I just went through such a narcissistic storm and stood my ground. After discarding me and going back to his ex wife he tried for four month with all means to get me to accept just being an affair and to cater to his needs on his terms. He blew up my phone, sent endless messages, pulled on my heartstrings and pushed every button. He even threated with suicide. I argued, I explained, I talked many hours with him. In vain. So I blocked him. This was the hardest thing I have ever done and I still cry for him every day. But I love me more than I love him. I can't be his toy, doormat, shoulder to cry on, side kick, ... I told him I have had enough. Silence now for one month.
2:20 "..and therefore they don't go to therapy, are NOT open to a mutually satisfying compromise in resolving a problem." I don't even think that the "therapy" should be a requirement for this. This is only common sense. If they DON'T have the RESPECT to do that by themselves, you GO WHEN you know! Yet you say it PERFECTLY, Dr Ross, here. I'm just covering other situations where therapy should not even be required. Great take, nevertheless, Dr Ross! (I'm just covering all angles so that people don't get STUCK like I used to be.)
I wouldn't feel safe telling him I don't feel safe with him. I probably need to leave quietly without openly setting "boundaries." I think that's kinda what you mean by not engaging.
If you cause a narcissist injury by calling them out every time they hoover,the hoovers will stop.Challenge the false self,tell them they are mean ,bad people.I have done this with my brother and father and now i'm training my mother.What do you think of this Mr. Rosenburg?Also want to tell you that you've been helping me for years and thank you.
If anyone can give me an insight to what the heck I just experienced this year I would be greateful. I had a mentor who seemed like he was on my side but it turned out he had an agenda was never really listening to the struggles I was facing (Trying to immigrate to Japan from a third world country) I cut contact with him after he ran his mouth online talking about how "I don't take action" and summed up one of the most difficult years of my life. I told him that he was given personal information that I never should have opened up to him about. He replied with some gaslighting crap about "tough love". I went no-contact and simply stopped responding. (I did not block him). He tries to phone me several months later, I missed his call so I sent a short message that I had received his call. Nothing else.Then I believe he blocked me 🤷🏾♂️ Either way good riddance
I had a male friend, that I kind of looked up too, who did the same thing to me recently. I just went silently NO CONTACT a few days ago. They were sneaking in passive-aggressive comments about how I supposedly should be doing things and be trying to say it both ways. As the band Boston sang, "Don't Look Back"! I'm FED UP and done with that too
@@CharlesBukowski-m1o Do the passive aggressive comments usually come through when you start making progress on something? Maybe its just paranoia but I feel like some people are only friends with you when you are down, the second you start persuing your goals without compromise. That's when they their bs starts.
A simple yet powerful technique. “Observe, don’t absorb” helped me regain my life and my sanity 5 years ago. Thank you. ❤
I just went through such a narcissistic storm and stood my ground. After discarding me and going back to his ex wife he tried for four month with all means to get me to accept just being an affair and to cater to his needs on his terms. He blew up my phone, sent endless messages, pulled on my heartstrings and pushed every button. He even threated with suicide.
I argued, I explained, I talked many hours with him. In vain. So I blocked him. This was the hardest thing I have ever done and I still cry for him every day.
But I love me more than I love him. I can't be his toy, doormat, shoulder to cry on, side kick, ...
I told him I have had enough.
Silence now for one month.
2:20 "..and therefore they don't go to therapy, are NOT open to a mutually satisfying compromise in resolving a problem." I don't even think that the "therapy" should be a requirement for this. This is only common sense. If they DON'T have the RESPECT to do that by themselves, you GO WHEN you know!
Yet you say it PERFECTLY, Dr Ross, here. I'm just covering other situations where therapy should not even be required. Great take, nevertheless, Dr Ross! (I'm just covering all angles so that people don't get STUCK like I used to be.)
Most awesome doctor got every book buying it now. Hank you
I wouldn't feel safe telling him I don't feel safe with him. I probably need to leave quietly without openly setting "boundaries." I think that's kinda what you mean by not engaging.
Thanks for this.
Im pretty sure i was here earlier.
If you cause a narcissist injury by calling them out every time they hoover,the hoovers will stop.Challenge the false self,tell them they are mean ,bad people.I have done this with my brother and father and now i'm training my mother.What do you think of this Mr. Rosenburg?Also want to tell you that you've been helping me for years and thank you.
how about "self love sufficient" as opposed to 'self love abundant' - the abundant word sounds rather narcissistic itself 🙂
As long as you're not that SNOWFLAKE who gets offended about normal language... You know what I mean?
Valuable due to self love?
Still trying to get rid of one after 3 years..
If anyone can give me an insight to what the heck I just experienced this year I would be greateful.
I had a mentor who seemed like he was on my side but it turned out he had an agenda was never really listening to the struggles I was facing (Trying to immigrate to Japan from a third world country)
I cut contact with him after he ran his mouth online talking about how "I don't take action" and summed up one of the most difficult years of my life.
I told him that he was given personal information that I never should have opened up to him about. He replied with some gaslighting crap about "tough love".
I went no-contact and simply stopped responding. (I did not block him).
He tries to phone me several months later, I missed his call so I sent a short message that I had received his call. Nothing else.Then I believe he blocked me 🤷🏾♂️
Either way good riddance
I had a male friend, that I kind of looked up too, who did the same thing to me recently. I just went silently NO CONTACT a few days ago. They were sneaking in passive-aggressive comments about how I supposedly should be doing things and be trying to say it both ways. As the band Boston sang, "Don't Look Back"! I'm FED UP and done with that too
@@CharlesBukowski-m1o Do the passive aggressive comments usually come through when you start making progress on something? Maybe its just paranoia but I feel like some people are only friends with you when you are down, the second you start persuing your goals without compromise. That's when they their bs starts.