@@GHo224 Well, in this show his name is Azan (meaning 'call to prayer'). Could be spelled also as Azaan. Regarding your question, another Arabic male name, Hassan, in Arabic is pronounced like this: "huh-suhn". I live in the United Arab Emirates and speak Arabic, so this is how Arabic speakers here pronounce it anyhow. Morrocco has its own dialect, so it could differ a little there.
I think I saw from another comment in one of the videos from a Moroccan viewer that Hassan is his real name, that Azan is not even a real Moroccan name. Maybe they anglicised his name for the show 🤔 So I guess either way is fine cause that's a fictitious name anyway.
I'm a single mom and maybe I'm overprotective but I'm not letting my son call any man Daddy until that man marries me and files to paperwork to formally adopt and change my son's last name (my son's father is no longer with us). I just think it's a big deal. I don't want my son to think "Daddy" is any man I date. A father is a provider, a protector, and a man of character. It's a big role that isn't just given to anyone.
@_BibleBeltBelle Amén! I was a divorced mom and I never even let any man meet my very young kids until I dated my now husband of 21 years. You sound like a good mom. Bendiciones. 🙏
As someone whose name has been mispronounced all her life - I really appreciate Dr Honda making an effort to pronounce everyone’s name the way _they_ pronounce it. Edit: Wow it’s so interesting reading about all of your similar experiences! Love it!
Katrina M It’s Zena, which happens to be an uncommon name in both countries I’ve lived in. I was even once told I do not pronounce _my own_ name correctly bc it is not spelled the ‘English’ way (it is usually spelled differently as it was adapted to my first language, but this dude suggested it should be pronounced ‘Zeena’ even though I’d just introduced myself. Oh people...)
I was forced to call my mother's husband "dad" when I never felt comfortable around him. That started at 9 years old. He did horrific things to us, my mum's kids, and I never felt right about calling him dad. I never wanted to call him that. It's a sensitive thing. It can absolutely effect someone long term.
Re listen to what he said right after his point, it does hurt to form a relationship with the person, if the same guy you are talking about had came and gone in a month or two, i bet you would not remember him. Its because he turned into a big part of your life and influenced it greatly is why it causes you so much pain and long term effects. If you call some stranger for a few weeks daddy, I doubt I'll ever cause long term issues.
@@urbanmonkey48 What?! Are you kidding? Having to call every boyfriend your mom has daddy is so messed up. That's just one symptom of the problem that is having Nicole as a mother.
@@mmcmann9539 there is a difference between what you are being triggered by and what is being said. Of course doing it over and over will cause problems, hos point was if it happened once maybe twice and then mom met the right guy and that father didn't cause issues or if it happened 1 time and that was it the act especially at that age would not have long lasting trauma to your life. I agree with him and you but you don't know you are arguing yourself.
@@urbanmonkey48 Triggered? Arguing? I can already tell this is a waste of time to try to have a discussion with you. You obviously have no experience in the situation, unless you are a mom doing it (which I doubt, because you sound like a guy trying to mansplain and I don't throw that word around or even ever use it).
I thought she made her daughter call him daddy in order to pressure him to stay, after the cheating and him trying to break up. Which doesn't seem like a good way of mothering her baby to me
Personally I was so strict on exposing my son to my new partners when he was little. Even when he had no dad (dad didn’t show an interest or even meet him until he was nearly 4). I never let him call my male partners dad. Even when I was with one for a long time. He was always Steve. I went a bit too far the other way to be fair, I think a balance can be achieved. But I was so paranoid about my son growing up seeing men and women come and go out of my life. And that he would end up like his dead beat dad. That I didn’t even let my son meet my new partner until I’d been with them atleast 6 months. I can honestly say, don’t be as strict as I was. It puts a lot of strain on the relationship.
@@CWM-xl8ki when I was single, i was the same way! My daughter never met anyone! It's the smart way to be! It's unfair to the child to expose them to people who aren't going to be sticking around! Nicole is desperate for a man!
I really do hate their dynamic. But nicholes mom is right in the fact that she will take the financial burden of all three of them and has the right to be mad about that
Exactly! I'm sorry but the Doctor is not well informed of the dynamics of Azan and Nicole’s relationship. I don't blame the mom. Azan has shown us over and over again that he is using her!!
@@HopefulInterventions you don't blame the mom? for anything? she's an asshole. and the little brother too, and the stepdad... it's one thing to be rightfully upset and another completely to be a manipulative bully towards your daughter.
he's said multiple times she has the right to be mad. Everyone gets mad but most of us would not publicly try to shame people because they angered us. That is what's toxic. That she is participating in mocking to make herself look better and to bring others into the scapegoating system
@@HopefulInterventions he doesn't need to be "well informed" on the situation to provide the insight he's provided. There are so many of you hung up on the "right" and "wrong" that you completely miss the point to these videos I think. A therapist is not a judge. He's not judging their lives and deciding who's right. He's merely pointing out patterns that we can look for in our own real life relationships.
Nicole admitted to making May calling Azn "daddy" in order to force him to stay with her. She's said it out of her own mouth, why all the excuses for her?
@@mmcmann9539 the mom created Nicole's dependent nature & uses humiliation & shame to try & control her. The whole family is Fd up and needs individual & family therapy!
I feel like you shouldn’t tell your child to call someone dad. I have 2 kids and their dad’s isn’t in their life and my kids started to call my man dad by themselves even though I called him by his name to them. I’m not going to tell them to stop calling him dad because their feeling is that he is their dad and he’s going to adopt them when we get married. Nicole should be careful to not make her child confused and let her child choose what to call Azan by herself.
I have the same situation. I'm not with the fathers of my children, but my son calls my boyfriend dad without my having ever encouraged it. My daughter, who is older, admits that she thinks of my boyfriend as a dad and expects him to fill that role, but isn't yet comfortable calling him dad because she's worried about the future of his relationship with me. I wouldn't ask my kids or encourage my kids to call a man daddy. That puts too much pressure on the guy in my opinion.
I have a relative that uses shame to try to get their small children to behave. Of course when I told them it's very damaging they just got mad at me! Have to have a license to drive a car or go fishing but anyone can have a baby and screw them up for life :(
In my personal opinion, if you are going to be an adult and depend on your parents the way Nicole does, her mom has the total right to bring up the money she sends to Azan. You can’t beg mommy for money but then send it to your boyfriend but say she can’t say anything.
Madeline Roman I somewhat agree, but the way mom went about it was problematic. Mom should have voiced her concerns without all of the shaming we observed.
That doesn't give the mom the right to shame her daughter on national tv. Nicole wouldn't act the way she does if her mom didn't train her to be this way. Like Dr Honda said "if she had a family that had helped her to develop into a mature 22/23 yr old... she would be in a differentiated space, but she isn't, she's being shamed and put into a childish point of view"
@@nikkih4692 The mom simply stated facts...you guys can't keep saying to stop babying Nicole but then want her mom to walk on eggshells and bay Nicole....Anybody who thinks Nicole's mom is harsh all lived very privileged lives...Because he mom in no where near harsh...
@@livelovelifeandtravel865 I am not debating whether Nicole's mom has a right to feel/say how she feels. She does have that right. All I said is that she could do it in a more respectful way. Being respectful and mature is not the same thing as walking on eggshells. And making statements like "anybody who thinks..." is a blanket statement that definitely does not apply here, because people are allowed to see things from different perspectives without being labelled as "privileged". You don't know other people's stories.
Well they put it on the show as Azan, even though it’s Hassan. You’re right about how everyone pronounces it different even in the show. Joe is the most brutal with how he refers to him.
Maybe Grandma is frightened that May will suffer if she doesn't bail Nicole out, and maybe Nicole suggests that will happen, to her mum too? My sister frequently did this to my parents when she had her son. He was frequently used as a pawn. And very sadly he was used as a means of control by all three. I left as soon as I could
Sue, I agree with you! In one episode when nicole threatened her mom with moving to Morocco, she saw the panic and tears her mother had and she just sat there smirking at her. I think nicole has used May against the mother more than once. Mom knows this person, we only get glimpses. However, those glimpses have been enough to convince me and many others that nicole is not making good choices when it comes to child nor are her actions acceptable! If it wasnt for May, I think mom would have given nicole the boot a long time ago.
The mom still has options on how she chooses to deal with this scenario. I think Dr. Honda just points out how the system they are using now is unhealthy for either of them; unhealthy for the whole family actually.
Hey dr kirk , im following u from morocco, i really appreciate the hard work u put in ur video , just want to assure u , that u're right about the way u pronounced Azan , the second letter a it's emphasized , not like the host has said the name
It's being totally mispronounced altogether because his real name is Hassan, not Azan. Im not sure why they did that. Maybe an alias for him to protect his anonymity or maybe Nicole couldn't pronounce his real name. Most of the time she would say Azin or Hasin.
The mother should work on her emotional maturity. Her concern is understandable and 'normal', but the way she treats Nicole is self-centered and immature. She's frustrated because her daughter doesn't meet her need for reassurance. It's important that she realize that her daughter can't reassure her because she doesn't know what the future holds. Nicole can't tell her she won't move to Morocco, as well as she can't guarantee whether or not things will work out. The reason why she can't is because she doesn't know. Even when her mother tells her that Azan can't be trusted, which may be true, it doesn't help her at all. She definitely needs to be more objective but the mother should respect her decisions and validate her. Speaking of reassurance, Nicole is the first who needs it. She's investing a lot in this relationship: she travels to a foreign country, she faces cultural and language differences, and, last but not least, she has a daughter and responsibilities. She has to find the best way to live her relationship without hurting her daughter and, let's be honest, it's not easy at all. If her mother put herself in Nicole's place, she'd understand that things are not as easy and obvious as she thinks. Nicole does have some childish traits, but maybe they are due to the lack of validation. Nicole and her mother should consider starting therapy.
I love the way you put that. I hate how people look at the mom like awwww, she's being such a concerned, and good mother. No, there's something very wrong with what she's doing. The mom is totally acting this way for her own selfish desires. I honestly think NIcole would grow into a more independent, and better person if she got away from her mom...and all the way's the mom bails her out. It's like Nicole can't see what's really going on because of all the tension she's within. She just reacts rather than truly observe, and realize what's going on in her life. Her mom's behavior is distracting her from her own self-awareness. I think the mom truly likes Nicole being dependent.
@@DANNYTHEFROG123 I'm waiting to see this one. I saw a trailer, I could see the storm clouds gathering over Debbie when she realised what Colt was saying. I think he's going to get a shock when he finally sees the very nasty manipulative side of her!
I usually see comments that Nicole's Mom has the right to do what she does because she helps Nicole financially & with raising May. I can't help but wonder if the reason her Mom continues doing those things is so that she can be in Nicole's business. Something tells me that no matter who Nicole was in a relationship with her, her Mom would butt in. I might not agree with Nicole's choices but her Mom's behavior is wrong too. And look how the Mom sits there smugly when it looks like fellow castmates are judging her. It's just gross.
Yep I noticed that when it originally aired. The mom was only there to point out all her flaws to turn the cast against her. She wasn’t trying to help just shame in order to manipulate Nicole
@@SHyperice Right. What if the situation involved a spouse. Would the bread winner be allowed to talk down to the other because they provide financially? I don't believe that gives a person license to treat another adult like a child.
Too true. And unfortunately, what Nicole’s mom doesn’t realize is that this behavior inevitably makes herself look bad by making herself look like a bad mother with sadistic intentions (whether it’s really true or not).
The mom is definitely trying to shame her in hopes that Nicole will "see the light". Having access to her bank account is ridiculous because she's enabling her by bailing her out, she knows how her daughter is and where the money is going. If she's going to help she should pay the bill directly or give a gift card. I also don't doubt that Nicole uses her daughter as a bargaining chip when she doesn't get her way (money) with her mom. Same way she said they would move to Morocco if they didn't get a co-sponsor, same way she had May calling Azan daddy when he wouldn't speak to her. Her mother is a lot to handle and is parenting the only way she knows how and doesn't see anything wrong, but you know she loves her granddaughter and would do anything for her. When I went NC with my mother it was hurtful for her not to see or talk to my daughter and I think that's one of her fears with Nicole and so she gives in.
Do you not get she gives the money for the granddaughter? Nicole holds the well being of the child hostage to get what she wants for her own selfish childish needs. God forbid we ever find out what Nicole would do to May if her mother didn’t bail her out.
I would like to say that the host of the tell all’s never pronounced any foreign name correctly which is So frustrating so basing your pronunciation on hers isn’t advised!
I wish this was addressed more. It isn't all Robbalee's fault. Nicole was truly acting like a whiney adolescent on that couch. Time to grow up, manipulative buttercup. In the full Tell All I liked the way Molly shut her down a couple of times, but in a calm way, no yelling or snarking. While I understand it is important to try to understand Nicole's behavioral patterns, I feel this has become an "excuse channel", offering few ways she should be accountable and ways to correct her POOR behavior. Does Dr forget she is a woman, a mother, in her mid 20s? I know she looks 18 but...
bellissima78 with all respect I dont think dr honda makes excuses for Nicole he can understand why she behaves the way that she does. But I think her situation is way more complex because of her family dynamic. Sorry my english not my first language.
@@nmmarquesm I agree it is complex, but Dr Honda seems to heap all of the blame on Robalee and does not address Nicole's own responsability. If that never happens it seems like she can slide through life, into old age, never changing because "that's how she was raised." We can see her family dynamic is problematic, but from the many comments here, it is becoming tiring not hearing "tough talk" regarding Nicole as well. She is not an adolescent, she's (supposedly) an adult.
I don’t like Nicole’s mom and the way she treats Nicole, however Nicole doesn’t have a house to stay for her and Mae and she stays at her mom’s house, she asks her parents for money and in addition to that she leaves Mae to her mom every time she wants to go for a couple of months to visit Azan. The mom is shaming Nicole bc Nicole acts so immature while being 22 years old and also herself a mother. She kinda gives with her immature actions her mom permission to shame her bc she acts so childish and cannot take care of her child
I think your view on Nicole is sooo interesting because we are so hard on her. You are really lenient on Nicole. We are fans so we know more about Nicole’s background. In high school she moved across the country and moved in with someone - got pregnant - ended up coming back. So i think the love department gets HARSH treatment since this is her pattern. I also think you didn’t address her making him quit his job to spend more time talking to her. That is extremely controlling behavior. And when her mother or father ask what he does for work she never says “well he was working in a hotel but i would prefer if he didn’t work” she makes him sound like a bum who has no job.
I think peopke aren't getting the point though. She does things the way she does as a result of her upbringing. He isn't "lenient" on Nicole. He just understands the "why".
I think he’s trying to be unbiased and look at the situation as a professional. We only know what we are shown on tv so there’s many interpretations that we can come up with.
Nicole is no victim and takes advantage of her family but I doubt she actually made Azan quit. I think she asked for so much of his attention that he figured he would just ask her for money since she's a full-time job. 🤣😂
Doesn’t Hasan Minhaj say to pronounce his name like they do? Stressing the first ‘a’ I mean. His family is Indian so there could be a difference there, though.
@@kcmdjdkdn282 in arabic there are 2 names that seem the same if you write them in latin alphabet, there is HAssan and there is hassAAN. I don't know which one his actual name is
@@m.r.e.5731 nope there are different s in arabic one soft and one thick, this one is soft and it means good. with a thick one and emphasis on the end it means horse.
In the first 6 minutes, Shawn pronounces Nicole's mom's name two different ways (ROB-a-lee and ROBE-a-lee). Just to emphasize that she's not the pronunciation guide.
I don't know what worse here. First her mother shames her constantly in the regular season, then doubles down in the Tell All. I'd love to see her hold her tongue on the Tell All for the purpose of Nicole speaking for herself. Nicole needs to learn from mistakes on live TV.
But Nicole does not learn ? She has no dignity or shame. She has been embarrassing herself on worldwide tv from the beginning.Her mother just told what Nicole does constantly, having her daughter calling men she dates daddy?
I know-I can't decide which is worse-lol. Overall, I think Nicole is more the problem how she refuses to take responsibility for her own life decisions and forces her parents to intervene, but, I can't help but cringe watching the mom, father, and bratty little brother constantly shame and berate on live tv...
Nicole having her daughter call, what we now know is at least 3 men in her short life daddy, is nothing more than manipulative behavior to make the men feel as though they can’t leave their ‘daughter’ and feel obligated o stay with Nicole. It’s a really abusive and mature attitude to do that. May will see man after man that she bonds with and is taught to feel is her ‘dad’ leave her and her mother and it will effect her in her adult relationships.
Opening myself up to hate but Mae has a father. For whatever reason he isn't in the picture I wonder how come Mae isn't receiving child support, especially with a mother who has no stability.
Having come out of a relationship with a foreign man somewhat similar to this situation, with also a similar dynamic between me and my mom during that time, I believe the mom is just so tired of desperately trying to help Nicole see this relationship is not the best for her, that her comments are not as loving as they could be. Nicole is probably choosing to ignore the red flags because she is still holding onto the fantasy she holds too dearly in her heart and mind, thinking Azan is wonderful when we as outsiders don't see it. In a different relationship of mine that was long-term, one of my best friends didn't like my boyfriend at the time and would make some comments about him that were hurtful to me. After that relationship ended, I realized I was making excuses for his bad, probably abusive, behavior towards me. Getting upset at my friend for those comments was a reflection of myself not wanting to admit I had made poor choices.
The only red flag I see about the relationship is that she's sending him money and their relationship didn't start on that note. Nicole introduced that factor. To me, if either of them were serious about him coming to the US they would both work and save money because he can't work when he gets here. I actually don't think Nicole is anymore serious about Azan than he is about her. They seem equally invested.
If someone was physically pushing me around, I have zero tolerance for violence, so I would avoid tell-all like Azan too; especially since her family is there, I would be afraid too.
As a 20something the relationship with my mom (who still calls me her "baby" jokingly but respects me as a fellow adult and isn't invasive with her advice) has changed in such a great way in the last few years. I'm fairly independant and proud of it but I recognize that I've had decent parents guiding me that way and that if people like Nicole seem like they can't get by on their own, their upbringing might have cut their wings. It's so hard to see them both together, like physically painful. If you have a mom like hers I feel so sorry and hope you can find other fulfilling, supporting relationships ❤️
As the mom of an 18yo high school senior, I’m very interested in any insight or advice you might have on navigating this next phase of our relationship. He’s already extremely independent vs. his classmates (though we still do his laundry, pay all the bills, and buy most of the groceries.) As is natural for his age, he spends way more of his leisure time alone or with friends vs. with us. I’d like to remain relevant in his life over the long term, even assuming we end up living in different states. What are some things your mom has done to help your relationship grow and mature? Any suggestions for me as the parent of a boy in particular? 💐
Goosebump 801 If I had to point out a few things that makes me love my relationship with my mom, I'd say : when I lived at her place and I was visibly upset, she didn't assume but asked me what type of support I wanted (if I wanted to talk about it or just wanted to be alone in my bed and have her cook a comforting dinner for example). Even though I was entirely dependent on her, she seemed to take for granted that I deserved privacy and space ; I'm more introverted so I appreciated that a lot. We don't have a lot of hobbies in common but she often asked for my opinion for stuff around the house (groceries or changes in home decor for example), and asked if I wanted to accompany her going shopping but never complained if I didn't feel like it. Sure as a teenager/younger adult I was more into seeing my friends or being on my own, but the fact she accepted that (as you do as well) really made me feel respected instead of controled and that made it so I never was resentful towards her. Now that I moved out, I see her or talk over the phone at least once a week : we help each other out with little things when we can and talk a lot about our projects and what's going on with the family. I think it's normal to be a bit distanced when your son is kinda "exploring" independance but as long as there's not too much pressure on him to spend time with you or talk about his life (which from what you say doesn't seem to be the case anyway !) I'm sure he'll trust you a lot more and be more open in the near future ❤️
Dr Kirk, you certainly do model how to speculate in a respectful and intelligent way. Thanks for pointing out that this is part of what you are trying to teach in these videos. In a world of shouty, simplistic certainties it is so refreshing to see your nuanced approach, always seeking more data before drawing conclusions.
In my opinion the grandma would be more than happy if Nicole was independent what a huge relief that would be for her i am sure, however, as little Mays grandma she has real concern. I sincerely respect the professionalism of others but there are times when people know through experience and wisdom in my opinion.
Spoiler Alert: This no-show at the Tell-All is pretty much never mentioned and the next season is mostly about her filing and getting results for Azan's visa.
I'm from the Balkans and the name Hasan exists in Bosnia. They have not been pronouncing his name correctly on the show, but that happens a lot with foreign names on this show it seems 😬
oh gosh I feel I am such a bad person, I am so with Nicole's mom. if nicole is my girl I might have done the same thing, or just slightly less than her
She's so beautiful, empathetic and loving, I don't get where Nicole comes from. They might have exchanged her true baby for Nicole back at the hospital.
@@pressed4time in the middle east we usually use our grandfathers first name as our last name but when moving to America or telling Americans, we may use our grandfather’s name and make that our forever last name OR we use the “family name” which is showing the family lineage but it’s more obscure.
Ashara Crow I agree. He rarely places any responsibilities for HER actions at her door. It’s amazing to me. I’m not under any illusion and I’m not buying into it completely, I have to say (my choice)
Agreed. He's never, ever critical of her. Even though there is A LOT that he could be critical about. I understand that Nicole's mom's communication and actions aren't perfect, but her mom is more mature and often behaves better than Nicole to be frank. So I don't get why he's so hung up on defending Nicole and all her short comings, while crucifying the mom...
@@inesolujic2534 I think because he forgets she is well into adulthood, since she looks like an overgrown toddler. Also, her abuse gets brushed over which is starting to make me side eye these videos. Even here....when they show the clips of Nicole shoving and manhandling Azan, her mom is upset FOR Nicole....and the Dr agrees with her? How about "Mom/grandma once again puts no blame on Nicole and deflects it onto Azan for 'upsetting her."
I can't speak for Dr Honda but I personally align with Nicole because my Mom is very similar. My Mom has tried to run my life and tell me what I'm going to do and refusing to let me make a decision for myself. Seeing Robbielee is a huge trigger for me because she so overbearing and refuses to listen to Nicole. Now there are big differences between Nicole and I, I'm married with no children, starting a legal career and my Mom hasn't given me anything since I was 23 (29 now). With that being said, I want to scream at Robbielee the same thing I screamed at my Mom. Nicole is a full grown adult despite how she acts. She's capable and has made her own decisions, Robbielee has made it clear that she disagrees with Nicole's decisions. Great! Now back off! I get that there's a child involved but it's not Robbielee's child. If she's so worried about May then get custody or temporary guardianship. If Nicole really did spend quarantine out of the country it's not gonna be hard to get custody. But the constant rude and passive aggressive comments tick me off! I see all of Nicole's issues and the issues in her relationship with Azan but for me Robbielee is overbearing and is doing nothing to help the situation. If Robbielee wants Nicole to grow up stop giving her stuff! After I heard no for the first time, I stopped asking for stuff because I had to get it on my own. Even though my Mom would still give me stuff I never asked for it. Last year I ended up screaming at my Mom because she was doing the same stuff Robbielee is doing, like telling me what I was gonna do, making passive aggressive comments calling me out in front of family members and the list goes on. I ended up telling her I'm not a child and she has to treat me like an adult. She tried to guilt trip me by holding what she does over my head, like Robbielee does Nicole. But unlike Nicole my Mom didn't give me money or anything of value so she couldn't manipulate me to get what she wanted. I know that's long but that's why I align with Nicole. Robbielee just triggers my personal relationship with my Mom.
@@mrsa6925 because she's a product of her family and the doctor can see that its not entirely her fault the way she is. She cant help it unless she gets therapy.
Dr Honda, not only did Azan not turn up for the 'tell all' he actually ghosted her and ignored all her calls, texts, emails for 3 days before the 'tell all' too. He suddenly turns up again as soon as they finish filming the 'tell all'.
I lived with my sister and nephew for 9 years. I heard her constantly tell her son that every guy she brought home was "Daddy". Now he's 11 and has no respect for the word because of it. Is it Nicole's choice? Absolutely. But the mom sees the impact this pattern will have later on. I don't like Nicole's mom for the most part, but I do agree with this one. Nicole may make the decision but it'll be May that suffers from it - and it _will_ be damaging.
I think Nicole’s mom was desperate and seeking support, since she likely couldn’t reason with Nicole, she’s appealing to a greater audience who will agree with her.
She wasn't appealing to them...she was trying to shame her daughter in order to get her way. The dynamic between both of them is just so wrong lol Both of them play a part, but the mom set a horrible standard.
Thats libby. She this season ran around Moldova with bun right on the tippy top of her head. Emphasizing her full cheeks. Wasn't a good choice. When her hair is down straight , she is gorgeous.
I have to admit, I started out like, "I cannot STAND Nicole." Now, watching this series, I'm starting to see the nuances and feel a lot more empathy for her. Thanks, Dr. Kirk! I find this series so calming and helpful.
I love Dr. Kirk and truly enjoy and respect his content. HOWEVER, it makes my skin crawl when he sticks up for Nicole EVERY TIME. Is her mom a piece of work? Yes, 100%. Does her brother demean her? Totally. It’s not a great situation she’s in, BUT SHE’S AN ABUSER. If she was a man, he wouldn’t be so quick to defend her. Also, Azan doesn’t have money because Nicole INSISTED he leave his job so he can talk to her whenever SHE wants to talk to him. I can’t be the only one who remembers that conversation.
I worried about this too...the fact she pushed him to quit his job because she would get upset he can't text her. She can't get his texts at work either, but she won't understand if the role is reversed. It seems like a way for her to control, isolate and manipulate him. If a male abuser wants to control his partner, its the same pattern. He controls the money, outside contact, and conversation. I worry for Azan. :( In Dr. Honda's defense though, he has stated he isn't necessarily pulling for these two as a couple.
S Fooshy the show runners actually changed his name to azan. in the first episode where he introduces himself he says his name is hassan. the show runners probably wanted to americanize his name so they said his name was azan even though from the beginning he gave his correct name.
I disagree with the assessment of Nicole's mom shaming her. Her mom is merely bringing up irresponsible and pathetic facts- Nicole is broke but sends money to Azan and May shouldn't be calling every dude 'dad'. Nicole pay you or something? Also, humans 'lie' down. Objects 'lay'. I remember it this way--> humans lie so they don't lay down, they lie down. Hope that helps!
@@mayamorabito1669 yeah... But I still wonder what happened in the translation or... Just why? His mom called him حسن. That I am pretty sure of. So I would say since she gave (or at least was involved in giving) him his name... Imma call him like his mom calls him 🤣
I don't think Dr. Honda is downplaying what Nicole did. In previous videos, he called it abuse, and, commented in the comment section (loose paraphrase) that he agreed if it were Azan being abusive, Azan would have gotten worse treatment from society. In this episode, he focused on the grandmother's reaction to the conflict. Some people are content with a simplistic label, but, many of us are interested in the motivations behind abuse. Well trained clinicians see a rather slow motion of thoughts, processes, and behaviors to better serve the clients and society at large.
"OH GOOD NICOLE IS STANDING UP FOR HERSELF! YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY LOVE HER AND STILL THINK SHE'S DONE WRONG!" Your dedication to always being wrong is maddening. I'm genuinely at a loss as to how someone can arrive at your conclusions.
I have to take a moment to thank you, I truly appreciate your courage to do this, i understand that you probably get positive feedback and personal gain from this channel, I also know you took personal risk and overcame fear and doubt to help us and the world. This channel is not the biggest on RUclips but I pray that we that are watching share this with everyone we know. Its a blessing that we get a man with this knowledge that took time and money to achieve is sharing with people who need it. He is not just a therapist, He is a good therapist and able to articulate it to the people in a entertaining way. God bless. Please share.
Jude Fenwick woah woah woah no body shaming here tyvm, if you had been listening to this series you would know that both of them have their own issues and I personally don’t believe that one of them is better than the other because they both have their own deep rooted issues that they need to work on.
@@sarajane5306 Not for Nicole it isn't. It has been 4 years and she neglects her daughter because she is still obsessed with Azan and her attention from social media, based on her time on the show. Sorry I think something is really wrong with her. She is beyond manipulative and selfish. I don't care about the family dynamics. She abandoned her daughter during a pandemic for nearly 6 months!
I took this episode so close to the heart. My mom does this to me all the time, that’s why I’m even now having a hard time separating and doing my best own thing as a mom as a person.
If it's not an English (name) all the vowels will sounds the same. Dr. Honda I've been so happy throughout this series to hear you pronounce it in.....an international (and more than likely) correct way ❤️ but we also love your effort to possibly correct yourself. Signed, a person who's name is rarely pronounced correctly.
Your name looks so interesting, where is it from and how do you pronounce it correctly if i may ask? By instinct i would pronounce it either like nAsirA or nasEEra :)
@@user-nw7up6hc7y It's an Arabic name thought I myself am not Arabic. Original pronunciation is "Nah-zira", I enjoy when I run into ppl who say it like this. Spanish and Italian speakers say it similarly. But within the US English I encourage and accept "Nuh-sear-rah" as I got burnt out on a childhood of "Oh, so it's nuh-sarah!"
"Putting someone down" doesn't even intend to be helpful in my opinion, only make them feel bad or guilty, while criticism can be clumsy and unhelpful but usually intends to improve things. But that's just how I interpret it !
@katj I agree. Dr Honda isn't really looking at this as a mom who is sick of nicoles crap and has seen this time and time again and she's beyond frustrated but still pretty much keeping her cool. He's looking at it like poor nicole look at this controlling mom who keeps putting her down lol. Come on Dr honda! If we all see it you should too lol😂
To this doc...None....Just shut up and let her do her thing and make her mistakes because she's grown...If my mom saw me running into a brick wall and held her tongue because she didn't want to come off controlling I would think she didn't care about me.
Dr Kirk: Really enjoyed watching the Nicole & Azan reactions. More to come in the next season :) Molly & Luis would be a great couple to react to, as would Andrei & Elizabeth.
“It’s my money” 😂😂 it’s the tax payers where you get your benefits from and some of the shows and sometimes your hardworking mom’s money. I don’t feel bad for her shaming her she’s probably tired of raising her she still acts like a child.
I know right? Mom pays all her Bill's and gor her May. But anything I make is spending money...mine. so I can send it to Azan and Mom just gives me more.
Except this woman is not raising an adult, she is raising an adult-baby. That's the whole point of the entire series on Nicole. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I don’t think it matters how this guy’s name is pronounced. Let’s not miss the point that Nicole was not important enough for him to show up and be there for her. But knowing how desperate she is, she will of course put up with anything he does to her.
I was under the impression that his name was actually Hassan, and they changed it to Azan on the show to make the "American audience" more comfortable.. which is probably why his family is saying Ah-zahn rather then Az-en. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong. There's a shot in one of the episodes with a picture of Nicole and Azan in a picture frame, but the name written on the frame is Hassan.
I actually heard that Azan real name is actually Hassan. Which would explain the family's pronuctuation of his name. I heard they had to change his name for the show for some weird reason 🤔 idk I may be totally wrong about it
The way you think you can read Nicole's mind, and her thoughts are always apparently in direct opposition to what she says and does, has reached delusional levels.
I'm DISGUSTED by her mother's behaviour. Just as you pointed out, it seems like all she wants to do is shame Nicole. Can the mother just let Nicole speak for a minute without interrupting or expressing in some way that what she is saying/doing is wrong. oh my god
Dr.Honda could you please speculate about the current situation with Nicole going to Morocco w/o Mae in March(she ignored all of the covid warnings)! Then promptly got stuck with excuse after I'm not judging after excuse why she is still in Morocco. Mae is with Grandma and I honestly want your thoughts on the long term effects this could had on Mae. Especially knowing it's all documented and this kid will see she chose leave her during a pandemic. Please I'm not shaming I just need to know your take on the matter.
I'm sooo insterested in your reaction to Colt and Larissa. I feel like you'd be entertained by this couple just like me and the others who are also recommending them :)
His name is actually Hassan M'Raouni. There was an art piece on Nicole’s dresser that said Hassan and Nicole and that was the name on his “visa” paperwork the show forgot to blur his real name. People pronounce Azan all different ways, especially Joe (Nicole’s stepfather) who pronounces it as Asson!
I love your take on things but i must disagree with you on this one. I did not think it is okay that a woman encourages her child to call one man after another daddy. IT DOES HAVE A LONG TERM AFFECT ON THE CHILD! It also sends a message that a daddy is temporary and not long term or reliable. Daddy ,like Mommy is a name that is earned not given to an almost stranger before he ever meets a child. Sorry Doc...you are way wrong about this one.
Agree...very disappointed. They are not just 'titles' like Mr or Mrs. Mom and Dad are roles and roles kids learn about at school as well. "Why do I have 3 daddies who bounced?" is not going to be a good feeling.
Well bc it’s not a word in a vacuum. They’ll go to school and realize what daddy means yo other people. And start to learn what a daddy is. What a daddy does. And if they do or don’t have a daddy. I think the dr specifically mentioned it wouldn’t affect the child who was 1 at the time, so I don’t think his comment was associated with her she. Or that’s how i took it.
If Azan is named after "Azan" which is the name of the islamic prayer call (which is very likely since he is from a muslim family from what i remember) then you were pronounciating it right as Azaaaaan. That is how it's pronounced in arabic as well (arabic speaker over here). But if he is named after something else then dunno lol.
@@GHo224 hassan would not be pronounced with a Z-sound, like zebra. Also it is pronounced with a hard H-sound in the beginning and the pronounciation ryhmes with the american pronounciation av "lesson" hhehe
@@black91ize i know that i am arab 😉 Nicole during the fight called him almost correctly too the H is always difficult for non arab speakers. I rechecked how his aunt called him it is HAssan as in حسن
Wrong. His name is حسن.(Hassan) آذان )call for the prayer) Is not a person name. I am a 30 year old Moroccan, and an Arab. And never have I ever seen Azhan as a name. Why do people spread false data?
I am literally living this situation. I have known my grandmother my whole life as my mother and she is now stage four and 72 and I have my almost 8 month old . It’s interesting to see you react to this one
The mom is probably resentful having to take care of Nicole that it comes out by shaming Nicole. It’s not a good way to deal with it but again, maybe Dr. Honda is way too nice to Nicole.
But, what's wrong with that? His trying to understand Nichole. His whole career and profession is to analyze and help people through their problem. I've realized that he also uses attachment theory to develop his analysis of a person and too completely understand that theory and apply it is more difficult said than done. So, I can see how it can come across as being too kind. I think once someone really starts to understand and learn about psychology, you end up developing a perspective of sympathy towards a lot of people. Can you imagine being viewed by millions of people and your mother is airings out embarrassing details of your relationship? She was intentionally doing it as well. Really try and put yourself in that situation. I bet a lot of people would freeze up and act the way she did.
He is always too nice when it comes to Nicole. He always takes her side. We have no idea what she has fully put her mom through so that’s probably why her mom is the way she is. If her mom saw her financially taking care of herself and her daughter, her attitude would change.
@@katyesp He's not trying to understand Nicole..he just repeats the same three phrases, every video he does on them...that some how impresses you guys....he just makes Nicole's mom look horrible for just trying to help...and Blames all Nicole's problems on her mom...Not sure what world this Doc lives in but not ever taking accountability for your actions is a quick road to failing at life.
@@pvdm4684 Once again its a reality TV show...where to objective of the show, is to show to reality of ones life...unless your saying Nicole's is too stupid to realize what she was getting herself into....Facts are Facts...if the facts are embarrassing but Nicole is the one who actually did the action...why aren't we talking about that....Nicole did the action...the mom simplly said words...but this is how the Doc and all he's stans likes to treat Nicole..Nicole does wrong thing../.time to deflect and put it back on the mom...
Thanks for uploading all these insightful thoughts and what comes out of your face ! 😁🙌 Helps me seeing things from a different perspective. Also did you consider to add Andre and Elizabeth to your portfolio of 90 day fiance couples you watch ?
Fwiw Azan's real name is Hassan and as far as I can tell he doesn't really care how people pronounce his fake name for the show. Even Nicole has pronounced it in different ways.
In Arabic cultures, sometimes the son is called by the fathers or grandfather's name. Since they are all living in the same household, they might call him Azan in order to avoid confusion.
I was the scapegoat in my family too (except my siblings never talked to me like that) my mom acts just like Nicole's mom. But at least I actually got away from her and grew up. Nicole is financially dependent on her parents, her parents do her decision making as well, and that does hinder her from progressing mentally and emotionally.
How did Nicole's mom says a horrible thing...Nicole dated a guy and had May call him dad...She stated a fact...what definition of horrible does this Doc have.
![Quando Rondo - Life Goes On [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/eIf3fhMXAow/mqdefault.jpg)
In Arabic, you are pronouncing his name correctly. I always felt it was weird Nicole always mispronounced it.
I don't think Nicole has enough respect for Azan and his culture to pronounce his name correctly. She just doesn't care.
Is his name HAssan or hassAN? cause in arabic those are different names
I feel like she pronounces it wrong on purpose and Azan just got sick of correcting her.
@@GHo224 Well, in this show his name is Azan (meaning 'call to prayer'). Could be spelled also as Azaan. Regarding your question, another Arabic male name, Hassan, in Arabic is pronounced like this: "huh-suhn". I live in the United Arab Emirates and speak Arabic, so this is how Arabic speakers here pronounce it anyhow. Morrocco has its own dialect, so it could differ a little there.
@@nikkih4692 this is good to know thank you
I would go with how Azan's family pronounces his name.
How do they say it? Az or Hass? I'm not familiar with the show just curious
Right. Why be confused by how people, who aren’t family, pronounce his name
I think I saw from another comment in one of the videos from a Moroccan viewer that Hassan is his real name, that Azan is not even a real Moroccan name. Maybe they anglicised his name for the show 🤔 So I guess either way is fine cause that's a fictitious name anyway.
cheesesmiles well said!
@@suicidefish8499 It's an Islamic name. And he is Muslim.
I'm a single mom and maybe I'm overprotective but I'm not letting my son call any man Daddy until that man marries me and files to paperwork to formally adopt and change my son's last name (my son's father is no longer with us). I just think it's a big deal. I don't want my son to think "Daddy" is any man I date. A father is a provider, a protector, and a man of character. It's a big role that isn't just given to anyone.
Good for you, I like when it is the childrens choice to get adopted by a step parent, not imposed.
Love this point of view! It’s child centered which is great ❤️
Wonderful! You are a mature woman and put the well being of your children first.
FACTS
@_BibleBeltBelle Amén! I was a divorced mom and I never even let any man meet my very young kids until I dated my now husband of 21 years. You sound like a good mom. Bendiciones. 🙏
Shawn gets nearly ALL the foreigners names wrong. It’s like she doesn’t even watch the show. So annoying Jihoon is “Jah hoon” Usmen is “Us-men”
As someone whose name has been mispronounced all her life - I really appreciate Dr Honda making an effort to pronounce everyone’s name the way _they_ pronounce it.
Edit: Wow it’s so interesting reading about all of your similar experiences! Love it!
Okay I'm curious what's your name lol
Is it actually Sweetie Dahling?? 😉
Brit Ferguson ha ha I wish
Katrina M It’s Zena, which happens to be an uncommon name in both countries I’ve lived in. I was even once told I do not pronounce _my own_ name correctly bc it is not spelled the ‘English’ way (it is usually spelled differently as it was adapted to my first language, but this dude suggested it should be pronounced ‘Zeena’ even though I’d just introduced myself. Oh people...)
@@sweetiedahling8137 that's a beautiful name!
Don't trust Shawn's pronunciation of anybody. She's gotten them wrong before.
She is the worst host/interviewer. They so need someone else!
J
nincure we need a petition to get dr.honda to host the new season lool
Yes she pronounced Usmans wrong she kept calling him usmin
@@onibuggii haha he would be too calm for them I think 😂
I was forced to call my mother's husband "dad" when I never felt comfortable around him. That started at 9 years old. He did horrific things to us, my mum's kids, and I never felt right about calling him dad. I never wanted to call him that. It's a sensitive thing. It can absolutely effect someone long term.
I was forced to call my stepmother “mom” and she was vicious and abusive to me my whole childhood . I stopped calling her mom as an adult
Re listen to what he said right after his point, it does hurt to form a relationship with the person, if the same guy you are talking about had came and gone in a month or two, i bet you would not remember him. Its because he turned into a big part of your life and influenced it greatly is why it causes you so much pain and long term effects. If you call some stranger for a few weeks daddy, I doubt I'll ever cause long term issues.
@@urbanmonkey48 What?! Are you kidding? Having to call every boyfriend your mom has daddy is so messed up. That's just one symptom of the problem that is having Nicole as a mother.
@@mmcmann9539 there is a difference between what you are being triggered by and what is being said. Of course doing it over and over will cause problems, hos point was if it happened once maybe twice and then mom met the right guy and that father didn't cause issues or if it happened 1 time and that was it the act especially at that age would not have long lasting trauma to your life. I agree with him and you but you don't know you are arguing yourself.
@@urbanmonkey48 Triggered? Arguing? I can already tell this is a waste of time to try to have a discussion with you. You obviously have no experience in the situation, unless you are a mom doing it (which I doubt, because you sound like a guy trying to mansplain and I don't throw that word around or even ever use it).
I thought she made her daughter call him daddy in order to pressure him to stay, after the cheating and him trying to break up. Which doesn't seem like a good way of mothering her baby to me
She's just smart enough to be dangerous. Using your kid as a manipulation tool is so sick.
Personally I was so strict on exposing my son to my new partners when he was little. Even when he had no dad (dad didn’t show an interest or even meet him until he was nearly 4). I never let him call my male partners dad. Even when I was with one for a long time. He was always Steve. I went a bit too far the other way to be fair, I think a balance can be achieved.
But I was so paranoid about my son growing up seeing men and women come and go out of my life. And that he would end up like his dead beat dad. That I didn’t even let my son meet my new partner until I’d been with them atleast 6 months.
I can honestly say, don’t be as strict as I was. It puts a lot of strain on the relationship.
@@CWM-xl8ki doesn't sound too strict, sounds smart to be cautious!
CeeCee thank you ❤️
I spose it’s part of being a parent isn’t it. Protecting your babies at all costs and sheltering them from adult issues.
@@CWM-xl8ki when I was single, i was the same way! My daughter never met anyone! It's the smart way to be! It's unfair to the child to expose them to people who aren't going to be sticking around! Nicole is desperate for a man!
I really do hate their dynamic. But nicholes mom is right in the fact that she will take the financial burden of all three of them and has the right to be mad about that
Lol true ..but ONLY that. The mom can be manipulative imo
Exactly! I'm sorry but the Doctor is not well informed of the dynamics of Azan and Nicole’s relationship. I don't blame the mom. Azan has shown us over and over again that he is using her!!
@@HopefulInterventions you don't blame the mom? for anything? she's an asshole. and the little brother too, and the stepdad... it's one thing to be rightfully upset and another completely to be a manipulative bully towards your daughter.
he's said multiple times she has the right to be mad. Everyone gets mad but most of us would not publicly try to shame people because they angered us. That is what's toxic. That she is participating in mocking to make herself look better and to bring others into the scapegoating system
@@HopefulInterventions he doesn't need to be "well informed" on the situation to provide the insight he's provided. There are so many of you hung up on the "right" and "wrong" that you completely miss the point to these videos I think. A therapist is not a judge. He's not judging their lives and deciding who's right. He's merely pointing out patterns that we can look for in our own real life relationships.
Nicole admitted to making May calling Azn "daddy" in order to force him to stay with her. She's said it out of her own mouth, why all the excuses for her?
Exactly!
lavinder11 Really?! When did she say that?
@@mrsa6925 she said on either a call in show, her Instagram, or something like that. But she did admit it
I don't get it. It is completely baffling to me that Nicole gets excuses, and the mother is the bad guy.
@@mmcmann9539 the mom created Nicole's dependent nature & uses humiliation & shame to try & control her. The whole family is Fd up and needs individual & family therapy!
I feel like you shouldn’t tell your child to call someone dad. I have 2 kids and their dad’s isn’t in their life and my kids started to call my man dad by themselves even though I called him by his name to them. I’m not going to tell them to stop calling him dad because their feeling is that he is their dad and he’s going to adopt them when we get married. Nicole should be careful to not make her child confused and let her child choose what to call Azan by herself.
I have the same situation. I'm not with the fathers of my children, but my son calls my boyfriend dad without my having ever encouraged it. My daughter, who is older, admits that she thinks of my boyfriend as a dad and expects him to fill that role, but isn't yet comfortable calling him dad because she's worried about the future of his relationship with me. I wouldn't ask my kids or encourage my kids to call a man daddy. That puts too much pressure on the guy in my opinion.
And that makes you an excellent mom:)
Dr Kirk pleeeeeeease can you react to Colt, Debbie and Larissa? I think you'd have so many interesting observations
He’s reacted to some of them I think
Just Kat No he hasn’t.
Ohsoalucid hm, I must have just been thinking of Larissa and Jess’s episode he reviewed
@@Theonlyjustkat he didn't review that either
Yes! I completely agree. I want to hear an assessment on the mother -son emeshment and Colt's possible sex addiction.
"Other randos" Surely a clinical term. Perfect!
I laughed that Dr. Honda called them that and looked through the comments to see who else found that interesting 😆
haha, I laughed so hard when he said that 😂😂
When he said "the Shaun person" 💀
I have a relative that uses shame to try to get their small children to behave. Of course when I told them it's very damaging they just got mad at me! Have to have a license to drive a car or go fishing but anyone can have a baby and screw them up for life :(
@Sharon Cinna 😢
In my personal opinion, if you are going to be an adult and depend on your parents the way Nicole does, her mom has the total right to bring up the money she sends to Azan. You can’t beg mommy for money but then send it to your boyfriend but say she can’t say anything.
Madeline Roman I somewhat agree, but the way mom went about it was problematic. Mom should have voiced her concerns without all of the shaming we observed.
That doesn't give the mom the right to shame her daughter on national tv. Nicole wouldn't act the way she does if her mom didn't train her to be this way. Like Dr Honda said "if she had a family that had helped her to develop into a mature 22/23 yr old... she would be in a differentiated space, but she isn't, she's being shamed and put into a childish point of view"
@@nikkih4692 The mom simply stated facts...you guys can't keep saying to stop babying Nicole but then want her mom to walk on eggshells and bay Nicole....Anybody who thinks Nicole's mom is harsh all lived very privileged lives...Because he mom in no where near harsh...
@@lagomorph770 They all signed up to be on TV..REALITY ...Meaning you show the reality of your lives...and stating Facts is Not shaming..
@@livelovelifeandtravel865 I am not debating whether Nicole's mom has a right to feel/say how she feels. She does have that right. All I said is that she could do it in a more respectful way. Being respectful and mature is not the same thing as walking on eggshells. And making statements like "anybody who thinks..." is a blanket statement that definitely does not apply here, because people are allowed to see things from different perspectives without being labelled as "privileged". You don't know other people's stories.
I’ve heard almost everyone say his name both ways! Don’t feel badly at all!
Well they put it on the show as Azan, even though it’s Hassan. You’re right about how everyone pronounces it different even in the show. Joe is the most brutal with how he refers to him.
CaliMom Michelle it’s not Hassan
They totally do and it's confusing. I am pretty sure is Uh-zahn and the Americans are Anglicizing it.
@@Name-oz4lq his real name is Hassan, he uses Azan for the show only
@@Name-oz4lq it is, sometimes you even hear nicole accidentally say hassan on the show in heated moments
Another interesting family dynamic is Colt, Larissa, and Debbie. A lot of “mommy issues”
Colte, Larisssa & Deybee
He's planning on reacting to them, their on his list. Looking forward to it myself very interesting
would love to see his take on it
Orla Ashe I’m ready for that!
They’re the MOST interesting & twisted
Maybe Grandma is frightened that May will suffer if she doesn't bail Nicole out, and maybe Nicole suggests that will happen, to her mum too? My sister frequently did this to my parents when she had her son. He was frequently used as a pawn. And very sadly he was used as a means of control by all three. I left as soon as I could
Saw the exact same in my family. Only my sister used 3 kids. Sisters crap took over the whole family.
Sue, I agree with you! In one episode when nicole threatened her mom with moving to Morocco, she saw the panic and tears her mother had and she just sat there smirking at her. I think nicole has used May against the mother more than once. Mom knows this person, we only get glimpses. However, those glimpses have been enough to convince me and many others that nicole is not making good choices when it comes to child nor are her actions acceptable! If it wasnt for May, I think mom would have given nicole the boot a long time ago.
The mom still has options on how she chooses to deal with this scenario. I think Dr. Honda just points out how the system they are using now is unhealthy for either of them; unhealthy for the whole family actually.
@@kokolatte825 exactly. It’s not one person’s fault. Both Nicole and her mom enable the system to continue.
Hey dr kirk , im following u from morocco, i really appreciate the hard work u put in ur video , just want to assure u , that u're right about the way u pronounced Azan , the second letter a it's emphasized , not like the host has said the name
It is unfortunate that the Americans on the show can't make the effort to pronounce his name properly. :'(
It's being totally mispronounced altogether because his real name is Hassan, not Azan. Im not sure why they did that. Maybe an alias for him to protect his anonymity or maybe Nicole couldn't pronounce his real name. Most of the time she would say Azin or Hasin.
The mother should work on her emotional maturity. Her concern is understandable and 'normal', but the way she treats Nicole is self-centered and immature. She's frustrated because her daughter doesn't meet her need for reassurance. It's important that she realize that her daughter can't reassure her because she doesn't know what the future holds. Nicole can't tell her she won't move to Morocco, as well as she can't guarantee whether or not things will work out. The reason why she can't is because she doesn't know. Even when her mother tells her that Azan can't be trusted, which may be true, it doesn't help her at all. She definitely needs to be more objective but the mother should respect her decisions and validate her. Speaking of reassurance, Nicole is the first who needs it. She's investing a lot in this relationship: she travels to a foreign country, she faces cultural and language differences, and, last but not least, she has a daughter and responsibilities. She has to find the best way to live her relationship without hurting her daughter and, let's be honest, it's not easy at all. If her mother put herself in Nicole's place, she'd understand that things are not as easy and obvious as she thinks. Nicole does have some childish traits, but maybe they are due to the lack of validation. Nicole and her mother should consider starting therapy.
This is a great perspective!!
@@hopebullard460 Thank you!
The whole family needs therapy!
@@lagomorph770 Yeah, it'd be a good idea.
I love the way you put that. I hate how people look at the mom like awwww, she's being such a concerned, and good mother. No, there's something very wrong with what she's doing. The mom is totally acting this way for her own selfish desires. I honestly think NIcole would grow into a more independent, and better person if she got away from her mom...and all the way's the mom bails her out. It's like Nicole can't see what's really going on because of all the tension she's within. She just reacts rather than truly observe, and realize what's going on in her life. Her mom's behavior is distracting her from her own self-awareness. I think the mom truly likes Nicole being dependent.
Curious what you’re thoughts would be on Colt and Debbie?
Elizabeth and Andrei too! (Especially her family)
H G he would have a field day with Chantal & Pedro & their crazy families
Colt finally told his mom last nights episode to butt out. She was so mad lol
Plus from season 1- mark and Nikki and his odd fascination with his first wife !! Constantly comparing Nikki to his ex ; it was really unsettling
@@DANNYTHEFROG123 I'm waiting to see this one. I saw a trailer, I could see the storm clouds gathering over Debbie when she realised what Colt was saying. I think he's going to get a shock when he finally sees the very nasty manipulative side of her!
I usually see comments that Nicole's Mom has the right to do what she does because she helps Nicole financially & with raising May.
I can't help but wonder if the reason her Mom continues doing those things is so that she can be in Nicole's business. Something tells me that no matter who Nicole was in a relationship with her, her Mom would butt in.
I might not agree with Nicole's choices but her Mom's behavior is wrong too.
And look how the Mom sits there smugly when it looks like fellow castmates are judging her. It's just gross.
I resonate with your comment. It is like... when one pays and provides (s)he is allowed to be mean...
Yep I noticed that when it originally aired. The mom was only there to point out all her flaws to turn the cast against her. She wasn’t trying to help just shame in order to manipulate Nicole
Agreed
@@SHyperice Right. What if the situation involved a spouse. Would the bread winner be allowed to talk down to the other because they provide financially? I don't believe that gives a person license to treat another adult like a child.
Too true. And unfortunately, what Nicole’s mom doesn’t realize is that this behavior inevitably makes herself look bad by making herself look like a bad mother with sadistic intentions (whether it’s really true or not).
The grandmother was just being honest about Nicole making May call different men “daddy”. That is too confusing for a child.
I 100 percent agree, however, it is extremely embarrassing on natl tv to out your child like that. I'd be embarrassed.
Public embarrassment is usually never a good and healthy route to take to push someone to change.
The mom is definitely trying to shame her in hopes that Nicole will "see the light". Having access to her bank account is ridiculous because she's enabling her by bailing her out, she knows how her daughter is and where the money is going. If she's going to help she should pay the bill directly or give a gift card. I also don't doubt that Nicole uses her daughter as a bargaining chip when she doesn't get her way (money) with her mom. Same way she said they would move to Morocco if they didn't get a co-sponsor, same way she had May calling Azan daddy when he wouldn't speak to her. Her mother is a lot to handle and is parenting the only way she knows how and doesn't see anything wrong, but you know she loves her granddaughter and would do anything for her. When I went NC with my mother it was hurtful for her not to see or talk to my daughter and I think that's one of her fears with Nicole and so she gives in.
Do you not get she gives the money for the granddaughter? Nicole holds the well being of the child hostage to get what she wants for her own selfish childish needs. God forbid we ever find out what Nicole would do to May if her mother didn’t bail her out.
18:56 doc calling Libby a rando is priceless
I just had to google the word Rando because I had know idea what it meant. I learn so much by watching this channel 🤣
Azan is his name when acting on the show. His real name is Hassan.
i wonder why nicoles mom is on the tell all, i havent seen that before with the other contestants
@@hotcupnoodle2281 exactly
Since Hassan is not there,they flew someone to accompany her?
Colt’s mom Debbie has been on the Tell All right? Or did I make up that dramatic scenario in my trash tv loving head?
I agree! I don’t know about what they’ve done before... but it’s not right. Her mother’s behavior makes me sick. She has no place here.
They occasionally bring people outside the couples to the tell-all, provided they are a lightning rod for drama
I would like to say that the host of the tell all’s never pronounced any foreign name correctly which is So frustrating so basing your pronunciation on hers isn’t advised!
I've always heard his name pronounced as 'as-in'. But my name gets mispronounced all the time too and I still at 44 haven't figured out why lol
True. It's frustrating. And it's also a disrespect. And she can't blame it on being Southern. I'm Southern and I can say it right.
Maybe he doesn’t really care how it’s pronounced?
@@brandoniswhoiam, I guess if you pay me enough money a person could pronounce my name any way they would like to pronounce it.
Nicole has the behavior of a child who has done something bad and is at a principal’s office with her mom!
Farida Varfis idk but Colt is in his 30’s and I think his mom was at the tell all.
Farida Varfis only colt and her actually. But in their cases are different background both unhealthy I might add.
I wish this was addressed more. It isn't all Robbalee's fault. Nicole was truly acting like a whiney adolescent on that couch. Time to grow up, manipulative buttercup. In the full Tell All I liked the way Molly shut her down a couple of times, but in a calm way, no yelling or snarking. While I understand it is important to try to understand Nicole's behavioral patterns, I feel this has become an "excuse channel", offering few ways she should be accountable and ways to correct her POOR behavior. Does Dr forget she is a woman, a mother, in her mid 20s? I know she looks 18 but...
bellissima78 with all respect I dont think dr honda makes excuses for Nicole he can understand why she behaves the way that she does. But I think her situation is way more complex because of her family dynamic. Sorry my english not my first language.
@@nmmarquesm I agree it is complex, but Dr Honda seems to heap all of the blame on Robalee and does not address Nicole's own responsability. If that never happens it seems like she can slide through life, into old age, never changing because "that's how she was raised." We can see her family dynamic is problematic, but from the many comments here, it is becoming tiring not hearing "tough talk" regarding Nicole as well. She is not an adolescent, she's (supposedly) an adult.
I don’t like Nicole’s mom and the way she treats Nicole, however Nicole doesn’t have a house to stay for her and Mae and she stays at her mom’s house, she asks her parents for money and in addition to that she leaves Mae to her mom every time she wants to go for a couple of months to visit Azan. The mom is shaming Nicole bc Nicole acts so immature while being 22 years old and also herself a mother. She kinda gives with her immature actions her mom permission to shame her bc she acts so childish and cannot take care of her child
@Hillary V. He knows all of this, he's just weirdly dedicated to explaining away all of Nicole's behavior while pathologizing her family.
I think your view on Nicole is sooo interesting because we are so hard on her. You are really lenient on Nicole. We are fans so we know more about Nicole’s background. In high school she moved across the country and moved in with someone - got pregnant - ended up coming back. So i think the love department gets HARSH treatment since this is her pattern.
I also think you didn’t address her making him quit his job to spend more time talking to her. That is extremely controlling behavior. And when her mother or father ask what he does for work she never says “well he was working in a hotel but i would prefer if he didn’t work” she makes him sound like a bum who has no job.
katj i lack sooooo much sympathy for her it’s crazy. I’m happy KIRK is kinder cuz i would of dropped her a long time ago
I think peopke aren't getting the point though. She does things the way she does as a result of her upbringing. He isn't "lenient" on Nicole. He just understands the "why".
I think he’s trying to be unbiased and look at the situation as a professional. We only know what we are shown on tv so there’s many interpretations that we can come up with.
Nicole is no victim and takes advantage of her family but I doubt she actually made Azan quit. I think she asked for so much of his attention that he figured he would just ask her for money since she's a full-time job. 🤣😂
@@krystalroney THIS!
I’m pretty sure the most accurate way of pronouncing it is like Hassan, so you’re closer
I'm pretty sure that Hassan is actually his real true name 😜
Doesn’t Hasan Minhaj say to pronounce his name like they do? Stressing the first ‘a’ I mean. His family is Indian so there could be a difference there, though.
@@kcmdjdkdn282 in arabic there are 2 names that seem the same if you write them in latin alphabet, there is HAssan and there is hassAAN. I don't know which one his actual name is
@@GHo224 it means horse.
@@m.r.e.5731 nope there are different s in arabic one soft and one thick, this one is soft and it means good. with a thick one and emphasis on the end it means horse.
The more Robbalee attacks Nicole’s relationship with him, the more Nicole feels indebted to him.
In the first 6 minutes, Shawn pronounces Nicole's mom's name two different ways (ROB-a-lee and ROBE-a-lee). Just to emphasize that she's not the pronunciation guide.
His real name is Hassan. So you have been in the right
Hassan is pronounced with the accent on the first syllable
his real name!? wat u mean
I cant believe how often you upload. It's amazing. Loving this series.
I don't know what worse here. First her mother shames her constantly in the regular season, then doubles down in the Tell All. I'd love to see her hold her tongue on the Tell All for the purpose of Nicole speaking for herself. Nicole needs to learn from mistakes on live TV.
But Nicole does not learn ? She has no dignity or shame. She has been embarrassing herself on worldwide tv from the beginning.Her mother just told what Nicole does constantly, having her daughter calling men she dates daddy?
I know-I can't decide which is worse-lol. Overall, I think Nicole is more the problem how she refuses to take responsibility for her own life decisions and forces her parents to intervene, but, I can't help but cringe watching the mom, father, and bratty little brother constantly shame and berate on live tv...
I HAAATE the way the mom whispered "go ahead, ask her" it was so belittling. It set a rage in me
Nicole having her daughter call, what we now know is at least 3 men in her short life daddy, is nothing more than manipulative behavior to make the men feel as though they can’t leave their ‘daughter’ and feel obligated o stay with Nicole. It’s a really abusive and mature attitude to do that. May will see man after man that she bonds with and is taught to feel is her ‘dad’ leave her and her mother and it will effect her in her adult relationships.
Opening myself up to hate but Mae has a father. For whatever reason he isn't in the picture I wonder how come Mae isn't receiving child support, especially with a mother who has no stability.
Having come out of a relationship with a foreign man somewhat similar to this situation, with also a similar dynamic between me and my mom during that time, I believe the mom is just so tired of desperately trying to help Nicole see this relationship is not the best for her, that her comments are not as loving as they could be. Nicole is probably choosing to ignore the red flags because she is still holding onto the fantasy she holds too dearly in her heart and mind, thinking Azan is wonderful when we as outsiders don't see it. In a different relationship of mine that was long-term, one of my best friends didn't like my boyfriend at the time and would make some comments about him that were hurtful to me. After that relationship ended, I realized I was making excuses for his bad, probably abusive, behavior towards me. Getting upset at my friend for those comments was a reflection of myself not wanting to admit I had made poor choices.
Good point, well stated.
Good point, well stated.
The only red flag I see about the relationship is that she's sending him money and their relationship didn't start on that note. Nicole introduced that factor. To me, if either of them were serious about him coming to the US they would both work and save money because he can't work when he gets here. I actually don't think Nicole is anymore serious about Azan than he is about her. They seem equally invested.
In this case, Nicole is the abusive one, all the way downright to physical assault.
If someone was physically pushing me around, I have zero tolerance for violence, so I would avoid tell-all like Azan too; especially since her family is there, I would be afraid too.
Dr Honda carefully avoided to adress that fact directly...
(Nicole being downright physically abusive!)🤦🏼♀️
As a 20something the relationship with my mom (who still calls me her "baby" jokingly but respects me as a fellow adult and isn't invasive with her advice) has changed in such a great way in the last few years. I'm fairly independant and proud of it but I recognize that I've had decent parents guiding me that way and that if people like Nicole seem like they can't get by on their own, their upbringing might have cut their wings. It's so hard to see them both together, like physically painful. If you have a mom like hers I feel so sorry and hope you can find other fulfilling, supporting relationships ❤️
As the mom of an 18yo high school senior, I’m very interested in any insight or advice you might have on navigating this next phase of our relationship.
He’s already extremely independent vs. his classmates (though we still do his laundry, pay all the bills, and buy most of the groceries.) As is natural for his age, he spends way more of his leisure time alone or with friends vs. with us. I’d like to remain relevant in his life over the long term, even assuming we end up living in different states.
What are some things your mom has done to help your relationship grow and mature? Any suggestions for me as the parent of a boy in particular? 💐
Goosebump 801 If I had to point out a few things that makes me love my relationship with my mom, I'd say : when I lived at her place and I was visibly upset, she didn't assume but asked me what type of support I wanted (if I wanted to talk about it or just wanted to be alone in my bed and have her cook a comforting dinner for example). Even though I was entirely dependent on her, she seemed to take for granted that I deserved privacy and space ; I'm more introverted so I appreciated that a lot. We don't have a lot of hobbies in common but she often asked for my opinion for stuff around the house (groceries or changes in home decor for example), and asked if I wanted to accompany her going shopping but never complained if I didn't feel like it. Sure as a teenager/younger adult I was more into seeing my friends or being on my own, but the fact she accepted that (as you do as well) really made me feel respected instead of controled and that made it so I never was resentful towards her. Now that I moved out, I see her or talk over the phone at least once a week : we help each other out with little things when we can and talk a lot about our projects and what's going on with the family. I think it's normal to be a bit distanced when your son is kinda "exploring" independance but as long as there's not too much pressure on him to spend time with you or talk about his life (which from what you say doesn't seem to be the case anyway !) I'm sure he'll trust you a lot more and be more open in the near future ❤️
Marie K. Thanks so much for your reassuring reply! 😊❤️
I love when Dr. Honda reminisces about our communal time together watching reality TV ❤
Dr Kirk, you certainly do model how to speculate in a respectful and intelligent way. Thanks for pointing out that this is part of what you are trying to teach in these videos. In a world of shouty, simplistic certainties it is so refreshing to see your nuanced approach, always seeking more data before drawing conclusions.
In my opinion the grandma would be more than happy if Nicole was independent what a huge relief that would be for her i am sure, however, as little Mays grandma she has real concern. I sincerely respect the professionalism of others but there are times when people know through experience and wisdom in my opinion.
Spoiler Alert:
This no-show at the Tell-All is pretty much never mentioned and the next season is mostly about her filing and getting results for Azan's visa.
I had a friend watch the show with me who speaks Arabic and she said the people speaking to him in Morocco were calling him Hasan. Not Azan 🤦🏾♀️
Moroccan here. Right. It's an S, like in "soft".
I'm from the Balkans and the name Hasan exists in Bosnia. They have not been pronouncing his name correctly on the show, but that happens a lot with foreign names on this show it seems 😬
You’re pronouncing it right for some reason Nicole can’t be bothered to pronounce his name correctly.
oh gosh I feel I am such a bad person, I am so with Nicole's mom. if nicole is my girl I might have done the same thing, or just slightly less than her
She's so beautiful, empathetic and loving, I don't get where Nicole comes from.
They might have exchanged her true baby for Nicole back at the hospital.
His real name is Hassan M'Raouni. TV name is Azan Tefou.
Wow really? Is that to hide his business or protect his family? Some of his family were on the show so maybe they’re in on it?
@@pressed4time I'm not really sure but if you go to the very 1st episode he introduced himself with his real name.
@@pressed4time in the middle east we usually use our grandfathers first name as our last name but when moving to America or telling Americans, we may use our grandfather’s name and make that our forever last name OR we use the “family name” which is showing the family lineage but it’s more obscure.
I get the points you make about her mom, but Dr.Honda seems to have a real soft spot for Nicole. I wonder why?
Ashara Crow I agree. He rarely places any responsibilities for HER actions at her door. It’s amazing to me. I’m not under any illusion and I’m not buying into it completely, I have to say (my choice)
Agreed. He's never, ever critical of her. Even though there is A LOT that he could be critical about. I understand that Nicole's mom's communication and actions aren't perfect, but her mom is more mature and often behaves better than Nicole to be frank. So I don't get why he's so hung up on defending Nicole and all her short comings, while crucifying the mom...
@@inesolujic2534 I think because he forgets she is well into adulthood, since she looks like an overgrown toddler. Also, her abuse gets brushed over which is starting to make me side eye these videos. Even here....when they show the clips of Nicole shoving and manhandling Azan, her mom is upset FOR Nicole....and the Dr agrees with her? How about "Mom/grandma once again puts no blame on Nicole and deflects it onto Azan for 'upsetting her."
I can't speak for Dr Honda but I personally align with Nicole because my Mom is very similar. My Mom has tried to run my life and tell me what I'm going to do and refusing to let me make a decision for myself. Seeing Robbielee is a huge trigger for me because she so overbearing and refuses to listen to Nicole. Now there are big differences between Nicole and I, I'm married with no children, starting a legal career and my Mom hasn't given me anything since I was 23 (29 now). With that being said, I want to scream at Robbielee the same thing I screamed at my Mom. Nicole is a full grown adult despite how she acts. She's capable and has made her own decisions, Robbielee has made it clear that she disagrees with Nicole's decisions. Great! Now back off! I get that there's a child involved but it's not Robbielee's child. If she's so worried about May then get custody or temporary guardianship. If Nicole really did spend quarantine out of the country it's not gonna be hard to get custody. But the constant rude and passive aggressive comments tick me off! I see all of Nicole's issues and the issues in her relationship with Azan but for me Robbielee is overbearing and is doing nothing to help the situation. If Robbielee wants Nicole to grow up stop giving her stuff! After I heard no for the first time, I stopped asking for stuff because I had to get it on my own. Even though my Mom would still give me stuff I never asked for it. Last year I ended up screaming at my Mom because she was doing the same stuff Robbielee is doing, like telling me what I was gonna do, making passive aggressive comments calling me out in front of family members and the list goes on. I ended up telling her I'm not a child and she has to treat me like an adult. She tried to guilt trip me by holding what she does over my head, like Robbielee does Nicole. But unlike Nicole my Mom didn't give me money or anything of value so she couldn't manipulate me to get what she wanted. I know that's long but that's why I align with Nicole. Robbielee just triggers my personal relationship with my Mom.
@@mrsa6925 because she's a product of her family and the doctor can see that its not entirely her fault the way she is. She cant help it unless she gets therapy.
Dr Honda, not only did Azan not turn up for the 'tell all' he actually ghosted her and ignored all her calls, texts, emails for 3 days before the 'tell all' too. He suddenly turns up again as soon as they finish filming the 'tell all'.
"These other Randos"....hahahhahhahahah
I lived with my sister and nephew for 9 years. I heard her constantly tell her son that every guy she brought home was "Daddy". Now he's 11 and has no respect for the word because of it. Is it Nicole's choice? Absolutely. But the mom sees the impact this pattern will have later on. I don't like Nicole's mom for the most part, but I do agree with this one. Nicole may make the decision but it'll be May that suffers from it - and it _will_ be damaging.
I think Nicole’s mom was desperate and seeking support, since she likely couldn’t reason with Nicole, she’s appealing to a greater audience who will agree with her.
She wasn't appealing to them...she was trying to shame her daughter in order to get her way. The dynamic between both of them is just so wrong lol Both of them play a part, but the mom set a horrible standard.
@@snoopsie Exactly!
Did the show stylist do that to red-top-woman's hair, or did she do it herself?! I am mortified on her behalf
Thats libby. She this season ran around Moldova with bun right on the tippy top of her head. Emphasizing her full cheeks. Wasn't a good choice. When her hair is down straight , she is gorgeous.
Im pretty sure they do their own makeup! In one of the before the 90 days they showed them getting ready themselves
@@madelinefrazier5357 yes her sister did her Moldovan wedding makeup completely with contouring etc. I'd never know where to begin!
All those crispy crinkles instead of curls? Yep. Lol
I have to admit, I started out like, "I cannot STAND Nicole." Now, watching this series, I'm starting to see the nuances and feel a lot more empathy for her. Thanks, Dr. Kirk! I find this series so calming and helpful.
Hey Dr! Will you be doing any reactions on Colt? Great videos!
Colt and Debbie are the worst couple on the show!
Tiffany Prater lol they have a very interesting relationship
I'd love to see him react to Colt and Debbie!
Liv Miles I just want to see him react to Coltee feeding his cats by his mouth.
@@Ariarosesmommy Oh sweet Jesus XD
I love Dr. Kirk and truly enjoy and respect his content. HOWEVER, it makes my skin crawl when he sticks up for Nicole EVERY TIME. Is her mom a piece of work? Yes, 100%. Does her brother demean her? Totally. It’s not a great situation she’s in, BUT SHE’S AN ABUSER. If she was a man, he wouldn’t be so quick to defend her. Also, Azan doesn’t have money because Nicole INSISTED he leave his job so he can talk to her whenever SHE wants to talk to him. I can’t be the only one who remembers that conversation.
I agree. Where is her responsibility? You cannot blame Mom forever for her behavior. She is 25 years old!
I worried about this too...the fact she pushed him to quit his job because she would get upset he can't text her. She can't get his texts at work either, but she won't understand if the role is reversed. It seems like a way for her to control, isolate and manipulate him. If a male abuser wants to control his partner, its the same pattern. He controls the money, outside contact, and conversation. I worry for Azan. :( In Dr. Honda's defense though, he has stated he isn't necessarily pulling for these two as a couple.
True but she didn’t make herself that way. Her mother did
He clearly has a soft spot for her and Darcey. All the excuses in the book for these manipulators.
@@GabriellaLascano what about her father?
You have been pronoucing it correctly. Nicole recently changed her spelling of his name from Azan to Hazan...
Like Chinese knock off brand of azan.
@katj my theory is that he never corrected her so she couldnt properly file his paperwork for a visa.
Wrong.
S Fooshy the show runners actually changed his name to azan. in the first episode where he introduces himself he says his name is hassan. the show runners probably wanted to americanize his name so they said his name was azan even though from the beginning he gave his correct name.
I disagree with the assessment of Nicole's mom shaming her. Her mom is merely bringing up irresponsible and pathetic facts- Nicole is broke but sends money to Azan and May shouldn't be calling every dude 'dad'.
Nicole pay you or something?
Also, humans 'lie' down. Objects 'lay'. I remember it this way--> humans lie so they don't lay down, they lie down. Hope that helps!
His real name is Hassan with a sharp s like sun and emphasis on the first syllable! :) But (I think) TLC changed it for some weird reason?
Maybe to make it sound like the آذان rather than حسن?
@@mayamorabito1669 yeah... But I still wonder what happened in the translation or... Just why? His mom called him حسن. That I am pretty sure of. So I would say since she gave (or at least was involved in giving) him his name... Imma call him like his mom calls him 🤣
I really cant stand Nicole's mom. She reminds me so much of my relationship with my mom... and it hurts so much.
I don't think Dr. Honda is downplaying what Nicole did. In previous videos, he called it abuse, and, commented in the comment section (loose paraphrase) that he agreed if it were Azan being abusive, Azan would have gotten worse treatment from society.
In this episode, he focused on the grandmother's reaction to the conflict.
Some people are content with a simplistic label, but, many of us are interested in the motivations behind abuse. Well trained clinicians see a rather slow motion of thoughts, processes, and behaviors to better serve the clients and society at large.
"OH GOOD NICOLE IS STANDING UP FOR HERSELF! YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY LOVE HER AND STILL THINK SHE'S DONE WRONG!"
Your dedication to always being wrong is maddening. I'm genuinely at a loss as to how someone can arrive at your conclusions.
I have to take a moment to thank you, I truly appreciate your courage to do this, i understand that you probably get positive feedback and personal gain from this channel, I also know you took personal risk and overcame fear and doubt to help us and the world. This channel is not the biggest on RUclips but I pray that we that are watching share this with everyone we know. Its a blessing that we get a man with this knowledge that took time and money to achieve is sharing with people who need it. He is not just a therapist, He is a good therapist and able to articulate it to the people in a entertaining way. God bless. Please share.
Nicole has wasted so much time on Azan he never going to marry her
Jude Fenwick woah woah woah no body shaming here tyvm, if you had been listening to this series you would know that both of them have their own issues and I personally don’t believe that one of them is better than the other because they both have their own deep rooted issues that they need to work on.
Dating the wrong person is never a waste of time, its a growing and learning experience.
@@sarajane5306 Yes, this.
@@sarajane5306 Not for Nicole it isn't. It has been 4 years and she neglects her daughter because she is still obsessed with Azan and her attention from social media, based on her time on the show. Sorry I think something is really wrong with her. She is beyond manipulative and selfish. I don't care about the family dynamics. She abandoned her daughter during a pandemic for nearly 6 months!
I took this episode so close to the heart. My mom does this to me all the time, that’s why I’m even now having a hard time separating and doing my best own thing as a mom as a person.
If it's not an English (name) all the vowels will sounds the same. Dr. Honda I've been so happy throughout this series to hear you pronounce it in.....an international (and more than likely) correct way ❤️ but we also love your effort to possibly correct yourself. Signed, a person who's name is rarely pronounced correctly.
Your name looks so interesting, where is it from and how do you pronounce it correctly if i may ask? By instinct i would pronounce it either like nAsirA or nasEEra :)
@@user-nw7up6hc7y It's an Arabic name thought I myself am not Arabic. Original pronunciation is "Nah-zira", I enjoy when I run into ppl who say it like this. Spanish and Italian speakers say it similarly. But within the US English I encourage and accept "Nuh-sear-rah" as I got burnt out on a childhood of "Oh, so it's nuh-sarah!"
Please continue following Nicole and Azan! There's more to react to, and I would love to hear your take on all of it.
Counter-transference: so do you have to separate your own feelings, thoughts, and opinions, from how you'd assist as a therapist? 🤔
So what's the difference between put down and control vs criticism?
"Putting someone down" doesn't even intend to be helpful in my opinion, only make them feel bad or guilty, while criticism can be clumsy and unhelpful but usually intends to improve things. But that's just how I interpret it !
@katj I agree. Dr Honda isn't really looking at this as a mom who is sick of nicoles crap and has seen this time and time again and she's beyond frustrated but still pretty much keeping her cool. He's looking at it like poor nicole look at this controlling mom who keeps putting her down lol. Come on Dr honda! If we all see it you should too lol😂
Doing it publicly like that doesn't help her case imo
@@Dauerglotzer123
Well.. she shouldn't be on international television then.. imo
To this doc...None....Just shut up and let her do her thing and make her mistakes because she's grown...If my mom saw me running into a brick wall and held her tongue because she didn't want to come off controlling I would think she didn't care about me.
Nicoles mom reminds me of my dad- exept he didnt do it to ease anxiety, he enjoyed the power trip
Dr Kirk: Really enjoyed watching the Nicole & Azan reactions. More to come in the next season :) Molly & Luis would be a great couple to react to, as would Andrei & Elizabeth.
Totally to both couples! But especially Libby and Andrei since they’re still filming and Molly/Luis aren’t together anymore.
“It’s my money” 😂😂 it’s the tax payers where you get your benefits from and some of the shows and sometimes your hardworking mom’s money. I don’t feel bad for her shaming her she’s probably tired of raising her she still acts like a child.
I know right? Mom pays all her Bill's and gor her May. But anything I make is spending money...mine. so I can send it to Azan and Mom just gives me more.
Except this woman is not raising an adult, she is raising an adult-baby. That's the whole point of the entire series on Nicole. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
I just really hope my daughters don’t become anywhere near like Nicole
Hmm, don’t rlly agree with the whole “calling multiple strangers dad doesn’t effect a child long term” nor the constant excuses for Nicole
I don’t think it matters how this guy’s name is pronounced. Let’s not miss the point that Nicole was not important enough for him to show up and be there for her. But knowing how desperate she is, she will of course put up with anything he does to her.
Leslie Lucero So true. So embarrassing. Smh. She’s absolutely the type of person who can’t live without a man. I hope she gets the therapy she needs.
I was under the impression that his name was actually Hassan, and they changed it to Azan on the show to make the "American audience" more comfortable.. which is probably why his family is saying Ah-zahn rather then Az-en. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong. There's a shot in one of the episodes with a picture of Nicole and Azan in a picture frame, but the name written on the frame is Hassan.
I actually heard that Azan real name is actually Hassan. Which would explain the family's pronuctuation of his name. I heard they had to change his name for the show for some weird reason 🤔 idk I may be totally wrong about it
This mother/daughter dynamic makes me sad :(
My mom tried to do this to me and i cut her off finally at 35 yrs old. Feels good.
The way you think you can read Nicole's mind, and her thoughts are always apparently in direct opposition to what she says and does, has reached delusional levels.
He literally skipped the clip of her being physically abusive, assaulting Hassan..🤦🏼♀️
"These other randos..." lol yes 💯
I'm DISGUSTED by her mother's behaviour. Just as you pointed out, it seems like all she wants to do is shame Nicole. Can the mother just let Nicole speak for a minute without interrupting or expressing in some way that what she is saying/doing is wrong. oh my god
Dr.Honda could you please speculate about the current situation with Nicole going to Morocco w/o Mae in March(she ignored all of the covid warnings)! Then promptly got stuck with excuse after I'm not judging after excuse why she is still in Morocco. Mae is with Grandma and I honestly want your thoughts on the long term effects this could had on Mae. Especially knowing it's all documented and this kid will see she chose leave her during a pandemic. Please I'm not shaming I just need to know your take on the matter.
I'm sooo insterested in your reaction to Colt and Larissa. I feel like you'd be entertained by this couple just like me and the others who are also recommending them :)
YESSSSS!!!!
Absolutely Colt, Debbie, Larissa, Jess and Ericee 😀
Nicole owes it to TLC to answer questions; her mom makes sure that questions get answered.
I’m just here to support this channel.
I just discovered your channel and have been binge watching all day.
Love your videos! Blessings!😄🤗
Please start on Colt and mom Debbie!
His name is actually Hassan M'Raouni. There was an art piece on Nicole’s dresser that said Hassan and Nicole and that was the name on his “visa” paperwork the show forgot to blur his real name. People pronounce Azan all different ways, especially Joe (Nicole’s stepfather) who pronounces it as Asson!
I love your take on things but i must disagree with you on this one. I did not think it is okay that a woman encourages her child to call one man after another daddy. IT DOES HAVE A LONG TERM AFFECT ON THE CHILD! It also sends a message that a daddy is temporary and not long term or reliable. Daddy ,like Mommy is a name that is earned not given to an almost stranger before he ever meets a child.
Sorry Doc...you are way wrong about this one.
Agree...very disappointed. They are not just 'titles' like Mr or Mrs. Mom and Dad are roles and roles kids learn about at school as well. "Why do I have 3 daddies who bounced?" is not going to be a good feeling.
Well bc it’s not a word in a vacuum. They’ll go to school and realize what daddy means yo other people. And start to learn what a daddy is. What a daddy does. And if they do or don’t have a daddy.
I think the dr specifically mentioned it wouldn’t affect the child who was 1 at the time, so I don’t think his comment was associated with her she. Or that’s how i took it.
“These other randos” - Dr. Honda to the entire rest of cast. Love it!
If Azan is named after "Azan" which is the name of the islamic prayer call (which is very likely since he is from a muslim family from what i remember) then you were pronounciating it right as Azaaaaan. That is how it's pronounced in arabic as well (arabic speaker over here). But if he is named after something else then dunno lol.
His name is not that his name is either HAssan or hassaan, I didn't catch how his family called him but nicole called him the former
Thank you! Nicole has never said his name correctly.
@@GHo224 hassan would not be pronounced with a Z-sound, like zebra. Also it is pronounced with a hard H-sound in the beginning and the pronounciation ryhmes with the american pronounciation av "lesson" hhehe
@@black91ize i know that i am arab 😉 Nicole during the fight called him almost correctly too the H is always difficult for non arab speakers. I rechecked how his aunt called him it is HAssan as in حسن
Wrong. His name is حسن.(Hassan)
آذان )call for the prayer)
Is not a person name. I am a 30 year old Moroccan, and an Arab. And never have I ever seen Azhan as a name.
Why do people spread false data?
I am literally living this situation. I have known my grandmother my whole life as my mother and she is now stage four and 72 and I have my almost 8 month old . It’s interesting to see you react to this one
The mom is probably resentful having to take care of Nicole that it comes out by shaming Nicole. It’s not a good way to deal with it but again, maybe Dr. Honda is way too nice to Nicole.
But, what's wrong with that? His trying to understand Nichole. His whole career and profession is to analyze and help people through their problem. I've realized that he also uses attachment theory to develop his analysis of a person and too completely understand that theory and apply it is more difficult said than done. So, I can see how it can come across as being too kind. I think once someone really starts to understand and learn about psychology, you end up developing a perspective of sympathy towards a lot of people. Can you imagine being viewed by millions of people and your mother is airings out embarrassing details of your relationship? She was intentionally doing it as well. Really try and put yourself in that situation. I bet a lot of people would freeze up and act the way she did.
He is always too nice when it comes to Nicole. He always takes her side. We have no idea what she has fully put her mom through so that’s probably why her mom is the way she is. If her mom saw her financially taking care of herself and her daughter, her attitude would change.
Waaayyy too Nice...and the mom may be resentful but stating facts isn't shaming...
@@katyesp He's not trying to understand Nicole..he just repeats the same three phrases, every video he does on them...that some how impresses you guys....he just makes Nicole's mom look horrible for just trying to help...and Blames all Nicole's problems on her mom...Not sure what world this Doc lives in but not ever taking accountability for your actions is a quick road to failing at life.
@@pvdm4684 Once again its a reality TV show...where to objective of the show, is to show to reality of ones life...unless your saying Nicole's is too stupid to realize what she was getting herself into....Facts are Facts...if the facts are embarrassing but Nicole is the one who actually did the action...why aren't we talking about that....Nicole did the action...the mom simplly said words...but this is how the Doc and all he's stans likes to treat Nicole..Nicole does wrong thing../.time to deflect and put it back on the mom...
Thanks for uploading all these insightful thoughts and what comes out of your face ! 😁🙌
Helps me seeing things from a different perspective.
Also did you consider to add Andre and Elizabeth to your portfolio of 90 day fiance couples you watch ?
Fwiw Azan's real name is Hassan and as far as I can tell he doesn't really care how people pronounce his fake name for the show. Even Nicole has pronounced it in different ways.
In Arabic cultures, sometimes the son is called by the fathers or grandfather's name. Since they are all living in the same household, they might call him Azan in order to avoid confusion.
Nikki H thanks! This answered a question I was about to ask about why he’d have a TV name or maybe it was a nickname.
I was the scapegoat in my family too (except my siblings never talked to me like that) my mom acts just like Nicole's mom. But at least I actually got away from her and grew up. Nicole is financially dependent on her parents, her parents do her decision making as well, and that does hinder her from progressing mentally and emotionally.
How did Nicole's mom says a horrible thing...Nicole dated a guy and had May call him dad...She stated a fact...what definition of horrible does this Doc have.
Azaan is correct
I'm weirded out by how Nicole mispronounces it