I get it. I get it so much I feel it in my bones when you talk. Like my soul is screaming out that someone else has finally expressed it so well. That's as brave as I am to share today. But sending you much love from someone who is grateful you're talking about it. 💕
I can relate: more so to the self-loathing part, less to self-harm behaviors. I can remember being more aware of my self-loathing at certain times when I was doing something specific and there were less distractions. This didn't give me the urge to self-harm but instead do something to take my mind off it, e.g. watch a movie w/e (escapism). I did do some very very mild forms of self-harm when dealing with anxiety though. -L
Take this in the spirit in which it was intended. You have too much time on your hands. You’re fixating on problems. You’re thinking if I don’t have all these problems that I can talk about all the time, there’s no substance to me. I remember writing to you on facebook years ago when I was cutting. You’re partly the reason I stopped. I haven’t done anything in seven years. I died for five minutes in an er from exsanguination. I got better over a long time. I still think about it everyday, but I can get past that by not fixating on problems that may exist. Find the positive and accentuate it. You’re not the conglomeration of medical problems; you’re you. I became a RN to help those who are as I once was. It’s deeply rewarding work that is sometimes frustrating, sad and hard. Someday you may stand in front of God or another deity and be asked how come you were all of these things, but not Melissa? Food for thought.
Really, until this video I thought I was the only one... picked my skin since I was a teenager, mostly my face from hating it so much, but my arms too. Now at 44, really, feeling like a monster even more with these scars. Trying to work on it, finally started therapy but just wish to love myself a little bit
Hey Melissa, I've watched your videos for a few years now.. they have always meant so much to me. Sometimes it feels like you are the only one that really understands how it feels to live with this sort of trauma and deal with the daily stress of disassociation, self loathing, body dysmorphia.. I have a really difficult time identifying with my own face. I have been wearing a mask a lot lately and I even wear one in my house by myself for really bad days where I can't seem to handle seeing my face in the mirror or reflective surfaces. When I watch your videos it helps me so much, I don't feel so abnormal or alone. Thank you for being you, and being so open on your channel about your life and struggles. I think you are truly a beautiful wonderful person, and I thank you for being a light for me and others that are struggling too. I hope you get through this and start loving yourself. All the best
It has been a quit bit off hopping from one problem too the next Melissa the last couple off years, i have never heard that it can be so bad at all, but i hope you can control it, thnx for sharing you are very brave, i wish you good luck with the new job. Remember if you have scars or not they can"t hide the beauty inside, cause your eyes will show who you are. Love you :-)
I totally get it girl. Thanks for letting us know we r not alone, neither r u. I watched your videos since you joined RUclips and they have helped me tons , I appreciate your honesty and heart for others. If you ever want to chat you can always message me
I get it, but don't hurt your face or yourself you're so beautiful. You have a gorgeous face, a lovely personality, and a beautiful heart. But I get it. I just want you to hear the truth because sometimes we need others to remind us just how beautiful we really are. And YOU my friend are BEAUTIFUL. ❤️❤️❤️
Hi Melissa sorry I haven't commented in a long time. I been sick and had a few med changes. I got depressed and had to increase my haldol and Prozac. I dont have tourettes but I hear voices. When I am in public, I hear them and sometimes speak to them. Its embarrassing to have people look at me and then I hear them speaking to me but they are actually not. But I guess we should make use of ourselves and use our talents to show that we are actually a lot smarter than people think. I love you Melissa and I hope you get better. I will keep being positive and being one of your fans. Take care.
I have tried to rip my face off before... it's not that i didn't identify with my face but the fact that my face was *my* face... I just hated myself so much
I get it. My self harm was very different. I used to cut my fingernails to the point that they would bleed It was self harm, but I got over it. BTW. Great video.
Let's talk about it, Melissa... it's so important to talk about any form of self-hate because it's as real and as valid as any other emotion. I REALLY struggle with my self-image and when harming myself I have gone beyond the point of using it as a form of release. *POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING* I've done so much damage to my body in the past by just not caring about the consequences and the kind of thought process in more recent times when I'm in that headspace has been "I'm pathetic, I'm a failure, my life is over, I already hate my body so who cares?". I have a permanent red spot and "groove" in my forehead from taking the skin clean off, and have thought about attacking my face but I never went through with it. I'm SO SORRY that you did, that you've been hurting and struggling with dissociation... even though I don't dissociate very often at all I've lost my sense of identity. I don't know who or what I am anymore, I just have memories of the person that I used to be and desperately WANT to be... I don't really see the qualities I used to have within myself now. But I can't go back, all I HAVE is now. All apologies for not being in touch but know that I do think about you and I do care. ❤
Hey if you still have Dyskinesia you might be able to get rid of it by fasting! I tried it and my body parts stopped moving by themselves! If you need any details lmk!
Right before I saw this video, I clawed my arms off for the same reason. Because I hate myself and everything about me. It’s the only thing stopping me from going full on to leave this world. If I just claw off parts of me, than maybe I won’t be so awful. And it will keep me here another day. I don’t even know who I am anymore. How can I hate someone I don’t know, but I do. I hate her with such a ferocious anger. Maybe if the stupid part of me died, if I was able to get rid of her permanently, people would stop leaving me. I feel so utterly alone.
How are you, Melissa? You haven't posted in a while. Is everything alright? I suffer from severe ocd that has been impacting my life a lot. Therapy and medications didn't work so far, unfortunately.
I’m okay. Thank you for asking. I’ve just been dealing with a few issues, as well as packing up, moving and unpacking, but things are settling down. Im hoping to make some videos soon. I hope you find a solution to ease your symptoms. I know how tormenting OCD can be.
Your issue is not self harm. You have anger. Anger which is judgment leads to resentment and powers ALL your issues. You are condemning your self and others. Drop the anger.
spitfire getting to you? 'stupid girl?' it was me, but because I no longer had person, answer, or explanation for my anger then it had to be put on me good family is irreplaceable Edit: added to
@@IDrankTheSeaWater I hope my comment was not insultingly too forward it seemed to fit what you asked for 🧡 we are all victims of victims which is often hard to see yet does not have to pardon them rather, it takes bite out of their hurt
![FORTNITE CLASSICS IS BACK! Fortnite Item Shop [November 15th, 2024] (Fortnite Chapter 5)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RbQURbeFwqs/mqdefault.jpg)
You're such a beautiful human. Never forget that. You were created for a reason.
Heyyy!! Where have you been?..
I get it. I get it so much I feel it in my bones when you talk. Like my soul is screaming out that someone else has finally expressed it so well. That's as brave as I am to share today. But sending you much love from someone who is grateful you're talking about it. 💕
That means a lot. Thank you. 🌸
Thank you for sharing yourself as you always have it does help so many
Thank you so much 😊
I can relate: more so to the self-loathing part, less to self-harm behaviors. I can remember being more aware of my self-loathing at certain times when I was doing something specific and there were less distractions. This didn't give me the urge to self-harm but instead do something to take my mind off it, e.g. watch a movie w/e (escapism). I did do some very very mild forms of self-harm when dealing with anxiety though.
-L
Hey Melissa good to hear you are moving forward in life. I hope you are really enjoying living in BC its so beautiful over there
Its good to be near family 😊
Boards of Canada:Everything you do is a Petard?
Take this in the spirit in which it was intended. You have too much time on your hands. You’re fixating on problems. You’re thinking if I don’t have all these problems that I can talk about all the time, there’s no substance to me. I remember writing to you on facebook years ago when I was cutting. You’re partly the reason I stopped. I haven’t done anything in seven years. I died for five minutes in an er from exsanguination. I got better over a long time. I still think about it everyday, but I can get past that by not fixating on problems that may exist. Find the positive and accentuate it. You’re not the conglomeration of medical problems; you’re you. I became a RN to help those who are as I once was. It’s deeply rewarding work that is sometimes frustrating, sad and hard. Someday you may stand in front of God or another deity and be asked how come you were all of these things, but not Melissa? Food for thought.
Really, until this video I thought I was the only one... picked my skin since I was a teenager, mostly my face from hating it so much, but my arms too. Now at 44, really, feeling like a monster even more with these scars. Trying to work on it, finally started therapy but just wish to love myself a little bit
Hey Melissa, I've watched your videos for a few years now.. they have always meant so much to me. Sometimes it feels like you are the only one that really understands how it feels to live with this sort of trauma and deal with the daily stress of disassociation, self loathing, body dysmorphia.. I have a really difficult time identifying with my own face. I have been wearing a mask a lot lately and I even wear one in my house by myself for really bad days where I can't seem to handle seeing my face in the mirror or reflective surfaces. When I watch your videos it helps me so much, I don't feel so abnormal or alone. Thank you for being you, and being so open on your channel about your life and struggles. I think you are truly a beautiful wonderful person, and I thank you for being a light for me and others that are struggling too. I hope you get through this and start loving yourself. All the best
This means so much that you reach out to relate. I’m glad to be able to contribute something positive. Sending good thoughts your way 🌸
It has been a quit bit off hopping from one problem too the next Melissa the last couple off years, i have never heard that it can be so bad at all, but i hope you can control it, thnx for sharing you are very brave, i wish you good luck with the new job. Remember if you have scars or not they can"t hide the beauty inside, cause your eyes will show who you are. Love you :-)
I totally get it girl. Thanks for letting us know we r not alone, neither r u. I watched your videos since you joined RUclips and they have helped me tons , I appreciate your honesty and heart for others. If you ever want to chat you can always message me
I used to put degrading words in my skin out of self hate. Made sure sure some scarred.
You're such an awesome and amazing person.Just felt like letting you know.
I get it, but don't hurt your face or yourself you're so beautiful. You have a gorgeous face, a lovely personality, and a beautiful heart. But I get it. I just want you to hear the truth because sometimes we need others to remind us just how beautiful we really are. And YOU my friend are BEAUTIFUL. ❤️❤️❤️
Hi Melissa sorry I haven't commented in a long time. I been sick and had a few med changes. I got depressed and had to increase my haldol and Prozac. I dont have tourettes but I hear voices. When I am in public, I hear them and sometimes speak to them. Its embarrassing to have people look at me and then I hear them speaking to me but they are actually not. But I guess we should make use of ourselves and use our talents to show that we are actually a lot smarter than people think. I love you Melissa and I hope you get better. I will keep being positive and being one of your fans. Take care.
Kind thoughts your way 🌸
I have tried to rip my face off before... it's not that i didn't identify with my face but the fact that my face was *my* face... I just hated myself so much
I think about clay marzos mom talking about clay lives in the moment
Hello, good too hear you.
ma'am. i sent you the DSM's did you get the french DSM 5? i have it in my google drive under my video DSM.
Yeah? Will go see
I get it.
My self harm was very different.
I used to cut my fingernails to the point that they would bleed
It was self harm, but I got over it.
BTW. Great video.
You dealing with PTSD. I don't
Let's talk about it, Melissa... it's so important to talk about any form of self-hate because it's as real and as valid as any other emotion. I REALLY struggle with my self-image and when harming myself I have gone beyond the point of using it as a form of release. *POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNING*
I've done so much damage to my body in the past by just not caring about the consequences and the kind of thought process in more recent times when I'm in that headspace has been "I'm pathetic, I'm a failure, my life is over, I already hate my body so who cares?". I have a permanent red spot and "groove" in my forehead from taking the skin clean off, and have thought about attacking my face but I never went through with it. I'm SO SORRY that you did, that you've been hurting and struggling with dissociation... even though I don't dissociate very often at all I've lost my sense of identity. I don't know who or what I am anymore, I just have memories of the person that I used to be and desperately WANT to be... I don't really see the qualities I used to have within myself now. But I can't go back, all I HAVE is now. All apologies for not being in touch but know that I do think about you and I do care. ❤
Hey if you still have Dyskinesia you might be able to get rid of it by fasting! I tried it and my body parts stopped moving by themselves! If you need any details lmk!
I have Tourette tics, but starving isn’t a recommended solution
Right before I saw this video, I clawed my arms off for the same reason. Because I hate myself and everything about me. It’s the only thing stopping me from going full on to leave this world. If I just claw off parts of me, than maybe I won’t be so awful. And it will keep me here another day. I don’t even know who I am anymore. How can I hate someone I don’t know, but I do. I hate her with such a ferocious anger. Maybe if the stupid part of me died, if I was able to get rid of her permanently, people would stop leaving me. I feel so utterly alone.
There comes a point where you have to confront that voice in your head and say 'you're not right about anything'
Don't worry Melissa. I got your back. 🙂 .
I hope you're okay.
Iv watched a lot of your videos and I feel so sorry for you...you don't have to live like this it can be stopped
How are you, Melissa? You haven't posted in a while. Is everything alright?
I suffer from severe ocd that has been impacting my life a lot. Therapy and medications didn't work so far, unfortunately.
I’m okay. Thank you for asking. I’ve just been dealing with a few issues, as well as packing up, moving and unpacking, but things are settling down. Im hoping to make some videos soon. I hope you find a solution to ease your symptoms. I know how tormenting OCD can be.
do you have dermoticalmania
I think you mean Dermatillomania. I do have that, but this video was about another reason for skin picking
You can move in with me.....
Your issue is not self harm.
You have anger.
Anger which is judgment leads to resentment and powers ALL your issues.
You are condemning your self and others.
Drop the anger.
❤
spitfire getting to you? 'stupid girl?'
it was me, but because I no longer had person, answer, or explanation for my anger then it had to be put on me
good family is irreplaceable
Edit: added to
God Alive, Mel, why do so many of us grow up broken?
Good question…
Cuz the broken world breaks us
@@IDrankTheSeaWater I hope my comment was not insultingly too forward
it seemed to fit what you asked for 🧡
we are all victims of victims
which is often hard to see
yet does not have to pardon them
rather, it takes bite out of their hurt
Where are you!
Answering that soon. I will be making a video today or in the next few days. I’m doing well 🌸
🙋I so fill you on this✌ try to stay strong💞
Hey Melissa long time no speak❤️❤️❤️
Hi Heidi. Good to hear from you 🌸
Hey you😍😍
How r u doing
Doing ok. Been on the go quite a lot. But doing well. Thank you for asking. Hoping to make a video soon
@@IDrankTheSeaWater this is great to hear. I hope you’re still doing okay.
Very nice girl 🤗🤗🤗🤗🌹🌹
you're goregous