After the girl i was dating ended things w me, and asked to just be friends, I asked her to talk through the past 4 months, as there were some things I wanted to reflect on with her, she dismissed it. I explained why its important to me, and that if things wouldnt get cleared up, I would build up walls. If she isnt willing to reflect on the issues, I am not going to be able to be friends with her. Although both of us expressed that we did want to be friends, she didn't change her behaviour, so now we are avoiding eachother. I suppose the bigger lesson is that this method won't magically solve every problem, and it is still the other person's choice to act upon the logical consequences. Specifically verbalizing it does help me understand my own needs and limits, and it gives me more security in moving on. (Although it still really hurts ofc.)
This is very emotionally mature on your part. Have you given her a second chance after this? Have you asked her again after some time has passed if she was ready to talk about it?
I had a very similar situation, which was over a year ago. At least for my girl (and maybe with yours too) its because of her childhood, that back then her parents didnt really care for her enough, maybe they were paying attention to other things to much when they should've looked after her, maybe she didnt feel important etc.. That makes it very difficult for someone to really trust you and the (very scary) fact that you might actually stick around. Closeness, Trust and all of that feel very scary to people who have not been loved properly by their parents. This causes them to act in love just like their parebts acted on them. They will withdraw, seek the reassurance of isolation or distance (as in a friendship) and not really let you into their feelings (as we both couldnt talk to her about the relationship). Long story short: I hope you are doing okay! Hang in there buddy! My Story with this girl actually went on for 1 more year, she stuied herself and those exact interactions, as did I with my childhood. Sadly it did not work out and I couldnt be friends with her. We are broken up for 3 weeks now. What reeeaaally helped me a ton was the RUclips channel "School of life", thats where I know all of thes correlations between childhood and "weird" behaviour in adulthood. Have a great day! :)
It reminds me of a thing Jordan Peterson said that most people can't stick to a new years resolution. If it's that hard for you to stick to a change you chose yourself and actually want do then it has to be so much harder to change in a way someone external to yourself asks of you, even if you agree with it and have the best intentions. If you set your expectations realistically you'll get much less frustrated
Man I love your videos. I feel like you could make a second channel where you put on little devil horns and teach people how to ruin their lives. You have a great presence and personality.
This channel helped me get over my break up and work on myself. I really appreciate you, and I’m so glad that you make content in this platform! Keep it up, your content makes everyday better! 😁👍
Hey man, the work you do is truly what I strive for. Though I haven’t yet overcome my vices enough to get myself up onto my feet, I am well on my way, and though a lot of my wellbeing is thanks to a bunch of ancient dead people (lol), it is unbelievably refreshing to have someone only a few years older than I am as a voice of guidance. You don’t need me to say this, but your art is truly for the greater good. Cheers 🍻
One recent circumstance that comes to mind is my coworkers talking over me at work because I’m one of the youngest ones. Instead of making an ultimatum I simply retracted myself from the conversation and did not be overly friendly or agree with them. So now they let me finish before continuing. Two concepts that tie together well with this idea is that you teach people how to treat/feel about you and to never reward bad behavior
When I want to change someone's behavior, I often find that it's easier to achieve what I want by doing something differently myself rather than trying to change another person.
Once, I was talking to my ex on the phone about our relationship as we were ending things. However, she never truly listened or took the time to have that conversation properly. She was always multitasking and not genuinely listening or responding to what i say. Looking back, I wish I could slap myself for not respecting my own boundaries and for being overly nice. I believe delivering such an assertive message might have helped to have a proper conversation, but it wouldn’t change the fact that she is my ex now. But shit happens, and I’ve learned from the experience.
There is a guy at my job who is very nervious (stress eating etc.). I am new at my job and don't know all the ropes, so I do things slowly and ask a lot of questions. This guy knows this. I told him this directly, yet he still takes whatever I am doing out of my hands and does it instead of me. This leaves me feeling ashamed. Last time, I was doing the simplest task of mopping up the floor and he took the mop out of my hand after saying "What the are you doing man?" It was the end of the shift when he did that. He could've just gone home. I don't know what to do when someone like this is taking their frustration out on me. The entire shift was not busy at all, yet it felt like it was life or death situation. I know I struggle with detaching from things like this due to being abused over any transgression as a kid (expressing wants, making mistakes), but I want to know what to do in this situation. Should I just "let them"?
I mean, he is doing the job for you, and you get the money in the end of the day nervous people usually dont tend to listen whatever you say unless they calmed down, so its really delicate situation here
I guess I'd pry why he insists to do things in your stead. Is there expectation for things to be done perfect or else someone upstairs gonna scold him? Then whatever that may be, you get to know what to say to assure him that things'll be fine?
Apply the method in the video. Sit back, detach, and think of the consequences of letting those actions continue. I know you said you have trouble detaching, but being able to realize that is the biggest step. You've already completed the biggest step.
Great point. Here's what I'd say... Sometimes it's hard to think of a "logical consequence" and your example highlights this perfectly. Technically you could reason the logical consequence as being: his actions result in you feeling annoyed meaning the rapport between you decreases. But that isn't likely to be too helpful for you considering you both see each other at work most days (meaning, you're unable to just "stop hanging around" with this guy). So in this case I'd recommend you approach the elephant in the room with him in a non violent way. 1.) Label the situation when the time and place is appropriate 2.) Deliver the statement: when you (action) I feel (emotion) because I (need). Would you be willing to (request)? For example... "Hi John, now it's quiet and there's no customers, I just wanted to mention there seems to be a disagreement between us both and I'd like us to solve it. Is now a bad time to bring it up?" (Wait for the green light). "Ok, from my side, just to be as clear as possible, when I'm doing a task and you take over to do it instead, I feel ashamed because I have the need to feel competent at what I'm doing. So I was wondering if you'd be willing to define what roles are mine and yours so we don't step on each others toes?" You don't have to say that word for word, just some context. These videos are long but they'll help if you want more info: ruclips.net/video/i6-5CWHeAsM/видео.html ruclips.net/video/cFyy_tju8Hg/видео.html
Hell no, don’t let anyone do anything that makes you feel worthless, you can do that all on your own. Next time he tries to take over something you’re doing, tell him to back off, or this phrase works very well “how about you pay attention to what you’re doing, and I’ll pay attention to what I’m doing?”. Stand up for yourself, journal so you can formulate your feelings, and then speak when the next opportunity arises.
I'm loving your content. It's informative and helpful personally, but also for my psychotherapy practice. I'm enjoying your playfulness with your graphic facilitation skills, too. Very accessible and relatable. You seem like a human on a quest for self-mastery, and it is refreshing how you seem to approach the work with a genuine appreciation for levity. So, thanks for sharing yourself!
Thank-you. Explaining in such a light-hearted, playful and insightful manner makes it easy to come to terms with. It's rare to find these qualities in such realms as this - but, hey !! The entertainment value alone makes this well worth the watching ;)
Perhaps it's just the method of communication used, but I think a healthy ultimatum is one that isn't a threat, it's simply stating that you value one thing more than another and you're not going to take part in something that goes against that. If a couple disagree on the having kids question then really it's saying it's obvious one of us is going to be miserable if we stay together, which means both of us will be miserable because who wants to spend the rest of their life with someone who's miserable and resents you, the healthiest thing we can do is split up. Posing that as an ultimatum though is only unhealthy as far as it's pretending that it's the choice/fault of the other person for not feeling the same way rather than being an unresolvable mutual incompatablility you both need to accept as fact
Adorable ending! 😂Thank you so much for your videos! Often presenters shares good ideas but their tone or voice make it literally impossible to listen for a long time. You are, on the contrary, my cup of tea in every aspect! Love the humour, the presentation and of course learn so much!
When I delivered an unhealthy ultimatum to my partner, it sounded like this, "If you do not workout or get a higher paying job by the next six months, I will have checked out of this relationship." I realize a healthier alternative to this is, "When you do not achieve the goals you set, and lack to set any at all, it makes me feel reaffirmed in the doubts I have about our relationship. If you stay this way for the next six months and do not achieve body or financial goals, I will leave this relationship as it will be better for both of us."
Hi Henry! I want to say this genuinely to see if I can help you and your relationship, and for no other reason. If you find that I am wrong, go ahead and ignore this :) Respectfully, I’m not sure that your second alternative was very healthy either. In both scenarios, you made your partner feel a pressure to do the same thing in 6 months. You seemed a little strict, requiring that they achieve specific outcomes in 6 months. Change can take time, and it seems like you might be more focused on outcomes than values. As long as your partner is genuinely working on those things-which in your defense it sounds like the weren’t-the added timeline and strict expectations may cause more harm than good, hindering their ability to improve. If you are truly struggling in your relationship because your partner is unmotivated or lazy, then gentle encouragement to improve can be very effective. If you are genuinely looking for specific outcomes, you may want to be careful placing your personal expectations onto someone else. While there is nothing wrong with having strict needs in a partner-like a specific kind of body or income-it sounds like your partner may feel inadequate due to these expectations, as they may feel a sense of being unlovable without achieving this strict body or financial goals.
I'm a woman in her early 20s and it has been very difficult for me to get out of feelings of depression and anxiety. I had psychedelic experiences with DMT and mushrooms, and they helped me a lot, but in day-to-day life it has been difficult for me to sustain that kind of state of mind. I've been searching a lot on RUclips but, at least for me, all that I found to help me with my self-esteem are things like 'use more makeup, have a glow up,' and I don't think that using more makeup or having that kind of 'glow up' would help me get out of this pattern. I already tried before and it only got worse, but then I found your videos and they really helped me a lot, so I really want to thank you because now I can sleep well at night and be more present. Your work is amazing. Also, I wanted to ask if you can make a video about jealousy? What really helped me is to think about what makes me feel and why I identify with that, how that speaks about me, and that helped me, but I'm really interested in your point of view. Anyway, thank you for your kindness. ❤❤️
Can you please make a video about getting out of freeze mode...when you know what you want and have goals, but can't find the energy mentally and sometimes physically to actually persue that
Chimp throws any statement mostly those that are past stories or future projections and then why i respond to it by either agreeing to it or explaining my reason for disagreement to it . What if i don't respond to it by claiming these are just thoughts which is illusion.Then will i be out of my head nonstop meeting?
Love your videos! This is a real struggle for me- I guess in my mind, anything other than ‘doing nothing’ feels like a ‘manufactured’ consequence (no matter how ‘reasonable’ it is). And of course, in my experience any attempt to do things on your own behalf as a protective measure is framed as disproportionate or unnecessary by those seeking to exploit or do wrong by you. Do I guess I still really struggle to understand the ‘true’ or simple meaning of ‘natural’ consequence, especially as compared to an ‘unnatural’ one.
Don't have any psychological questions or requests for myself. But I'm interested in how different people are created. So I'm enjoing you, Lewis, being you. It's beautiful how you express yourself! P.s. The part with dinosaurs, hope you will show them some day ☺
@@NewelOfKnowledgeOverthinking is a big one! It causes anxiety and fake scenarios of the future to develop as if its real. Just now being able to stop this for myself!
May practice immediately: As you have explained this so nicely, I may not feel any weirdness toward your Rudolf Dreikurs pronounciaton, because I like good explanations and weird. Did I just use it for a "please don't change" argument?? ... Happyness restored. An Austrian.
I have thought this as natural consequences. Where you explain what would happen without adding punishment or rewards. The only part about explaining it to intelligence adults I don’t understand is what happens if they behave is not something you want to see them continue, however they are being highly rewarded for it, and the consequences for the person is small compared to the reward. Example,,the adult child who lives with you rent free.
I had a lady in my dancegroup who got ill and took antibiotics. From my awareness it is clear one should take probiotics after to repopulate the gut with bacteria again. 1: Let it play out? 2: When you take antibiotics without taking probiotics after (ACTION) you leave yourself vulnerable because you didn't repopulate your intestines (CONSEQUENCE). I did the first (LET IT PLAY OUT). I don't like it but since she is old I fear she won't listen. It sometimes seems to me old people are just not up to date with newer research so it doesn't seem valuable to me to tell her (also because we see each other weekly).
I've been reading The Good Gut, from 2015 (Justin and Erica Sonnenburg of Stanford). Their research appears to suggest that probiotic supplements generally aren't effective at recolonizing the gut after antibiotics but do convey some benefits while passing through - that a disrupted gut microbiome is very difficult to alter, if it is at all possible. They find that introducing fermented foods into the diet over time led to larger increases in gut biodiversity than attempts to introduce specific microbes via supplementation. That book is about 10 years old, but I think I've seen them speak on it more recently. Apologies for butting in.
sometimes people backstab coworkers at work or if you express ANY ideas people be like "O YOU THINK YOU KNOW BETTER? " I don't know what my answer to this question has to be? specifically, then it is insinuated rather than said sometimes after sharing something that the other person might not know or that he or she could do better I feel like I wish I just didn't say anything
My MIL gets extremely defensive when my partner and I gently and respectfully redirect or correct her behavior around our child. We try to make the language as non-personal and broad as possible, to no avail. I don't want this behavior to affect my child down the road. We've even had heart to heart talks in the past where she's voluntarily agreed that her behavior is overbearing and will work on allowing us to be the parents and her to respect our wishes, however those talks might as well have not happened with how she's remained steadfast in her narcissism and inability to accept our role as parents.
What should I do if someone comes to me for advice, but I do not know what to tell them? How should I approach it in the best way possible to help them and at the same time learn from them?
This is a terrible way to interact with someone who you call a friend. A human being who needs help is not inherently defective. We all need help from time to time.
"if you continue to waste my time with non-issues, I cannot guarantee that I will respond to your messages, nor take you seriously as the co-president of this organization. further, I would kindly suggest that you forward any and all concerns with the other co-president and to stop sending me messages like this as it makes me feel very unwelcome in this organization. thank you."
why did you change your outfit - you ruined the illusion of eternally living in this whiteboard room, spreading knowledge. i refuse to believe you own any other clothes than the brown vets :D great video as always btw
Bro you have glown up massively, that hair stache combo is HANDSOME
bro stop making me blush
@@NewelOfKnowledge Bro stop making me bush.
@@tarassu Bro stop making me buslh.
stop making me bu s
bustle with joy
Your body language is on POINT. It's like you're telling me the same thing, twice, at the same time 🤣
After the girl i was dating ended things w me, and asked to just be friends, I asked her to talk through the past 4 months, as there were some things I wanted to reflect on with her, she dismissed it. I explained why its important to me, and that if things wouldnt get cleared up, I would build up walls. If she isnt willing to reflect on the issues, I am not going to be able to be friends with her.
Although both of us expressed that we did want to be friends, she didn't change her behaviour, so now we are avoiding eachother.
I suppose the bigger lesson is that this method won't magically solve every problem, and it is still the other person's choice to act upon the logical consequences. Specifically verbalizing it does help me understand my own needs and limits, and it gives me more security in moving on. (Although it still really hurts ofc.)
This is very emotionally mature on your part. Have you given her a second chance after this? Have you asked her again after some time has passed if she was ready to talk about it?
I had a very similar situation, which was over a year ago. At least for my girl (and maybe with yours too) its because of her childhood, that back then her parents didnt really care for her enough, maybe they were paying attention to other things to much when they should've looked after her, maybe she didnt feel important etc.. That makes it very difficult for someone to really trust you and the (very scary) fact that you might actually stick around. Closeness, Trust and all of that feel very scary to people who have not been loved properly by their parents. This causes them to act in love just like their parebts acted on them. They will withdraw, seek the reassurance of isolation or distance (as in a friendship) and not really let you into their feelings (as we both couldnt talk to her about the relationship). Long story short: I hope you are doing okay! Hang in there buddy!
My Story with this girl actually went on for 1 more year, she stuied herself and those exact interactions, as did I with my childhood. Sadly it did not work out and I couldnt be friends with her. We are broken up for 3 weeks now.
What reeeaaally helped me a ton was the RUclips channel "School of life", thats where I know all of thes correlations between childhood and "weird" behaviour in adulthood. Have a great day! :)
It reminds me of a thing Jordan Peterson said that most people can't stick to a new years resolution. If it's that hard for you to stick to a change you chose yourself and actually want do then it has to be so much harder to change in a way someone external to yourself asks of you, even if you agree with it and have the best intentions. If you set your expectations realistically you'll get much less frustrated
Man I love your videos. I feel like you could make a second channel where you put on little devil horns and teach people how to ruin their lives. You have a great presence and personality.
😂 you've sold me. what an idea.
This channel helped me get over my break up and work on myself. I really appreciate you, and I’m so glad that you make content in this platform! Keep it up, your content makes everyday better! 😁👍
Hey man, the work you do is truly what I strive for. Though I haven’t yet overcome my vices enough to get myself up onto my feet, I am well on my way, and though a lot of my wellbeing is thanks to a bunch of ancient dead people (lol), it is unbelievably refreshing to have someone only a few years older than I am as a voice of guidance. You don’t need me to say this, but your art is truly for the greater good. Cheers 🍻
One recent circumstance that comes to mind is my coworkers talking over me at work because I’m one of the youngest ones.
Instead of making an ultimatum I simply retracted myself from the conversation and did not be overly friendly or agree with them. So now they let me finish before continuing.
Two concepts that tie together well with this idea is that you teach people how to treat/feel about you and to never reward bad behavior
I've been trying to come up with things to say to my emotionally immature parent for months, this video is helping me think of some things
When I want to change someone's behavior, I often find that it's easier to achieve what I want by doing something differently myself rather than trying to change another person.
damn, this is a great perspective change.
Once, I was talking to my ex on the phone about our relationship as we were ending things. However, she never truly listened or took the time to have that conversation properly. She was always multitasking and not genuinely listening or responding to what i say. Looking back, I wish I could slap myself for not respecting my own boundaries and for being overly nice. I believe delivering such an assertive message might have helped to have a proper conversation, but it wouldn’t change the fact that she is my ex now. But shit happens, and I’ve learned from the experience.
thanks for sharing Yazan. Reminded me of this:
img.ifunny.co/images/a3e9607814491d1ca3b1ce4023f71c67de3dfc7f29b16e729d51ca97676041c6_1.jpg
@ ahahhaha its absolutely that! I promised myself to never do this again. We’ll see how that will work next time🌚😂
I was skeptic with the beginning of the video but your clarified the line between healthy and unhealthy consequences. Amazing video!
There is a guy at my job who is very nervious (stress eating etc.). I am new at my job and don't know all the ropes, so I do things slowly and ask a lot of questions. This guy knows this. I told him this directly, yet he still takes whatever I am doing out of my hands and does it instead of me. This leaves me feeling ashamed. Last time, I was doing the simplest task of mopping up the floor and he took the mop out of my hand after saying "What the are you doing man?" It was the end of the shift when he did that. He could've just gone home. I don't know what to do when someone like this is taking their frustration out on me. The entire shift was not busy at all, yet it felt like it was life or death situation. I know I struggle with detaching from things like this due to being abused over any transgression as a kid (expressing wants, making mistakes), but I want to know what to do in this situation. Should I just "let them"?
I mean, he is doing the job for you, and you get the money in the end of the day
nervous people usually dont tend to listen whatever you say unless they calmed down, so its really delicate situation here
I guess I'd pry why he insists to do things in your stead. Is there expectation for things to be done perfect or else someone upstairs gonna scold him? Then whatever that may be, you get to know what to say to assure him that things'll be fine?
Apply the method in the video. Sit back, detach, and think of the consequences of letting those actions continue.
I know you said you have trouble detaching, but being able to realize that is the biggest step. You've already completed the biggest step.
Great point.
Here's what I'd say...
Sometimes it's hard to think of a "logical consequence" and your example highlights this perfectly.
Technically you could reason the logical consequence as being: his actions result in you feeling annoyed meaning the rapport between you decreases. But that isn't likely to be too helpful for you considering you both see each other at work most days (meaning, you're unable to just "stop hanging around" with this guy).
So in this case I'd recommend you approach the elephant in the room with him in a non violent way.
1.) Label the situation when the time and place is appropriate
2.) Deliver the statement: when you (action) I feel (emotion) because I (need). Would you be willing to (request)?
For example...
"Hi John, now it's quiet and there's no customers, I just wanted to mention there seems to be a disagreement between us both and I'd like us to solve it. Is now a bad time to bring it up?"
(Wait for the green light).
"Ok, from my side, just to be as clear as possible, when I'm doing a task and you take over to do it instead, I feel ashamed because I have the need to feel competent at what I'm doing. So I was wondering if you'd be willing to define what roles are mine and yours so we don't step on each others toes?"
You don't have to say that word for word, just some context.
These videos are long but they'll help if you want more info:
ruclips.net/video/i6-5CWHeAsM/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/cFyy_tju8Hg/видео.html
Hell no, don’t let anyone do anything that makes you feel worthless, you can do that all on your own. Next time he tries to take over something you’re doing, tell him to back off, or this phrase works very well “how about you pay attention to what you’re doing, and I’ll pay attention to what I’m doing?”. Stand up for yourself, journal so you can formulate your feelings, and then speak when the next opportunity arises.
I'm loving your content. It's informative and helpful personally, but also for my psychotherapy practice.
I'm enjoying your playfulness with your graphic facilitation skills, too. Very accessible and relatable.
You seem like a human on a quest for self-mastery, and it is refreshing how you seem to approach the work with a genuine appreciation for levity.
So, thanks for sharing yourself!
Thank you :)
Love the low tech whiteboard!
Thank-you. Explaining in such a light-hearted, playful and insightful manner makes it easy to come to terms with. It's rare to find these qualities in such realms as this - but, hey !! The entertainment value alone makes this well worth the watching ;)
I would so love a Newel of Knowledge book :)
On that note, if you don't bring out a book within the next year, I'm going to ghost write it for you ;)
Perhaps it's just the method of communication used, but I think a healthy ultimatum is one that isn't a threat, it's simply stating that you value one thing more than another and you're not going to take part in something that goes against that. If a couple disagree on the having kids question then really it's saying it's obvious one of us is going to be miserable if we stay together, which means both of us will be miserable because who wants to spend the rest of their life with someone who's miserable and resents you, the healthiest thing we can do is split up. Posing that as an ultimatum though is only unhealthy as far as it's pretending that it's the choice/fault of the other person for not feeling the same way rather than being an unresolvable mutual incompatablility you both need to accept as fact
At the right time
Thanks a ton man ive steadily been improving myself ever since i started watching you and applying what u teach, have a great day!
On my way to my parents for christmas and holy shit thank you I needed that
Adorable ending! 😂Thank you so much for your videos! Often presenters shares good ideas but their tone or voice make it literally impossible to listen for a long time. You are, on the contrary, my cup of tea in every aspect! Love the humour, the presentation and of course learn so much!
I think I'm in love 🥰 even though I'm old enough to be his grandmother!
😂
When I delivered an unhealthy ultimatum to my partner, it sounded like this, "If you do not workout or get a higher paying job by the next six months, I will have checked out of this relationship." I realize a healthier alternative to this is, "When you do not achieve the goals you set, and lack to set any at all, it makes me feel reaffirmed in the doubts I have about our relationship. If you stay this way for the next six months and do not achieve body or financial goals, I will leave this relationship as it will be better for both of us."
Hi Henry! I want to say this genuinely to see if I can help you and your relationship, and for no other reason. If you find that I am wrong, go ahead and ignore this :) Respectfully, I’m not sure that your second alternative was very healthy either. In both scenarios, you made your partner feel a pressure to do the same thing in 6 months. You seemed a little strict, requiring that they achieve specific outcomes in 6 months. Change can take time, and it seems like you might be more focused on outcomes than values. As long as your partner is genuinely working on those things-which in your defense it sounds like the weren’t-the added timeline and strict expectations may cause more harm than good, hindering their ability to improve. If you are truly struggling in your relationship because your partner is unmotivated or lazy, then gentle encouragement to improve can be very effective. If you are genuinely looking for specific outcomes, you may want to be careful placing your personal expectations onto someone else. While there is nothing wrong with having strict needs in a partner-like a specific kind of body or income-it sounds like your partner may feel inadequate due to these expectations, as they may feel a sense of being unlovable without achieving this strict body or financial goals.
@@drewbennet3435Congrats, I think you just implemented the whole point of the video, big W
I hAve used this and it works!
I'm a woman in her early 20s and it has been very difficult for me to get out of feelings of depression and anxiety. I had psychedelic experiences with DMT and mushrooms, and they helped me a lot, but in day-to-day life it has been difficult for me to sustain that kind of state of mind. I've been searching a lot on RUclips but, at least for me, all that I found to help me with my self-esteem are things like 'use more makeup, have a glow up,' and I don't think that using more makeup or having that kind of 'glow up' would help me get out of this pattern. I already tried before and it only got worse, but then I found your videos and they really helped me a lot, so I really want to thank you because now I can sleep well at night and be more present. Your work is amazing.
Also, I wanted to ask if you can make a video about jealousy? What really helped me is to think about what makes me feel and why I identify with that, how that speaks about me, and that helped me, but I'm really interested in your point of view. Anyway, thank you for your kindness. ❤❤️
Can you please make a video about getting out of freeze mode...when you know what you want and have goals, but can't find the energy mentally and sometimes physically to actually persue that
Check your exhuastive thoughts or check ur vitamins..
Damn I've stumbled onto a goldmine now if only I talked to people enough to use this information
You are the blessed child touched by the sun 🌞
the timing of this is wild i have to direct a film for film class and I have no idea how to direct my classmates to cooperate
Came at the right time
This sounds very similar to Becky Kennedy’s definition of boundaries. I love it.
Chimp throws any statement mostly those that are past stories or future projections and then why i respond to it by either agreeing to it or explaining my reason for disagreement to it . What if i don't respond to it by claiming these are just thoughts which is illusion.Then will i be out of my head nonstop meeting?
Woo, new Newel video!
I click because of the handsome man, I stay for the knowledge (and the handsome man too...)
i read comment because of lovely human. i read comment again because of lovely human. (and lovely human too).
Make a video on how to handle racism... negative thoughts and being fearless
Love your videos!
This is a real struggle for me- I guess in my mind, anything other than ‘doing nothing’ feels like a ‘manufactured’ consequence (no matter how ‘reasonable’ it is). And of course, in my experience any attempt to do things on your own behalf as a protective measure is framed as disproportionate or unnecessary by those seeking to exploit or do wrong by you. Do I guess I still really struggle to understand the ‘true’ or simple meaning of ‘natural’ consequence, especially as compared to an ‘unnatural’ one.
Don't have any psychological questions or requests for myself. But I'm interested in how different people are created. So I'm enjoing you, Lewis, being you. It's beautiful how you express yourself! P.s. The part with dinosaurs, hope you will show them some day ☺
A HUMBLE REQUEST FROM YOUR SUBSCRIBER REQUESTING YOU TO PLEASE KINDLY MAKE A VIDEO ON HOW TO OVERCOME OVERTHINKING, DEPRESSION AND SCHIZOPHRENIA.🙏
DEPRESSION VID IZ ALREADY UP: ruclips.net/video/Wrz5gp5Y7ts/видео.html
OVERTHINKING VID COMING SOON.
@@NewelOfKnowledge THANK YOU 💚
Humble request in all caps. 😂
@@lorenbeverly4007 hehe, wanted him to notice my message 😁
@@NewelOfKnowledgeOverthinking is a big one! It causes anxiety and fake scenarios of the future to develop as if its real. Just now being able to stop this for myself!
May practice immediately: As you have explained this so nicely, I may not feel any weirdness toward your Rudolf Dreikurs pronounciaton, because I like good explanations and weird. Did I just use it for a "please don't change" argument?? ... Happyness restored. An Austrian.
I have thought this as natural consequences. Where you explain what would happen without adding punishment or rewards. The only part about explaining it to intelligence adults I don’t understand is what happens if they behave is not something you want to see them continue, however they are being highly rewarded for it, and the consequences for the person is small compared to the reward. Example,,the adult child who lives with you rent free.
I had a lady in my dancegroup who got ill and took antibiotics. From my awareness it is clear one should take probiotics after to repopulate the gut with bacteria again. 1: Let it play out? 2: When you take antibiotics without taking probiotics after (ACTION) you leave yourself vulnerable because you didn't repopulate your intestines (CONSEQUENCE). I did the first (LET IT PLAY OUT). I don't like it but since she is old I fear she won't listen. It sometimes seems to me old people are just not up to date with newer research so it doesn't seem valuable to me to tell her (also because we see each other weekly).
I've been reading The Good Gut, from 2015 (Justin and Erica Sonnenburg of Stanford). Their research appears to suggest that probiotic supplements generally aren't effective at recolonizing the gut after antibiotics but do convey some benefits while passing through - that a disrupted gut microbiome is very difficult to alter, if it is at all possible.
They find that introducing fermented foods into the diet over time led to larger increases in gut biodiversity than attempts to introduce specific microbes via supplementation.
That book is about 10 years old, but I think I've seen them speak on it more recently.
Apologies for butting in.
I have simply accepted that i can't change other people. Perhaps that's too simplistic
Some people do t deserve a healthy one
sometimes people backstab coworkers at work or if you express ANY ideas people be like "O YOU THINK YOU KNOW BETTER? " I don't know what my answer to this question has to be? specifically, then it is insinuated rather than said sometimes after sharing something that the other person might not know or that he or she could do better I feel like I wish I just didn't say anything
Very interesting and useful ! 😃
Hair!? I'm having a crisis now
AURA ✨
My MIL gets extremely defensive when my partner and I gently and respectfully redirect or correct her behavior around our child. We try to make the language as non-personal and broad as possible, to no avail. I don't want this behavior to affect my child down the road. We've even had heart to heart talks in the past where she's voluntarily agreed that her behavior is overbearing and will work on allowing us to be the parents and her to respect our wishes, however those talks might as well have not happened with how she's remained steadfast in her narcissism and inability to accept our role as parents.
Gracias
I wish you would provide the same example for both good and bad; I’m still feeling lost since they both look like ultimatums to me.
hell yea
What should I do if someone comes to me for advice, but I do not know what to tell them? How should I approach it in the best way possible to help them and at the same time learn from them?
If you don't use the magic gravity defying eraser, then I will feel sad. Oh.. I think that would be considered an unhealthy statement.
Nice hairstyle
What are the healthy ultimatums for your unhealthy examples pls? (Sorry if this was already answered but couldn’t find it in the comments section etc)
Could anyone please give examples of healthy ultimatum?
11:57
There's a girl I REALLY REALLY like, and I need help on what to do, can I get some tips?
Aura
This is a terrible way to interact with someone who you call a friend. A human being who needs help is not inherently defective. We all need help from time to time.
When you keep looking this good while you're teaching me things, i often miss what you're saying because i get so distracted 😜
How was that? 😁
If you don’t make another good video like this, I’m not going to watch it.
🤣
"if you continue to waste my time with non-issues, I cannot guarantee that I will respond to your messages, nor take you seriously as the co-president of this organization. further, I would kindly suggest that you forward any and all concerns with the other co-president and to stop sending me messages like this as it makes me feel very unwelcome in this organization. thank you."
Step1: Grow a head of hair
An email, please!
Since your target audiance is probably younger men, a series on how to deal (specifically) with problematic wives might be good.
why did you change your outfit - you ruined the illusion of eternally living in this whiteboard room, spreading knowledge. i refuse to believe you own any other clothes than the brown vets :D great video as always btw
brown vest = mental health vids
black shirt = social skills vids
thanks :)
If you don't heart this comment, I will have to unsub -- until your next birthday
*FINGERS SCRAMBLE TO HIT THE HEART BUTTON
I just finished taking the biggest dump of my life. This couldn't have come at a better time
I wonder why it's called taking when actually it's more like giving
Can't read your board.
noted, will bring camera closer next time or write bigger
I disagree, i can see the illustrations and text just fine.
he's the epitome of my type