When Your Soulmate Becomes Your Ex | Lovers and Friends Ep. 61
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- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
- In this episode, I talk about the 10 soulmates we may encounter over the span of our lives. Thanks for being patient with me this week on this episode. Promise to do better!
Here are the 10 types of soulmates.
The Stranger Soul Mate - unrequited love is still love. We needed them, we loved them, we were certain we were destined to marry them and they barely remember our last name.
The black hole Soul Mate - the person that we lost ourselves and our sensibilities to (usually our first requited soul mate experience)
The Almost doesn’t count Soul Mate - the person who checked all the boxes but couldn’t light your fire (or vice versa)
The Only If They… Soul Mate
The Stay with you Forever but Stay Away From Me Forever Soul Mate - the person you’ll never truly be over even though it’s definitely over
The one that got away - the good guy/ girl who you blew it with and now they’re happy with someone else
The Rip Tide Soulmate - the relationship that preys on your needs, insecurities, weakness’ and fears.
The prototype Soulmate - the person you are so sure is your one but upon further inspection you realize is just a beautiful imposter who taught you what you really needed to know about what you need out of love
The Muse Soulmate - the person who’s meant to teach you about love/ connection, but not give it to you (usually a crush you never get a shot with)
The Love of my Life soulmate- the relationship that allows you to be your best self and love at a higher frequency. A love marked by self insight, happiness, individual growth and true mutuality.
Love animation video:
• The science of falling...
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This episode made me feel less stupid for having a ridiculous amount of love for someone who I don't think will ever be my life partner. Thank you for sharing your heart.
Thank you for being here ❤
@@loversbyshan Can you do an episode on people having trust issues again after a breakup? Once someone puts their guard down and making themselves vulnerable only to be betrayed after years of dating.
No regrets, just lessons. You have to transcend the bitterness and regret, it will keep you in lower emotions. Everyone we meet plays an important role to trigger us so that we can grow and heal our trauma
I realized I met my soulmate, “my person” after I broke up with him. It’s a shitty feeling to know that we’ll never get back together and I’ll never feel or receive that specific type of love again. But I have made peace with the fact that I got a chance to love him and be loved by him.
I’m going through this too! The pain is unreal. Have you healed?
I’m in the middle of did I make a mistake with trying to take a break and it ending up being a breakup or did I make the right decision because now he doesn’t want to get back into a relationship but we still each are intimate etc but at the same time his behavior is what brought me to a breaking point but my crazy self still love him so much that now I find myself fighting alone to fix things.
@@ItsKO2U if you’re the only one who is fighting to fix it I think you should walk away. It’s hard and will hurt like hell but the alternative is letting him have access to your body knowing that he won’t give you anything more than that.
“Are you looking for a love story or are you looking for a life story?” 🔥🔥🔥 this hit!!
I want both 🥺
I always find it funny when youtubers apologize for not being consistent with posting at a specific date and time. I know there probably are those who pay attention to that and tune in at a routine time.
But I would like to add that I'm someone who opens my youtube app and I watch whatever piques my interest on my feed & Shan, you post frequently enough for me to click your videos often, regardless of the time you post. Just wanted to say, no apology needed! You make free content for us and we appreciate you for that ! ❤
I agree completely! I’m like girl we are not tripping we will take it when u put it out lol. Love her!
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I appreciate this but truly it does matter especially in the podcast world where ppl are used to a culture of routine. I get DMs a lot from ppl who say it’s hard to get into the flow bc I don’t have one and I get it. Many of my friends who podcast NEVER miss their promised time and it goes a long way building community there. Totally agree though about RUclips bc here it’s the algorithm so even if I do post u may not even see it
@@shanboody yeah you got a point. We’re just super grateful of it all but what you said makes sense.
BIG FACTS!!!
I am currently in the "we are not gonna be together but you will stay with me forever" soul mate experience. This is such an incredible painful love when you have to let go.
the absolute most painful… i’m on the same journey. Patience & grace for yourself is everything when you are trying to heal
Part of me is knows this is the space I am in with my person and the other part is fighting against that like nah it’s not over continue to fight the love is still there. But I’m fighting alone now it seems because when he was so called fighting he still wasn’t changing his bad behavior though I always have been fighting for us by forgiving him for his mistakes and it’s a really weird space to be in when you love them so deeply but you have to let them go because in hindsight they may not be good for you or your not good for them
@@ItsKO2U That feeling of being torn between the two decisions is painful, depressing and frustrating. You can never go wrong in choosing yourself and loving yourself, because in the end…it all works out! Who is meant to be in your life will be, without fighting, coercing etc. Be still and give yourself the grace, love, forgiveness and patience you need at this time.
Why did this video just help me get over my ex. Ending the cycle, thank you.
I am uncoupling from my marriage of 9 years right now with a lot of love and respect for one another. It's heartbreaking but my truth only got louder and louder until I could no longer bury it. Thank you for this (timely) conversation. I am so grateful for you.
Thank you for writing this 💛 I hope it’s not rude or too personal to ask, but what was your truth?
That metaphor of the fruit vs the fruit tree was powerful.
My “soulmate” wasn’t meant to stay in my life. He was sent to me by God to break the blueprint of the trauma I grew up with (narcissistic family). When I left the relationship my heart hurt so bad that I would literally ask God to take my life. I learned then why it’s called heartbreak because your heart literally feels like it breaking. In this moment today I stand powerful and feel so grateful for my life. I don’t ruminate to much on stuff like that anymore. Let’s keep moving forward.
The only real relationship is the one we have with ourselves every other one is just a reflection of that ❤
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This is so true ❤️
Healthy detachment has greatly assisted as I have healed from numerous heartbreaks. I’m still not there, but I am learning to have acceptance and gratitude for the love lost.
I honestly feel like this podcast is 100% aligned with my life. Every time I have a thought or have an issue, THAT SAME DAY an episode comes out about the topic I'm having an issue with. thank youuu
Literallly !!!!
no seriously though, same heeeerrrreeeee
Like
No apologies needed. We all watch when it shows up on the feed. We ain't paying your bills boo
Girl I was about to text my ex… thank god for this episode lol
You definition of Love is actually the definition of Lust. Love is an action word. It’s not how your feel, but what you do.
Soulmates is not exclusively romantic partners. Anyone could be a soulmate. A parent, a child, a friend. A soulmate is someone that you've encountered in other lifetimes and with whom you come together to complete or further your soul experience. Depending on your beliefs it may be someone you have unresolved karma with, or someone with whom your soul chose to relive a connection or experience a different version of love, etc.
Yes, this is the perfect explanation!
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You just gained a subscriber - thanks for sharing your perspective 🙏🏽
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I absolutely loved your explanation! You’ve gained a subscriber!
I came to say exactly this! 😊
This made me super emotional, because I think about my current partner and all the shit we've been through, all the work we've done on ourselves. We collectively acted like a team, took accountability for the bullshit and worked together to learn. I'm so grateful for her.
I’m 21 and I’m still soo young and realistically only have had one love so far I think sometimes I feel like I won’t have another because of where I am right now. But this episode reminds me to not be closed off to the possibility of a new love especially bc it can be a forever love or a love that was meant to happen bc my journey with love has still so much to go through
I’m so happy that this was the topic of your podcast today. I’m in a part of my healing for my last relationship that lasted 3 years. It was my first real love, and it served me the lesson I needed. I thank them for breaking my heart and helping me realize the real side of love.
It’s crazy that it took this long for me to be able to understand the many experiences with love I have had. We often begin to feel unwanted or unlovable when in fact these were all experiences that were meant to give insight to ourselves. We can still appreciate them as meaningful relationships that helped shape the person we’ve become. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I keep coming back to this video / episode because as I experience all the joys of soulmates I forget that when the pains come around, I did it before. And it helps me remember how special each connection is, in a way that I can acknowledge it and not have to discard it completely from my memory when it ends.
This video is so timely for so many of us. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
This makes my heart smile. Thank you for being here ❤
I truly admire how you find just the right words to explain about anything. Would love to know if it’s a skill you intentionally learnt or one that comes to you naturally
The way you describe this makes me feel like I’m not the only one who went through and still goes through this. It’s so emotional draining for me that I’ve decided to take a break from dating.
OMG I had to pause the vid. This is so “fascinating”.. I totally relate to your adolescent love for Devon. I used to dream about someone I went to elementary school with older brother, Travis! And when I say I was madly in love with this person, I mean head over heels. Within the dream world the love we shared was magical and mystical and I haven’t known a love like that since and I’m 40+. We never said more than a few words to each other in real life but that didn’t stop my subconscious mind from falling HARD for him 🤦🏾♀️. Thank you so much for sharing.
Shan… the timing of this is unreal. God ordained even. Thank you
THIS WOMAN RIGHT HERE! A blessing to the planet, truly. Also, the copies this woman creates genius copies for her ad placement! ❤😂
Your best video to Date!!!!
I shared to 5 people.
It makes you come at peace with past relationships… it’s very healing.
This video will break a healing bearer for a lot of people!!! Definitely went through a mental portal on this one. Thanks
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I am so glad my only love story became my life story, this all sounds so exhausting, and defeating emotionally, If I had known hurt with multiple relationships I don’t know if I would ever settle and believe in love again, but then again some of us are more sensitive to pain and rejection.
Shannon!!!! Whewww, thank you for being so open and vulnerable about this topic with us! I honestly thought I was losing my mind when I couldn’t find the words to describe some of the connections I had/have with people romantic or platonic.
Just ended a 3months relationship where I truly thought that was my soulmate but turns out it was not meant to be but the emotions and feelings plus potential was there more than any long term relationships I’ve had.
Thank you for making it all make sense, and I’m glad I can openly say you’re one of my soulmates😘😘😘
This actually brought me to tears. It has been so challenging to stay hopeful and truly believe that I'll ever be in love again. Thanks for sharing your stories. Looking forward to meeting the right shooting stars in the future ✨️ 💕
"If we can learn to love here, we can love anywhere" embodied the energy behind this episode for me. It applied to the way I perceived my recent dissatisfaction with life in general. Thank you, made me realize I need to get to a place of being more driven and even more grateful.
This episode is so true! Relationships are like a school and living with someone is intense if not done right!
This episode is beautifully written. It’s time to write that book. 🔥 🔥 🔥
Fun fact the soulmate archetypes was a rejected book idea ❤ in fairness it was rejected bc they said it’s more of an article than a full book idea
Also thanks stephy
agreeeeed
I love your journey! It’s wild because I initially wanted to be a journalist but changed my major to psychology. Obtained my Masters as well. Now I’m wanting to combine the two! So I love the platform that you have built using them both.❤
Love this conversation about the different types of soulmates!! Helps to explain alot of my past connections as well.💕
I guess if everyone’s definition of soulmate was that they dated many and thought all were soulmates, my definition of soulmate means their can only be one.
I used to play One Mo Gin all the time to cry when I was in heartbreak. Boy DAngelooooo!
I adore this 💓 I’m in a season of deep healing, & mostly self focused love, still in community, but nothing romantic or “serious”. It brings me a lot of curiosity & comfort to know about these archetypes. I can see some of them in people I’ve dated, but mostly it reminds me to receive/face & enjoy love in all it’s many forms. With that perspective it seems even more silly to settle for anything bare minimum or misaligned. Love is literally everywhere when you learn to accept all its variations
I love this episode so much! I have had many great loves and sad loves but they all brought me to my greatest beyond measure, which is my husband now❤
So grateful I am able to access this video at the age of 21 ❤️ Love you Shan!
You're definitely a muse soulmate for me. I've been subscribed to your other channels for years and seeing your growth and your relationship with Jared has served as a huge source of inspiration. When I was in an undesirable situation, your words served as a touchstone reminding me of what's possible. Thank you so much for sharing your work with us. XOXO, Dalia.
I loved this! Shan, you've definitely been a muse/inspiration soul mate for me. The fact that you were so vulnerable and openly speaking about sexually so candidly had me in awe. Will Smith is definitely another. I've listened to his book twice now and plan to revisit next year. It's such a gem. He comes across as such a conscious, tortured but sweet soul.
It's crazy because my fiancé is similar he's just not as open, but when he does express, it's deep and beautiful. He's an introverted intellectual. I was married before and together with that person for 13 years. He is someone I had more of a friendship based love from the beginning. He felt more romantic love and ultimately desired that for himself. Not that I never desired him intimately, but I was not passionate about our love. Still hurt like hell not to continue life with everything we'd weathered together and twin boys, but I'm glad for us both to have found passionate loves.
Your voice is so soothing Shan. Ive purposely taken a nap to your voice several times❣️
My favorite episode by far. I don’t know about many other people’s experiences with love and my thoughts and feelings made me feel very alone
This episode resonates with me and helps me compartmentalize my experiences from my feelings. Thanks girl, I will be rewatching this episode over and over again ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Shan you are definitely one of my muse soulmates 💫 also each one of these lover and friends topics have come at the most needed moment for me so thank you greatly 🙌🏽💗
Wow. Timely episode. Thanks God and the universe for me seeing this now. I’m currently heartbroken and healing from who I really thought was my life partner , my person… but idk if he feels that way about me. Because of the timing of our relationship. So he’s prototype for sure…I really wish he could be my one 😢
Definitely needed this while trying to reconcile and give myself permission to let go of someone I truly love but realizing and accepting that I may be his person but he's not my person 🙁
You and Jared are one of my muse soulmates:) even though I would not do certain things or want my relationship like yours. But I see the love, the creation, the joy, the partnership, the care and it makes me happy.
Thank you Shan♥︎ I really needed this one. It resonated on a level that completely shifted my energy in this area. Im trying to heal in a house that is haunted with the memories of a home that was shattered mere months ago. I know it is for the best and that he is NOT the man I want or need, but it still hurts. Its infuriating how that feeling doesnt just disapear no matter how much I want it to. The internal struggle is real and annoying. Thanks for helping to tip the scales in the less crazytown direction. ☆♥︎☆
I believe in soul mates but I don’t believe that we only have one and it only exists as romantic relationships. I’ve had friends that were my soulmate
This is such an interesting topic. I think soulmates can fit into a few of the categories at once which makes it that much more complex but special. The one soulmate I had was the black hole, only if they and we're not going to be together but you'll stay with me forever. I'm grateful for this connection because of what you said about your prototype; it showed me what love could be and feel like. I finally felt that reciprocal deep love and I started to doubt I had the capacity to love like that prior to this. I think about him often, this was a very impactful connection
Going through a break up right now, thank you for this
LOVED THIS. I loved going down memory lane seeing where each of my loves fit in to these soulmate encounters. I love your stories, your evolution, and you
Ooo! I'm excited to hear about the soulmate archetypes.
that wind was BLOWING omg
🫰🫰🫰 Snapping my fingers right now. I’ve felt this episode in my soul! 🤍 Thank you, Shan.
I loved this episode. It brought me hope, while also forcing me to look back and find closure in my past. Thank you ❤
I’m tired of soulmates that never turn into life partners. I want to find my person but I don’t think that going to happen in this lifetime. So I’ve been focusing on me and going to therapy. For now that’s enough.
I looooove how this is edited ☺️. I enjoy these topics, helps me reflect upon myself.
Literally my we were never going to be together but imma stay with you forever just called the most recent quits and this time I know he was just a shooting star. This episode right here girl was the one!
I learn something new every time I watch your podcast ✨🌱
Omg this was such a raw conversation and I really needed it. The way I can relate is Beautiful. Thank you
Wow based on the title this is exactly what I’ve been dealing with. I’m gonna watch the full video in a bit
Thank you for this! This conversation has really helped me to process the idea of love and soulmates in a way I have never done before. I am grateful to have listened and learned from you.
It’s not too ambitious, you are for me and have been for quite some time. I have always enjoyed learning from you and going on this journey together.
You are definitely becoming my muse soulmate Shan! 😂❤ Thank you for a much needed episode!!!!!
Wonderful episode, Shan! You consistently bring valuable content to this space.
I’ve just left my ex 2 months ago, this has really put things into perspective. I’ve always loved watching your videos, thank you ❤
I literally thought about Esther Perell before you talked about her...I would love to see an episode with her.
This was so relatable! It’s amazing too because I have been wanting to make a similar video, “leaving a soulmate” and this was just the universe giving me confirmation! 👏🏽🙏🏽
I definitely would say you’re my MUSE SOUL MATE💖💐✨everything you’ve ever put out I’ve been truly invested in & choose to apply to my daily love life on the journey to love myself all the way to being with my life partner one day. 🧸 the way you communicate and share your depths with us is truly a gift💖 thank you Shan~ LOVE YOU HONEY!!!
Would you ever reach out to Raven Ross on her experiences on Love is Blind and afterwards? I admire you both and think you both speak very candidly and openly about the complexity of love and your needs. I think it would bring interesting conversation.
Yessssss😊
I feel like that would be a lovely conversation to hear!
I watched an interview that she did recently on RUclips.
This is neeeeeded such a good idea
They just did a lovers & friends vid 3 months ago lol. U must’ve spoke into existence
you've defined the exact idea i hold of what defines a soulmate
upload the pattern. that's a app you put you birth dates, so you can see the combability of you two. it's amazing because you connect very quick with people, and mostly are spiritual
YOU ARE MY SOUL MATE - no doubt about it!
Funny thing, I thought that the scene behind you was a backdrop and that it was not real, but since that incident happened, I guess my question was answered. I am glad you were not hurt and that nothing broke.
Been following you for about 10 years now Shan, you definitely are my muse soulmate!
You are SO my muse soulmate with a good dash of infatuation cause you're so kickass. An inspiration with 0.0000 doubts across the board.
you literally are my muse soulmate. Thank you, Shan🤗
Your podcast is one of my favorites! So therapeutic
Wow this is such an amazing, awesome and beautifully Blessed video. I will be watching again and again! Thank you 😊
Your content speaks to my lover soul. It makes me think of my past in ways I haven’t before and see those prior connections for what they were
sis this is the internet, drop whenever we tuning in! love your work
Thank you for this. The person I loved is now dating someone new and I’m not sure how to be happy for him and know that I want more for myself. But I miss that love we shared and I don’t know how to make peace with no longer being able to feel that love and connection with him.
You are absolutely my muse soulmate. Love you so much Shan. Your story and relationship are such a big inspiration to me to keep going. Sending you love. And thank you for living in your purpose.
Bankeeeeeee I feel this deep thank you
I bout fell out my chair when she related romance to a super nova. This topic is going to be GOOD!!!! Happy watching everyone!
Girl, this was simply beautifully informative. I loved this some of these deeply resignated 💜
I really enjoyed this episode. It made me categorize where some of my situations.
I would love to share a moment with you and Jared. I think the sparks between y’all would start flying again. And our children can play. Peace and love to you.
Sis, awwwwwwwwe this is tough. Sometimes once someone becomes an ex, I wonder if we were even in a relationship. IDK if that's just a 2020's thing
You're my Muse Soulmate, Shan!!! ❤
You did that Shan. Awesome thank you.
I came to RUclips full of questions and with a touch of divine intervention this video popped up as the resolute answer. Thank you for yet another wonderful resource. Love the video! Love you! Love witnessing your journey all these years! ....You are definitely one of my muses btw lol
Shan, you are speaking to my spirit! Thank you for this ❤
I would also like to add that being aware of all these versions of love is so liberating, but so d*** exhausting. Connection is complex to find and to know there are all these fail forward 😩. I’m tired lol
I love this episode I laughed I cried I had an epiphany. Thank you 💛😭
Thank you Shan, for making my life more romantic :) You really teached me that we can create and learn having stable relationships!
Thank you, you are reinforcing my hope in bringing a life partner into my life !!
Thank you so much Shan, this pod freed me in so many ways
Bro when Shan gets emotional I get emotional 🥺🥺😭♥️
Just experienced the one that got away soul mate! This was soul on timee❤