Why Setting Boundaries Makes You ATTRACTIVE AF
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- Опубликовано: 13 мар 2023
- Setting boundaries is EASY AF when you realize this one thing!
If you're ready to let go of your past and become emotionally free in 7 days or less, join my brand new challenge here: ➡️ www.AaronDoughty.com/7daychal... 
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My mantra this past week has been “I’m not responsible for other people’s emotions”
It's simple . Saying NO and telling people very calmly but sternly that you have boundaries and you need them to be respected shows that you have a strong sense of integrity .
Beautifully said. Such a poignant speaker. I remember that’s “their shit, not mine…even if I hurt your feelings.” If you love me, we will get over it
I have but I still love you and miss you so much I want to come see you ❤❤❤❤
You have problems in understanding love and hate? Why someone will set boundaries and not want to be around you, weik up and go. Boundaries means go out from my life becuze I cant stand you. There is no forgivness when the boundary is done. You must be delayed to hope for a conciliation in relation. Stay real!
Am I the only one whose mother taught them problem identification at A VERY young age ? Whose problem is it ?
I wish everyone had my mom's mothering , at least for a little while. She expected me to feel responsible for MY actions . And others to be responsible for theirs. That's why my husband's narcissism became his problem , while I released myself from that torture. Go back to kindergarten , and actually learn. And stop manipulating people to fill your roles , you make up. Like your mommy did. Did you not notice how much you hated it ? Enough to take it out on me covertly for 20 years ! Never got your way ? Never got good gifts ? Never got to 'do anything' ? DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON ME !
To all my people pleasers out there including myself, you’ll be amazed at how powerful you become when you set boundaries and say “no”. We often think people will laugh at our attempt to set boundaries, but you’ll be surprised how much respect you gain from those same people. Sending good vibes to everyone on their journey to healing! 🤍
I gotten there and I don't care that they respect me now.
Thank you 🤍 in the midst of this healing journey right now 💜
I remember my cousin set "boundaries" with me once and told me how she felt about how i treated her sometimes and intitially we stopped talking, but in the long run our relationship got better. Tbh i loved the fact that she stood up for herself and became som1 who stopped taking shit from ppl.
Wow this is really awesome and I love your attitude about speaking this highly of her for her standing up for herself and you being a proud cousin I love this energy you guys have keep it up... We are rooting for you and your family❤
Your a good person ❤
You are real ! 🙏
That’s so great!
I pray this happens with my 37 year old daughter. I FINALLY set boundaries with her. I can no longer be her therapist, ATM, venting "friend" or savior. She feels abandoned, and I have slept sooo much more peaceful. Though my heart is broken.
I think the most true statement in the world is that we teach people how to treat us. Setting boundaries is a very important aspect of training people how you want to be treated.
One of the many words of wisdom my mom told me growing up, she knew I was an empath too, and needed to hear this
@@mschlund1you are one of the few lucky 🍀 ones ! 🙏
This is so good. Women, especially - were raised to "be nice, and not upset people." This self-sacrificing martyrdom denied their own needs, silenced their voices, and didn't give them a place in the world, except for under the direction of a male figure - father, husband, clergy member. When we examine this historically - and generationally - it's sad but fascinating. ❤
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😑😲🙄
I’ve noticed has my self worth elevates my boundaries are naturally setting into place . ❤
Can you explain more…give examples? I’m at the point of my life where I wish to have this haha
I thought that was a mustache filter! 😂looks good man! Bless up!
I was like.. Is that a real mustache? So much darker than his normal one. I couldn't even hear what he was saying because the moustache distracted me!😅
Lol 😅 … I think it’s just more grown out, so looks darker
Same😂 @belle42
Absolutely correct. Setting boundaries gains the person that set them love and respect. ❤
Exactly Right! This is what I am currently working on and it comes down to caring and loving yourself!
I was just talking to my best friend yesterday about setting some boundaries in my current realtionship and you described me in a nutshell about me finding it hard to because I feel responsible for how they feel once I do. Crazy synchronicity, thank you!
In the past I have set certain boundaires and he wasn't happy but it did actually change our relationship for the better because he respected me more and was more attracted to me, (once the initial emotion of annoyance was out of his mind). Time to put myself first more!
So proud of you! This is an awesome idea and I wish you kids the best, God bless your union 💕
Setting boundaries is life changing! 🌞🎉
Sing it Aaron! Us empaths go round protecting others feelings (about their own behaviour and how we may feel about it) at expense of our own needs, wants. When I set boundaries, all hell broke loose in my (up til then unforeseen narc filled or just selfish person filled) life.. Doh.
YAS! I struggled to say “no” for the majority of my 38yrs on this earth, and when I finally decided to start setting healthy boundaries my relationships strengthened or dissipated, and now my life is so much more enjoyable 💜
Your video came right at the perfect time, love these synchronicities! Thank you for sharing this message ❤
I literally just finished a conversation setting a boundary and was feeling a bit bad then stumbled across your video. Thank you. 🙌
Thank you for sharing . I really needed to hear this today. Its a weird feeling setting boundaries but ultimately I know its a way of respecting myself.
Yes, sometimes we have to be reminded...
Thank you!
I just did that yesterday, and I struggled so much internally because they are a client of mine, and I have to see them every week, but I am SO glad I did it now! He responded with kindness and understanding, and I feel more empowered. I have struggled with boundaries my whole life, so this is a big deal to me! I wish I had seen your video last night, but it was still a great confirmation for me this morning.
Thank you!! 😊🙌
I always abandoned myself....no more wooooooo! I feel like super woman 😆😆😆🥰🥰🥰 Thank you 😊 🙏
Same. I would speak up but end up apologizing afterwards bc someone would try to blame shift amd make me feel bad for expressing myself.
I would try to fix it tp protect the connection but now I learned that only good hearted people will be kind in response and talk it over.
The ones who attack me verbally for communicating my boundary / concern will leave anyway, sooner or later.
Perfectly said ❤❤❤❤This is Why Aaron is my new favorite relationship Coach 🎉OMG this resonated with me so much especially the part where he said it's their problem for them not to respecting your boundaries, NOT YOURS, So that being said I'm going to Stop giving a Fuck about what these men needs and wants are and focus on mines most of the time until I see genuine reciprocation❤
Stach game on point! Now you need to be in an old western!!
😄😁😁👏👏
Brother preaching! I’m glad this short is getting attention. It came right on time!
it is actually kind to set boundaries it gives a person an opportunity to grow..
First step in loving yourself and living the life YOU want 💪💫☯️💖
This message is perfect timing, I set boundaries today and the person did not like it and they tried to make me feel bad. In the past I would have apologized even though I didn't do anything wrong, but I now know that's a trauma response of mine. I've done a lot of difficult healing work and am finally coming into my power. I finally let go of this person and am dealing with shedding this guilt. It's scary to let go, but also feels liberating when I can drop the guilt and realize I'm not responsible for how someone feels when I set a boundary.
On the money, exactly when I needed it!
From watching Aaron I stopped people pleasing so much, and I discovered that I don't even know who I am If I am not people pleasing!
Not your responsibility to please everyone , not your responsibility to abandon yourself while elevating others at your expense
I have struggled with this time and time again, I am an empath and I care way too much what people think. But I have been working on myself and so wish me luck as I set boundaries from now on! Good luck to you all!
You need a talkshow or podcast! Not sure if you have one as I'm new to your vids but you're very precise and take the patience to explain to others these types of things and it's really refreshing and genuine. Hope you're well and looking forward to more advice and healing. Thanks a bunch💫💫💯💯
This was a fun synchronicity! I spoke up about my concerns around your CBA program and got kicked out of the FB group. Thank you for showing me who you are 🙏🏻
What is CBA program?
Don’t abandon yourself. So true.
Let the local judges understand. Because when bullies don't like your boundaries they will cause legal problems..and they do .
We see your growth/ maturation!
Keep on on your upward bound trajectory. We're here for it, and appreciative of it! 🙏
Plus, proud of you ❣️🎁
So smart and clever regarding feelings and relationships. And it works 💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚
So thank you. I love you(dont worry its not the romantic kind but as a friend or something 😆 Im not trying to make this awkward but you get the idea. I love you as a person and for pointing out to me whats really obvious 😘 I just saw this short while having lunch (hello from tropical Manila🙋🏻♀)
And you just made things so crystal clear for me. Thank you and have a great day
Absolutely 🙌🏻 thank you Aaron ❤
I grew up not knowing how to set boundaries whatsoever. Several years ago, I took a course at my local behavioral health agency & when I needed to set a boundary with one of my sisters in law, it was easy to do … only because of the training I had gotten.
Thanks for posting this info, Aaron; you’re sharing for others what took me months to learn in the course. Love & blessings to us all as we BE come more of who we already are!! (human BEings, not human havings or human doings … human BEings!). ❤❤
Your videos help me getting true some heavy shit that I have been dealing with lately.
Well, hell to the yes! Right on. I have been feeling guilty for setting boundaries and am considering strengthening them. This makes me feel so much betttta! Thank you so much, Aaron!
That dyed mustache was such a clown move...glad you fixed that up. 😂
Was it dyed ? … I thought it was just grown out and naturally looked darker 😅
Epic truth set your higher self free with self-love 💚 Namaste, Beautiful Beings of light 🎉
Agreed! And a good reminder is setting boundaries means we take the action if boundaries crossed. I think a lot of peeps think they are setting boundaries when they actually expect the other person to change. That’s not boundaries that’s control. That was an aha for me at least…
This is a saying I came across years ago and try to apply it in my life. "I will never trade my authenticity for approval."
I finally said how I felt to my niece. She kicked me out of her home.
Totally worth it.
My boundaries are clear. I express kindness and generosity in unexpected ways. My power lies in detachment...I love knowing that people are always the kindest , always. As they realize I am detached and express my truths and I am clear well it is enchanting, refreshing, mistical and ebdearing...as I see someone behaving as people have been taught , possesive, jelous, fearfull, selfpittying...that is not my responsability to receive and that is the most clear way to distant me from them for I am no longer responding to fix, accept toxic behaviours from anyone..I dont nneed people but they think they need me...I absolutely feel compassionate but when it does not serve me I let go of those energies, situation with ease and choose me.
At first, when you start setting Boundaries… manipulators will accuse you of being passive aggressive. And, not calling it on the Spot.
However, Know that at Least you Stood up for yourself and Now they Know how you felt :) you Win & it raises your self esteem and self respect when you do so.
Thank you Aaron, well said 🙏🏿🙏🏿
it might not be my problem, but i can't just think that way. i wait on everyone hand and foot so that they won't have to get out of their comfortable spot. i want everyone to be happy
Thank you Aaron, your teaching is very helpful
One of my top 5 lessons for me in this life. Still mastering it. So true!
Yea exactly because I don’t want to ruin the fun or mood ..it’s easy to forget this boundary setting (and realise it healthy to set boundaries) and be stronger
Yes I am learning the value of setting boundaries now.Thank you
I got to go with the blue mustache for you.
is it a stick on mustache?
I'm only learning this now. Using I statements and expressing myself and my needs, making requests and declining offers or impositions
This is huge!! I’d never set a boundary in my life and boy did that not work out well for my life. I’m 55 and here to tell you this is extremely important. Set them and hold them tight and firmly in place. Always be kind but know people will push and push but that’s ok when you’ve done this correctly.
Look so cute with the dark goatee funny too
This guy is very intelligent on levels humans are not aware of yet
Thank you Arron you are appreciated
Amazing 👏
Needed to hear this love the shorts sending love and light have a blessed day everybody 🤗🙏🙌🙏🙌
When people like this were children and they tried setting boundaries, they were beaten, yelled at , and told they were "too sensitive"
Please keep doing videos like this, I need this knowledge and support.
I remember asking the therapist how many chances do you give someone. She said one!
I said dam I’m going to be really lonely.
She said try it.
And I promise my life has improved so much instantaneously.
Exactly! And I pay such a high price now when I don’t honor my own boundaries, instead of sticking to my boundary last Friday about not wanting to do something because I needed sleep instead I felt guilty as if I was in the wrong when the other responded with sulking and feeling insecure. I ended up only sleeping for 3 1/2 hours and I’ve been sick ever since. All my responsibilities got pushed into next week when I was really needing it to be a light week because of a medical procedure I’m having done and now I’m screwed because all those demands that I needed to do in the last few days has to be done right before my procedure. It’s my fault though, I didn’t stick to my guns and now I’m feeling resentful. Next time I’ll choose to deal with the discomfort of displeasing someone and they have to deal with their insecurities and find a way to find that strength within myself because this has been my pattern my entire life and once that resentment sets in it’s not much longer before I don’t want to be in the relationship anymore.
Giving others a chance to transform is better but it should be based on their capability to transform instead of thinking to see them transformed within ur time limit as it creates pressure & stress and that looses fun of the journey as situations and body type can differ & very from person to person so criteria should be based on others capability & situations as what they were versus how they are now while focusing on their good points which they have already worked on as sometimes we can make changes quickly whereas some other times depending on situation we may take some time to bring desired changes.😊🎉
Boundaries are the old paradigm
After delivery.. I had to go through lots of shit.. I was not feeling good mentally and spiritually.. suddenly my mother in law's got changed and began taunting, complaining and judging me.. so I decided to let her go from my inside world.. I don't care really how good our relationship was.. because I chose my mental health
People who set boundaries have value. Low value or insecure people lack boundaries.
I think everyone has value - but some people really struggle to recognize it in themselves. Those who recognize their value set boundaries and those who don’t- don’t. But that doesn’t mean their value doesn’t exist. They just have some healing to do.
Thats exactly what i needed to hear.
Beautifully explained...I could not have said it better MYSELF...😮😊😇
That's what I finally learned and applied...still hard for me to pull it thru, but I know I can't afford anymore to let me down
And this message is valid.. so true. Ty Aaron 🌹
This is so true. The people I let go are so concerned about me but when I was around them they did not really care much.
I mustash you what you were saying... cause I mow you were talking but i just couldn't concentrate 😂❤
Thanks for this ❤
Well, if you do choose to express how you feel to someone else, then you should also give them the respect to express how they feel in return, whether or not they do that respectfully. It’s best to try to understand where they’re coming from and if their actions, behavior or intentions are toxic and don’t align, then consent, and establish strict boundaries or just decide to cut that person off completely, but you should definitely be upfront, honest and direct about that as best you can.
That happened right after I told my friend I can no longer invitet him. He didn't talk to me..I started justifying myself until I said: wait a minute, I don't owe you an explanation. But the evening was over.. hard to stepping out into realness, but so very necessary
I'm learning to set better boundries.
Thanks for sharing this ❤️
This was divine timing! 🌠 Thank you for making this❣️
The problem is know how you feel. Knowing what you feel and why you feel that way. If a person doesn't know or cannot identity their feelings or someone else's, it's I
Possible to know how to set and respect boundaries. Just a realization I came to watching this. Great video. Thank you
I talk alot sometimes but actually communicating, feelings? Trickier than i thought is would be.
Aaron is becoming more chad year by year
You are so gifted. Thank you for your channel!
❤ They can.. Go...and.. Pound Sand !
This me! The empath that always feels guilty sigh 😌
I agree with this but not completely. Taking responsibility for their feelings is also important, if they are close to you or are in something with you so even more. sharing how you feel is important too.
I wish you were around 40 years ago ! Great advice! ♥️🌹
Exactly what I needed to hear 🙏🏻
I have just now, after decades of being a doormat, am setting firm boundaries…And am only now learning how small me “family” really is.
Easy concept, but so hard to implement for those with childhood trauma.
Oh wow. U explained it so now what I’m going through makes sense. Saving this one to reread as necessary. Than you
That's exactly me... not setting boundaries cause I need to please everyone and feel like their emotions come far before mine. I feel happy in someone else's life, I am just not living mine. But, I discovered you at the right time in my life and you're helping me reshaping my mind, body and soul... with much gratitude ❤
Yep and setting boundaries is also expressing your hunan need, for example if you feel like someone is giving you bare minimum and make you feel confused.
A good person won't reject you for expressing yourself (if we communicate in a civil manner ofcourse).
Yes absolutely right , share what does resonate with you and her at the same time & make sure we are on the same page, setting boundaries is important as least I work on myself to improve and actually have a conversation which makes the relationship better
Thanks. your insight is solid and helpful. Boundaries are tough for me.
I am definitely working on this one. Thank you for the perspective
I think they try to give you taste of what they do not want to deal with. But it not our responsibility to give up our need and want and receive theirs stuff do deal with. Know what is your and what is their!