if you attract Narcissists, Energy Vampires or Manipulators WATCH THIS
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- Опубликовано: 25 апр 2024
- Why is it that you attract people who manipulate, people who are narcissists and energy vampires? Why is it that you feel that you must be loyal or try to fix some of these people subconsciously? Let me show you how to break the pattern. Join the High Vibe Tribe: aarondoughty.com/highvibetribe
Follow me on Instagram here: / aarondoughty44 
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Hey! have you joined the High Vibe Tribe yet? its my new free community! I go live and do free workshops and meditations in there, join here! aarondoughty.com/highvibetribe
Awesome!!!! I love you bro. Your ability to grow is inspirational
Truths! Seeing patterns
Tolerating is the wrong word they had no choice. They were raised with a narcissistic parent or toxicity so it’s become a norm for them and they don’t know anything different unless they figure that out as they get older and start working through it with lots of self work and therapy.!!! it’s not something they tolerate horrible word to use!! even in a relationship it’s not that they want to tolerate it. They become accustomed to it big difference.
they never ever give me back what I want. 😂 it's crazy I keep allowing this at all
Yaaay I joined, thanks for this resource!
What blows my mind is how many of us are going through the same things with these demonic creatures and none of us can meet each other and become close and learn from one another we have to do it via the Internet. 🤯
Same here. It sucks. Been alone for 8 yrs. And even end up dealing with vampires at work too. I'm so over it. Me too....
@@daniellemorphew3515 Yes, constant spiritual warfare with smear campaigns, triangulation, gaslighting everyday. This may seem extreme but it doesn't matter who I'm in contact with if they're not the narcissist they're flying monkeys . We'll tell you one thing and turn around and do another. And smile.
@@daniellemorphew3515Exactly! And, work can be one of the worst places because we spend so much of of time & life there dealing with toxic employees! I've wanted to quit my job so many times because of the toxic, lazy-ass people they hire! Those same people never last long and quit so, sometimes it can work in your favor 🤷♀️
This!!!!
Excellent comment.
Never let your inner child run after seeking validation from others... and on top of that never allow Narcissists to corrupt your PURE EMPATH SOUL ...Hug yourself tight when the world seems to be falling apart,when you feel like you are unworthy.. Embrace the imperfections,roll on❤Life is worth living for !!!😊..Stay Gold!!🙌💜
Edit:-Cheers to the Empath community.. Thank you for so many likes 🙏🥰
I like your comment it's very positive.
You don't just forgive and forget prolonged emotional rape. If you do you are a robot.
Thank u 💓💯
Good affirmations Murph!
@All.about.Narcissism7 Holding on to the pain poisons yourself in the long run.
Maybe 'forgive and forget' isn't the best approach in cases of extreme emotional abuse, but it is critical to heal from the poison you endured so that your future isn't poisoned by it as well.
I've been working on healing such damage for nearly three decades now, and some of those wounds might not ever fully heal and will probably always be vulnerable to getting ripped back open, but overall, I am starting to understand that my story is not who I am. The more I heal, the easier it is to find my tribe, which also makes it easier to heal.
The key was reprogramming my inner dialogue and understanding what abandoning myself looks like. I never learned how to love myself as I grew up with extreme emotional abuse and then married into more. I didn't even know where to begin because I honestly didnt know what love looked like. I had to learn what love is by learning how to be my own best friend. In doing that, I discovered that letting go of that story was key to my living a new one.
With that said, take as much time as you need to process what happened to you. You have every right to be angry; you didnt deserve what happened to you. Many warm wishes to you that you find the strength and courage to accept the pain you feel and learn how to heal it. I know you have it in you because you are still here after living through hell. Which means you are stronger, braver, and more courageous than most. Cheers to you!
I always wondered why I had to deal with these individuals my whole life!!!. The sad thing is,,, you're not LOOKING for them. They find you!!!! 😳
Wrong. You are subconsciously looking for them.
@@StandStillRushingwrong. I keep in my own lane & they seek me out. These are spiritual trials to hone our skills on identifying them,, and shutting them down effectively.
@@evilbarbie2160 You are in denial. You need to do the healing, and then you will stop subconsciously looking for them. Trust me, no one cares about you or is seeking you out.
@@StandStillRushing they walk up to me, and introduce themselves even when there's been NO eye contact in a public place that picking ppl up is weird stores etc... it is not me being in denial, im not looking to make friends or enemies with anyone. But thanks for trying to be my therapist or guru! Lol!
@@evilbarbie2160 Because you give yourself away to them. They know you’re an easy target. You do this subconsciously. Just accept it and try to heal.
I only started “attracting” narcs very late in my life. Before that people were wonderful in my life literally everyone. It began when I moved to an unhealthy environment. Sometimes it is NOT you.
Thank you. I forgot the obvious. Wrong environment been living in. Tree swinger trying to make it with cave dwellers. 😂
Same here...
Likewise. Or I may have been so asleep/ unwise that didn't recognize. Stay strong everyone. Universe is leading us to finish line. Keep pushing.
YES
This!!!💛
I live on my own with my animals because I'm scared to let people into my life. I attract these people. I divorced one and cut the other loose. The ex made me physically sick. I played my part, and I recognised the childhood trauma I was subconsciously suffering from.
I can relate. Living alone with my animals too. As a natural extrovert even. Forced into social seclusion out of self preservation. Society I live in is like a fekkin narcissist incubation chamber. There are networks of narcissists everywhere feeding on confused and hypnotized empaths as lifeforce livestock.
I feel you❤
Animals are natural healers. ❤ hope your heart heals completely
I’m right there with you and animals don’t hurt you like people.
Forgive yourself for not knowing,,you didn't know,, let go and just give it all to God🎉🎉🎉❤❤❤❤
Children raised in shame and pain are debilitated- handicapped for life
It’s not something we chose - it’s something we learn
It’s ABUSE
Truth!
Amen 🙏
Being an empath, raised by a grandiose narcissist,diagnosed ADHD, I’ve been an absolute MAGNET for narcs all my life. I’m beyond tired of it. I don’t know who I am or what I even have left to give, anymore.
The ACA program helps a lot.
I hear ya
@@sabbath7081what’s that
We become too many things to to many people. And now my identity is all but gone too.
I hear ya. I am diagnosed auDHD and grew up w 2 narc parents. I've been a magnet for them too, but only after I started giving myself the love, time, and energy thas was getting wasted by a revolving door of narcissists in my lofe was I able to change that dynamic.
I spot them a mile away now. And run as fast as I can! I have ZERO time, energy, or f*cks given for emotionally unviable people.
But I can confirm that it will take a lot of healing, learning how to set healthy boundaries for yourself, and a good support system to get to a healthier place.
You can do this! You survived abuse of the worst kind, which means you are a survivor. Time to re-claim your story and make it your own! 💛
Sometimes you don’t know someone is a a narcissist until you’re married or in some
Form of relationship which you can’t easily walk
Away from.
If you want to check whether you can have a healthy relationship with a given person, enter into conflict with him.
@@mothernature88888 how is conflict supposed to look like when it's healthy?
Yes. So true. They take a while to reveal the true self, so I’ve become super keen on red flags.
Them mirror their behavior, treat them how they treat you
Its scary, but true. I noticed my most scary ex took it literally and mimicked even my mannerisms and what I did while we were out. I thought nothing of it....until now, terrifying. Keep posting this kind of comments, you have no idea whom these incredibly helpful bits of info are going to end up helpibg to!!! I found your comment@@zimkazenstv6379and the OP's one about conflict most helpful...that was my experience and it was right. An argument during the honeymoon phase is what showed that scary ex's true self. Long story short, he turned out to be a very violent person.
Until you give yourself the love you didn’t get that you still need, you’re going to need external validation from people who can’t give it to you or who give you just enough to keep you around and use you in some way.
That’s very true!
Love yourself, because I sure do love you
Great comment 👍
Yes I was a mess and only focused on the good in people. After a bunch of narcissists, I’m looking at everyone with suspicion. Not going to be fucked over ever again . If I sense anything that reeks of narcissism I walk away. They are everywhere. Yes even at the 7-11 counter.
For real tho… I felt that
I was the same way always seeing the good in people but not anymore. People need to earn my trust because these evil narcs are literally everywhere in real life and online and they stalk people like us and want to use and abuse us til they break us. Completely heartless and evil monsters! I’m still trying to learn the signs so I can quickly spot them and get as far away as I can!
They will also try to earn youre trust in ways you cant imagine
Look at how strong those lessons have made you. Be proud! I sure am proud of you
After 2 narcissist marriages, 2 narist sisters, and a couple of narcissist friends, I put up boundaries, and walked, deleted, and never looked back. Im done of demonic naristist! I healed myself , and first sign of it, zip your gone! I only need validation from myself! 😊 Its spirtual warfare, and Satan is using his minions to break you. Keep up the good fight, soldier's of God. 😊
Mhmm
🎆 ~ sharonbice ~ 🗽💯🗽
*My kindred spirit* !!! :)
Except, "my" many Narcz FLIPPED-OUT when I left - stalked & threatened to kill my dog, me, & themselves.
Got tired of discreetly moving far away only to be hunted-down & found - & then having to move, again ... ad nauseum. "My" Narcz were E-VON _more exhausting_ - & dangerous - after I left 'em! 🦋
Stopped dating.👊👍
I'm happy being GOD'S WARRIOR.
Sprinkling ✝️ Blessings ~ 💖
@@UntameableRunaway My first marriage was like that also, he wouldn't leave me alone, no matter how many shelters I went to, he found me. I feared him so much, just pure evil.
Damn Sharon, you a brave soul! Been thru the fire. Don't smell like smoke tho. I like that. Won't he do it? God is so gracious. So good to us. And I know he been good to you. I'm happy for you. Cuz, that's what I'm doing now. Found out people been putting roots on me since birth. Sick mother lovers. More like mother haters. I'm such a corn ball lol. Yeah, but I'm on my healing journey as well. Doing stuff I like to do. Doing stuff 4 me 4 once in my life cuz you only get 1 life to live. Doing it right this time around. I say it now like I said B4, NO NARKY'S ALLOWED. Period. That's the Word. And I'm sticking to it like Gorilla glue. Happy 4 you! We're the Nark slayers, yeah!
People who attract narcissists are narcissistic themselves. You attract what you are❤❤
I'm done with this kind of people. I want to break the curse and attract fulfilling and healthy people 🎉
I think we are like airport runway landing lights at night to them.....when we look for approval and validation. I believe i dont validate myself and these types love to go after a vulnerable person like that. So the answer i think is to love yourself first and dont look for it from others, dont need it so desperately like i do right now. I'm workin on it
Stay strong and connected with your own heart. I love your comment here! You're going the right way.
Yes!
I stopped dating 5 years ago because i attract narcissistic types and I eventually call them out and rebel against them resulting in another failure:(
I totally get you on that!!! I'm terrified of another failure. I have been surrounded by narcissists for years. I just quit my job of 12 years 3 weeks ago getting away from my narcissist boss. We will be successful !!! I'm sending you love and light from Texas❤❤
Look at the bright side. At least you didn't become a "slave" to those narcissists. Yeah, it sucks yo have a failed relationship. But it aucks way more to be stuck with a narcissist
I do that with men and friends so I barely talk to anyone. Then my sister is a narcissist too
Yep yep yep same here...around 4 yrs ago 😢
Same here ❤❤❤
And Codependency is the energy that keeps the cycle in circulation!
Thank God for books called...
Codependency No More
Boundaries and
Safe People!!!
Do you have any links to these books?
Great books- thank you recommending them, more people should read those! Al-anon also has some useful insights, as codependency is a common relationship form when you are in a relationship with an addict.
also for we nurses, other do relate too...'I'm Drying to take care of you," I also never wanted amy one to feel the way I did. Yes, good one!
trauma bond
The key us, Thank God that He gave us the Bible, His Word, that guides us and is a lamp unto our feet and a light unto our path. ( Psalm 119:105). God is love. (1 John 4:8). God loves us sooooo much that He gave His only Son, so that whomever would believe in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16
Protect your energy especially if your sensitive to energies narcissism is on the rise and they are biggest gas lighters and, manipulation in their forte I’ve cut on so many people who have narcissistic personality tendencies 🙅🏿♂️
@@eriomnyc6073 we all possess some narcissism some.... not many are 100% free of being selfish to a degree. But yes agree people who weren't obvious narcs are becoming hard core unable to be truthful with even themselves
I like how Aaron holds everyone responsible for their actions
I attract users. My experiences in the past have me being a loner in life now. I don't trust and feel content alone. I expect it is my demeanor. Quiet. Too nice. They mistake me for a sucker which I am not. Being alone you can nurture yourself and build yourself up.
Yes, it just doesn't work with other people.
On point. 🙏🌻
Not if you're an extrovert. I just get depressed being alone.
I’d be your friend. Hope your happy alone, I could use some company here
I would be your friend.I need some.I have my faith in Jesus Christ,my plants,some cats I take care of.I have one friend but she doesn't understand I need more encouragement from her I try to encourage her.She mostly complains about alot of stuff.
100% truth!! You knew a Narcissist's fake persona, not a real person. It was never a real relationship. You can't ''get something back'' that you never had. Learn the lesson and apply boundaries or take the chance of many more Narcissists in your life.
I believe this is the hardest part, loving someone who never existed and wanting them to come back. What if the person they showed up as was ourselves and is why we fell in love with them. By chasing them we are running from ourselves. I am struggling with knowing I fell in love with someone that no longer exists. We definitely do not exist in the capacity we once did. They stole our persona.
I believe the persona we fell in love with was ourselves. That person no longer exists bc of the abuse. We are actually trying to get back the person we once were before the abuse. They are empty and can only mirror. We gave them the ammo to destroy us. We are trying to get back to ourselves. This is just my perspective. The only way we will heal is by giving ourselves the love we deserve and not expect for people to behave as we do. A normal person cannot understand what life as an empath feels like. A narc counts on us to show up with our over sharing so they know our limits on how much abuse we will take, sadly
It's so hard to not believe that fake person just needs help from demons. And that that person actually loves those demons and has accepted them as their own 😢
This is the truth. You have to learn you patterns to break free from the cycle.
This was really profound for me. Especially the latter comments when you said being nice is transactional... being accepted is feeling safe. You really hit the nail on the head. I've never heard it like that before.
I remember my mum telling me as a child, 'you know it's OK to say no to people?' The thought was alien to me, I was so scared of not being accepted.
I'm learning how to keep the manipulators at arms length... however I'm not reflecting on my own actions that attract them in the first place.
ETA, your comments on being terrified once you had freedom... you see this with animals that have been confined and only know confinement. You open the door to set them free and they want to stay in the place they know. It takes time, but eventually they set themselves free.
Four years ago, I thought that a narcissist with somebody who suck with dead bodies and today I know more about them than I would ever have wanted to know! My husband left me homeless after 24 years with three broken bones and now I just realized that my mom is the worst kind of narcissist and yet everything you say dead on!!! i’ve always remembered people for the best parts of them and now you could potentially cost me pretty much everything! thank you so much for your videos. I’m learning so much.!
I understand you! When l got sick due to narcissistic abuse my ex said he didn’t sign up for that , even bought a wheelchair when l didn’t need it , to mock me only. I filled for divorce and he said he will not stop until he puts me on the streets , and he did .
Narcs are devils in disguise and ure lucky to be alive
Never answer phone calls
And texts. Change ur number if u have to.
Its difficult, my neighbour seems to have "adopted" me.. She is not a dreadful person, but will visit uninvited very frequently, talk for hours, on a repeat loop I have sympathised with endlessly about her dreadful childhood, how she has a special spiritual aura etc etc.. Never asks how I am doing, drinks gallons of coffee and would stop for dinner, supper and breakfast unless I racked my brain for an excuse so she will leave.. I cannot even pass a window without her knocking on the glass!! She called the other day to inform me that she had not been in my house for years!! Totally untrue & it kinda implied I am a free Butlins.. Going to the local shop is a quest in itself. It was amusing at first but I am now finding it difficult to relax.. She just will *not go away.
💯The hardest thing I had to learn was to look at my own Self in that past version of me. To take responsibility and action. Both you and Matt called on me at the event in Sedona. (I also met you at the first event in Austin.). Anyway, I was the girl who was sitting in the back and had just been in the ER the weekend before as a result of the narcissistic relationship I was in back then. I don’t know if you remember, but I spoke to the both of you and the audience, and now this audience, about the white light beings I saw in my NDE in the ER. Matt taught me a mantra that helped me change my story which was, “Up until now.” My point is that it’s so hard and so painful to look at your own role, on top of all the other pain going on from the alleged “relationship”, and then take responsibility for it and THEN take action. Whew. Sometimes it seems easier said than done. BUT because I was in so much pain and almost died, I was able to accept what you and Matt were teaching me. Now I have a New Story and I am a New Person. You guys help me change my Life so much. So many wonderful things happened at that retreat. On my time away from the event, I miraculously also started a new career as a singer songwriter. It happened as if almost of of the blue. Thank you and your team for all you do. 🙏❤️🦋🎶
Thank you for this comment, it is very interesting an enlightening.
It is America
Evil is not limited to any earthly 3D region and that’s ok because neither is the Light of the Divine.
Wow! What growth!
Can you explain “up until now” a bit more. Thanks 😊
Hardcore facts. You can never get enough outside validation and approval. It's never enough.
Because they think they can. They feel your goodness and compassion. Then they abuse it.
yup this definitely happens to me! I dont always see it at first....Even today, i was saying no and setting a boundary and the person came back and pushed harder and tried to make me feel guilty for saying no.
Same
And I avoid them completely now
Dealing with this now.
Me too
Me too
What has helped me is becoming aware of who is "requesting" my assistance and in what manner they're doing. It has been so good for me to just stop playing for a bit. Let your battery recharge. Don't pick up the phone, let them deal with it. Stop enabling them and giving them what they want if they aren't paying mutual respect.
My Mother is a Narcissist so I just couldnt see it as an Adult.......I have learnt to take things VERY SLOW NOW and
Get to know the Person, if their Words do not match their actions then I remove myself pretty quickly
So dad was the enabler? Usually how it goes. that enabler also never comss to bat for you
Nordstrom was full of narcs and empaths lol
Spent 15 years with that company and met some of the best and some of the worst people of my life.
I can only imagine!
I’ve been working under the table. Most of my life for other people was born in the house was manipulated not computer trained. I mean in my own first language on my mother side. This is quite insightful thank you.
My mother died when I was young. My step mom is a narcissist. She removed all pictures of our natural mother from our house and wouldn’t let us talk about our natural mom. I definitely became an empath as a result of this. Watching your videos on feeling other peoples’ energy, learning to create boundaries and frame, everything resonates very strongly with me. Thank you for making these videos. I’m going to try your techniques. I hope they’ll help.
I'm sorry for your loss. That must've hurt & been so hard and dealing with your step mom.
I was codependent until I put up with narcissists at a job for 10 years. That led me to watching utube videos on narcissism, and I made it through the fog. My narcissistic father has since passed away, and I'm no contact with my older jealous narcissist sister. Whew! What a journey and life's teaching lesson! I only do what I want to do, and I don't put up with anyone's condescending ways any longer. Knowledge is power people!
The best thing i did after the last narcissist that i entertained was heal my empath. Now 31/2 yrs later im at complete peace, i smile all the time, i cry with no control, i use logic more than my emotions, my discernment is golden,, Im free from my own self I keep, God 1st coz He's the one who taught me what needed to be healed.. 😊
praise God
I totally agree...God is the Best healer and counsellor. before I have had so called friends who are actually narcs, (one gf for almost 11 years but never could break away from her she was so controlling and possessive.) as well as other narcs in and out of my life. Now I praise God for Him removing every one of them. The closer I've gotten to God the more He warns me about who to stay away from and their wrong intentions. And He has brought in a few friends that I feel safe and genuinely care... He created us to be loved and not to be doormats for abuse.
@@lorrawoods6428 thats so awesome, very happy for you, we can trust Him
Very timely video, I found this dynamic follows us everywhere not only in intimate relationships but also in workplaces. I got tired of this old pattern, even sick of it. I will break this toxic circle. I want to do things because I LOVE doing them, being around people because I LOVE them, instead of seeking someone’s validation.
Also social media(FB, IG, SC, TikToxic)…anytime we post anything on social media, we are subconsciously seeking approval, validation, and attention from people. It’s a BIG sign of insecurity.
Looking for approval or validation from complete strangers and/or acquaintances online is extremely toxic and egotistical.
Selfies are a giant signal of a narcissistic person(in love with their own self/appearance)
❤Doing things you love gives you so much power❤
Did you know that psychiatry is the only medical field that doesn’t look at the organ it treats? This means people go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for years while their symptoms worsen. Because doctors don’t look at the brain, it means they have to rely on guesswork to diagnose and treat patients with symptoms of narcissist ADD/ADHD. It doesn’t have to be this way. The SPECT brain scans measure blood flow and activity in the brain and can take the guesswork out of psychiatry.
I am the empathetic child of a Narcissistic mother who created my Malignant Narcissistic Sociopathic sister. I always thought it was my responsibility to make everyone else feel better, to be the fixer, and smooth over the chaos at my own expense. I now after 65 years of life very clearly see who these people are. I'm now so totally done with wasting time on the ungrateful. It's now about self-preservation and prioritizing myself. I do me and I don't have to save anyone but myself. It's not my responsibility to fix everything for everyone and I refuse to own their emotional baggage.
Same
Ooh...exactly the same dynamic for me too.
Thankyou. You articulated exactly what I have figured out for myself over the last couple of years of therapy... Taking responsibility and admitting that I have been inauthentic in order to manipulate others to keep me safe has been hard to admit but it's so important to own it to be able to change.
Thanks for the kind energy with which you impart your wisdom. 🙏✨
This was awesome! Thank you. The way you stated why we are attracting narcissists completely hit me in the head today. It didn't make sense to me the way it did today. I'm looking for the love and affection that I never received from my parents. I seek it out externally from other people by being a people pleaser and wanting everyone to like me. I please others so I can be loved and accepted by them. These people are usually narcs who only want to use me. I don't need to be loved and accepted by anyone other than myself and God. Starting tomorrow at work I'm going to make myself and everyone else uncomfortable by calling my coworkers out on their shit!
This video is 100% confirmation of the things I've learned in dealing with these types of people. Yes there's a payoff, and the broken/dysfunctional ways we try to cope with childhood trauma & abuse, does keep us bound to this negative energy, but there is a better way & I'm so glad so many are finding a healthy pathway out of this trap.
I don’t think it’s that we gain anything, I think it’s that we are trying to avoid negative consequences.
Which is gaining protection
Bruh, every time my ex gets back with me your channel always shows up. This time I am ready! Thanks you
Aaron, this is one of the clearest examples of exactly what has been operating in my life
I am living within the pattern and not aware of the pattern. As a young adult, I gave up on being loved for me and not how I made my parents look. I realized that my mother desperately needed me to consistently make her look like a good mother to everyone on the outside. Even she knew she wasn't because she really had no interest in being one. My three sisters were never required to play this role. So, I learned how to adapt and and expect nothing in return from those I allowed into my life. I exceeded at a job that no one thought I could do and remained agreeable to receiving attention based on how I made others look. Problem is that, that will not last forever and when your finally drained and they are sufficiently full, they will discard you in the most horrific way you will never think possible. That's when you become aware of the pattern you were too busy living in and for me it's too late to regain even a portion of what has been taken out of me.
Patterns can be bad, changing them often starts by changing our mind and story we tell ourselves as we're often our own worst critic. I've been seeing much good content lately about understanding attachment styles, which I know and understood little about until recently. Quite interesting stuff, remind yourself of your good qualities and attributes, if others degrade, or you're self degrading.
Would try to help . But learning to just listen. It's like we know the answers, but stuck choosing same choices. Sound familiar? Much love. You're perfect. Our creator doesn't make mistakes n
So true! I was on a field trip today with my son and his preschool. The 4 boys in our group wanted so much validation on little things. And I gave it to them. And now I give it to my own inner child as well instead of chasing toxic people. Huge life changing shift happening in me as I heal and feel my feelings and exit a toxic marriage
this is so well spoken, it's the first explanation that I've been able to understand. when you said tension isn't bad that's something I've needed to hear, it's not scary because you can't do it it's scary because you've never done it before so setting boundaries is gonna be uncomfortable
All I can say is oh my GOD, you are on fire with this one. 🔥 Thank you for articulating this in such a clear and profoundly powerful way.
It’s NOT your task 💛🕊️🙌🏻
And that’s a fact.
Save that type of loyalty energy for CLOSE family, close friends and a serious relationship partner.
If you FEEL that you ‘would like to’ help someone close to your heart and soul then you can do only if you want to, only if it feels right.
Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.
Don’t do anything that doesn’t feel right.
Follow your intuition.
Your higher self has all the answers.
You ALWAYS have a choice in life.
And I’m just reflecting back to you your own power sweetheart.
Remember it’s not your task and you don’t have to do anything that doesn’t feel right and you can absolutely vocalise what doesn’t feel right and anyone who truly loves and cares for you unconditionally has to respect that
May this message add value to your life and uplift your day. You give so much of your self to others that you deserve something back.
True giving is…
you don’t give to get,
true giving is giving because it’s who we are. I empathise with what you’ve gone through what you’ve been through as I know what it feels like. Wishing you brighter days ahead 💛🫶🏻🕊️😇🙌🏻
Thank you ❤ this text inspires me and is a confirmation, that I'm doing the right thing ❤
I attrack 'copycats' and energy vampires and narcissists. 😢
need heal
This is a masterpiece of lesson, mixes self experience, with npd psychology terms in a way anyone can engage and understand. Thanks for taking your time doing this.
Brother, you may have saved me and my partners futures. There's alot of videos on YT, full of click bait, NLP, and psychological flooding of hypnotic word salads. But this- this is practical. This is real-life application. I thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your insight. Always Ascend.
You are so right! I was raised by a malignant narcissistic mother and abused by my narcissistic brother, and being the family scapegoat, I subconsciously tried to meet/attract mother replacements. My kindness is always mistaken for weakness. I spent years in therapy, I recognize the patterns, I work on my self esteem, but am alone, so I seem to make an easy target. It's hard to heal when the wounds are constantly being ripped open, so I completely disconnected from my toxic family to save my mental health. Now, I'm stronger than ever, but still attract narcissistic personalities. I think it's because I posses qualities they look for.
Totally identify! Loving myself has been the biggest obstacle. Never feeling good enough and accepting blame for others. Breaking free is an ongoing struggle, but will continue to do so
Same! And whatever I do, I still don't belong.
I'm so fed up with this world!
need healing, It's life long job😢😢@@dagmaranja888
I had a teacher who was mean and difficult. I started having panic attacks and the other teacher in my grade offered to have me in her class. My mother told me I could stay in that class so I could learn to deal with difficult people. You can only imagine how this manifested in my adult life.
I can see that after a certain age and/or development level, like some point in high school. But younger kids are just going to feel scarred for life. 😢
Oh yeah, I was in 3rd grade.
I used to get approached by what we now call "Karens" my whole life. Not so much lately. I would be at the grocery store or buying shoes and they would find me.
@@lizziebanyan9858 Same here, still do. Staying calm usually allows them to publicly out themselves as the Karens they are, though, and I have only to look at them like they're totally nuts. 😆
My poor son's first grade teacher's name was Mrs Wolf. No shit and OMG teaching 40 yrs to little kids and mean as hell. She didn't like when i said my son comes home crying one more time you will cry for months. Pulled him out as did dozens of other parents and she was finally put to pasture. I lived through the same myself. It leaves deep trauma. I thought teachers loved children.
You are definitely right. I’m definitely working on that . I’m an empath. Im not a people pleaser but too nice .I had to set boundaries and stand on these boundaries. Being too nice don’t get you nowhere but get used. I noticed when I set boundaries them users disappear.
Watching this again and I'm sorry about the thing you've been going through bro, man that's heartbreaking.
OMG! Nail on the head with trying to figure out how to get an erratic to love you through people pleasing. Very insightful. It's conditioning, a science lab, trying to figure out what works and doesn't.
I think all relationships are transactional though. It's the nature of inport/export really. It's the nature of economy.
I can send you a bunch of research articles about mothering. I researched the topic in school.
Im deep into these patterns. Thanks for explaining it to me...need constant reminding. Hope it eventually penetrates
THIS is very helpful. thank you. There is a lot of content about explaining the toxic person but there is a lack of content explaining WHY we keep picking them. This is a great starting point for healing and exploring myself.
Godbless You Aaron listening to this video is exactly what my life has been ! I’m 60 soon and this just explained why my choices were made 🙏❤️
Ive been hanging in the shadows watching your stuff over the years. I would like to say that i really like how you've grown and expanded your message and your own consciousness.
Your information is so needed these days.
Keep on keeping, eh
People feel so heavy.
Ok, THAT makes sense!! That empathy are pretty much doing the same thing as narcissists, same vibration, and that’s WHY we attract one another!Ur wisdom is greatly appreciated 💚 Thank you
Thanks! Struck an epiphany for me! Amazing how just a few words can redirect a perspective and stir some lived experiences while trying to discern what I need to focus on at this time that is not serving me.
I needed this today 🤦♀️
They have something you want. A strong frame, the ability to get there needs and get what they feel they deserve.
I did go for what I deserved for years fully cause I was that afraid of causing tension with people that they didn’t even feel real lol, what value do I have if there’s nobody to offer value too? Anger is a good way to create that sense self, as well as real self love too
By the way, I have comedy skits on my channel about all the spiritual stuff I did to avoid rejection that you might like too
💪😈🔥🏋️♀️💥
Did you know that psychiatry is the only medical field that doesn’t look at the organ it treats? This means people go undiagnosed or misdiagnosed for years while their symptoms worsen. Because doctors don’t look at the brain, it means they have to rely on guesswork to diagnose and treat patients with symptoms of narcissist ADD/ADHD. It doesn’t have to be this way. The SPECT brain scans measure blood flow and activity in the brain and can take the guesswork out of psychiatry.
But then how many of them will go to a therapist or they'll say it just so that you'll think about it all the time and say you said you would go I said if I go will you go and I went and they said you're being abused by a narcissist when I explained the tactics and how I felt I didn't say narcissist but they did so I told her well they said I have abused syndrome from you there's only two people here in my reality and the other ones you
Dr. Daniel Amen does brain scans on his patients and call tell right away what diagnos or type of brain chemistry they have,of course he also looks for the symtoms..It would be so much easier if there was more resources and clinics to do this... trauma for example leaves like "holes" in the brain😮
Thank you so much for this video. I have felt a bit stuck recently, more so since apologising to my brother and taking my responsibility in the family fallout. Big mistake as all i got was abuse back, start of a cycle again.
Anyway, watching this video made me realise I had started to neglect my healing side of things since stepping away from a narcissistic family. I got up from the settee and had an urge or calling to go meditate as I felt something was building up. During my session I was connecting with my inner child and some traumatic times where i was kicked out or guilt shamed and blamed, then after awhile I said to my inner child 'i will give you unconditional love' and i ended up breaking down as if it felt like a huge breakthrough.
I am truly grateful for you helping me make this breakthrough. Thank you so much 🙏❤️
PS Love how awakened and real this community is ❤
You came at the RIGHT time! Thank you, just got a fight with my mom that is a narcissist.
Love you bro. You gotta keep doing these videos forever. Grateful for you
thank you for combining all your previous talking points here.... i understand that people pleasing is the way i behaved as a child and that having my own frame is supporting to me to no longer go for the people i can play out my childhood dynamics with... God. I kinda get it before, but not as clear as today.
Great analogies and the pay off observation is BANG on....We just have to kearn to seek validation from just one source...our own self...
And to allow for that, learning our own sources of well being, reparenting our inner child...IS really the way to go..
Reparenting is possible and makes me feel so grounded ❤
When you start to see, every encounter takes on a whole new meaning. It's like a secret genie whispering in your ear. 😊😊😊
Intermittent reinforcement (breadcrumbs) causes the trauma bond.
I tried to break all the bonds so these ppl came after me in Ubers! It's terrible.
Aaron, firts of all thanks to have the confidence to share your private life with us, secondly I appreciate a lot your advices in this video, I'm going through a manipulative, controlling and narcissistic relationship with my daughter, I'm a survivor as a victim of psychological and sexual child abuse, finally at 61 I'm giving myself the opportunity to be myself and be in the path of healing, in simple words you have helped me a lot right now. Blessings to you, you are a blessing to us.
Love this whole video Aaron! You gave such a succinct overview of the lessons I've been learning and deep diving into for the last eight years. Biggest take away (from my research) and what you have stated here...choose to see yourself as all of the love and validation you need. TY ❤
Needed to hear this right now. Almost 50 years old and finally seeing my pattern. I search for validation from unhealthy sources to fill a need for love/security that was never met in childhood. Learning to love myself and breaking free of childhood need for validation is happening now. Universe sends tests with narcissistic past boyfriends reappearing. Time to break the cycle!
exactly! thank you for going deep on important subjects.
So well spoken and I could totally resonate with it, your childhood experience has a profound impact over the rest of your life, you have to learn to re-nurture your inner child again and love yourself!
You are so absolutely correct! I always tried to "save" people by helping any way I could. It lead to attracting narcissists for their benefit. Even family use you for their benefit. My father was a narcissist and I truly believe the shame factor definitely factored in for every aspect of my life, which I didn't realize until I watched a video from Jerry Wise. That was the key factor from growing up with a narcissist parent. I'm in healing mode, and I have learned so much. Today I subscribed to your channel! ❤
Naristist have many demonic enitys in them. If you a empath, with a very kind heart, full of sympathy for others, Satan will always find a way to send a narc into your life. You have to be strong and put the armor of God on. He's out to destroy God's children. God bless 🙏
❤@@sharonbice7490
the "lesson is to deal with it and be authentic and lean into tension; tension is not bad." Couldn't have said it better.
I don't get it. Like the tension the narcs, abusers, manipulators create through their attempts and the tension we create through resistance and confrontation? Is that what he means? The tension of someone’s disapproval and disappointment? The tension of disrespect? The tension of the burdens they try to put on you but you resisting that but not giving a fuck? I feel like I'd have to become a cold person and use cold skills but maybe this is appropriate for this kinds of people.
Yow, I thank you brother, God bless you, no one would never understand unless you go through with evil narcissist, worst thing..
Thank you A-A-ron . you are one that helped me during my darkest year. ❤
Child abuse is a very difficult thing to deal with and overcome. And it's even harder getting over the anger and resentment towards the person or people who put you in that situation. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and understanding of these difficult dynamics.
I really needed this video. Thank you so much!!
Thank you so much for this Aaron! 🙏
This is SO HUGE!! I’m 47 and while better now- both my parents were avoidant attachment style. I fought for their validation which was hard won and still attract people that that today. Wow! Such a revelation!
i very much needed to see this today. I opened youtube with the intention to find some answers and this video came up first thing. Exactly what I needed to understand. Thank you for doing what you do!
Excellent. Common language for all. Developing tougher boundaries for Empath is working for me. Not attracting Narcs and if I encounter a Narc they don't like me. Yeah All true what you said
This is eye opening ❤
Aaron you have helped so many .. God Bless you
Wow. Thank you. I didn’t understand it until you said it. Thank you 🙏🙏🙏
Great video Aaron- I’m surrounded by demanding people
Love all of Aaron's information.
Also, I think we're experiencing more of them because the times coincide with 2 Tim 3:1-5.
Peace, love, healing and growth to all.
You are so spot on. I hv similar family history as you. My step mom is a narc, and so evil that i had to do whatever to be validated by her coz i was so scare. My dad was an empath. I thank God for the journey of healing (and yes i hv to go thru hell first to see the light). Now i love myself, i know i am already validated by God. I am well loved. I no longer crave ppl attention or validation. I am good enough and more! Yay!
Just stumbled on this while reflecting on a recent relationship I ended . Thank you for explaining the dynamic in a clear and compassionate manner. It's difficult to break a negative cycle, and this has helped me realize I made the right decision but it's the first step in a series of steps about loving myself and setting healthy boundaries.
I have encountered a few narcissists before. 😢Even one had gone, another one would come. The cycle would repeat until you heal yourself. So healing is super important 🎉Thanks Aaron for teaching us how to heal ❤
How to heal
Agreed , when I healed it’s amazing the people I repel now - those narcissistic people who can’t get near me , use slander , underlying bullying , attacks of my personality and I just smile and move on , I don’t play into anymore and realised how much I used to in the past then got called the crazy one .
Yep had exactly the same thing - over and over, narcissists and they all became progressively more scary. The truth is though I know I have some codependency wounds to heal and I figured out that at the very core the narcissist has some of the same wounds as myself. It’s just we express in totally different ways AND of course I have the ability to live and feel positive emotions and they don’t!
Great to see you out here, Carlie! 🙌 The healing is absolutely needed to stop the cycle, indeed. Blessings to you! 🌟
Gosh, yes I can totally see why I’m attracting narcissistic partners. You explained it perfectly.
I’m not sure how to create a relationship that is not transactional. I have never experienced that as a child. Everything was transactional love really didn’t have much to do with it.
I don’t really know what that looks like. Any ideas on how I can experience that?
This world seems to be made up of all transactional types of relationships. How can I attract some thing I don’t really understand?
In my case it isn't because I was seeking validation from them but because I grew up with a single mother that was feeling like a victim and treating me like a friend rather than her child, when I came to her for help. So I learned to take care of my emotional needs and to be used to people who act helpless, needy and selfish. Some of the people I ended up loving most in my life were people with mental issues that were very good at taking and very bad at giving. I felt like my emotions and needs never mattered to them. I am trying now to internalise that these people are adults just the way I am, and their self destructive behaviours are not mine to fix, they are just as capable as me to watch over themselves and act right. In Romania there is a saying "you are the mother of all the wounded ones". And it's bad because it also enables them to act entitled and selfish, if you do mother them and neglect yourself.
I've been meditating every day for several months, on my own, with some help from videos like this, but until I experienced certain things and got these downloads from, what I believe is my higher self, I didn't understand how true some of this is. I now understand that I have been subconsciously attracting men in my life that are a reflection of my step dad, father and my younger brother. It's crazy when everything becomes so clear, the patterns are so obvious, but until you sit quietly with yourself and learn to raise your consciousness and vibration, you won't see it.
Bruh I watch a lot of videos on mental health this by far is the best one I ever seen a total game changer thank you from the bottom of my heart
Aaron .. wow… right on time.
I have these patterns since childhood. I was raised in a loving family. Recently I discovered two past lives ago, my father was an abusive alcoholic after my mom died. I’ve repeated these patterns in my next 2 lives (current). I’ve realized I can’t just run away. I’m actually beginning to “learn my lessons”, and bloom! I’m discovering who I am! Many people say run away, but learn to overcome your environment. (Obviously if it’s not safe, leave)
Excellent. Too many pointing finger and running. You practiced self love and strengthened your boundaries. That's healing.
You don't think you might be in denial about this life? I was brainwashed to think I was raised in a "loving" family...then I realized they were narcs!
What a great video @AaronDoughty44 👏👏🙏🙏
So many important insights and healing aspects of both sides of the narcissistic spectrum. Thank you 🙏