Your Wife Doesn't Trust You!
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- Опубликовано: 13 дек 2022
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Something about this caller is just unsettling. He is financially irresponsible, and that's why his wife is holding on to her money.
She doesn’t wanna give him money cause he is bad with it. Not really surprising.
Exactly!
Something about this caller leaves me uneasy. I feel sorry for the wife.
He's a people pleaser. Probably won't get out of that situation he's in anytime soon
Will you leave your parents on the street, if they can’t pay their rent.
@@Neddie2k they could come stay with me but if I didn't have money for them then I couldn't give it.
@@Elizabeth-yg2mg and if your husband doesn’t like the idea of his in-laws moving into his house with no exit plan. You know when they move in, they will never leave right.
@@Neddie2k I'm happily single. Parents were really bad--unendurable--and dead anyways so no worries. I was just answering someone's question.
The cackling laugh was speaking volumes.
🤔🤫
I love how the caller repeatedly laughs about his and his parent’s situation and Dave stays stone cold.
its a coping mechanism to hide his pain. poor guy
He is very annoying with that laugh. First marriage at 42? Women don’t marry a bachelor who is in their 40s.
@@jet4415 then who are older single women to marry?
@DJ I don’t understand you comment?
He’s not laughing. He’s uncomfortable and being vulnerable.
It sounds like he wants his wife to foot the bill just because she can. Nope!
It’s both their money buddy boy.
@@miketheyunggod2534 It's not. It's hers, in law.
The wife is gonna leave him.
I would.
She should run from this clown 🤡
If we'd kept our $ separate... I'd be sitting on a hefty sum & my husband would be broke. I made a foolish decision & in still "paying" for it 11 years later.
This guy is incredibly immature, he literally wants his wife to pay for his and his parents mistakes because she has money and was financially responsible. NO WAY. I feel so bad for his wife, she likely didn't know the severity of his financial problems before marriage, because someone financially responsible wouldn't marry someone who wasn't.
Unto thee all my worldly goods I pledge - that's thee, not thee's relatives.
The wife shouldn't have to pay for the mistakes of the son and father-in-law with money she brought into the marriage. I highly doubt she was told he was clinging to a failed business prior.
When my EX FIANCE started saying that i woule be able to "give his children a better life" & "afford vacations" with my income I ended it.
I have some disagreements with Dave's BLANKET statement that everything becomes community property.
I would love to hear someone ask him if he would share everything if he ever remarries.... 😂😂😂
When you are married, you are one. That's biblical. If you don't believe it, don't get married.
I agree. The assets and the money you bring into a marriage remain yours. The joint money is what you jointly earn from that point on.
@@jimroscovius There's no requirement to be a believer in either Judaism or Christianity in order to get married.
I’m sure he shares with his wife.
She shouldn’t trust him or bail him out. They can combine when they are on an even plain. I don’t see this marriage lasting because she sees the writing on the wall.
Get to know EVERYTHING financial that you can about your future spouse before you get married. Avoid a nightmare.
I don’t blame the wife for being hesitant! They can combine money once he pays off his stupid.
You can help your parents without collapsing your own house.
This caller had a wife who didn't even want to help her husband financially. He'd lose the marriage if he insisted on financially supporting his parents with money he doesn't have.
As soon as the caller said, "Happy wife, happy life," I knew he was toast. 🤦
I do not trust this man , I’d keep my money away from him far far away from him
And from his family.
This caller is pretty chipper and upbeat for someone who is broke and made the wrong decisions. Man, own your mistakes - they came at a great cost, possibly the most expensive education you will ever have.
He did own them.
This guy sounds like a creep who seemingly called Dave expecting different answers. I love that Dave didn’t bend. And they nailed it. She doesn’t trust him.
Dave also said when you are married your money is combined. Stop cherry picking
I was done after I heard, “Happy wife, happy life” …the worse quote to live by smh.
No wife, stress free life
@@TheImapotato idk man I'm still stressed lol
my dad says this but ironically lol
its true lol either never get married or makes sure your wife happy because its cheaper to keep her. Men need to realize that marriage its pointless and to stay unmarried.
So the parents said they didn’t want the help…. The wife didn’t want to give the money…. So why is this guy insisting on giving money to them ?
Good question
Sounds like he either felt responsible for them in some way (by key things he said in the call), or he believes that not doing so, even insisting so, is somehow immoral and cold-hearted. Savior-complex centered around his parents, maybe? Hard to tell.
That's what I said. 😅😅
To be able to brag about later 😒🙄
His wife doesn't trust him. And for good reason. If he pays off his parents debt and fixes their mistakes he will never be able to get out of debt himself or would prolong his ability to get out of debt. Why must his wife pay for their issues because she's the only financially stable one. I can understand if they lost their job or they went through a hardship. He talks about his wife as if she is upset with him for helping out his family, but it is too unstable
they did lose their job. it was their source of income. so a little help yes, but only help with what you can and you have to know your limits. seems like he's overdoing himself and she's upset with it.
His wife should help pay her husbands debt. You dont like the fact he had debt? Dont marry the guy because in marriage you are one. I agree that she may not want to help his parents which is fine and I agree that this is fine because we arent our parents retirement plan.
@@crzyruskie86 I agree. They shouldve talked more about finances. I would say the same thing if the wife came in with debt and aksed the husband for money for her parents. Its too much burden.
@@NoneYa-pg6dk They lost their business. They couldve given it up before. I commend him on trying to be a good son. But if he tries too hard he is going to ruin himself and by extension ruined his relationship.
This caller keeps trying to humble brag while admitting he’s clueless and in debt. Good luck.
I've never met anyone who said "Happy Wife, Happy Life" that didn't get divorced. I've also never encountered a situation where the woman out earned the man and didn't want separate accounts.
I wouldn't want to be married to this guy.
That’s an interesting observation. I see this with guys from work. Wonder why
good observation.
lol ppl who use that phrase are such corny goofballs
His wife has her act together, and he doesn't. They are so unequal that he is starting to realize he's inadequate. He sees it as a business partnership instead of a marriage because he knows she cannot respect him if he cannot be a provider. These two will have SERIOUS problems ahead if he doesn't grow up and put his MARRIAGE ahead of his mommy n daddy. She fell for a slickster, but he's not foolin anyone anymore. GROW UP DUDE!
Yep.
Agree, he sold her a bill of goods and she fell for it. Salespeople will sell their mother to make a buck.
BOOM
She shouldn't trust him. He's a financial mess.
So he wants to take her money to pay off his parents debt? I don't agree with Dave. He wants to take care of his parents and then use her funds to pay off his debts. She has already said, "NO" because he isn't being responsible to her, their marriage, or her financial wisdom. He hasn't indicated he has done anything to correct his behavior but wants to use her funds to clean up his mess. He is being generous with her money. It isn't about the $$ but his lack of consideration for her. She isn't a bank!
Just flip this around... what if he worked for a bank and decided to take the bank funds to pay off his and his parents debt? Wouldn't that be embezzlement?
This guy's divorced within two years.
Dave and John spent so much time pontificating on the "need" for married people to join finances, when this caller gave plenty of reasons not to do so...
A great salesman lol because he got her to marry him! Yikes
My mom told her daughters. " Have cash stashed, you just never know" She doesn't have faith on him. That's why she separating the money. She should of waited to marry him. UNTIL HE WAS DEBT FREE. or close to it
Yeah cause if he wants that money all he gotta do is file for divorce unless they signed a prenup
@@jasonleatherwood2172 If she had her own money "before" the marriage in a separate account, then what you said about him being able to get her money in a divorce is not necessarily true at all.
It’s easier said than done to wait until the partner is debt free.
No way, combining finances open the door for a lot of problems....
The wife knows if she gives access to all the finances they will be on the street. Dave you had no problem telling a man to cut access to funds to a wife when he claimed she was a shopaholic. She's probably already paying all the bills. Because he doesn't earn any money.
NO FINANCES HAVE TO BE COMBINED. EACH CAN HAVE THEIR OWN CHECKING ACCOUNTS AND HAVE ANOTHER ONE USED TO PAY THE BILLS. THE WIFE SHOULD KEEP HER OWN MONEY. BOTH NEED TO TALK OVER MONEY CONSTANTLY AND BE AWARE OF WHAT THE OTHER IS DOING ON BIG PURCHASES.
That's my situation. How about making the husband yield his financial right(to his income and to his small savings) to the wife to make better choices for the future?
Laughing can be a coping mechanism.
I don't really understand what he was asking. "I paid a month's rent for my parents. They didn't ask or want me to, but I did. They're a burden on me because I did this!" Huh? Was he asking if it's ok to do it again, or...? I'm confused what his dilemma was. It seems it's more about feeling guilt, and resentment, that he's not as financially secure as his wife.
How were they a burden if they weren’t asking for money? He made the decision to give them money even though they didn’t want it. This guy is a mess.
They always say that "when you get married, their debt becomes your debt". The caller said his wife has a lot of money. He sounds almost completely illiterate when it comes to money, but she should be helping him pay off their debts...that is exactly what they would say if the roles were reversed and he said his wife had the debt and he had the money.
Oh yes isn't this the truth. I can hear Dave "you need to pay off her student loans you are one now"
@@robertbell525 Student loans are an investment. These debts are anything but.
This one was great, guys! A lot of us can resonate.
Dave, as always - spot on!
This caller gave me the cringed. Some people are scary when it comes to money especially in marriage.
When the spouse as well as the parents of this spouse do not have the same "financial maturity" that you bring to the marriage (i.e. savings, money, no debt, etc.) I don't feel any responsibility or need to share the wealth brought to the marriage with them as it is legally separate property. Since it is legally categorized as "separate property" there is no requirement to share it, especially if the financially immature spouse will spend it all (following in their parents' footsteps). Nope not gonna do it.
Me either
If you have a dollar and you marry someone who has nothing, then you both have a dollar.
@@d_all_in The only thing we have is being broke together. I'll keep my $1 thank you.
Great advice gents.
It’s really sad how often it happens that someone who is horrible with money is very deceitful to their future spouse. It happened to me, and in a short four year marriage, my retirement went from 600,000 down to 200,000 because I DID share. Sadly, I’m his eyes, everything was his and was needed to float his failing businesses.
I don’t blame this woman one bit, there are many male gold diggers out there as well as female.
I notice new microphones, congrats.
I like it better makes it like a podcast versus a radio 📻 show
@@roolyfe Except it will always be a radio show first and foremost
They set aside cash in an envelope labeled NEW MICROPHONE FUND
Homie came for financial advice and got life and couples advice
Exactly
For married people it’s usually one and the same I would think
Less talk, more action.
Dave’s face and body language says it all.
News Flash…the divorce papers will be served upon him after the holidays are over. She’s already spoken with her divorce lawyer and she’s already got her new boyfriend on stand-by. I wish this unfortunate guy the best because he’s in for a rude awakening to start 2023. If You want to consistently help your parents, do not get married.
“Happy wife happy life” good god man grow a set
It’s happy spouse happy house 🏡. But I just focus on peace and cooperation 😊
Yes, one of the worst sayings ever.
@@Desperado187 Women get turned off by weak beta males and will get mad at you for trying to make them happy and a people pleaser because that is feminine. They respect you when you stand your ground
it a Stup!d saying....
It's blue pill mentality.
There marriage is over.
I love the "got cancer/used to smoke" analogy
Happy wife happy wife
Never say "happy wife happy life"
Thats the looser approach...
So, don’t get married to someone until you and they have your personal finances together.
If just finances will crush the marriage then what are you going to do when real trouble comes along? I'm sure someone bad with money can be a burden but there has to be more to marriage than that
It’s not always a good idea to combine finances, especially if one spouse will be irresponsible with the money. You can end up completely broke, and then what? “I combined finances because it says so in the Bible”, but now I’m destitute so it’s my fault for not planning ahead … 🤦🏻♀️ Sometimes you just can’t win …
Re: the helping parents thing, I don't think it's a cut and dry "do it or don't do it". I think in principle it's good that he has that intention, so maybe he could've done so without shipwrecking himself financially, e.g. help whatever portion he actually can afford
Even Dave has said helping family is ok as long as a few criteria are met. First, don't put yourself in a bad situation by doing so. Second, have clear boundaries and limits in place that you have clearly communicated. And third, never loan money. If you can afford to amd want to help, just give it to them. But never loan. I remember seeing one video where he went over all these.
Agree. May be ok to help out short term just to keep the shop from sinking. You don't want them bunking with you. But they have to be on a program with a timeline or the help will become subsidy.
When a woman says go ahead= I dare you
Funny
@@debbiehopper5288 I have been married before and know better. Thankfully it's been a decade since a woman told me this as that is a bad omen in itself
Can someone tell me how you can have a marriage and NOT combine incomes.
Combine incomes, else it's not a marriage. Yaayy, Christian marriage - any other kind is fake.
By having a joint account for your living expenses and vacations and keeping separate individual accounts for everything else.
He doesn't have a clue. I feel bad for his wife.
Welp happy wife! Happy wife!
All jacked up on Mountain Dew!!
Hi Dave. My wife is really struggling between helping me with money or helping my parents with money. Can you help?
Yep. I want my wife to help me with my financial problems then I want us to continue helping my parents with their financial problems.
My question is if you have children from your first marriage how do you protect their inheritance if you combine all your finances with your new wife?
I don’t know the exact answer, but I believe he has addressed a similar problem before. I believe putting inheritance in a trust protects it from a new spouse, but I may be mistaken.
should probably consult with an estate attorney, but I would imagine a trust could be set up to handle that.
My grandparents made a family trust. Money only passed down through the bloodline
You can't, these people who think you can hide money in a trust are wrong.
You DONT combine finances in a second marriage when you already have kids.
The parents said they don’t want help so giving them money doesn’t make him a better person
The Catholic Church still uses those original vows. That’s marriage. 😊
Really . Cool 😎
A lot of married men tolerate abuse from their wives due to the "happy wife happy life" bs. That's abuse.... It's not funny or normal in any way but this is what men tolerate, i have no empathy for people who allow others to do what they do. YOU have a choice.
Or they just put themselves in a victim mindset which is also ridiculous. Overall it’s just a dumb dumb joke to make.
Dating in older life is fraught with difficulties that become all the more exacerbated when each partner owns their home, particularly if one has more financial 'worth' than the other. There are only two ways round it: EITHER sell both properties, combine finances and start anew with joint accounts etc OR continue to love each other whilst living separately - particularly if one or both of you have been financially 'burned' by previous partners. It's a sad reflection on modern life but better to be safe than sorry.
I see exactly where the wife is coming from. If my husband had been irresponsible with money and now his parents are in the same situation and need bailing out I sure as hell would NOT be dipping into any money that I had saved in order to fix what they had broken by their own stupidity because once the husband/in-laws know that she has a financial 'pot' available it won't be just the one time they ask for help. And once the wife has bailed them all out, the husband will probably leave her for someone new - and all her saved money is gone!!
Exactly!
These two had no business getting married in the first place by the sounds of it.
Why would she "share"( give him access to her $$) her life with him?
Because she said "I do"
Happy wife happy life is the worst advice ever given about marriage.
Amen. On the flip-side, "A cord of three strands is not easily broken" is probably the best. Husband, wife, and God. A 3-way union. God at the head.
You can legitimately keep money separate before marriage as a prenup and it's still a valid marriage - you share everything while you're married but if you get divorced, it's not fair that a gold digger gets money they had no part in earning. If everyone was honest this wouldn't be necessary but we all know that this is not the case.
Delony actually has a copy of his book on the shelf behind him!
Dude should have called Rollo tomasi
Then again if you and your spouse agree to share everything, and the spouse does. Shares what you earned with Visa, Mastercard, Target, Walmart..........
I wonder if he had the money before the marriage if he would feel the same way... 🧐
That's why I don't have one doi......
A marriage should be (God-Husband-Wife)! Trust is Earned, we only heard one side of the story! There is more to it than what is said.
She seems financially responsible and he doesn't. Maybe she is concerned about their finances.
It's ok to help once in a while as long as it doesn't become a habit, and they start expecting it, then it becomes enabling, and enabling doesn't help them, it makes things worse.
Let's no be so quick to judge her here, without hearing her side!
But if the other person is not all in the I refuse to be all in too. Late marriage for one and second marriage for other so not going to happen!
No defending the caller but when the story like this comes from a wife wanting to help a family member the reaction overall is very different!
“The wife”
She should maybe be the one responsable with the finances but after all this is fix and counseling so there is no resentment
your parents invested in you(instead of SCHD or VOO). you pay the dividends. if you don't you're a bad investment.
Would not be surprised if this man married the woman for her money
She is totally missing out crucial details that implicate her. I hate calls when they start crying to hook us emotionally without having stated one detail. Get the kid in school and find a blooming job!
He want to use her to erase his decisions then will turn around and do it again
As a divorce christian, I am glad I can't remarry. Makes life a lot easier. Stay single kings.
Kings? Dream on....
I am in the same situation have to give half my retirement to my x wife and never been happier in my life. Less money but alot happier and healthier. Being a Christian is the key to happiness also.
If I pick up on a man’s ignorance about money, he doesn’t get another date
So glad to be very post wall - and dodging bullets.
Never been married, no children, date younger women. I am the bane and anger of many older women, but IDGAF. I am wealthy, happy and healthy.
Being an Indian kid, I can't even fathom the thought where I won't help my parents and would think of my financial freedom first. Maybe it's the difference in values or upbringing in different culture. I would rather put in an year or two of my life to stabilize the parents, just like they did for me.
Not judging though, just a difference in culture
We used to be that way here in the USA.Selfishness took over.
Lot of single women and women who’s marriage didn’t work popping off in these comments. If you don’t trust your husband to combine money its your own fault, you shouldn’t be married if you didn’t take the time to get on the same page on money or didn’t think to talk about it. Same goes for a man who feels the same way.
Happy wife happy life is code for my wife is a witch and my marriage is my biggest regret
When it comes to marriage (it's we not I)
That guy sounded unreliable AF.
Don't read the comments. You have been warned.
I think he should work on his finances I mean I will still help but very little they will have to go work part time both of them to make it.
Don't go to Winco it's terrible Mongo long lines
✝️🙏
Im with the wife lol. He sounds irresponsible