙏🏽
Jamilla Dobson he said he’s gonna marry whoever is around after about 30/40 years later 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️ ridiculous ain’t nobody waiting around for commitment and investing in you for that long with no ring on their finger..whoever ends up with him is a good one ..not I ..no thank you I’ll pass lol
A guy that I've known a while he just turned 38 I'm 29 I asked him about marriage and how he feels about it. He said statistics shows the divorce rate has gone up. I'm like ok what does that have to do with you. He came from parents who's been together till death and he doesnt see marriage in his future. I asked him where does he see himself I'm 5 yrs hes talking about everything but marriage. I haven't seen him since.
This video was so refreshing!! I kept thinking of men who have told me marriage is a piece of paper. Those men are hurt, and are spreading hurt. Another male friend thinks marriage was or is a farce, and he is so preserved and reserved, he refused to allow women into his life. I think 3 years is too kind. But that is more than enough time!! Thank you, Tony!
3 years to long. I will give him 2 years. I'll give him the third year. If he had propose to me with a ring.💍💍 Third year as a fiance planning our wedding.💍💍
A man ain’t even got that long with me 🤣🤣🤣a year off top or maybe 18 months . Especially if you’re giving him husband benefits smh . I’ve been celibate 2 years and will definitely stay that way until marriage
I have a girl friend who been with her man for 17 years and never married no kids. He has 8 kids 8 different baby moms and bad credit and she said she don’t care about getting married cause his baggage but she knows in her heart he is her husband I’m just like 🤦🏻♀️
Tony, You are correct about the three years rule. I was in that same relationship when my ex wanted to get marry ( we was together for 3 1/2 years and he was talking about marriage and how I was wifey material all the time. I was the one that put on the breaks! all the time. I wanted to marry him as well but I couldn't ignore ALL his debts neither!! ( student loans - default, unpaid taxes for 5 yrs of more IRS issues and un paid child support) you see his age is 59 and I am 52 with good credit, that own my house with low debt to ratio with a great job that travel all over the world. He was looking for someone to take care of him and I was looking for a partner to build and grow with....so I had to let that person go!! because I felt that I was old to be raising another child when I had ready raise three of my own children already. I am looking for partner not another defendant.
Yonda Thompson i was also in that type of relationship and was foolish to dish out financially to assist but that got me nowhere I realized i was blocking his blessings and my own so i threw in the towel with a Got to Go attitude😂😂 knowledge from Tony gave me the Ammunition.
Amen to that brother! I was with someone for five years a child and no chid support..... But one thing about me is I learned to keep my legs closed and never make the same mistake again periodttttttt! Thanks for the knowledge because like you said GOD can’t bless mess🙌🏾🙌🏾
You are truly an inspiration, I am 26 years old and recently walked away from an engagement. The guy was 33years and we spent 3 years together long distance seeing each other only once per year. I am a registered nurse and no bills no kids, he works at a sorts store with one kid and so many loan payments and bills and I felt he was looking for help for a come up. I couldn't look pass his bills I walked away 3 months before the wedding. Every day I wonder if I made the right decision because he was a sweet guy and pretty loyal but the drive to be successful wasn't there and the bills just was too much.
@@shaneika_love6748 If his drive to success is not there then you and him are not compatible. Just because a guy is sweet and loyal doesn't mean he is the one for you. Sweet and loyal alone doesn't pay bills. You will find another guy who is sweet and loyal as well as ambitious. The way he was going, I feel you would end up being the bread winner, and that kinda situation would just put things off- balance because it's not natural for a woman to be taking care of a man financially. You would just end up becoming resentful and miserable. Stop spending your days dwelling on the past. You did what you felt is right for you. Finances is one of the main cause of breakups. Plus he has a kid and bad with money. So not only does he has debt, he has child support bills too? Hell naa. Let him go.
Words of wisdom...DO NOT be with a man that already has a child and u don't have any children!!! There are men out here who don't have children either because they have self control, self respect and they are waiting for marriage, I know 3 of them 2 in their mid 30's and 1 over 40...Don't short yourself u deserve to start your very own family with someone who takes having a child seriously and having real love for the woman that birthed his child! U really deserve the best for your choices thus far send them baby daddies back home 😂 u did good again ma'am 🫡 wish i hadnt got with mine 18 years ago he had 1 child and I had none but we were 20 years old 🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️....terrible terrible choice ruined my life...and they do be looking to ride your back and avoid child support by putting stuff in your name and then gonna give u babies then try to marry u after that to really ride u till u dead.. girl u dodged a bullet 😅 im just glad i didnt marry whew my assets are mine period I did that on my own! He was gonna take me for everything and make me split my own assets with him whew 😅
I’m stepping up and taking control of my life! I’m meant to be a mentor and I am soaking up as much knowledge from you as possible. I am currently 25 and LISTENING!
I totally agree, your 20's is the time to build yourself up and figure out who you are. I wish I had known this in my 20's. Getting an a education or building a business should be a priority in our youth. When you are young and single is the time to travel learn about other cultures and build a successful path. Thank you Sir Tony for sharing this message with our youth.
It’s crazy! I’m a believer .. & I swear you done had some videos that have completely have been sent by God to get me out the place I was in.. keep doing these videos.. I love listening to you cuz not only are you a man, but a man of God and that’s where I get my wisdom & your just a extra vessel for hearing whats real when I’m asking God 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 thank you so much
Tony, where were you when I needed you few yrs again? 🙈 you're a BLESSINGS to everyone ( especially women) May GOD continues to bless you with EVERYTHING you ever need.🙏🙏🙏🙏
Thank The Heavens I Stumbled Upon Mr. Gaskins 2 Weeks Ago 🛐 The Amount Of Life Jewels He's Been Dropping In These Hour Long Videos Are Not Found In College Courses(I Have 2 Degrees). Mommy and Daddy Aren't Teaching This, and These Immature Minds We Seem Top Fall For Can Never Grasp Half Of The Knowledge Being Giving. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU Lord For Making Mr Tony Gaskins Get Up Everyday To Give THIS Knowledge. I Thank Mr. Gaskins For Making Certain Content Available & I Thank The Beautiful Souls In The Comments That Give Their Insights As Well. I'm Only 25 But I've Been Through Enough To Know I NEED This And I Will Share, Because The Truth Sets Us Free 🙃
Yesterday and today's video makes me think of the song "Do it" by Toni Braxton. You got to love yourself enough to walk away. You are so worthy of more in life.😘
💯 truth message I've wasted 12 years in a relationship so this is real teaching today .Bro Tony continue to speak truth . it's being receive , God bless you abundantly Bro Tony
Tony is sugarcoating this knowledge with jokes 😂 but it still stings to hear. But I’m glad to hear it, thank you for saving me anymore wasted days, months and years.
Mine makes the excuse that it’s all government and business. Oh and that it’s just a paper. 7 years here as well but we are going separate ways because we do not want the same things. They will never marry a woman unless they want to. It’s never easy.
Is it just me or is there a pattern I’m observing, that suggests to me that a lot of the women in the comments, are leaving the man, when they have completely exhausted their relationships? Why that late??? Tony, I’m hoping you can emphasize how important the first 6-8 months are. I truly believe that the longevity of a healthy relationship depends on the foundations laid in the first 6-8 month period or may be even sooner than that. Early on, if the foundations of the relationship is laid firmly on character, values, principles and God, then nothing in this world can stand against that relationship. However if the relationship is laid on weak foundations such as chemistry, preferences, sex, money/status then unfortunately that relationship may have a lesser chance of survival in the long run. Tony, I always appreciate how brilliantly you cover all these important topics with such clarity, details, examples, and humour😆. Could you please elaborate and help us women understand how important it is to set the tone of the relationship in beginning, especially the dating period? The reason being is that I have noticed that some women deliberately strategize to be easy going in the early stages, to avoid “scarIng” the guy away, at first. But this strategy backfires most of the time 🤦♀️. It’s just my opinion that may be some of these women could have avoided the heartache and saved their sanity if only they chose to vet the guy properly rather than be easy going on the guy, during the dating period.
Lara Srinivasan such is true to the comment of taking too long to end the relationship. So often we build that relationship on Hope that things will change or he will change only to realize that the change will not come and we fall for all the Excuses that are thrown at us. Some women believe anything, we are nurturers and too caring in a relationship that God did not intended for us so therefore we end up learning the hard way😭😭😭
THIS MESSAGE WAS DEEP AND NOTHING BUT THE RAW TRUTH! YOU HEAR ME? Tony, May OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST BLESS AND PROTECT You and Your Family members IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST!!! AMEN!!!!
You’re speaking the truth, Tony! A lot of these people are doing married stuff without being married like buying a house together, starting businesses, etc. my former boss did that. She and her boyfriend bought a house together and she’s always saying oh I don’t want marriage. I’m scratching my head like okay, but you and this man bought a house.
19:45 “Oh really…” 😅😭🤣 that is me on every date and during every interaction when these men start speaking out the side of their neck. Mentally I have already exited the door lol.
Awesome, Awesome words that has a lot of wisdom planted in it. I appreciate your messages. I like your transparency...very refreshing. Keeping it real!!
Amen to all of this, Tony. Thank you for this message. It's a shame that society and even friends and family around you encourage the opposite, then try to make you think that something is wrong with you.
One of your best videos yet, Tony! In addition to the straight up common sense (especially the employer interview analogy, life span is..., single is...), your stand on God really uplifted my spirit. There were a lot of, "Amens!" here. You really helped me get back and stay on track. Thank you very much!!
You have to have a strong mind listening to you Mr Tony.....goodness gracious. It hurts so bad. I know your way of thinking is not in all men but majority. I appreciate your realness tho! Blessings to you.
Amen, boyfriend asked to marry me on the first date and kept saying it through 6 months, we are getting married. Don’t waste your life...a man knows what he wants.
TG, you are an ABSOLUTE BLESSING to us and I truly appreciate your wisdom, humor and love/faith in God. It is hard to cut soul ties, but I will!!, God will not bless mess. Thank you for walking in the destiny God has for you AND helping us to do the same thing!! Next up, I need to find for myself what God has destined me to do and get to walking in it to serve and get my bag up!! I want multiple streams like you big brother!! Keep teaching and helping us grow!! THANK YOU and WE LOVE YOU AND MISS SHERI!!! ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾😂🤣😂👍🏾👍🏾👏🏾👏🏾
![Summer Walker - Heart Of A Woman [Official Lyric Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/SFddctbZzw8/mqdefault.jpg)
“Nothing will stop a man from marrying a woman that he truly loves and wants to be his wife.” TG
Dated my ex for 4.5 years & still no action whatsoever on our future. He was always hesitant, worried, and distracted by other stuff (church, hobbies, etc...). I decided to end the relationship & met my current husband, who got us our wedding rings within 2 years. Don't waste your time, 3 years is long enough.
I’ve been doing a lot of “Gots to go “ lately 🤣😭😭😂🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️
@@atbostic Don't buy into that. What do you want? If he has to sort himself out, he can outside of keeping you trapped. If you really are the one and he really wants you, he'll come back when he's better for you. You'll also be available(& not bc you waited for him!)
Girl. Me too.
KombuchaBee thank you
@atbostic he shouldn’t need to say it, actions speak louder than words, he wouldn’t waste a month, minute day or second to make sure he is in the right position for you. He should chase you down to prove he has changed, he probably wants more time to finish sewing his oats.. you deserve the best, and nothing less!
Lmao 😅🤣
From a sister in Christ:
After ALL THESE YEARS you’re still a GIRLFRIEND!? You pretend you’re ok with it, but secretly; every holiday, every birthday you’re hoping he would propose!
Let me encourage you my beloved sister.... you are better than that! You are worth so much more than to be his toy or even his trophy! You were created to be loved and valued! You were not created to be a lifetime girlfriend, you are God’s MASTERPIECE (Eph. 2:10 NLT)! No, life is not just about being married, but, neither is it about allowing men to abuse your precious possession down below and string you along, playing with your emotions with no intent to make you his wife! Beautiful you’ve got to get some standards! You’re teaching every little girl you know that it’s ok to give up your body to someone who cares nothing about your future and furthermore your soul. I am praying for women all over, I can’t wait for you to love God and yourself enough to take a stand for purity of mind, body and soul. ❤️
❤❤❤
Beautifully said! ❤ God bless you!!
Absolutely Agree!!
AMEN 🙏
Wow. That is beautiful sister. 👏🏽👏🏽 Thank you!
It's a hard bitter pill to swallow. Because some women have been a girlfriend for about 6 or more years. It's a tough reality ladies. He don't want you. Mines didn't want me and I left! For good. Love yourself ladies. 💖💖
💜
It is a tough pill to swallow to know that you’ve been with someone for a while to know that the man, never wanted to be married in the first place. But at the end of the day, you have to think about yourself!!!
I’m at this point and I was the one who did more than 6 years. Almost 8 years in November. We are now going through starting to separate and it’s been really hard. I’m trying to think that I’m thinking of myself.
Paul Hogue I’ve asked those questions plus more. He doesn’t see marriage the way I do or sees it as a “paper” AFTER saying he would marry me. So I’m not understanding how your statement has any ground. So we are suppose to wait forever? Especially after being promised and then to say, oh I don’t believe marriage is ideal period. I don’t want to just cohabitate. And before I hear, “you should’ve made it clear”. Believe me I did and he admits he knows that. So please, “educate” me. I think we know how serious a marriage is but a woman can’t even get a compromise on planning for a child as well. Lol. Women can’t wait forever unlike men, our eggs expire...hello. Just because it works both ways, doesn’t mean women deserve to get dragged along and can’t have expectations. The point is being told one thing and it never happening. Hoping & believing! I understand where this young lady is coming from because I know it feels. Moved across the state for someone and believed promises... so please. There is always more to the story then just, “he won’t marry me yet”.
Paul Hogue Okay, Paul. What right does a woman have then? Because all I see is you bashing down women wanting to marry a man she’s in love with. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t make sense to me. So 10 years later he still hasn’t decided and that’s okay? You’re saying that’s okay? Women know their worth. If I’m being defensive, I apologize. I just find this subject a little more personal because I understand how it feels. When I or any woman knows what type of woman they are and they’re only lied to. All of that is okay? And it isn’t 50/50 it should be 100/100 all the way. It’s like you’re saying a man has no responsibility in this at all.
I have been celibate for two years after breaking up with my ex.I am focus on loving myself and dating myself.I am not in a rush to be in a relationship.I am happy.
What type of differences have you seen being celibate? Btw, kudos to you ma'am! @Shanae Glenn
I'm currently doing the same. I'm not creating any more soul ties. Waiting on God.
I am also abstinent for two years. I love the Lord. Blessings to you.
Same
Same:)
I love when he pauses and sighs and looks at the camera 😂🤣😂 We all need someone to give us that look sometimes!!
🤣
Lol 😂
Until you're married , you're Single! A man living with you, but telling another woman, he is single, aint telling a lie, but telling "convenient truths"!! ..that is, convenient to HIM!!!
Yep.
"A man who is a man of God and he is marriage minded, is not in the business of wasting your time. He is not in the business of juggling you. He is not in the business of dragging you out. He is not in the business of talking you out of your drawers....." Enough said. Thank you, Tony Gaskins for being a wellspring in the "desert'. God bless you
Amen
I made it all the way through
You confirm what I've learned about men. Thank you. I want to educate my grandaughters and tell my grandsons let God be your head ,let character be your currency, u r the provider and protector of your family
And just to be clear...Tony did say we should be MARRIED (WITHIN) three years. He's not saying he's proposing at three years. He's already proposed and you're planning your wedding if that's what you guys decide. And if you've got to give him an ultimatum you might as well get going. Some women I know don't understand when I say that I don't believe in ultimatums. What do I look like trying to force a man's hand. Naw Playboy...either you're marriage minded or you aren't. If you're not, you don't get options. I'm out!!! Gotta Go!!!
👏🏾
" Gotta go! "
Three snaps, well claps since I can't find a snap emoji lol 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Yep
🎯🎯🎯
My current fiancé asked me to be his wife less than a year of dating. I can’t do three years with no man in my 30’s, maybe two years.
This was right on time! Ended it right at the 3 yr mark last year and now he wants to marry me 🤔 nah I don’t want a man who hesitated on me boy bye and this just confirms it, thanks you! God bless 🤍
What excuses did he give you? I’m going through this. I’m not trying to be nosey lol
He would have msrried you and told people you made him do it......treating you like crap...
Go head girl!
Same happened to me 3.5 years he proposed AFTER I left him smh but it was too late
Tony is telling the truth the peace you get from living a righteous lifestyle!!
Amen
I got peace like a river.🙌🏾
Yes indeed
I am triggered on so many levels. I wasted A LOT of time... I ignored A LOT of red flags. Happy to be single now & thankful for all the lessons I’ve learned.
💜
“The power of being a wife”... that line right there yall!!
Super power✊🏽
😂 just had a man tell me that crap about the government and "the system" of marriage. He just confirmed he IS NOT my Husband! 😆
Period!!!!
Run🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
Number one excuse
A man told me that on the first date. I went home and blocked him😂😂
I just “gots to go” my ex of 4years, and met my future husband 🤗
This is facts. My friends always think I’m crazy when I say a man should have proposed to me by the 2 year mark and married by 3. They’re always like “Ang, you’re so young, you shouldn’t be focused on marriage.” Or “that’s unreasonable, love takes time.” fuck that, love don’t even know time. Especially when I only date men that are like 27 plus years of age. This just gave me so much reassurance that I’m not extreme. 😅
this is why one of my coaches always says, "being a girlfriend is a SCAM!!!"
Who Salkis Re?
Salkis Re
It truly is. Nothing to brag abt or be proud of bc you don’t have rights. Being a girlfriend should be temporary much like a trial run streaming services offer. It’s never that long. Make up your mind, purchase or don’t.
No one:
Tony: YOU'RE NOT HIS WIFE
🤣☝🏾
😂😅
My generation (millennials) more and more believe marriage and monogamy is an outdated tradition and not necessary and unrealistic. I hear that from more and more men who have convinced more and more women to go along with it.
Tori YT this is so accurate and so very sad at 42 I almost bought into the nonsense of it just being a piece of paper and marriage is in the heart ❤️ I am so thankful I found Tony’s channel because I am now more committed to pleasing God then a man and now I am abstinence til marriage
Tony speaks the truth. I finally decided I would no longer be a test dummy. Its never too late to turn your life around.
Exactly and it’s very sad. I’d rather gain favor in heaven for going abt things the way God intended, rather than fit in with those who comfort themselves with their lies they tell themselves. No woman on other truly believes that “marriage isn’t everything” or doesn’t want it. Please. She’s lying to herself or a man she’s dealing with convinced her.
Your so right they view things so different and they feel they have to get on they back to test the waters B4 marriage. My niece thinks like that but ever so sad 😞
Sharice Bryant Yep! It’s a sad day we living in.
I totally agree with Mr. Gaskins, a man typically knows if he wants to marry a woman or not after meeting her if he's marriage minded. Even during this process a man should consult God for confirmation, this way he will get into position to say I do orrrrrrr I don't!
25 years old is when the brain is fully developed (frontal cortex) so it makes sense.
Yep Kiyana me too
Really, than why some older people are with someone under 25?
Wow that's incredible
@@123-u1x8m yes lol! They love the naivete because they don't know what they don't know.
“God can’t Bless Mess.” Enough said -- point blank periooood👏👏👏
Waisted my entire 20s with this man. Bared his child and now 10 years in and no engagement, no wedding insite..I'm literary planning my escape. I'm 30 and I want more children and to be married and I cant let him take my youth
Hope you left! ❤️
I hope she had left too
@@freespirit8635 I hope she had as well
U R RIGHT SO DID U LEAVE YET ? 8/27/23
@@VirtuousWoman1143I’m guessing no
Thank you for this! Im 28 and have been in a relationship for 7/12 years; I told him I’m not wasting anymore time and he needs to move out. “You’re single until you’re married”. YES! Boy bye !
You know, in retrospect, I’ve always believed that.. but I allowed fear to convince me to settle too many times in the past. When you know, you know. God is not the author of confusion. There will be peace and confirmation.
💜
Ya
Ya
This was right on time! Was telling someone yesterday that my ex used his close family members deaths (mom, aunt and cousin) as an excuse of no longer knowing how to date etc. After 4 1/2 years together, I found Tony Gaskins on RUclips and gave my ex the ✌🏽. I’m at PEACE with no 💔Thank you Tony!
"peace is the real wealth" 🖤
T.G.
All i got to say is FACTS BIG FACTS, I recently learned the hard way after 10 years I finally pulled the plug and said enough is enough Im out. So now im starting over regaining my independence. Lesson learned, Ill be taking this 3 year rule with me from now on , thank you Tony !👍
Same here! Only mine was almost 8 years.
I have heard these excuses from men (Polygamy, the government putting us in a file and makes us pay more taxes; and marriage is just a piece of paper certificate putting the government in our business and etc....) amazes me! This is confirmation for me. Thank you 🙏 Tony
Right I hate how people say that marriage is just a piece of paper. Cause the same thing could be said about a birth certificate and money. IJS.
Sis, ME TOO!!! It’s like they are reading from the same book of fools🙄
Lifeof Lauren if you don’t say that again! So is MONEY! Yet and still, they will make no excuse to make money.
Hi Tony. Since 2 days ago I started watching videos about relationship. I was never interested before.
Many years ago I had a crush on a guy and I pursued him. He was my crush, I confessed and he rejected me. I moved on the best way I could, I accepted the rejection.
Then his friend came to DM me to give me an advise about men. He told me not to pursue guy, it turns men off. I felt humiliated. I thought I should go for what I want, if he didn't like me, it's okay because atleast I tried. It hurt me for many years and I never forgot that.
When you gave the same advise, I understand now. Back then I was just hurt by advise that I didn't look for or prepared to understand.
Both men are married now and I'm still single and never dated anyone.
I'll learn to better myself and when the right man comes along, I'm ready to enjoy this journey. Thank you.
@@VoyageHER Thank you. I was hurt for many years (until a couple of days ago) and I find it hard to understand and accept. Now I do my homework and try to understand more about men and I felt healed and I'm going to be alright. And yes, the rejection was gentle too and I expected that, I just want to tell him and move on properly.
I moved on from the guy (crush), but not the advice by the friend and I just avoided men after that since I don't understand men and it felt too complicated to even try.
The truth shall be told. I can admit I wasted over a decade with a guy that wasn’t marriage minded sadly ended in his death a year ago. I was definitely his trophy girlfriend he bought me lots of things. I have a new guy 8 months.
Dated 3 months at the 3 month mark we wanted to be exclusive. We are working on getting married, great character, personality, ambition, we pray together, faithful, all around good guy and different from my last relationship.This video really made me think about my last relationship I should have been left I learned after his death having standards is necessary. We own a timeshare together that was the only thing left to me. All his other property left to his daughter etc. Tony delivers
Amazing content Ladies Listen Good ❤️🙏🏽
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Congratulations on your new relationship
This guy I thought was on the same level as myself told me marriage is based off of a slave masters mentality. Boyyyyy was I wrong about him🤦🏽♀️
😂😂😂😂
Jamilla Dobson he said he’s gonna marry whoever is around after about 30/40 years later 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️ ridiculous ain’t nobody waiting around for commitment and investing in you for that long with no ring on their finger..whoever ends up with him is a good one ..not I ..no thank you I’ll pass lol
Jesus smh
A guy that I've known a while he just turned 38 I'm 29 I asked him about marriage and how he feels about it. He said statistics shows the divorce rate has gone up. I'm like ok what does that have to do with you. He came from parents who's been together till death and he doesnt see marriage in his future. I asked him where does he see himself I'm 5 yrs hes talking about everything but marriage. I haven't seen him since.
Yazmyne Bright I stay away from men who aren’t marriage minded. A complete waste of time. I won’t even waste my breath lol
"What is your credit score for God"...come on Tony preach!🙌🏾
So true,when I stopped fornicating my soul felt so much lighter and my head got much more clear
Yes, my head is more clear!!!
This video was so refreshing!! I kept thinking of men who have told me marriage is a piece of paper. Those men are hurt, and are spreading hurt. Another male friend thinks marriage was or is a farce, and he is so preserved and reserved, he refused to allow women into his life. I think 3 years is too kind. But that is more than enough time!! Thank you, Tony!
This needs to be shared all over...
3 years to long.
I will give him 2 years. I'll give him the third year. If he had propose to me with a ring.💍💍
Third year as a fiance planning our wedding.💍💍
that's awesome yes last year preparing
A man ain’t even got that long with me 🤣🤣🤣a year off top or maybe 18 months . Especially if you’re giving him husband benefits smh . I’ve been celibate 2 years and will definitely stay that way until marriage
That's right..that last year is you being a fiancé
I have a girl friend who been with her man for 17 years and never married no kids. He has 8 kids 8 different baby moms and bad credit and she said she don’t care about getting married cause his baggage but she knows in her heart he is her husband I’m just like 🤦🏻♀️
@@jenniferelmasry7717 Lawd. You need to send her Tony's way!
You speak the truth!!
I just blocked this no good man that's been stringing be along!!
Thanks Tony!
You got this👏🏼
@@CaramelKissez thanks so much!!
Tony,
You are correct about the three years rule. I was in that same relationship when my ex wanted to get marry ( we was together for 3 1/2 years and he was talking about marriage and how I was wifey material all the time. I was the one that put on the breaks! all the time. I wanted to marry him as well but I couldn't ignore ALL his debts neither!! ( student loans - default, unpaid taxes for 5 yrs of more IRS issues and un paid child support) you see his age is 59 and I am 52 with good credit, that own my house with low debt to ratio with a great job that travel all over the world. He was looking for someone to take care of him and I was looking for a partner to build and grow with....so I had to let that person go!! because I felt that I was old to be raising another child when I had ready raise three of my own children already. I am looking for partner not another defendant.
Reading all the facts from your post.
You definitely made the right decision.
I love your word, "defendant". Plus you could be responsible for his child support.
Yonda Thompson i was also in that type of relationship and was foolish to dish out financially to assist but that got me nowhere I realized i was blocking his blessings and my own so i threw in the towel with a Got to Go attitude😂😂 knowledge from Tony gave me the Ammunition.
Amen to that brother! I was with someone for five years a child and no chid support..... But one thing about me is I learned to keep my legs closed and never make the same mistake again periodttttttt! Thanks for the knowledge because like you said GOD can’t bless mess🙌🏾🙌🏾
You are truly an inspiration, I am 26 years old and recently walked away from an engagement. The guy was 33years and we spent 3 years together long distance seeing each other only once per year. I am a registered nurse and no bills no kids, he works at a sorts store with one kid and so many loan payments and bills and I felt he was looking for help for a come up. I couldn't look pass his bills I walked away 3 months before the wedding. Every day I wonder if I made the right decision because he was a sweet guy and pretty loyal but the drive to be successful wasn't there and the bills just was too much.
You would probably end up paying all his bills.
@@monas exactly
@@shaneika_love6748 If his drive to success is not there then you and him are not compatible. Just because a guy is sweet and loyal doesn't mean he is the one for you. Sweet and loyal alone doesn't pay bills. You will find another guy who is sweet and loyal as well as ambitious. The way he was going, I feel you would end up being the bread winner, and that kinda situation would just put things off- balance because it's not natural for a woman to be taking care of a man financially. You would just end up becoming resentful and miserable. Stop spending your days dwelling on the past. You did what you felt is right for you.
Finances is one of the main cause of breakups.
Plus he has a kid and bad with money. So not only does he has debt, he has child support bills too? Hell naa. Let him go.
Words of wisdom...DO NOT be with a man that already has a child and u don't have any children!!! There are men out here who don't have children either because they have self control, self respect and they are waiting for marriage, I know 3 of them 2 in their mid 30's and 1 over 40...Don't short yourself u deserve to start your very own family with someone who takes having a child seriously and having real love for the woman that birthed his child! U really deserve the best for your choices thus far send them baby daddies back home 😂 u did good again ma'am 🫡 wish i hadnt got with mine 18 years ago he had 1 child and I had none but we were 20 years old 🤷🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️....terrible terrible choice ruined my life...and they do be looking to ride your back and avoid child support by putting stuff in your name and then gonna give u babies then try to marry u after that to really ride u till u dead.. girl u dodged a bullet 😅 im just glad i didnt marry whew my assets are mine period I did that on my own! He was gonna take me for everything and make me split my own assets with him whew 😅
I’m stepping up and taking control of my life! I’m meant to be a mentor and I am soaking up as much knowledge from you as possible. I am currently 25 and LISTENING!
I totally agree, your 20's is the time to build yourself up and figure out who you are. I wish I had known this in my 20's. Getting an a education or building a business should be a priority in our youth. When you are young and single is the time to travel learn about other cultures and build a successful path. Thank you Sir Tony for sharing this message with our youth.
It’s crazy! I’m a believer .. & I swear you done had some videos that have completely have been sent by God to get me out the place I was in.. keep doing these videos.. I love listening to you cuz not only are you a man, but a man of God and that’s where I get my wisdom & your just a extra vessel for hearing whats real when I’m asking God 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 thank you so much
Tony you're telling the truth,a lot of women need to hear that, because a lot of women are letting men waste their time
Tony, where were you when I needed you few yrs again? 🙈 you're a BLESSINGS to everyone ( especially women) May GOD continues to bless you with EVERYTHING you ever need.🙏🙏🙏🙏
Same here Sis !! I wish I met him like 10 years ago girlllllll 😶😶😶😶👀👀😂
Thank The Heavens I Stumbled Upon Mr. Gaskins 2 Weeks Ago 🛐 The Amount Of Life Jewels He's Been Dropping In These Hour Long Videos Are Not Found In College Courses(I Have 2 Degrees). Mommy and Daddy Aren't Teaching This, and These Immature Minds We Seem Top Fall For Can Never Grasp Half Of The Knowledge Being Giving. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU Lord For Making Mr Tony Gaskins Get Up Everyday To Give THIS Knowledge. I Thank Mr. Gaskins For Making Certain Content Available & I Thank The Beautiful Souls In The Comments That Give Their Insights As Well. I'm Only 25 But I've Been Through Enough To Know I NEED This And I Will Share, Because The Truth Sets Us Free 🙃
I finally got a good pair of track shoes 💪🏾
👏🏼👏🏼
Caramel Kissez -COACH omg caramel kisses! Lol i love hearing him say your name. You be regulating that group sis ❤️
@@TheAmandaGi nice to meet ya luv🤗💜😉🙂
Yesterday and today's video makes me think of the song "Do it" by Toni Braxton. You got to love yourself enough to walk away. You are so worthy of more in life.😘
I’ll be 25 in 4 years and this information is very helpful... thank you 🙏🏽
You’re blessed because I wish I could go bck to 21. There would be so many things I would have done differently.
Miss Mary Mack Thank you 🙏🏽❤️
Tony,I love your channel.I love the jewels you drop.I introduced my mom to your channel.Every woman should watch your channel.
God bless you
💯 truth message I've wasted 12 years in a relationship so this is real teaching today .Bro Tony continue to speak truth . it's being receive , God bless you abundantly Bro Tony
😂😂😭😭😭😭 💀 💀😂😂😂 I love his rendition of the African man‼️ and the Lottery 💀‼️You are silly Tony
This truth would end ALOT of friendships but so many females need to hear this.....
Thank you Tony. I walked away from my relationship. It wasn't easy. Trying to uplift myself with God's help.
That “ooooh! gets me every time😂
Lol don’t forget when he smacks his lips lol 😂
And the eye roll..lol
I love this 😅😅😅 !! These is them facts. “Don’t argue wit me” 😂😂😂
Point, blank, periyod!!!
Caramel Kissez -COACH That’s right 😂😂😂
Tony, preach the Word and help us. The Blessed Tribe!
This message was like Food to my Soul ⚫
As always Confirmation, Confirmation, Confirmation - honorary Pastor Gaskin!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tony is sugarcoating this knowledge with jokes 😂 but it still stings to hear. But I’m glad to hear it, thank you for saving me anymore wasted days, months and years.
Yes indeed
After having a baby who's under one, dealing with a grown boy ( high school sweetheart) for 10 years off and on ...I got my track shoes!
Me too , omg ... never imagined ‼️
I'm Rolling.. Love the honesty and the humor!
36:29 my my my, 3 years later and this is exactly what Carlee Russell was doing LOL. This was so good, you've been sharing wisdom for YEARS!
The lotto ticket analogy had me howling 😂😂😂 - but talking nothing but truth again Tony!!
U ain’t never told a lie, Tony! You went innnn on the last half of this message ! 🙌🏾🙌🏾💯
Yesss thank you Tony I felt the Holy Spirit while you were speaking this message! 🙏🏻🙌🏻 Be blessed!
Blessings be upon you Tony Gaskins🙏🏽
This video was so on point! I just thank God that i walked away from the lies & excuses that i chose to stay in for years!!
You're the Father, Uncle, and brother that some of us don't have! Thank you!!!
You definitely have a gift! Thank you the empowerment & the laughs. 😂
Not “the woman with the issue of blood.” 👏🏾😂
I hollered right there 😂
On the flooooooooooor 😅🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Girl, I bout passed out...this Man is a mess, he SPEAKS NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH! He keeps the entire conversation REAL!
🤣🤣🤣 right
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I've been waiting for 7 years and his excuse is he isn't financially stable yet.
Omg! who is! Next then. Sorry!
Same.
Mine makes the excuse that it’s all government and business. Oh and that it’s just a paper. 7 years here as well but we are going separate ways because we do not want the same things. They will never marry a woman unless they want to. It’s never easy.
Girl we're 10 years in with a child and not married. I'm literally slowly pulling myself away
lol no. That tired excuse... financially stable for what? “Gotta go”
I heard that excuse toooo many times
Yessss...Tony, I don't even give em 2 years. However, I understand the rule and I agree. I just don't take it as literal as some.
Right bc men know who they want.
My rule has always been 2years and 1 day got to go!!!!
That therapist part was too hilarious 😂. Thanks for the video!
Reporting for class!
💜
Amen lol
Another awesome video from a brother who keeps it real and helping us ladies out in a mighty way. Lord bless this man abundantly!! 👍🏾
Is it just me or is there a pattern I’m observing, that suggests to me that a lot of the women in the comments, are leaving the man, when they have completely exhausted their relationships? Why that late???
Tony, I’m hoping you can emphasize how important the first 6-8 months are. I truly believe that the longevity of a healthy relationship depends on the foundations laid in the first 6-8 month period or may be even sooner than that. Early on, if the foundations of the relationship is laid firmly on character, values, principles and God, then nothing in this world can stand against that relationship. However if the relationship is laid on weak foundations such as chemistry, preferences, sex, money/status then unfortunately that relationship may have a lesser chance of survival in the long run.
Tony, I always appreciate how brilliantly you cover all these important topics with such clarity, details, examples, and humour😆. Could you please elaborate and help us women understand how important it is to set the tone of the relationship in beginning, especially the dating period?
The reason being is that I have noticed that some women deliberately strategize to be easy going in the early stages, to avoid “scarIng” the guy away, at first. But this strategy backfires most of the time 🤦♀️. It’s just my opinion that may be some of these women could have avoided the heartache and saved their sanity if only they chose to vet the guy properly rather than be easy going on the guy, during the dating period.
Lara Srinivasan such is true to the comment of taking too long to end the relationship. So often we build that relationship on Hope that things will change or he will change only to realize that the change will not come and we fall for all the Excuses that are thrown at us. Some women believe anything, we are nurturers and too caring in a relationship that God did not intended for us so therefore we end up learning the hard way😭😭😭
THIS MESSAGE WAS DEEP AND NOTHING BUT THE RAW TRUTH! YOU HEAR ME?
Tony, May OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST BLESS AND PROTECT You and Your Family members IN THE MIGHTY NAME OF JESUS CHRIST!!! AMEN!!!!
I love the woman's impersonation Tony gives.
"God does not bless mess" 👏👏👏 thank you for speaking like a true man of God.
You’re speaking the truth, Tony! A lot of these people are doing married stuff without being married like buying a house together, starting businesses, etc. my former boss did that. She and her boyfriend bought a house together and she’s always saying oh I don’t want marriage. I’m scratching my head like okay, but you and this man bought a house.
19:45 “Oh really…” 😅😭🤣 that is me on every date and during every interaction when these men start speaking out the side of their neck. Mentally I have already exited the door lol.
TG Went straight in w/this one. No intro, straight fire. BAM BAM BAM.
Thank you Tony! You’ve made me laugh and cry-reflect and re-evaluate all in an hour. “Gotta Go”
Awesome, Awesome words that has a lot of wisdom planted in it. I appreciate your messages. I like your transparency...very refreshing. Keeping it real!!
MAKE IT PLAIN BROTHER! MAKE IT PLAIN! 🙏🏽❤️
Amen to all of this, Tony. Thank you for this message. It's a shame that society and even friends and family around you encourage the opposite, then try to make you think that something is wrong with you.
One of your best videos yet, Tony! In addition to the straight up common sense (especially the employer interview analogy, life span is..., single is...), your stand on God really uplifted my spirit. There were a lot of, "Amens!" here. You really helped me get back and stay on track. Thank you very much!!
Preach!!!! Ladies stop wasting time....tmrw is not promised.
That peace is the best peace !
You have me crying laughing with every video! I’ve learned so much from you. Thank you 🙏🏾
The therapist voice, I'm done.🤣 Another perfect video filled with gems. Thanks Tony!
You have to have a strong mind listening to you Mr Tony.....goodness gracious. It hurts so bad. I know your way of thinking is not in all men but majority. I appreciate your realness tho! Blessings to you.
Thanks for giving us the rules and the blueprint! I wish I knew this about ten years ago, but it’s still a blessing! 💯🙏🏾
Thank you Tony, I really needed this. You have no clue how you're blessing me with your videos. God Bless you and your family.💜💜💜
Amen, boyfriend asked to marry me on the first date and kept saying it through 6 months, we are getting married. Don’t waste your life...a man knows what he wants.
Don't say you lost your soul cause you're still here and now you're being a blessing. Thank you.
I would like to say thank you Tony for truth. God know how to put the right people in our path. God bless😊
TG, you are an ABSOLUTE BLESSING to us and I truly appreciate your wisdom, humor and love/faith in God. It is hard to cut soul ties, but I will!!, God will not bless mess. Thank you for walking in the destiny God has for you AND helping us to do the same thing!! Next up, I need to find for myself what God has destined me to do and get to walking in it to serve and get my bag up!! I want multiple streams like you big brother!! Keep teaching and helping us grow!! THANK YOU and WE LOVE YOU AND MISS SHERI!!! ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾😂🤣😂👍🏾👍🏾👏🏾👏🏾