I know that's right!!! My son was just spelunking in the cabinet for the Captain Crunch yesterday morning. I'm like baby boy, we don't do that sugary stuff on school days. He just gettin' his Indiana Jones on.
Poor? She kept the house. The car. The kids. Bonus money that she didn't even work for. She's not poor she just needs to realize that now things have changed and she can't afford to continue living the rich life she had. Example. I could never afford a 2000 dollar mortgage. So I don't. Easy. And why did they plan kids if they had debt besides the house? People need to plan their lives better. Everyone wants to live like a king.
When she said her son wanted to suicide bc his dad left 😭why would you want to put your children through that. No side chick comes above your child’s happiness. The husband is a traitor.
For real. It's such an incredibly selfish thing to do. I don't know how cheaters sleep well at night, especially when they are leaving behind people who depend on them.
Man. When she said “I’m actually pretty lucky” I about lost it. People that can appreciate the good in their life in a situation like that are really inspiring.
Sometimes these comments are about an inability that people have to feel their own pain and sit with it. They don’t have the emotional bandwidth to admit their own suffering!
Stay strong sister, I was in your position 4 years ago with 7 kids,now paid off my house, credit card and by next month paying off my car. I paid off my car and saved 40k.
@@artz9643 Possibly, but what indicates to you that Claire is that way at all. We don't know the whole truth, of course, but she didn't sound like she twisted facts at all. She's grateful for what she has and is dealing with a wild amount of betrayal.
Pamela Cantrell she'll cheat on the gf as well when she's on the second or third kid. These people never change. Never get together with a cheater. They'll cheat on you as well
Father God, I pray for restoration for Claire and her children right now. I pray that finances and miracles flow to her immediately in Jesus Name. I pray she and the kids rely on you for everything, because you are her God. Thank you Lord!
Not a Christian, but I'll pray for her too. May the gods guide her and her family, and may they punish her faithless husband. May his family turn their faces away from him and towards his victim and her family. May she find warmth in the embrace of her god, and may her family reach new heights in the years to come.
She is pretty stupid too. If he cheated on his wife he will cheat on the mistress...if he doesn't already have other girlfriends these two women don't know about
💯👌👍👏 agree, if he end's things with her he'll be on real hard times. no job, place to stay, car etc. sounds like his bonus was set-up because of how things are going with his daughter.
Or choosing NONE. This whole call made me glad I still do not have children OR a wife at age 42. If there's one thing that's certain, it's that you can be certain you have NO IDEA when someone is going to have a midlife crisis and take his/her own path... AT YOUR EXPENSE.
Leaving his kids for fear of living on the street and eating rice & beans while he's f#&ing around is infuriating. I sure hope she feathered him of every penny possible in child support and alimony and if not, she sure should do so.
Exactly why women need to focus on their own career as well. You never know what can happen. Pray for the best but be prepared for the worst when marrying someone because some people change.
4 years later I’m wondering how she‘s doing. Yes, she was devastated, but she sounded intelligent and capable. Really hope she and her kids are ok now.
Regret and guilt are real. My father abandoned us when we were little and left my mom with five kids, mortage, bills, etc. It was a struggle. Later on, he tried to talk to us and I talked to him just because my mom taught me better. Needless to say, when he got sick, no one really cared. He died and I didn't even shed a tear.
Im so sorry you didnt know the full love of a caring father. You had the person but he couldnt do the job. Mines gone and I miss him so much. Take care.
Nice job Dad. Way to set a great example for your kids, especially your sons. My supervisor just found out something very similar with her husband of 12 years and now they’re in the middle of a divorce. If you can’t stay faithful, don’t get married
while i agree with the sentiment he is essentially paying her 50k a year and she makes 19k and judging on the mortgage calculation the house value is somewhere north of 500,000 she will be fine she just needs to accept a lower lifestyle
@@williamfranklin5152do you think their lives are "ruined" bc she has to deflate her lifestyle? Did you not hear that she was betrayed by the one person committed to doing life? That her son tried killing himself bc of his father's behavior? That these children have siblings they'll likely never know as family? And their lives aren't even ruined. They will come back from this, but this is about way more important things than money
you'll raise three women who dislike men... Why? because you have told them men will abuse them if given the opportunity. Hope your three harpies get therapy
That’s sound advice. If you depend on other people for food, water, and shelter, some people will feel like they own you. But I guess some insecure men want that.
@@puppy3908 where did you read in my msg that I said for them to dislike men and men will abuse them?? Are you really that stupid?? I tough my daughters to have their own careers, own transportation ect... they were tought to never depend on a man to be their only financial support to be self supportive if it ever needed to come to that.
Some people get married and cheat before marriage and continue cheating. I don't think you should marry anyone who cheats on you before marriage...ever...because they know you are the desperate kind and will stay no matter what they do and forgive them.
@@fabulouslifeinchrist1349 I totally agree and I have met people who married anyway. But I've also met people who didn't know until after marriage, which totally sucks!
@MissZoey007 they were married for 20 buckoes, what does birth control has to do with anything? this is about having a financial safety net if someone screws you over.
Except for to bring your food to the grocer, clean your water, fix your streets, make sure gas is at a pump, etc. Hmmm I guess we all rely on other people everyday. I hope they get use to living in the wilderness somewhere. Rough.
@MissZoey007 first of all, you're correct, my english still needs some work. secondly, what does africans and orientals have to do with this, it's not our fault you people aren't having children, and if you do have em, you end up abandoning them and having the government force you to pay for your own children's upbringing.
This is why I would NEVER be upset at women who have personal security funds and assets because when something like this happens, the man just picks up, leaves and starts over while she deals with the heavy load. Forget that. Women, ALWAYS be prepared and sleep with one eye that opens every once in a while so you can rest.
Someone tells me to choose financial responsibility or them, bye. It's not like buying a Toyota vs a Lexus, it's the attitude... we all have to retire one day and I don't plan on eating Ramen noodles 3 times a day.
Right. What kind of choice is that? Most of these men complain about money hungry wives and he has one that is trying to make sure yall have some money for the future.
@@Kelaine72 it probably had nothing to do with money. Those weird ultimatums are usually the person trying to hold control over their spouse. She was pushing for something that would give her independence, so he had to step in.
The part where her voice broke when she asked about giving up more custody of her kids 😭 the pain you feel when you’re facing giving up time with your own children is heartbreaking
This is the first call where I just started balling.... Dave hasn’t even said word yet and I’m in tears. Hugs and prayers for this mama and her babies 😭❤️
Claire, it gets easier, I know it's tough now, but don't sacrifice the time with your children to make more money. If they need you around. Wait till they're older. Love from London 💓💓💓
@The RUclips Critic parents pay for everything you have listed over here too. You get a certain amount of help from the government if you are on a low income. And you would hopefully get paid child maintenance from your ex.
Same thing happened to me. I had a divorce in less than 45 days!! I got the house, downsized and me and my son are sitting pretty. I'm so lucky and know most people are destroyed one way or another in divorce. I was emotionally ruined due to the betrayal. I don't know if I will EVER trust again. Cheating ruins lives people.
Well I'm a grown man and this almost brought me to tears. All I can think of is my momma. I wish I could tell her how much her kids will love her for what she's going through now.
himynameiscyn i wish there was a middle ground between having someone in your life to be close 2 but just don't belong 2 them. Ride the waves when things are good. When goes south save yourself and be done... I wish that was easier DONE than SAID
I am praying for Claire that God will give her daily bread, and renewed strengthen along with peace. Lord comfort her heart and the childrens and supply all of their needs according to your riches and glory Amen. (Prayer changes things )
Could you please also pray for all the children starting to death in Africa? I think they've been needing some daily bread for quite a while. Would be great to see it change!
My heart breaks for this woman. You can just hear in her voice the resolve, the dedication and the determination to soldier through this. But she's shattered.
@@artz9643 He can only deal with the person requesting the help and from my hundreds views to Uncle Dave's show. He don't look at WHO is Right but he focus on WHAT is Right .
@@shannonsmith5421 that's exactly my point. Dave can't know who's right because he doesn't have all the facts. He's only getting one side of the story. It's ok for him to offer advice to the caller. It's not ok to pass judgement against another person when you don't have a clue what's the whole situation.
What a horrible (ex) husband. This woman & children are reaping the devastation of his conduct. This poor lady has to keep her head above water & NOT have a breakdown in order to move toward a better financial future. That is NOT easy. I wish for this lady & her children all the happiness their heart & arms can hold.
Sell the house, take your half, rent the cheapest (safest) apartment you can find and live off the house money/ savings money while you get a better paying job. Dont be afraid to “downsize”.
If she lowers her overhead - the ex will petition the court to lower his contribution. Plus the kids will have more upheaval. Try to stay till younger doesn't need a sitter after school...
SunshineLaw Fan better to live more simply and not be dependent on that POS ex anymore. Requiring his money to get by is not a good answer to anything. Making her bills small and manageable is the best way forward.
Quick question. Why does she say she can't afford the mortgage of 2735 a month when it is the ex-husband who pays it? Is it that he's no longer obliged to pay after the divorce is finalized or something?
The ex husband pays 4k a month for 2 kids. Mortgage + 1.4k support Even his bonus goes to the ex wife. HOW does she have problems?? I am really confused
So sorry to hear about your situation. Praying all unfolds well for you and your children. Stay strong, you never know what good God can create from even the worst situations.
Please just rent a place. Get a 3 bedroom you'll be fine. See if you can work full time and have the dad take the kids to therapy. These children are his responsibility too. Work Monday-Friday and have weekends and holidays off with the kids until your stable then adjust your schedule to how you like it
You can hear how she can't even allow herself to get too emotional. She's so in control of what's going on because if she even let's up, everything might unravel. She's holding on so tight. She's so strong in crisis. Be strong Mama.
This is messy! My heart breaks hearing her voice. I think selling the house would be a great idea because home prices are astronomical in most markets. I don't know about buying another house though. That is the same thing I'm trying to decide.
"He wasn't this guy when I married him." Yes, actually he was. As Dave said, he's always been this guy. People don't change. We just ignore the red flags. My heart goes out to this woman, but at the same time, she needs to accept that a mistake was made and move on with her life. Until then, she'll just always use it as an excuse for the situation she's in now. I know, because I was there once too.
I don’t agree with Dave on everything. This is one of them. My wife and I lived together for a few years before buying a house and getting married. I couldn’t imagine not living with a person before marrying them. I don’t care what anyone says, you don’t really know a person until you live with them. Maybe that’s just us, but we have a great marriage and it worked for us
So he has 4 kids with wife and a secret child and now living with a new sugar momma. Whew! This man has always been like this but was slick enough to hide it.
Dave possesses so much kindness, wisdom and practical guidance in this one clip. Great approach to decouple all the crazy into a manageable action plan!
This husband literally robbed his children of a normal upbringing by his idiotic & selfish actions. With no father present and the mother gone working, they’ll face the school of Hard Knocks. Sad.
I know that Dave advocates for mothers to stay at home once they have children but situations like this are exactly why it can be a bad idea. For a lot of men, being the sole breadwinner gives them a sense of control and creates a power imbalance in the relationship. They think "she can't leave because she needs me" and that makes think they can do whatever they want. This woman hadn't worked for several years, has four kids and now she's a single mom. Truly sad situation
Both my parents had full time jobs, and both did their fatherly and motherly duties and my siblings and I turned out well. I hate the one size fits all metric that some people live by
yeah but judging by the calculation on the mortgage he was paying 2735 a month thats easily a house that costs north of 500k yeah shes a single mom who is going to be getting a sizeable paycheck from the sale of that house and an additional 16800 from the father AT least there are plenty of single mothers who have it far far worse she has to work and spend less time with the kids better than not eating she needs to forget her old lifestyle and come to terms with things
Well there is always a chance of being in a car accident too, but does that mean you shouldn't drive? I think to get married you really have to know yourself and what makes you happy in life, and for some it is marriage, kids, and others maybe it is a dog or travel. Everyone is different, and you have to know yourself before you get to know a potential husband or wife.
Dear girl, please DO NOT give your horrible ex any more time with your children!! I’d Eat beans and rice 🍚 before I’d let my looser ex have them more. You can do this!! Take help when extended to you, for sure! ❤️♥️❤️♥️😘. Hang in there, and praying for you your kids, especially your older son!!!
@David H So you and @VARG Just missed the part where the 14 year old wanted to kill their self because of the dad breaking up his home... This isnt the type if dad the kids need.
Wow...That’s a lot. I wouldn’t give up custody though. The father isn’t in a good place apparently because he’s causing drama for himself and he’s living with this woman that isn’t his wife. Putting the kids in that environment would probably be toxic and cause further problems. Can family and friends help her with the children while she work and put the kids in an activity to keep their minds busy especially that 14 year old. I feel for this woman. I can hear the hurt in her voice. She needs support right now ( family and friends). 🙏
This lady 100% is the one I feel for the most (and I’ve watched practically all these videos). her positivity is so amazing. I’ll be praying for her. She deserves the world.
First things first This guy is a straight up and down D bag however what in the world does he do for a living that earns a 40 grand bonus asking for a friend of course...
@wayne kerr Maybe not. Guy's that cheat on their wife, will also cheat on their gf, and if it happens it will probably cost him his job as well as money. Some guys think with the little head instead of the big head.
2:36 Dave: "He has always been this guy" I remember Dave giving a millionaire guy advice on how to avoid gold diggers. He said to have your family be a filter. This should be the same for your significant other. If your parents, family, and friends do not like your significant others LISTEN, give them the benefit of the dought. Then take a step back and observe.
It's been a while since one of these clips has really pulled me in and made me feel emotional like this. I'd like to give Claire a hug and sock that cheating ex of hers right in the face. "It's Dave or me" made my blood boil. What a garbage human being. Your spouse comes to you wanting to turn your finances around and get on the right track so you can have hope for the future, and you just tell them that if they do that you're going to leave. Ugh. You've got this Claire, just keep going forward a step at a time and you'll walk through this, and once you're out on the other side you'll feel much better.
I almost started crying in my throat for this lady and her family! Praying for you all to move through this and healed emotional, and financially and spiritual sound on the other side.
Wow everyone is talking about the husband but in the call, she mentioned her 14 year old kid is suicidal? Gosh an affair, money problems, family relationships, more debt with her sibling. She’s living in stress. I can feel the pain just hearing this, I really wish her the best.
People hide things really well. My devoted ex a hard working man working over time man. Came home smelling like work and sweat man had time to cheat on me between gym sessions at 430 am in the morning. I have no faith in relationships and been single for 4 years now and I can’t be happier.
This poor woman 🥺 due to her husbands wrong doings, her life completely flipped upside down. I commend her determination and strength. I hope she is in a better place today.
This is why you don’t become a housewife or marry for money. When one person has all the money they also have all the power. When the relationship ends (which most do) the person with no money loses.
Once the child does the hard work & mom cries & yells so much to herself it will be better after a few months. Her child will say they can't do it, they do it. You're gonna make it. My daughter is about 8 months free of suicidal thoughts & cutting.
Ex hubby is a real piece of work. It takes a total scumbag to hide a whole other life from your family. I hope this lady and the kiddos get through this mess.
Great advice I was told before I became a SAHM: always be ready to be the breadwinner in case your husband cannot support the family. I have my degree and work experience, but enjoy the SAHM life, thanks to God.
i just want to give her a hug. this woman has been through so much i applaud her for sticking through this and being as strong as possible. you got this girl, keep pushing!!!
It’s amazing how easily some people hide things. I can’t even hide my Oreos in the cupboard above the fridge without someone finding them.
Hide them in the underwear drawer.
I know that's right!!!
My son was just spelunking in the cabinet for the Captain Crunch yesterday morning.
I'm like baby boy, we don't do that sugary stuff on school days. He just gettin' his Indiana Jones on.
😂 lol
Well, when you give up all your hiding spots then of course everyone will find them. Now we all know where you hide your Oreo cookies! LOL
GearShots lol. 💀
Wow, my problems got really small this morning 😭 this poor poor woman. My heart goes out to her!
thinking the same
Mine too, & things aren't great for me now.
I feel so sad for her!!😭😭
Mine goes out to the youngest child.
Poor? She kept the house. The car. The kids. Bonus money that she didn't even work for. She's not poor she just needs to realize that now things have changed and she can't afford to continue living the rich life she had. Example. I could never afford a 2000 dollar mortgage. So I don't. Easy. And why did they plan kids if they had debt besides the house? People need to plan their lives better. Everyone wants to live like a king.
when a marriage counselor tells you to divorce you know its bad.
Exactly! They typically do all they can to keep you together
@Traveling Guy Amen
those marriage counsellor don't know anything... about marriage.. if u have a marriage problem what one should do it to go to the originator
You know you need a new counselor
That's when the marriage counselor wants your man.
When she said her son wanted to suicide bc his dad left 😭why would you want to put your children through that. No side chick comes above your child’s happiness. The husband is a traitor.
He betrayed not only his wife, but also his daughter by using the kid as a pawn to manipulate the situation. I would definitely make a CPS report.
Raymond Jennings, NEVER involve CPS; they are, too often, a very evil entity. Research it. They destroy families and worse.
The power of the ring overcame him. (The ring is balls)
@Bestgirl
For real. It's such an incredibly selfish thing to do. I don't know how cheaters sleep well at night, especially when they are leaving behind people who depend on them.
Man. When she said “I’m actually pretty lucky” I about lost it. People that can appreciate the good in their life in a situation like that are really inspiring.
She’s also lucky he no longer lives in the home, at least she doesn’t have to deal with him constantly.
@Arwyn That's true. A lot of women in this situation have a broke ex-husband.
Wow😭😭😭
It's more like a human coping mechanism. And it's healthier than not feeling that way.
Sometimes these comments are about an inability that people have to feel their own pain and sit with it. They don’t have the emotional bandwidth to admit their own suffering!
What a husband... instead of just getting a divorce years ago and doing the right thing, he destroyed multiple lives. What a piece of work.
It takes 2 to tango. I guarantee the wife is equally to blame.
I’d love to hear his side.
@@artz9643 i got my eye on you buddy
I'm sure neither are saints.
@@artz9643 He might have every reason to leave her, but he was a coward not to do it before cheating. Cheating is never ok.
Stay strong sister, I was in your position 4 years ago with 7 kids,now paid off my house, credit card and by next month paying off my car.
I paid off my car and saved 40k.
💪
Who did you get to pay for all that stuff?
✊🏽✊🏽✊🏽👏🏽
💯👌👍👏🙏
ChipZilla69 just living less than a make.
This is so sad. Hearing the pain in her voice is heartbreaking. God bless this woman. ❤️
Unfortunately you're only getting her story. You don't know the whole truth.
@@artz9643 u sound like a man that knows the whole truth
@@roncur I am open minded. I'm not an emotional baboon. I wait until I've seen all the facts. You might want to try it sometimes.
@@artz9643 I was really hoping that you were the husband and you were going to reveal some bombshell you really let me down here buddy.
@@roncur even if a bombshell was revealed, you're probably not mature enough to understand. You really should go back to coloring with your crayons.
What kind of woman wants a man who left his wife with the kids and had a mystery kid on the side? Girlfriend can have him.
He probably left claire because of how crazy and unstable she is.
@@artz9643 Possibly, but what indicates to you that Claire is that way at all. We don't know the whole truth, of course, but she didn't sound like she twisted facts at all. She's grateful for what she has and is dealing with a wild amount of betrayal.
Pamela Cantrell she'll cheat on the gf as well when she's on the second or third kid. These people never change. Never get together with a cheater. They'll cheat on you as well
Ya never know the whole story
Maybe the girlfriend is the person he had the other kid with.
Father God, I pray for restoration for Claire and her children right now. I pray that finances and miracles flow to her immediately in Jesus Name. I pray she and the kids rely on you for everything, because you are her God. Thank you Lord!
67k a year tax free sounds like she has plenty of finances flowing to her. She's bad with money. Shes in a house she cant afford is main issue
Amen
Amen! 🙏🏽
Not a Christian, but I'll pray for her too. May the gods guide her and her family, and may they punish her faithless husband. May his family turn their faces away from him and towards his victim and her family. May she find warmth in the embrace of her god, and may her family reach new heights in the years to come.
Amen!!
Husband is on the alternative “baby” steps
Haha, that's a good one!
You win.
Alternative facts right here
🤣🤣🤣
Jack, you're a savage 😂😂
There are calls that make me more thankful for my simple life. This is one of them...
Was just thinking the same thing...😩😩
Exactly
No doubt
Amen
I agree ! Praying for her tho.🙏🏾
You can hear the pain in her voice. 💔 Provide strength,Lord.
Ameen
He's never been this quiet.
Very true
He’s probably thinking what he would do to that guy.
There are no words for this really 💔
I think that what she needed ...
Yea and he said don't pay off your debt right now.
I can't imagine being a Dad that did something that made my child try to commit suicide. I'd want to die if that happened to me.
Yea, what a piece of work.
Hope that young Homewreker Woman doesn't rob him of all his money lol.
Have no clue how that father would EVER be able to look that child in the face and tell him I love him. Im a mom and my child comes FIRST.
Jokes on him!
His new girl controls his income. That won't work out very well when they fight and break up someday
I was thinking that. He’s a stupid man
She is pretty stupid too. If he cheated on his wife he will cheat on the mistress...if he doesn't already have other girlfriends these two women don't know about
@@randallN-sw6ee Just means he was better at hiding it then. People don't change like that.
💯👌👍👏 agree, if he end's things with her he'll be on real hard times. no job, place to stay, car etc. sounds like his bonus was set-up because of how things are going with his daughter.
@@randallN-sw6ee I think the point was the new chick absolute knows he cheated on the old wife, and so, she is the stupid one.
Listening to her speak makes me feel like this woman is going to be OK
Really? Because I got a pretty strong feeling of the exact opposite
It is temporary. Every situation stays for awhile.
Yeah.
Yes it seems like she is fighting for her kids. That is keeping her going.
@@ianfitchett2768 Her husband sounds rich. Shell be ok
I’m convinced that 90% of the worlds problems could be solved by choosing the right partner to procreate with at the right time.
Preach. I agree too. 99% is the number
Or choosing NONE. This whole call made me glad I still do not have children OR a wife at age 42. If there's one thing that's certain, it's that you can be certain you have NO IDEA when someone is going to have a midlife crisis and take his/her own path... AT YOUR EXPENSE.
Yes but you need a crystal ball.
She said he was a different man at the beginning.
@@nebulonv6015 I concur, me as well at 41 yrs old. I'm happily SANE & single with savings.
This has me in tears 😢 the pain of an outside baby, divorce, and a suicidal child. Hope she’s doing much better now
Leaving his kids for fear of living on the street and eating rice & beans while he's f#&ing around is infuriating. I sure hope she feathered him of every penny possible in child support and alimony and if not, she sure should do so.
Exactly why women need to focus on their own career as well. You never know what can happen. Pray for the best but be prepared for the worst when marrying someone because some people change.
MS JAY Yes! People Change.
You right on that!
Yes! And always save money independent of your partner because you never know when they will leave you high and dry
Ty so true also have some money saved away don’t tell him just keep with away just in case things turn badly.
The thing is people show you who they are long before. Some just choose to continue on the road for some reason....
the truth is..
you can’t depend on anyone else besides yourself.
Think Money It’s unfortunate but true.
I strongly disagree with that statement because it’s proves untrue all the time.
Say that again for all the stay at home parents w/ little career skills and background
Whitney W. Lol!
Agreed
At her kids ages, I would consider after school programs for child care instead of trying to give the creep more custody. Just my opinion.
Tammohawk ABSOLUTELY!!!!
They aren't free anymore
Exactly
Why be vindictive? Despite his wrong doings, no one deserves not to see their kids.
@@teebone2157 nope but boys and girls club is pretty affordable and some public schools have free after school tutoring ect
My heart goes out to Claire, she's going through so much! I just know she's come out of it as a strong woman!
Harry Smith Thanks!
@@Erika2 you don't know the whole story. You only heard her side of it. You don't know the whole truth or what he's going through.
@@artz9643 whats up dude what's your angle??
Poor woman always have your own never know with man theses days
@@roncur There is no angle. My statement was worded quite clearly. What's the matter, don't know how to read at an elementary school level?
4 years later I’m wondering how she‘s doing. Yes, she was devastated, but she sounded intelligent and capable. Really hope she and her kids are ok now.
Regret and guilt are real. My father abandoned us when we were little and left my mom with five kids, mortage, bills, etc. It was a struggle. Later on, he tried to talk to us and I talked to him just because my mom taught me better. Needless to say, when he got sick, no one really cared. He died and I didn't even shed a tear.
Im so sorry you didnt know the full love of a caring father. You had the person but he couldnt do the job. Mines gone and I miss him so much. Take care.
Mine to gone I really miss him in a better place He with the Father Jesus Christ. Amen 💯🙌 ⏫️
yeah, no care for men like that.
I’m sorry for your loss. I’m glad he at least reached out trying to have a relationship, eventually.
Yes, he was "that guy" when you married him, you just didn't see it and/or he hid it very well. Hope the caller is in a much better place today.
Yep... their are always red flags...
My heart is broken... The desperation in her voice is raw... May God bless her with strength to pass through this painful situation.
Nice job Dad. Way to set a great example for your kids, especially your sons. My supervisor just found out something very similar with her husband of 12 years and now they’re in the middle of a divorce. If you can’t stay faithful, don’t get married
I agree it sets a terrible example for the kids and uproots them for no reason. I'm sorry about your supervisor
Committing adultery should be a crime because he ruined this woman and children’s lives.
while i agree with the sentiment he is essentially paying her 50k a year and she makes 19k and judging on the mortgage calculation the house value is somewhere north of 500,000 she will be fine she just needs to accept a lower lifestyle
It used to be and needs to be
@@williamfranklin5152do you think their lives are "ruined" bc she has to deflate her lifestyle? Did you not hear that she was betrayed by the one person committed to doing life? That her son tried killing himself bc of his father's behavior? That these children have siblings they'll likely never know as family?
And their lives aren't even ruined. They will come back from this, but this is about way more important things than money
@@aisherwasher6959 I agree, life isn't all about money, that's not what all women care about! lmaoo I feel so bad for the family torn apart by this
It used to be a crime in many states. I wish it still was, but my ex wife doesn't wish for that.
This is why I have taught my three daughters to never depend on a man for financial support
Amen
you'll raise three women who dislike men... Why? because you have told them men will abuse them if given the opportunity. Hope your three harpies get therapy
That’s sound advice. If you depend on other people for food, water, and shelter, some people will feel like they own you. But I guess some insecure men want that.
@@puppy3908 where did you read in my msg that I said for them to dislike men and men will abuse them?? Are you really that stupid?? I tough my daughters to have their own careers, own transportation ect... they were tought to never depend on a man to be their only financial support to be self supportive if it ever needed to come to that.
That's probably a bit of a mistake.
If you can't handle being with one person for the rest of your life, don't get married!!
Amen
@Anne Day I agree, if you're not happy in your marriage, seek counseling. If all else fails, get out.
Some people get married and cheat before marriage and continue cheating. I don't think you should marry anyone who cheats on you before marriage...ever...because they know you are the desperate kind and will stay no matter what they do and forgive them.
@@fabulouslifeinchrist1349 I totally agree and I have met people who married anyway. But I've also met people who didn't know until after marriage, which totally sucks!
They always find excuses for cheating.
This is exactly why I will teach my daughter and 2 sons not to depend on ANYONE else.
@MissZoey007 they were married for 20 buckoes, what does birth control has to do with anything? this is about having a financial safety net if someone screws you over.
Except for to bring your food to the grocer, clean your water, fix your streets, make sure gas is at a pump, etc. Hmmm I guess we all rely on other people everyday. I hope they get use to living in the wilderness somewhere. Rough.
@MissZoey007 first of all, you're correct, my english still needs some work.
secondly, what does africans and orientals have to do with this, it's not our fault you people aren't having children, and if you do have em, you end up abandoning them and having the government force you to pay for your own children's upbringing.
MissZoey007 your racism is showing. Orientals shouldn’t be used for Asians. Your English grammar is not the best - you forgot your commas.
ZeB 8 more than her word choice was racist about that entire comment.
This is why I would NEVER be upset at women who have personal security funds and assets because when something like this happens, the man just picks up, leaves and starts over while she deals with the heavy load. Forget that. Women, ALWAYS be prepared and sleep with one eye that opens every once in a while so you can rest.
Abwj1002 w I’m not talking about hiding assets during a divorce. I’m talking about stashing away during marriage.
Abwj1002 w I hear what you’re saying. The person who cheats deserves nothing so it’s going to be a fight.
Always have a prenup that protects his and hers assets equally. Don't get stuck paying someone to be your ex.
It’s a two-way street, by the way. Women are perfectly capable of doing this to men. In marriage, he/she not yours. It’s just your turn.
BreS THIS!! Thank you for this message
How could he do that to her? She birthed and raised four of his children. Some people have no heart.
Yeah. I can't even imagine going through something like that
@krvnjrcbs nothing makes what he did ok. He isn't even thinking about his kids. F him
This is my worst nightmare. Some people are horrible people and great liars.
Someone tells me to choose financial responsibility or them, bye. It's not like buying a Toyota vs a Lexus, it's the attitude... we all have to retire one day and I don't plan on eating Ramen noodles 3 times a day.
Right. What kind of choice is that? Most of these men complain about money hungry wives and he has one that is trying to make sure yall have some money for the future.
So true!!!
@@Kelaine72 it probably had nothing to do with money. Those weird ultimatums are usually the person trying to hold control over their spouse. She was pushing for something that would give her independence, so he had to step in.
Not even about the choice that she was given. It was the fact that he gave her an ultimatum in the first place. Total freaking narcissist
I get what you mean. Although part of it is you can be somewhat mentally unstable in this situation and just have someone to talk to helps a lot.
I wasn’t ready for this kind of call. Wow.
Real rough.
The part where her voice broke when she asked about giving up more custody of her kids 😭 the pain you feel when you’re facing giving up time with your own children is heartbreaking
😢😢😢😢
I felt sadder when she said her 14 year old tried to commit suicide after they divorced. 😢
This is the first call where I just started balling.... Dave hasn’t even said word yet and I’m in tears. Hugs and prayers for this mama and her babies 😭❤️
None for the other child!? And why is that?
Ruby Parchment I’m sorry... what?
@@threexladi All of them honey, she has a heart big enough for everybody. Including you.
I’m so sorry for this woman. My aunt went through a similar situation and she is happier than ever before at the moment. Stay strong.
Claire, it gets easier, I know it's tough now, but don't sacrifice the time with your children to make more money. If they need you around. Wait till they're older. Love from London 💓💓💓
Is it better to be homeless?
@Far Above Rubies Are you against men not working to stay home with the children? Do you value children in that way?
Yes!
Clare Hill I’m sure she doesn’t mean it. She’s in a confused state and thinking aloud. It’s a tough situation she’s in. I pray God delivers her 🙏🏽
@The RUclips Critic parents pay for everything you have listed over here too. You get a certain amount of help from the government if you are on a low income. And you would hopefully get paid child maintenance from your ex.
Caller: “Dave I do rice, beans, eggs and spaghetti”
Dave: “Cut out the eggs and spaghetti”
Yayy Areaa 🤣 ROFL
😂😂😂😂😂👍
Ish beans and rice is not enough. Uncle Ben’s or perish.
Lol hes like pun intended
😭😭😅😂🤣💀💀💀💀💯👏👍👌
I felt like I was being flushed down a long toilet for the first 2 minutes of this call. I’m glad I found Dave at a young age.
Look for a divorce lawyer.
Lol I keep seeing you everywhere 👀
A long toilet? 😂
Same thing happened to me. I had a divorce in less than 45 days!! I got the house, downsized and me and my son are sitting pretty. I'm so lucky and know most people are destroyed one way or another in divorce. I was emotionally ruined due to the betrayal. I don't know if I will EVER trust again. Cheating ruins lives people.
45 days and you got the house i wonder who really came out of the situation better
Well I'm a grown man and this almost brought me to tears. All I can think of is my momma. I wish I could tell her how much her kids will love her for what she's going through now.
Aaaannd that's why I'm single and work hard. This kind of betrayal I wish on no one!
himynameiscyn yep you never know when it will happen to you when you get in a relationship the way to not go through this is to stay single.
I am here for you when u need a man.
Lol ^ 😂
The worst part is that it is common. Men and women are not that good individuals and not sure why they get into relationships for?
himynameiscyn i wish there was a middle ground between having someone in your life to be close 2 but just don't belong 2 them. Ride the waves when things are good.
When goes south save yourself and be done...
I wish that was easier DONE than SAID
Just want to hug this woman. Stay strong, you can do it.
I am praying for Claire that God will give her daily bread, and renewed strengthen along with peace.
Lord comfort her heart and the childrens and supply all of their needs according to your riches and glory Amen. (Prayer changes things )
I'm agreeing with you in Jesus name. 🙏
You're sweet
Could you please also pray for all the children starting to death in Africa? I think they've been needing some daily bread for quite a while. Would be great to see it change!
Beautiful prayer! God bless you!
Amén
She will do fine. Him on the other hand. He will get his. You reap what u sow. 🥺
My heart breaks for this woman. You can just hear in her voice the resolve, the dedication and the determination to soldier through this. But she's shattered.
Dr.Dave Ramsey is what it should be called .
No because Dave is always so one sided in these situations. He doesn't even know the full story. He never heard the husband's side of it.
@@artz9643 He can only deal with the person requesting the help and from my hundreds views to Uncle Dave's show. He don't look at WHO is Right but he focus on WHAT is Right .
@@shannonsmith5421 that's exactly my point. Dave can't know who's right because he doesn't have all the facts. He's only getting one side of the story. It's ok for him to offer advice to the caller. It's not ok to pass judgement against another person when you don't have a clue what's the whole situation.
@@artz9643 Amen .
Ha, I thought she called him Uncle Dave.
Father needs to worry about his kids mental health above everything else.
That probably means getting sole custody. That Claire sounds very unstable.
@@johnmiller6403 You can tell how hurt women are when they keep mentioning the other woman. That woman is not your concern your child is.
Including that of the youngest child.
What a horrible (ex) husband. This woman & children are reaping the devastation of his conduct. This poor lady has to keep her head above water & NOT have a breakdown in order to move toward a better financial future. That is NOT easy. I wish for this lady & her children all the happiness their heart & arms can hold.
A father like that cares only about himself and will only ever care about himself
Sell the house, take your half, rent the cheapest (safest) apartment you can find and live off the house money/ savings money while you get a better paying job. Dont be afraid to “downsize”.
If she lowers her overhead - the ex will petition the court to lower his contribution.
Plus the kids will have more upheaval.
Try to stay till younger doesn't need a sitter after school...
SunshineLaw Fan very true, but, I would rather live a simple/ low cost life to get on my feet again rather than milk my ex and continue to squeeze by.
SunshineLaw Fan better to live more simply and not be dependent on that POS ex anymore. Requiring his money to get by is not a good answer to anything. Making her bills small and manageable is the best way forward.
@Coffee AtMidnight - right! People act like HE didnt create this mess to begin with and he isnt responsible for the family he created
Quick question. Why does she say she can't afford the mortgage of 2735 a month when it is the ex-husband who pays it? Is it that he's no longer obliged to pay after the divorce is finalized or something?
That is my question
The math aint mathing
The ex husband pays 4k a month for 2 kids. Mortgage + 1.4k support
Even his bonus goes to the ex wife.
HOW does she have problems??
I am really confused
I wish every caller made as much sense as this lady. I also wish her well. That is a terrible situation.
So sorry to hear about your situation. Praying all unfolds well for you and your children. Stay strong, you never know what good God can create from even the worst situations.
Man heard this one on the podcast this morning and Jesus. That’s got to be rough.
What a terrible experience.
Ada Esther Argueta right.
Please just rent a place. Get a 3 bedroom you'll be fine. See if you can work full time and have the dad take the kids to therapy. These children are his responsibility too. Work Monday-Friday and have weekends and holidays off with the kids until your stable then adjust your schedule to how you like it
You can hear how she can't even allow herself to get too emotional. She's so in control of what's going on because if she even let's up, everything might unravel. She's holding on so tight. She's so strong in crisis. Be strong Mama.
Claire needs so much more than financial advice ❤ Thanks Dave for empathy and wholistic advice
Dave's right God saw this coming and already has a way out planned.
Amen!
Which god?
Probably one of the 4,000. Then again, there could be a god that no one knows about.
If there's a God, what makes you think he has a way out planned? Lots of people don't have happy endings, and many of them believe and pray to God.
@@PositivelyBrainwashed We don't always know his reasons
I don’t even believe in god but I’m praying for this woman
Chris M who are you praying to?
@@vineyardprophecy5073 Good question!
Sounds like you do believe!
@@nhgriff1 Chris clearly just made a joke you people lol
@@valeriavagapova ....it didn't sound like a joke 🤔
This has to be the most heartbreaking call I’ve ever heard to Dave 🙁 this poor woman
I love how compassionate Dave is with these types of calls! God bless this woman and her children. Praying especially for her oldest son.
I'd hire a babysitter before I let a man like that around my children.
This is messy! My heart breaks hearing her voice. I think selling the house would be a great idea because home prices are astronomical in most markets. I don't know about buying another house though. That is the same thing I'm trying to decide.
"He wasn't this guy when I married him." Yes, actually he was. As Dave said, he's always been this guy. People don't change. We just ignore the red flags. My heart goes out to this woman, but at the same time, she needs to accept that a mistake was made and move on with her life. Until then, she'll just always use it as an excuse for the situation she's in now. I know, because I was there once too.
Honestly, some men are good at hiding things. Women dont realize how most men think, thats the issue
I don’t agree with Dave on everything. This is one of them. My wife and I lived together for a few years before buying a house and getting married. I couldn’t imagine not living with a person before marrying them. I don’t care what anyone says, you don’t really know a person until you live with them. Maybe that’s just us, but we have a great marriage and it worked for us
Guess Dave doesnt REALLY believe in ghe power of the Lord. People CAN change, if they want to!!
So he has 4 kids with wife and a secret child and now living with a new sugar momma. Whew! This man has always been like this but was slick enough to hide it.
Dave possesses so much kindness, wisdom and practical guidance in this one clip.
Great approach to decouple all the crazy into a manageable action plan!
This husband literally robbed his children of a normal upbringing by his idiotic & selfish actions. With no father present and the mother gone working, they’ll face the school of Hard Knocks. Sad.
I know that Dave advocates for mothers to stay at home once they have children but situations like this are exactly why it can be a bad idea.
For a lot of men, being the sole breadwinner gives them a sense of control and creates a power imbalance in the relationship. They think "she can't leave because she needs me" and that makes think they can do whatever they want.
This woman hadn't worked for several years, has four kids and now she's a single mom. Truly sad situation
A man that tjinks like that, wasntbinvested ti begin with, a controller, selfish!
Both my parents had full time jobs, and both did their fatherly and motherly duties and my siblings and I turned out well. I hate the one size fits all metric that some people live by
yeah but judging by the calculation on the mortgage he was paying 2735 a month thats easily a house that costs north of 500k yeah shes a single mom who is going to be getting a sizeable paycheck from the sale of that house and an additional 16800 from the father AT least there are plenty of single mothers who have it far far worse she has to work and spend less time with the kids better than not eating she needs to forget her old lifestyle and come to terms with things
The possibility of a situation like this is why I never had an appetite for marriage and kids.
Well there is always a chance of being in a car accident too, but does that mean you shouldn't drive? I think to get married you really have to know yourself and what makes you happy in life, and for some it is marriage, kids, and others maybe it is a dog or travel. Everyone is different, and you have to know yourself before you get to know a potential husband or wife.
Ruby Parchment I’m going to have to keep my eyes open the next time I get gas.
Agreed. Its so hard to trust people anymore
@@HamiltonRb Well duh.
@@Elizabeth-yg2mg "duh" ? You put a lot of thought into that, maybe best you stay single
Dear girl, please DO NOT give your horrible ex any more time with your children!! I’d Eat beans and rice 🍚 before I’d let my looser ex have them more. You can do this!! Take help when extended to you, for sure! ❤️♥️❤️♥️😘. Hang in there, and praying for you your kids, especially your older son!!!
Or get her family to help with sitting...he is not a role model.
LOL! You think taking that kid away from daddy is a good thing you're sorely mistaken. That's an amazing way to ruin your kids lift
Nan - you care not about the hidden child, do you?
@David H So you and @VARG Just missed the part where the 14 year old wanted to kill their self because of the dad breaking up his home... This isnt the type if dad the kids need.
Wow...That’s a lot. I wouldn’t give up custody though. The father isn’t in a good place apparently because he’s causing drama for himself and he’s living with this woman that isn’t his wife. Putting the kids in that environment would probably be toxic and cause further problems. Can family and friends help her with the children while she work and put the kids in an activity to keep their minds busy especially that 14 year old. I feel for this woman. I can hear the hurt in her voice. She needs support right now ( family and friends). 🙏
Great comment. I had these same thoughts, and you laid it all out!
This woman is a warrior, dear God please see her and her babies through this!
This lady 100% is the one I feel for the most (and I’ve watched practically all these videos). her positivity is so amazing. I’ll be praying for her. She deserves the world.
Ohh boy this is a complete disaster of a situation hopefully she works everything out.
First things first This guy is a straight up and down D bag however what in the world does he do for a living that earns a 40 grand bonus asking for a friend of course...
His boss, apparently.
@@RedTop-yo4ds well played....
@@RedTop-yo4ds he must be good at it
used his sweet talking powers on his boss somehow 😏🤭
@wayne kerr Maybe not. Guy's that cheat on their wife, will also cheat on their gf, and if it happens it will probably cost him his job as well as money. Some guys think with the little head instead of the big head.
2:36 Dave: "He has always been this guy"
I remember Dave giving a millionaire guy advice on how to avoid gold diggers. He said to have your family be a filter.
This should be the same for your significant other. If your parents, family, and friends do not like your significant others LISTEN, give them the benefit of the dought.
Then take a step back and observe.
The guy cheated on a woman who had 4 of his kids? That’s just disgusting.
Isn't dating your boss a conflict of interest? That's really unethical and both of them can be fired for that.
Happens in a lot of work places
Depends whose interest you're talking about.
It's been a while since one of these clips has really pulled me in and made me feel emotional like this. I'd like to give Claire a hug and sock that cheating ex of hers right in the face. "It's Dave or me" made my blood boil. What a garbage human being. Your spouse comes to you wanting to turn your finances around and get on the right track so you can have hope for the future, and you just tell them that if they do that you're going to leave. Ugh.
You've got this Claire, just keep going forward a step at a time and you'll walk through this, and once you're out on the other side you'll feel much better.
I almost started crying in my throat for this lady and her family! Praying for you all to move through this and healed emotional, and financially and spiritual sound on the other side.
Divorce him right away. Right now. RIGHT NOW.
Wow everyone is talking about the husband but in the call, she mentioned her 14 year old kid is suicidal? Gosh an affair, money problems, family relationships, more debt with her sibling. She’s living in stress. I can feel the pain just hearing this, I really wish her the best.
People hide things really well. My devoted ex a hard working man working over time man. Came home smelling like work and sweat man had time to cheat on me between gym sessions at 430 am in the morning. I have no faith in relationships and been single for 4 years now and I can’t be happier.
I’m Praying for you Claire...... 🙌🙌🙌🙌
I'm praying for the kids. They are the only innocent ones. Claire is probably equally to blame for this mess.
I'm praying for the hidden child.
Why is there a custody battle? Any competent lawyer would destroy this man in a heartbeat.
This woman sounds so incredibly on top of this disaster. Bless her and her family
This poor woman 🥺 due to her husbands wrong doings, her life completely flipped upside down. I commend her determination and strength. I hope she is in a better place today.
I would love to hear a future update on this lady. I know her testimony, once she get's through this storm, is going to be AWESOME.
Pretty sure this is not what Dave meant, when he was talking about baby steps.
Lol
That's nice to hoard all the cash u can. But dont let it ruin your relationship with ur sister and brother in law. Pay them
This is why you don’t become a housewife or marry for money. When one person has all the money they also have all the power. When the relationship ends (which most do) the person with no money loses.
💯 always have your own money. Money is power.
Ridiculous. Know who you are marrying. PS She isn't a housewife. She has a part time job. It prob took away from time with hubby. You don't know.
This is a terrible line of thought and way to live.
But she has all his money
@@mrgilmore6953 - not according to the call..!
I wish some of these people had a gofundme. :( My heart just aches for her & her child that is suicidal.
Once the child does the hard work & mom cries & yells so much to herself it will be better after a few months. Her child will say they can't do it, they do it. You're gonna make it. My daughter is about 8 months free of suicidal thoughts & cutting.
“Or should I give up more custody of my kids so I can get a part time job to earn more money” - that just broke my heart 🥺❤️
Saw the caption and clicked with the quickness!
Same reason women watch Lifetime and As the World Turns.
Ex hubby is a real piece of work. It takes a total scumbag to hide a whole other life from your family. I hope this lady and the kiddos get through this mess.
Great advice I was told before I became a SAHM: always be ready to be the breadwinner in case your husband cannot support the family. I have my degree and work experience, but enjoy the SAHM life, thanks to God.
i just want to give her a hug. this woman has been through so much i applaud her for sticking through this and being as strong as possible.
you got this girl, keep pushing!!!
He ruined his whole legacy!! His children! His wife! If someone be dammed should it not be him??! My goodness this story gave me chills.