He is ALL things "ego-congruient", and has the nastiest temperment i have ever seen in a human being. I want out...I am literally stuck, and married to a full blown "covert/vulnerable/NPD ". I have no family members or friends that I could live with, or I WOULD be. I am currently working & saving money to leave this psychotic nightmare, and can't do it fast enough. All that you've said. Richard, about the NPD living totally in their own fantasy world, is oh so very true. I appreciate all the knowledge, and education you give.
To whoever is reading this keep going, you're doing fine! No matter how slow your progress, each new week is filled with tiny steps forward. Be proud of yourself you got this! ❤
@@cameowichinskyis it possible for an Empath and a narcissist to succeed in a relationship? Is it possible for any individual to succeed in a relationship with a narcissist? Define succeed? And don’t worry your not a narcissist. You wouldn’t care about making it succeed if you were. You’d be in it to extract what you can with minimal maintenance. Two narcs wouldn’t make it to the alter. They are both empty tanks needing the same supply they both lack. They ain’t gonna love bomb for to long of theirs no sign of budging. The only narcissist a narc will tolerant is the one they created or the one that created them. You can’t have to people that both need to be the most important in the same room for to long
There are good days and bad days. The problem is the bad days outnumber the good ones by such a huge amount it's hard to take in a good day for what it is and not have it feel totally alien and unnatural in experience.
This video is exactly what I needed! For so long, I've been confused, wondering if my mom has schizophrenia or narcissistic personality disorder. It all makes sense now. My mom's a war survivor and immigrant, so she's definitely dealt with a lot of trauma. On top of that, her own mother was narcissistic as well. She has these outbursts where she feels attacked and loses touch with reality. During these episodes, she boasts excessively about herself, even believing she could be president. When criticized, she plays the victim completely. She creates paranoid delusions about people stalking and targeting her, to the point where she thinks even the mailman or a random car passing by is one of her stalkers. These delusions seem to stem from her inflated sense of self-importance, like her life is a thrilling movie because she's so important, important enough to have worldwide conspiracies against her. She even believes people use black magic and constantly monitors our security cameras, interpreting shadows and lights as paranormal figures sent by her enemies. Here's the thing that confuses me the most: I point out how her behavior mirrors her own narcissistic mother, but she gets incredibly defensive. She resorts to low blows - insults about my appearance, past failures, or even digging up things from my childhood just to "win" the argument. She constantly brags about being the greatest mother ever, even lying about things in the past or exaggerating small moments. My dad seemed to be the punching bag, and I actually felt more emotionally connected to him because he was the nurturing one. It's even harder because of my own struggles: When she's in these grandiose states or expresses her delusional ideas, I get frustrated and rage out in uncontrollable anger. I'm working on this, but it's a difficult cycle to break. Her behavior triggers me, and I know it's not healthy. She can be very manipulative. She follows me around to express her views, even when I try to walk away. She'll even talk loudly to herself about me, clearly for me to hear. Her desperate need for admiration is exhausting. She'll fake illnesses or dramatically overreact about minor things. There's a pattern in her relationships. She fixates on marrying men from her home country who need financial help. She uses this "charity" as a way to boast and make herself feel superior. Her personality disorder is so extreme that she can't maintain healthy friendships. She constantly seeks out vulnerable people to give money to in exchange for praise. She even has this grandiosity about her past job as an interpreter. She inflates its importance to the point where she believes she was some kind of world-renowned philanthropist. The complexity is what makes it confusing: While her paranoia sounds similar to schizophrenia, there are inconsistencies. For example, she claims not to do any business in our town because it's "low class" and full of "criminals" who are supposedly out to get her. Yet, she'll break this logic when it suits her, like recently needing to use a local convenience store. This makes me think she doesn't truly believe her delusions; they're a way to inflate her importance. **Thanks to this video, I finally understand it's likely narcissism, not schizophrenia. But it's clear she also carries a lot of trauma. **
An ex I dated was a narcissist and he had a schizophrenic brother. At the time I thought: “How sweet; he helps take care of his mentally disabled brother”. Little did I know how similar at the core he was to his brother, both genetically and mentally.
A friend of mine is involved with a self proclaimed "neural divergent" He talked about a mentally ill brother same as yours. However, this man has now picked fights with almost every member of her family and most of her friends, myself included and encouraged her to buy a home last year, in which he moved in and 2 ½ months ago, encouraged her to quit her job. He also verbally abuses her 13yo Autistic son. Now she's at his mercy financially and she thinks she's in love. She came out of her previous marriage to another man( father of her 13yo son) who was verbally and physically abusive as well. I encouraged her to leave her previous husband no sooner had she done so, she was on the dating apps and met this off balanced POS. This guy defends pedophiles and groomers as well. There's more red flags than a May 1st Parade in Moscow but you can't tell her anything because she's in love and now isolated and tied to this manipulator. It's so f***king disturbing on many levels. Oh and he wants to get a gun too. I fear for her safety but can't get any authorities to investigate this situation.
Same here. Mine was a covert narcissistic sociopath. They call these narcopaths. You may want to look up ASPD. Not all people with NPD have ASPD, but everyone that has ASPD, has NPD.
You've done it again. I'm speechless. You have a gift my friend. This video paints such a vivid picture of the disorder. Thank you for helping so many people.
This is so enlightening. Believing you just have to love better, try harder, be more empathetic to achieve a 'breakthrough' to reach a consensus or deeper understanding with an NPD partner/sibling/parent is magical thinking. Breaking a trauma bond is very painful but trying to sustain a one sided relationship is diminishing & destructive.
thank you for how u worded this.. go thru this every day...constantly second guessing everything...giving chance after chance...wish i could see my own relationship and family dynamic from another perspective..probably wouldve booted him long ago...but i feel stuck because im a stay at home mama..homeschooling..and have a kitty sanctuary...he knows cant just up and leave...
Can I just tell you Richard I absolutely understand everything you’re explaining here thanks to listening to you for nearly 10 years now. I no longer suffer trying to get my parents to be in reality, they are not and never will be. I grieve knowing that their lives are so fake and sad but they no longer hold any power over me, and no other person ever will again either. A thousand thank yous, truly.
My God....😱 This video was sooooo enlightening! And I have been into this narcissist subject for almost 3 years! Trying to understand these crazy but fascinating creatures. I just broke my 6 years relationship with a narcissist partner recently, for the tenth time (this time is for real...). It was a very tumultuous marriage, lot of pain, lot of lies, lot of fights. But was also a one of a time experience. Never loved someone like I loved him. Never desire a man like I desired him. Was it worth it? For me, tottaly. I would even do it again. Do I recomend? No. If you don't have a very good sense of self and a VERY good self esteem, it will destroy you. Anyways, I just want to say that the way Richard synthesize how the comunication is made was brilliant. Not even Sam Vaknin did it so clear, in my opinion. Thanks Grannon! PS: Sorry if my text have some writing issues, english is my second language. I'm from Brazil.🇧🇷
They are definitely difficult to break from. It’s interesting how much we love them. I’m curious as to why you say you would do it again? In what ways was he special & how did he make you feel happy when times were good? Love to hear your story. Thanks!
I work with schizophrenic individuals in a group home for years. My ex husband is a narcissistic. I can honestly say when my schizophrenic clients are on there meds they are the most grateful individuals in the world. When they choose to off there meds, you can't work with them at all. Its extream. So, yes, this video is accurate. And I can tell you that working with my clients is way easier than working with my exhusband. And I have gotten a lot of insight about narcissistic behavior working with my clients. Schizophrenic individuals display a lot of narcissistic behavior.
You are incredible! This video explains my ex EXACTLY! I just left him almost 3 weeks ago and i am getting plenty of help 🙏🏼...i knew i needed to leave and one of your videos gave me the final touches of strength in addition to a friend of mine that kept telling me i "wasn't crazy"... listen to people that TRULY care about you!!! That includes you Richard, you are truly a gem to RUclips and saving countless people. I am grateful to you. Amen & Namaste 🙏🏼 ❤
My mother is this..... Yet why do I feel sad for her? I had to go no contact at 57, as my health can't deal with the confusion, insanity. I feel sad, grief and my mother was never really there! But A shell, a robot, a false self, an emptiness is what I feel, a void, like a ghost , not real, connection if this makes sense. I wish I didn't feel anything for her, be much easier to move on........
Thank you for this clear, articulate description about how the hot - cold dynamic works. It’s so interesting that my partner at the time used “schizophrenic” to describe my family member’s behaviour and I had basically normalised it having coexisted with it by hiding for a few decades. He woke me up to the fact that something was very wrong with this person. I attempt grey rock but am very close to no contact thirty years later. Every time we interact it’s like dealing with a different person. It’s totally discombobulating even when I’m keeping it extremely minimal.
The narcissists that tortured me would avoid any type of email or text. In person, full frontal contact was their favorite m.o. I did get video on an old cell phone and that person illegally entered my home and erased part of the footage. Most of them have multiple "secret" cell phones, emails and even post office boxes. Thank you for the clarity and your God given gift to unscramble chaos.
It is important to point out that there are times when our fears about the traumatizing narcissist are justified. Most of us who are in abusive relationships only become aware that we were in one, after we are out. The process of leaving an intimate partner abuser bears all the cardinal features of a person exiting a cult, when the abuser has resorted to intimidation, humiliation, and belittlement to subjugate us. Many of us are in a state of denial, and unable to believe that another human being would resort to such sadistically cruel means to control us. I remember by shock while at the Emergency Department at the Bradenton Hospital in Florida, being asked my an Emergency Physician, whether I had been the victim on Intimate Partner violence. "Of course not," I told him, while hiding what happened in the motorhome because my husband told me, "don't tell." I assumed that he didn't want me to say that he had slammed on the brakes and thrown me into the front console because his insurance rates would go up. In retrospect, after he refused to accompany me on three follow-up occasions, that he was trying to harm me.. Men who abuse women will not hesitate to weaponize a car against a spouse to intimidate and terrorize her. It is very difficult to seek help in these situations because we feel a deep sense of shame. Recognizing the traumatic narcissist's tactics in keeping us in a prison of shame and fear is the goal of Daniel Shaw's book, The Traumatizing Narcissist: Leaving the Prison of Shame and Fear. Thankyou Richard.
My ex narcissist was diagnosed as schizoaffective. Very violent and beat me often breaking my bones with permanent injuries which required surgical interventions.
This video has put to rest the cognitive dissonance that is a crucial battle for many. I have asked "WHY" for 8 long years. My X said that he was just playing a role, being a model ( but sneaky, crazy making husband). What intrigues me, and does not get serious enough attention, is when a person talks about himself, in the third person. My former husband would describe himself saying, " ( His name) does this and would never do that... etc." I want to ask, so WHO is the person that is describing " John does this and John feels that.." When it is John that is talking? The split is so evident. There is a US politician that does this and it is scary as hell.
I very much relate with what Dr. Greenberg said about wanting to deal with people on my own terms, including having my own corner/space/office where I do my work from, and having control over my immediate environment. But Covid actually had the opposite effect on me, and I hated it. It forced me to isolate more than I already was, and in ways I didn't find conducive to any long-term gain or contentment. I was already able to find ways to do my work in peace and isolation, and if I struggled with anything it was figuring out ways to "put myself out there" and connect with people outside of those bounds, both on a professional and personal level. And Covid just made everything worse.
So inability to process trauma = increasing break from reality, until all doors are closed. Maybe I’ll do the course soon. It’s so common. Permeates everything. Short of leaving this world there’s no way to get away from it, and maybe even then. No way out but through haha.
Holy crap.. This explains so much.. I'm remembering times I've gone with him to the doctor. Later he'll say the doctor said blah blah and I'm sitting their thinking No he didn't! So much gets turned around to fit the narrative he wants.. I've constantly wondered if he was a sociopath.. He's mostly OK with me because I never challenge him and he's in a competition with his brothers they've been married 8 times between them. I'm only his second wife for 33 years and he brags on that to them.. I guess he plans on winning some prize?
This is an important video for me. Thank you! I can't figure out where the schizophrenia ends and the NPD begins with my ex. Really looking forward to getting some answers from this video.
I have family who is Npd and family who is schizophrenia. The two are not from the same family. Different trees/different gardens,etc. This is how I know the difference: Schizophrenia is a mental disorder. Cluster b or psychopathy/Npd/bpd, etc, is a personality disorder. Both are life long, but both are different in how they work/appear. A Schizophrenic, with medicine, therapy, etc, is practically *normal* Most lead healthy, normal lives, have jobs, etc. It's only when they have episodes (which might only last a few hours or a day) that you will hear people talking that the schizophrenic is talking to a dog (that isn't there for you), hearing voices, etc. Once treated, those symptoms/voices diminish, and they are back to their old normal selves. (Their regular personality) Psychopaths, Npd, etc, don't see any invisble cats or hear voices, and there is no medicine for personality disorders. It's a personality disorder. Npd will pretend to have a broken arm and not go into work. Or they tell you they got a new job when they didn't, and you find out for the past 8 weeks they have been hanging out at a bar with the pretty bartender Sally. Or an Npd tell you their grandma (who actually died 10 years ago) just passed away and they are sad. :( "I miss my grandma soooo much" They go on with these stories for MONTHS until you find out it's fake and even then they continue with it. *A schizophrenic won't do this* I repeat, a schizophrenic doesn't do this. A schizophrenic's personality is NORMAL, except for their episodes they have on occasion (which isn't even a lot btw) A narcissist doesn't have this or do this. It is constant. It's their constant personality. They will yell at a cashier on Monday because they didn't get their tacos for free, and yell at at that person again on Tuesday, if they go again. And again a year later too. On holidays, they will demand special treatment at Christmas, birthdays, etc, and if they don't get it will make a big huff, and storm out of the room OR try and make it about them. This is a personality disorder. It's doesn't stop, it is constant. It's their personality. A schizophrenic doesn't have such a personality, they are like you and me except when they have a mental episode on occasion. Otherwise they are normal people, like you and me. Hope this helps.
@@specialtwice4975 thank you. this video is a very dangerous and a misleading comparison. Richard and people commenting are viewing schizophrenia though a `stereotypical` lens. I feel this is very harmful to the loved ones of schizophrenics. @RichardGannon you have great insight regarding toxic people but you are out of your depth with this one.
@@specialtwice4975 thank you for that reply. The schizophrenic traits that I have personally been witness to very closely resemble the traits of NPD. That's actually what led me to Richard's videos. I have been trying to determine, based on my experiences, if she could potentially be schizoaffective or if the schizophrenia could just be narcissistic rage at a superhuman level. I suppose it doesn't really matter in the long run, but I can't help but search for answers at this point. Really appreciate you taking the time to respond.
Why wouldn't that person just have bipolar disorder? People I've seen with schizophrenia were just odd, paranoid and had very strange beliefs of religious and supernatural related things or felt the government was after them.
best theory i have ever heard on these channels. exactly correct. this is what happened, it will literally drive you insane if you let it. how do i find these people and love them. smh.
This is the most technical explanation yet validating of not just “why I’m so confused” but HOW I’ve been so confused psychotherapeutic content I’ve seen on YT… 😢it’s been at least a decade. Brilliant work. Thank you… wow. Keep educating us… until we never need to return to your videos. (Because we finally got it, and healed).🎉
Richard THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing your insight and knowledge! You're absolutely Brilliant and I love listening to you and I shared this with my friends. Love you so much! God bless you for all your hard work! 🙏💜💖💝😁
I was convinced my ex had multiple personalities..., on one hand he was the most loving person I've ever been with on the other he became verbally abusive, physically abusive , and when I say physically I mean I was locked in his apartment hit and thrown around all night. After he would tell me tales of woe from his childhood, even cry sometimes, I would be there black eyed and bruised comforting him... even though just a couple or so hours ago it was me crying for him to stop... it was totally crazy making... you can't save them or change them and if you stay and try you might get seriously hurt please believe me .... leeeeeeave
Thank you. Very much needed this. Struggling to go no contact with someone with this exact behavior. The child like fawning they do keeps me a prisoner. I feel absolutely crazy at this point. I know I need to say goodbye, but completely overwhelmed with guilt. Your knowledge about this is a life saver
When my narcissistic husband was under a lot of pressure during a period of our lives together he started to hallucinate and think there was somebody hiding in the room who was there to harm him. I wonder why that was the case.
Fantastic video! Thank you! I have studied NPD for about 20 years...and you have just tied up lose ends and pulled together & confirmed ideas that I have has about duel personality...NPD, the 4 F responses and why it occurs.
Thank you for this explanation. Jekyll and Hyde personality, which I wondered if it could be schizophrenia. The personality switch was as quick as flicking a switch.
Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant vid. 💐It sums up the husband of my dear Aunt. She was the 1 who worked their entire 39+ yr marriage. He is work shy & always with an excuse. She paid for their house, car, everything. No children - she would've loved kids as she is so kind. She's in her early 70's, is still fit & attractive, but has mild dementia. As a parasite he is resentful that she can't focus long enough to complete tasks. He is used to being treated like a king by her. He has taken over her ph, car, money, food & never takes her anywhere. He smokes medicinal marijuana inside the house non stop. He smokes tobacco too, & is illegally growing a few plants. She has to breathe in hi 2nd hand smoke. He does not focus on her. Her close friends call but have been systematically forbidden to visit. Her large extended family - who adore her - have been frozen out, by his brainwashing of her that everyone is against her. He belittles her but doesn't want others' help as he still wants control.
I lived with this growing up. I was very fortunate to have examples of gealthy adults to know SOMETHING was off but it's taken years of therapy choosing people who mimicked my " caregivers" patterns to fully understand this. There is no hope when someone can see evudence on paper, film, and witnesses and then look you straight in the face and tell you that NO you are deeply mentally ill. Which of course continuing to choose those situations is in fact proof of that but NOT in the same way.
What bugs me is, (anyone else had this) first set of photographs ever taken.. I thought, he looks like he could be violent🤔 and I thought again looking at a later photo, hmm that looks like psychopathy. Obviously it was intuition and I didn't listen to my own conscience as my brother said, oh, don't be silly he seems intelligent. I was warned a few times, once I woke up in the middle of the night and I thought, I think he could be hard to break up with. Lol, I went through false imprisonment, child psychological abduction, abuse for years, lying reframes, slander, triangulation etc and he left me for another person??!! It made no sense. Most shocking and weird, terrifying reality shift of an experience I ever had. I always believed in the truth ultimately winning over lies, there's no defence when authority figures either are liars themselves and or collaborate with one also. I think that's when I had my first real empathising with the targeted innocent, be them Jews in the second war or the people who suffered racism worldwide, it matters not who you are or the act you've done nothing wrong, they have an idea, a delusional narrative about you and they have power to hurt for no reason, as, who would believe it? Ultimately the real power behind narcissism in powerful positions is the people they can influence to harm on their behalf. No other mentally ill person could be so skilled at both being psychotically deluded and influencing others to follow the story believing it. They can take the kindest character and slap a label of potentially neglectful, in order to split a family.. And terrifyingly, get away without even being able to defend yourself for 5 months, child taken, can't answer very cruel slanders until I front of a person in power, only narcissistic people could have the capacity to say such things, take children and without knowing a person fully. They are everywhere, im now of the attitude of trusting absolutely nobody as ironically, despite always being truthful, kind and generous to a fault, these predators seem to love saying im the opposite to my true personality. It's a scourge on the population but im hoping this resurgence of interest in the cluster b behaviours, might mean hopefully less victims and more widespread knowledge of how they operate. British justice system is full of psychopathy, acts like a monarchy and freedom of speech is entangled around law jargon that only expensive lawyers understand, effectively silencing truth from victims, it's riddled in society to the top.
Oh shit.....I am in the thick of this and I am so stuck. I'm doing my best to get out. This video is exactly what is going on in my relationship. I think I could really benefit from looking at it this way. Im having a lot of trouble getting out of the relationship. I feel ashamed that I got myself into this position and I am financially mixed up so there's a lot to do.... I'll look at the course.
Richard, your topic is something I have been thinking about the last couple of weeks. I agree narcissists do come off as having some facets that resemble schizophrenia, but they are not schizophrenic. I found the signs that mimick features of schizophrenia are their repetitive and intrusive thought processes in likeness to hallucinations. I have seen they become lost and totally absorbed in these thought processes. They experience anxiety and resort to self soothing acts such as nervous twitches. Detached from reality as they are so consumed by their repetitive thoughts. The repetition of these type of destructive thought patterns that interfere with their ability to make good sound judgements and decisions. These types of thought processes are consistently negative, repetitive, and coexist with ideas to maime their target. To inflict emotional and physical pain and sadistic pleasure. Narcissists live in their splintered and fragmented mind. There is a "variable" to their thoughts as when someone they perceive as a threat, they will retreat to a world of "obsessing" about the person and situation. These obsessive thought patterns can regress to negative childhood events or (whatever) they perceived negative in nature. These thoughts consume their mind and they can barely think of anything else, but to retaliate and premeditate a plan to get even. They are consumed with retaliatory thoughts and images. Thoughts of premeditation and planning out their recourse to get even. The defeat of their target is not enough, but they would rather annihilate their target to oblivion. Even if that is possible, it would not be enough to satisfy them as they would continue to obsess about them as it would be a never ending story in their mind. In a narcissists mind, they see there is always more than one antagonist. More than one storyline that reinforces their contempt and hatred for the protagonist.
My daughter has been diagnosed schzophenic but she is very narcissistic, yes I believed I could throw love at her but it doesn't work. I believe she has PTSD from a very traumatic experience and she adds to her trauma, I keep showing up but she blames me for it all. If I'm not there she has no other family member showing up and as her mum I'm scared she will go back into phycosis. And be put back into a centre. She refuses to work with mental health team or anyone else. I am overloaded. And confused.
Yes, love is here in abundance, it is a regular thing when the narcissist is getting old and defenseless for our love to be used against us whenever we try and love them. I'm looking for videos on the staying with the narcissist in order to help them even though the condition must remain and is completely unstoppable.
I find my time spent with the narcissist ultimately rewarding, philosophy type of things on why to live is to suffer, different types of psychological problems life gives them and how to avoid similar people in future relationships.
This is insightful, I thought my ex was schizophrenic with traits of narcissism, maybe it's just full blown narcissicm though.. I'm not sure though. He definitely became progressively worse as he went through some significant traumas in his life and would demonstrate signs of hallucinations...its hard to know
Thank you! Excellent explaination. I have not been able to understand it when it so much seems like Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. Even though he's put me through hell, I can pull back and I do see just how sad that situation is and I have come accept there's nothing I can do for it. And, unfortunately, they will never do anything about it their self.
It Is a pattern...EVERY 13 DAYS ON THE DOT...he becomes Angry...over Absolutely Nothing... he will literally wake up as someone else..some EVIL demon...he looks different talks differently walks differently....it's Weird and Scary
Richard! In response to London seminar update, after some deliberation 😂 I 95% can attend, just gotta confirm on my first day this Tuesday I can take a Monday or Friday off 😂 so please do hold it! On a weekend :) that’s one registration! Totally worth your time haha
The longer you will stay with Neurolinguistic-programming principles; the longer you will not recognize, what is scientific; and what is not. It's like you're using a word "connection", without really realizing what this particular word means in terms of mental heath. Using fancy; scientific words; with basically socially metaphors about mental health.
Thank you You are helping save my sanity. I have never had such a revaluation as I do at this moment. Unfortunately, this is my son, so to have access to my grandson, this is what I put up with.
My narcissistic husband’s ears always perked up when he heard “schizophrenia” . I can connect these 2 issues by the fact that in both cases the person hears voices - in narcissism its a harsh, impossible to avoid inner critic/demon, “tyrant” as my husband once called it, in schizophrenia- whatever entity from other dimension they are tuned up to. Curious to hear Richard’s connection.
I've mentioned to somebody at a behavioral health location to not forget that the English language has in fact been translated to Morse Code and thereby in some scenarios points to the connotations of conclusion and not necessarily "auditory hallucinations" as people have colloquially referred to. Grains of salt, aka "food for thought".
My narc only related to pets & projected onto them… he’d sit with the male cat for hours & pet him while he kept saying you’re a good boy ❤️🩹 every time he left us when back he’d believe that the pets no longer cared about him
I noticed with my newphew, he is extremely paranoid people are always trying to pull one over on him and is suspect of everything looking for manipulations everywhere - his parents are constantly pulling relatively intricate manipulations on him. they are particularily bizarre and invest a lot of time in this also he is the scapegoat and is more targeted then the other children. I try my best to calm him down about this but also realized this is very real for his life and he is not really being 'paranoid'. sadly he has to be on guard. I could see how his mental state could solidify into a state exibiting symptom if not a full blown case. I hope to be able to guide him out of this as he grows older but I am concerned. Does having 2 malignant narasisstic parents give you schizophrenia?
I like learning psychology. But in my cptsd I really let myself be sucked into videos like these. My ex was attacked by a REAL narcissist/psychopath. My ex is nutty, and even infuriating, but he has had to get through a lot and I can forgive his delusional and controlling ego. The man that broke into his room though... He was a real narcissist. He was jealous, had turned 50 had no home or kids and was a criminal, and he tried to kill my ex because of his personal feelings. He cared nothing for others as people. REAL narcissists exist and they are something else entirely - something criminally monstrous. Truly demented. The difference should be made more clear by youtubers/public speakers running private followings. I still struggle with my ex - a lot. It helps to learn why the cptsd makes my brain foggy and personality altered when I talk to me ex. But also... don't let yourself be fooled into thinking your loved ones are monsters. Sometimes the relationship is just TOXIC and you simply need to find other people to share whatever you were trying to have together.
my wife is a NPD full-blown...she destroyed our beautiful home we dreamed of...she abused me physically and verbally and mentally...she destroyed her relationship with her 4 adult children and grandchildren...when I called her out she threatened to murder me and went on and on about it. then i left
I was convinced my ex had some sort of schizophrenia.. but my brother is in a home with that and I learnt to realise the nice side was to keep me around...yes he had a terrible childhood but he was fully conscious of what he was doing to me and actually kinda told me so... with im doing this for your own good as they beat me physically and verbally... maybe what he experienced but he knew what he was doing to me... my advice get out ...run!!! It gets worse over time
Man... His fawn was amazing sex. 🤤 I hate to think what he is blocking out. I tried to help him remember but I shouldn't have, it only made him doubt that I truly loved him and I should have left it to a professional. I never wanted to do him more harm but was reactive abusive when pushed.
covert narc I’m currently dealing with has a pattern : attack; gain ground; withdraw; defend; gain ground; attack; gain ground; apologise; withdraw; gain ground; attack…. classic passive-aggressive narcissistic manipulation
Seriously but they can communicate in different ways like. Get a narcissist that leaves like what I call “Easter eggs” and abuses technology they legit drive u nuts till u commit suicide and your on your knees screaming please get rid of this person. They don’t care and they have no boundaries. And yes dealing with someone like that that’s so obsessed with you like causes you to feel like you’re not you and have almost a psychotic break yourself. They themselves burden you with themselves
My mom is 81 years old and 100% has NPD. I'm trying to understand since I can remember she has always talked to herself. Like not just a little bit, but she will have a full blown conversation with herself. If someone is around she can hold it together, but anytime no ones around especially of she's upset about something you would think that she is in the room with someone else. Is that NPD with schizophrenia? I need help and I'm to the point I'm feeling like giving up on my life because I'm trapped.
Do you live with her? I think it helps to see she does not care about you. Never did. Never can. Her only job is to make you miserable, and your job is to not let her kill you. She is killing you. My mom is 85. It is time for you to enjoy your life.
@CroisMoi i just understood last year what i was finally dealing with. I moved back two years ago and it was the biggest mistake of my life. Been kinda stuck, but she's doing everything she can to keep me here. I went through a deep depression because i had an awakening after i dated my first Narcissist. I did so much research and then realized my mom has been one my whole life. Now i understand all her tactics. Just realized she has tried to destroy anything that is good for me. Prayers are needed please 🙏
Thank you🙏🥰working hard to heal🥲want him out of my head, Exactly how it is, If they grew up on the street fighting is this the behavioral disorder? What is cluster B? A judge said he was narsasist sociopath cluster B, 2 different people, they have a choice. I had extreme suffering abuse, I became stronger more loving and kind. They spit in Gods face continuously, I was having flashbacks from the narc, still happening 6 months later in my body, have to work hard to heal. Cruel bullying to the people, normal comments would trigger him. Then play victim. I wouldn’t wish this on anybody what I survived. Is there hope for this person? Love is most powerful force on earth,except with them. So they know they are nuts, they hear voices in their head.
And ironically the narcissist will gaslight you and try and make you feel crazy/schizophrenic
He is ALL things "ego-congruient", and has the nastiest temperment i have ever seen in a human being.
I want out...I am literally stuck, and married to a full blown "covert/vulnerable/NPD ".
I have no family members or friends that I could live with, or I WOULD be. I am currently working & saving money to leave this psychotic nightmare, and can't do it fast enough.
All that you've said. Richard, about the NPD living totally in their own fantasy world, is oh so very true. I appreciate all the knowledge, and education you give.
You would be better off in a refuge than staying with this narcissist. I know from staying far too long the terrible harm that it causes.
To whoever is reading this keep going, you're doing fine! No matter how slow your progress, each new week is filled with tiny steps forward. Be proud of yourself you got this! ❤
Thank you, you are right. Sending much love
Is it possible for 2 narcissists succeed in a relationship! I see me and I see them.
😮
@@cameowichinskyis it possible for an Empath and a narcissist to succeed in a relationship?
Is it possible for any individual to succeed in a relationship with a narcissist?
Define succeed?
And don’t worry your not a narcissist. You wouldn’t care about making it succeed if you were. You’d be in it to extract what you can with minimal maintenance.
Two narcs wouldn’t make it to the alter. They are both empty tanks needing the same supply they both lack. They ain’t gonna love bomb for to long of theirs no sign of budging.
The only narcissist a narc will tolerant is the one they created or the one that created them.
You can’t have to people that both need to be the most important in the same room for to long
There are good days and bad days. The problem is the bad days outnumber the good ones by such a huge amount it's hard to take in a good day for what it is and not have it feel totally alien and unnatural in experience.
Why are all narcissistic's beta's because they die beta's they need to be dominanted day in day out.
When there are children involved it is heartbreaking.
This video is exactly what I needed! For so long, I've been confused, wondering if my mom has schizophrenia or narcissistic personality disorder. It all makes sense now.
My mom's a war survivor and immigrant, so she's definitely dealt with a lot of trauma. On top of that, her own mother was narcissistic as well.
She has these outbursts where she feels attacked and loses touch with reality.
During these episodes, she boasts excessively about herself, even believing she could be president.
When criticized, she plays the victim completely.
She creates paranoid delusions about people stalking and targeting her, to the point where she thinks even the mailman or a random car passing by is one of her stalkers.
These delusions seem to stem from her inflated sense of self-importance, like her life is a thrilling movie because she's so important, important enough to have worldwide conspiracies against her.
She even believes people use black magic and constantly monitors our security cameras, interpreting shadows and lights as paranormal figures sent by her enemies.
Here's the thing that confuses me the most:
I point out how her behavior mirrors her own narcissistic mother, but she gets incredibly defensive.
She resorts to low blows - insults about my appearance, past failures, or even digging up things from my childhood just to "win" the argument.
She constantly brags about being the greatest mother ever, even lying about things in the past or exaggerating small moments. My dad seemed to be the punching bag, and I actually felt more emotionally connected to him because he was the nurturing one.
It's even harder because of my own struggles:
When she's in these grandiose states or expresses her delusional ideas, I get frustrated and rage out in uncontrollable anger. I'm working on this, but it's a difficult cycle to break.
Her behavior triggers me, and I know it's not healthy. She can be very manipulative.
She follows me around to express her views, even when I try to walk away. She'll even talk loudly to herself about me, clearly for me to hear.
Her desperate need for admiration is exhausting. She'll fake illnesses or dramatically overreact about minor things.
There's a pattern in her relationships. She fixates on marrying men from her home country who need financial help. She uses this "charity" as a way to boast and make herself feel superior.
Her personality disorder is so extreme that she can't maintain healthy friendships. She constantly seeks out vulnerable people to give money to in exchange for praise.
She even has this grandiosity about her past job as an interpreter. She inflates its importance to the point where she believes she was some kind of world-renowned philanthropist.
The complexity is what makes it confusing:
While her paranoia sounds similar to schizophrenia, there are inconsistencies. For example, she claims not to do any business in our town because it's "low class" and full of "criminals" who are supposedly out to get her. Yet, she'll break this logic when it suits her, like recently needing to use a local convenience store. This makes me think she doesn't truly believe her delusions; they're a way to inflate her importance.
**Thanks to this video, I finally understand it's likely narcissism, not schizophrenia. But it's clear she also carries a lot of trauma. **
An ex I dated was a narcissist and he had a schizophrenic brother. At the time I thought: “How sweet; he helps take care of his mentally disabled brother”. Little did I know how similar at the core he was to his brother, both genetically and mentally.
A friend of mine is involved with a self proclaimed "neural divergent"
He talked about a mentally ill brother same as yours.
However, this man has now picked fights with almost every member of her family and most of her friends, myself included and encouraged her to buy a home last year, in which he moved in and 2 ½ months ago, encouraged her to quit her job.
He also verbally abuses her 13yo Autistic son.
Now she's at his mercy financially and she thinks she's in love.
She came out of her previous marriage to another man( father of her 13yo son) who was verbally and physically abusive as well.
I encouraged her to leave her previous husband no sooner had she done so, she was on the dating apps and met this off balanced POS.
This guy defends pedophiles and groomers as well.
There's more red flags than a May 1st Parade in Moscow but you can't tell her anything because she's in love and now isolated and tied to this manipulator.
It's so f***king disturbing on many levels.
Oh and he wants to get a gun too.
I fear for her safety but can't get any authorities to investigate this situation.
@@conantheseptuagenarian3824 even though schizophrenia has a heritability of 0.8?
Same here. Mine was a covert narcissistic sociopath. They call these narcopaths. You may want to look up ASPD. Not all people with NPD have ASPD, but everyone that has ASPD, has NPD.
Schizophrenia and NPD run in my family down the same line.
Interesting.
Schizophrenia is heritable so wonder if he had a genetic component to the NPD
So true and so real “ just kill me like everyone else had done to me since the very beginning “. They are always the biggest victim.
I can’t with my mom ever again. That sounds exactly like her.
You've done it again. I'm speechless. You have a gift my friend. This video paints such a vivid picture of the disorder. Thank you for helping so many people.
Totally agree!
Agree!
This is so enlightening. Believing you just have to love better, try harder, be more empathetic to achieve a 'breakthrough' to reach a consensus or deeper understanding with an NPD partner/sibling/parent is magical thinking. Breaking a trauma bond is very painful but trying to sustain a one sided relationship is diminishing & destructive.
thank you for how u worded this.. go thru this every day...constantly second guessing everything...giving chance after chance...wish i could see my own relationship and family dynamic from another perspective..probably wouldve booted him long ago...but i feel stuck because im a stay at home mama..homeschooling..and have a kitty sanctuary...he knows cant just up and leave...
Can I just tell you Richard I absolutely understand everything you’re explaining here thanks to listening to you for nearly 10 years now. I no longer suffer trying to get my parents to be in reality, they are not and never will be. I grieve knowing that their lives are so fake and sad but they no longer hold any power over me, and no other person ever will again either. A thousand thank yous, truly.
sometimes I run, sometimes I hide, sometimes I'm scared of you, but all I really want is to hold you tight
This is Richard's best explanation of a narcissist to date.
All the love, kindness you give feels wasted, they can't appreciate or value it
It isn’t wasted because it was right for you in the moment. It was you being your authentic self.
@@teachertracee thank you 😊 🙏 💓
My God....😱 This video was sooooo enlightening! And I have been into this narcissist subject for almost 3 years! Trying to understand these crazy but fascinating creatures. I just broke my 6 years relationship with a narcissist partner recently, for the tenth time (this time is for real...). It was a very tumultuous marriage, lot of pain, lot of lies, lot of fights. But was also a one of a time experience. Never loved someone like I loved him. Never desire a man like I desired him. Was it worth it? For me, tottaly. I would even do it again. Do I recomend? No. If you don't have a very good sense of self and a VERY good self esteem, it will destroy you. Anyways, I just want to say that the way Richard synthesize how the comunication is made was brilliant. Not even Sam Vaknin did it so clear, in my opinion. Thanks Grannon! PS: Sorry if my text have some writing issues, english is my second language. I'm from Brazil.🇧🇷
Glad you’re recovering
You need to seek help😐
They are definitely difficult to break from. It’s interesting how much we love them. I’m curious as to why you say you would do it again? In what ways was he special & how did he make you feel happy when times were good? Love to hear your story. Thanks!
Greetings from Scotland,
Happy (yester)Day of Lady of Aparecida
🕊️
I work with schizophrenic individuals in a group home for years. My ex husband is a narcissistic. I can honestly say when my schizophrenic clients are on there meds they are the most grateful individuals in the world. When they choose to off there meds, you can't work with them at all. Its extream. So, yes, this video is accurate. And I can tell you that working with my clients is way easier than working with my exhusband. And I have gotten a lot of insight about narcissistic behavior working with my clients. Schizophrenic individuals display a lot of narcissistic behavior.
You are incredible! This video explains my ex EXACTLY! I just left him almost 3 weeks ago and i am getting plenty of help 🙏🏼...i knew i needed to leave and one of your videos gave me the final touches of strength in addition to a friend of mine that kept telling me i "wasn't crazy"... listen to people that TRULY care about you!!! That includes you Richard, you are truly a gem to RUclips and saving countless people. I am grateful to you. Amen & Namaste 🙏🏼 ❤
My mother is this.....
Yet why do I feel sad for her?
I had to go no contact at 57, as my health can't deal with the confusion, insanity.
I feel sad, grief and my mother was never really there! But A shell, a robot, a false self, an emptiness is what I feel, a void, like a ghost , not real, connection if this makes sense. I wish I didn't feel anything for her, be much easier to move on........
💯 relate to this
Schizophrenia is catogirically not split/multiple/dissociative personaliity disorder - two separate clinical entities
Thank you for this clear, articulate description about how the hot - cold dynamic works. It’s so interesting that my partner at the time used “schizophrenic” to describe my family member’s behaviour and I had basically normalised it having coexisted with it by hiding for a few decades. He woke me up to the fact that something was very wrong with this person. I attempt grey rock but am very close to no contact thirty years later. Every time we interact it’s like dealing with a different person. It’s totally discombobulating even when I’m keeping it extremely minimal.
The narcissists that tortured me would avoid any type of email or text. In person, full frontal contact was their favorite m.o. I did get video on an old cell phone and that person illegally entered my home and erased part of the footage. Most of them have multiple "secret" cell phones, emails and even post office boxes. Thank you for the clarity and your God given gift to unscramble chaos.
It is important to point out that there are times when our fears about the traumatizing narcissist are justified. Most of us who are in abusive relationships only become aware that we were in one, after we are out. The process of leaving an intimate partner abuser bears all the cardinal features of a person exiting a cult, when the abuser has resorted to intimidation, humiliation, and belittlement to subjugate us.
Many of us are in a state of denial, and unable to believe that another human being would resort to such sadistically cruel means to control us. I remember by shock while at the Emergency Department at the Bradenton Hospital in Florida, being asked my an Emergency Physician, whether I had been the victim on Intimate Partner violence. "Of course not," I told him, while hiding what happened in the motorhome because my husband told me, "don't tell." I assumed that he didn't want me to say that he had slammed on the brakes and thrown me into the front console because his insurance rates would go up. In retrospect, after he refused to accompany me on three follow-up occasions, that he was trying to harm me.. Men who abuse women will not hesitate to weaponize a car against a spouse to intimidate and terrorize her. It is very difficult to seek help in these situations because we feel a deep sense of shame. Recognizing the traumatic narcissist's tactics in keeping us in a prison of shame and fear is the goal of Daniel Shaw's book, The Traumatizing Narcissist: Leaving the Prison of Shame and Fear. Thankyou Richard.
My ex narcissist was diagnosed as schizoaffective. Very violent and beat me often breaking my bones with permanent injuries which required surgical interventions.
This video is probably one of the best I have seen from Richard. I’ll watch it again. Stay strong everyone, you’re not alone.
This video has put to rest the cognitive dissonance that is a crucial battle for many. I have asked "WHY" for 8 long years. My X said that he was just playing a role, being a model ( but sneaky, crazy making husband). What intrigues me, and does not get serious enough attention, is when a person talks about himself, in the third person. My former husband would describe himself saying, " ( His name) does this and would never do that... etc." I want to ask, so WHO is the person that is describing " John does this and John feels that.." When it is John that is talking? The split is so evident. There is a US politician that does this and it is scary as hell.
This is a curious situation. Sounds like more than splitting.
I very much relate with what Dr. Greenberg said about wanting to deal with people on my own terms, including having my own corner/space/office where I do my work from, and having control over my immediate environment. But Covid actually had the opposite effect on me, and I hated it. It forced me to isolate more than I already was, and in ways I didn't find conducive to any long-term gain or contentment. I was already able to find ways to do my work in peace and isolation, and if I struggled with anything it was figuring out ways to "put myself out there" and connect with people outside of those bounds, both on a professional and personal level. And Covid just made everything worse.
So inability to process trauma = increasing break from reality, until all doors are closed. Maybe I’ll do the course soon. It’s so common. Permeates everything. Short of leaving this world there’s no way to get away from it, and maybe even then. No way out but through haha.
I think this is one of your best videos to date and you got it, spot on! Thank you.
Holy crap.. This explains so much.. I'm remembering times I've gone with him to the doctor. Later he'll say the doctor said blah blah and I'm sitting their thinking No he didn't! So much gets turned around to fit the narrative he wants.. I've constantly wondered if he was a sociopath.. He's mostly OK with me because I never challenge him and he's in a competition with his brothers they've been married 8 times between them. I'm only his second wife for 33 years and he brags on that to them.. I guess he plans on winning some prize?
This is an important video for me. Thank you! I can't figure out where the schizophrenia ends and the NPD begins with my ex. Really looking forward to getting some answers from this video.
I have family who is Npd and family who is schizophrenia. The two are not from the same family. Different trees/different gardens,etc.
This is how I know the difference:
Schizophrenia is a mental disorder.
Cluster b or psychopathy/Npd/bpd, etc, is a personality disorder.
Both are life long, but both are different in how they work/appear.
A Schizophrenic, with medicine, therapy, etc, is practically *normal* Most lead healthy, normal lives, have jobs, etc.
It's only when they have episodes (which might only last a few hours or a day) that you will hear people talking that the schizophrenic is talking to a dog (that isn't there for you), hearing voices, etc.
Once treated, those symptoms/voices diminish, and they are back to their old normal selves. (Their regular personality)
Psychopaths, Npd, etc, don't see any invisble cats or hear voices, and there is no medicine for personality disorders.
It's a personality disorder.
Npd will pretend to have a broken arm and not go into work.
Or they tell you they got a new job when they didn't, and you find out for the past 8 weeks they have been hanging out at a bar with the pretty bartender Sally.
Or an Npd tell you their grandma (who actually died 10 years ago) just passed away and they are sad.
:(
"I miss my grandma soooo much"
They go on with these stories for MONTHS until you find out it's fake and even then they continue with it.
*A schizophrenic won't do this*
I repeat, a schizophrenic doesn't do this.
A schizophrenic's personality is NORMAL, except for their episodes they have on occasion (which isn't even a lot btw)
A narcissist doesn't have this or do this.
It is constant. It's their constant personality.
They will yell at a cashier on Monday because they didn't get their tacos for free, and yell at at that person again on Tuesday, if they go again.
And again a year later too.
On holidays, they will demand special treatment at Christmas, birthdays, etc, and if they don't get it will make a big huff, and storm out of the room OR try and make it about them.
This is a personality disorder. It's doesn't stop, it is constant. It's their personality.
A schizophrenic doesn't have such a personality, they are like you and me except when they have a mental episode on occasion. Otherwise they are normal people, like you and me.
Hope this helps.
@@specialtwice4975 thank you. this video is a very dangerous and a misleading comparison. Richard and people commenting are viewing schizophrenia though a `stereotypical` lens. I feel this is very harmful to the loved ones of schizophrenics. @RichardGannon you have great insight regarding toxic people but you are out of your depth with this one.
@@specialtwice4975 thank you for that reply. The schizophrenic traits that I have personally been witness to very closely resemble the traits of NPD. That's actually what led me to Richard's videos. I have been trying to determine, based on my experiences, if she could potentially be schizoaffective or if the schizophrenia could just be narcissistic rage at a superhuman level. I suppose it doesn't really matter in the long run, but I can't help but search for answers at this point. Really appreciate you taking the time to respond.
Why wouldn't that person just have bipolar disorder? People I've seen with schizophrenia were just odd, paranoid and had very strange beliefs of religious and supernatural related things or felt the government was after them.
best theory i have ever heard on these channels. exactly correct. this is what happened, it will literally drive you insane if you let it. how do i find these people and love them. smh.
BRILLIANT!! Deep Gratitude ❤
This is the most technical explanation yet validating of not just “why I’m so confused” but HOW I’ve been so confused psychotherapeutic content I’ve seen on YT… 😢it’s been at least a decade. Brilliant work. Thank you… wow. Keep educating us… until we never need to return to your videos. (Because we finally got it, and healed).🎉
I find they are bullies but also have to look like the good person which is manipulation.
Richard THANK YOU SO MUCH for sharing your insight and knowledge! You're absolutely Brilliant and I love listening to you and I shared this with my friends. Love you so much! God bless you for all your hard work! 🙏💜💖💝😁
Good evening Sir !
Your have TRUE knowledge about NPD and Psychosis / Schizophrenia I salute you.
I was convinced my ex had multiple personalities..., on one hand he was the most loving person I've ever been with on the other he became verbally abusive, physically abusive , and when I say physically I mean I was locked in his apartment hit and thrown around all night.
After he would tell me tales of woe from his childhood, even cry sometimes, I would be there black eyed and bruised comforting him... even though just a couple or so hours ago it was me crying for him to stop... it was totally crazy making... you can't save them or change them and if you stay and try you might get seriously hurt please believe me .... leeeeeeave
Thank you for the clear picture!
Thank you. Very much needed this. Struggling to go no contact with someone with this exact behavior. The child like fawning they do keeps me a prisoner. I feel absolutely crazy at this point. I know I need to say goodbye, but completely overwhelmed with guilt. Your knowledge about this is a life saver
When my narcissistic husband was under a lot of pressure during a period of our lives together he started to hallucinate and think there was somebody hiding in the room who was there to harm him. I wonder why that was the case.
Fantastic video! Thank you! I have studied NPD for about 20 years...and you have just tied up lose ends and pulled together & confirmed ideas that I have has about duel personality...NPD, the 4 F responses and why it occurs.
Clearest , most sensible view on NPD I have ever heard. Keep up the good work!
Thank you for this explanation. Jekyll and Hyde personality, which I wondered if it could be schizophrenia. The personality switch was as quick as flicking a switch.
Thank You For
Your Service 🌞
Brilliant and spot on as always Richard - the book by Pete Walker is a fantastic audiobook to assist. Thank you for helping others.
Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant vid. 💐It sums up the husband of my dear Aunt. She was the 1 who worked their entire 39+ yr marriage. He is work shy & always with an excuse. She paid for their house, car, everything. No children - she would've loved kids as she is so kind. She's in her early 70's, is still fit & attractive, but has mild dementia. As a parasite he is resentful that she can't focus long enough to complete tasks. He is used to being treated like a king by her. He has taken over her ph, car, money, food & never takes her anywhere. He smokes medicinal marijuana inside the house non stop. He smokes tobacco too, & is illegally growing a few plants. She has to breathe in hi 2nd hand smoke. He does not focus on her.
Her close friends call but have been systematically forbidden to visit. Her large extended family - who adore her - have been frozen out, by his brainwashing of her that everyone is against her.
He belittles her but doesn't want others' help as he still wants control.
I lived with this growing up. I was very fortunate to have examples of gealthy adults to know SOMETHING was off but it's taken years of therapy choosing people who mimicked my " caregivers" patterns to fully understand this. There is no hope when someone can see evudence on paper, film, and witnesses and then look you straight in the face and tell you that NO you are deeply mentally ill. Which of course continuing to choose those situations is in fact proof of that but NOT in the same way.
@richardgrannon you’re the BEST! 🙏
What bugs me is, (anyone else had this) first set of photographs ever taken.. I thought, he looks like he could be violent🤔 and I thought again looking at a later photo, hmm that looks like psychopathy. Obviously it was intuition and I didn't listen to my own conscience as my brother said, oh, don't be silly he seems intelligent. I was warned a few times, once I woke up in the middle of the night and I thought, I think he could be hard to break up with. Lol, I went through false imprisonment, child psychological abduction, abuse for years, lying reframes, slander, triangulation etc and he left me for another person??!! It made no sense. Most shocking and weird, terrifying reality shift of an experience I ever had. I always believed in the truth ultimately winning over lies, there's no defence when authority figures either are liars themselves and or collaborate with one also. I think that's when I had my first real empathising with the targeted innocent, be them Jews in the second war or the people who suffered racism worldwide, it matters not who you are or the act you've done nothing wrong, they have an idea, a delusional narrative about you and they have power to hurt for no reason, as, who would believe it? Ultimately the real power behind narcissism in powerful positions is the people they can influence to harm on their behalf. No other mentally ill person could be so skilled at both being psychotically deluded and influencing others to follow the story believing it.
They can take the kindest character and slap a label of potentially neglectful, in order to split a family.. And terrifyingly, get away without even being able to defend yourself for 5 months, child taken, can't answer very cruel slanders until I front of a person in power, only narcissistic people could have the capacity to say such things, take children and without knowing a person fully. They are everywhere, im now of the attitude of trusting absolutely nobody as ironically, despite always being truthful, kind and generous to a fault, these predators seem to love saying im the opposite to my true personality. It's a scourge on the population but im hoping this resurgence of interest in the cluster b behaviours, might mean hopefully less victims and more widespread knowledge of how they operate. British justice system is full of psychopathy, acts like a monarchy and freedom of speech is entangled around law jargon that only expensive lawyers understand, effectively silencing truth from victims, it's riddled in society to the top.
It sounds like you have met my Nex! You've nailed it, again! Well done 👍 RG.
I think that was one of your best videos. Thank you
Oh shit.....I am in the thick of this and I am so stuck. I'm doing my best to get out. This video is exactly what is going on in my relationship. I think I could really benefit from looking at it this way. Im having a lot of trouble getting out of the relationship. I feel ashamed that I got myself into this position and I am financially mixed up so there's a lot to do.... I'll look at the course.
Richard, your topic is something I have been thinking about the last couple of weeks. I agree narcissists do come off as having some facets that resemble schizophrenia, but they are not schizophrenic. I found the signs that mimick features of schizophrenia are their repetitive and intrusive thought processes in likeness to hallucinations. I have seen they become lost and totally absorbed in these thought processes. They experience anxiety and resort to self soothing acts such as nervous twitches. Detached from reality as they are so consumed by their repetitive thoughts. The repetition of these type of destructive thought patterns that interfere with their ability to make good sound judgements and decisions. These types of thought processes are consistently negative, repetitive, and coexist with ideas to maime their target. To inflict emotional and physical pain and sadistic pleasure. Narcissists live in their splintered and fragmented mind. There is a "variable" to their thoughts as when someone they perceive as a threat, they will retreat to a world of "obsessing" about the person and situation. These obsessive thought patterns can regress to negative childhood events or (whatever) they perceived negative in nature. These thoughts consume their mind and they can barely think of anything else, but to retaliate and premeditate a plan to get even. They are consumed with retaliatory thoughts and images. Thoughts of premeditation and planning out their recourse to get even. The defeat of their target is not enough, but they would rather annihilate their target to oblivion. Even if that is possible, it would not be enough to satisfy them as they would continue to obsess about them as it would be a never ending story in their mind. In a narcissists mind, they see there is always more than one antagonist. More than one storyline that reinforces their contempt and hatred for the protagonist.
My daughter has been diagnosed schzophenic but she is very narcissistic, yes I believed I could throw love at her but it doesn't work. I believe she has PTSD from a very traumatic experience and she adds to her trauma, I keep showing up but she blames me for it all. If I'm not there she has no other family member showing up and as her mum I'm scared she will go back into phycosis. And be put back into a centre. She refuses to work with mental health team or anyone else. I am overloaded. And confused.
Hit the ball out of the park today man. Cheers, Australia.
Yes, love is here in abundance, it is a regular thing when the narcissist is getting old and defenseless for our love to be used against us whenever we try and love them. I'm looking for videos on the staying with the narcissist in order to help them even though the condition must remain and is completely unstoppable.
That is very creepy to me to hear the narcissist cry, like the bad guy in the film just mocking me, it is eerily unauthentic.
I find my time spent with the narcissist ultimately rewarding, philosophy type of things on why to live is to suffer, different types of psychological problems life gives them and how to avoid similar people in future relationships.
Great talk Richard!
OMG!! This model fits my reality in dealing with my NPD partner. I did think she was schizo!
This is insightful, I thought my ex was schizophrenic with traits of narcissism, maybe it's just full blown narcissicm though.. I'm not sure though. He definitely became progressively worse as he went through some significant traumas in his life and would demonstrate signs of hallucinations...its hard to know
Your videos are really helpful
Thank you! Excellent explaination. I have not been able to understand it when it so much seems like Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. Even though he's put me through hell, I can pull back and I do see just how sad that situation is and I have come accept there's nothing I can do for it. And, unfortunately, they will never do anything about it their self.
The mind reels! 'Will try to comprehend the well taught lesson of yet another aspect of the "Creature with NPD".🦇🦉🕸️🎃
Ah! you just described my mother! Pulling my hairs out since forever.
I’ve never seen a narcissist that didn’t have the covert characteristics.
You nailed it. So clear. Thank you to break it down.
It Is a pattern...EVERY 13 DAYS ON THE DOT...he becomes Angry...over Absolutely Nothing... he will literally wake up as someone else..some EVIL demon...he looks different talks differently walks differently....it's Weird and Scary
Richard! In response to London seminar update, after some deliberation 😂 I 95% can attend, just gotta confirm on my first day this Tuesday I can take a Monday or Friday off 😂 so please do hold it! On a weekend :) that’s one registration! Totally worth your time haha
The longer you will stay with Neurolinguistic-programming principles; the longer you will not recognize, what is scientific; and what is not. It's like you're using a word "connection", without really realizing what this particular word means in terms of mental heath. Using fancy; scientific words; with basically socially metaphors about mental health.
Great, so many ppl talikng about it 😊
Thank you, Richard. Right on time for me.
🙏❤️🌠
I'm cheering, this is spot on
Absolutely agree!
Thank you Richard for the important message
Thank you
You are helping save my sanity. I have never had such a revaluation as I do at this moment. Unfortunately, this is my son, so to have access to my grandson, this is what I put up with.
So eloquently explained. Thank you ❤
This was very interesting.
My narcissistic husband’s ears always perked up when he heard “schizophrenia” . I can connect these 2 issues by the fact that in both cases the person hears voices - in narcissism its a harsh, impossible to avoid inner critic/demon, “tyrant” as my husband once called it, in schizophrenia- whatever entity from other dimension they are tuned up to. Curious to hear Richard’s connection.
I've mentioned to somebody at a behavioral health location to not forget that the English language has in fact been translated to Morse Code and thereby in some scenarios points to the connotations of conclusion and not necessarily "auditory hallucinations" as people have colloquially referred to. Grains of salt, aka "food for thought".
My mum is the same, now I have explain to hers behaviour😮
My narc only related to pets & projected onto them… he’d sit with the male cat for hours & pet him while he kept saying you’re a good boy ❤️🩹 every time he left us when back he’d believe that the pets no longer cared about him
Hearing internal monologue and external auditory or visual hallucinations are not the same thing
@@apatheticxmindsetx3549 yes, but how narcissistic person can know that? I guess sometimes he may doubt who he is and what are these.
I noticed with my newphew, he is extremely paranoid people are always trying to pull one over on him and is suspect of everything looking for manipulations everywhere - his parents are constantly pulling relatively intricate manipulations on him. they are particularily bizarre and invest a lot of time in this also he is the scapegoat and is more targeted then the other children. I try my best to calm him down about this but also realized this is very real for his life and he is not really being 'paranoid'. sadly he has to be on guard. I could see how his mental state could solidify into a state exibiting symptom if not a full blown case. I hope to be able to guide him out of this as he grows older but I am concerned. Does having 2 malignant narasisstic parents give you schizophrenia?
I like learning psychology.
But in my cptsd I really let myself be sucked into videos like these.
My ex was attacked by a REAL narcissist/psychopath. My ex is nutty, and even infuriating, but he has had to get through a lot and I can forgive his delusional and controlling ego. The man that broke into his room though... He was a real narcissist. He was jealous, had turned 50 had no home or kids and was a criminal, and he tried to kill my ex because of his personal feelings. He cared nothing for others as people. REAL narcissists exist and they are something else entirely - something criminally monstrous. Truly demented. The difference should be made more clear by youtubers/public speakers running private followings.
I still struggle with my ex - a lot. It helps to learn why the cptsd makes my brain foggy and personality altered when I talk to me ex. But also... don't let yourself be fooled into thinking your loved ones are monsters. Sometimes the relationship is just TOXIC and you simply need to find other people to share whatever you were trying to have together.
Total understanding
Thanks!
Thanks Richard, really bloody insightful! ✌🏾
my wife is a NPD full-blown...she destroyed our beautiful home we dreamed of...she abused me physically and verbally and mentally...she destroyed her relationship with her 4 adult children and grandchildren...when I called her out she threatened to murder me and went on and on about it. then i left
Brilliant!
I was convinced my ex had some sort of schizophrenia.. but my brother is in a home with that and I learnt to realise the nice side was to keep me around...yes he had a terrible childhood but he was fully conscious of what he was doing to me and actually kinda told me so... with im doing this for your own good as they beat me physically and verbally... maybe what he experienced but he knew what he was doing to me... my advice get out ...run!!! It gets worse over time
Man... His fawn was amazing sex. 🤤 I hate to think what he is blocking out. I tried to help him remember but I shouldn't have, it only made him doubt that I truly loved him and I should have left it to a professional. I never wanted to do him more harm but was reactive abusive when pushed.
Truth!
covert narc I’m currently dealing with has a pattern : attack; gain ground; withdraw; defend; gain ground; attack; gain ground; apologise; withdraw; gain ground; attack…. classic passive-aggressive narcissistic manipulation
Seriously but they can communicate in different ways like. Get a narcissist that leaves like what I call “Easter eggs” and abuses technology they legit drive u nuts till u commit suicide and your on your knees screaming please get rid of this person. They don’t care and they have no boundaries. And yes dealing with someone like that that’s so obsessed with you like causes you to feel like you’re not you and have almost a psychotic break yourself. They themselves burden you with themselves
Brilliant ❤
Eye opener! ❤❤❤
My mom is 81 years old and 100% has NPD. I'm trying to understand since I can remember she has always talked to herself. Like not just a little bit, but she will have a full blown conversation with herself. If someone is around she can hold it together, but anytime no ones around especially of she's upset about something you would think that she is in the room with someone else. Is that NPD with schizophrenia? I need help and I'm to the point I'm feeling like giving up on my life because I'm trapped.
Do you live with her? I think it helps to see she does not care about you. Never did. Never can. Her only job is to make you miserable, and your job is to not let her kill you. She is killing you. My mom is 85. It is time for you to enjoy your life.
@CroisMoi i just understood last year what i was finally dealing with. I moved back two years ago and it was the biggest mistake of my life. Been kinda stuck, but she's doing everything she can to keep me here. I went through a deep depression because i had an awakening after i dated my first Narcissist. I did so much research and then realized my mom has been one my whole life. Now i understand all her tactics. Just realized she has tried to destroy anything that is good for me. Prayers are needed please 🙏
amazing vid ty richard
Thank you🙏🥰working hard to heal🥲want him out of my head, Exactly how it is, If they grew up on the street fighting is this the behavioral disorder? What is cluster B? A judge said he was narsasist sociopath cluster B, 2 different people, they have a choice. I had extreme suffering abuse, I became stronger more loving and kind. They spit in Gods face continuously, I was having flashbacks from the narc, still happening 6 months later in my body, have to work hard to heal. Cruel bullying to the people, normal comments would trigger him. Then play victim.
I wouldn’t wish this on anybody what I survived.
Is there hope for this person? Love is most powerful force on earth,except with them. So they know they are nuts, they hear voices in their head.
i see similarities with BPD
That was brilliant...thankyou. 😊
It would be awesome if you could do a video on how to not burnout working with people with CPTSD as carers....🙂🙏
Wonderful video
Thank you Thank you Thank you 👍❤❤❤👍
Maybe if someone has no idea what schizophrenia entails, bc this is not like that lol. More like Bipolar… I used to ask him if he had that…..🤔