Fight or Flight Explained | There are Five Responses | The "Mama Bear" Fallacy
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- Опубликовано: 16 окт 2024
- The term "fight or flight" gets misused and abused fairly often. In this video I explain to Kristian and Jay the actual possible responses: fight, flight, posture, submit and freeze. These responses can be involuntary but with training and practices we can make strategic choices about which response to employ. Also I say a couple of REALLY unpopular things.
My first encounter with the idea of adding posture and submit to fight or flight as acute stress responses was in Lt. Col Dave Grossman's book On Killing: amzn.to/2KAlnW0
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Question for Viewers: What do you think you would do when threatened? Oh and are you coming to the livestream tonight?
6:30pm EST: ruclips.net/video/pyQvxYwtgEg/видео.html
You're right i hate that submit is the best option... But it keeps you out of the fight and jail because the cops dont like people getting leg kicked and rear naked choked lmao hahaha
Ill try make it.
@@AlexanderGent was just watching your video with rokas yesterday on weapons sparring. Love that accent.
@@hard2hurt Haha, thank you....or was that being sarcastic? 😁
Whats your thoughts on the sparring, have you seen the videos?
hard2hurt In my opinion, even if you know you can defend yourself better than average, it's best to avoid having to talk to police or lawyers if at all possible....the best streetfights are those you can avoid. Sometimes however the choice is removed, that opens a different door.
I'm from Canada so I'm sorry usually does the trick... sometimes the conflict is about who's the most sorry though.
Comment of the year goes to u brother lol 😂 funny 😆
That is amazing.
what would that conflict look like? sorry. sorry! sorry!! sorry!!! SORRY!!! *SORRY!!!*
Well then, of course, you are more sorry than me!
I'm sorry for having postured with this fake submision shit, only you are sorry here, and I am really sorry about that!
Submission in Canada:
"Ya know what, eh? I'm not that soorry."
In street submission may work but if it's self defence at a school or a work place your setting yourself up to be preyed upon again
That's a possibility. That would have to be weighed out case by case.
It helps that you are submitting AND you carry yourself like someone who’s done live training for years
Damn; where the hell do you work?? lol
Yeah but that's not what he is talking about. But I get your point.
Just got kicked out of work for a "fight" today lelelele
Avoiding the fight is a win in my book.
Agreed but submission isn't always the best way to avoid a fight.
Y'all shut up and go train
Losers book
@JiveTurkey0001 You said it perfectly!
@The Briton I see the point but i disagree
As a security guard, being submissive is a god tier tactic, it either difuses the confluct all together (less paperwork), if I have to defend myself, on camera, it looks like I was completely in the right, and you could always go for a good old rugby tackle without the aggressor expecting it. Its such a good situation, when the aggressor is posturing up cause he's just asking to be double legged. Maybe Im just lucky bit what do yall think?
Is it submission or you simply sweet talking the would be aggressor? Not exactly a fear grimace.
@@blacktigerpaw1 avoiding conflict is smart when physics isn't on your side.
@@Kennedy1op True, but neither is being totally submissive. The fear grimace comes to mind.
Verbal judo is best judo
If you double leg takedown a dude for posturing you're lucky if you don't end up in court. If it's on concrete you're luck if he doesn't die.
The three responses are actually:
1) Fight
2) Item
3) Change
4) Run
Don't forget
5) Magic
💚
Lol
Gotta Catch em all
The 3 either I'm dumb and someone is gonna say r/whoosh or there are 4 responses in this comment
In my experience, responding with, “My bad. C’mon dude, let’s all be cool, ok?” usually works really well, but that might be my delightful personality shining through. Being secure in oneself really does give you the ability to just shrug and not care what the other person thinks, which can allow you to walk away. Another good video in the bank for Hard 2 Hurt.
It's probably your personality.
What about those of us that have nasally voices and bad hygiene?
I guess we just get raped and murdered then.
Self defense is beginning to really suck.
Why people think that being a bitch and accept to say sorry when someone is doing bad things to you is right? Stop bring like this, avoiding a fight is another thing.
try living in the bronx when people try to mug you at 12 in the afternoon. today someone approached me and i ran away. a week ago i didnt and got beat up by three people
@JiveTurkey0001 That's bullshit man, an ass whooping can easily turn into lasting injuries. Broken bones, teeth, head trauma that sort of thing. It can be permanent. Not worth it if it's a guy you don't know and will never see again who just had a bad day. And you never know if they have a knife or a mate close by.
@JiveTurkey0001 don't listen to this guy, kids, sounds like an underdeveloped adult. If you can't shrug off what a stranger thinks of you, then you have no confidence in yourself and you will always be easily baited into situations outside of your control. Confidence does not mean being a hotheaded douche, it's the exact opposite: it means some bad words from a person you don't know or respect, can't shake your ego because you know who you are
I thought there were 3 responses
1. Fight
2. Flight
3. Freeze
burnt donkey there are 3 plus more.
Fight
Flight
Freeze
Feint
Faint
Fuck
@@eclipsewrecker I like that I get it
trufiend138 that’s what “feint” stands in for.
“Fuck” stands in for ‘submit’ but I think he was using ‘submit’ instead of ‘tolerate.’
eclipsewrecker so fucking wrong, there are six
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
fuck
Fight or fligt is actually about the bodys stress rensponses to a threat and there are only 3. Self defence people have taken the consept and used it in a slightly different way and added few resposnes. As a stress response there is only fight, flight or freeze but this is a littlebit different than what self defence people are talking about.
There’s verbal power in being able to diffuse a situation. That’s a true victory.
Absolutely, Cody (y) and its the one of several life saving skills vast majority of "self-defense" courses ignore.
Pen is mightier than sword
Cody Flesher no that’s being a pussy
Verbal judo was a segment in my conceal carry class along with threat awareness and conflict avoidance.
That is skill set not being taught in MMA gyms. saying it is is unless you run a MMA gym with verbal fighting. Only one or two coaches in the whole world teach it. Think about that, why people are not teaching it, you cannot make money for it because you do not need to learn it 20 years of your life. You cannot lose weight from it look cool doing fancy moves.
I know the apologetic fearful approach is often recommended, but I've only done it once that I can remember, and the situation was actually my fault. Even then it wasn't the fearful version - I had a hold of both of his wrists while calming him down.
But in other situations when I didn't want to escalate, I've always gone for a neutral response.
This gives him nothing to work with: neither aggression nor fear.
It gives him pause because I don't seem worried. You might describe the vibe I'm going for as 'professional'. Detached.
This has always worked, and suits me better than apologising to a fuckwit.
@@sinaparsi6736 Pretty much, lol.
Wow u r so badass
One of my coaches at my MMA class says there are 3 most common responses and they are Flight, Fight, and Freeze. I'm a 'Freezer'. I am learning to work through it with more sparring though but I still have a little bit of a fear of getting hit. Like I will keep coming forward at my opponent but when they hit me with a hard shot, I'm too flustered to counter or use good technique and I kind of just hold up a shitty guard for a second or two until i regain composure. The good news is that with training you can overcome your natural response type.
You will eventually get bored from that attitude. That's how I overcame my fear of getting hit, I noticed that my technique was improving a lot so I stopped worrying about "what if I get hit" and I started to focus more on "I want to hit". As soon as I switched my mentality both of my attack and defence improved a lot because I had to rely more on my reactions rather than freeze with overthinking or freeze because my mind was blank.
One of the things that helped me a lot was raising my guard and letting someone hammer away at it while I peek through, it got me mentally used to the constant pressure and my eyes flinch less now.
Another useful tactic that worked great with me is to focus my entire sparring session on a single thing, like a sparring session where you do conscious effort to stay calm after your receive a hard shot, don't think about doing sick combos, don't think about complex footwork, just keep thinking about staying calm and moving out of the way, after you get the hang of that, you then move on to focus countering after you defend and so on. These focused sessions helped me learn things faster.
Also keep practising your technique so that you get to the point where your body attacks and defends with correct mechanics without you thinking about it, that will free up a lot of "brain space" for the lack of a better term to work on noticing openings and exploiting them rather than waste time thinking about technique and other stuff.
I hope that this helps man and good luck.
Why would you want to fight at a parking lot if someone tries to come at you? The video isn't about duel sport fighting and fear of getting hit.
I'm a "shaker" when a fight presents itself - not out of fear, it's more adrenaline... But it always makes me self-concious like "whhyyy tf are you standing here shaking? Everyone's gonna be looking at you like you're a 🐈!!" and I start focusing on that more than the opponent 😔
@@Potts2k8 haha that's kinda funny. We all have our bad stats but Im sure you have some good things too.
Some coaches believe that everyone has an innate ability to fight so you might be a shaker but maybe you also have 1 shot knockout power, or maybe you are really tough and can take a lot of punishment
@@BrentCox2Byeah (without trying to toot my own horn) I can eat punches and have been bottled, jumped by 7 guys (yes that was in the one fight with a group of neds), slammed, etc and stood straight back up and continued fighting - it's that initial "oh shit, this is happening" and I'll usually throw my hands up like "sorry mate, my bad" and try to defuse - but then they see me shaking, think I'm a bitch and (being the bullies they are), push more... I would much rather avoid a fight but I'm scrappy and hard to keep down when I get going when there's no other option... I just wish I could stop the shaking - it's like the adrenaline kicks in and my body starts overcharging(?)... But boy does it make me *feel* like a bitch standing there trying to give em the stone-face whilst my legs are all a'quiver 😅
Fight got me to the hospital twice when I was a teenager, being nice and kinda give people what they want without engaging myself to much, got me out of a few situations that could've turn so bad if I fought. And I'm grateful to have made those mistakes at school where even if I got a few bruises and black eyes by bullies, I didn't get stabbed or beat to the ground by a bunch of angry adults. Consequences are not on the same scale when you're in the schoolyard as a kid and in the street as an adult.
Same, I'm grateful my few fights were in high school. Too dangerous to lose a fight as an adult. Even if you win you could go to jail. Not worth it.
You are a smart guy.
Once i saw a woman calming down a thug girl who wanted to fight with us. She ended up crying a saying how sorry she was.
That was more amazing that any fancy fight i ever saw.
Exactly. I feel the same way. I trained for years and was more amazed and impressed when I calmly talked myself out of a fight over winning one. I felt so good.
Fighting leaves a mark on my conscience.
I believe you forgot #6 . Evacuate your bowels
True. No one wants to grapple with someone that just wet themselves.
Bio warfare . Just eat some crab cakes and mushrooms with garlic. Nobody messing with that
Probably 9 times out of 10 this would stop a fight. haha. Messy, but effective.
Ah, the good ol fashioned Skunk defense. Classic.
@@Sully365 🎶Hot Pockets🎶
I worked security, fought pro level kickboxing,and work in an area with a lot of poverty and crime and i still do not have a concrete awnser as to what i would do.
its situation and time based, anyone tells you: i would.........they are lying.
refeshing video, love your videos!
Exactly. It's extremely difficult to know what your reaction would be when asked that kind of question because you can't predict what state of mind you will be in during the altercation, which is one of the most important things, and your state of mind could easily vary from one potential instance to another. Unless you are currently in that situation or perhaps have experienced it many times, you might not have any idea whether or not you are going to remain calm and act intelligently, lose your temper, be overcome with fear, start second guessing yourself etc. Also, form a tactical standpoint, the ideal response could vary heavily depending on numerous details about the situation that you may not be able to account for in a hypothetical example. The last time someone asked me something along the lines of "what would you do if a person tried to attack you on the street," my response was "that kind of question is pretty much just asking me to bullshit you."
Anytime you ever hear someone say “If that was me I would..” or anything along those lines you can pretty much rest assured they wouldn’t do anything.
I wouldnt go as far as to say they are lying, but everyones best interests is to protect themselves and loved ones right? Im sure they feel they can and would. What you should question is weather they are capable or can they act like they believe themselves to. Im sure everyone wants to protect their loved ones and believe they can. Its not a question of then lying. In all honesty thinking that someone is bluffing is not a good idea as a fighter. You believe it. Period. With that, you will always bring your A game. You dont wanna find out cause you where caught sleepin.
@@lordgargamel4124 I agree to a point, any sane person would have the intent of protecting their family etc.
However my point was aimed at those who give their action movie scenario and are convinced they can do it.
Questioning if they are capable is nonsense since violence is almost always unexpected and you are never really ready.
Also don't talk to me about bluffing about skill :) i've been a pro kickboxer for six years and dabbled some in mma.
weather or not someone is bluffing has no effect on a fighter, you go to do your job which is bring as much agression and violence in as short amount of time to their opponent.
if they are truly stong,thats a long night.
if they are weak, that a quick payday :)
Simplist way to put it is you will freeze for something you have never trained for, as in the training in your art was not realistic enough. EG. Put any cage fighter in front of a lion, he would freeze, to not move is survival, its instinct, if you run you increase the chance of predator to attack you on its own instinct to chase being triggered. A gazelle is trained to run on instinct and not freeze. So again we come to the cage fighter, if he is trained to fight a lion his whole life then he would hopefully know how to use a spear or fly away like superman.
I read about this in On Killing by Ltc. Grossman but he didn't put freeze in there. However, he did talk about the Freeze phenomenon and why it happens just not part of the fight, flight, posture, submit. I guess it is because those four are actions one can take where Freeze is the lack of action. Interestingly enough the freeze happens a whole lot more than people like to admit.
Freezer 🙋🏽♂️
I've frozen before, it was before I knew any martial art. Sometimes when stuff happens it's so unreal that your body doesnt know how to respond. That's why I think martial art training comes in because you're still going to be just as scared and you might freeze for a second but you'll eventually react. Anthony Smith recently got into a fight with a guy who broke into his home and he admitted that when he saw the guy in his living room he actually froze for a second but then knew he had to react I think it's a very natural thing that happens that people are embarrassed to admit. I don't know anything about the science behind it but maybe it goes back to our ancestors? If we came across a large animal Maybe by freezing it might leave us alone and think we are dead? Because it'll be very stupid to go out and fight a gorilla you know? Of course I don't know anything about the science behind it but it's just an idea.
Nice to see some other trainers talking and promoting the submit response. It is a high probability of successful survival and deescalation. And way cheaper than hospital or court costs.
"When a person goes white".... I got stealth mode Fight or flight blood preparation😏
Haha
Gong through school I was the smallest and skinniest kid in my class so I had no choice but to back down when bullies picked on me. But it came with a real cost to my personality as I became very shy and introverted as a result, all to avoid the confrontation. I died numerous times inside and my self esteem was terrible. Finally near the end of high school I grew in height, started lifting weights, and eventually took up martial arts. Because of my childhood experiences of having to act like a wimp I went the other way and got a job as a bouncer in a very large and rough nightclub. Later I became a police officer; all of it was trying to make amends to myself for how I grew up. My self-image improved but I had to go through numerous battles to fix the damage that being a coward had done to me. The reason I train for self defense is so I DON'T have to back down anymore. Don't underestimate the damage that acting like a coward can do to your soul.
You and i have a lot in common
What fight or flight effect really means is the physiological changes happening inside you to prepare your body to fight for your life or escape.
True that.
Tactical Defense Exactly,upon which you make the best decision you can given the circumstances.
So,you may end up with actually 2 or more responses.For example,when the adrenaline kicks in,you may "posture" first,then decide to fight or walk away.Or,you may "posture",then start to "submit",then end up fighting or walking away....etc.There are many variables at play.
Aka the video youre commenting on
@@wilfordgrimley4339 You miss the point. "Fight or flight" is just the name people have given to the changes. Nobody I know thinks there are only two ways that those changes manifest themselves. Everyone has seen people freeze. Everyone has seen people "submit".
Part of defensive training is learning how to overcome or work with those endocrine responses to make you effective when danger presents itself.
Learning how to focus, process information quickly and react with muscle memory speed from exposure and repetition.
We train in simulators with handguns to put our bodies through the reactions to danger so we can both desensitize and learn to control our thoughts through it. We use competition to learn how to control the adrenaline reaction and focus but not get tunnel vision. Hunting helps learn to control the flinch response and turn it into a constructive process like drawing, acquire a target and firing.
Even with training, I do freeze sometimes. The only solution that kinda works for me is to move. Do any slight movement but do not stand on one point. 2 3 steps and some slight hands motions usually enough to get to senses. Deer in the headlights state is a real bugger
When I was younger I went with submit, even though I had the skills and training to fight, I was always fearing the "what about tomorrow" part and I didn't have the mentality to actually fight outside of the gym.
I've worked a lot on that and today I'm a lot more confident that I'll fight if I have to. But I hope it's not something I ever have to do.
I was in a conflict with a guy who was high af in a city I wasnt from, my first response was submit because I didnt want to fight a high dude. But now I know it's a natural response.
This is amazingly true. I ride and I've lost a lot of friends to inattentive drivers. When I get cut off or someone pulls out in front of me it throws me into a bit of a rage, but I limit my self to an arm gesture and yelling in my helmet. Any time someone gestures saying sorry, it instantly takes the anger away.
That's rare tho, in my town they usually flip me off and act like I was in the wrong.
You should see my mirror collection
yeah I agree with you. Even if I´m a trained person, if I can avoid conflict and a potential fight, I´ll go with submit. Best choice
I just stumbled on your channel while looking up tactical flashlight reviews and I'm hooked. I appreciate your honesty that is divorced from any douchey (douchy - how do you spell that?) ego stuff. I also appreciate you sharing your experience from being in law enforcement. Thanks for all the information you are providing us!
Nice video, just a few comments tho...
I believe the response should be judged based on the context, as you rightly mentioned, but also on your perception. Sometimes, submitting or the impression of submitting actually empowers the 'assailant' to do more/go beyond what they initially would have.
Freezing up, to me is the worst. Had a friend who almost lost use of her hands cos she froze up, clutching her bag which was the target of the robber and got stabbed multiple times in the process. A bit macabre but....
Peace
I fully agree, being a sheep could make the aggressor even more powerful. IN my city, bullies just look for that kind of gentle people to have fun and let off steam
I used to be bullied a lot in school, stopped in high school, and the first time I was confronted with a life threatening situation, armed home invasion when I was 15, I was able to think clear and de escalate the situation while my mother completely froze and broke down. This was even after they knocked me around for a bit. I only started doing martial arts way after and I used to think it was just because I was smart or because of my personality type but thinking back, I’d wager it was from all the bullying that I wasn’t shocked at what was happening around me.
Edrich louw yikes
"posture" worked out for me once. the guy came to me i just stood tall pumped my chest a little bit i tried my best to look bigger, he stopped like a meter away from me.
After you train for a while, get use to getting hit a little bit and start competing or getting ready to compete. You kind of respond differently to bad situations, I feel you can delay it more and have more time to diffuse.
Main reason is you feel confident enough to deal with the guy if need be and run away. You still want to completely avoid the fight but you will be more calm and can prepare your self and think.
Example is the shoulder bump, had people glar at me and say something, I usually casually say sorry and walk away, before I would freeze, look say sorry and have an afraid body posture, this can make people think they can take advantage of you and make the situation worse.
When dealing with a drunk you can maintain distance and see if you can go away or if you need to do something, if via words or via contact.
I had the same thing happen to me on a few different occasions (shoulder bump). Guys doing that were testing me. I kept my cool and told them excuse me and just kept going. The danger to that is the sucker punch but thank God they let it go. Problem with staring back at them is they see it as a challenge. Problem with not staring back is giving them the sucker punch. Both times it was a house party situation.
House parties are so freaking dangerous when you're a young man.
@@damienholland8103 personally I look at their mouths. Keeps my eyes low at their hands, makes me seem less interested in the bs and can still be seen as submissive
@@madmike1708 you want to kiss them don't you
When I was in primary school there was this wanna be tough kid one year level lower than me .. easily half my height and weight who had two adult. well I did not back down to the little kid so he went home and told his brothers that I said I would kill him next day walking to school with my mum his his brothers came at me with knives I might say I think they were just posturing and we're trying to scare me but my mum sprinted at them and said you want to stab someone then stab me
Should have high fived them... In the teeth with a brick.
ur mum's a savage
@Hue Wong lolz you could've not of been more Wong about that my friend l if they wanted to hurt us they would have but she called there bluff
I like this a lot, I listened to an audiobook by an ex FBI body language specialist on how to read people (he used to catch spies) and he also talked about the fight flight or freeze. You actually added extra to what was in his book, awesome stuff! He also talked about the turning white as a real bad indicator, along with shoulders up instead of relaxed and chin down with eyes up like a lion looking for prey
Yup the chin down eyes up is a bad sign I remember guys doing that to me sometimes. Typically at bars, clubs, or house parties. Or just glaring at me. I didn't do anything wrong they just wanted to feel dominant and powerful.
He's very right about submission. It's the opposite of escalation. I've used it a lot. Fighting is a really bad option. I've also frozen. The only is question is how fast you'll break the freeze.
Wow! How refreshing to also see this type of perspective on this type of channel and this channel in particular. I've been watching this channel for a while now, intrigued, but this video got me subscribed! Respect!
When the attacker is ABOUT to fight you, you have the option of staying (defending and whatever comes) or leaving, that is, fighting or fleeing the scene.
Sometimes staying has worse results, sometimes leaving has worse results.
Videos come across my feed every once in a while glad I clicked on this one explained perfectly
Hey Icy Mike! Great vid as always! Bought one of your “Kick Street” shirts recently and I really like the material and design
Thank you so much dude that means a lot. Kick Street is one of my favorite little segments. Make sure you post a pic and tag me if you have instagram!
Humor works as well. Hard to fight when everyone is laughing.
Aight, now i gotta practice how to be sorry.
move to canada
@@neonhavok Sorry
@@TITANia69420 you forgot the "eh" at the end.
@@neonhavok ah fuck. Sorrey eh!
You got some good points. I´ve never had a flight response in my entire life. I had moments, where I felt like something is off and I want to leave a place, or I had fear of an immediate threat, but the flight was always a conscious decision!
On the other hand, it did happen to me that a bully got me cornered and I froze up in a submissive position, but when he hit me, I went berserk on him and I don´t really understand what happened. It was like watching myself attacking him. I didn´t feel pain, I lost any awareness of my surroundings and my attacks were all gross motor skills and repetitive movements. It had nothing to do with how I´d like to fight. Like Clausewitz said: no strategy survives enemy contact. Despite my less than graceful attacks, I managed to overpower my attacker, who was BTW stronger than me. The bad thing about this event was that I failed to stop hitting him after he had enough. A teacher tried to pull me away from him, but I didn´t even realise it. I didn´t understand a word of what people said to me. In hindsight that was freaking terrifying!
Compare this to the time some teens drew knives and threatened to butcher us: I froze up, heard run and thought it was a good idea...(and I made the conscious decision to run).
The ideal option would be to find a compromise between submission and posture that allows to avoid fighting without totally submit. Maybe something like befriending with the agressor. Pretty sure it starts with a smile, we should give it a try. (Still learn how to fight, just in case).
I really enjoy and appreciate how you come across to us viewers. You are all so real, no BS!!! Ty for your efforts. From Canada. 😆
I'd have to agree I've worked in mental health and corrections for a while, for some people is hard to respond and not freeze. One of the first things I tell new people is train how you want to respond my personal course of action came from a few years of wrestling and boxing so I learned to respond by subduing the individual with wrestling and using what I learned from boxing to get in to use takedowns keep in mind I wasn't allowed to strike peeps so I had to mainly subdue also picked up BJJ without the gi later on
Not what I expected based on the video title and the mentioning of submitting.
Really great submitting demo and points made.
Dude honestly what you just said was probably the most intelligent thing I've heard on a self defense channel but I can really struggle a lot with that shit. Like if I bump into someone or they bump into me I'll always apologise that's fine and I'm genuine about it, but I've had social situations where the person is just a dumb shit and I start losing my cool. I've had 2 situations where I really wanted to beat on the guys even if it was wrong and I wasn't even in any real danger and was actually hoping they'd swing so that I'd feel justified in hitting them. How do you control your temper like that?
Angel Mirchev Just like with anything else, put it into practice. It might be hard at first but just think of it as you’re being merciful on the ignorant.
I think it's very important that people understand that it's all about resolving conflict and that fighting is just 1 possible response. If you stand up to every conflict with a violent response that will be your end. For me posturing is getting up on the balls of my feet and tucking my chin in preparation of potential violence.
solid points. DE-ESCALATION ain't stressed nearly enuff by educators.
So to make it catchier, the responses are...
1. Fight
2. Flight
3. Freeze
4. (act) Fearful
5. (act like a) Fuckwit
Man of Tai Chi
Fight
Flight
Freeze
Feint
Faint
Fuck
You guys are brilliant.
@@hard2hurt yeah I come here for all this witty banter.
The one I've heard is Fight, Flight, Fawn, Freeze. Adding the fifth one might be... Frame? Like, framing the violence as a display?
@@eclipsewrecker fart
Excellent, real world advice! I’ve had a few experiences where I’ve been able to walk away from a would be aggressor.
You forgot the most powerful response: the hug
Gandhi approves
Assuming said person is ok with it not everyone likes being touched by what is presumed to be a complete stranger .
EMT here. My boys right. White (pale) means the body isnt getting enough oxygen. In the case he's talking about, is the head isn't getting enough oxygen (via lack of blood). The face getting white is from the face muscles, but this also means the brain here.
From the bulk of the video, he's right again. In fact, people usually don't know how they're gonna react in those situations. Was a Marine, in that environment deployed I was way different than I am today (took a lot of learning how to just put my pride away)
Great video as always. Keep up the great content
Thanks!!! You just won all the manpoints with this vid!
Submit, but don't let them close or grab. That doesn't usually end well.
Another "Fight or Flight" response that does happen is Faint. Everyone responds to stressful situations differently, and some people DO flat out faint. This has been a good video, and a cool channel so far. I'm glad I wound up here.
Tried your energy drink, amino energy, grape flavor . Pretty good stuff, constant energy, not and over the top caffeine buzz that makes you shakey, but enough to get you going.
One addition to your thought process here, more and more 2/3 against one attacks these days, I understand what you're communicating here, you're straight line theory to control the attack with less multiplayers at once is also a good theory, and I think is a good time to get pissed and go a little crazy.
I've also had my eye socket cracked and ear torn to the point of being unable to be stitched closed. Street scuffles suck.
Completely agree with you on the submit aspect. Although maybe neutralise or defuse is a better description? As submitting might form one aspect but rationalising could be another angle. I know this will not always work particularly if someone is off their head. However I think it should always be the number one go to option. Plus it also buys a bit time to assess the situation to make a decision on what your other options are.
You can use submit as a tactical choice to lull and lure the attacker. There is though a time when compliance is your best choice. Learn to fight so you do not have to. Martial Arts is less about fighting and more about overcoming oneself. As Jacko Willink says, "discipline equals freedom." Think about this, if you get in a bar fight with a low class loser and you catch a felony conviction you no longer get to vote or own a gun. Even ifvypu do not get a felony, a misdemeanor can lose your conceal carry permit. So is Tim from the trailor park really worth the fight???
Great points! If I can add: there are 2 dangers/pitfals with posturing and submitting:
With posturing: If you're posturing and the other guy doesn't back off, then you're kind of force to fight him (otherwise, you're just admitting to yourself and him you're full of crap, and nobody will do that). Also, if you posture too hard, especially if you push the other person, you might drive him over the edge and he'll hit you.
With submitting: If you're being too submissive, as in you appear too scared of your attacker, it can encourage him to hit you, slap you, whatever, cause he thinks you won't fight back at all. From what I've heard, it's better to submit but with neutral tone of voice or without making yourself look too scared/weak. Basically, admit you can't beat the guy, but don't make yourself look like a non threat (cause if the guy thinks he can beat you up with 0 consequences or damage taken, then he might just do that cause he's a prick).
Was out drinking with a friend and two of his friends in a parking lot of my friends apartment. Suddenly six or seven teenagers show up talking trash and one got in my face with a 38. pistol, about three feet away. Now if I ran they may have jumped me. If I fought, he might have shot me, or they may have jumped me. All I did, all I felt I could do, was look him in the eye and wait for his move. Luckily my friend knew him and tried to calm him down, while my friends friends also tried to calm everyone down. While my friends words did seem to help, at that moment a police car was seen heading our way lights n sirens on. The teens took off running, and a couple minutes later I left as well. Even years later I know I did the exact right thing. Any other action would have jump started their pack/mob mentality and I may have been seriously hurt or killed. I wasn't afraid or feeling brave. I was exactly in the moment feeling nothing and staring into his eyes.
This is one of the best videos i've seen. True life experience in self defence right here, and knowlege of the human body. I can't wait for the videos about flight and freeze.
You are the real deal! I have watched every video you have on RUclips and this one by far is my favorite. Please keep them coming.
Several vids in and I'm actually hearing nothing but honesty. Subbed.
Mine is primarily 'posture', I think. I've gotten out of sticky situations before simply by yelling, making a huge scene and coming across as much bigger and scarier than I was.
70% of your videos are really helpful!! The other 30% of your videos I’m just thinking, “see I told you! I’m glad someone else is saying it too!”
So, thanks for your videos. Great channel.
I have watched a few videos of yours....and this one being truly honest is the one that made my decision to subscribe to the channel! Great video. . ..I look forward to more!
Good statement about ego and psychology. Now I am really curious about the "freeze-video".
The natural order is Freeze, Posture, Flight, Fight if cornered or trapped, submit when or if overwhelmed. The Intelligent order is Freeze(processing time, which can be shortened through training) Submit if thats an option in a fight, Skip submit and jump to flight in an emergency like avoiding an oncoming car, Flight, Posture, Fight.
I like your take on this. One of the most important things to do in self-defense, I think, is to ask yourself: 'Is my pride worth my life?' and associate questions.
If submission can avoid me a dangerous fight (and let's not kid ourselves, all fights are dangerous, this is kinda the point), then I'm more than willing to swallow my pride.
Great video, I agree that people will hate your advice to submit.
Even for myself, I find it difficult to let my ego go. Better than getting stomped, I suppose
My background in psych and neuro made me worry about the title of your video... but my fight experience agrees with your process. In my experience, I've done a combination of those in an interaction with a villain. I lead with submit, negotiation, then fought then fleed all in a single altercation.
You are teaching to de-escalate the situation which is the correct first tactic to use. You are right about that the person could just be crazy, and that’s a different story at that point.
I learned this from the writings of (ret)Lt. Col. Dave Grossman. His books about killing are kind of eye opening on how and why we commit violence.
Someone else already posted about the book 'On Killing' by Grossman, I can also add Rory Miller 'Meditations on Violence'. Good stuff. Preach on RUclips brother!
@hard2hurt you're spot on with the "submit"-option! Heavily recommended book: "On Killing" by Col. Dave Grossman. In the animal world AND in the human world, fights between two members of the same species hardly ever end in death of one member because it makes no sense for the survival of the species! Submit however gives the second strongest male a chance to procreate on a other day.
Totally agree with you. Better say Sorry than someone going to the Hospital or worse. But if you have to fight turn your fear into anger if you can.
You are so right, Mike- after so many years I've realized that people push when they don't want to fight. :)
Great video Mike and you make some great and often overlooked points
Brutal honesty-brilliantly defined.
Good wisdom in that. I had a fighters reputation in school. Everyone always asked me what I would do if someone pulled a gun or knife on me. My answer was always the same "noone knows until it happens"
I think this has been touched upon but physiologically there's mobilisation reaction when sympathetic nervous system is highly active and that helps in fight or flight. There's parasympathetic nervous system response which creates freezing, submitting even feinting. I think depending on how stressful your nervous system judges the particular situation you're in, you get a certain level of SNS or PNS response. If the reaction isn't overwhelming, you retain a degree of control. Fear inoculation training should help etc. You may even get to your optimal functioning zone. Train, train, train.
I've had to do the "my bad, I'm sorry" submit in a public parking lot. All the alternatives likely led to bad things happening. I was very scared, hair raising on the back of my neck, and it was the first and so far only time I ever prepared to deploy a weapon in public. Very glad I didn't.
These videos you've been releasing latetly are so intersting
I like how jay's "i'ma fuck you up" face @4:05 is more like...."I'm about to load you up with every compliment in the book, and hey, I hope your family is doing well, too"!!
Thanks Mike. Really good advice. I also like to think people submit because psychologically their brain is playing a video of them going to jail or losing their job or sued or all the above. This has happened a few times with myself. ALSO sizing up your opponent. Are they bigger, are there more than one of them, in the event that they do whoop your ass do they continue to wail on you. Or worse are they carrying. I have a cwp but there are rules of engagement before you draw and an altercation such as that doesn’t give someone justification BUT you can’t tell if your opponent will play by the rules. I hate say it but submit seems like the best choice but always be ready when they take that choice away from you. Thanks again.
Submitting works better than people realize. If you're confident that you can handle your end of a fight, it's just better to let the angry guy blow off his head of steam. After that if he wants to come at you, it's on him to ramp himself up all over again and he'll be much less committed. Just speaking from my experience but I've had dudes put down their knives and bats and walk away either on friendly terms or just too deflated to start any more shit. But damn you gotta know how to read the signs. Great videos man, thank you.
This is fantastic! Honest advice on self protection
this may be one of your best. Great advice for the average person. I really liked the parts about submission and freezing so good. but then I am highly trained not a bad ass in any way. I remember one time I used submission on a guy looking for trouble simply because I had someplace I needed to be and just wanted to be on my way. But not matter what I said he kept coming and kept it up and I realized he thought he wanted to fight and had someone he could beat. At that point I just shifted my weight into a natural looking stance that was actually a fighting stance not some silly karate point fighting stance, I then stared unblinking at him and said "you Really don't want to go there" he looked at me said fuck you and turned around and left.
I was recently at a festival and this guy bumped into my girl, I gently moved him forward so he wouldn't do it again. He then proceeded to push back into her on purpose this time. I pushed him forward more stubbornly at this point and he pushed back into her again. I stared at him and tensions started really building but no punches were thrown, his men were getting him hyped up whispering in his ear so I knew it would be a fucking nasty fight if I did throw a punch. Now I have no experience fighting at all. I turned to my girl and said let's move and she's was like no, stay right here. I explained I don't want to because if I stay I'll definitely get in a fight. So I literally had to pull her away to move from the spot with me. I could hear the people around me going "pussy" "little bitch" etc. I genuinely feel like I would rather get the shit beaten out of me and go out like a fucking man than what I did. I felt like such a little bitch and my girl just looked at me like I was a soft cunt. Needless to say we're no longer together. It sticks in my mind till now, I have always been that guy who takes the L and walks but to be honest it really damages a man's self confidence. After this lockdown I'm going to learn muay thai and boxing so if anything like this ever happens again I'm going to kill that person that steps to me or gets out of line. Walking away is great but there's only so many times a man can live with getting pushed around.
this is why you dont throw a punch. You carry a knife or a gun. "They outnumbered me and my life was threatened"
that girl was mental.
I love your video's. You are saying things that seem so common sense but they probably don't occur to you until after they are said. Like a good joke that you didn't come up with but you wish you had. I agree submit is defiantly the highest percentage escape from a potentially violent encounter as an adult. Defusing a situation before it gets crazy is easier then fighting a person who is lost in a haze of rage. Thanks for making the video's.
Absolutely right; military Psychologists had identified Posture during WWII when German and American soldiers would drop their weapons and curse/throws rocks at each other. This was when in isolation they both preferred not to kill or be killed so they just “scared” each other off.
These responses are usually automatic in the absence of training. Think military, combat sports, police, etc.
These five responses are backed by research. Good on you Mike 👍🏻
Ok! You are going to piss a lot of people off And hurt some egos on this one here! However your 100% accurate.. I was hoping to find an arguable point on the ideal of 5 responses... but I got none cause this is exactly what I’ve saw, experienced and I agree completely. Well done
Really good points that needs more space in self defense conversation. If you would want to go more in depth on ego/pride and ways to practice submitting but still maintaining distance and some sort of control (the way it seemed you were doing) that would be very welcome. Really well put. Thsnk you.
Former behavioral health worker. Had to de-escalate people ALL THE TIME. Submission tactic is great but it feels more like a conditioned response than a natural response for most people, as in most people will have to actually plan to use that response or they’ll revert to one of the others like freezing.
Yeah, I totally agree. I've been in those type of situation swallowing your pride is very difficult. To be honest when I do have to swallow my pride in a violent confrontation, honestly, I do feel like physical pain in my stomach and big butterflies cuz it actually hurts and makes me more Angry having to force myself to back down. And that's what it comes down to I have to force myself and stand up to myself and back down. And that's one of the things that got me into a depression because I kept backing down from my supervisor. About 7 years ago or so and I just fell into a depression.
I think there are still 2 main options. Fight or Flight. Freezing, submitting are included in "Flight" as in you give up the fight and the posture is included in "Fight" as in you stand your ground but when it gets uglier you reassess and choose again: Fight or Flight.
Situational awareness, learning body language and deescalation techniques is important. Try like hell to avoid a threat, try like hell to avoid a fight. If absolutely have to fight try like hell to defend yourself and get away. I keep myself away from places where I'd have to use self defense in the first place. No shame in avoiding conflict. Smart to avoid places where conflict could occur.
this man bangs it out in Streetbeefs but still has the mentality to speak truth about the importance of protecting yourself, not your pride
that's wisdom. subbed
This might be your best video yet. Looks like the level after 'submit' is likely ER,, for the other guy.
I really agree. Fight or flight does happen if you get ambushed or not expecting a fight. You body goes 'oh shit' and you get an adrenaline shot. That's where your training kicks in.
Muscle memory is SO important, once you are use to fighting you do it naturally. I had a fight and the first 10 seconds was just chaos, I did not think and just did a blast double leg and dumped him. After that I calmed down and I felt in total control, so I asseted my surroundings and the situation. There were bouncers near me, he never got a punch off and he just held my head, so I got to mount and took my glasses off and basically hovered my hands in his face to show him I can smash his face or eyes if I wanted. The bouncers saw I did not WANT to fight or hurt him so he pulled me off, the guy thought he won and no one got hurt. No ego, I did not want an assault charge so I let him think he won and I declined a 'rematch' and went back in the club.
That first 10 seconds of muscle memory was KEY, it was the easiest double leg of my life. Now I do mma and Thai boxing the striking will come naturally too.
If I had no training I would freeze and the fight would get violent, probably with me getting pasted by a drunk ass hole who did not like my Halloween costume.
decent explanation of the subject. as u say,focusing more on the FLIGHT aspect in future eps is prolly the way 2 go from here,kemosabe.
second time I subscribed in an hour. love this channel, youtube doesn't. Glad I memorized your name
Old ass video in my feed, but it is true. it takes really training and thinking about it and learning to stay composed to avoid freezing and it still isn't a guarantee. You can be trained, know what to do, experience it in real situations 3 or 4 times, and freeze up all the same. its' so hard wired to stop, look, and listen. Don't lie to yourself and if your kids are involved take any route to deescalate before violence.