The fact that my parents always use the “children obey your parents” scripture against me but never read the scripture right after that says “fathers don’t provoke your children” 😪
Exactly and the commandment that says Honor your father and mother doesn't mention love at all. I find that to be kind of telling from God but maybe that is just my opinion.
Pray for my financial stability so that I can move out of my toxic parents house to honour them by keeping my distance. I tell them what they did that is offensive and they will get angry deny it and flip the script. I’ve had enough all they focus on my entire life was honour your parents but ignore the whole don’t provoke your children to wrath. I’m 26 and I’ve had enough I just want peace, today I’ve made the decision to interact the least that I can with them.
You will find your peace. Pray every morning and ask for God to guide you and forgive you of your hurt and pain. I am in a similar situation and God has opened many doors for me. He will do the same for you, look for the opportunities that come and take the step, trust in him. God Bless.
try not to tell this to anyone.. what's happening inside the kitchen because just like your parents people will usually find them right and it will build even more hate in your heart. they will think if she thinks and talks about her parents like this imagine how she thinks and talks about us. but make no mistake they will smile and show fake support. im in same situation im 28. I live alone since 25, and I tried to tell people about my trauma.. and no I did not leave they kicked me out, took what's mine and gave it to my so called angel sister. but I got everything back with the help of my uncle he is better than father god bless his soul. I came back strong, with my own house income completely independent .. they try to downplay everything. I see no sign of true respect and etc. you either have to accept them the way they ae or just fuck them. they will never change ever!
Angie D, exactly. I was surrounded by these types growing up and I'm not sure what unconditional love even looks like. I just ask God in faith to show me that.
I walked away from my mother. At some point I realized I didn't have to endure her emotional abuse anymore. I enabled her way too long to keep abusing me ...as a child and as an adult. Never again. I forgave her...and I forgive her...again and again...I often need to pray that God protects my heart from resentment. It is a struggle, but I give it all to Him.
Thanks for writing this. Im 28 and a total mess from abuse, just now starting to recognize even worse than being sexually assaulted wqs growing up being spiritually abused by my parents, especially my mother. This helps me acknowledge wqlkimg away is the right thing to do, rspecially when they think i should thank them for the abuse. Theres nothing to talk about, time to heal
2 ways to honor parents prayer and forgiveness. When parents choose to dishonor themselves, it is not the children's fault. The best way is to turn your parents over to God, and letting Him take over. Also, what ever it takes to break the toxic cycles, so that spiritual and emotional healing can take place. Another way, we can honor parents is not retaliating and seeking revenge against them. Walking away, I am proud of you for doing this. God will bless you for doing the right thing even though it is very difficult. Josie
I just prayed for my dad last night who is very selfish and unrepentant. Just because they sin, we don't have to follow them into sin. I still love him, and I want all of my family to inherit the kingdom of God one day, but he has to want it for himself. He has to see the error in his ways and repent, otherwise vengeance is the Lord's and he will one day hear "depart from me." Creating a healthy distance with boundaries is very important otherwise anger and resentment builds back up from just witnessing/experiencing how he is. I forgive and then he does something again...and again. I have to be in constant communication with the Lord when I'm around him. I ask God to help me find the balance between honor, love (because I honestly don't respect his character), and boundaries. I ask for forgiveness any time I lash back in a disrespectful way vs just an assertive way. I need to be slow to anger and slow to speak as the Word states. I can be angry but not sin. It's not easy though. God bless you.
I had a fight with my mum yesterday over something that had been bothering me for a while with regards to the way she treats me. She spun it out of control and now is bringing in family to tell them how I was talking down to her when she's sick... Thing is, I have been trying to reach out to her for a while and she has always shut me down, and last year, her and my dad physically abused me. Like if my siblings weren't there, I'd be dead type of abuse. I have tried everything. Talking to her, writing letters, having a mediator... All of it. But still, nothing. And I don't have a stable job and I can't afford to move out. Please. I've never asked for prayers in public. But ease you guys. Please pray for me. I'm trying so hard. Please.
Hey fellow Kenyan..I hope you're okay. I think God will comfort us. I'm saying I think because I'm typing this with swollen eyes but I don't want to be angry anymore.
I don't know who needs this but the Lord placed it in my heart to share this... The last time I was on this page,and on this particular video my eyes were swollen from crying because of something my father had said to me and I just broke down remembering everything he had said in my life. After listening to this video I remember I felt overwhelming peace and I just prayed, let it go, forgave my dad and drew near to God since then. However, my dad has been extremely sick physically for months now but since yesterday he's been out of his mind, he keeps hallucinating, anxious, scared and he hasn't said a word or eaten for hours.. honestly it's scary and so sad to see him like this ..he can't stay away from my mum and as I type this he won't get in the house or sleep..he's scared of something we can't see or understand. I love my dad but we never had the best relationship. However, seeing him like this I can't help but beg God to have mercy on him. I want my dad to see my kids and play with them, for him to get another chance to preach the gospel, to stay with mum into their old age. What I'm trying to say is that God is our only hope, He's our only source of contentment. Human beings may fail us but we should not even rely on them that much in the first place. Forgive your parents, love them and seek God to fill that parental void. I love you all and God bless you.
@@A_m3ssyou can't but Jesus can. Remember you can forgive But doesn't mean you have to be around the abusers. Atleast that what I'm trying to find out. My Dad's a nasarsisit and I want to love him but I don't know if I should even be around him because I don't want to get manipulated/hurt again. So love from a distance and pray for them. Forgive the past and let God soften your heart
*(Little House on the Prairie, S3 Ep 9: 'The Bully Boys' illustrates proper biblical perspective and how well meaning Pastors sometimes get it wrong ) Jesus walked away from Toxic people. Healthy Boundaries and Righteous Indignation, are Not an 'unforgiving spirit'. Sometime's it's very hard to discern what God wants us to do? When do we 'Love the Unlovely' Or is Satan using our Compassion against us? When we should practice 'Unconditional Love'? God help us recognize if we are 'Throwing pearls before Swine'. Yes, we should love like God loves. LOVE IS DOING THE BEST THING FOR THAT PERSON. Sometimes God allows us to experience Consequences of our sin. Sometimes extending Long Suffering and Grace. Pray for Toxic people. It helps them and helps us. "But for the Grace of God there go I" The bible is a paradox. Yes, obey your parents and authorities, but bible clearly indicates we OBEY THE HIGHER AUTHORITY FIRST...God Himself. So if your parents or Boss asks you to do something against God's word...we must obey God's Word and the Holy Spirit's leading.
Yes! Not to sound weird but many of the churches are in fact compromised. There’s a lot of individuals who are into the craft and even outright satanism & lucifeianism that purposely preach the Word that way to cause confusion. If I had to put a percentage on it I’d say, generously speaking, around 85%-95%. If you were to read the Word and compare it to what many of these false prophets preach you’d see the inconsistencies coming from these false prophets. The abuse/pain thing goes into those particular principles that they believe in. The truth of the matter is that the abuse is wrong and if the abusers don’t repent and make things right they will end up in hell. A person who does these things are not good people.
I just googled "what would Jesus do with a hurtful mother" cause I am in so much pain wanting to talk to my mother about the lack of listening to me all my life, while I was walking a very special and needed a path to get the knowledge I wanted to have. With God and now fulltime with Jesus! thank you so much, I just took out the garbage saying: I am no longer holding on to the hurt I feel whenever trying to talk to my mother and she is just cutting me off yelling and sometimes laughing at my pain. Take it away from me, dear Jesus!
Abusers will never change or repent. they don't believe they've ever done wrong. In fact if you bring it up however respectfully, you're the perpetrator and they the victim. And they will exact revenge to the max - by whining and playing victim to your siblings and relatives. In the end you'll be isolated, ridiculed and smeared to no end. As it is, victims of abuse tend to self-blame, twist themselves into pretzels to accommodate others and endlessly forgive to their own detriment. This leads to anxiety, depression, self-sabotage. And it is perpetuated by religious leaders who constantly preach 'forgiveness' but never hold the evil reprobate abusers accountable. Forgiveness requires repentance. Otherwise as in Matthew 18, Rom 16, 1 Cor 5, shun them and protect yourself and your children from further abuse.
DIVINITY BAY You can change your course and undo the damage. First remove yourself from toxic / abusive relationships. Then start to nurture yourself by rest, nutrition, therapy, online support, art, music, etc. RUclips channels like BA recovery, narcissistic abuse recovery, Ross Rosenberg have been life changing for many people. You learn to 're-parent your inner child'. You will find peace and joy. Best wishes.
thats not always true, I've heard of it happening on the radio i used to have. a woman wrote about how her father abused her all her life and one day, Jesus opened his eye's and he begged and begged for her forgiveness but she wouldn't give it to him, although later on he died and eventually the Lord opened her eye's too and she regretted not being able to forgive him, either way, i hope the Lord blesses that family.
@@bobbyweirddick6556 Be silent in the mighty Name of Lord Jesus. Your claim is based on nothing. I can proof with science, history and archeology That Jesus did excist. And so does God!
My dad called me dramatic for pointing out that he is emotionally abusing me and he keeps threatening every therapist I’ve gone to so I can’t get help. I’m just feeling helpless against him
I am really sorry for that our Dad is like that too, but I do hope God will change his heart he claims to be a Christian but I think no true Christian should do such a thing that. Bothers other people and leave them no peace at all... But as I continue to slide through this comment section I am getting some answers.. i know it's been a year since you wrote this , but I do hope you're doing much better now. So much love from Peace
My parent's are not willing to ever admit the physical, mental, verbal, and spiritual abuse they did to me. Unfortunately, their brand of christianity enables their abusive behavior to me to this day. I think it would be more than healthy if this is the case for anyone reading this, to protect your own soul & heart from their reach in the future by limiting contact.
100%, same for me, when i decided to distance myself from such toxic behavior, they started to say that I don't know how to communicate or share stuffs. that's just crazy
Me too. My parents were always verbal, emotionally and physically abusive to me and to this day, I’m 31 and still have to deal with it. It’s so hard as an only child I didn’t have anyone else to defend me, to understand how horrible they were and still are. I don’t blame God but I do wonder sometimes why he chose to give me parents like this? I have so many issues and I fully blame them for it. However I’m an adult so I’m in therapy trying to work through them because I refuse to suffer anymore because of them. It just sucks that I have to pay for their ‘sins’ by shelling out money for therapy, books etc it almost feels like I’m being punished for it as an adult even though I already was punished as a child. I could go on and on but it really hurts that they refuse to admit it.
It's the middle of the night. I've stayed up crying, thinking about the things my dad does to my mom, my siblings, and I. Every time we try to speak he flips it around and suddenly it's our fault. He's been gone all summer bc of his job but he comes back soon, and I'm dreading his return... I haven't cried all summer until tonight, and the only thing that makes me cry is that evil man. The worst part is, he's a chaplain, and always lectures us on how to be the perfect christian and all the things we're doing wrong. He's utterly blind to his failures. I don't even know how to tell him without getting frustrated, and now suddenly I'm just the emotional teenager. All of us are still living at home and are underage so there's no escape. I'll be the first to go... I feel so bad for my siblings having to stay with him. It's hopeless and we're so helpless, especially my mom bc he won't listen to her either and abuses her too. But anyway, I thought I was so alone until reading the comment section. I love you. The pain won't last forever. God is with us. I don't know how I'll cope, but God will be carrying me and my family despite my dad's wickedness. We are not alone.
Thank you all in these comments!! I was on the verge of unaliving cause my parents made me feel crazy when I started realizing I was being manipulated and lied to. Getting that from you “parents” makes you fear that everyone you encounter is out to hurt you.
My mother would beat me up for being too tired to go to church or because I was caught chatting in class, anything really. And she denies it when I talk about it or she just says that I got what I deserved because I was a "tough child". If she finally apologies, she'll say the same thing again few months or years later anyway. She can never change. I had cancer two years ago I was 22, she said I was a "tough patient" because I "did not want to take medication". Well, I could not even talk because my throat was completely burnt inside out. She's keeps on saying that. Whenever I cry to her about my medical issues that I'm still getting now (consequences of the harsh treatments), she will yell at me, won't let me talk, and will accuse me of being always complaining for nothing, not positive and comparing me to those who have died, saying at least I'm alive. Well, I feel like I'm being stabbed to death each time she talks to me like that. I don't want to talk to her anymore, but the Bible says to honour your parents...I don't know what to do now...
I know it's tough , I struggled myself with being adopted from a young age and I was always trying to get a pleasing word or acknowledgment of some sort or just to hear an HONEST heartfelt "I love you son " never happened , never will . I went through many injuries and surgeries myself and NEVER received any form of compassion or empathy , they would somehow turn empathy do to me from the doctor , relatives or other toward them . Trust me IT DOESN'T change , I am 50 years old now and distancing is the only way , but it may take time. You have to do it , and you must do what i did trust ALONE in JESUS CHRIST or you'll be scapegoated until your death may GOD and Jesus Christ bless you and keep you and guide you through it all Trust in Him alone he is helping me Faith in Him will work miracles it won't be easy but he will be there for you just don't give up , after all even JESUS corrected his earthly mother in Public.
My parents think that they are representing God on earth according to the Bible. So they are allowed to swear at us and disrespect us but we are not allowed to do anything to upset them.
The only time in scripture Jesus lost His temper was when He flipped the tables of the money changers who were profaning His Father's house, as well as whipping them to chase them out. While scripture does emphasize obedience to authority figures, I have yet to find a verse where Jesus rebuked a child to tears. As an adult, I no longer shed a tear when I hear of a boomer parent dying. A plurality of the boomer generation will be dying alone in nursing homes most of them, with little to no contact from their children.
Forgiveness doesn’t automatically create a relationship between the adult child and parent. Because my abusers are unrepentant and unwilling to own their sin, I will not allow them entry into my life as I will not aide in their sin of rebellion. This was not an easy decision but the Lord has given me peace to go forward and be in the land of the living. I must go about doing my Father’s business and warning others of the punishment to come if they reject Jesus. I want to tell others of His saving love for us. God is so good!
Parents never interested in talking about such things and then prefer to gaslight. All of this presupposes that one's parents are reasonable, rational people who want to change.
I would never approach them about anything (just me) because God is enough for me. I love them and pray for them and set my boundaries. Only God can change a heart, and our actions can be seeds.
Although I do not understand your situation, and I do not know every thing you have experienced... I highly encourage you to look up (on Google or something)... "Bible scripture about prayer" , there are exhaustive lists of verses talking about what God has said about prayer, and the attitude that is important to have when praying. I think it might really encourage you! (: Because God does indeed answer prayer. The ultimate goal is for God to receive the glory for what He does. If we pray out of selfishness and were to receive it, I'd say that definitely risks us taking the credit for it (even if we had "good intentions"). God must take the credit each time. and we must believe that God will answer - no doubts. You'll find that there are scriptures that talk about this. One example about doubting is this: (James 1:6 ESV) "But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind." And one other that makes us ask, "Is God not answering me because I am doing something God considers evil?" (1 Peter 3:12 ESV) "For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” So i'll end here with this - Are you living your life apart from God in any way, or any other area of your life? This is not a criticism of you, but rather, I hope to spark some important questions within you. I learn new things all the time and am always amazed how messed up I am hahaha :) But it helps me grow, learn, and understand God much better! Hope this helps even a little. ~God bless!
Literally crying rn because they always assume and always think that the things im into (BTS) are the reason why I’m quiet, have anger issues, emotional, depressed, generally don’t smile and etc. I try to be my best for them but they just put me down. I just feel wronged.
I know this comment is a year old but just in case, I highly recommend you start distancing yourself from kpop in general. They are literal idols, we shouldnt have any idols and in addition to that, there is very blasphemous and satanic symbolism in kpop music in general. It will be hard to let go but its possible.
I so appreciate this word of advice. Letting go and giving everything to God is not easy but it’s the only way to move on and overcome. My father abused me and my mother rejected me until her death. He died tragically but sad to say, I felt relief at not having to mask the truth. Mother treated me like I didn’t exist. One day as an adult I asked my mother if she ever thought about how her actions affected me. Her answer was no. I told her...Goodbye and we never spoke again. It was too painful to keep revisiting our on and off relationship. It had to stop. I don’t know if that was the best thing to do but I am learning to give up trying to understand and not feel pain, resentment and all that goes with it. I can do nothing on my own. Only with God can I forgive and let go. His grace is sufficient.
Do not forget. When you forget, abusers take advantage, and twist the blame of their wrongful actions onto you (saying you sinned and that they were the conduits of Jesus, etc). Do not forgive, because abusers who do not acknowledge the fact that they are guilty of doing atrocious acts to another human being will always find a way in their brains to defend their own actions, again by blaming you. The best way is to move forward, spread the awareness of not abusing your kids because of your individual beliefs, and built a better life than they did. Get a therapist, be a promoter of healthy childhoods. You may not find peace with your abusers, but you ultimately won't need to anymore.
hello cl Ng...I have 4 kids, and I was married for almost 20 years. my wife left me when my kids were teenagers, and my little girl was 4. my wife did not want are kids to have anything to do with me, because my wife was a screwed up person who left me for a man she worked with, and then she left him also. I have a wonderfull relationship with my oldest daughter and my granddaughter. my second oldest daughter all of a sudden 2 years ago, after I sent her a card just to let her know how much I love her, and she sent me 2 pages of hate. she said I was not there for her when she needed a father and things like this. these things are not true. I went to every one of her games, I played soccer with her on the weekends to help her out. when she got older I bought my kids moutian bikes so that I could have something that we could do together. she says that's a lie I never did that. I never hit my kids, I never abused them in sex, I never called them names ect.... the problem is that my ex wife took my kids away from me just when I was starting to deal with them as grown ups. I was not a perfect father, how could I be, for no man is perfect. but iam very HURT by her telling me all these bad things that are not true. my oldest daughter knows there not true, but still it hurts..IAM WRITTING THIS TO YOU CAUSE IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU HAD BAD PARENT? IF THAT IS TRUE WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU? I don't know how to fix my daughter when she wont talk to me. my oldest daughter said she is just angrey at the world, and she is just taking it out on me.
Agreed. Not forgetting doesnt mean holding a grudge. It just means protecting yourself from them doing the same toxicity again. Completely different things.
@@johndennis5182 I have a terrible relationship with my father. When I was younger he used to neglect me a lot and prefer my younger brother over me. He barely talked to me, got angry at me very easily, pushed me, didn't take an interest in what i did or liked, etc. I don't think he's ever asked me how I am, to be honest. He was very petty with me and would put huge consequences for minor actions I took. When i was 12 he refused to help me get citizenship in the country we were living in (I had my mom's country's nationality) because I didn't want to come out and help to look for my brother's skates in the garage. This sounds extremely ridiculous but that's because it is. My parents are divorced now and I've found that God has helped me to stop holding a grudge against him. He's my father now, a father to the fatherless! But I don't know, maybe talk to your daughter and try to understand how she feels and what she's thinking. God be with you :)
Pour your heart out to God. Tell Him all the ugly stuff. If you think it, He knows anyway, so just have that frank prayer and He will change your heart and give you Justice His way.
My mom literally told me today that Satan is using me because I called out her behavior towards myself and my sister... but it was never Satan using her when she spent years telling me I'm awful, a freak, a b*tch, etc etc
I am in a similar situation, specifically towards my dad. He is an unbeliever and narcissistic. He believes he is a good person and doesn't believe he does anything wrong. He is a major lyer and sometimes I have to admit I snap at him. My mother on the other hand supports his behavior and says everything is because of his demons. I am really fed up and tired. For years my dad has abused me emotional and I have used food as a coping method. I have been abusing food for years and I am honestly sick of it.
Same here but my dad does believe in God. But he's like an "outward" showing Christian. I've used food as a coping mechanism for years. Even after getting saved last year, I struggle so much with it. Even when fasting I've eaten stuff I wasn't supposed to eat because I was 'fasting'. Because of binge eating, I have developed serious health issues and my parents barely even care. I'm researching so much about my health conditions and I'm trying to talk them into helping me but no luck. :( So who knows what's gonna happen? I'm too sick and tired to even fight back. I wish I hadn't come into this world sometimes but I know I have a purpose. I just don't know what, how, why, when, where I'm gonna be and what I'll do. So you're not alone you've got a sister in Christ here struggling with you❤✨
For every abuser there is an enabler...I have the same issue with my father who has been able to manipulate and scapegoat me in order to avoid dealing with his own issues.
Hey, just wanted to say I'm sorry you are going through this, I also abuse food bc of stressors in my life! Check out a Ray Comfort video where he interviews people, he also has a video about how to deal with unsaved family bc we have to handle them differently. And, a tip on the eating, I drink tea to help keep me out of the junk food! Just go to the store and get several teas you may like, peppermint and black tea are really good! When I stay drinking my tea, it keeps me from eating junk! Love from your sister in Christ!
I thank God for this video and having this pastor speak through the holt spirit because I have suffered a long life with my abusive narcissistic parents who never ever admit they abused me when they did and I have tried to work with them but they refuse to work with me. So I’m only 20 but to be honest I can’t take the burdens of their life on to mine anymore. I give it all to God and I thank God that he has given me the strength to say Amen and move on because it really has affected my mental health. I know that they aren’t sorry for their mistakes so I know God will handle them and i will get justice some day especially in his way. Amen
My "Christian" parents right now are commanding me everyday to do something in peticular that goes against the word of God and they won't admit it. Also at the same time threaten to kick me out of the house if I don't listen, they use the honor your parents! Line... and I'm going to honor God first but it's so sad and stressful seeing how they compromise the word of God in so many ways everyday. I desperately need prayers guys...
What if the child still lives at home still? It then becomes more complicated and a more toxic situation. Now this child will spend majority of his prayer time praying for his parents who should be teaching him Godliness by example. Some parents are narcissist
John Piper isn't answering the question. Honoring your parents has nothing to do with blind obedience and submission to abuse. Verbal and emotional abuse, or another form of narcissism I've dealt with. My father desires me to worship him. I don't know where he comes up with this, but when I was in severe physical need that I couldn't work physically, I asked for his assistance to my knee surgery. He said he would if I signed my house over to him. Once he sold it, there was to be 34k in profits. I never saw any of that money. On the same year the house was sold, my dad kicked me out of the house, and bought 2 vehicles in excess of 100k but refused to help me get knee surgery. What kind of abuse would you call this?
J.D. Matthias financial abuse? Being a fucking asshole abuse? That’s very unfair man I hope you recover from that in all the sense, and at least get a little bit of your money back. From my experience people like that have all kinds of lies and deceit, the best “honoring” I could do was just staying away. Don’t be bitter, maybe all the forgiveness you can do for now is not be mad, and if you can do that then great for you. Doesn’t mean he hasn’t screwed you over and you have a right to be stern with him about that. Pray that one day he’ll come to understand what he’s done.
I believe narcissistic/psychopathic abuse is fundamentally spiritual abuse, like you said that your father desires to be worshipped. It's the same old sin of Satan, wanting to be worshipped and obeyed instead of God.
I tried to tell my dad all the awful things he says to me isn’t right and hurts me a father is suppose to uplift his children and make them feel loved mine has mentally abused me so bad I suffer with severe depression and self worth his told me garbage and all sorts of bad Spanish bad words . His seen me cry and into depression and never has felt remorse for his actions his prideful .God says honor your mother and father but how can you honor a man who has hurt you the most in this life . Does God ever do justice and decipline or punish them ! All I have to say is sometimes I wished I was never brought into this world .
I can relate remorsefuly, I hate my father and mother not just because the bible tells me ( luke 14:26) but my father says the most ungodly things to me and my mother is a professional narcissist who has a skill to manipulate people against me yet flawed with men. My mother threatens me until my ears bleed and my voice is strained. I have little money to get out of the house but I continue to pray for them for it is written to love your enemies yet distance yourself from them, it is right to stay away from your fathers behavior for its such angry rubs on people as the bible states it. God Bless you and pray to your Father in heaven for strength and love.
Hey I’m going through the exact same thing, when I was a kid in 2nd grade I would be beat til I bled but if I told my mom he said I would get hurt worse, it scars me until this day. When I confront him now about everything he’s done, he says it never happened. When we argue I try to record especially when he says horrible things, I can’t do anything now but I really hope when I’m old enough or if my mom leaves him, I can use those videos in court, I’ve been hoping there is a way to press charges
God has shown mom and I to stay away from our family including our dad. Sometimes honor your parents means from a distance. Your dad isn't being who God wants him to be. God is a loving father and knows what a father is supposed to look like so He takes issue with it. He doesn't dismiss it and none of this is your fault. I've heard so many things about my dad: his life is falling apart now, whereas at first it just looked like he could do whatever he wanted and get away with it. It's scary. But I'm glad God kept us away and took my dad's place!
@@snorkchop8134wow I've now seen justice is served in the world! They're really nothing without anyone to abuse. They know eventually people will stay away from them, if they stay abusive. they know their fate yet still don't change.
I'm obviously here looking for biblical counsel and found what I needed. I'm a late bloomer and a first time mom, and my experience has taught me to train myself to apologize to my child for various mistakes and outbursts of emotion. Because when my child becomes an adult I want to readily be willing and able to reassure him that I was sorry then and just as sorry now for the lasting effect. Prayer request for my current situation please 🙏
Our stories are very similar. I always apologize to my kids when I'm wrong, overreact, or have bad days. I know I have my short comings and I'm willing to be held accountable by my children and. I make sure to validate them. I wish my parents could do that
I take care of my mother who is elderly and has mobility problems. I find myself getting angry at her and sometimes saying some regrettable things. She has always been emotionally manipulative and abusive. I feel that I forgive and forget until the next time she triggers me And it all comes back in that moment. How do I forgive when someone will not change? She has zero respect for boundaries or privacy. I've asked her thousands of times not to due certain behaviors that are upsetting to me. Hours later, she does it again. I am really struggling with this.
I needed this so badly. Thank you so much. I have come to God through abuse, and it brings me comfort to know that God loves me, forgives me for when I've reacted in anger, and that He can guide me in handling this the best I can. God taking that on His shoulders for me has helped me find peace tonight. I can only do what my conscience dictates and act as best I can, even if I stumble. I feel that God led me to this video, and that through you i have felt His support. I'm very grateful x
Parents like this are emotionally stunted. Making them feel good enough to empathize with you will never work. They need to recognize their own emotional infancy, bc they can’t accept it from someone who isn’t an established authority, who can make them feel safe and loved
Currently facing this issue. Thank you for the advice. Jesus should be guiding our very steps to confront these matters. The church needs to discuss these situations more often.
😔😔 Its like impossible for them to realize , because they always feel like this seniority / how they own me so they can do whatever they want to do and its okay.. I’m hurt , depressed & I just dont know what to do , but thank you for this vid :)
yep I can relate to the seniority thing. Just remember, your parents were toddlers once just like you once, and they grew up and had a child. That doesn’t make them right in everything, anyone can have a child. My advice is to get a job as soon as you can, get an inexpensive vehicle, get some money up in savings, look for an apartment and move it as soon as you can, u less ur planning to go to a university or something. Then you get a long break away from them. The sooner you get our, the sooner you can start the healing and forgiving process and you can fully move on with your life without your parents holding you back.
This stems from Western values set from the enemy, you will get protection, help and sanctuary the closer to God you get. Really love Him with all your heart, read his words from a Bible that's relevant to today's language. I read the Message bible but there are more. You will get answers and if you give your life to God and ask him to take away this, give to him to sort out and believe that he will you will it work with your own eyes. He loves you so much he will do anything for you as long as you accept Jesus as your only way to God. Seen it work over and over.
I’ve grown up with toxic, abusive, and very legalistic parents… it ruined all of their children. But they are so prideful that they take no responsibility in everything that happened and still happens for me and all of my siblings. It’s so opposite of the heart of Jesus… Yet they don’t care. We’re in the end times people!
What about parents who uses bible verses to defend themselves? Saying children need to obey to parents and they don't even care next verse which is do not exasperate your kid since it is written before that. They use old testament that children who disobey must get hit with stones. Always referring to god saying "this is what God wants, god spoke to me that u need to do this " and if I say sth back they said I'm wrong cuz I'm not spiritually improved like them. I even mentioned don't judge ppl first and look back yourself before you judge and they just yell at me saying I'm rude which ruins the order. When I was about to move out they said I'm ruining the peace and those evil spirit will follow me. My parents always curse me stop me doing anything I want to do. Always accuse me to my siblings (they are favoritism) about what I did. I'm so done. I lost my faith and about leave church because of this. Anyone can help?
qqurii liii hi, I was in a similar situation as you when I was a teenager (currently in my 20’s now). All I can say, and this is really the most boring advice ever, but do well in school and gain your independence if possible. Focus on your own faith because at some point, you’ll find peace with it despite whatever craziness is going on around you. Don’t let your parents faith deter you from having your own. I had to learn, and tbh I’m still learning, how to forgive my parents for how they were and it’s HARD - to this day they haven’t changed. But it became a lot easier once I finally left and could create some healthy distance between us. Whether or not they’ll change is entirely up to the Holy Spirit - work on yourself and your faith as much as you can. I know it probably feels like you’re stuck and that you’ll never find a way out, but take it from me, one day you’ll be able to look back on all of it.
Sounds like your parents are misquoting scripture and not listening to the Holy Spirit at all. In the New Testament, they tried to stone someone to death but Jesus would not let them. Also, what is this about your parents lying and saying they know what God wants you to do? They're not listening to God and they're trying to speak for God on your behalf? It doesn't work that way. They are not the Holy Spirit and they should have encouraged you to ask God what He wants instead of fabricating things that are not true for convenience. Spirits following you around? Where in the Bible does it say that Christians are vulnerable like that? The devil can influence us from the outside but he can't make us do anything. We have the protection of God. None of this sounds right... they aren't right. You don't have to listen to their lies regarding God, the Holy Spirit, Jesus, and the Bible. They are not God over you. Please watch some of Dr. Charles Stanley's videos regarding the Holy Spirit.
I moved out of my parents place when I was 18. I'm now happily married at 23 with a beautiful baby boy born 2 weeks ago. Today I had to have an inevitable conversation with my parents about honoring boundaries. (It's only been 2 weeks and my wife is still recovering - so like any normal person, our wishes were simply to respect this time as she recovers and as we navigate parenthood) The spirit of offense burst open through the hearts of my parents and I am left hurt deeply. I still really want my parents in their grandchilds life because I know it's important for us, but in a way where the entire family (husband + wife + grandchild) and their decisions are respected and honored. I fear that if my words today fell onto deaf ears, I may have to make that decision as the leader of my home to take away valuable and quality time with us. I know that there is no such thing as a perfect parent, but there is such thing as a loving and growing parent.
It just me and my mother left in our life... With her i get very anxious.. all my life i always obey her.. Except my college.. its been like 10 years i am still struggling to finnish it.. coz i grow up shy and introvert.. i grow up always compared with other kids.. and it made me feel scared coz it made me believe they r better than me.. plus when i was 19 i found out i was adopted.. it was so hard for me i had been depressed for decades.. if I dont accept Gid in my life.. i might be dead by now... but praise God. Now.. im still trying my best to get my college degree done.. taking online class.. and it s so hard for me since october until now.. mother temper s so short.. so many workers from us left coz they all scared from her.. she got this strong words strong powerfull intense words to make u feel low. And now.. it just me and mother n house... and all her intense temper..it so hard for me to convince myself not to absorbed it 😞 just few days ago i feel reborn.. i feel the spirit of anciety just finally kick out in my life.. but my mother temper i cnt get out from it. If i go.. who will be with her.. Our relatives is also scared of her.. they only likes to hangout when they got free food free shopping free travelling with her..but no one likes to be ready to absorb her intense energy.. 😞may God protect us from enemy...and keep our house harmonious
I really really really really really really really really really really HATE MY PARENTS FOR ALL THE ABUSE THEY DID even during my adult life. But be the better man. Be Christ like. Pray for them and forgive them. Wish for them not to be denied in Heaven but be glorified along with you. They are your first loves anyways. Wouldn't it be better to see them and be with them in Heaven without that disgusting vile evil thing we call sin? Wouldn't it be better to see how life is with them in Heaven?
i had a terrible childhood. Not only physically abused but also emotionally. I did hate them. But i never retaliated and i'm trying to let go now because i want to follow the Lord.
Thank you for making this. I recently got saved, and my time before God is sad. I'm realizing more and more about Christianity. And how I grew up was not how I was supposed to grow up. I was physically abused, hated for being fat, and always silenced. If I spoke up then I got in trouble or had the Belt with my hands on the weight bench. Trauma, except I want to move forward. There was good and bad in my life, but to be called a liar for everything I say gives me a new perspective. And it's hurtful. My parents always said to man up to my faults, except when I try to express the past life. She puts ear bods in. I want counciling and repair. I pray and pray for healing
I pray you and so many of us get healing new revelations and restoration financial stability with God protection in the mighty name of Jesus Amen I pray we softens our hearts to forgive mercy grace love wisdom knowledge guidance I pray the lord turns all that was evil into good for his glory in Jesus mighty name Amen
@@learningpeace9788 More advice and resources please please , I'm dying here, I moved out and keeping contact to a minimum, but cant get rid of the emotional and mental connection. It's affecting my whole life, I keep feeling his energy coming towards me and everytime we happen to meet or just see him for a couple minutes it all re-emerges ..... If you have any resources to share or advice please help
My Mother is 58 years old, she's constantly, trying to bible guilt trip me, on my ear rings, nose rings & tattoo's, trying to control my life on every thing........
The Holy Ghost has a Tattoo and a Pierced Ear in Twain. Read the Holy Bible and put it to thy heart, I will hone thy sword to a Razor Edge with the Sword of My Spirit, Take up the Shield of Faith & Know for Certain who Exactly the Saviour is And I will Record My Mighty Name on thy Helmet of Salvation, Gird thy lions with the Belt of Truth, And on thy Feet step into the Boots of Peace.
Lord I am giving the abuse and pain given to me , I am giving it to you Lord. I am not holding it oh Lord. You Lord deal with it. B''H, Christ, Jesus, Amen.🙏🏿🇮🇱
That is my situation now with my dad as well. He has violently abused me despite being a pastor of a church. He lost his job because of it. But he still would beat me up. I have lived a huge hell because of it, and had to move out. That was such a difficult process! I tried to reconcile but he is not open. I am still having effects on my life, but thankfully I am still going to church and such. My relationship with God hadn't been perfect because of it but somehow God has sustained my relationship with him, for which I am thankful. Anyway what a wonderful reply. Will treasure it!
Is it mental abuse when your parents embarrase you in public and act like you don't have feelings or emotions .And when you tell them that you are going through depression and anxiety and they act like it doesn't exist and never ask what is happening and what your going through and it makes you upset because it seems like they don't care about you . And I told them that ever since I moved into my bedroom I've been getting nightmares and in my other room I rarely had nightmares and my parents arnt taking this seriously .I don't know who to talk to besides God or my friends but my friends can't help much and I know God can help but I won't get a direct answer .Because these are the things I'm going through 😢😦😧
I'm going through this right now and it's hard. I'm 18, just graduated high school with distinction and other great things. I got into a Christian private school that I know will benefit me for thr long run. I know my purpose and I know the plans God has for me. However, I made a mistake and now I have no summer break. I dont know what's going on but I'm willing to trust in the Lord 110%. I know everything will work out but right now in my flesh it seems like there's no way out. I know my parents truly love and care for me but there are problems. My family doesn't believe the things I've been trying to say. They think I'm overreacting and making something bigger than what it is. Right now I'm going through a season of suffering and I know I'm also going through spiritual warfare. I'm not angry or hateful towards my parents. They're not my enemy. I know who the real enemy is. I just know I have to completely submit myself to them even if they are in the wrong. I have to continue to submit myself to God and stay in his presence.
My father was cruel, abusive, he hurt me physically and emotionally more than I could ever have imagined possible and then bullied and intimidated me to keep it silent and put on an act like everything was okay. I confronted him respectfully as a young adult and he was remorseful for all of two seconds, before getting angry and denying it. He then began to think someone might have found out in the church about his behaviour, he doubled down on his bullying and intimidation and covertly placed notices around my house inferring I should be stoned to death using passages of the bible. He then gave false testimony against me and the church family whom I was consulting became convinced that I was demon possessed. Rather that than believe I was abused by their Christian friend. It is still not resolved but I have handed it to the Lord and am thankful he gives me peace despite the lingering effects of the trauma.
I let my parents see the inner wounded child that has daily panic attacks and high anxiety I showed them how my unresolved trauma represents itself in my life over and over again. I though my mother would finally be able to see my pain. She told me that every child is born evil and told me to leave because she thought my emotions were caused satan.
Yes. I think it is something like, you should be willing to talk to them and be with them forgivingly. But if they keep doing it, you point it out. And if they don't listen, you love them from a distance and be the authority in the relationship. That requires letting go, and let him stay in the dirt he's not willing to see he's in and giving yourself to God, and that's hard. In some relationship I have I have this dynamic that someone is constantly being sneaky like Judas, but I am the bigger one, preaching and seeing through the behaviour, what's underneath and already forgiving while pointing it out. Preaching is saying what they are doing wrong in love, while dying to self and crucifying your flesh and being thankful for their soul, rather than for the outer appearance of their person. People may reject it or interpret it as hate, but that is their choice. Having said that, I still need to apply this fully, or seek through how to fully have this, with my parents. I think it's certainly harder to get there with your parents. But let's believe God he will guide us into this dynamic. I believe it is his will. Pray for me also.
I feel so much of the church has been responsible for giving some very toxic and enabling 'advice'. We should seek to forgive..that is manditory....but to seek reconciliation is another matter. To reconsile is to desire for the relationship to go back to what it was before, and in many cases that is not possible. Jesus Himself even said that houses will be divides for his namesake, and let's be honest sometimes for other reasons as well..such as continual unrepentant gaslighting and down toxic manipulative behavior. I really like what Mr. Piper said here. He differentiated forgivness (again not an option) with reconciliation.
I excommunicated my mother and left Christianity 9 years ago because of parental abuse and I lived a constant fear of God it drove my anxiety so bad to the point that I almost ☠myself.
There are times that God prohibited the children of israel for obeying their parents. For their parents is against God and will teach their children their wrong ways. Ezekiel 20:18-19 - "I said to their children in the wilderness, “Do not follow the statutes of your parents or keep their laws or defile yourselves with their idols. I am the LORD your God; follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws." That verse is very compatible with Mathew 23:9 which says : "And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven." It means that we must know God more as our true father rather than our earthly parents. In fact, it is biblical to go against our own father and mother IF we are in the right position to go against them! Jesus supported this that if we love our earthly parents more than him, we cannot be his servants (Matthew 10:37) Jonathan went against his own father, King Saul. He thwarted all his father's plan to kill David. As we know, David is like our cornerstone of faith. Jesus came from David's bloodline. If David was killed, which bloodline would Jesus be manifested in his flesh form? Jonathan did not recognize king Saul as his father, but he view him as an enemy of God. Jonathan knew that God's favor is upon David therefore he recognize God more as his father rather than Saul Not surprisingly, Jonathan fought his father even got mad at him. He was also ashamed on his father for what he is doing upon David 1 Samuel 20:30-37 The problem with christianity nowadays is that their book contains a lot of RADICAL statements that are unacceptable to some people. Sad to say, these RADICAL statements are not being taught in churches today! It is forgotten and the bible had been over domesticated for decades like these "Honor your Parents" that will only teach one good side of the bible but it will not teach the radical sides like the verses that i've provided on the top which contradicted the good side of the bible. No wonder why there is a lot of RELIGIOUS ABUSE that are happening in christianity especially on this kind of topic. They will over domesticate the bible and use only the good side verses such as "Honor your Parents" in order to maltreat their children and push them into ungodly submission! There is nothing wrong being radical for it is says in Matthew 10:16 - "Be innocent as doves, but be wise as serpents." You cannot be an over domesticated dove on everything for you will get caught into a lot of traps by a lot of terrible situations. That's why we are also commanded to be radical snakes!! We must be wise not to be caught into manipulative tactics by an abusive person who will use the bible as a weapon to bash our head off! I'm really disappointed at John Piper for he cannot provide a proper answer for situations like this. Over domesticated by Honor your Parents, Unconditional Forgiveness and Ungodly submission.
The thing that bothers me is that my parents are Christians. And while I do want their sins to be forgiven, I still want consequences. I don't want them in heaven believing that what they did to me is anything except abusive. I don't want them to spend eternity blindly believing that they were good parents. I want them to know how abusive they were and appreciate God's forgiveness (and my forgiveness) even more. They refuse to see their abuse that way and it bothers me a lot.
💔🖐️Respect them but don't get too close. Narcissistic parents don't change. 🎯🥊 ☝️But for the sake of your own well-being 👇✝️✍️ ... "and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us;"...
Look up the word "rebuke" in the Greek. Part of the definition is "to honor." Jesus rebuked the Pharisees in Mat 23 and He wasn't meek and mild. "Christian" parents who abuse their children are WOLVES. If they won't acknowledge or repent of their abuse, hand them over to the Living God.
So lets God do the revenge. And pray the rebellion I did as a child God doesn't judge me in kind. Parents are instruments of God. I read that General Macarthur's mother was a harsh punisher. She watched over him even when he was a west point. I think we forget that a male child needs certain pressures for him to be complete.
I’m going through a rough season with my mother! She suffers from severe OCD, and probably other undiagnosed mental health issues. Growing up, we had a good relationship. We were like best friends. Now I realized this is because I listened to her obediently. As I started to get older, I noticed her flaws. Her anger! From age 14, I used to get physically hit. Pulling my hair, slapping me across the face, screaming at me. I started setting boundaries when I was 22, but she didn’t like that. In 2013, she broke the bridge of my nose. Over the years, it was tough but from 2018 it got much better but now it doesn’t feel good again. She verbally abuses me and never says sorry. She treats me horribly and because I get hurt and angry, sometimes I use bad language towards her. I’m exhausted! I feel defeated. I don’t know if I can honour her, it’s tough for me. Please, someone pray!
This is literally my exact life situation. I feel super bad for what I say, but I’m only reacting to their anger because they are always bothering and picking at me. She also slapped and pulled my hair before and let my uncle slap me and attack me. And also took my 2 bunnies away from me because I have a boyfriend and am very strong and successful. They hurt me by taking what I love my animals away from me when I was gone just to hurt me. I will never see my bunnies again
I can’t take in no more my mom is destroying my mental health I’m 17 I can’t do anything now she wants me to live with her until I get married I can’t I want to move out now I keep trusting God it hurts so much idk what to do
Mom and I cut off abusive family because we couldn't take it anymore. None of this is your fault. My grandma tried to kill us and still makes everything out to be everyone else's fault. They will make you feel guilty because they just want to use you. We are no longer around her either. Sometimes you have to stay away and pray for them from a distance. That is not a sin. Regarding your life right now and where you would go and what to do, please watch a sermon called The Believer's War Room by Dr. Charles Stanley regarding prayer and God's specific will for things. God can do anything and can send good things your way. You don't have to wander this way or that all the time and just hope for the best. The Holy Spirit as a guide can tell us things we don't even know if we make the quiet time to listen! Perhaps that sermon I told you about, plus Listening to God would help. By the way that preacher was abused and he never made it seem like abuse is our fault or that it's a sin to want to be free from it. God has also given him miracles too. God is a good parent!
Children obey your parents is the only scripture my father held on his lips all the time.Its very quenching.It caused me to quietly watch my mom get beaten until she passed away.Even when she was suffering from cancer,she was beaten without slightest consideration.To my Pastor father,my mom and I were merely punch bags.He wud bring home all his frustration and let it out on me and my mom.I was beaten until i was 27years old.I could go on and on but i have to stop coz i am overwhelmed by pain of having to live thru all of the abve and more.Rightnow he is 74 years old man with a broken leg,confined to bed,being taken care of by me.I do see a light at the end of the tunnel and my hope is Christ.
It is naive to believe that parents who don't acknowledge abuse will actually listen to an adult child who approaches them with this, no matter what manner the adult child uses to approach them. Sometimes the price is too high emotionally.
I have a question, is it biblically wrong for a child to point out to their parent if the parent did something wrong? For example, if the parent raged at someone for a wrong reason, I would mention to them that it was rude to do so, and would mention a couple of bible verses related to that topic... Is it wrong to acknowledge/point it out? Is it disrespectful and dishonorable? I would greatly appreciate some biblical answers...
I believe in a good harmonious relationship, children can always point out to their parents what they have done wrong. Of course in the spirit of gentleness and honesty not out of hypocrisy and pride like what we saw in Ham when he shamed his father Noah in Genesis. It is all about respect and love between people because in the end we are all human beings who will face God oneday.... Quoting Paul's Galatians 6:1, he writes "Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; looking to yourself so that you also aren’t tempted”. Hope I helped brother, may YAH's spirit guide you...
My dad lies and does horrible things to me but always point out that you have to honor your father and mother. He turns down any problem I have and makes me feel crazy. I forgive him and love him but don’t want to be near/talk to him anymore.
John Pipers shows a complete detachment from reality spewing scripture out of context. Many times in an abusive situation with somebody in Authority like a Parent they refuse to see any wrong doing and condemn the one they have abused, the only one anguished by the whole affair is the abused child and the coals are upon his head. When you spew these passages out of context you make a victim feel that Gods Natural Law is coming down on them and that they are infact the ones in the wrong
Let me be the one to tell you that you’re not wrong, for feeling this way. When you are hurt by anyone, run to Jesus and let him wrap you in His arms and love on you, because He feels your pain. But also, as a Christian, you have to look behind the natural things. It’s possible that God might want you to help them change. Pray for them, and honestly do your part by loving them, even though it’s hard. God will give you strength. I’m writing this with swollen eyes from crying, just after a hard day full of arguments with my parents. I can imagine how much it hurts, but Jesus does want you to forgive and love on them. I know it can seem like when people talk about this, they don’t care about your pain at all. But if you treat them the same way, you will accept the devil’s plan and it will only hurt you. Anyways, I really am sorry that you are going through this 💔
@@Chryslerdealership i needed to here this so much, Thank God for allowing me to read this, i’m a bit late but i’m also behind the screen with swollen eyes from crying and just from being so exhausted, i was so angry earlier after the argument and i was even allowing myself to build a hatred towards my family but, i won’t God has a plan and He wants us to remain still and trust that he will do what seems impossible to us
Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. It doesn't mean subjecting yourself to more abuse. Matthew 18:6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
I love my father and I always respected him for his direct demeanor. He never told me what I wanted to hear but what I need to hear. However, there is countless time where he would critique every flaw in my life and compare me to my peers which really put me down. I feel like money has really gotten to his head to where now he believes all his worth is from riches. I’m not innocent I’ve done wrong too but man there is no genuine and peace in our relationship.
My Christian Mom and Step Dad are getting divorced because they no longer love each other and no longer can stand to be with each other. Neither cheated on each other, it’s just selfishness..am I enabling them by physically helping them move to different homes?
parents need to learn how to apologize to their children and put down the pride. my dad had a messed up childhood and little to no relationship with his dad and me, his son, has little to no relationship with him. he was never emotionally available or ever considerate of my feelings and was always very provocative, unaccepting, and deflective. i have respect for my dad in a deep sense where i know his pain but i have a strong disliking for him close to hatred and that’s where i need to get this checked with God. his terrible childhood should not bleed into his kids lives because that is not our fault or problem we are his kids. i take my faith extremely seriously but this wound feels a little fresh as my dad hurt me a day after my birthday which was 3 days ago.
My dad was physically abusive w my sister when we were kids. He no longer is physically abusive but mentally and , emotionally abusive. I am sick of this n I'm treated as the scapegoat. He's happy as long as I don't challenge him or speak up when he is rude. I wish it was never like this and I am the one who sought reconciliation not him I. Guess he thinks just a I'm sorry card would work and things would be great. I have lil contact w him out of fear he will rage at me. He wonders why I don't talk to him or ask about him. He sounds delusional. I feel alot free and giving him to God.
I want to know how much contact I should have as an adult with my manipulative controlling mother. I mean I do appreciate her help with occasional babysitting my young kids but not the verbal abuses. I am in a dilemma.
You can try setting a boundary with specifying how she can talk to you and your children. If she breaks that boundary, you are prepared with a consequence such as she doesn’t get to see the children that week. You stick to the consequence. If she continues to violate the guidelines you set to keep your family safe, limit contact or go no contact. Ignore the tantrums and block her on phone/social media as necessary. Be prepared to hear from others about what a bad parent you are for not letting the children have a relationship with grandparent. That is also manipulative and gossip. Don’t believe those who say keeping a relationship with an abusive person is in your best interest. It is not.
I've struggled my entire life with handing it to God, and being unsettled. Yo-yoing why is it a struggle to keep the forgiveness in my heart? Should I stay away to stop the piling up of an never ending piling up of an abuse after another, and another, esc.....
I think culture has a big part to it. I remember as a child, mom and dad would tell me to get the slipper that I would be spanked with. I never fought against it bc I knew I did something wrong. But it did teach me at an early age that love is conditional. I learned what pleased my parents and what displeased them and I knew that if I disobeyed them I’d be run thru a torture guilt trip discipline session from hell. And that was a great motivator not to disobey.
The slipper??? The slipper to get spanked???? What is that real??? That's all you had was a slipper nah I'm mad all over again I wish my mom told me get slipper,it was more like get the switch off the tree, pick the leaves off and it better not be a small branch or it was worse,thence proceeded to beat me buck naked in the tub full with water and then put alcohol in the water so I WOULDN'T welp up ...but seriously I'm sorry that happened to u any abuse is unnecessary and lazy parenting
Agree about cultural thing affecting they way they raise us, i donnt agree with violence, violence parenti just going to raise another violence adult, but we just need to unlearn that so our child dont suffer them same But we also need discipline our children and not over spoiled them too
I do not have problem when my father verbally abuse me but I can't t control myself when verbally abuse my mom! I just cannot then I regret later but he always does this and I am tired Idk how should I act I don't want to be angry on my dad but I also don't my mother to suffer because of him😢😔😔😔
I agree to an extent but disagree with staying allowing their toxicity or pain to keep being inflicted. Churches and pastors are clearly not trained in boundaries and Narcissistic behavior.
It didn’t seem to suggest staying and allowing the abuse to continue to me. If reconciliation is not achieved hand it over once and for all. That doesn’t mean you have to stay for more abuse. I think when we hand it over to God, we are free to move, knowing it’s taken care of. We don’t have to be the one to either stay and try to fix it or leave out of anger. We can maturely move with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, with our faith in He who will handle it all according to His will.
Its very hard. Showing them love back and forgiveness will show them the better way. Also parents can be taught. They need to learn. Same with older people that are racist. They need to be taught that thats wrong.
I'm very prepared when coming to videos like these to feel that they do an injustice to the matter or even that they're almost defending or minimising the abuse. I was pleasantly surprised by how good and true this one was. My only question is why the fruit of any "Christian's" life would be to abuse their children and then deny or minimise it...
When you initially make it mainly about whether the demeanor of the victim is perfect, you are setting things up to potentially excuse repeat abuse/traumatization coming from the parents, who have likely not changed, which just makes things worse. But the rest of it is spot on.
Not enough content out there about being a christian with toxic christian parents that use scripture against you, condemn, and blame you for everything.
The fact that my parents always use the “children obey your parents” scripture against me but never read the scripture right after that says “fathers don’t provoke your children” 😪
Fr
Exact same argument I had with my father
Exactly and the commandment that says Honor your father and mother doesn't mention love at all. I find that to be kind of telling from God but maybe that is just my opinion.
These parents want you to obey God when it comes to them but they don't obey God when it comes to the children
@@allaboutmoviesallaboutmovi8545 Right on!
Pray for my financial stability so that I can move out of my toxic parents house to honour them by keeping my distance. I tell them what they did that is offensive and they will get angry deny it and flip the script. I’ve had enough all they focus on my entire life was honour your parents but ignore the whole don’t provoke your children to wrath. I’m 26 and I’ve had enough I just want peace, today I’ve made the decision to interact the least that I can with them.
@Angel Agbettor thank you
You will find your peace. Pray every morning and ask for God to guide you and forgive you of your hurt and pain. I am in a similar situation and God has opened many doors for me. He will do the same for you, look for the opportunities that come and take the step, trust in him. God Bless.
Hey how’s everything going with that? Have you moved out yet?
Hey Maria are you okay?
try not to tell this to anyone.. what's happening inside the kitchen because just like your parents people will usually find them right and it will build even more hate in your heart. they will think if she thinks and talks about her parents like this imagine how she thinks and talks about us. but make no mistake they will smile and show fake support. im in same situation im 28. I live alone since 25, and I tried to tell people about my trauma.. and no I did not leave they kicked me out, took what's mine and gave it to my so called angel sister. but I got everything back with the help of my uncle he is better than father god bless his soul. I came back strong, with my own house income completely independent .. they try to downplay everything. I see no sign of true respect and etc. you either have to accept them the way they ae or just fuck them. they will never change ever!
My parents not only committed these acts but denied and laughed about it.
Im sorry to hear that friend, you are not alone!
Me too. May God help us heal and have mercy on all our souls.
Me too
they're either narcissists, sociopaths, borderlines or psychopaths- all are sadistic
Angie D, exactly. I was surrounded by these types growing up and I'm not sure what unconditional love even looks like. I just ask God in faith to show me that.
I walked away from my mother. At some point I realized I didn't have to endure her emotional abuse anymore. I enabled her way too long to keep abusing me ...as a child and as an adult. Never again. I forgave her...and I forgive her...again and again...I often need to pray that God protects my heart from resentment. It is a struggle, but I give it all to Him.
Thanks for writing this. Im 28 and a total mess from abuse, just now starting to recognize even worse than being sexually assaulted wqs growing up being spiritually abused by my parents, especially my mother. This helps me acknowledge wqlkimg away is the right thing to do, rspecially when they think i should thank them for the abuse. Theres nothing to talk about, time to heal
Same thing I'm going through. I know it is hard as i have felt it, but give the matter to God. He will sort it out.
Please pray for my financial stability as well and all the others like us who are suffering at the hands of those who were supposed to protect us.
Love from a distance. It’s strange that parents don’t ask for or require forgiveness but children must do so to walk with God. Very out of order...
2 ways to honor parents prayer and forgiveness. When parents choose to dishonor themselves, it is not the children's fault. The best way is to turn your parents over to God, and letting Him take over. Also, what ever it takes to break the toxic cycles, so that spiritual and emotional healing can take place. Another way, we can honor parents is not retaliating and seeking revenge against them. Walking away, I am proud of you for doing this. God will bless you for doing the right thing even though it is very difficult. Josie
@@roxannewashington6157 thankyou!
Riiiiight im blown.
I just prayed for my dad last night who is very selfish and unrepentant. Just because they sin, we don't have to follow them into sin. I still love him, and I want all of my family to inherit the kingdom of God one day, but he has to want it for himself. He has to see the error in his ways and repent, otherwise vengeance is the Lord's and he will one day hear "depart from me." Creating a healthy distance with boundaries is very important otherwise anger and resentment builds back up from just witnessing/experiencing how he is. I forgive and then he does something again...and again. I have to be in constant communication with the Lord when I'm around him. I ask God to help me find the balance between honor, love (because I honestly don't respect his character), and boundaries. I ask for forgiveness any time I lash back in a disrespectful way vs just an assertive way. I need to be slow to anger and slow to speak as the Word states. I can be angry but not sin. It's not easy though. God bless you.
And I find they deny it, then scapegoat me. They never willing they're delusional they'd prefer to see me in pain then admit their wrongs
Wow my mom is the same way she wants to be in control
Mine too. I am suffering badly. Please pray that I find a way through this pain. Sometimes I feel like giving up.
@@jayc3141 That must be very hard. I am praying for you!
Mine too and I am suffering and struggling with my faith, they made me question my faith in God. ☹️
So true!!!
Thank you to everyone in this comment section for showing that we are not alone when it very much feels like it
We're not alone, stay strong. ❤
I had a fight with my mum yesterday over something that had been bothering me for a while with regards to the way she treats me. She spun it out of control and now is bringing in family to tell them how I was talking down to her when she's sick... Thing is, I have been trying to reach out to her for a while and she has always shut me down, and last year, her and my dad physically abused me. Like if my siblings weren't there, I'd be dead type of abuse. I have tried everything. Talking to her, writing letters, having a mediator... All of it. But still, nothing. And I don't have a stable job and I can't afford to move out. Please. I've never asked for prayers in public. But ease you guys. Please pray for me. I'm trying so hard. Please.
I'm praying for you
Hey fellow Kenyan..I hope you're okay. I think God will comfort us. I'm saying I think because I'm typing this with swollen eyes but I don't want to be angry anymore.
I'm praying for you.
You are loved . I am praying for you . ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
God doesn’t want you to be their punching bag, GET OUT and STAY AWAY.
I don't know who needs this but the Lord placed it in my heart to share this...
The last time I was on this page,and on this particular video my eyes were swollen from crying because of something my father had said to me and I just broke down remembering everything he had said in my life.
After listening to this video I remember I felt overwhelming peace and I just prayed, let it go, forgave my dad and drew near to God since then. However, my dad has been extremely sick physically for months now but since yesterday he's been out of his mind, he keeps hallucinating, anxious, scared and he hasn't said a word or eaten for hours.. honestly it's scary and so sad to see him like this ..he can't stay away from my mum and as I type this he won't get in the house or sleep..he's scared of something we can't see or understand.
I love my dad but we never had the best relationship. However, seeing him like this I can't help but beg God to have mercy on him. I want my dad to see my kids and play with them, for him to get another chance to preach the gospel, to stay with mum into their old age.
What I'm trying to say is that God is our only hope, He's our only source of contentment. Human beings may fail us but we should not even rely on them that much in the first place. Forgive your parents, love them and seek God to fill that parental void.
I love you all and God bless you.
This was needed and so true. But God! Thank you for sharing.
God is dealing with your dad; Sheol is the place of judgment, maybe his soul will be saved on the day of the Lord.
You’re so wise, thank you so much. God will guide us through the dark times
I can't do it
@@A_m3ssyou can't but Jesus can. Remember you can forgive But doesn't mean you have to be around the abusers. Atleast that what I'm trying to find out. My Dad's a nasarsisit and I want to love him but I don't know if I should even be around him because I don't want to get manipulated/hurt again. So love from a distance and pray for them. Forgive the past and let God soften your heart
*(Little House on the Prairie, S3 Ep 9: 'The Bully Boys' illustrates proper biblical perspective and how well meaning Pastors sometimes get it wrong ) Jesus walked away from Toxic people. Healthy Boundaries and Righteous Indignation, are Not an 'unforgiving spirit'. Sometime's it's very hard to discern what God wants us to do? When do we 'Love the Unlovely' Or is Satan using our Compassion against us? When we should practice 'Unconditional Love'? God help us recognize if we are 'Throwing pearls before Swine'. Yes, we should love like God loves. LOVE IS DOING THE BEST THING FOR THAT PERSON. Sometimes God allows us to experience Consequences of our sin. Sometimes extending Long Suffering and Grace. Pray for Toxic people. It helps them and helps us. "But for the Grace of God there go I" The bible is a paradox. Yes, obey your parents and authorities, but bible clearly indicates we OBEY THE HIGHER AUTHORITY FIRST...God Himself. So if your parents or Boss asks you to do something against God's word...we must obey God's Word and the Holy Spirit's leading.
Yes! Not to sound weird but many of the churches are in fact compromised. There’s a lot of individuals who are into the craft and even outright satanism & lucifeianism that purposely preach the Word that way to cause confusion. If I had to put a percentage on it I’d say, generously speaking, around 85%-95%.
If you were to read the Word and compare it to what many of these false prophets preach you’d see the inconsistencies coming from these false prophets.
The abuse/pain thing goes into those particular principles that they believe in.
The truth of the matter is that the abuse is wrong and if the abusers don’t repent and make things right they will end up in hell. A person who does these things are not good people.
Yes ma'am amen
Amen
This comment was a revelation. Bless you
Can you give an example of Jesus "walking away from toxic people"? I'll bet you can't
I just googled "what would Jesus do with a hurtful mother" cause I am in so much pain wanting to talk to my mother about the lack of listening to me all my life, while I was walking a very special and needed a path to get the knowledge I wanted to have. With God and now fulltime with Jesus! thank you so much, I just took out the garbage saying: I am no longer holding on to the hurt I feel whenever trying to talk to my mother and she is just cutting me off yelling and sometimes laughing at my pain. Take it away from me, dear Jesus!
How have you been doing?
Abusers will never change or repent. they don't believe they've ever done wrong. In fact if you bring it up however respectfully, you're the perpetrator and they the victim. And they will exact revenge to the max - by whining and playing victim to your siblings and relatives. In the end you'll be isolated, ridiculed and smeared to no end.
As it is, victims of abuse tend to self-blame, twist themselves into pretzels to accommodate others and endlessly forgive to their own detriment. This leads to anxiety, depression, self-sabotage. And it is perpetuated by religious leaders who constantly preach 'forgiveness' but never hold the evil reprobate abusers accountable.
Forgiveness requires repentance. Otherwise as in Matthew 18, Rom 16, 1 Cor 5, shun them and protect yourself and your children from further abuse.
DIVINITY BAY You can change your course and undo the damage. First remove yourself from toxic / abusive relationships. Then start to nurture yourself by rest, nutrition, therapy, online support, art, music, etc. RUclips channels like BA recovery, narcissistic abuse recovery, Ross Rosenberg have been life changing for many people. You learn to 're-parent your inner child'. You will find peace and joy. Best wishes.
thats not always true, I've heard of it happening on the radio i used to have. a woman wrote about how her father abused her all her life and one day, Jesus opened his eye's and he begged and begged for her forgiveness but she wouldn't give it to him, although later on he died and eventually the Lord opened her eye's too and she regretted not being able to forgive him, either way, i hope the Lord blesses that family.
@DIVINITY BAY wow! You just described my life!!
True
So false. If abusers couldn't change, Christ's skeleton were in the tomb.
Get away from them or they will also harm your children.
Joy Mcnair I agree with you 💯 percent.
Joy Mcnair agree with you. I am dealing with them and I am doing the move already. Slowly but surely I will arrive at destination😊
Emma B fuck religion all lies, with no proof.
@@bobbyweirddick6556 Be silent in the mighty Name of Lord Jesus. Your claim is based on nothing. I can proof with science, history and archeology That Jesus did excist. And so does God!
@@AG-wb3db bitch learn fuckin science about animals turned into humans mill ago fuckin moron
My dad called me dramatic for pointing out that he is emotionally abusing me and he keeps threatening every therapist I’ve gone to so I can’t get help. I’m just feeling helpless against him
Hey Lunar, how are you doing now?
At least you had the courage to tell him
Don't tell him who you're seeing.
I am really sorry for that our Dad is like that too, but I do hope God will change his heart he claims to be a Christian but I think no true Christian should do such a thing that. Bothers other people and leave them no peace at all... But as I continue to slide through this comment section I am getting some answers.. i know it's been a year since you wrote this , but I do hope you're doing much better now. So much love from Peace
Your relationship with a therapist is confidential, remind them of that. Cut em off if needed. One day God will deal with things.
My parent's are not willing to ever admit the physical, mental, verbal, and spiritual abuse they did to me. Unfortunately, their brand of christianity enables their abusive behavior to me to this day. I think it would be more than healthy if this is the case for anyone reading this, to protect your own soul & heart from their reach in the future by limiting contact.
My story exactly and I'm 58.
100%, same for me, when i decided to distance myself from such toxic behavior, they started to say that I don't know how to communicate or share stuffs. that's just crazy
Me too. My parents were always verbal, emotionally and physically abusive to me and to this day, I’m 31 and still have to deal with it. It’s so hard as an only child I didn’t have anyone else to defend me, to understand how horrible they were and still are. I don’t blame God but I do wonder sometimes why he chose to give me parents like this? I have so many issues and I fully blame them for it. However I’m an adult so I’m in therapy trying to work through them because I refuse to suffer anymore because of them. It just sucks that I have to pay for their ‘sins’ by shelling out money for therapy, books etc it almost feels like I’m being punished for it as an adult even though I already was punished as a child. I could go on and on but it really hurts that they refuse to admit it.
I encourage you to left this abusive religion and avoid your parents. You don't need to let someone's to told you what need to believe.
It's the middle of the night. I've stayed up crying, thinking about the things my dad does to my mom, my siblings, and I. Every time we try to speak he flips it around and suddenly it's our fault. He's been gone all summer bc of his job but he comes back soon, and I'm dreading his return... I haven't cried all summer until tonight, and the only thing that makes me cry is that evil man. The worst part is, he's a chaplain, and always lectures us on how to be the perfect christian and all the things we're doing wrong. He's utterly blind to his failures. I don't even know how to tell him without getting frustrated, and now suddenly I'm just the emotional teenager. All of us are still living at home and are underage so there's no escape. I'll be the first to go... I feel so bad for my siblings having to stay with him. It's hopeless and we're so helpless, especially my mom bc he won't listen to her either and abuses her too. But anyway, I thought I was so alone until reading the comment section.
I love you. The pain won't last forever. God is with us. I don't know how I'll cope, but God will be carrying me and my family despite my dad's wickedness. We are not alone.
Thank you all in these comments!! I was on the verge of unaliving cause my parents made me feel crazy when I started realizing I was being manipulated and lied to. Getting that from you “parents” makes you fear that everyone you encounter is out to hurt you.
My mother would beat me up for being too tired to go to church or because I was caught chatting in class, anything really. And she denies it when I talk about it or she just says that I got what I deserved because I was a "tough child".
If she finally apologies, she'll say the same thing again few months or years later anyway. She can never change.
I had cancer two years ago I was 22, she said I was a "tough patient" because I "did not want to take medication". Well, I could not even talk because my throat was completely burnt inside out. She's keeps on saying that.
Whenever I cry to her about my medical issues that I'm still getting now (consequences of the harsh treatments), she will yell at me, won't let me talk, and will accuse me of being always complaining for nothing, not positive and comparing me to those who have died, saying at least I'm alive. Well, I feel like I'm being stabbed to death each time she talks to me like that.
I don't want to talk to her anymore, but the Bible says to honour your parents...I don't know what to do now...
Ursula Black that dont mean jack nothing dont ever talk her again of she says these hatwful things to u ever again
Just cut her off from your life, do not go back if she comes crying to you about “how sorry she is”
I know it's tough , I struggled myself with being adopted from a young age and I was always trying to get a pleasing word or acknowledgment of some sort or just to hear an HONEST heartfelt "I love you son " never happened , never will . I went through many injuries and surgeries myself and NEVER received any form of compassion or empathy , they would somehow turn empathy do to me from the doctor , relatives or other toward them . Trust me IT DOESN'T change , I am 50 years old now and distancing is the only way , but it may take time. You have to do it , and you must do what i did trust ALONE in JESUS CHRIST or you'll be scapegoated until your death may GOD and Jesus Christ bless you and keep you and guide you through it all Trust in Him alone he is helping me Faith in Him will work miracles it won't be easy but he will be there for you just don't give up , after all even JESUS corrected his earthly mother in Public.
Honour them by staying away from confrontation
Get rid of the toxic people in your life and speak to God trust me they just want to control you. That's it.
My parents think that they are representing God on earth according to the Bible. So they are allowed to swear at us and disrespect us but we are not allowed to do anything to upset them.
The only time in scripture Jesus lost His temper was when He flipped the tables of the money changers who were profaning His Father's house, as well as whipping them to chase them out.
While scripture does emphasize obedience to authority figures, I have yet to find a verse where Jesus rebuked a child to tears.
As an adult, I no longer shed a tear when I hear of a boomer parent dying. A plurality of the boomer generation will be dying alone in nursing homes most of them, with little to no contact from their children.
It does say something about God judging for idle words and cuss words are just that.
Facts
Yeah and they never change even they're weak and dying
Forgiveness doesn’t automatically create a relationship between the adult child and parent. Because my abusers are unrepentant and unwilling to own their sin, I will not allow them entry into my life as I will not aide in their sin of rebellion. This was not an easy decision but the Lord has given me peace to go forward and be in the land of the living. I must go about doing my Father’s business and warning others of the punishment to come if they reject Jesus. I want to tell others of His saving love for us. God is so good!
Parents never interested in talking about such things and then prefer to gaslight. All of this presupposes that one's parents are reasonable, rational people who want to change.
I would never approach them about anything (just me) because God is enough for me. I love them and pray for them and set my boundaries. Only God can change a heart, and our actions can be seeds.
Stay awayfrom them show love at a distance and pray for revelation as to what they are doing or have done
Absolutely agree
Sorry, but praying won't help with anything, nor has it ever helped.
@@dupisdisasterpiece1058 so true
Absolutly not agree for the "prayin" aka wasting time
Although I do not understand your situation, and I do not know every thing you have experienced... I highly encourage you to look up (on Google or something)... "Bible scripture about prayer" , there are exhaustive lists of verses talking about what God has said about prayer, and the attitude that is important to have when praying. I think it might really encourage you! (:
Because God does indeed answer prayer. The ultimate goal is for God to receive the glory for what He does. If we pray out of selfishness and were to receive it, I'd say that definitely risks us taking the credit for it (even if we had "good intentions"). God must take the credit each time. and we must believe that God will answer - no doubts. You'll find that there are scriptures that talk about this. One example about doubting is this: (James 1:6 ESV) "But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind."
And one other that makes us ask, "Is God not answering me because I am doing something God considers evil?" (1 Peter 3:12 ESV) "For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”
So i'll end here with this - Are you living your life apart from God in any way, or any other area of your life? This is not a criticism of you, but rather, I hope to spark some important questions within you. I learn new things all the time and am always amazed how messed up I am hahaha :) But it helps me grow, learn, and understand God much better! Hope this helps even a little.
~God bless!
Literally crying rn because they always assume and always think that the things im into (BTS) are the reason why I’m quiet, have anger issues, emotional, depressed, generally don’t smile and etc. I try to be my best for them but they just put me down. I just feel wronged.
Hello ARMY! :D I purple you
@Project AcuHope BTS is KPop band. :) They're really talented artists and super funny!
I know this comment is a year old but just in case, I highly recommend you start distancing yourself from kpop in general. They are literal idols, we shouldnt have any idols and in addition to that, there is very blasphemous and satanic symbolism in kpop music in general. It will be hard to let go but its possible.
I so appreciate this word of advice. Letting go and giving everything to God is not easy but it’s the only way to move on and overcome. My father abused me and my mother rejected me until her death. He died tragically but sad to say, I felt relief at not having to mask the truth. Mother treated me like I didn’t exist. One day as an adult I asked my mother if she ever thought about how her actions affected me. Her answer was no. I told her...Goodbye and we never spoke again. It was too painful to keep revisiting our on and off relationship. It had to stop. I don’t know if that was the best thing to do but I am learning to give up trying to understand and not feel pain, resentment and all that goes with it. I can do nothing on my own. Only with God can I forgive and let go. His grace is sufficient.
Do not forget. When you forget, abusers take advantage, and twist the blame of their wrongful actions onto you (saying you sinned and that they were the conduits of Jesus, etc). Do not forgive, because abusers who do not acknowledge the fact that they are guilty of doing atrocious acts to another human being will always find a way in their brains to defend their own actions, again by blaming you. The best way is to move forward, spread the awareness of not abusing your kids because of your individual beliefs, and built a better life than they did. Get a therapist, be a promoter of healthy childhoods. You may not find peace with your abusers, but you ultimately won't need to anymore.
hello cl Ng...I have 4 kids, and I was married for almost 20 years. my wife left me when my kids were teenagers, and my little girl was 4. my wife did not want are kids to have anything to do with me, because my wife was a screwed up person who left me for a man she worked with, and then she left him also. I have a wonderfull relationship with my oldest daughter and my granddaughter. my second oldest daughter all of a sudden 2 years ago, after I sent her a card just to let her know how much I love her, and she sent me 2 pages of hate. she said I was not there for her when she needed a father and things like this. these things are not true. I went to every one of her games, I played soccer with her on the weekends to help her out. when she got older I bought my kids moutian bikes so that I could have something that we could do together. she says that's a lie I never did that. I never hit my kids, I never abused them in sex, I never called them names ect.... the problem is that my ex wife took my kids away from me just when I was starting to deal with them as grown ups. I was not a perfect father, how could I be, for no man is perfect. but iam very HURT by her telling me all these bad things that are not true. my oldest daughter knows there not true, but still it hurts..IAM WRITTING THIS TO YOU CAUSE IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU HAD BAD PARENT? IF THAT IS TRUE WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU? I don't know how to fix my daughter when she wont talk to me. my oldest daughter said she is just angrey at the world, and she is just taking it out on me.
Forgive for your own soul. But dont go around them.
Agreed. Not forgetting doesnt mean holding a grudge. It just means protecting yourself from them doing the same toxicity again. Completely different things.
@@johndennis5182 I have a terrible relationship with my father. When I was younger he used to neglect me a lot and prefer my younger brother over me. He barely talked to me, got angry at me very easily, pushed me, didn't take an interest in what i did or liked, etc. I don't think he's ever asked me how I am, to be honest. He was very petty with me and would put huge consequences for minor actions I took. When i was 12 he refused to help me get citizenship in the country we were living in (I had my mom's country's nationality) because I didn't want to come out and help to look for my brother's skates in the garage. This sounds extremely ridiculous but that's because it is. My parents are divorced now and I've found that God has helped me to stop holding a grudge against him. He's my father now, a father to the fatherless! But I don't know, maybe talk to your daughter and try to understand how she feels and what she's thinking. God be with you :)
There is a part of me that wants my abuser to suffer with what I suffered with which I know is not of God. Please pray for me that I would forgive
Pour your heart out to God. Tell Him all the ugly stuff. If you think it, He knows anyway, so just have that frank prayer and He will change your heart and give you Justice His way.
My mom literally told me today that Satan is using me because I called out her behavior towards myself and my sister... but it was never Satan using her when she spent years telling me I'm awful, a freak, a b*tch, etc etc
I am in a similar situation, specifically towards my dad. He is an unbeliever and narcissistic. He believes he is a good person and doesn't believe he does anything wrong. He is a major lyer and sometimes I have to admit I snap at him. My mother on the other hand supports his behavior and says everything is because of his demons. I am really fed up and tired. For years my dad has abused me emotional and I have used food as a coping method. I have been abusing food for years and I am honestly sick of it.
Same here but my dad does believe in God. But he's like an "outward" showing Christian. I've used food as a coping mechanism for years. Even after getting saved last year, I struggle so much with it. Even when fasting I've eaten stuff I wasn't supposed to eat because I was 'fasting'. Because of binge eating, I have developed serious health issues and my parents barely even care. I'm researching so much about my health conditions and I'm trying to talk them into helping me but no luck. :( So who knows what's gonna happen?
I'm too sick and tired to even fight back. I wish I hadn't come into this world sometimes but I know I have a purpose. I just don't know what, how, why, when, where I'm gonna be and what I'll do.
So you're not alone you've got a sister in Christ here struggling with you❤✨
@@andreiafernandes1970 hey don't give up...we got this
For every abuser there is an enabler...I have the same issue with my father who has been able to manipulate and scapegoat me in order to avoid dealing with his own issues.
Hey, just wanted to say I'm sorry you are going through this, I also abuse food bc of stressors in my life! Check out a Ray Comfort video where he interviews people, he also has a video about how to deal with unsaved family bc we have to handle them differently. And, a tip on the eating, I drink tea to help keep me out of the junk food! Just go to the store and get several teas you may like, peppermint and black tea are really good! When I stay drinking my tea, it keeps me from eating junk! Love from your sister in Christ!
I thank God for this video and having this pastor speak through the holt spirit because I have suffered a long life with my abusive narcissistic parents who never ever admit they abused me when they did and I have tried to work with them but they refuse to work with me. So I’m only 20 but to be honest I can’t take the burdens of their life on to mine anymore. I give it all to God and I thank God that he has given me the strength to say Amen and move on because it really has affected my mental health. I know that they aren’t sorry for their mistakes so I know God will handle them and i will get justice some day especially in his way. Amen
My "Christian" parents right now are commanding me everyday to do something in peticular that goes against the word of God and they won't admit it. Also at the same time threaten to kick me out of the house if I don't listen, they use the honor your parents! Line... and I'm going to honor God first but it's so sad and stressful seeing how they compromise the word of God in so many ways everyday. I desperately need prayers guys...
Prayed for you! Maybe the sermon The Believer's War Room will help. It's about prayer and God's will. Your parents are not God!
What if the child still lives at home still? It then becomes more complicated and a more toxic situation. Now this child will spend majority of his prayer time praying for his parents who should be teaching him Godliness by example. Some parents are narcissist
Lord have mercy. Help us to love one another. God help us to forgive
@@janelee2918 nope. You should leave home once you're old enough. Break off the toxic relationship. Love from a distance
John Piper isn't answering the question.
Honoring your parents has nothing to do with blind obedience and submission to abuse.
Verbal and emotional abuse, or another form of narcissism I've dealt with. My father desires me to worship him. I don't know where he comes up with this, but when I was in severe physical need that I couldn't work physically, I asked for his assistance to my knee surgery. He said he would if I signed my house over to him. Once he sold it, there was to be 34k in profits. I never saw any of that money.
On the same year the house was sold, my dad kicked me out of the house, and bought 2 vehicles in excess of 100k but refused to help me get knee surgery.
What kind of abuse would you call this?
J.D. Matthias financial abuse? Being a fucking asshole abuse? That’s very unfair man I hope you recover from that in all the sense, and at least get a little bit of your money back. From my experience people like that have all kinds of lies and deceit, the best “honoring” I could do was just staying away. Don’t be bitter, maybe all the forgiveness you can do for now is not be mad, and if you can do that then great for you. Doesn’t mean he hasn’t screwed you over and you have a right to be stern with him about that. Pray that one day he’ll come to understand what he’s done.
I believe narcissistic/psychopathic abuse is fundamentally spiritual abuse, like you said that your father desires to be worshipped. It's the same old sin of Satan, wanting to be worshipped and obeyed instead of God.
Unforgivable and the psychological term for it is major betrayal.
I tried to tell my dad all the awful things he says to me isn’t right and hurts me a father is suppose to uplift his children and make them feel loved mine has mentally abused me so bad I suffer with severe depression and self worth his told me garbage and all sorts of bad Spanish bad words . His seen me cry and into depression and never has felt remorse for his actions his prideful .God says honor your mother and father but how can you honor a man who has hurt you the most in this life . Does God ever do justice and decipline or punish them ! All I have to say is sometimes I wished I was never brought into this world .
I can relate remorsefuly, I hate my father and mother not just because the bible tells me ( luke 14:26) but my father says the most ungodly things to me and my mother is a professional narcissist who has a skill to manipulate people against me yet flawed with men. My mother threatens me until my ears bleed and my voice is strained. I have little money to get out of the house but I continue to pray for them for it is written to love your enemies yet distance yourself from them, it is right to stay away from your fathers behavior for its such angry rubs on people as the bible states it. God Bless you and pray to your Father in heaven for strength and love.
Hey I’m going through the exact same thing, when I was a kid in 2nd grade I would be beat til I bled but if I told my mom he said I would get hurt worse, it scars me until this day. When I confront him now about everything he’s done, he says it never happened. When we argue I try to record especially when he says horrible things, I can’t do anything now but I really hope when I’m old enough or if my mom leaves him, I can use those videos in court, I’ve been hoping there is a way to press charges
God has shown mom and I to stay away from our family including our dad. Sometimes honor your parents means from a distance. Your dad isn't being who God wants him to be. God is a loving father and knows what a father is supposed to look like so He takes issue with it. He doesn't dismiss it and none of this is your fault. I've heard so many things about my dad: his life is falling apart now, whereas at first it just looked like he could do whatever he wanted and get away with it. It's scary. But I'm glad God kept us away and took my dad's place!
@@snorkchop8134wow I've now seen justice is served in the world! They're really nothing without anyone to abuse. They know eventually people will stay away from them, if they stay abusive. they know their fate yet still don't change.
I'm obviously here looking for biblical counsel and found what I needed. I'm a late bloomer and a first time mom, and my experience has taught me to train myself to apologize to my child for various mistakes and outbursts of emotion. Because when my child becomes an adult I want to readily be willing and able to reassure him that I was sorry then and just as sorry now for the lasting effect. Prayer request for my current situation please 🙏
Prayed for you! Maybe Dr Charles Stanley's sermons will help you. He has sermons on God as a father too.
Our stories are very similar. I always apologize to my kids when I'm wrong, overreact, or have bad days. I know I have my short comings and I'm willing to be held accountable by my children and. I make sure to validate them. I wish my parents could do that
I take care of my mother who is elderly and has mobility problems. I find myself getting angry at her and sometimes saying some regrettable things. She has always been emotionally manipulative and abusive. I feel that I forgive and forget until the next time she triggers me And it all comes back in that moment. How do I forgive when someone will not change? She has zero respect for boundaries or privacy. I've asked her thousands of times not to due certain behaviors that are upsetting to me. Hours later, she does it again. I am really struggling with this.
I needed this so badly. Thank you so much. I have come to God through abuse, and it brings me comfort to know that God loves me, forgives me for when I've reacted in anger, and that He can guide me in handling this the best I can. God taking that on His shoulders for me has helped me find peace tonight. I can only do what my conscience dictates and act as best I can, even if I stumble. I feel that God led me to this video, and that through you i have felt His support. I'm very grateful x
Parents like this are emotionally stunted. Making them feel good enough to empathize with you will never work. They need to recognize their own emotional infancy, bc they can’t accept it from someone who isn’t an established authority, who can make them feel safe and loved
Currently facing this issue. Thank you for the advice. Jesus should be guiding our very steps to confront these matters. The church needs to discuss these situations more often.
I am done honoring I have over honour. They are never wrong. Time to love myself and let God heal.
😔😔 Its like impossible for them to realize , because they always feel like this seniority / how they own me so they can do whatever they want to do and its okay.. I’m hurt , depressed & I just dont know what to do , but thank you for this vid :)
yep I can relate to the seniority thing. Just remember, your parents were toddlers once just like you once, and they grew up and had a child. That doesn’t make them right in everything, anyone can have a child.
My advice is to get a job as soon as you can, get an inexpensive vehicle, get some money up in savings, look for an apartment and move it as soon as you can, u less ur planning to go to a university or something. Then you get a long break away from them.
The sooner you get our, the sooner you can start the healing and forgiving process and you can fully move on with your life without your parents holding you back.
This stems from Western values set from the enemy, you will get protection, help and sanctuary the closer to God you get. Really love Him with all your heart, read his words from a Bible that's relevant to today's language. I read the Message bible but there are more. You will get answers and if you give your life to God and ask him to take away this, give to him to sort out and believe that he will you will it work with your own eyes. He loves you so much he will do anything for you as long as you accept Jesus as your only way to God. Seen it work over and over.
same way you deal with ANY abusers who deny abusing:
CUT THEM OFF. and get justice if possible. better not to involve the courts.
I’ve grown up with toxic, abusive, and very legalistic parents… it ruined all of their children. But they are so prideful that they take no responsibility in everything that happened and still happens for me and all of my siblings. It’s so opposite of the heart of Jesus… Yet they don’t care. We’re in the end times people!
What about parents who uses bible verses to defend themselves?
Saying children need to obey to parents and they don't even care next verse which is do not exasperate your kid since it is written before that.
They use old testament that children who disobey must get hit with stones.
Always referring to god saying "this is what God wants, god spoke to me that u need to do this " and if I say sth back they said I'm wrong cuz I'm not spiritually improved like them.
I even mentioned don't judge ppl first and look back yourself before you judge and they just yell at me saying I'm rude which ruins the order.
When I was about to move out they said I'm ruining the peace and those evil spirit will follow me.
My parents always curse me stop me doing anything I want to do.
Always accuse me to my siblings (they are favoritism) about what I did.
I'm so done. I lost my faith and about leave church because of this.
Anyone can help?
qqurii liii hi, I was in a similar situation as you when I was a teenager (currently in my 20’s now). All I can say, and this is really the most boring advice ever, but do well in school and gain your independence if possible. Focus on your own faith because at some point, you’ll find peace with it despite whatever craziness is going on around you. Don’t let your parents faith deter you from having your own. I had to learn, and tbh I’m still learning, how to forgive my parents for how they were and it’s HARD - to this day they haven’t changed. But it became a lot easier once I finally left and could create some healthy distance between us. Whether or not they’ll change is entirely up to the Holy Spirit - work on yourself and your faith as much as you can. I know it probably feels like you’re stuck and that you’ll never find a way out, but take it from me, one day you’ll be able to look back on all of it.
@@prismanticdunno8472 ✔️
Sounds like your parents are misquoting scripture and not listening to the Holy Spirit at all. In the New Testament, they tried to stone someone to death but Jesus would not let them. Also, what is this about your parents lying and saying they know what God wants you to do? They're not listening to God and they're trying to speak for God on your behalf? It doesn't work that way. They are not the Holy Spirit and they should have encouraged you to ask God what He wants instead of fabricating things that are not true for convenience. Spirits following you around? Where in the Bible does it say that Christians are vulnerable like that? The devil can influence us from the outside but he can't make us do anything. We have the protection of God. None of this sounds right... they aren't right. You don't have to listen to their lies regarding God, the Holy Spirit, Jesus, and the Bible. They are not God over you. Please watch some of Dr. Charles Stanley's videos regarding the Holy Spirit.
I moved out of my parents place when I was 18. I'm now happily married at 23 with a beautiful baby boy born 2 weeks ago. Today I had to have an inevitable conversation with my parents about honoring boundaries. (It's only been 2 weeks and my wife is still recovering - so like any normal person, our wishes were simply to respect this time as she recovers and as we navigate parenthood) The spirit of offense burst open through the hearts of my parents and I am left hurt deeply. I still really want my parents in their grandchilds life because I know it's important for us, but in a way where the entire family (husband + wife + grandchild) and their decisions
are respected and honored. I fear that if my words today fell onto deaf ears, I may have to make that decision as the leader of my home to take away valuable and quality time with us.
I know that there is no such thing as a perfect parent, but there is such thing as a loving and growing parent.
This was so profound and anointed. I can tell he fears the Lord and understands love looks like something. Thank you for this blessing
It just me and my mother left in our life... With her i get very anxious.. all my life i always obey her..
Except my college.. its been like 10 years i am still struggling to finnish it.. coz i grow up shy and introvert.. i grow up always compared with other kids.. and it made me feel scared coz it made me believe they r better than me.. plus when i was 19 i found out i was adopted.. it was so hard for me i had been depressed for decades.. if I dont accept Gid in my life.. i might be dead by now... but praise God.
Now.. im still trying my best to get my college degree done.. taking online class.. and it s so hard for me since october until now.. mother temper s so short.. so many workers from us left coz they all scared from her.. she got this strong words strong powerfull intense words to make u feel low.
And now.. it just me and mother n house... and all her intense temper..it so hard for me to convince myself not to absorbed it 😞 just few days ago i feel reborn.. i feel the spirit of anciety just finally kick out in my life.. but my mother temper i cnt get out from it.
If i go.. who will be with her..
Our relatives is also scared of her.. they only likes to hangout when they got free food free shopping free travelling with her..but no one likes to be ready to absorb her intense energy..
😞may God protect us from enemy...and keep our house harmonious
I really really really really really really really really really really HATE MY PARENTS FOR ALL THE ABUSE THEY DID even during my adult life. But be the better man. Be Christ like. Pray for them and forgive them. Wish for them not to be denied in Heaven but be glorified along with you. They are your first loves anyways. Wouldn't it be better to see them and be with them in Heaven without that disgusting vile evil thing we call sin? Wouldn't it be better to see how life is with them in Heaven?
Jerboa Go can't have hate bro hate is murder in your heart. Idk if you were being serious or not . but hate is a strongg word
i had a terrible childhood. Not only physically abused but also emotionally. I did hate them. But i never retaliated and i'm trying to let go now because i want to follow the Lord.
Jerboa Go try your Best bro. Always seek the Lord and Obey. He knows our pain and struggles. I will Pray for all of us. God Bless
in the same place, pray for me too.
Dont worry they are going to hell, they are reprobates...
Thank you for making this. I recently got saved, and my time before God is sad. I'm realizing more and more about Christianity. And how I grew up was not how I was supposed to grow up. I was physically abused, hated for being fat, and always silenced. If I spoke up then I got in trouble or had the Belt with my hands on the weight bench. Trauma, except I want to move forward. There was good and bad in my life, but to be called a liar for everything I say gives me a new perspective. And it's hurtful.
My parents always said to man up to my faults, except when I try to express the past life. She puts ear bods in. I want counciling and repair.
I pray and pray for healing
Read the Bible for yourself consistently. You'll learn more and mature as a Christian. I pray for your healing in Jesus Name.
I pray you and so many of us get healing new revelations and restoration financial stability with God protection in the mighty name of Jesus Amen I pray we softens our hearts to forgive mercy grace love wisdom knowledge guidance I pray the lord turns all that was evil into good for his glory in Jesus mighty name Amen
This is called narcissism. Lots of research about co-dependency and setting godly boundaries with them can help!
Narcissistic people don't respect boundaries though.
@@Godlywoman88 Not with them, but psychologically and emotionally. Cutting contact is often the best approach.
@@learningpeace9788 More advice and resources please please , I'm dying here, I moved out and keeping contact to a minimum, but cant get rid of the emotional and mental connection. It's affecting my whole life, I keep feeling his energy coming towards me and everytime we happen to meet or just see him for a couple minutes it all re-emerges ..... If you have any resources to share or advice please help
@@h.k.7952 I'm in the same boat, currently reading Conquering Shame and Codependency.
My Mother is 58 years old, she's constantly, trying to bible guilt trip me, on my ear rings, nose rings & tattoo's, trying to control my life on every thing........
The Holy Ghost has a Tattoo and a Pierced Ear in Twain.
Read the Holy Bible and put it to thy heart, I will hone thy sword to a Razor Edge with the Sword of My Spirit,
Take up the Shield of Faith & Know for Certain who Exactly the Saviour is
And I will Record My Mighty Name on thy Helmet of Salvation,
Gird thy lions with the Belt of Truth,
And on thy Feet step into the Boots of Peace.
Lord I am giving the abuse and pain given to me , I am giving it to you Lord. I am not holding it oh Lord. You Lord deal with it. B''H, Christ, Jesus, Amen.🙏🏿🇮🇱
You wait until they get Alzheimers, they won't know you and they'll be very nice to you!! Been there, doing that.
feed them coconut oil, it wont cure it but it will reverse it to some degree.
That is my situation now with my dad as well. He has violently abused me despite being a pastor of a church. He lost his job because of it. But he still would beat me up. I have lived a huge hell because of it, and had to move out. That was such a difficult process! I tried to reconcile but he is not open. I am still having effects on my life, but thankfully I am still going to church and such. My relationship with God hadn't been perfect because of it but somehow God has sustained my relationship with him, for which I am thankful.
Anyway what a wonderful reply. Will treasure it!
😊😂🤣
Keep thinking about that too
Is it mental abuse when your parents embarrase you in public and act like you don't have feelings or emotions .And when you tell them that you are going through depression and anxiety and they act like it doesn't exist and never ask what is happening and what your going through and it makes you upset because it seems like they don't care about you . And I told them that ever since I moved into my bedroom I've been getting nightmares and in my other room I rarely had nightmares and my parents arnt taking this seriously .I don't know who to talk to besides God or my friends but my friends can't help much and I know God can help but I won't get a direct answer .Because these are the things I'm going through 😢😦😧
It's true. Unforgiveness is a burden.
I hate it every time there's a parent that reads the scripture of "honor and obey your parents" so they can do what they want to their kids
I'm going through this right now and it's hard. I'm 18, just graduated high school with distinction and other great things. I got into a Christian private school that I know will benefit me for thr long run. I know my purpose and I know the plans God has for me. However, I made a mistake and now I have no summer break. I dont know what's going on but I'm willing to trust in the Lord 110%. I know everything will work out but right now in my flesh it seems like there's no way out. I know my parents truly love and care for me but there are problems. My family doesn't believe the things I've been trying to say. They think I'm overreacting and making something bigger than what it is. Right now I'm going through a season of suffering and I know I'm also going through spiritual warfare. I'm not angry or hateful towards my parents. They're not my enemy. I know who the real enemy is. I just know I have to completely submit myself to them even if they are in the wrong. I have to continue to submit myself to God and stay in his presence.
The most important words I've ever heard.
Sooo basically do nothing and hope it will resolve itself. Got it.
*pray
I come here to look for an answer to resolve the pain in my life, and I found an answer!
My father was cruel, abusive, he hurt me physically and emotionally more than I could ever have imagined possible and then bullied and intimidated me to keep it silent and put on an act like everything was okay. I confronted him respectfully as a young adult and he was remorseful for all of two seconds, before getting angry and denying it. He then began to think someone might have found out in the church about his behaviour, he doubled down on his bullying and intimidation and covertly placed notices around my house inferring I should be stoned to death using passages of the bible. He then gave false testimony against me and the church family whom I was consulting became convinced that I was demon possessed. Rather that than believe I was abused by their Christian friend. It is still not resolved but I have handed it to the Lord and am thankful he gives me peace despite the lingering effects of the trauma.
I let my parents see the inner wounded child that has daily panic attacks and high anxiety I showed them how my unresolved trauma represents itself in my life over and over again. I though my mother would finally be able to see my pain. She told me that every child is born evil and told me to leave because she thought my emotions were caused satan.
Very good answer, but doesn't clearly address whether you should avoid parents if having contact with them would mean further abuse
Yes.
I think it is something like, you should be willing to talk to them and be with them forgivingly. But if they keep doing it, you point it out. And if they don't listen, you love them from a distance and be the authority in the relationship. That requires letting go, and let him stay in the dirt he's not willing to see he's in and giving yourself to God, and that's hard.
In some relationship I have I have this dynamic that someone is constantly being sneaky like Judas, but I am the bigger one, preaching and seeing through the behaviour, what's underneath and already forgiving while pointing it out. Preaching is saying what they are doing wrong in love, while dying to self and crucifying your flesh and being thankful for their soul, rather than for the outer appearance of their person. People may reject it or interpret it as hate, but that is their choice.
Having said that, I still need to apply this fully, or seek through how to fully have this, with my parents. I think it's certainly harder to get there with your parents. But let's believe God he will guide us into this dynamic. I believe it is his will.
Pray for me also.
I feel so much of the church has been responsible for giving some very toxic and enabling 'advice'. We should seek to forgive..that is manditory....but to seek reconciliation is another matter. To reconsile is to desire for the relationship to go back to what it was before, and in many cases that is not possible. Jesus Himself even said that houses will be divides for his namesake, and let's be honest sometimes for other reasons as well..such as continual unrepentant gaslighting and down toxic manipulative behavior. I really like what Mr. Piper said here. He differentiated forgivness (again not an option) with reconciliation.
I excommunicated my mother and left Christianity 9 years ago because of parental abuse and I lived a constant fear of God it drove my anxiety so bad to the point that I almost ☠myself.
There are times that God prohibited the children of israel for obeying their parents. For their parents is against God and will teach their children their wrong ways.
Ezekiel 20:18-19 - "I said to their children in the wilderness, “Do not follow the statutes of your parents or keep their laws or defile yourselves with their idols. I am the LORD your God; follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws."
That verse is very compatible with Mathew 23:9 which says :
"And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven."
It means that we must know God more as our true father rather than our earthly parents.
In fact, it is biblical to go against our own father and mother IF we are in the right position to go against them! Jesus supported this that if we love our earthly parents more than him, we cannot be his servants (Matthew 10:37)
Jonathan went against his own father, King Saul. He thwarted all his father's plan to kill David. As we know, David is like our cornerstone of faith. Jesus came from David's bloodline. If David was killed, which bloodline would Jesus be manifested in his flesh form?
Jonathan did not recognize king Saul as his father, but he view him as an enemy of God. Jonathan knew that God's favor is upon David therefore he recognize God more as his father rather than Saul
Not surprisingly, Jonathan fought his father even got mad at him. He was also ashamed on his father for what he is doing upon David 1 Samuel 20:30-37
The problem with christianity nowadays is that their book contains a lot of RADICAL statements that are unacceptable to some people. Sad to say, these RADICAL statements are not being taught in churches today! It is forgotten and the bible had been over domesticated for decades like these "Honor your Parents" that will only teach one good side of the bible but it will not teach the radical sides like the verses that i've provided on the top which contradicted the good side of the bible. No wonder why there is a lot of RELIGIOUS ABUSE that are happening in christianity especially on this kind of topic. They will over domesticate the bible and use only the good side verses such as "Honor your Parents" in order to maltreat their children and push them into ungodly submission!
There is nothing wrong being radical for it is says in Matthew 10:16 - "Be innocent as doves, but be wise as serpents."
You cannot be an over domesticated dove on everything for you will get caught into a lot of traps by a lot of terrible situations. That's why we are also commanded to be radical snakes!! We must be wise not to be caught into manipulative tactics by an abusive person who will use the bible as a weapon to bash our head off!
I'm really disappointed at John Piper for he cannot provide a proper answer for situations like this. Over domesticated by Honor your Parents, Unconditional Forgiveness and Ungodly submission.
The thing that bothers me is that my parents are Christians. And while I do want their sins to be forgiven, I still want consequences. I don't want them in heaven believing that what they did to me is anything except abusive. I don't want them to spend eternity blindly believing that they were good parents. I want them to know how abusive they were and appreciate God's forgiveness (and my forgiveness) even more. They refuse to see their abuse that way and it bothers me a lot.
💔🖐️Respect them but don't get too close. Narcissistic parents don't change. 🎯🥊
☝️But for the sake of your own well-being 👇✝️✍️
... "and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us;"...
Look up the word "rebuke" in the Greek. Part of the definition is "to honor." Jesus rebuked the Pharisees in Mat 23 and He wasn't meek and mild. "Christian" parents who abuse their children are WOLVES. If they won't acknowledge or repent of their abuse, hand them over to the Living God.
So lets God do the revenge. And pray the rebellion I did as a child God doesn't judge me in kind. Parents are instruments of God. I read that General Macarthur's mother was a harsh punisher. She watched over him even when he was a west point. I think we forget that a male child needs certain pressures for him to be complete.
I’m going through a rough season with my mother! She suffers from severe OCD, and probably other undiagnosed mental health issues. Growing up, we had a good relationship. We were like best friends. Now I realized this is because I listened to her obediently. As I started to get older, I noticed her flaws. Her anger! From age 14, I used to get physically hit. Pulling my hair, slapping me across the face, screaming at me. I started setting boundaries when I was 22, but she didn’t like that. In 2013, she broke the bridge of my nose. Over the years, it was tough but from 2018 it got much better but now it doesn’t feel good again. She verbally abuses me and never says sorry. She treats me horribly and because I get hurt and angry, sometimes I use bad language towards her.
I’m exhausted! I feel defeated. I don’t know if I can honour her, it’s tough for me.
Please, someone pray!
God please comfort this lady and give her peace. Please don't let her parent turn her away from you in Jesus name Amen
@@vickymor3963 I won’t turn away from Jesus but my mom has, so please pray for her.
This is literally my exact life situation. I feel super bad for what I say, but I’m only reacting to their anger because they are always bothering and picking at me. She also slapped and pulled my hair before and let my uncle slap me and attack me. And also took my 2 bunnies away from me because I have a boyfriend and am very strong and successful. They hurt me by taking what I love my animals away from me when I was gone just to hurt me. I will never see my bunnies again
I can’t take in no more my mom is destroying my mental health I’m 17 I can’t do anything now she wants me to live with her until I get married I can’t I want to move out now I keep trusting God it hurts so much idk what to do
Mom and I cut off abusive family because we couldn't take it anymore. None of this is your fault. My grandma tried to kill us and still makes everything out to be everyone else's fault. They will make you feel guilty because they just want to use you. We are no longer around her either. Sometimes you have to stay away and pray for them from a distance. That is not a sin. Regarding your life right now and where you would go and what to do, please watch a sermon called The Believer's War Room by Dr. Charles Stanley regarding prayer and God's specific will for things. God can do anything and can send good things your way. You don't have to wander this way or that all the time and just hope for the best. The Holy Spirit as a guide can tell us things we don't even know if we make the quiet time to listen! Perhaps that sermon I told you about, plus Listening to God would help. By the way that preacher was abused and he never made it seem like abuse is our fault or that it's a sin to want to be free from it. God has also given him miracles too. God is a good parent!
Children obey your parents is the only scripture my father held on his lips all the time.Its very quenching.It caused me to quietly watch my mom get beaten until she passed away.Even when she was suffering from cancer,she was beaten without slightest consideration.To my Pastor father,my mom and I were merely punch bags.He wud bring home all his frustration and let it out on me and my mom.I was beaten until i was 27years old.I could go on and on but i have to stop coz i am overwhelmed by pain of having to live thru all of the abve and more.Rightnow he is 74 years old man with a broken leg,confined to bed,being taken care of by me.I do see a light at the end of the tunnel and my hope is Christ.
I don't agree that reconciliation is always safe especially if the parent continues to manipulate. Sometimes you have to walk away whilst forgiving.
It is naive to believe that parents who don't acknowledge abuse will actually listen to an adult child who approaches them with this, no matter what manner the adult child uses to approach them. Sometimes the price is too high emotionally.
I have a question, is it biblically wrong for a child to point out to their parent if the parent did something wrong? For example, if the parent raged at someone for a wrong reason, I would mention to them that it was rude to do so, and would mention a couple of bible verses related to that topic... Is it wrong to acknowledge/point it out? Is it disrespectful and dishonorable? I would greatly appreciate some biblical answers...
I believe in a good harmonious relationship, children can always point out to their parents what they have done wrong. Of course in the spirit of gentleness and honesty not out of hypocrisy and pride like what we saw in Ham when he shamed his father Noah in Genesis. It is all about respect and love between people because in the end we are all human beings who will face God oneday.... Quoting Paul's Galatians 6:1, he writes "Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; looking to yourself so that you also aren’t tempted”. Hope I helped brother, may YAH's spirit guide you...
@@yahhaya3012 Thank you!
What a blessing, The Lord God always frees me!
My dad lies and does horrible things to me but always point out that you have to honor your father and mother. He turns down any problem I have and makes me feel crazy. I forgive him and love him but don’t want to be near/talk to him anymore.
John Pipers shows a complete detachment from reality spewing scripture out of context. Many times in an abusive situation with somebody in Authority like a Parent they refuse to see any wrong doing and condemn the one they have abused, the only one anguished by the whole affair is the abused child and the coals are upon his head. When you spew these passages out of context you make a victim feel that Gods Natural Law is coming down on them and that they are infact the ones in the wrong
Yes it's very hard especially if you have a relationship with Christ you feel as if you truly did something wrong it's a super painful feeling
Let me be the one to tell you that you’re not wrong, for feeling this way. When you are hurt by anyone, run to Jesus and let him wrap you in His arms and love on you, because He feels your pain. But also, as a Christian, you have to look behind the natural things. It’s possible that God might want you to help them change. Pray for them, and honestly do your part by loving them, even though it’s hard. God will give you strength. I’m writing this with swollen eyes from crying, just after a hard day full of arguments with my parents. I can imagine how much it hurts, but Jesus does want you to forgive and love on them. I know it can seem like when people talk about this, they don’t care about your pain at all. But if you treat them the same way, you will accept the devil’s plan and it will only hurt you. Anyways, I really am sorry that you are going through this 💔
@@Chryslerdealership i needed to here this so much, Thank God for allowing me to read this, i’m a bit late but i’m also behind the screen with swollen eyes from crying and just from being so exhausted, i was so angry earlier after the argument and i was even allowing myself to build a hatred towards my family but, i won’t God has a plan and He wants us to remain still and trust that he will do what seems impossible to us
Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. It doesn't mean subjecting yourself to more abuse. Matthew 18:6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
All sugary-toned and thoughtful and then he plays the "or God will send them to Hell" card.
I love my father and I always respected him for his direct demeanor. He never told me what I wanted to hear but what I need to hear. However, there is countless time where he would critique every flaw in my life and compare me to my peers which really put me down. I feel like money has really gotten to his head to where now he believes all his worth is from riches. I’m not innocent I’ve done wrong too but man there is no genuine and peace in our relationship.
How may we honor criminal parents?
Good question
My Christian Mom and Step Dad are getting divorced because they no longer love each other and no longer can stand to be with each other. Neither cheated on each other, it’s just selfishness..am I enabling them by physically helping them move to different homes?
parents need to learn how to apologize to their children and put down the pride. my dad had a messed up childhood and little to no relationship with his dad and me, his son, has little to no relationship with him. he was never emotionally available or ever considerate of my feelings and was always very provocative, unaccepting, and deflective. i have respect for my dad in a deep sense where i know his pain but i have a strong disliking for him close to hatred and that’s where i need to get this checked with God. his terrible childhood should not bleed into his kids lives because that is not our fault or problem we are his kids. i take my faith extremely seriously but this wound feels a little fresh as my dad hurt me a day after my birthday which was 3 days ago.
My dad was physically abusive w my sister when we were kids. He no longer is physically abusive but mentally and , emotionally abusive. I am sick of this n I'm treated as the scapegoat. He's happy as long as I don't challenge him or speak up when he is rude. I wish it was never like this and I am the one who sought reconciliation not him I. Guess he thinks just a I'm sorry card would work and things would be great. I have lil contact w him out of fear he will rage at me. He wonders why I don't talk to him or ask about him. He sounds delusional. I feel alot free and giving him to God.
I want to know how much contact I should have as an adult with my manipulative controlling mother. I mean I do appreciate her help with occasional babysitting my young kids but not the verbal abuses. I am in a dilemma.
You can try setting a boundary with specifying how she can talk to you and your children. If she breaks that boundary, you are prepared with a consequence such as she doesn’t get to see the children that week. You stick to the consequence. If she continues to violate the guidelines you set to keep your family safe, limit contact or go no contact.
Ignore the tantrums and block her on phone/social media as necessary. Be prepared to hear from others about what a bad parent you are for not letting the children have a relationship with grandparent. That is also manipulative and gossip.
Don’t believe those who say keeping a relationship with an abusive person is in your best interest. It is not.
I've struggled my entire life with handing it to God, and being unsettled. Yo-yoing why is it a struggle to keep the forgiveness in my heart? Should I stay away to stop the piling up of an never ending piling up of an abuse after another, and another, esc.....
I think culture has a big part to it. I remember as a child, mom and dad would tell me to get the slipper that I would be spanked with. I never fought against it bc I knew I did something wrong. But it did teach me at an early age that love is conditional. I learned what pleased my parents and what displeased them and I knew that if I disobeyed them I’d be run thru a torture guilt trip discipline session from hell. And that was a great motivator not to disobey.
The slipper??? The slipper to get spanked???? What is that real??? That's all you had was a slipper nah I'm mad all over again I wish my mom told me get slipper,it was more like get the switch off the tree, pick the leaves off and it better not be a small branch or it was worse,thence proceeded to beat me buck naked in the tub full with water and then put alcohol in the water so I WOULDN'T welp up ...but seriously I'm sorry that happened to u any abuse is unnecessary and lazy parenting
Agree about cultural thing affecting they way they raise us, i donnt agree with violence, violence parenti just going to raise another violence adult, but we just need to unlearn that so our child dont suffer them same
But we also need discipline our children and not over spoiled them too
REGARTHLESS OF CULTURE. The problem is thatbwe are stuck because is the right thing to do according to the word of God.
I do not have problem when my father verbally abuse me but I can't t control myself when verbally abuse my mom! I just cannot then I regret later but he always does this and I am tired Idk how should I act I don't want to be angry on my dad but I also don't my mother to suffer because of him😢😔😔😔
I agree to an extent but disagree with staying allowing their toxicity or pain to keep being inflicted. Churches and pastors are clearly not trained in boundaries and Narcissistic behavior.
It didn’t seem to suggest staying and allowing the abuse to continue to me. If reconciliation is not achieved hand it over once and for all. That doesn’t mean you have to stay for more abuse. I think when we hand it over to God, we are free to move, knowing it’s taken care of. We don’t have to be the one to either stay and try to fix it or leave out of anger. We can maturely move with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, with our faith in He who will handle it all according to His will.
Its very hard. Showing them love back and forgiveness will show them the better way. Also parents can be taught. They need to learn. Same with older people that are racist. They need to be taught that thats wrong.
although, this isn't my video, it also includes me, please pray that I can do has been said.
I'm very prepared when coming to videos like these to feel that they do an injustice to the matter or even that they're almost defending or minimising the abuse. I was pleasantly surprised by how good and true this one was.
My only question is why the fruit of any "Christian's" life would be to abuse their children and then deny or minimise it...
When you initially make it mainly about whether the demeanor of the victim is perfect, you are setting things up to potentially excuse repeat abuse/traumatization coming from the parents, who have likely not changed, which just makes things worse. But the rest of it is spot on.
Not enough content out there about being a christian with toxic christian parents that use scripture against you, condemn, and blame you for everything.
I did with mine as Saint Paul teaches us in 1 Timothy 1:20: I "handed them over to Satan to be taught not to blaspheme."
Thank you Sir! This was perfect. God bless you more!
They're dead now. ❤ I tried, my whole adult life. They would not 'Go there', period. It was sad, actually.😢