I'm sorry to hear that you went through such a difficult experience with your ex-girlfriend. Dealing with abuse and manipulation is incredibly challenging, I can't imagine someone blaming on a disorder that they don't have
I had an IRL friend a couple years ago, back in high school when we were around 14-15 who claimed to have DID along with a whole lot of other things. I first made friends with them because I found out that we both enjoyed watching the Dream SMP, and whilst I was a fairly casual fan who stayed well away from fandom spaces (read: Twitter) they were very much a 'Dream Stan'. They claimed to have pretty much the entire cast as their 'alters', and would play up stereotypes of the RUclipsrs whenever that certain alter fronted. It was exhausting and I was in a constant state of trying not to piss them off or freak them out, they were Very loud and had a bit of an obsession with me. I really wanted to help them, because they obviously were not very well, but also I was in an awful place at the time and definitely not in a place where I could help them. They crossed their lies constantly and twisted the truth in ways that make me still paranoid of things to this day. They talked about things that were immensely triggering and trauma dumped out of the blue. They were not very well but still a pretty awful person. I did introduce them to a small circle of online friends in a Discord server at one point, and they seemed to use their supposed mental illness to entertain the people on the server and draw attention to themself, pulling alters out of their ass like they were some kind of puppet show, alters argueing with each other or even dating each other. They managed to cause some kind of controversy and I lost contact with all of the people on that Discord server after becoming good friends with them. They isolated me from my friends and I felt bad so I spent more time with them, because they didn't have anyone else to turn to. Eventually, I called them out on a lie about a health issue, which they deflected and blamed on a persecutor alter, and I finally lost my temper - something that never happens generally - and shouted at them on the school bus XD Dude, this person was really something. I really did want to find a way to help them, and we reconnected several times, and whilst they may be past faking DID, I did hear that they had found something new to fake, so yeah. The last I saw of them was one time where they took photos of me when I was eating my lunch lmao Hope that they have been removed from whatever the hell was going on at home, and found somewhere where they don't have to constantly put their illness on display for any shred of attention.
I'm sorry you dealt with that. It's rough out there and people feel the need to take the focus from those who need it. It's affected mine, yours, and others' lives immensely. I hope one day it'll stop.
I think the validation is the internet. It’s just how it works. People feel lonely, they get online for attention and validation; Bing bang boom, ADDICTED.
I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder depressive type in my teens. My moms side of the family has a history of it, my grammas dad and my moms brother. I guess its just the fucked up genes i inherited. My parents suspected something was wrong with me for years but at the time mental health was not like it is today. In elementary school it was hard to make friends because everyone i talked to i believed hated me I thought the whole was against me, telling me i was an idiot calling me names and avoiding me because i was different. This would turn into actually bullying the worse my symptoms got. People would talk about me as if i was a school shooter or a a mentally disturbed creep that would end up in prison. I got called the r-slur, a rumor started that i was a slut and a drug addict. I'd severe tremors in my hands because of all the different medications i was taking. I was prescribed lithium at one point in my early years of highschool which caused me to have uncontrolled piss problems. I skipped school alot because my anxiety got so bad i feared everyone could hear my thoughts & were judging me for my sexuality and when i heard the voices of god telling me i was going to hell i became a closeted homophobe and so scared of everyone. Religious delusions told me my family is going to hell if i didnt participate in 'sacrifices' (s/h & putting myself in uncomfortable unhealthy situations) I stopped speaking & avoided everyone i cared for, my grades suffered, i thought people were following me, hallucinated monsters stalking me & had sudden delusions about who i was & what was happening to me. I belived was a witch named kirra from a past life that died from drowning only to be reincarnated by god as a second chance to prove i deserved heaven. I believed i had been kidnapped from my real family, my dad & brother molested me & my parents were trying to kill me by poisoning my food. I stopped eating, became & paranoid & distrustful. I stopped taking showers & brushing my teeth. I heard voices telling me to kill & hurt people, that i had to hurt my self or else. I believed i had cancer, that my skin was infested with maggots & parts of my body were falling off. I couldnt get put of bed because i was so depressed my life wasnt worth living, i belived deserved hell & this was my punishment, all my problems were my fault & i didnt deserve happiness. Voices would tell me that everyday and i was so convinced. I was hospitalized several times for self harm depression and talk about killing myself. The highshool staff didnt take me seriously until i tried killing myself in the class. I grabbed the teachers scissors & ran out to the high way hoping to jump in front of a car. I tried cutting parts of my body off (boobs, stomach, arm fat) police had to get me & i dropped out of school to be homeschooled while seeking mental help. When i came back my symptoms got better but i was so insecure & lost a majority of my personality & interests. Nothing really mattered. None of my friends liked me & the very few who still stuck around acted as if i was just some friend of a friend they knew. I wasn't included in the group, i got left out. When i tried opening up about what i was going through i lost one friend because he believed i was faking it for attention & he was insulted because he thought i was lying about my depression, cuz he had depression and to him i was making excuses to defend my actions. NOW THIS IS WHY I TAKE FAKING MENTAL DISORDERS SERIOUSLY. It WONT make you cute or quirky, it WILL get you attention but never the good kind. Faking always comes back to bite you in the as & eventually it gets worse I lost everything. I fought so hard to get it back. I dont struggle like i used to thanks to getting help, i still have the voices from time & its still hard to talk about because judgment & embarrassed ment but im open about it publicly because im a survivor & i want to stand for those like me who are struggling & deserve their voices to be heard. Faking is a the most insulting slap in the face. Some of us arent as lucky, alot of us end up dead or in prison. Even with all the advocacy and awareness thats improved, NO ONE EVER TAKES US SERIOUSLY. IF A MENTAL DISORDER IS SOMETHING YOU REALLY REALLY WANT , EXPECT THE SAME FUCKING THING TO APPLY. Careful what you wish for. And 2 everyone in the comments, you are so worthy of help! You deserve to be heard Take care xx
I typed “cringe” in a general chat in “neurodivergent tea party” server and it the mods felt it was an attack and thought I was a troll cuz I wasn’t comfortable telling them my diagnosis with roles. They called me a faker. Yet they were roleplaying as hazbin hotel bots and said they were “alters”. They were mad I asked for diagnosis papers yet tried to harass me into airing mine out. I’m diagnosed adhd, mdd, gad, and cptsd. SMH 😂
yeah, I joined one after I got diagnosed out of curiosity. first red flag was that it was a bunch of kids, and I do NOT join/host discord servers with minors. But I actually found one for adults, and it was just as bad!! I think I posted in that server once or twice before slowly backing away and realizing that stuff isn't for me. however, I truly wish discord had some way of keeping adults out of minor spaces and vice versa at least the option to do so. I don't think it's healthy to have adults brainwashing these kids (or worse)
From my experience there is absolutely 0 trustworthy communities in discord related to DID or OSDD, every time ive tried joining one i was so uncomfortable and left asap, most are either full of endos, misinformation or the weirdest things possible
@@bittersweeeet_I will never understand endos. Most of the people that call themselves systems are endos. It just doesn’t make any sense. Most are minors but I don’t wanna fake claim anyone. I will never understand endos-
These videos always make me question if I'm faking at the start, but then I hear the stories and realise that I'm not, I am medically diagnosed, not with did, but cptsd resulting in multiple personality states, and it's good having these videos to remind me that I am valid, and not faking, it's always a major stresser for me and other systems I know but thanks for the reminder that we aren't like these fakers, we are valid and we feel safe here. ❤
I was glad to see this. I have met a number of people that claim to have disorders where I had reason to be pretty skeptical. I have bipolar 1, and when I hear people talk about this stuff sometimes, its almost like hearing people talk about fantasy football or something. Like it's cute to have a disorder or that everyone has to bend over backwards to put their symptoms on a pedestal so that nothing is a problem for them. Meanwhile, my disorder destroyed my life before it was diagnosed and medicated and I came very close to suicide numerous times and developed a years long drinking problem. It's not cute and it pisses me off when people pretend or pick out one symptom of many or worse, whatever tv/movie representation of said disorder and are like "yep, I sure have that, haha." I'm not saying that people can't diagnose accurately, but for fuck's sake, it's not hard to find reputable sources and look at what other things could be causing your problems before jumping to a conclusion based on that twitter thread you found the other day. When you do deal with something like this, you spend your whole life being conscious of how it effects you and others, especially those you care about. You don't use it as an excuse for abusive behavior, you don’t want to make it the main thing you talk about all the time and you don't not treat it. When I run into people that brag about having a disorder, real or not, I am going to walk the other way. I want to be clear here and say that none of us know the internal experience of others, and not everything manifests in the same way. Two people with the same disorder going on are going to be two different people still, and some people can mask very effectively and render the stuff they deal with nearly invisible. When I make the statement above about "had reason to be skeptical" the kind of thing I am talking about instances where the thing being claimed is like a sudden onset of thing that takes years to develop where someone just pulls a heel turn and starts changing their behavior to match symptoms or exhibits symptoms that are whatever Hollywood and TV hold up as part of a disorder when those things aren't really part of it and are made up.
i used to run one of these servers back when i was in highschool. I mainly made it for those with autism and adhd to exchange coping skills and stuff. at one point i kept getting asked to add more channels for other disabilities and illnesses which I happily did. after a while i got so sick of it. I had people faking everything from DID to having fake disorders that didn't even exist. the people on there were so vile and toxic they would bully people if they had even a slightly different opinion on anything. I deleted everything and I can proudly say I havent touched the app from hell in years.
We suffer from DID (Diagnosed when I was 25, and after many years going to psychiatrists), we have searched for communities on Discord that were safe and people who understand our disorder. I can assure you that to this day things like the one described by the user continue to happen. We have gone through several servers looking for people who were really patients with DID and we have come across many, many discord channels where people fake DID. Today we are in only 2 small channels where one is Spanish and the other is from the USA, which really has people who suffer from the disorder. But we have found a lot of garbage until we found our place. From servers protecting endogenic systems as authentic, to system hoping, many are overrun with kids. But today we are on two adult-only servers with authentic DID.
May I know what the server you mention here? We are facing the same problems as you and it is really frustrating and infuriating that these kids treat it like some sort of rpg.
Honestly, as someone who is diagnosed with OSDD (also an older teen), I'm constantly in denial. I go back and forth between "I'm so glad I'm not alone, after feeling alone for so long." and then "What if this isn't OSDD? What if it's something else, like Bipolar? Then I'd have to process this all again." and none of this denial makes sense, it's probably apart of how I process things, but god it sucks. I'm pretty confident it's OSDD (As of right now anyway) because there's nothing else I can relate to, especially as much as I can to this disorder. I'm also a little clueless about people faking. Mainly because even though I can relate to a bunch of experiences, I still have a more unique experience. And everyone else does too. Everyone experiences things differently, so I guess I'd probably brush it off to be their own experience. Anyway, these people are weird. I'm not even all that offended, just weirded out. All this does is make more and more people feel this is an "evil" disorder, and it's demonized a lot, so that's great. Thanks guys. The people in this video are valid though in my opinion.
I'm going through that right now, albeit with different disorders. I'm diagnosed with MDD and GAD, but I've been wondering lately if I might actually have Bipolar II and that's what's causing these symptoms. It's all so confusing and frustrating
I've been watching your videos lately, and they've provided me a lot of insight into the way I behaved while in college. I never claimed DID, as I never felt -I- was going between personalities, but I did consider myself multiple in the sense that I very sincerely believed I had relationships with people who did not exist. (Some were fictional characters, some were not. I suppose you could consider them OCs.) It was to the point that I very often, very vividly, felt I could physically interact with these people even though I knew they were not physically there. For example, there was a dog I believed followed me everywhere to protect me, and if I was sitting or laying down, and believed he was laying on my legs, I physically could not move them. I suffer from very severe depression and anxiety, as well as a lot of trauma, which at the time was 100% untreated so I was extremely unstable. I think all of this may have just been my brain's way of trying to mitigate some of the mental illness that was being caused by isolation and how poorly I was taking care of myself. I created a whole inner world where there were people who cared about me and wanted to take care of me because I was so separated from the actual real people who felt that way about me. I guess I can understand how teens or young adults who are dealing with other trauma or mental illness might end up "wanting" DID and choosing to fake it just to feel less alone? It doesn't make it right, and it does a lot of harm to people who actually have DID, but I guess I can understand how they'd get there.
i'm so proud that i never went through thinking i had DID, but i did have a ton of friends who were extremely convinced they had dsmp alters and stuff. it was so weird because one of them started actually seeing themself as one of the members. i never faked a disorder, but i did discover a coping mechanism through that group of people that actually has helped me a ton with living with my childhood trauma 2020-2022 was wild man
I have ADHD, ASD, PTSD and BPD and I'm in my late 30s and a trans woman. I am currently working with a Therapist (who specializes in disorders) to explore the possibility of having OSDD-1b before seeing a Psychiatrist for a diagnosis, however I'm approaching it by trying to rule it out. I have one altered personality state (I hesitate to call it an alter) that is very defined and comes out under specific triggers, but there is no amnesia and could be one of my other disorders that it stems from. The funny thing is, despite my own skepticism on why I couldn't have it and it must be something else, it was a couple of friends with diagnosed DID who witnessed my behavior shift who were the ones trying to convince me that I was showing signs of OSDD and should have it followed up. In one sense it would be a relief having that diagnosis, but also its an extremely terrifying thought at the same time. I know how debilitating DID/OSDD can be for those who actually have it, and the idea of claiming I have a DD when I might not feels like an insult to those who are confirmed to have one. I was self-diagnosed with ASD for years before I could afford a real diagnosis, and was quick to embrace my ADHD and BPD diagnoses as they explained so much about my behavior, but for me personally, DID/OSDD/UDDs are the one thing that should NOT be self-diagnosed - let alone advocated and and exploited for personal fame
just found your youtube channel and i love it!, also yes grooming, over sharing and ddlg is still actuve in the D.I.D discord community, i used to be in a server a few years back (about 4) when i was 14/15 and i was groomed on there by a 20yo. no i wasnt a faker my friend was i was just what they gave me a role called "ally/singlet"
I'm a little late to this video, but imma tell a slightly different story. There's this game called Pony Town (pls don't shame me for playing games like this 😭) and you can personalize your pony to make almost ANYTHING out of it. So people were making cosplays of their favorite characters, Roleplaying etc. And like around a year ago? People who were faking DID started to show up, adding the "SYSTEM" or "ME IRL" to their name when they had an anime character cosplay or something and honestly? I doubt that any of those have DID or anything like it for real. People would claim that they are idk Todoroki or some shit and that they DO NOT wish to see "doubles" of them - different cosplayers. I mean..seriously?
The doubles is bullshit but Introjects of fictional characters are very real and it’s the fakers that stigmatize them and make fictive-heavy systems get fake claimed allot when in reality a lot of fictive heavy systems are also autistic which due to hyperfixations make sence
I wonder if you've seen me tbh - I only have ME IRL above my ponysona just because I have fictional characters + OCs on there and I dont want people mistaking my ponysona for a diff character from a tv show or smth !!! Don't expect anyone with 'ME irl!' as a system or anything !!/nm/lh ^^
Back in 2021 i had to kick out someone from my server because they were an antivaxer. Looking back on them now tho, i find “i cant get the Alter that’s good at math to front so we can do homework” was kinda…mmm
I once got invited to a BPD server. a friend invited me as a way to educate myself since my partner as diagnosed BPD. lets just say it was one of the funniest/ saddest discord servers i ever been in
[TW; psychosis] Bizarrely, before I watched any videos on this whole 'faking DID" topic, I actually had a vision during psychosis about this. When I was at the mental hospital I hallucinated that they had a television in the waiting room and that they were showing me movies there (and trust me if you heard the rest you'd know why I figured out this was a hallucination by the end), and one of the movies was showing a teenage girl having a lot of emotional trouble at home, and then taking on some kind of second identity to "act crazy" and "act out", to do all kinds of crazy things that she felt like *she* herself couldn't or shouldn't do. By the end of it she admits she was "faking" it, but the moral of the story was that actually she did need help, and this was still just a manifestation of that. idk in hindsight I thought that was weirdly profound and coherent (compared to the rest of what I was experiencing lmao) and I actually think my brain was trying to tell me something there. Because it wasn't just psychosis, the psychosis very much happened because of that feeling of acting out and letting loose and letting go of all the rules like I wasn't myself, because I was so hurt emotionally. Don't get me wrong I didn't fake it ( I wish I could fake something like that I can't even imagine) but my brain was telling me it wasn't just random, it came as a manifestation of emotional hurt inside of me and I kind of love that I had this vision in the mental facility, teaching me something about my own mental state, as that was literally the first moment I realized (somewhat) that I was not in a mentally sound state of mind, after a month of full delusion thinking I was fine and good, and it wasn't due to the doctors telling me anything (I simply wasn't listening lol I didn't even know they were there mostly). Thanks brain.
I was in one of those DID servers on discord, not claiming to have DID myself but there to support a friend of mine who did(I don't speak with them anymore, and I'm uncertain on if they were faking or not since I was a very naive kid). I started having a really rough time around then, I was 15 and it was one of the lowest points in my life. I wasn't disassociating, but I was derealizing for the first time, and I was having these intense mood swings, as well as several other weird symptoms that I still don't have much of an explanation for. The people in that server started trying to convince me that I had DID too. I never ever said I did, but I started to worry that I might. Now, I'm 19, and I don't have DID(obviously). I've been diagnosed with general Anxiety and Depression, and a panic disorder, but I lost my health insurance after only having it for 9 months, when I moved out of my mom's house and never really was able to figure out anything else. Now I've got a therapist because of my current job, and she suspects that I have ASD and ADHD, but she can't diagnose me. I'm hoping to figure out what's going on one day, but it'll probably be a few years. Either way I've seen those DID servers and they are kinda.. *insane*.
my stance on this kinda thing, as a diagnosed system. before getting diagnosed i was self diagnosed, had very similar experiences to the fakers. the difference with me and fakers though, i did have the disorder. but when i would notice the symptoms of it, i would exagerate them because i was so afraid of being called fake, or being told that what i was experiencing wasnt real. whenever i would feel in a different mood other than my neutral mood, i exagerated it as an alter switching in. my DID symptoms didnt present heavily, my personal experience as a system, i dont really switch often. i dont experience many memory gaps or dissociation in my day to day life. i still do experience those things, but not as often as some others with DID. most of my memory gaps and dissociation are from my childhood. its very interesting knowing the perspective of the fakers, because i had similar experience, but also being on the other end of being a system. i think people who fake DID, ultimately are either confused about normal things teens experience, or are looking for answers as to what theyre experiencing that seems abnormal, or looking for attention and validation
back in the day, we used to call this "roleplay" with "Own Characters" - like, i had so many 'personalities' that i openly created to rp with and like...that's literally the same thing-
as someone who's professionally diagnosed. these kids just... don't understand WHY you do not want this. i've struggled to accept my system my entire life having one, to where therapists had to *break it to me* that i wasn't faking with the mounds of trauma i had proof happened but could not remember happening. i think a LOT of people who fake multiplicity are genuinely just scared and unwell but don't know what else to do aside mimic things they've seen online. a lot of people say fictives are invalid, i.e. alters from fictional sources. but i'm a grown adult who does not want to have this shitass disorder and i have fictives AND factives that four separate therapists and two psychiatrists have validated the existence of. it's not possible to control who or what you split. i wish it was.
This might be a little weird to say but I love the way you speak! The way you talk in your videos is the perfect mix of informative and engaging and it keeps me wanting to watch more of your videos!
I came across did when I was questioning why parts of my day were missing. I immediately knew it wasn’t that as I have others in my household who would have been able to see if I switched alters. It did help me still to understand dissociation. I did not self diagnose and went to a doctor and was later diagnosed with a different dissociative disorder. I am however middle aged and can understand teens wanting to fit in doing something like that as it’s a weird time for them but don’t think it’s helpful to make having a fake disorder your whole personality. However good for op admitting what it was like to be a faker.
I wish I could say I didn’t have a phase like this, but like the first person I did and it was a symptom of something else larger (autism) All I knew was that I did not feel like I quite fit in. Therefore I came to the logical conclusion that I was secretly not a human and my mom was going to reveal this secret to me on my 13th birthday and that secret was that I was a werewolf. I’m not joking I was solidly convinced. 13th birthday passed and nothing happened so I stopped believing it cause that was supposed to serve as my proof. So then I thought I was a psychopath or a sociopath since I don’t necessarily fully understand emotions right? (I actually can notice emotions in others, but the trouble is identifying my own so whenever I’d think of it using myself as an example I’d conclude I don’t have much empathy when really I notice someone else is slightly upset extremely easily. Noticing that I’m upset and why however is an issue for me.)
I have been in therapy for DID since I was 14 (I am now 24) and the community was truly different back then, albeit not much better. However, I had no idea about system accountability, nor did I have any coping mechanisms, so there were alot of very toxic alters that I thought I didn't need to take responsibility for. We did alot of damage to those around us as a teenager and through therapy, it improved immensely. I remember at the time, all the DID youtubers I followed eventually came out about not having DID and I felt very alone. Now, because of how it is presented online, I will constantly fear those I tell about it thinking I am faking. I think that's the problem. It really affects those who ACTUALLY have DID, and is so detrimental.
I used to think I had D.I.D because I would act like all these different personalities and then i figured out that I’m coping with my trauma by copying people and fictional characters because I trust or like them. So I don’t have D.I.D I just don’t have a fully set personality, it’s just a jumble of me copying others and turns out my disassociation episodes is just derealization and depersonalization episodes.
I know you mainly focus on DID but could you do a video on the people faking physical disabilities and the trans abled community on Tumblr? I love ur videos and would love to hear your take on this
I’m sorry I’m going to be this person but validity is “vuh-lid-it-e” phonetically, not “vid-al-it-e” ETA: genuinely not trying to be rude! I enjoy your videos, just an English nerd lol
All of these Discord stories are CRAZY. I'm only regularly active in a few small servers to do with sports/a few other fandoms and I'm lucky to have made genuine connections over the platform and not this shit
back when i was 14, i was in a discord server that was meant for anime fans to talk about their favourite shows and characters and you could essentially make friends based on your interests and whatnot i had befriended a 19 year old moderator called "Niv" who claimed to have autism, adhd, DID, tourettes and bpd, and they would spend hours in the vent channels with me ALONE sending paragraphs upon paragraphs detailing very graphic things that had happened to them as a child, such as SA and abuse they would also send extensive messages in my dm's about how they wanted to unalive themself because i wouldn't respond fast enough to their vent messages. i was friends with this person for almost a full year. they would call me and "switch" alters, some of which would verbally berate me until i was crying, which they would then "switch" and start apologising and blaming themself and threatening to hurt themself, where i would have to talk them down from it it wasn't until they faked their own suicide that i finally cut ties with them because i couldn't handle sleeping at 6am and waking up at 10am to message them around the clock to keep them from harming themself i was 14 and they were 19. i still wish i hadn't joined that discord server
Ive seen so many (very extremely obvious) fakers on discord, the problem is the moment you try to call em out the ENTIRE server defends them and literally muted me 😭
i know a lot of my friends on discord fake it. one kf my exes did to and theyre 15, theyre datibf a 10 yr old now and theyre vaguely manipulative and creepy
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Small reminder... You can have online personalitys, no need to fake DID. These can be acting as your artistic OC's or your cosplay OC's!!
My abusive ex girlfriend would fake this shit on me and use whatever toxic alters at disposal to make life hell.
Now I cant stand any of these people.
I'm sorry to hear that you went through such a difficult experience with your ex-girlfriend. Dealing with abuse and manipulation is incredibly challenging, I can't imagine someone blaming on a disorder that they don't have
Yeah sorry but it sounds like calling here a *fake* is projection of your own abusive behavor to not stop and listen
I had an IRL friend a couple years ago, back in high school when we were around 14-15 who claimed to have DID along with a whole lot of other things. I first made friends with them because I found out that we both enjoyed watching the Dream SMP, and whilst I was a fairly casual fan who stayed well away from fandom spaces (read: Twitter) they were very much a 'Dream Stan'. They claimed to have pretty much the entire cast as their 'alters', and would play up stereotypes of the RUclipsrs whenever that certain alter fronted.
It was exhausting and I was in a constant state of trying not to piss them off or freak them out, they were Very loud and had a bit of an obsession with me. I really wanted to help them, because they obviously were not very well, but also I was in an awful place at the time and definitely not in a place where I could help them. They crossed their lies constantly and twisted the truth in ways that make me still paranoid of things to this day. They talked about things that were immensely triggering and trauma dumped out of the blue. They were not very well but still a pretty awful person.
I did introduce them to a small circle of online friends in a Discord server at one point, and they seemed to use their supposed mental illness to entertain the people on the server and draw attention to themself, pulling alters out of their ass like they were some kind of puppet show, alters argueing with each other or even dating each other.
They managed to cause some kind of controversy and I lost contact with all of the people on that Discord server after becoming good friends with them. They isolated me from my friends and I felt bad so I spent more time with them, because they didn't have anyone else to turn to.
Eventually, I called them out on a lie about a health issue, which they deflected and blamed on a persecutor alter, and I finally lost my temper - something that never happens generally - and shouted at them on the school bus XD
Dude, this person was really something. I really did want to find a way to help them, and we reconnected several times, and whilst they may be past faking DID, I did hear that they had found something new to fake, so yeah. The last I saw of them was one time where they took photos of me when I was eating my lunch lmao
Hope that they have been removed from whatever the hell was going on at home, and found somewhere where they don't have to constantly put their illness on display for any shred of attention.
I'm sorry you dealt with that. It's rough out there and people feel the need to take the focus from those who need it. It's affected mine, yours, and others' lives immensely. I hope one day it'll stop.
I think the validation is the internet. It’s just how it works. People feel lonely, they get online for attention and validation; Bing bang boom, ADDICTED.
I also think this is why some group of kids nowadays grow up and be a big narcisissts.
@@raytheprofessorthis!! especially because narcissists typically are made from their environment
I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder depressive type in my teens. My moms side of the family has a history of it, my grammas dad and my moms brother. I guess its just the fucked up genes i inherited.
My parents suspected something was wrong with me for years but at the time mental health was not like it is today.
In elementary school it was hard to make friends because everyone i talked to i believed hated me
I thought the whole was against me, telling me i was an idiot calling me names and avoiding me because i was different.
This would turn into actually bullying the worse my symptoms got. People would talk about me as if i was a school shooter or a a mentally disturbed creep that would end up in prison. I got called the r-slur, a rumor started that i was a slut and a drug addict.
I'd severe tremors in my hands because of all the different medications i was taking. I was prescribed lithium at one point in my early years of highschool which caused me to have uncontrolled piss problems.
I skipped school alot because my anxiety got so bad i feared everyone could hear my thoughts & were judging me for my sexuality and when i heard the voices of god telling me i was going to hell i became a closeted homophobe and so scared of everyone. Religious delusions told me my family is going to hell if i didnt participate in 'sacrifices' (s/h & putting myself in uncomfortable unhealthy situations)
I stopped speaking & avoided everyone i cared for, my grades suffered, i thought people were following me, hallucinated monsters stalking me & had sudden delusions about who i was & what was happening to me.
I belived was a witch named kirra from a past life that died from drowning only to be reincarnated by god as a second chance to prove i deserved heaven. I believed i had been kidnapped from my real family, my dad & brother molested me & my parents were trying to kill me by poisoning my food. I stopped eating, became & paranoid & distrustful. I stopped taking showers & brushing my teeth. I heard voices telling me to kill & hurt people, that i had to hurt my self or else.
I believed i had cancer, that my skin was infested with maggots & parts of my body were falling off. I couldnt get put of bed because i was so depressed my life wasnt worth living, i belived deserved hell & this was my punishment, all my problems were my fault & i didnt deserve happiness. Voices would tell me that everyday and i was so convinced.
I was hospitalized several times for self harm depression and talk about killing myself. The highshool staff didnt take me seriously until i tried killing myself in the class. I grabbed the teachers scissors & ran out to the high way hoping to jump in front of a car. I tried cutting parts of my body off (boobs, stomach, arm fat) police had to get me & i dropped out of school to be homeschooled while seeking mental help.
When i came back my symptoms got better but i was so insecure & lost a majority of my personality & interests. Nothing really mattered.
None of my friends liked me & the very few who still stuck around acted as if i was just some friend of a friend they knew. I wasn't included in the group, i got left out.
When i tried opening up about what i was going through i lost one friend because he believed i was faking it for attention & he was insulted because he thought i was lying about my depression, cuz he had depression and to him i was making excuses to defend my actions.
NOW THIS IS WHY I TAKE FAKING MENTAL DISORDERS SERIOUSLY.
It WONT make you cute or quirky, it WILL get you attention but never the good kind. Faking always comes back to bite you in the as & eventually it gets worse
I lost everything. I fought so hard to get it back. I dont struggle like i used to thanks to getting help, i still have the voices from time & its still hard to talk about because judgment & embarrassed ment but im open about it publicly because im a survivor & i want to stand for those like me who are struggling & deserve their voices to be heard.
Faking is a the most insulting slap in the face. Some of us arent as lucky, alot of us end up dead or in prison. Even with all the advocacy and awareness thats improved, NO ONE EVER TAKES US SERIOUSLY.
IF A MENTAL DISORDER IS SOMETHING YOU REALLY REALLY WANT , EXPECT THE SAME FUCKING THING TO APPLY.
Careful what you wish for.
And 2 everyone in the comments, you are so worthy of help! You deserve to be heard
Take care xx
Dang bro, I'm sorry for what you went through and I'm glad you're working through it, You got this 👍
Thank you for being so open about this. That sounds like a lot to go through and I’m glad you’re still here.
I typed “cringe” in a general chat in “neurodivergent tea party” server and it the mods felt it was an attack and thought I was a troll cuz I wasn’t comfortable telling them my diagnosis with roles.
They called me a faker. Yet they were roleplaying as hazbin hotel bots and said they were “alters”.
They were mad I asked for diagnosis papers yet tried to harass me into airing mine out.
I’m diagnosed adhd, mdd, gad, and cptsd.
SMH 😂
lol you’re amazing tbh
Dude I think i was in that server before •-•
Yeah you were most likely being a ablist troll to these people.
yeah, I joined one after I got diagnosed out of curiosity. first red flag was that it was a bunch of kids, and I do NOT join/host discord servers with minors. But I actually found one for adults, and it was just as bad!! I think I posted in that server once or twice before slowly backing away and realizing that stuff isn't for me. however, I truly wish discord had some way of keeping adults out of minor spaces and vice versa at least the option to do so. I don't think it's healthy to have adults brainwashing these kids (or worse)
From my experience there is absolutely 0 trustworthy communities in discord related to DID or OSDD, every time ive tried joining one i was so uncomfortable and left asap, most are either full of endos, misinformation or the weirdest things possible
@@bittersweeeet_I will never understand endos. Most of the people that call themselves systems are endos. It just doesn’t make any sense. Most are minors but I don’t wanna fake claim anyone.
I will never understand endos-
@@SuperCoolPersonCalledLillith what are endos? I'm assuming you're not talking about endometriosis lmao
@@autumnsprite endogenic systems- systems formed without trauma. It doesn’t make any sense to me:p
@@SuperCoolPersonCalledLillith isn't trauma the entire reason that DID is formed 😭
Great Channel by the Way. Love that still people advocating to protect the DID community from Fakers.
THANK YOU!!!!! 🥰
These videos always make me question if I'm faking at the start, but then I hear the stories and realise that I'm not, I am medically diagnosed, not with did, but cptsd resulting in multiple personality states, and it's good having these videos to remind me that I am valid, and not faking, it's always a major stresser for me and other systems I know but thanks for the reminder that we aren't like these fakers, we are valid and we feel safe here. ❤
Also relatable hating summer, 😅
If you don't know if your faking or not....its not real, focus on getting in shape physically and I swear to you, your opinion will change
8:58 NOT DISSOCIADID PRETENDING TO BE MIRANDA SINGS
I don’t get it. Dissociadid is a real system?
@@Aiden_LunarShe’s not, research it
@@AvilioAmici oh my b- she seemed real…
@@AvilioAmici honestly people have me questioning if did is a real disorder
@@Aiden_LunarIt is.
I was glad to see this. I have met a number of people that claim to have disorders where I had reason to be pretty skeptical. I have bipolar 1, and when I hear people talk about this stuff sometimes, its almost like hearing people talk about fantasy football or something. Like it's cute to have a disorder or that everyone has to bend over backwards to put their symptoms on a pedestal so that nothing is a problem for them. Meanwhile, my disorder destroyed my life before it was diagnosed and medicated and I came very close to suicide numerous times and developed a years long drinking problem. It's not cute and it pisses me off when people pretend or pick out one symptom of many or worse, whatever tv/movie representation of said disorder and are like "yep, I sure have that, haha."
I'm not saying that people can't diagnose accurately, but for fuck's sake, it's not hard to find reputable sources and look at what other things could be causing your problems before jumping to a conclusion based on that twitter thread you found the other day. When you do deal with something like this, you spend your whole life being conscious of how it effects you and others, especially those you care about. You don't use it as an excuse for abusive behavior, you don’t want to make it the main thing you talk about all the time and you don't not treat it. When I run into people that brag about having a disorder, real or not, I am going to walk the other way.
I want to be clear here and say that none of us know the internal experience of others, and not everything manifests in the same way. Two people with the same disorder going on are going to be two different people still, and some people can mask very effectively and render the stuff they deal with nearly invisible. When I make the statement above about "had reason to be skeptical" the kind of thing I am talking about instances where the thing being claimed is like a sudden onset of thing that takes years to develop where someone just pulls a heel turn and starts changing their behavior to match symptoms or exhibits symptoms that are whatever Hollywood and TV hold up as part of a disorder when those things aren't really part of it and are made up.
i used to run one of these servers back when i was in highschool. I mainly made it for those with autism and adhd to exchange coping skills and stuff. at one point i kept getting asked to add more channels for other disabilities and illnesses which I happily did. after a while i got so sick of it. I had people faking everything from DID to having fake disorders that didn't even exist. the people on there were so vile and toxic they would bully people if they had even a slightly different opinion on anything. I deleted everything and I can proudly say I havent touched the app from hell in years.
This is what being chronically online does to kids.
We suffer from DID (Diagnosed when I was 25, and after many years going to psychiatrists), we have searched for communities on Discord that were safe and people who understand our disorder. I can assure you that to this day things like the one described by the user continue to happen. We have gone through several servers looking for people who were really patients with DID and we have come across many, many discord channels where people fake DID. Today we are in only 2 small channels where one is Spanish and the other is from the USA, which really has people who suffer from the disorder. But we have found a lot of garbage until we found our place. From servers protecting endogenic systems as authentic, to system hoping, many are overrun with kids. But today we are on two adult-only servers with authentic DID.
May I know what the server you mention here? We are facing the same problems as you and it is really frustrating and infuriating that these kids treat it like some sort of rpg.
Would prefer the USA server since we can't speak spanish.
@@raytheprofessor Reverie In DID it's called.
@@MrFloydFlow We appreciate you highlighting our server.
@@TheSlayerAira Ya Welcome 😀😀
Honestly, as someone who is diagnosed with OSDD (also an older teen), I'm constantly in denial. I go back and forth between "I'm so glad I'm not alone, after feeling alone for so long." and then "What if this isn't OSDD? What if it's something else, like Bipolar? Then I'd have to process this all again." and none of this denial makes sense, it's probably apart of how I process things, but god it sucks. I'm pretty confident it's OSDD (As of right now anyway) because there's nothing else I can relate to, especially as much as I can to this disorder.
I'm also a little clueless about people faking. Mainly because even though I can relate to a bunch of experiences, I still have a more unique experience. And everyone else does too. Everyone experiences things differently, so I guess I'd probably brush it off to be their own experience.
Anyway, these people are weird. I'm not even all that offended, just weirded out. All this does is make more and more people feel this is an "evil" disorder, and it's demonized a lot, so that's great. Thanks guys. The people in this video are valid though in my opinion.
I'm going through that right now, albeit with different disorders. I'm diagnosed with MDD and GAD, but I've been wondering lately if I might actually have Bipolar II and that's what's causing these symptoms. It's all so confusing and frustrating
Video quality great as always!!! Thanks for the awareness
I've been watching your videos lately, and they've provided me a lot of insight into the way I behaved while in college.
I never claimed DID, as I never felt -I- was going between personalities, but I did consider myself multiple in the sense that I very sincerely believed I had relationships with people who did not exist. (Some were fictional characters, some were not. I suppose you could consider them OCs.) It was to the point that I very often, very vividly, felt I could physically interact with these people even though I knew they were not physically there. For example, there was a dog I believed followed me everywhere to protect me, and if I was sitting or laying down, and believed he was laying on my legs, I physically could not move them.
I suffer from very severe depression and anxiety, as well as a lot of trauma, which at the time was 100% untreated so I was extremely unstable. I think all of this may have just been my brain's way of trying to mitigate some of the mental illness that was being caused by isolation and how poorly I was taking care of myself. I created a whole inner world where there were people who cared about me and wanted to take care of me because I was so separated from the actual real people who felt that way about me.
I guess I can understand how teens or young adults who are dealing with other trauma or mental illness might end up "wanting" DID and choosing to fake it just to feel less alone? It doesn't make it right, and it does a lot of harm to people who actually have DID, but I guess I can understand how they'd get there.
i'm so proud that i never went through thinking i had DID, but i did have a ton of friends who were extremely convinced they had dsmp alters and stuff. it was so weird because one of them started actually seeing themself as one of the members.
i never faked a disorder, but i did discover a coping mechanism through that group of people that actually has helped me a ton with living with my childhood trauma
2020-2022 was wild man
I have ADHD, ASD, PTSD and BPD and I'm in my late 30s and a trans woman. I am currently working with a Therapist (who specializes in disorders) to explore the possibility of having OSDD-1b before seeing a Psychiatrist for a diagnosis, however I'm approaching it by trying to rule it out. I have one altered personality state (I hesitate to call it an alter) that is very defined and comes out under specific triggers, but there is no amnesia and could be one of my other disorders that it stems from. The funny thing is, despite my own skepticism on why I couldn't have it and it must be something else, it was a couple of friends with diagnosed DID who witnessed my behavior shift who were the ones trying to convince me that I was showing signs of OSDD and should have it followed up.
In one sense it would be a relief having that diagnosis, but also its an extremely terrifying thought at the same time. I know how debilitating DID/OSDD can be for those who actually have it, and the idea of claiming I have a DD when I might not feels like an insult to those who are confirmed to have one. I was self-diagnosed with ASD for years before I could afford a real diagnosis, and was quick to embrace my ADHD and BPD diagnoses as they explained so much about my behavior, but for me personally, DID/OSDD/UDDs are the one thing that should NOT be self-diagnosed - let alone advocated and and exploited for personal fame
for the one altered personality, as someone with bpd i have something similar! iirc it's one of the symptoms
just found your youtube channel and i love it!, also yes grooming, over sharing and ddlg is still actuve in the D.I.D discord community, i used to be in a server a few years back (about 4) when i was 14/15 and i was groomed on there by a 20yo. no i wasnt a faker my friend was i was just what they gave me a role called "ally/singlet"
I'm a little late to this video, but imma tell a slightly different story. There's this game called Pony Town (pls don't shame me for playing games like this 😭) and you can personalize your pony to make almost ANYTHING out of it. So people were making cosplays of their favorite characters, Roleplaying etc. And like around a year ago? People who were faking DID started to show up, adding the "SYSTEM" or "ME IRL" to their name when they had an anime character cosplay or something and honestly? I doubt that any of those have DID or anything like it for real. People would claim that they are idk Todoroki or some shit and that they DO NOT wish to see "doubles" of them - different cosplayers. I mean..seriously?
The doubles is bullshit but Introjects of fictional characters are very real and it’s the fakers that stigmatize them and make fictive-heavy systems get fake claimed allot when in reality a lot of fictive heavy systems are also autistic which due to hyperfixations make sence
I wonder if you've seen me tbh - I only have ME IRL above my ponysona just because I have fictional characters + OCs on there and I dont want people mistaking my ponysona for a diff character from a tv show or smth !!! Don't expect anyone with 'ME irl!' as a system or anything !!/nm/lh ^^
Back in 2021 i had to kick out someone from my server because they were an antivaxer. Looking back on them now tho, i find “i cant get the Alter that’s good at math to front so we can do homework” was kinda…mmm
I once got invited to a BPD server. a friend invited me as a way to educate myself since my partner as diagnosed BPD. lets just say it was one of the funniest/ saddest discord servers i ever been in
[TW; psychosis]
Bizarrely, before I watched any videos on this whole 'faking DID" topic, I actually had a vision during psychosis about this. When I was at the mental hospital I hallucinated that they had a television in the waiting room and that they were showing me movies there (and trust me if you heard the rest you'd know why I figured out this was a hallucination by the end), and one of the movies was showing a teenage girl having a lot of emotional trouble at home, and then taking on some kind of second identity to "act crazy" and "act out", to do all kinds of crazy things that she felt like *she* herself couldn't or shouldn't do. By the end of it she admits she was "faking" it, but the moral of the story was that actually she did need help, and this was still just a manifestation of that. idk in hindsight I thought that was weirdly profound and coherent (compared to the rest of what I was experiencing lmao) and I actually think my brain was trying to tell me something there. Because it wasn't just psychosis, the psychosis very much happened because of that feeling of acting out and letting loose and letting go of all the rules like I wasn't myself, because I was so hurt emotionally. Don't get me wrong I didn't fake it ( I wish I could fake something like that I can't even imagine) but my brain was telling me it wasn't just random, it came as a manifestation of emotional hurt inside of me and I kind of love that I had this vision in the mental facility, teaching me something about my own mental state, as that was literally the first moment I realized (somewhat) that I was not in a mentally sound state of mind, after a month of full delusion thinking I was fine and good, and it wasn't due to the doctors telling me anything (I simply wasn't listening lol I didn't even know they were there mostly). Thanks brain.
I was in one of those DID servers on discord, not claiming to have DID myself but there to support a friend of mine who did(I don't speak with them anymore, and I'm uncertain on if they were faking or not since I was a very naive kid). I started having a really rough time around then, I was 15 and it was one of the lowest points in my life. I wasn't disassociating, but I was derealizing for the first time, and I was having these intense mood swings, as well as several other weird symptoms that I still don't have much of an explanation for. The people in that server started trying to convince me that I had DID too. I never ever said I did, but I started to worry that I might.
Now, I'm 19, and I don't have DID(obviously). I've been diagnosed with general Anxiety and Depression, and a panic disorder, but I lost my health insurance after only having it for 9 months, when I moved out of my mom's house and never really was able to figure out anything else. Now I've got a therapist because of my current job, and she suspects that I have ASD and ADHD, but she can't diagnose me. I'm hoping to figure out what's going on one day, but it'll probably be a few years. Either way I've seen those DID servers and they are kinda.. *insane*.
my stance on this kinda thing, as a diagnosed system. before getting diagnosed i was self diagnosed, had very similar experiences to the fakers. the difference with me and fakers though, i did have the disorder. but when i would notice the symptoms of it, i would exagerate them because i was so afraid of being called fake, or being told that what i was experiencing wasnt real. whenever i would feel in a different mood other than my neutral mood, i exagerated it as an alter switching in. my DID symptoms didnt present heavily, my personal experience as a system, i dont really switch often. i dont experience many memory gaps or dissociation in my day to day life. i still do experience those things, but not as often as some others with DID. most of my memory gaps and dissociation are from my childhood. its very interesting knowing the perspective of the fakers, because i had similar experience, but also being on the other end of being a system. i think people who fake DID, ultimately are either confused about normal things teens experience, or are looking for answers as to what theyre experiencing that seems abnormal, or looking for attention and validation
back in the day, we used to call this "roleplay" with "Own Characters" - like, i had so many 'personalities' that i openly created to rp with and like...that's literally the same thing-
as someone who's professionally diagnosed. these kids just... don't understand WHY you do not want this. i've struggled to accept my system my entire life having one, to where therapists had to *break it to me* that i wasn't faking with the mounds of trauma i had proof happened but could not remember happening. i think a LOT of people who fake multiplicity are genuinely just scared and unwell but don't know what else to do aside mimic things they've seen online.
a lot of people say fictives are invalid, i.e. alters from fictional sources. but i'm a grown adult who does not want to have this shitass disorder and i have fictives AND factives that four separate therapists and two psychiatrists have validated the existence of. it's not possible to control who or what you split. i wish it was.
This might be a little weird to say but I love the way you speak! The way you talk in your videos is the perfect mix of informative and engaging and it keeps me wanting to watch more of your videos!
Hey, thank you so much!!
I came across did when I was questioning why parts of my day were missing. I immediately knew it wasn’t that as I have others in my household who would have been able to see if I switched alters. It did help me still to understand dissociation. I did not self diagnose and went to a doctor and was later diagnosed with a different dissociative disorder. I am however middle aged and can understand teens wanting to fit in doing something like that as it’s a weird time for them but don’t think it’s helpful to make having a fake disorder your whole personality. However good for op admitting what it was like to be a faker.
* COMMENTING FOR ALGORITHM GODSSSS *
THANK YOU 😍😍
I wish I could say I didn’t have a phase like this, but like the first person I did and it was a symptom of something else larger (autism) All I knew was that I did not feel like I quite fit in. Therefore I came to the logical conclusion that I was secretly not a human and my mom was going to reveal this secret to me on my 13th birthday and that secret was that I was a werewolf.
I’m not joking I was solidly convinced.
13th birthday passed and nothing happened so I stopped believing it cause that was supposed to serve as my proof.
So then I thought I was a psychopath or a sociopath since I don’t necessarily fully understand emotions right? (I actually can notice emotions in others, but the trouble is identifying my own so whenever I’d think of it using myself as an example I’d conclude I don’t have much empathy when really I notice someone else is slightly upset extremely easily. Noticing that I’m upset and why however is an issue for me.)
I have been in therapy for DID since I was 14 (I am now 24) and the community was truly different back then, albeit not much better. However, I had no idea about system accountability, nor did I have any coping mechanisms, so there were alot of very toxic alters that I thought I didn't need to take responsibility for. We did alot of damage to those around us as a teenager and through therapy, it improved immensely. I remember at the time, all the DID youtubers I followed eventually came out about not having DID and I felt very alone. Now, because of how it is presented online, I will constantly fear those I tell about it thinking I am faking. I think that's the problem. It really affects those who ACTUALLY have DID, and is so detrimental.
Summer but this Texas heat this year has been brutal!
That’s why fake disorder compilations upset me it’s just a way to bully traumatized/ mentally ill children :/
Becoming an adult and looking back on this (public record) must be very difficult and embarrassing
I used to think I had D.I.D because I would act like all these different personalities and then i figured out that I’m coping with my trauma by copying people and fictional characters because I trust or like them. So I don’t have D.I.D I just don’t have a fully set personality, it’s just a jumble of me copying others and turns out my disassociation episodes is just derealization and depersonalization episodes.
Genuine question: What does roleplay in this context mean? Acting out roles/scenarios? RPGs (DnD, CoC, Pathfinder, Shadowrun, etc?)
I know you mainly focus on DID but could you do a video on the people faking physical disabilities and the trans abled community on Tumblr? I love ur videos and would love to hear your take on this
I’m sorry I’m going to be this person but validity is “vuh-lid-it-e” phonetically, not “vid-al-it-e”
ETA: genuinely not trying to be rude! I enjoy your videos, just an English nerd lol
Fall all the way, least favorite is still summer
All of these Discord stories are CRAZY. I'm only regularly active in a few small servers to do with sports/a few other fandoms and I'm lucky to have made genuine connections over the platform and not this shit
back when i was 14, i was in a discord server that was meant for anime fans to talk about their favourite shows and characters and you could essentially make friends based on your interests and whatnot
i had befriended a 19 year old moderator called "Niv" who claimed to have autism, adhd, DID, tourettes and bpd, and they would spend hours in the vent channels with me ALONE sending paragraphs upon paragraphs detailing very graphic things that had happened to them as a child, such as SA and abuse
they would also send extensive messages in my dm's about how they wanted to unalive themself because i wouldn't respond fast enough to their vent messages. i was friends with this person for almost a full year.
they would call me and "switch" alters, some of which would verbally berate me until i was crying, which they would then "switch" and start apologising and blaming themself and threatening to hurt themself, where i would have to talk them down from it
it wasn't until they faked their own suicide that i finally cut ties with them because i couldn't handle sleeping at 6am and waking up at 10am to message them around the clock to keep them from harming themself
i was 14 and they were 19.
i still wish i hadn't joined that discord server
Ive seen so many (very extremely obvious) fakers on discord, the problem is the moment you try to call em out the ENTIRE server defends them and literally muted me 😭
God…I had an ex faking did to cheat on his girlfriend’s….and oh yeah…..discord was a huge thing for him….
i know a lot of my friends on discord fake it. one kf my exes did to and theyre 15, theyre datibf a 10 yr old now and theyre vaguely manipulative and creepy
they should NOT be dating a 10 year old...Is there any eay you can tell that kids parent 😢
Japan actually has name for this condition. Chuunibyo.
Winter
Qhy there wqs tasuminfrom enstars there 😂😂
Fathers, stay in your children’s lives
Fall and winter
🥭
Get second opinions on diagnosis. Doctors want you to have something they can prescribe meds for ===$$$.
I second this!
You're kind of cute but you seem like someone that might get offended if I tell you that