I was a lot nicer when I was younger,.. and it never resulted in reward or appreciation,.. it only lead to me being taken advantage of. I still do care about the needs and feelings of others,.. but I'm no longer willing to self sacrifice or over extend myself. I've learned to set boundaries and assert myself,.. openly and honestly express my wants/ needs and expectations,... even if it is met with disapproval from others. I haven't become selfish,.. just way less selfless than I used to be,.. achieving this level of self respect lead to gaining more respect from others,.. I'm no longer the doormat being walked all over.
This is so me. Always trying to fix other problems for them and walking on eggshells so i can be liked by others. I'm always referred to as the "Nice Guy" I'm a people pleaser and its hard to break this cycle. I feel all I need to do is become an Asshole to ppl and ppl will eventually respect me
I’ve heard this trope get thrown around a lot to describe certain types of guys, but I’ve also heard that it’s not uncommon for certain guys who did not have good role models, or grew up in a household with abuse - emotional, psychological, not just physical - and it can lead them to become people pleasers as a survival tactic thanks to the years of abuse during those formative childhood years… do you think there might be also a strong correlation between the two that victims of such abuse and neglect could find themselves falling into nice guy/girl behavior?
Oh no! I think I may be a "nice girl"! I fit like half of these descriptions😲 I thought these symptoms were part of my struggle with overcoming codependent behaviors, but maybe something different I should look into. Your thoughts?
@@TheGrowthMarriage that makes sense. Codependent people definitely look to others for approval and find it easier to "help" others fix problems than to look at their own stuff. It's a tough way to live until you identify what's going on and can work on it when you notice the old feelings and reactions creeping in.
Wow, it's amazing how we've gotten to the point where being a nice guy is seen as a bad thing. I've seen a lot of videos where women say they'd always pick a bad boy over a nice guy even though she's probably had experience where the bad boy has cheated on her, treated her like crap and possibly abused her. It's really funny that I'll see a ton of videos like this where it exposes how nice guys are horrible people but the bad boy gets the pass because he looks good and rides a motorcycle. Sorry but I've seen too many bad boys destroy a woman's life including my first wife and even if it means being alone, I'd rather remain being nice rather than sink to the level of being an abusive jerk.
lol 😂 I thought I was nice but honestly I separate being kind vs deepening relationships. If anyone wants to get close or earning trust from me is you earn. I do not give what people do not deserve. I dealt with guys who do gossip and talk about other people. And I’m just not interested in that kind of crap, I got better ways to spend my time and better people to hang out with that Don’t do that kind of shit. I used to think that how I am now is I’m a selfish asshole, but I’m not thinking that way. I’m thinking, I am a man with value and if you want to be a part of that value, I just ask that you respect me and appreciate me. I do not ask really anything in return if you want to do something nice and I don’t expect anyone else to do anything nice when I do something for someone. I do it simply because I want to and that’s all there is to it, be your own person and be your own man. I just don’t think a nice guy is a real man, I think he is a scared little girl, that thinks way highly of himself and should care more about his own opinion of himself than other people’s opinions.
My ex would say the same thing. She left me for the bad boy who abused her in all ways including physically and not only did he cheat on her, after they were married he got two women pregnant. He didn't work a job and made her pay for everything. He was an alcoholic and drug addict. He not only hit on my ex's two younger sisters but went so far as suggesting threesomes. When my ex finally got pregnant for the first time at about 40, he did what he always did which was to run out, leaving her middle-aged and with an infant. Guess who got a call after she learned he died from a heart attack to see if he was still single. So yes, I can see the appeal of the bad boy over the nice guy. One will cheat on you and abuse you, the other won't. One is responsible and takes care of you and the other won't. Wait, why do you women pick the bad boy over the nice guy?
Really good video ! I'll wait for more. The principal characteristic I share with nice guys is the trade of niceness/ behaviour for sex or affection. I know that's bad but since I see all the aspects of the life as an exchange+ I've always been directly rewarded for my actions that's what I expect in love. Ps: Jesus tbh I have most of the characteristics, specially the last ones
Ohhh gawd 😱🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ there's an actual thing about this dudes freaking behavior. I was wondering how the f is someone who is so insecure actually a narcissist? Wow. Just....ugh. ew.
I was a lot nicer when I was younger,.. and it never resulted in reward or appreciation,.. it only lead to me being taken advantage of. I still do care about the needs and feelings of others,.. but I'm no longer willing to self sacrifice or over extend myself. I've learned to set boundaries and assert myself,.. openly and honestly express my wants/ needs and expectations,... even if it is met with disapproval from others. I haven't become selfish,.. just way less selfless than I used to be,.. achieving this level of self respect lead to gaining more respect from others,.. I'm no longer the doormat being walked all over.
This is so me. Always trying to fix other problems for them and walking on eggshells so i can be liked by others. I'm always referred to as the "Nice Guy" I'm a people pleaser and its hard to break this cycle. I feel all I need to do is become an Asshole to ppl and ppl will eventually respect me
Looking forward to some quick tips how to overcome this tendencies.:) NIce girl :P
I've got some good vids coming...
I’ve heard this trope get thrown around a lot to describe certain types of guys, but I’ve also heard that it’s not uncommon for certain guys who did not have good role models, or grew up in a household with abuse - emotional, psychological, not just physical - and it can lead them to become people pleasers as a survival tactic thanks to the years of abuse during those formative childhood years… do you think there might be also a strong correlation between the two that victims of such abuse and neglect could find themselves falling into nice guy/girl behavior?
Oh no! I think I may be a "nice girl"! I fit like half of these descriptions😲 I thought these symptoms were part of my struggle with overcoming codependent behaviors, but maybe something different I should look into. Your thoughts?
It's just a different name for a similar problem. There's a lot of overlap between codependence and "nice guy/girl syndrome."
@@TheGrowthMarriage that makes sense. Codependent people definitely look to others for approval and find it easier to "help" others fix problems than to look at their own stuff. It's a tough way to live until you identify what's going on and can work on it when you notice the old feelings and reactions creeping in.
Gy
You don’t get what you want because you are a pushover! Nobody likes a pushover or doormat!
Wow, it's amazing how we've gotten to the point where being a nice guy is seen as a bad thing. I've seen a lot of videos where women say they'd always pick a bad boy over a nice guy even though she's probably had experience where the bad boy has cheated on her, treated her like crap and possibly abused her. It's really funny that I'll see a ton of videos like this where it exposes how nice guys are horrible people but the bad boy gets the pass because he looks good and rides a motorcycle. Sorry but I've seen too many bad boys destroy a woman's life including my first wife and even if it means being alone, I'd rather remain being nice rather than sink to the level of being an abusive jerk.
Yeah. Serial killers have a better rep than nice guys these days.
Whats the name of the movie wear guy wears the shirt future is female
lol 😂 I thought I was nice but honestly I separate being kind vs deepening relationships. If anyone wants to get close or earning trust from me is you earn. I do not give what people do not deserve. I dealt with guys who do gossip and talk about other people. And I’m just not interested in that kind of crap, I got better ways to spend my time and better people to hang out with that Don’t do that kind of shit.
I used to think that how I am now is I’m a selfish asshole, but I’m not thinking that way. I’m thinking, I am a man with value and if you want to be a part of that value, I just ask that you respect me and appreciate me. I do not ask really anything in return if you want to do something nice and I don’t expect anyone else to do anything nice when I do something for someone. I do it simply because I want to and that’s all there is to it, be your own person and be your own man. I just don’t think a nice guy is a real man, I think he is a scared little girl, that thinks way highly of himself and should care more about his own opinion of himself than other people’s opinions.
Been married to Mr Nice Guy of 38 years…not something I would ever wish for anyone…
My ex would say the same thing. She left me for the bad boy who abused her in all ways including physically and not only did he cheat on her, after they were married he got two women pregnant. He didn't work a job and made her pay for everything. He was an alcoholic and drug addict. He not only hit on my ex's two younger sisters but went so far as suggesting threesomes. When my ex finally got pregnant for the first time at about 40, he did what he always did which was to run out, leaving her middle-aged and with an infant. Guess who got a call after she learned he died from a heart attack to see if he was still single.
So yes, I can see the appeal of the bad boy over the nice guy. One will cheat on you and abuse you, the other won't. One is responsible and takes care of you and the other won't. Wait, why do you women pick the bad boy over the nice guy?
So.... what's a partner to do?
I've got a whole series planned out!
It's an enormous topic. If there's interest, I'll make more videos explaining what to do about it.
Really good video ! I'll wait for more.
The principal characteristic I share with nice guys is the trade of niceness/ behaviour for sex or affection. I know that's bad but since I see all the aspects of the life as an exchange+ I've always been directly rewarded for my actions that's what I expect in love.
Ps: Jesus tbh I have most of the characteristics, specially the last ones
Dated a "nice guy" for 8 years. NEVER again.
Is the description of him accurate according to this video?
Ohhh gawd 😱🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ there's an actual thing about this dudes freaking behavior. I was wondering how the f is someone who is so insecure actually a narcissist? Wow. Just....ugh. ew.
i AM better than other people
You sound like a nice guy😂
Recovering nice guy, for sure 😂
@@TheGrowthMarriage can I ask you a question where you born nice or was it environmentally
How did you become nice where you born nice or environmental
Crap😂
This whole idea is so crap.
Yee'Up.💥💯💥