You Might be Autistic If...
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- Опубликовано: 19 ноя 2024
- Think you might be on the autism spectrum? Here are 13 things you may have experienced if you're on the spectrum.
Hi! I’m Claire, and this is my channel, Woodshed Theory. Here you will find the awkward ramblings of an adult autist. I love being creative and sharing my experiences with you. Subscribe to see more DIYs, Discussions, and Bunnies on your feed!
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Another clothing asd sign: if i find a piece of clothing that feels good, fits, and doesn't upset any sensory issues, then I'm buying that thing in nearly every color bc it makes outfits super easy lol.
I do it too :) with shoes and accessories as well.
@@MaryanaMaskar haha! Oh yes, can't forget those too!
as a older gent : same clothes. i want to melt into the crowd all clothes same but i might have "weird" hair... on stage i had to fit my part... long hair... short hair... dark hair... blonde hair... etc... i think it helps to offset neuro typical people who see im all business but theres something different about me and this seems to help with public acceptance and expectations as "looking different" highlights that i am a bit quirky
Yessss! I have that exact same shirt…same color…8 times over! I am trying to branch out, though, because after several years of wearing the same shirt I finally am a little bored with it.
The same shirt, or trousers, or socks, in multiple copies, and then you go to buy more and find they've stopped making that particular one, or it is different, and so you wear the ones you have until they really are quite worn out, carefully husbanding them to eke out their life, until they end up in honourable retirement in the wardrobe (or someone comes in while you are away and clears them out).
The part about being hailed as intelligent as a child and doin really well in school resonated with me. Today I'm frustrated by the fact that my peers are all functioning in careers and I have limitations.
I get it. I feel like a failure a lot when I look at where my peers are in life.
I was fortunate that my special interest in tech turned in high paying job. I think that's the key, if you can turn a special interest in a career. IT was one career. What I find surprising is I didn't see that when I was younger and it was just blind luck that landed me in Tech course. I should have known, I'm into that stuff big time. Why didn't it seem like career path 10 years earlier. I think there a lot negativity directed people on spectrum that keep them stuck and no willing risk it on top that with out accommodation to help them take that leap. I say accommodations should be there as they are there for NT people.
If you don't mind me asking, what kind of area do you live in? I'm in rural USA and looking for entry evel help desk jobs is like finding a needle in a haystack Everyone says work experience is crucial, and to work on certs during this time (sometimes your job may even pay for it too). There's also so many fake job listings! Any advice? @@chrismaxwell1624
I haven't been diagnosed with autism, but I am certain I am on the spectrum. Discovering other women online who share their experiences about being autistic and how it feels rather than cold medical diagnostic criteria helped me understand the things I was experiencing. I white-knuckled my way through around 22 years without speaking up about my discomforts, mostly because I didn't understand why I wasn't feeling okay and because I was so afraid of interacting with people. The autistic spaces online have been so validating and welcoming for me over the past few months as I've learned who I am. Thank you for sharing your experiences, it helps immensely
I feel the same way! Have a great weekend!
@@faeriesmak thanks! You too :)
*The feminine instinct for masking complicates diagnosis, witness Lyric "Neurodivergent Rebel" Rivera (née Holmans), who was oblivious to her neurodivergencies until 29 years age.*
I am so glad it’s helping you and I hope you get any answers you need!
@@BCSchmerker I was oblivious until about age 46.
On point 7: yes, people never reach out to me or initiate to hang out together, even if they say yes to me when I do that. It's always me who has to do the asking. And when I find a person who initiates contact with me, I get super-excited, but often all they want is a doormat friend to boost their ego. Not someone equal to them or as important as them.
Yes! Exactly! Same here! The ppl that want to be my friend tend to be super dominant, almost narcissistic.
@@rubycubez1103 yes yes yes!
@@rubycubez1103 yep. the man I married turned out to be outrageously manipulative who lied any time it was convenient, and I didn't realize how bad it was until I found out he'd been serial cheating for at least 6 of our 7 years of marriage. I offered divorce multiple times over the years before my discovery, but he always wanted to stay together. He would say "i won't be able to find anyone else" and I thought it meant he was too shy. I was so blind.
@@rubycubez1103 I noticed that about some people who I thought were my friends but only when it was convenient for them.
interesting! yes i once was not having a good day and a "friend" was upset i wasn't entertaining them.
People are friendly, but not friends. That struck home for me. I have many people who are friendly in my life, and that is nice, but there's only really one person who I could say with some confidence is a friend.
Part of the problem though is in recognising the difference. It can be so easy to think of a person as a "friend", or at least heading that way, only to find that this is not the way they see it at all. I have been caught out that way, and it can be very painful, and humiliating. People can also string you along, letting you think you are friends, in order to get things from you, and then when you need them they are not there, or they even slap you down - "how could you have thought I was your friend!"
As a result, I am a bit wary, and I think maybe there may have been people, or maybe there are people now, who might have liked to be friends, but I hold back because I'd prefer to have the friendliness rather than risk losing that in pursuit of something else.
I recognise that this isn't a positive thing. I would like to have friends.
I agree. My other issue is that sometimes I think someone is my best friend, but turns out another friend is their best friend. The level of connection seems shallow with almost everyone I know even with other neurodivergent friends.
I think what I’ve learned is it is okay for your best friend to other best friends. I thought that you needed a 1:1 ratio all the time but it’s actually not like that.
Yeah same boat, hardly anyone seems like an actual friend
@@WoodshedTheory I agree. I always thought a best friend would only be your best friend.
The problem is that people who want to manipulate others (e.g. psychopaths and narcissists) often target people who they see as weak or easily influenced. I’m not saying that autistic people are, however this is how they are seen to be.
I remember having "panic attacks" in my 20's. I now recognize them as meltdowns. I told a friend about it and she said "oh my goodness! Why did you go through that alone? You should have told me and I would have come help you!" And I thought to myself-why in the world would I want anyone around me for that?
I went through this too it was terrible
Hey, can you talk about it in details? I'm thinking that maybe my boyfriend is autistic, so how to deal when a meltdown happens? How I should act to make him feels better or at least not worse while showing my support?
@@multimalves It is nice that you want to help your boyfriend. Your best bet, though, is to ask him (preferably when he is not in the middle of a meltdown.) Autism is a spectrum disorder, so people with it can present a number of different ways. That means that we can't assume that any advice anyone could give you here would apply to your boyfriend (what one person with autism in that moment and your boyfriend want / need in that moment might be completely different.) So, ask him and good luck.
I was on all kinds of drugs for panic attacks (mainly SSRIs), but had a nutritionist do muscle-testing on me. She told me I was allergic to milk products. I eliminated these from my diet, and have never had another panic attack, and that was 23 years ago! Food allergies are often the underlying cause of panic attacks. My panic attacks were the garden variety panic attacks; they were not autistic meltdowns.
I'm definately autistic. Late diagnosed at 57. Everything you say here is relateable. What's working extraodinarily well for me right now is LEANING IN to my autism. Allowing my neurotype and it's need for stimming, routine, and intense focused interests to dictate my behaviors. This means I look and act and live in ways most ordinary people find eccentric and strange.
Too bad.
I spent 57 years trying to appease ordinary people and the incomprehensibly banal, cruel, superficial society they create. It nearly killed me. I urge other autistic people to embrace their autism as I have, to the extent it's safe to do so.
Oh, and humans only began showering daily 100 years ago. We did this because Proctor and Gamble wanted to sell more soap. So they launched a massive ad campaign to convince everyone to hate the natural smell of our bodies, and that of other humans. They did this using a combination of fear (germs will get you if you don't use our soap) lust (nobody will want to have sex with you is you don't use our soap) and especially, shame (You smell bad unless you use our soap, and therefore ARE bad)
Autistic people see through that BS, and some of us only shower when we feel sticky or itchy - which is the natural order of things that governed humanity for millions of years prior to Proctor and Gamble's social terrorism took hold. The fact is, every time you bathe, you disrupt the natural bacteria and fungus that inhabit your skin, and that keep it healthy - at least if you use soap - which is a harsh lye based chemical that actually disolves fat from your skin to clean it.
That's why soap feels slippery. It's rendering fat from your skin. Go ahead - Google it =)
This was illuminating, the LEAN into autism part! I’m also very much a CLEAN into autism person though
@@kuibeiguahua Glad it helped =) The leaning into it is responsible for a HUGE increase in my creative output. I'm a muscian, and you can see some of the results on my channel.
You know how we auties "like" (need) routine?
Well, that's a superpower if it's framed properly and directed at an all consuming interest. For me, that interest is music. So seven years ago - pre-diagnosis mind you - I turned to music to help me deal with a suicidal depression I'd suffered from for 6 years. It was 2015.
For the next 5 years I studied music, played guitar and I sang. All by myself. Alone on my boat. For countless hours. Every. Single. Day.
...and I got good at making music. REALLY good. Most importantly, it made me FEEL GOOD to play my guitar, because for me, it's the perfect stimming tool. It hurts a little to play guitar. The strings bite into your fingers, and fingering chords and notes is extremely difficult at first. Challenging.
But when you get it right, OMG! The sheer beauty of the sounds made brought me to tears sometimes. Still do. For me, leaning into my autism through music led to a reduction and ultimately elimination of suicidal thinking, followed by a profound spiritual awakening and the realization that through music, I'm able to connect to and communicate with nuerotypical people in ways that delight and heal them AND me.
It's magical
So lean into it brother. It might take a while, but as you stop fighting your neurology and embrace it, good things will happen.
...anyone who gives you any sh*t about that isn't your friend. Put 'em on notice that you require love, support, and approval - not criticism. I now have a 3 strikes rule: If someone continuiously criticizes or shames me because of autistic traits I've disclosed to them and requested acceptance and accomodation for, they are out of my life.
Full stop. Awareness, Acceptance, and Accomodation for our autism is not optional.
It's a matter of survival.
Hey some of us love baths and getting clean! Some soap scents are off the table, but otherwise it's a mentally healing experience for me. If I don't get to sit in a hot tub and read for at least an hour every day I feel completely off. Still, it's good you're finding peace with your comfort & the modern world, it's a rough time to be like us.
Wow an interesting explanation!
@@TheWilliamHoganExperience My brother in Aut, I hear you!!! I've known for 2 weeks I've always been autistic, and I have made massive changes in my lifestyle and views, and out of these massive changes came immense creative productivity.
I'm a linguist, and a teacher, and I've accumulated a metric ton of knowledge on one particular topic: How to teach Chinese people English. I mean, from 0 to all, phonics, grammar, reading, vocabulary building, emotional and psychological phenomena etc.
I have decided to put it all out an UdeMy course. And since I know I'm autistic, I balance my emotional, cognitive and sensory buckets, to keep them not overly filled, or not overly empty, because my brainpower depends on the careful balancing of it.
Here's a gift for emotional intelligence, another one of my interests
ruclips.net/p/PLQun1ee6u9NZWO71azTBeRzSl3yGxlnF1
Thank you very much for this space
The "rude exit." Yeah, I've done that my whole life. At a particularly horrible high school party, with way too many complicated awful things happening, I crawled under the living room table and just sat there and waited for it to be over. It was a bit of a protest, and I wasn't embarrassed about it either. I've done similar things throughout my life. It's not so much "I CAN'T handle this," as it is recognizing when something is draining and pointless. I did it at a party at work once. People were treating the waitress horribly, and I just walked out of the restaurant and waited in the car. Someone came out to persuade me to come back, and I just said no, I'd rather be here. It's not a formula for popularity, but for me it still seems the right thing to do--for my mental health if nothing else.
thank you for sharing
I find ppl to be insensitive in general but expect you to be sensitive. My superpower is hypersensitivity & hyper empathy.
If someone rubs me the wrong way, I don't know how to articulate myself without being aggressive or crying. So I just smile nod and not talk to them again.
I'm also very detail oriented and do things with urgency. So ppl assume I'm smarter than what I am but at the same time talk to me like English is my second language. It's so odd.
When I speak to ppl in general, I notice ppl pause as if they are trying to understand what I'm saying. Especially when I say certain words. To me I sound clear but it happens often so I guess it's me.
I often feel I’m being super clean but then hear I am not because I’ve given too many and also not enough details
My boyfriend and I got used to called it "hindsight" he talks about something, I don't get it, or it doesn't makes sense at all, because what he said depends on information that he knows but forgot to share.
This is me in a nutshell.
The lack of real friends when you're friendly one hit me like a truck. I have friends (I've had two of 'em almost 20 years!)...but they are long distance/online friends. I get along with pretty much everyone IRL but I haven't had those kind of friends since college. It's so sad.
I understand completely. Since learning I am on the spectrum I have been able to have much deeper and fulfilling friendships.
The clothes closet. I could outfit a thespian troupe of similar sized people in a stunning variety of potential settings, but struggle with daily identity issues confronting the wardrobe. It’s overwhelming but when the time comes to purge, streamline, and reduce to manageability, I don’t want to let go of the possibility that a scene might arise in which I need that hobbit cosplay or welding apron or whatever. I sort of long for uniforms, one of the only features of church school I found agreeable.
Us poor kids would have appreciated uniforms. Being on the spectrum I would have appreciated it even more. How the hell am I supposed to know what looks right? I've resorted to just picking "good" brands knowing they're run by normies who understand this stuff and more likely than not I can assume they got it right for any particular outfit. But above anything it has to be comfortable. Fuck every other consideration.
I don’t know yet if I’m autistic or I have a lot of similarities because of my ADHD, but I relate to a lot of these. Especially the ones about being really good at things other people are bad at (& vice versa), & feeling like I speak a different language than everyone else. The irony is that I have a strong interest in languages & stuff that has a language of its own (like logic).
lots of autistic people, myself included, have very logic-focused brains :) I also enjoy the topic of language and communication, to me it feels interesting because it doesn't come naturally to me and I feel like I'm studying aliens a tiny bit lol
@@juliasutton8634 I completely relate to what you said about feeling like you’re studying aliens! I’m someone who has an incredibly hard time paying attention when I’m directly spoken to, but it’s almost impossible for me to tune out conversations going on around me. So while I really don’t go out of my way to eavesdrop, if I overhear a bunch of neurotypicals talking about neurotypical-type stuff, I sometimes feel like I got dragged into an ethnographic research study.
great convo here - i love languages too
I'm like that too, I try specifically not to eavesdrop but can't help but overhear people. Sometimes I will even say something like sorry I didn't mean to eavesdrop but..., depending if I have something useful to say. If I don't say something tho and I know any of the people I just tell myself I'm not allowed to know about that
Computer programming is a language too, it's really neat. Similar to math, very straightforward
The wardrobe thing is so spot on and I never realized it. I even think of my clothes for specific occasions as costumes
YES! Sometimes I will even say "have to go put on my costume"
ive been self diagnosed for about two years now and some family members don't quite agree with me but watching videos like this from people who are actually autistic really just confirm how i feel and make me feel understood. even if down the line i get diagnosed and have a combination of mood and personality disorders instead of being on the spectrum at least i feel less alone about my experience in life so thank you
Hi Kenzie - it’s not easy to get a diagnosis as an adult so we are really accepting of self diagnosis because of this. You are welcome here
@@WoodshedTheory thank you!
If you think you're ASD you probably are. And it's validating to finally know the answer to "what the hell is wrong with me" - yes you're fundamentally different but that's ok. (In an ideal world) we're judged for how we handle a problem, not if we have it through no fault of our own.
When you show up at a wedding rehearsal for your sisters wedding, and you get /that look/ and snickers because you vastly overestimated how formal you needed to dress, and didn’t factor in the autumn cool weather-ie a floaty skirt and open toed sandals.
When you pack WAY TOO much for a three day weekend away, and you have to bring a minimum of three bags, and everyone else doesn’t even fill up one. Yup, my husband gets on me about that. I need to prepare for EVERY possible circumstance AND need to pack for a variety of sensory needs (some clothes are awesome one week, then the next day it makes my skin crawl.
When you work in a retail store and suddenly start to “panic” , everything is closing in on you.. sights, smells, and touch are excruciatingly in you face and painful, and you find yourself running to a VERY low traffic bathroom where you can just sit in the stall, close your eyes, and you plug your ears and start rocking or tapping or flapping a hand or repeatedly rolling your wrists to calm yourself down.
Yeah, through the lens of a new autism diagnosis, I do NOT think my old “panic attacks” were actually sensory and social stress level. Like when I was dating my husband the first time, I was staying with him at his mom’s house for the holidays. I was NOT prepared for the amount of people that are loud talkers, and have a tendency to not take things slowly. I downright panicked and in the bedroom with the sheets and the pills over my head to drown out the noise and a HEFTY dose of klonopin that actually made things feel worse.
It was actually used as a “this is why..” during our breakup conversation looooong before we married. Now I’m acutely aware that this was my autism, but no one knew it at the time. One of the things pointed out during our breakup was how inconsistent my ability to handle certain situations actually are. I get why he didn’t want to deal with it back then, he was going through his own shit.. and we didn’t know it was autism. He assumed that it was immaturity, neediness, and a ton of mental instability (I had a BP diagnosis back then.) I did figure myself out more during the years we were broken up, but discovering autism wasn’t one of things I figured out back then. I just learned how to handle myself better.
When going out to dinner and meeting his mom and stepdad for the VERY first time, I was later told that his mother thought I was a bit slow, flightly, dull, and just devoid of personality and she couldn’t understand why her son was dating me (I literally kept drifting from the conversation and kept staring out at the ocean view of Narragansett Bay.) She is far, far more accepting and doesn’t believe this anymore after spending a lot more time I’m around me. She was THE first person aside from my closet sister that learned I received an autism diagnosis.
Yeah, I was considered gifted and did well in school through highschool. I failed in college due to structure problems and especially perfectionism.
College was so hard for me
Same here--I was a straight-A student who fell apart in college, where the total lack of structure allowed all my issues and deficiencies to surface simultaneously.
@@confidentlocal8600this. I loved the freedom but it was not good for me. I got put in a dorm room with the most popular guy on the hall whose "friend" was the only person I've met in my life I am 100% sure was a psychopath. Needless to say he had a good time fucking with me.
Also I had it so easy in HS I didn't develop study habits of normies like taking notes. It was a pretty epic crash and burn out of the honors program and full ride scholarship 😅
But at least I eventually graduated. Still, alumni materials trigger me despite it being a respectable institution. I'm proud they would offer me a scholarship but I can't wear that shirt.
Sorry, it wasn't my intention to give you a life story! Just nice to get it out.
I was aware of most of the things but the closet thing has shocked me. If people see my closet, they may not be able to decide if I am a princess, a hard rocker, or a business woman, or…. And none reflects my personality. I now understand I was trying to fit in.
Its interesting right? Someone talked about it in a comment a few weeks ago and it has been on my mind.
I learned to not care anymore. I am what I want to be now.
This is totally true lol...except in my case they ARE a part of my personality! I was a goth in high school, and always liked the fashion. Clothes allow me to Express my creativity!
Of all the different "you may be autistic if" lists, this one hit closest to home
I’m so glad you resonate
I remember having several public meltdowns as a child that included screming, crying and even hitting other children a couple of times. But as an adult I do have "private meltdowns"... It's like now I've learnt to recognize the feeling of being on my limit, I can feel when it's coming because it's not a sudden thing but a progressive build up of distress. So what I do is I go the bathroom (even tho I don't need to pee) and just sit on the toilet, cover my face with my hands and cry 😅 and I stay there fore a while trying to calm down (this usually happens due to sensory overload for example at parties with loud music and flashing lights) I know it's not the most healthy but most people don't know that I'm autistic because I mask too much. Only if I'm with my bf I would tell him I need to go out (he knows I'm autistic) and then I'll cry and he hugs me tight and that helps a lot. But otherwise I would hide in the bathroom and let it come out 😅 idk, but don't worry, this doesn't happen too often thankfully. Usually I can leave or take a break before reaching that point.
I have also escaped to the bathroom! Not a bad tip
I’ve been diagnosed with autism but I literally have none of these symptoms, except for needing clear instructions.
Hi there, that is totally possible. As I said these are my personal observations and I am not a dr. the autism spectrum is vast and not everyone shares symptoms
Argh group projects! I left a basic course required for my college graduation until my last semester, and to my despair every single day was a group activity. I stopped going, I simply could not make myself go. I had essentially no friends at this point to help me get on track, starting off strong my first year but losing them all as the next few years went on. There was no other option to complete my degree, and rather than try to handle it I just let it eat me up the whole semester and did nothing. I was ready to give up a degree that was nearly complete, and I would have if my professor hadn't taken pity on me in the eleventh hour. It was sheer luck I had the same professor in another much smaller class where I was able to cope, and she recognized something was wrong. I had no idea then I was autistic and I tended to mask fairly effectively, so I just thought I was depressed. I will *never* go to school again, I doubt I'll get so lucky a second time.
I am also the benefactor of kind professors helping me pass when I was having breakdowns
Here's a good one. I am a fainting goat. Literally when I'm suffering with sensory overload I drop like a stone, pass out, faint. I can't see it coming all the time, which makes for a fun time out to the grocery store. I now come with a disclaimer to friends and family, so that they are not mortified if this happens, and don't let bystanders call the ambulance.
LOL, don't get me started on area of special interest, and trying to pretend or actually pay attention when the topic is not special interest.
Oh no! That is a terrible issue to have!
Hi Claire, beside the wardrobe, it's definitely me. Thank you for this video and for spreading awareness and pride.
thanks pass!
On point 9: talking about special interests, what really helped me grow here was practicing active listening and really repeating the mantra 'it's not always about you' when I wanted to chime in with some unrelated fact, note or observation. But this only applies in a one-on-one, I'll still check out during ''uninteresting" group conversations.. anyway, thanks for the clip, I really enjoy your videos!
I totally get it
My previous line manager once asked me about home life and that's when I realised I didn't have any friends according to most people's idea of friendship even though I consider myself to have lots of friends, just no one I regularly spend time with
Holy crap you just worded out my social life! (Although never officially diagnosed, I've long suspected I'm on the autism spectrum)
Note to self :- no, listen to video 1st, then comment.
14: ' you could do that as a living/job/self employment'.
Right now the comment - I would like to draw a distinction between being autistic / ND and being diagnosed (DX) as such. There are always a set of criteria for DXing disorders [not just autism] - I'm thinking of DSM5 here. Generally they all include that [said traits] Must impact negatively & to a significant degree on a persons life eg. at work, socially, mental health etc. You can have all the other DX criteria but if they're not screwing up your life you wont get the DX. This shows that the medical criteria is interested only in treatment/support needs etc, ie. funding. This means you can be autistic (or anything else) but if there is no observable clinically impactful impairments in certain areas you won't get an official DX. & I stress observable. This why certain traits - like rejection sensitivity - aren't on the DX list. They'll only have your word for it.
Here are the DSM5 crit [for adult DX I think it's 2 from 3 in cat A & 2 from 4 in cat B - check]:
A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts, as
manifested by the following, currently or by history
1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity;
2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviours used for social interaction;
3. Deficits in developing, maintaining and understanding relationships.
B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behaviour, interests or activities as manifested by at least two
of the following, currently or by history:
1. Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech;
2. Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualised patterns of verbal or
nonverbal behaviour;
3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus;
4. Hyper- or hypo- reactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the
environment.
C. Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully
manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies
in later life).
D. Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment in social, occupational or other important
areas of current functioning.
E. These disturbances are not better explained by intellectual disability (intellectual developmental
disorder), or global developmental delay.
thank you for sharing
going through these now at work. best salesman in my division in 5 states but "too difficult" ... friends drop out... deep regret... fear of beginning new friends
i get it
I related to a lot of these and laughed out loud a coupled of times. It's so nice to be reflected, finally 💗 Group projects were the bane of my schooling, no one wanted me in their group and I didn't want to be in theirs. I was extremely bullied and isolated in school. My teachers loved me, like I was the ideal student in so many ways. Go on, just give me one small reason to obsess on something interesting. So I was labelled the teacher's pet, and got even more bullied. Meltdowns were a consistent response to life. When I started advocating for myself, around the age of 12, it made me 'difficult' in school. Like refusing to stay in the class room when the teacher went out of the room, locking myself in the art room during recess or lunch hour, or just running away from school after lunch and spending the rest of the day in the wooded park nearby. I bet the teachers and counsellors of the 70's and 80's probably look back and feel pretty bad about all of the students they couldn't help because they didn't know!
Sounds like we had a similar school experience. I was also more into being around the teachers than the students
Yes, thank you. Also, the video last week about encouraging a wide range of experiences of people with neurodivergence to be shared was much appreciated. BASS, Black Autistic Support Society might be good to share as a resource too. ( Public discussions about injustice towards autistic people have been evolving. * It is important to not disrespect his mother's feelings stated in an interview in which she said he was not autistic*. Elijah McClain was only 23 years old when he died tragically. No one can be certain if he lived with autism now, or if he would've ever questioned that, himself. The discussions about whether that was part of the prejudice he experienced is an echo interpretation of a much larger picture. I revisited news about the violin vigils and discussions about Elijah McClain the other day, because the trial of the officers and paramedics involved just began. Friends and family said he had been " sensitive" and "different". Even so, more than one prejudice was a contributing factor, if someone called in to the police about a, " suspicious person", who was simply dancing to music on his walk home. Racism was also deeply embedded in the situation. Perhaps the wrong assumption from the caller was that only drugs or mania could inspire that behavior in public, but even if someone was having a manic episode, dancing and keeping to oneself doesn't endanger anyone.)
* BASS, Black Autistic Support Society works to provide communities with resources, educate the public, and protect rights. Collaborative efforts to encourage change are important.
Hi Liz thank you for sharing!
For me the communication part is the hardest. I've never had a girlfriend at 29 and I'm only recently trying to work through things with a therapist.
I get it. It can be so hard to get a handle on communication - I’m still working on it
i'm still super, super uncertain over whether or not i'm autistic, because i have ADHD, and i think a lot of my issues might be from that. but. the "having control over everything" is a HUGE thing for me. group projects, officer boards in student orgs, day-to-day itineraries, you name it.
up until i was 22, i had huge, dramatic meltdowns anytime my day wouldn't go to plan. literally ONE thing could change (example: i planned to donate my clothes to Goodwill but it was closed). it would typically ruin the entire day for me, and i would have to go back home to recover, cancelling all subsequent plans for the day. i don't think that's an ADHD thing.
it still happens to me, but my boyfriend has helped me work through it. i realized i needed to try and change when i ruined our anniversary 2 years ago with a meltdown over a very, very minor unexpected change. so i have gotten better at focusing on "the day ahead of me" instead of the one thing that went "wrong."
my meltdowns don't happen AS much with day-to-day plans anymore, but they happen without fail anytime we go on vacation. so i'm still working on it. idk if i have autism though, because i deeply crave the company of others, and without it, i will very quickly become lonely and depressed. i hate being alone. not sure what to think. :(
Hi Friend, I understand the uncertainty. It is why ultimately i decided to pursue an official diagnosis because I was feeling unsure about everything.
@@WoodshedTheory i'm considering doing the same. unfortunately i don't have health insurance at the moment, so it will have to wait. 😞 thank you for reading my comment and taking the time to respond 🥺❤ that means a lot to me! i hope you have an amazing day!!!
GREAT as always, Claire! Props up front for the way you describe #10. A different language, that is EXACTLY what it is like. I recently happily exclaimed to a neurodiverse friend of mine, "We share a common vocabulary!"
#2 - me and my son in Walmart for more than 5 minutes during the day on a weekend as we barrel towards the door: "Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope!"
#3 I kept a variety of wardrobes to match my mood when I was younger. But rather than blend in... "Only YOU could make that work," was heard quite often.
ahh i. had a similar experience with clothing
Number 12 maybe want to cry I was in gifted classes and French immersion but by the time
high school came, the wheels were falling off big-time
Hi Jules you are not alone!
You are speaking my language. Thank you, this is a day and a level of understanding i thought would never happen. ❤
cool!
Claire..I relate to most of these. However, at 64..not much to do.❤
I actually didn't have a problem with group projects in classes with an odd number of people because nobody wanted to work with me
ahh i get that too i was often picked last.
Acknoledging myself as being autistic has helped me in so many ways. I am now so much more in tune with what my body needs, and dont feel guilty about it any more. Not officially diagnosed yet, but thats on the cards for the near future. I'm actually putting together a journal to recap on my life and analyse my childhood memories. This video confirmed things even more, so thank you!
Hannah so glad you are continuing your journey it’s worth it
@@WoodshedTheory it's been a long time coming. I absolutely love your channel, by the way. I'm new here 😊
I remember asking my mom the exact thing what you said as a kid, that why is it that I am good at in what everyone is bad at, and bad at in what everyone is good at? I was so confused
Diagnosed in 1978 as Asperger's, not called that now but I had to learn most of this on own. No help. I've found this site, Autistic AF, Orion and others that are great to see others experiences these things. Thank you for talking about this and what you did for Orion is very special. this one I really relate to. @Autistamatic
Thanks friend
Great video! It was entertaining and informative. Thanks Claire!
thanks Shannon
The bit about if you don't have a time table, strict instructions or guidelines is definitely an ADHD trait as well and as ADHD is often a co-morbidity with autism then that would explain it. Feel like I am both tbh. Enjoyed the video. Lots of lightbulb moments 😊
Thank you Claire ❤ you have done a awesome topic
thanks Gem Gem
Lol. Agree with the group projects bit, but at a certain point I realized that usually everyone else didn't want to do anything but be the presenter anyway, so I was fine doing all the work and the other people just being the ones to talk about it in front of the class. My feeling bad for maybe using them was easily outweighed by the fact that they equally thought they were using me but also didn't want to study or do the work beyond just getting attention, so I dont feel too guilty.
interesting!
One thing that repeatedly happens to me is seeing people make friends with people who don't even know their pronouns, basics about their native country, their kids' names, their degree, their birth year etc. I guess remembering those things aren't as important as whatever it is that I lack.
interesting
You made it to 5k!!! Congratulations Claire!! And thank you for sharing this relatable list. The closet thing was familiar. I never really put my finger on why exactly I kept ending up with a closet with styles that didn’t really go together from my times trying to fit into different groups.
We did it!!!
OMG MY NAME IS CLAIRE!!!! I agree so much with this, especially the friendship thing I’m currently struggling with that big time
anyways,
me tryna joke around or say something that I thought was funny or provide a compliment
someone: “um…that was rude”
Me: “oh but I don’t think so, I was trying to be rude”
Or “I was just trying to joke around I’m sorry”
I also struggle with my social awareness which I may tend to be loud or say something offensive…. which is funny because I have a SEVERE hyper reactivity to sensory environments and I get stressed out and have meltdowns. And I also have really high empathy which makes me aware of others feelings, faces, actions and I may overthink others intentions and actions and words. So it’s kinda funny to think about
Sounds like we are two similar Claire’s 😀
Thank you for this video. I thought I had bipolar 2, then anxiety and depression, but nothing ever seemed to fix the irritability or tiredness I feel after a few weeks of just going to work... still figuring it out and this helps
Thanks for sharing good luck with your journey
never miss video ... great insights ... but why do people drop out of autistic peoples lives? why?
i would have to think about that question
Great video Claire, very relateable.
Thanks Claire, I have to re listen to your video again 😊
Nice to have you!
I made a huge mistake in buying socks that have a colorful stripe and I can NOT pair them without their match - my ADHD gf is completely the opposite for this. I also love the feeling of being clean and the hot water of the shower but I have a hard time making myself do it (and other executive functions and self-care). Also not recognizing the body's cues like Hunger or need to use the bathroom until my body is "yelling" at me.
how interesting i hate socks even though i will still wear them if i am cold - but i dont really care about matching them at all
I always enjoyed the structure and timetables of camps, how everything was planned and i knew what would happen when. It felt so good (I was homeschooled so i didn't really have that at home) and i remember i always used to keep my camp lanyards on for a day or two after i got home because I just didn't want to let go of that structure. Though I dont totally miss camps. I remember plenty of times I got overwhelmed and had melt downs at them because of how little time I got alone, especially at my last camp. I had one that lasted like half a day and i barely spoke to anyone.
I really want to get some more routine into my life. I think I would feel a lot happier if I could set myself times for things like showers and meals and house work, but its not really possible when i live with my parents still.
interesting - i also loved summer camp
i always was really bad at group projects in middle school and people would get mad at me for not doing any of the work but wouldn’t tell me what work they wanted me to do and would literally just completely ignore me if i spoke. so like, get out of work free card ig but also kinda traumatic lmao???
Interesting I was the exact opposite where I wanted to be in complete control of the project because I wanted to make sure we got a good grade - I’m sure I was Terrible to have in a group
@@WoodshedTheory oh lol yea no one listened to me in middle school and i had very low self esteem so that definitely wasn’t me
So the closet thing might explain why I found it so important to look for a wrist watch when I started my doctoral studies because I had this mental image that academic people wear watches. (Um. Not actually any more than other people.) I ended up wearing it maybe twice. Another thing I went shopping for was collar shirts, but that one I don't regret because it's nice to have separate work "uniforms" ready to go, come back home and switch into a hoodie. And also my collar shirts still reflect my personality because I like to choose ones with fun patterns/colours. But yeah. Clothes for different social expectations :D
thanks for sharing
You just killed me with that one! @5min Its not just being good at things people are bad at but being bad at things people are good at
Yeah unbalanced skill sets
The whole speaking another language thing really got to me. So often I'd say literally exactly what I meant, but people are like looking for hidden meanings under the surface and making wild assumptions and then accusations at me about essentially fantasies they made up in their heads. Or I'll ask a really straight forward question and specify that I am looking for very specific and detailed responses, but people give vague af responses anyways. So many other ways in which I notice and recognize the grammatical structure and meaning of what is said, as well as tone of voice and nuance based on past experiences, and other people seem to get caught up not in the facts or even those things, but in an emotional response to what is happening and not realize that they are? I don't know, it's hard to explain but I often feel like I'm speaking a different language than other people, just completely on different wavelengths. Never heard it described that way before, but it rings really true for me personally. Not yet diagnosed, just highly suspicious. The inability to connect with others and make friendships thing has plagued me my whole life as well, and when describing it to others, they don't/haven't really understood. One time a person I do consider to be a friend I asked him why he never invited me out, and he thought about it, and responded that he felt like I didn't want to go, or wouldn't enjoy it, and he wasn't sure why. He wasn't wrong, but I'd still like to be invited, and feel like my company is liked and wanted, and get to make the decision for myself whether I want to go or not, instead of someone choosing for me. But yeah, rant aside, a very relatable list for sure.
Rants are encouraged 😉
I have a PhD in history. My major advisor, who is very kind, once said, "People will have to read a lot of your stuff before they understand where you're coming from." I said, "I thought I was fairly conventional in my historiography." "No, you're not." This was disturbing, but to be honest, I still didn't understand what was so "alien" about my thought process.
The introduction was awfully long and awkward, I almost clickt another video, but I'm glad I didn't. The things you have pointed out were so insightful that I subscribed mid-video.
thanks - so yeah i sing in the beginning of the videos - it just makes me happy and more confident :) but it is almost always over by 1 min in you want to skip it - thanks~
@@WoodshedTheory Thanks, I might find it also interesting, who knows! Thanks for sharing your experience anyway!
10:30 11:39 Can relate. I grew up with the "gifted" label. It meant high expectations, brutal perfectionism, lousy self esteem, loneliness, and adulthood burnout. I got straight A's all through high school only to struggle afterward. If you're smart, you can't possibly be suffering because everything must be easy for you. When I discovered autism, everything made sense.
Your experience sounds very similar to mine.
Ohhhh noooo
I can RELATE to absolutely all 13 symptoms 😮
It doesn't have to be an oh no - it can also be a good thing!
+WoodshedTheory *As a son o' the victim of an abusive first marriage by a second wife who survived the War Relocation of 1942-45, who was diagnosed with Kanner's syndrome in infancy, I've known me as a neurodivergent for as far back as I can remember.* Discovered emotional disabilities over five-plus decades on earth; only now coming to grips with said disabilities' preventing me from learning relationship fundamentals.
27 December 2022, I started a mitigation for said disabilities based on Steven E. Gutstein Ph.D. and Rachelle K. Sheely Ph.D., _Relationship Development Intervention with Children, Adolescents and Adults: Social and Emotional Development Activities for Asperger's Syndrome, Autism, PDD and NLD_ (London, GBR: Jessica Kingsley, 2002). Shortlisted specific Courses at The Personal Development School® (Concord, ON, CAN) to dovetail into the RDI Stages, e.g. "Healthy Habits for Life Mastery" for Stage 2: Reference (LEVEL I: Novice); "RE-PROGRAMMING COURSE - DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT: Healthy & Secure Relationships With/For the Emotionally Unavailable Person" for Stage 16: Emotional Regulation (LEVEL IV: Voyager); "Conflict Resolution: Speaking Up & Steps to Healthily Resolve Relationship Challenges" for Stage 20: Ally (LEVEL V: Explorer); "ADVANCED FEARFUL AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT COURSE: Your Guide to Thrive in the 6 Stages of a Relationship" for Stage 24: Intimate Relations (LEVEL VI: Partner). Shared a complete preliminary Course chain by Stage in the PDS Followers Group on facebook® (A Meta Platforms Service).
Thank you for sharing
I am on the Autism Spectrum. Autism found me in 2014 instead of me finding autism after my doctor put me in touch with a psychiatrist because of my social anxiety and he identified Autism in me. I can relate to many of your examples in this video. With clothing I dress differently to others unintentionally and wear the same clothes for a long time seasonally. Whenever I try to dress up like others such as by wearing a blue denim jacket I never completely fit in with others because there are tell tale signs such as my rigidness or the way I walk or my hair. I am also not good with showering regularly, instead these days I shower on both Saturdays and Sundays nights as a way of preparing myself for the weekend on my own to watch horror movie's as I snack. It is not uncommon for me to not shower for many months but when I do its my way of igniting my mind and body gradually like starting a car engine as I take off at the weekends like a car or rocket. Food s a fuel and so is showering. I have also been called a druggie or drunk when I do not drink or take drugs because I appear withdrawn. My energy levels fluctuate in periods. Socially I always feel different to others like an outsider. Its like they know something that I do not. I feel like a child in an adult world.
Thank you for sharing - glad to have you in the comments.
@@WoodshedTheory You're welcome.
Except 3 and 6-which was only partially true(i have meltdowns around family or in my room, but not in public, not since childhood), i fit everything. I only realised i was autistic at 27, few months after figuring i have sensory sensitivity and looking into what might be causing it.
I think what was always worst for me was people who i considered friends were ghosting me and i didnt know why and another timeone of my classmates asked why i allow myself to be treated so badly by person who i considered friend. As soon as he said it, I knew he was right, but i realised...i wasnt completely blind to it even before. It was me willingly choosing to overlook that...because i wanted to be friends with somebody so badly. But of course it wasnt healthy, true friendship. It was pretense.
And i always wondered-why me?! Why do i always atract people who are either too polite/friendly to tell me they dont to be my friends straight away/are friends with everybody.
Or people who want to use me to help boost their ego, because they are predator and i am easy prey. Or at least i used to be, growing up.
These are so relatable! And yes, I did laugh (at myself) because a lot of your points brought to mind some vivid memories. 😅
Yes. I thought we (asd) people would find it funny but I didn’t want to offend anyone either
I’m really enjoying your upbeat presentation and musical delivery. Oh the content’s pretty great too . Thanks 🙏🏼 ♥️🙏🏼
I'm professionally diagnosed and I experience most of these everyday. I have to keep a checklist diary of normal daily tasks just to remember to do all the things my human body needs me to do to keep it healthy and alive everyday, sometimes I feel like it's amazing I've made it this long lol.
I am also a checklist person keeps me moving
i literally have alarms to feed my kids... we are all AuDHD, so we forget most of this.
hahah I love this - yeah i think that is what it will be like if we have kids too
I find that people don’t understand me when I talk even though I think I have been perfectly clear. It’s so freaking frustrating, and I’ve gotten to a point where even if someone says they understand I just assume they really don’t and they aren’t going to do the thing or respond how I said it should be done.
I also struggle with not being given instructions. I’m good left to my own devices as long as I know what I’m doing. But if you tell me to figure it out I will likely figure it out and then wonder why you’re upset with what I produced. Or if you’re not clear. For example a boss told me once that in a meeting I spent “too much time on topic A and not enough on topic B”. To me that meant divide it more evenly next time…no what she meant was that topic B could have waited until another day. That went into my performance plan as me not following instructions/taking feedback…. It gives me a lot of anxiety and kicks my RSD into high gear. Like please, just tell me step by step what your expectations are, lay out how you want it done…
Thank you for sharing your experience
Great video Claire! I definitely hit most of these traits. I'm coming up on my two year autism diagnosis anniversary. 😊
I start my diagnosis prosess in two weeks. I'm excited and nervous
It is so scary charlotte but you are
Brave!
At 47 years old I start my diagnosis process in 3 weeks. Excited and nervous. I can't think of better words
Claire, congrats on 5000 subscribers!
You are a joy!😊 thank you 💞
that is really nice thank you
Group projects were the bane of my existence in school! Great topic!
Thanks friend!
1. That doesn't really happen to me. I didn't really talk much as a kid, and as an adult I have now learned how to not come off as rude.
2. I've never had a situation like that personally. There have definitely been times I have thought about just leaving a place like that but I never actually have.
3. I mean I have different wardrobes for professional wear and casual wear, if that counts.
4. Yeah generally I wasn't a fan of group projects in school. If it was something in which you could just have one partner and choose who you worked with, and one of my few close friends were in the class with me it'd be fine but otherwise nope.
5. Yeah I could definitely think of examples like this in my own life. Like tying my hair back vs. singing...most people would answer differently than I if asked which is harder to do...
6. It's rare that it happens to me but it has.
7. I have real friends but only a few.
8. I definitely think this is a struggle for me. I'm a great planner, planning things is one of my natural strengths. But when the unexpected happens, I find it hard to successfully adjust the plan in the moment.
9. Yeah I can talk for ages about something I'm really interested in but if it's not something I'm interested in I'm not going to want to have a conversation about it. I can pretend to care for a bit if someone brings it up but will probably leave or try to change the subject if it goes on for too long.
10. I definitely struggle a lot with this one too. Verbal communication is hard for me. Writing is better for me because I have more time to actually think about what I am putting on the page/screen.
11. Yeah going to college was a huge struggle for me initially for that exact reason. I nearly flunked out when I started because I wasn't getting most of my work done in a timely manner. But I've learned to adjust thankfully. It got easier too once I transferred to university since I was actually taking major courses I was genuinely interested in and not the small set of general education courses I was required to take in community college. If I actually WANT to do something, I'll find the time to do it.
12. Not really I was in the special education program and struggled a lot academically during my K-12 years. The only classes that I excelled in were those that were more activity-based and mostly graded on participation like PE and choir. I'm not even a very athletic person but I got A's in PE classes since I at least participated the best I could.
13. Yeah that's why using that natural planning ability and writing down a schedule is so important. If I don't do those things, I'll most likely forget to do things.
Thanks for sharing your experience
Wow 4.9k, you are so close! Almost time to celebrate that hard worked milestone.
we made it!
@@WoodshedTheory Congratulations to you as well as everyone else who have helped contribute to this channel.
This is one of the best and most relatable lists I have seen on social media… I resonate with all of them…!
thanks for your comment
"...ghosted a situation with a quick 'nope' and then walked out of the room." Hahahah, that's my calling card. I recognize most of these things in myself (and received my autism diagnosis late in life). I actually did very poorly in high school because my behavior was frequently reprimanded ('gifted' is not how I was described by anyone), but then in college I did really well because I followed the syllabi... well I did well except for those moments where we had to do group projects or assignments (I dropped a few classes because they required group projects or community service that would have put me in awkward social situations). I've discovered I do okay when working with teams or groups that are comprised mostly of neurodivergent people, I even kind of like it. In any case, I definitely relate to most of these things. Discovering I'm not the only one struggling with this stuff has been (and continues to be) a bit of a relief. Great list, thanks for sharing!
Jeremiah thank you so much for sharing your experience! - Claire
Here is a 2 for 1 -- Being told after you take your school's test to enter their GATE program that you did well on the hard parts and badly on the easy parts! 😆 In all seriousness, it hurts knowing that for all the talk about how gifted I was in school that it has not translated into success, particularly in the workforce.
Thanks for sharing micheal I know it was tough!
So happy to see you reached your 5K goal.
Thanks for always being here
Brilliant. I've sent it to my family
Thanks Asaf
Knowing a lot of people but having no close friends definitely resonates with me personally.
I totally get it Troy
I haven't been diagnosed, primarily because of the cost to do it in my country right now but I am fairly sure I'm on the spectrum. A public access route for ADHD diagnosis for adults is just being rolling out now, so at least I can avail of that eventually. I'm turning 35 in June and I'm not really a functioning adult and I don't mean that in a quirky exaggerated way. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder when I was 26 and since then I've been assuming that was responsible for everything, including lack of executive function, low self-care, why I couldn't cope in college, why I couldn't stay in a job, why I have one friend etc. and I'm doubting it the more I learn about Autism and Autistic Women.
I hope the tides turn for you my friend! I understand DX is not available to everyone and I hope we can work towards improving this situation.
@@WoodshedTheory if you read my previous response please PLEASE ignore it. I am so sorry. It would be impossible to explain but that message was not intended!
And yes, thank you. 💛
I asked one of my doctors when I was in about in my thirties, but he said, No, I just have OCD and Social Anxiety.
Yes it can be difficult to diagnose asd when one has other co-morbidities
@@WoodshedTheory I wonder about it again now because my daughter was diagnosed.
Mostly I get clapped back about being ungrateful.
Like someone was giving you a gift and you say: This was not needed.
Ah yes i have learned to accept graciously as it means something different to NT people
I never had a strict schedule to do "daily life stuff" and I feel that is too chaotic and I forget basic stuff... I wonder if a schedule would help me but the times I've tried I couldn't stick to it for more than 3 days because I have very strong interests and it feels painful to not do what I want to do that day (for example drawing, playing an instrument, etc) and that interrupts me a lot and then I simply drop the plan/schedule because once it's interrupted I struggle to much to decide what part of the plan to keep or replace and what I should prioritize. Do you have any tips on implementing and maintaining a schedule? (I need it for basic stuff such as studying, changing bedsheets, taking showers, etc). Should I just suppress my need current need of indulging into a special interest because it interrupts the plan that I made two weeks ago? 😅 I don't know how.
Lucia I totally get it - I also struggle with keeping a schedule so I just try to get what I can done
I got lucky that my biggest interest is trivia. I've been able to gain a broad range of knowledge... Not really deep, but broad.
That’s cool!
Rude chat, check. Erm, yeah leaving a situation--that happened last week. Wardrobe, maybe. Group project, check. Definitely on opposites, although really good at showering, erm except for using up the hot water. Meltdown in public, sadly yes. Thousands, and yes, confusing. Definitely on the big plans, now and since very small. Short list of topics, yep--never bored unless hanging with "normal" people. Feelings of being misunderstood, most def. I rock out with a clear path determined, yes. Precocious and struggle with basic household stuff, yes. Definitely on executive function, although wouldn't characterize it as having forgotten. Wish there was better science out there for folks to help understand themselves. Thanks Claire. Cheers all, D
thanks for sharing!
@@WoodshedTheory Thanks for considering. :)
I too break out in song when I am talking! lol! Is that an autism thing? Diagnosed at 59
Hi Teresa - I am so glad to have you here - I am not sure if it is as all ASD people are different but echolalia is def an asd thing and it can involve singing
matched more than half. hmmm.
Hmmm
I think I have almost all of them except for maybe two or three. I definitely hated doing group projects, some people make use of autists and then you end up doing all the work while the rest sits back and does nothing. Struggled with note taking a lot, the teacher would ask is everybody done noting this down the class would go yes and before I could get a no out the blackboard was empty. Definitely melted down in public before, or did the nope and walked out thing. Last time the walk out happened was at a work function at a restaurant the music was way to loud there was a lot of clinging going on so I went nope walked out and went home. You might be a redneck if you have five broken vehicles on your lawn.......
I love the redneck reference lol
@Azim Premji Herbs do nothing stop promoting them in channels you think are full of people you think will fall for it. We’re autists we research everything and anything. Herbs do nothing for autism, autism makes my brain different you don’t grow a new brain with herbs.
I feel like your content is starting to really come together. I've really enjoyed watching you do all of this, as I've thought about doing the youtube thing myself as well. I was just diagnosed a year ago so I'm still just trying to figure some things out. Looking forward to seeing more.
I appreciate that! I am really trying!
@@WoodshedTheory It definitely shows .
I understand, everything, she said. I can relate.
Thanks Roger
I resonate with most of these points. But one thing confuses me: I've never had any meltdowns. As if my psyche is very robust or resilient. Is that a thing common or possible for other autistic people?
Hmm interesting. Perhaps your meltdowns present differently? You’ve never lost control of your emotions? anyway I’m not saying it’s not possible we are all different
@@WoodshedTheory The closest thing that comes to mind is when I'm really upset and arguing with someone, which happens very rarely. Then something happens that feels like I'm losing control of myself. But that feeling scares me and I back out of it immediately. In relation to senses: I once got headache in a candle shop and loud noises like braking trains and sirens make me clench my fists and teeth. Crowds "only" drain my energy. But not more. Or maybe I'm just good or lucky at avoiding these situations so it never got bad enough?
@@WoodshedTheory I just did some research because I'm still curious. Someone said that some do have shutdowns instead of meltdowns. And after reading what a shutdown exactly is I remember two big ones I had in school. They happened when I've heard very sad or disturbing stories, so much that I wasn't able to care about anything else that happened that day. I felt like an empty shell sitting and walking around.
@@WoodshedTheory I'm sorry for all the messages but I just had a very big idea: Is it possible that some brains actively protect themself from having meltdowns by using derealization/depersonalization instead? I've always had those and I am able to link their occurrences to sensory related situations. But all they do is make me think: "oh, that funny feeling in my brain again..."
I relate to most of these. It's tricky as I have been diagnosed with ADHD and I know there's a big overlap. Somethings I wonder about. For example spacing out or not listening when a conversation isn't interested - in a group social setting that seems ok, right? In social settings I've walked away if there's other people listening and wonder now if that's not a social norm. If it's class or work (now) I make real efforts to pay attention and am better at it as usually the discussion is important even if it's not interesting.
I guess I struggle to know what is neurotypical or just typical for someone with ADHD vs Autism. I'm in the process of doing self assessment and have a referral to a specialist who will assess me for Autism. It's just hard to assess myself relatively, especially since most of my friends (and I believe my family too) are neurodivergent.
I also wonder what constitutes a breakdown. I've seen dramatic breakdowns and when I was a kid I threw fits, but now I tend to just have mini breakdowns and idk how much those count. For example the other week I got frustrated trying to put a phone holder in my car and ended up crying feeling useless (mechanical things are a weak point). However, I pulled myself together went inside my home and calmed down. Later I was able to rationally ask my partner to help.
there is a huge overlap!
I’m so scared to ask for an assessment I am scared I won’t be taken seriously because I don’t know how to not mask when in public
I totally get it, it is really scary to get an assessment, not because it's actually scary, but it is scary to face oneself and ask all the questions.
haha. All of it.
Except our difficulties are not our fault or of our doing, well most of them. There is growing understanding towards seeing autism as social disability, meaning others makes us disabled, we are great on our own, initially, until later, when life, which is made for us by others, basically treating us like we're mentally missing few bits, turns us into mental wrecks, and we stop doing great, even alone. If we make it that far. Remember what's number one cause of demise for autistic - seppuku.
Good points
Nice plants almost completely blocking a mirror lol
Lol exactly! Actually I just got
Em and they don’t have a place yet
@@WoodshedTheory o nice. I want to start having house plants but my cat is a shit disturber, we had a couple before and he did knock them over and stuff, eat them. We'll having to make sure to get something safe for the kitty cat
I'm watching this and almost crying thinking my boyfriend may be autistic. Remembering things he has told me, about how he consider many people friends and I said his definition was shallow. His family is too noisy and it really affects him, but now I think I underestimated how much this affects him. He's really good at many things. And he tells me how he needs to pretend around people, to adapt to people and how tiring this is.
I'm an INFJ and I understood it. But a personality type is far from being autism, so now I just....am sad thinking how everything he experience everyday is maybe 5x harder than I thought....
I really hope it's not. How to be sure? How to tell him? What to do from here? How to improve his life somehow?
Hmmmm I have a video about should you tell someone they are autistic that may help. I think the biggest thing is doing it privately.
You look lovely, love the jersey texture and the colour suits your hair colour and eyes.
Thank you so much 🙂
I never really had any best friends growing up and when I found my best friend as an adult I just told her "I'm weird, but I like you so you are my person, like a best friend and you can count on me for anything as long as you dont betray me I will be the best friend ever" and she very happily said "Really! I like that. " she's super sweet, my best friend. I love her. She knows I am bad at reaching out and can just hyper focus, so she regularly checks in on me. I do check on her. I just get distracted.
my melt downs are more of a temper thing when things go wrong like l cant get on like others when l need too or l cant understand whats going on or being said ect
Interesting thanks for sharing
I got at least half of those. I didn't realize that I'm most likely on the spectrum until I first realized that my 10 yr old son was probably on the spectrum, and then researching so much about autism because of that. And yes, my son was just diagnosed as being on the spectrum. I was diagnosed in the past myself as having ADHD (inattentive type). But my 'issues' go above and beyond just ADHD lol. I'm now pretty sure that I'm also on the spectrum. 🤷♀️
Thank you for sharing happy to have you