MY HUSBAND WAS NOT MY SPEC....and VICE VERSA || The tea on attraction in a relationship
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- Опубликовано: 19 авг 2024
- Attraction issues is one of the most common in romantic relationships; In today's video, my darling husband revealed a vulnerable part of him just to drive the message home. I hope this helps and blesses someone. xoxo.
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the LORD shall be praised”
“It is in God I live, I move and I have my being”
Let's connect via social media:
Instagram: @tolulope_solutions : / tolulope_solutions
Snapchat : tolu-solutions
For collaborations: tolulopesolutions@gmail.com
I can relate with your story. My fiance had earlier pursued me for years but I never gave him a chance because I felt he was too nice and I thought I wasn't physically attracted to him. I later realized that the reason I didn't like his "too nice" personality was because I had a warped perception of love and didn't love myself or know how I deserved to be loved, and therefore liked to fall for the "bad guys"🤦♀️.
Fast forward to 2018, I fell in love with myself, my fiance pursued me again and finally my eyes began to open to appreciate the way he treated me and physical attraction followed as well. I strongly believe/agree that if we discover our values and give ourselves the opportunity to discover them in another person, physical attraction will most likely follow.
P.S: My fiance is actually handsome and 8 inches taller than I am so sometimes, the case doesn't always involve a person who doesn't even fit our physical ideas of "spec", just wrong thinking. Thank God for His word and the power it has to renew our minds 🙌.
Lovely!
Nice
My lovely people😍😍😍😍
Same thing happened to me. Thank God I was yielded to the Holy Spirit.
However, I did not say 'Yes' until I had accepted all of who my husband was/is, even though God told me He was my husband.
Best decision of my life. I had 10 things on my list, he din't meet one of it and after marriage, I discovered over 30 beautiful things added to my list. God wrapped all in one man for me. Thank God I did not miss out in this life nitori 'spec'😂😂😂
We were 9 years this past July. All glory to the Most High God🙌🙌🙌
This is beautiful...God bless you ma'am!
This is my testimony! 10 years after and I'm still happy with God's choice for me.
One year late again but I can relate absolutely with this.
The man I married wasn't my initial spec but marrying him was the best decision I made today.
It will be our first year anniversary on Monday 🥰🥰🤭🤭🤭❤️
How can you not like this two?????? I love this my fave couple of all time
Word word word 💯💯 This was so much fun to watch and the gems, hmmm opor por por😁😁
You dont know what you have done to me and how much you have helped me . I was going to breakup with avery awesome guy only because he shorter than iam but Pastor PG spoke to my soul and spirit. Thank you , God increase you both my love to baby Soso 😍
This conversation really resonates with me. First time I met hubby, I wasn't physically attracted to him at all. I just wanted a friend, but i was attracted to his mind and how he stimulated me mentally. I woke up one day and realized that he had become the most handsome man alive. The mental attraction had now grown to include physical attraction. I agree with your husband, there must be a form of attraction.
My story exactly
Her husband was so vulnerable. This is so beautiful 😭😭😭
I fell in love with my friend. I am a very tall lady. He on the other hand is short. Very short. Guess what???only my friends could see his height. His personality is so beautiful. He is an anointed Pastor. I dont mind marrying a shorter man.
It's your choice dear😍. I'm glad you followed your heart😙
My desire was exactly like yours but when I met my hubby he was not my spec but I liked his person too.He wasnt that tall but he is 1000yards husband material so I stayed.we are 31/2 years in it n counting
It wasn't an insecurity issue in my case, I wasn't just attracted to him, my ex fiance was everything, God fearing, tongue talking, demon chasing lol I mean he loved me to bits! He is a good man. So I thought maybe time would happen, we dated for 3years and i can say now, because I'm in a good place that it was a struggle for me, at a time I found myself attracted to his friend, which was dangerous for us both, because it informed how I treated him. I wasn't happy, I found myself comparing him and wishing he was this and that..I only found great PEACE after I called off the engagement ..someone would ask if this person is all you mentioned what is the problem? I still ask myself up till now. But I'm rest assured knowing that, every good and perfect gift comes from God..I don't have the answers yet but I got my peace back!
I really really understand this
I can relate. Not every good man is for you.
Love the honesty PG . A lot of men aren’t honest about their insecurities
Mama and PG.God bless you both Amen. I am married to a visually impaired man that i love really love. what settled it for me is that the things that are seen are temporal the unseen are eternal(person)
So beautiful. God bless you both.
@@momomamabaebae Amen.
Beautiful 💕💕💕
I think physical attraction is important. I just don't think it should be set in stone like you said
Mama and pastor GB, I admire the friendship that exists between you two. I admire the fact that pastor G could share a one time vulnerable part of him, not all African men will do this, it's not a sign of weakness that you shared this but a sign of strength that you admitted it, and grew past it. May your relationship continually be a testimony to many.
I am older than my fiance by 3 years but then i would have never thought i could date someone younger than me because of the insecurity that i am fat, stronger so i needed my type of guy to be the same as me or a bit bigger than me. One day we will get married because we are building future together we have kids together
Can you imagine this topic is like it is directed to me specifically. Before i dated my boyfriend i always said i wanted a giant gy, tall and muscular because i am a medium to plus size woman i always wanted someone who is much more than i am to complement my insecurities. I wear size 8 or 9 on shoes so i always wanted someone who maybe wears 10 or even 12 a real giant guy but God works in a mysterious way. God gave me a short tiny guy who is even younger in age than i am and this guy loves me so much that now the age, the shoe size , the height and muscles do not matter a thing. I am able to submit to him because of how much respect and love he gives me. This topic i am taking it personal. You really inspired me.
The honesty from PG, not surprised considering he was raised by awesome parents.
In life you will meet more attractive people than your spouse that’s more reason you need to fall in love with ONE’s person more than just physical attributes👏👏👏
Solution mama your RUclips has actually motivated me to start mine,will be posting my first video tomorrow
So much wisdom in this video. One thing that struck me is the fact that our idea of our spec is usually born out of fantasies, vain/shallow ideas and insecurities which is why it should never be grounds for choosing a partner. Thank you mama solutions and PG.
Yes sis, u right!
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Attraction actually grows with time. when you fall in love with a person's person, they will always be something to be attracted to .
I wonder what Damilola and Emmanuella Mike Bamiloye would say to this topic. I love you guys
What’s this one nah😂😒
Lol
Lol
As in enhhh.....u just said my mind
When you fall in Love with One's (true) person it goes beyond the physical attraction👌👌
In a nutshell, wahala for who focuses only on superficial things.
God bless the Gbemiga-Adejumos
I feel true love doesn't really have a spec(face) when you see,something connects and it's instant and of course you LL sense the peace .
God bless you PG and Tolulope. This is so so needed, God really had to work on me in this area because it is something I have carried in my heart for a long time ( I don’t like short guys at all🤣) but thank God who showed me that a dude can be 6ft in the physical but a dwarf in the spirit and that just struck me and helped me understand that I should not drown myself in the physical.
This is deep!
@@treasure7278 So deep!
"A man can be 6ft in the physical, but a dwarf in the spirit." Yoooooooo THIS!!!!!
I love this
imagine getting the mental attraction in someone 12 years older. The wahala is how to build the physical attraction with the age 🤦♀️
That's very true like my story I feel like everyone I dated was based on my thinking and fleshly mind. But meeting my husband i learnt that our youth thinking is very dangerous and am grateful i meet my husband because he is everything I never thought of but has fulfil my heart and I feel so much loved
The Holy Spirit is so timely. My friend had this conversation with me yesterday regarding who she wants to settle with and we both agreed to pray and trust the leading of the Holy spirit, now this
Thank You Jesus
Love you guyss ❤❤❤
Dealing with and fixing Insecurity can never be overemphasized. Thank you Solutions Mama and PG.
Well said, they are actually many tall dark and handsome crazy men everywhere, the best is to allow the spirit to lead you
Hmm this may just be the reason why some ladies are single. Walking around with a typo!! God will help us all.. Mama solutions 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Your husband is so correct.. in fact, this entire video is the truth, I always thought of an ideal partner as a taller slim guy mainly because I’m not really tall myself and my body type is plus sized but growth has taught me that it’s all in my head and that if I have a problem with size as it concerns my future partner, I better work on myself instead of building vague expectations. Thank you both for confirming that.
Notification geng 💃💃...
PG is here without further ado let's jump right into it
When I say Wisdom you say PG
Thank you Tolulope for bringing PG to bless us with this beautiful perspective i felt like he was talking to me My spec has always been about feeling a void in my insecurities,but today i learnt and p.s your channel has helped me learn to build a relationship with God I’m still on the journey 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you PG and Solutions, This has been my struggle in my Relationship, the guy I’m currently dating is not my spec at all, but there’s something about him that I can’t let go.
Our motives for wanting what we want should always be checked, No wonder God judges our intent/motive
Welldone 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Solutions this video means a whole lot to me
Wow, this shed such a bright light on my thoughts...especially looking for qualities that we think will fill our inadequacies/insecurities, wow! So deep! Help us lord
Oh wow I love you both so much and I just told my husband about you guys because he is home as I got the notification for the video,to be honest my husband was not my spec,and he told me I was not his too,but we fall in love with our personalities and have our attraction and trust me our marriage is blissful,it's not all about SPEC because our spec can show us pepper are times,thank you guys for sharing with us..I love your marriage
I love how Tolulope is passionately talking about this.😍😍
To be honest, as a young lady coming up i really needed this. Thank you Solution
Kenya 🇰🇪 gang!
You have spoken straight to my heart, as a single lady, my spec has been a guy taller than I am and I don’t know why I have that spec, I need to look inwards
Thank you for emphasizing that ATTRACTION is important or it will be easy to get tired
This conversation is a literal eye-opener and life-saver because the same type of thinking informs other relationships like friendships too! If we base judgement on the first impression,we always get disappointed because typically what we see doesn't always match the inner heart.
“Hmm there must be a form of attraction” Good point 👍
I wholeheartedly agree with everything you guys said, attraction does not have to be all physical but i believe there has to be physical attraction too.. PHYSICAL attraction specifically is also important.. there are a whole lot of factors that work together to make a beautiful relationship.. physical attraction is not the most important but it has to be present.. you have to be happy to look at your spouse and enjoy their beauty, you have to like what you see
Thank you for this
So many big girls struggle to find someone who will complement their physique
Solutions Mama!!!!
Well, my story is funny because my husband's spec was slim slim. I have never been slim! He kept teasing me till we got married. Then, he began to give thanks for the extra flesh! In his own words 'thank God, I didn't marry a slim person'.
God knows what is good for us, spec or not. Let's be led by the HolySpirit.
My take home: Attraction ain't based on physicality. However, attraction is key
Thanks sir and ma
Your husband is so wise. You're blessed.
Love from kenya 🇰🇪
From Kenya too and loving her content
Omg Tolu, I just got to 3:40 and PG is speaking fire! It just made me realize that’s my reason for wanting a tall person! I’ve always felt like I was too big. I’m about 5’7/8 and chubby. Thank youuuu for this post! Let me finish watching 🤣🙈
Wow! Pg is such a secure man! "Better come with your 5inches" . the wisdom you people have ehhhh. Thank you so much for sharing. God bless you guys.
Hi Tolu, I was not attracted to my husband at first because of his acne, cos at the time i was dealing with mine but i fell in love with his personality and i looked way pass it.
Tolulope's face when PG said my wife is beautiful and my spec.
Awwww, that tiptoe thing is mine too oo and God actually gave more than just tipteo😃like very tall, chocolate & well built🤗 God gave me more than my expectaions..Thank you my fave couple I love love you guys...
Thanks for this topic, God bless you. I must say I have a bit of challenge/struggle with this "attraction" thing.
However, the 'beyond the physical looks, first be attracted to his person' struck me. Thanks so much🤗
Sometimes to be honest i think people should go for their spec, it might not be 100% but atleast u should see 60/70% of wat you will want for ur spec. Its also true that ur desires/spec can change while u are in that relationship/marriage. Like in my own case for instance, i have liked/attracted to light skin guys but my dear i have never dated a light skin guy in my entire life. My hubby is dark skinned and he has some other things that gets me attracted to a guy which are not physical and we are both happy with each other.
Same here😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I have never dated light or brown. I have been around like dark dark Sudanese type😅😅😅😅lawd help meee jisous
I have a similar story; I always wanted a tall guy so I could tiptoe to kiss him. Actually dated a tall muscular guy and tiptoed for 3years and at the end I knew there was more to a relationship than tiptoeing. When I started dating my fiance I was sure of what I really wanted, my head was no longer in the clouds and he ticks all the boxes. We are getting married in May.... PS I don't tiptoe, who tiptoe epp?
🤣🤣 Congrats gurl..God above All.Tip toe no de help oo
Tip toed for 3yrs😂😂😂
Hahaha ! I love your story,I want to be your friend, it's awesome to know that discernment is real,thank you for sharing
@@thespot2035 thanks
Wow I love your story girllll...thank God you stopped tiptoeing oooo😂😂😂
Chai. I love you guys. PG is loaded. No woman will see PG and not look twice o. Tolulope Solutions, you are blessed and graced. Love you both
Wooow,I didn't anticipate in vain🙏. Although I'm not married I initially had an impression of having a happy ever after with a much taller guy who is mascular with a broad chest. After getting into a relationship with one,I realised that in as much as how my opinions matter,he was always working out just to keep me happy but in the end,his body took my place in his life. I realised after watching one of your videos where you said we shouldn't rush God with the time we want to marry. I learnt from there and today that,my perfect attraction is what God has in mind for me.
Thanks for being a blessing mama Tolu❤️
It's a different energy when you and PG does video together... Thanks for shading light
Seriously I love this video. I learnt alot that is not about fantasy and what we want. It's about falling in love with someone who will bring out God's purpose and visions.
Well said. Attraction is important but, character & values in a person should also be considered when choosing a partner.
I absolutely agree! I always say, if we all decide to marry the picture in our heads, trust me we’d all be probably married to the wrong persons or not even married at all. I am quite tall and have always wanted a taller guy just so he can complement me. Trust me, all the relationships I have had my entire life even marriage, I have always been taller🙈🤣
Awwww. I'm happy for you, supporting you too
There has to be a way to love this video twice.. thank you PG and solution for sharing. You guys are the realest❤️❤️❤️
Attraction is important, but their character (person) is importanter🙌🙌
Thanks for this video
Why do i just feel ds video is for me? Truly the inner mind matters, looks fade away. Well done my people 🙌 More Grace. 🙏
Knowing your channel is not A mistake at all. Am really blessed
More Grace
Am telling you,
Honestly
Omoooo, I'm just 3 minutes 39 seconds into this video and I'm already getting some deep things. PG is blessed with the wisdom of God🙌🏾 I love you both💜💜
What I love about this God's ordained couple is their ",Openness".... can't love you less darling..🙏❤
I once got attracted to someone's spirituality when he was obviously not my spec and I think it affected my connection with him physically
PG! Man of wisdom, please don't leave us o. The first few minutes was so enlightening. Well done, guys. ❤
The blushings got me smiling all through at the same time thanks for sharing this wisdom with us mama😘
Who also missed the Bloopers?
God bless you both
Wow... I just love both of you mehn🤗🤗...
When you fall in love with 'the person' nothing else will really matter with the outward appearance. My husband who is the love of my life was not 'the specs'... but 18years later, I'm glad I ditched the specs thing fast!
PG is wise
His words are full of wisdom.
this video has me thinking; why is my spec my spec? hmm
This question is deep o
How can I 'triple like' this video??!💕💕♥️
Thank you so much for this transparency and willingness to help guide those following behind ❤️
Side note: this might be very random but you remind me of Alita from Alita battle angel 🙈🙈🙈 I love you ❤️
Timely conversation especially for our ”picture perfect ” generation. Come to think of it, most of these ”binding concepts” of specs resonates with these set-out boxes society has painted in our minds over time of what ”looks good”. The public display of the ”perfect couple” in media shows us a tall handsome man, so we are all running around looking for ”tall handsome men”😂. Rightfully said, IT IS TIME TO ASSESS OUR SPECS! Btw, like below if you are with someone who ”did not (past tense) fit your specs” or you know of a couple who didn't fit each other’s specs ( let's do this survey once and for all 😂)
He his a man of wisdom indeed. God bless u two
When Papa comes you know it will be very very very interesting and fun. God bless you both more knowledge.
Wow u guys are so lovely
We want u to talk about romance in dating, like things u are not supposed to do n those u can do while dating
Wahala for whoever focuses ONLY on tall, dark and handsome o 😂 Thanks for words of wisdom PG and solutions mama 🤗
Hello, am so happy I watched this video because am tall I never give short people a chance,but my present relationship am a little taller than him but I love him for him thanks so much for giving us personal experience,love you both❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
That was the issue I had before getting married too. I'm a little taller, I really fought with that. But the love didn't allow me let go. I was looking for an opportunity, even when we have misunderstanding, mehn I saw myself loving this guy more. I was even surprised at myself. But I'm happily married now.
Like everytime I see you both....I always smile because you both are a perfect example of marriage made in heaven....more years of marital bliss..love you both ..🥰😅
After watching this video.. I learnt a lot.. thank you Lord for using this amazing people..
Just wanted to drop something that I got..
Believe it or not, when you get that attraction to a person. God with the help of the Holy Spirit will teach you to love that person regardless of the physical look..... And once there is genuine love, you'd begin to appreciate their physical look... Beauty will become in the eye of you the beholder.. and you'd see the beauty the world can't see...
God help us... And bless you Tolu and Sensei Gee
Solutions mama!!!! So prompt and on point. This spec thing ehn! The Holy Spirit dealt (still dealing) with me. Like you said, attraction is not only physical. I think acceptance is also important, accepting your partner for who they are not what you want them to be!
(p.s. it was great listening to you and Bro. Gbemiga at the Marriage is easy conference).
This is very nice. Well done. I'd say that physical attraction is very important cuz that's the run way for the intimacy and romance to take off and rise to great height. It must not be 100% but it must be there. Imagine a man not attracted physically to her wife in any way. Hehehe, the temptation to do 'like that' will be mad o!! That's because there is nothing to hold on to @ physical attraction. No play with romance in marriage o! I come in peace.
I love your top, it's beautiful. The shimmery nature & the bow..
Wow wow wow this is so accurate you are really a Solution to the world ma and a blessing🙏🏼😍 PG is wisdom in person both of you are just great 🥰 i feel so blessed tonight like you blessed my heart with this topic and I learnt alot. thank you so much ma mommy solution and Daddy PG More grace to your elbow 🙏🏼
Just here to listen to PG. His full of wisdom. IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE that have your 100% SPEC, you go wait forever ooooo. The most important is, does he FEAR GOD, His/her relationship with God and family, what DRIVES HIM/HER (Your purpose in life),
is he/her educated and what is his/her 2-5 years goals. EXTRA: HOW DO YOU TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH?
Ohhh my.....thank you solutions mama and PG for this video,really the person I am in a relationship with it not my spec in terms of been handsome,you know all the handsome handsome geng thing........but what I see in him is beyond his looks,what he carries his more than the looks and that brought so much attraction and love for me...so I agree when you said it takes just beyond physical attraction,physical attraction should just be a bonus,the tip of the iceberg
If you are a true child of God,you easily fall in love with the personality and not the physical features. My husband said one of his course mates at uni was very curvy and beautiful and guys were jamming heads over her. A year after she got married,hubby saw her and all the curves had disappeared. My husband wasn't also my original spec but I was already born again and all I wanted was God's perfect will. Almost ten years now and am falling in love with him each day.
You see why I love my favourite people🔥🔥... Amazing video, pastor gbemiga thanks for coming ☺🙌... thank you Solutions for sharing this video. Amazing!!
I smiled watching this video all through ❤️. Love is beautiful with the right person
The last part 🔥🔥. Choose ye this day.
It's a matter of choice.
E be real life solutions! You give us real value...❣
You both came for me today. Thank you so much for sharing this. God bless you both. Thank you PG for gracing us with your presence today and as usual you came worded. I pray that Abba keeps prospering you both in all you do. Forever a team solution member❤❤
Yes,the inner person, the spiritual make up thus matters and the most important which will help compliment other physical qualities.