It's Finally Time I Tell You All This
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- Опубликовано: 24 авг 2022
- **VERY PERSONAL VIDEO** Here's my full story, friend. I hope it encourages you ❤️
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At the time I’m writing this you have 2,300 comments so you may never see this, but I am so proud of you everything you overcame! I love it beautiful testimony that’s what our Jesus did for you and you have shown that today❤️🤟❤️
Thank you, Kelley! I am personally reading each comment. But yes, it is going to take me a while to go through and respond to many comments. I just wanted you to know and anyone else still commenting or who has commented already, that I am definitely reading all of these and I am greatly encouraged by all the love and support. I also am so thankful for all the people that the video has touched. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you Jamerrill, your bravery is beautiful. I listened to your story and saw that vulnerable little girl and felt so tender about her. I work with vulnerable children and each story I hear shows me things I need to understand. I’ve not been as brave as you sharing my story but one day I might. Thank you. ❤️
You were very brave at an early age You have overcome so much but look at you now you are blessed with love of your life your husband and you have beautiful loving children a beautiful home animals and your garden that you love and you are always doing something to help somebody you have a heart ❤ of gold I love watching all of your videos of you and your family may God keep blessing you and your beautiful family always ❤
Mental health professional and child development professor here. You are remarkable in so many ways I cannot list them. I hope you realize how bright you are! Sharing your story of resilience, choices and reinventing yourself through your religious journey is a very powerful one. The fact that you and your husband have been able to climb up over childhood deficits to create the family and opportunities you have is amazing. As your children grow into each stage, you will gain new understanding and be able to reparent yourself as you nurture them. Parenting is not for wimps, but never doubt that on the days where you are falling way short of being the mother you are trying so hard to be, you are providing above and beyond what you were given. I admire the gentleness with which you tell your parent’s story. We cannot judge the past by today. Your mother did not have access to the knowledge, attitudes or support programs of today. She did break. And now being a good grandma is her chance for do-overs and forgiveness. Bless your entire family!
@@JamerrillStewart this story hits home on many levels as far as growing up in a home with alcoholism with my adopted dad! The difference between what you went through and what I endured is that not once but twice my dad held my mom up at gunpoint both times in front of me and all I can remember is standing on the court behind my dad punching him in the back yelling at him to put the rifle down and not to please not kill my mommy while my mom was laying on the living room floor begging for her life ....something snapped and he put the gun down ....another time he came home drunk from work was mad about something don't recall and while my nephew and I were down in the basement we heard a big thump on the floor my mom was screaming for help for my nephew to come help her but to leave me down in the basement ...I went up there and found my mom laying in a pool of blood behind her head and course dad ran off cause he knew he messed up .. meanwhile I ran across the street to a neighbors house and called the police and while police were on the way my friends dad took my mom to the hospital to get stitches ...she had lost a lot of blood almost died because of the amount of blood she had lost ....police came arrested dad he went to jail for a bit ....always had a roof over my head food in my stomach my parents loved me dearly but the drinking was out of control my mom couldn't take it anymore she got to the point where she was ready to kill him and she called my uncle told him he had two hours to get to the house or his brother would be dead ...he was there with my aunt in town and they are who introduced my mom to 12step meetings. AA alanon etc .....dad never quit drinking until he went into the Phoenix VA in 94 he has since passed on ....sorry I just let it all out but your story hit home...as for the financials parents made good money for those days but dad wod drink up the money so mom had to pick up the slack! Adopted mom has since passed away in 2019 I never got to have closure with her! We had good times and bad but these situations will make you or break you! Night after night I would scurry up the stairs to my room as soon as I heard dad pull in the driveway cause I know that if he knew I was still up on a school night he would start hitting on my mom! Couldn't bare to see my mom go through anymore abuse! Keep on doing what you're doing! Great videos!
I can’t imagine anyone shaming your mom. She’s a savage, a warrior. She lived this life too, she suffered and struggled also. Based on your story, it sounds like she never gave up and kept reinventing herself. We are all flawed and there’s no room for judgement. You turned out to be a lovely human being and I’d dare say much of that can be attributed to your mother.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I too grew up with an alcoholic father and was emotionally abused.
I believe that my mother did the nest she could with what she had. I'm grateful for all she did to make my life better.
I feel as you do to not let your story define you. I love your vlogs. You are such a sweet and loving person. I look forward to seeing what topic you have next. I'm proud otf the wonderful woman you have become.
AMEN!!!!
People like to think something could never happen to them and judge . Her mom survived and raised a good women !
This!!
Don’t you wish 11 year old Jamerrill could see that new kitchen! One thing I’ve always admired about you is that you know what matters to you and you follow through. I am sorry for the difficulties you went through. I’m especially sorry that no one stepped in for you. Because you have been brave enough to share your story, I have realized I can be brave enough to believe in myself more.
I’m a 60yr old single women with no children. I’m still dealing the effects of a traumatic childhood. Thank You for this video and your honesty ❤
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🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽 prayers
buster C I am so sorry; I come from a very similar past and age. 💕🐝
There’s a lot of us still carrying that trauma…
Now I see where all of your grace and patience comes from for your children. You’re an awesome mother❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for Sha
Ring. This has been a very insightful video. I could relate to your story in some ways and it also gives me so much hope in healing. I lost my Momma a year ago on my Birthday last year and this year has been so hard. I do know there is hope.
I wish I could tell my story. I’m 61 and I still can’t. God Bless You for your bravery. My husband saved my life. I lost him a year ago this month. Hang on to Travis and spend as much time as you can together. We raised 9 children and I am raising my grandson who is 4. We adopted him a year before my husband died. I’m also a Nurse. Praise God for his Mercy And Grace.
God bless you sweet lady. Much love being sent to you, from my heart to yours x
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I wish I could hug you
God bless you sweet lady . ❤️🙏🏻
By Gods grace💕
I listened to this with my teen daughter so she could understand how important it is to be aware that there are people who have unfortunate home lives and to never judge someone based on their appearance. She was very moved by your story. Thank you for sharing. God has used your life to minister in so many ways
Your a good mom. The more we can help make our children aware, the more good can be done. God bless.
Yes! Every teen needs to watch this! Compassion is a gift that gives to the one who receives it but also to the one who gives it.
I’m so glad 😀
My 7 kids are 4 months old to 11 years old. We try to explain this to them all the time. I think it helps to hear real life stories themselves (like this) so they know people actually go through this. I started watching the video for myself, but find myself pausing it so often to discuss it with husband and kiddos.
No
I’m 69 years old. I grew up with 2 alcoholic parents and I still have PTSD in the middle of the night. Our house was a very violent place to live. They were not violent with the kids but were with each other. Waking up in the middle of the night to screaming and hearing the crying and slapping is an absolute nightmare! I have never drank in my life. I’m sitting here sobbing watching your video because I know the pain you are feeling. God bless you and your mom💕💕💕
Hearing physical fights is extremely traumatizing. I remember wondering if my father was killing my mother at age 4. I heard screaming in my mind at night for a decade long after my father was gone.
Unless someone has lived with the chaos of an alcoholic parent they don’t get how it influences your life. Thank you for sharing!
Yes, it is something different.
We all need to keep our eyes out for children that may be passing under the radar.
Love that you had the courage to make this video.
Yes!!! As an adult now this is our responsibility
You are such a blessing. I listened to this, and decided to extend some help to a struggling family by offering to drive and pick up my daughter's friend for activities. It had not occurred to me to offer before. The family lost the father due to a heart attack with covid in 2020. My daughter is good friends with their daughter. You made me realize how important childhood friendships can be and what a difference they can make. You make a real difference, Never stop being you.
God Bless you for helping with your daughter's friend.
That’s wonderful you are helping your daughter’s friend!
Wrapping my arms around you, a perfect stranger brought to me through the internet….strange, yet wonderful….you have a ministry here….God has chosen you…..we all think our world the most important one, but if we take a moment to hear what God wants us to hear…..we can change, renew and refresh. You, may dear, have brought me….through your ministry here, on this Monday Thursday….just a needed reminder to tell someone…anyone, that they are loved, important, and that I care!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you❤❤❤
I also had a very complicated childhood. One day, I was home alone, and had some sadness sweep over me that was related to my childhood. The Lord started talking to me. He said, "I was with you then, I Am with you now, and I Am your future!" I paused, and then thought, "Well, that takes care of that!" 🙂❤
Your story is helping me not to feel alone. I’m a mom of six who is pretty isolated and lonely for a friend to talk to. It feels like I’m listening to a friend.
Hi Love. I’m a mama and you can talk to me if you’d like. 🥰 Don’t feel lonely or isolated, I care
@@savespendwell5887 That’s sweet. Thank you.☺️
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I was a stay at home mom with 2 boys. It is such a blessing to be able to do it, but most people do not realize it is also a great sacrifice. I hope you know Jesus, I am so happy He was and is always with me. I pray God blesses your hard work. 🙏
Get your other Mom friends together with a potluck! And have some chitty chat! It's good to have support !
“I will not have any comments tearing down my mom.” Such a beautiful part of this video.
Yes and Amen!!! I'm actually in the mist of some of what her mom went through. Being married to man I love for 20 years and after our son died 13 years ago he became an alcoholic and is currently coming to sobriety. We have two other sons and I hope they will one day say the same about me. It's really hard to know exactly what and when to do "xyz" when your in the trenches of a different situation especially when your married to a hard working good man who has occasional bad nights with alcohol. It's really the alcohol that's the problem not the man. Thanks for understanding a mama's heart!
Her Mum is precious . A kind loving woman . ❤️🙏🏻
You have overcome and built a wonderful relationship with your husband and children. You are an inspiration to all. We love you darlin!!!!!
I second that!! You are amazing .
I just finished listening to your story. As a retired teacher I beg any teacher out there to really look at your students, beyond unit 5, chapter 3 unit test. Get to know them really. As a retired teacher (38 years under my belt) I’ve seen many similar stories. Please get to know your students, sometimes we are their only saving grace.
Granddaughter is a new teacher this year. She is a reading specialist in a school in a depressed area. She is seeing these stories first hand. She loves her work BTW.. She says she will love anything as long as she doesn't have to teach math.. LOL!
6 am and today I canceled my routine plan to just decompress my mind & body over a cup of black coffee. I watched & heared every word you shared and want you to know how greatful I am for you sharing about your struggles at childhood. I was born 1970. Struggled abuse and witnessed my mother being abused till 11. I also had to fend for myself while raising my 2 siblings for 2 yrs. Both my parents did not want to be parents to me but glad to say my momma did love both my bby brothers and remaried and gave them both a beautiful life. I lived in a abandoned house alone w my baby because I got preg at 12 . My bby and I lived in this abandoned house for 4 yrs and lived a adult life being abused by the man who I had my bby from. He was 8 yrs older then me and went n came when drunk and I lost 4 bbys from the beatings. I'm 53 yrs old now live a humble life free of abuse but closed myself off from the world but do see my 3 children that survived through me being beaten. I made sure they each graduated high school unlike myself and my only daughter became a RN. Watching your story and the life you have with all your children is something I wish I was able to say I experience now but know my bbys are in heaven waiting for me and I look forward to the day God calls to finally hold them. You are a beautiful soul who Conquerd through due to having broken parents but I see and hear you and know this posts took alot of courage. Jesus is also the only reason I've been able to make it this far. My 3 children and I have paid but The Lord is who strengthens us daily. Big hugs from Central valley California.
God bless , strengthen , and continue to encourage you. Please know that I “ see” and hear you… and thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so very sorry you experienced such a frightening, difficult and harsh life. -You matter. I am so glad you came to know Jesus… He is the only way for any of us to make it, even though not everyone has as much to overcome as you. Congratulations in and on your accomplishments. May God’s peace surround you and continue to guide and nurture you in and on your journey. May His favor, wisdom, health and joy be yours adornments.
As a child who also scrounged for food, learning to cook for my babies was both a challenge and a trigger, which is why I found you in the first place. Thank you for turning your trauma into a gift for others.
I too walked on eggshells - I often scrounged what to eat at home (around the same timeframe as you).
And good simple living just to name a few.
U brought tears to my eyes. Her homeschool videos were what encouraged me to homeschool and I also stayed bc of her patience and organizational skills sharing. We spend alot of adulthood overcoming childhood. It's good & inspiring to see a beautiful outcome from such tragic experiences. Jamerril today is a testimony to never giving up and not perpetuating another generation of dysfunction within the home. Trailblazing is sooo hard.
You will always be in my prayers. I enjoy your videos and your story is in inspiration.
Bless you and your family.
I'm in awe of your tenacity, your spirit. But this vlog really puts it in perspective. You and Travis have made such a beautiful life for your family and your compassion for Mama is beautiful. I felt like How she must have at times, when my love was using. He's still here, got a second chance health wise and doing all he can to heal his body. So this is starting a new chapter of marriage and family life for us. We're still recovering and I guess it's going to take some time and Grace. Survival mode takes so much out of you. All the best for you and your mom.
As an educator, I am so thankful that my district is providing training for teachers to recognize, understand and support students with ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences). When students are facing any number of adverse experiences at home then education is unable to be a focus. Teachers are trying to do our part to help these students overcome their challenges. Sending love to you and your dear Mom.
Not all teachers, unfortunately. I am happy that you care.
I was a school supervisor! We were all mandated reporters.
Your story is very similar to mine. My dad was also an alcoholic and gambled. I also very much remember him tearing things up and going into rages. As a retired nurse I feel sure he was mentally ill. He didn't commit suicide but died from lung cancer. I am an old lady now and understand so much more. God bless you.
When you said you noticed that they had food in their pantry and fridge, that resonated with me… we take for granted the little things like that. You are an amazing mother, wife and person! Keep doing what you’re doing. So strong!
Finally finishing this. At the 2:00 mark with chills. I just wanted to give you a hug right then. 😢
Speechless. I wasn’t a bully, but you’ve made me wish I could go back and befriend all those girls who seemed to have rough home lives in school. Thank you for sharing.
I really hope everyone remembers being kind goes a long way & judging others is not the way. It’s very easy for others to say what they would do or would have done when they aren’t faced with certain situations. You are inspirational & by sharing your story you are helping others heal.
I want so badly to give 10 year old Jamerrill a hug! ❤
As a kid I had a friend who had a “sleepover rotation” with us and I remember cleaning out a drawer at my house for her clothes so she could leave her stuff over. So many points in your story opened my eyes to the hurting hearts around me. The people in survival mode, that just need a little extra help.
I finished watching the whole thing and I just want to say that I love knowing that that hungry little girl turned it around and made a whole business helping other people make sure their kids get fed. I don't say "everything happens for a reason" but I do think we can make meaning out of our struggles and I'm grateful that you were able to do that.
Also: My kids are little and don't have friends coming over yet, but when they're older I will always remember this video and make sure any friends who come over get plenty to eat.
Yes, I thought the exact same thing...it seems like her life's mission is to give people what she didn't have and that's a beautiful thing. ❤
Thanks for sharing your story Jamerill♡ You are such an inspiration to many of us. May God continue to bless you and your family. Much love to you ❤
Thank you for not saying "everything happens for a reason". I definitely agree that we can often become stronger or do meaningful things due to struggles but some things that happen cant and dont have meaning. I wish more people understood that. It's often triggering for me to hear that phrase or have conversations with people who insist everything happens for a reason. Some things just dont have a reason. They are just horrible tragedies that should never happen to anyone.
You are so right @elfstarsaka it was not meant for Jamerelle, or anyone else to go through those times, God wants us to have life and have life abundantly, but He will take what satan meant for evil and use it for the good of us who love Him and are called according to His purpose. God has blessed us through Jamerele by teaching us what she learned during those hard times and she has shared His love with us. Thank you elfstarsaka and thank you Jamerelle.
I can relate to so much of your story. My dad was an abusive alcoholic. We never knew when he was going to explode. They had 10 kids and used us as punching bags and it didn’t matter how old we were, nobody was immune to his beatings. So many times he would make us comb his hair or rub his feet until early in the morning hours even on school nights. If we fell asleep, we would get punched or kicked depending on what he had us doing. It wasn’t uncommon for us to be without utilities and/or living in an abandoned property. So many times we were made to scoop the toilet out with a coffee mug because it got too full. Only the adults were allowed to use the toilet, the kids had to go outside. Living in those types of situations, it’s hard to get out unless you have help, resources or a miracle. People just really don’t understand unless they have lived it. I can definitely relate to your story. You’re a survivor and what you have gone through has made you who you are. A breathtakingly beautiful, strong, hardworking, motivated, loving, caring, thoughtful, considerate, compassionate, generous, ambitious, honest, creative, resourceful, unique, valuable and worthy gorgeous woman!
Dear Lord, how can this happen in a so called civilised society? It breaks my heart that no one looked out for you then and that it is STILL going on today. I despair of mankind on times. God bless you, I hope you are in a much happier place now and have someone to talk and confide in if/when you need to. Much love to you and all good wishes for the future x
I just want to say that I'm so sorry for what you went through, Spring Christine. I certainly don't have answers but my heart hurts for you and everyone in a situation like you, Jammerill and everyone else that have gone through it.
I am sorry that you had a childhood like you did. No person should ever have to go through that. You sound like a kind, caring and understand woman just by what you wrote.
Well our father wasn’t around and the toilets worked but other than that if you add in only eating food on payday you and I could be related. I just thank God every day that our father never interfered with us no men in our family looked at us once. And my mom finish school and we all got away from him.
You to are a warrior 💐
I had a horrid childhood due to a yelling, out-of-balance father, and we lived in poverty and hunger. Your life story and mine differ in some details, but we parallel in a lot of ways. I LOVE pantries more than anything. A well-stocked pantry is so comforting to see. The first time I saw one of your videos was earlier today when you were in yours, and it made me feel so good. I know you don't take it for granted. I am hanging onto every word of this video.
Sometimes we take comfort in either what we were blessed with or what we achieve. I love showing my kids affection (now grown up) as I don't recall my adoptive mother hugging me- she does love me but hasn't able to show.
Small things can be enough to enhance your life. Have a wonderful life to all the warriors and survivors. I include the parents who don't see a way out of difficult circumstances to get the better life they and their children deserve.
Bless your heart, hearing your story helps me have hope for my broken grandson who we have custody of. I'm 64 and raising grandkids ages 16 and 6. The older child was abused and I've had to move him to homeschooling in Hope's of him getting better. With what you went thru and for what you've made of yourself it gives me hope for him to make a good life for himself one day. Pray for me as I raise the last 2 of the 6 children and grands I've raised 💖
Praying for you and your family🙏🙏
Prayers ❤
I just wanna hug little Jamerrill and tell her everything will be ok!
You have made such a difference to so many lives, Jamerrill. May God Bless you. Big hugs.
I had to pause halfway through and write this. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your experience. I myself have come from some very crazy experiences with a single mother and alcoholic absent father(who interestingly also gambled at the race tracks). I resonate with your story a lot and it is helpful to know I am not alone. I’m not a mother yet, in fact I’m still a young working woman and a new student in a masters program. I’m working to become a therapist to help people like myself who have experienced a lot and are learning to overcome. I recently heard a Latin phrase from one of my professors that spoke to me. It goes “Luctor Et Emergo” which means “I struggle and overcome.” I wanted to share that for anyone else who struggles. Know that you can overcome too. You are loved and cared for by me even if you feel you have no one else. ❤️
My father was also an alcoholic and I am forever grateful for my mom who kept her 8 children together here I 2022 I turned 74 in april.i applaud your strength! You go Girl. I can relate to your pain.
As mamas we all make mistakes and do things we regret. But dang it we all do the best we can. Your mama did a fantastic job and had she known better she would have done differently. You’re very brave and awesome Jammerill. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for those kind words 💜
I so agree her Mama did amazing with what she had to go through and she raised a very very beautiful person that could see through even at a young age what is wrong and right. And grew up determined her family would never see wrong. She is remarkable.
As a little girl that spent so many nights awake and afraid and alone as well...when we share our story it's proof to others that we can survive and we do heal from our pasts. Thank you for always being so real it's one of the reasons I started following you. Sending good thoughts to you.
It breaks my heart to hear that you ahd to experience that . Hugs to you Carla. I am sorry you had to experience that.
Yes, I also suffered many nights alone as a child from severe family dysfunction. I have come a long way. Thank God
This was a hard look at your childhood. Thank you for sharing. Look at how far you and your beautiful family have come. You are a survivor.
And He walks with me and He talks with me, He tells me that I am His own… what a story! I thankful for you.
I pray for all the little kids suffering out there.
And the JOY we share as we tarry there none other has ever known. Praise Jesus Praise Jesus!
You are a survivor! I admire your strength and tenacity at such a young age. I cry for the ten year old girl figuring things out on her own. Look at the woman you’ve become! You are so real and honest in your delivery.Hearing your story is like therapy for me. I am inspired.The love you have for your mother is heartwarming. You are a blessing to your husband, children and mama.Thank you for sharing your story Ms.Jamerrill!
Being a child from a dysfunctional home , I have to admire your courage telling your story on social media. I'm 61 and still have friends that have no idea what my childhood was like. You truly have overcome and been divinely blessed. I also admire the obvious love and concern you have for your mother. Congratulations on all of your accomplishments. May your family continue to be blessed.
Amen to that.
Same here. I’m 55 and have chosen to have no contact with my parents. My mother is/was a violent abusive narcissistic woman. She would bludgeon mostly my sister, but I caught hell too. My dad finally left her two years ago, but went back. I know he is sick with dementia and severely abused, but my sister and I can’t get access to him. Elder abuse has been called many times. I try not to think about it, as it is too upsetting. I just pray that she passes before him, so I can see him before he dies. My mother is scary, a liar and a master manipulator. Our childhood can best be described as “terror”, sheer terror. She didn’t need to have a drink to destroy the house or beat us until bloody. My dad tried his best to protect us, but he was/is scared of her, too. Still, I blame him for keeping us in that hellhole all those years. “Normal” people can’t even comprehend the terror we lived thru.
@@loriegordon5227 so sorry that you went through that hell. I hope counseling & giving it all to God is helping you to heal.
You are reading my diary, sadly. With God, my family & counseling, I’m healing, living a somewhat healthy mental adult life.
If anyone deserves success in life, it’s you.
I’m sorta speechless having binge-listened to this. I am your age and the 80’s didn’t really have resources that your mom would have had access to today. I hope people remember that before judging her. There weren’t FB groups or online support or even educators trained in abuse the way there are now. I don’t recall anybody ever talking about mental health issues or addiction. We absolutely cannot judge your poor mother who sounds like she was doing the best she knew how to do in that time. I doubt that as a mother in that time period I’d have handled her situation much differently. God bless her.
You are incredible, and although I’ve heard bits and pieces of your story over the RUclips years, hearing this from start to finish was incredible. You are so brave. I already knew you were a fantastic story teller, but the way you told your own story was riveting. I think you should write a memoir. It would be a best seller. You are the epitome of grace and courage and your children are very blessed to have you. I praise God for making our messes into messages.
🙌🏻 Yes! “Messes into messages!” Love this ❤️
So well said, you read my mind. GOD bless you, and your mom, Jammerill
Yes!! Best seller I would read it!
Hey Jamerrill! Thank you so much for sharing your story. I grew up in a Christian home. We joke that we would go without dinner before we missed church, because there was no missing church! Revivals, Sunday morning, Sunday night, Wednesday night and any other service, we were gonna be there! I grew up with a dad that didn't drink, but he was a womanizer. He and my mom were married for 55 years when he passed but their marriage was an awful one. My dad had hundreds of affairs on my mom, but my mom always begged him to come home. I think it was because she was given away and tossed around her entire childhood. She tells the story about growing up and never hearing a single person say I love you. So I think that's why she was so desperate for my dad to love her and put up with everything he did. But besides that, there was a lot of abuse. I have told myself that she did it bc she was taking her frustrations out on us. So many times I would be covered in bruises from her beatings. I ran away when I was in the 8th grade and she found me. Brought me home and beat me with the handle of a wooden broom, then took me to my Christian school and paraded me around the classrooms, pulling up my skirt and showing the bruises to the high school/middle school students that this is what happens when you don't listen to your parents. This school was associated with the same church we attended and that my mom taught at. She then took me to speak to the assistant pastor and he asked me why I ran away and I reluctantly told him. I begged him not to tell my mom but he did anyways. I wanted so badly for someone to help me but no one ever did. Anyways, through my teen years, I was SA'd by two different family members. I knew I couldn't tell anyone what was happening bc I would just be blamed for it. So it went on for many, many years. I can remember having conversations with myself as a child. I always found a way to explain away why it was happening. As a 47yo woman today, I know I did nothing to deserve that. I accepted Jesus when I was 19 years old. I only tell my story because without Jesus I can honestly say I probably wouldn't be here. I have been able to forgive my mom. She has dementia now. For years I wanted my mom to apologize, she never has and I won't ever get that bc she doesn't remember. But I've had to forgive her regardless. It hasn't been an easy road. I'd be lying if I said it has, but the Lord has truly helped me.
Thank you for sharing your story! I am so so sorry you went through that as a child. We all have a story, right? We're survivors! Sending hugs to you and your family. You're such a blessing to watch. ❤️🤗
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Heartbreaking that you endured such horrific abuse and no adult in your life stepped up to protect you. You're a precious child of God. Free will and sin lead humans to act despicable at times.
To have endured all of that, yes dear girl you are indeed a survivor! The Most High is the Ultimate Healer of all.
And for you to forgive your mother without an apology from her is honey to your soul 😌 🙏🏼
Christy God bless you and keep you.
I have a similar story. I can relate to you feeling lost, alone, and frightened. Walking home at night some homes had large picture windows. I would see the moms serving the family dinner, and seem like a Norman Rockwell moment. That was nothing like was I was about to walk into. I am so proud of You, yes you. You overcame your story and past and became a caring and nurturing woman. (((BIG HUG)))
Mrs. Smith is the teacher I pray each of our kids has, the kind that 'sees' the kids and their trauma and leaves a lasting impression on them.
I love how you both figured out how to be self sufficient and only have to rely on each other with all you've overcome. We all learn our lessons in different ways. My childhood sucked but it taught me what I didn't want for me and my children x
I’m saying a prayer for little Jamerill tonight. Thank you for sharing
As a teacher, i hope to realise who are the kids that live under these conditions and bring a little hope in their lives. How strong you are Jamerrill!
Thanks for addressing the “why didn’t she leave him” question. We do what we have to to protect our children even if it doesn’t seem like it to anyone else. Thank God for your healing.
I’ve found through many years working in human services that children who experience trauma will often go through a period as an adult where they experience the trauma all over again. I think it’s because even if you process and heal as a child or adolescent, you reach adulthood and you see it all through a different lense. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.
Yes! Definitely went through this after I had my twins, single. I was in a Mandated Reporter Certificate class. It hit me like a bus.
So very true by the time I was 11 my Dad had died and we had 3 fires losing my baby sister in the last one. Many other traumatic things in between. After having my son it all came back like a hurricane.
So proud of you Jamerill for overcoming so much and becoming the beautiful woman and Mom you are today.
Yes I think the lense keeps changing as we grow and change as a person.
I’m still watching, but I’m sobbing. As a mama of two..one being in 1st grade and a newborn..my heart is broken for your childhood. I’m so proud of you. Im SO proud of the mom and wife you’ve become and all you’ve overcame.
I'm only 28 seconds in & tears are flowing down my face...I feel your pain. Going to watch the rest of your story now but wanted you to know how many of us care about, appreciate & value you - you are so very loved. God Bless you Jamerrill & thank you for bringing awareness & sharing your life with us.
As a friend once told me; “even a bad example can be a good example.” You are the living embodiment of that phrase. You chose a life of being a wonderful mamma to your kiddos. May God’s blessings bring you peace.
WHEW! That should be made into a prime-time mini-series! I watched it straight through. I cried with you, laughed with you, prayed for you and your Mama. Just want to say THANK YOU for being so brave and sharing your story. Many will see how well you've come through and will know that they can too. Bless you dear Sister in Christ, for spreading the Good News that Jesus Christ is your Savior and he Loves each and every one of us, no matter what. My Mama heart is so, so broken for little Jamerrill and all that you endured. Thank God for your little friends and their parents who offered you a respite from your circumstances. I'm so sorry that you, your Mom & your Dad didn't get the help you all so desperately needed, and you all fell through the cracks. So happy for you and Travis that you have such a beautiful life and family despite the hard life you were dealt. You are just BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING. Be well dear Sister, hugs to you and your Mama.
Thank you, Cindy ❤️
@@JamerrillStewart So very welcome, Sweet Sister💗
I agree . I would watch it . I’ve cried with you and smiled and prayed . Your precious hun . God bless you and your Mum ❤️🙏🏻
Me too! I’m just so thankful Jesus has blessed her and made her the woman she is today! It’s amazing! I’m thankful for her!
You are so brave to tell your story and I'm sure it has helped many. My Mother died when I was a child and my Father was an alcoholic so this brings back a lot of memories for me. I'm so glad you were able to turn your life around and give your children such a wonderful life. I know it was healing for me watching my daughters grow and live happier lives.
Oh Jamerril, I remember hearing the fighting and things crashing every night. I remember hearing my father yelling but I never hear my mother, I had to wait until morning to find out if my mother was still alive. I thank The Lord for keeping us alive. My father died when I was 9 years old, I felt it was Gods gift to my family.
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You know Jamerrill, the Bible says we can comfort each other with the comfort we’ve been comforted with…. PTL for your relationship with the Lord. None of us have probably “arrived” but some of us may be farther away from our painful experiences & are more healed than others. You’re so brave to share your story & I believe your story will help someone, Friend.
Amen.
Well said! As Jamerrill says “Yes and amen!”
Jamerrill, full disclosure. I’ve thought about your video & your decision to share it multiple times the past couple days. I have some additional thoughts to share in no particular order.
I love the verse in Joel 2:25 that says “….I will restore the years the locust has eaten…” I am so grateful for what the Lord has restored in your life-for the the husband you have in Travis & for the precious children he’s given you both.
Yes, hindsight is 20/20. Your Mom was living in very difficult circumstances, with a very unwell husband, during a very different time & for a long time, with little-to-no family support or outside help. I believe she, like most Moms, did the best she could at the time. If your Mom could do some things over, no doubt there are things she’d do differently. Wouldn’t we all?
The path of healing for each of you cannot have been an easy one. After all you’ve both been through, I’m so grateful for the relationship you have, & that your Mom is nearby & able to enjoy her Grandchildren. What an example of grace & grit you’re both enjoying. Your vision, hard work, & success is to be celebrated!! Thank you Jesus!!
I leave this conversation challenged to pay closer attention to the children around me. If I could hug “little Jamerrill” & solve all her troubles, I’d scoop her up & give her such a squeeze. But, would He use me to help a child that desperately needs an adult to take notice of them? Jamerrill, sharing your story has not been done in vain.
Both my parents were alcoholics.My mom's mom lived with us, she was severely mentally ill.I can relate to you about no one caring about you,taking care of yourself and finding your way. What I see now is King Jesus protected me and you. Proud of you.
The part when you watch your kids at the age of your biggest hardships just broke my heart. The fact that you and Travis found each other and created your family is a miracle. I believe it’s helping you heal through giving your children what you didn’t have. Still there are some parents who are harsh on their children because of their own childhood trauma. You are actively healing the next generation. I am trying my hardest ever day avoiding mistakes my parents made that were harmful to me. But at the same time realizing I will make different ones that my kids will probably have to heal from… Life is a mystery. Mysterious mess.
It took me three days to watch this all the way through. My heart is just in pieces for you now and for little 10 year old you. I understand your struggles because I've lived through hell and back also. I am so in awe of you! You are amazing! God is so so so good!!!!!
As a fellow mom who has created a new and beautiful path in the family history that looks brighter already! I want you to know you are amazing, strong and so empowering to other women/ mothers. Watch your health as you process these things. Very often our organs and other things that have been holding on by a shoe string till it was “safe” to fall apart will act up. The best thing is to rest, rest, & REST! So glad you have your beautiful family and supportive husband. Stay well, sweet momma! Love to you.
Had 17 1/2 years of violence -- nobody believed me because my family was well off. My dad was out working all the time -- my mum was hopeless and delusional. I survived it and can identify with what you are saying. To those who struggle -- you can pull through it all.
Jamerill thank you for sharing your story with us. I'm sure you felt emotionally drained after. It's taken my alcoholism & dreadful choices on my part to realise that there were even healthy options for me. I've spent a few years actively healing in my 40s & have rebuilt a relationship with my own mum. God is good xx
I've only gotten 1:42 into the video and I already wish I could give you a hug before you even go into anymore detail. You are such an inspiration and as a family who has also broken generational curses, I'm so proud of you.
I relate to your story SO much!! Growing up in a broken home, violent/abusive controlling step father and my mother being a soft place to land! I can relate to going hungry and not knowing where my next meal was coming from, chaos at home and just surviving the day! Even down to the point where having a sleepover at a friend's house felt like a vacation because it was "normal " or conforting to see loving parents or a family operate in such a way where there's family meals or we could go shopping 🛍 play outside and be a child again!! And being bullied at the bus stop or on the school bus because we couldn't afford the "fancy" name brand clothing! In New York where i grew up, we had Salvation Army thrift stores and they were the best places to shop for affordable clothing! I remember finding this magenta t-shirt with a giant picture of a cow on the front and it was my favorite t-shirt😅!!! I wore it FOR-E-VER and I remember getting made fun of for my cow shirt! But it was special to me and i wished i kept it!!
It really is the little things in life that you become grateful for! Praise the Lord for healing 🙏 and bringing Travis into your life! I'm also grateful for my husband of 15 years and 3 beautuful healthy kids💙. He was the very first man that I felt safe with and I knew he wouldn't hurt me!
I am encouraged to hear that you are doing well now and are still working through emotions from your past and the trauma it carries with it! I always say God helped me to forgive and to heal and close that chapter in my life. As a grown woman/wife/mother I can definitely look back and understand things I didn't know back then, but I know God has a purpose for my life and my story! Just as He does for you! I'm so glad I watched this! It's an encouragement to me!
While I can find similarities in our stories I know they are not the same and we each have our own unique journey/path that we're on! I'm just so glad you allowed the Lord to use you in this way!
God Bless 🙌
I remember the first time I watchee one of your videos - it was a meal prep video and I remember thinking “wow, she’s amazing being this organised and putting this much effort into her home and her family. I want to be like this one day”. Now hearing the kind of experiences you had growing up definitely makes me appreciate the place that you’re coming from when you do these videos and show other people how to do it too. Thanks so much for sharing your story! I’m at 1:30:45 and will be watching right to the end, it’s so valuable getting this perspective about your life 💛
Thank you for having the courage and wisdom to make this video. I had a rough childhood which has held me back in a lot of ways. But hearing your story has really encouraged me. I realize how much potential I have when I really couldn't see that before. This is the second time I have watched this and I plan to rewatch whenever I forget what a beautiful human being I am. Thanks for being a living example.
Also, Hearing this full story you just give your parents so much grace in the fact that they are just people and they both had their seasons where they were broken or that they struggled and the fact that you still love them and that you give them that Grace is amazing. I’m so sorry you found your dad that way.
Also ged here, and a masters degree!
so many of us did, our parents were just have children too young- not emotionally ready. we created a generation of trauma survivors. just cant wait for the next to do it right and oLDER
I’m so impressed by your emotional strength to record and share this part of your story. Love your videos and the peek into your life.
I don't think I've ever commented on any of your videos, but I've been watching you for a while now. I love watching your channel and listening to you talk while I'm cooking and cleaning. You have a gentle, merciful spirit, and it is refreshing. I think your story has resonated with many of us. My parents went through very similar situations with alcohol and abuse. I also dealt with a couple of guys who also had drinking/gambling problems. I'm just so grateful to be married now to a good man who came from a functional family and he has taught me so many lessons of love and forgiveness. When you grow up in a home with lots of turmoil, it can affect all your future relationships and how one deals with others. As a 37yo, I've had a lot of relearning to do. The Lord is always pruning me. I'm grateful God brought me a loving and respectable husband. But most importantly, Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Thank God for His Word and Truth. He has always been my anchor in this crazy and unstable world. He restores and redeems. Hallelujah 🙌
And I just want to add, it is amazing what humans can endure and recover from.
Wow!!!! Thanks you SO MUCH for opening up your life and sharing!! My heart goes out to you, your mom and your dad… Sharing your story is a huge reminder for adults to be more involved with children that we are around and make sure that they are safe and cared for. It truly takes a Village!!!! God has truly watched over you. You have grown to be a loving mother and wife! Any many blessings to your Mom as well!!
Oh Jamerrill, just 45 min in and my heart is with you. So so sad, yet what strength has come from such turmoil. How beautiful you have grown and what a gift of love and nurturing your mom has given you. And your gift to your children and husband, was to give them a healthy wife and mama, thus allowing a new generation to grow in love and Christ filled promises. Love your for sharing and blessings and prayers for all of you. 😍🥰❤️
Beautifully said🙏❤️🙏☝️👵
Amen 💗
Jamerrill thank you so much for your courageous share! So many of us have stories like yours, and it takes great courage to be able to talk about it and share it openly with others! Like Proverbs says as iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another. We learn the value of something by what we don't have! By that I mean basic things like love, food, and kindness. But these things can bring out the diamonds fire in ourselves and make us better people when we turn around and practice what our inner child always longed for by giving them, with an open heart, to others. You have shown us why food is important, why family is important, and how our Lord has seen you through and put together a package beautiful person who is compassionate and wanting only the best for their children and family in general. Your mama was a fighter and Some of the stuff she went through as a survivor of domestic violence. My husband was an alcoholic as well. It's so hard to get out of the situation because when you live like that you just don't think you can ever get away, and there's always good things about the partner along with the bad. God does always provide where he guides. When I finally got the courage to leave after 17 violent years, I decided I'd have to use them for good somehow and got on the domestic violence hotline. One day I saved an infant's life at Motel 6 when he got a penny stuck in his esophagus. He was crawling on the floor and I was talking to his mother who had been badly beaten by her boyfriend. At that time I knew I wouldn't have ever been there had I not gone through those years. I was bullied as a little girl in school as well. I was blind in one eye and the other one was stuck in toward my nose so one was going up and the other was stuck in. Kids are cruel. I always say kindness matters and try to practice that. I enjoy your videos comma that this one was extremely special! I'm glad you got time to yourself and that little house to look back and reflect, and to love that little girl well in the live deep within your heart. I'm glad she has you!
This video has definitely taught me to never judge a book by its cover. I have watched some of your videos for a few years and you always appeared to be supermom. Your a very strong woman.
Right?!? So many things where jamerill keeps cool, I would be so broken and she has the mental strength to work through it. She is definitely a role model for me.
What a story of survival………I had a similar childhood………BUT YOU AMAZE me in that you are so accomplished in your big family and your big lifestyle. I am riddled with anxiety and I have to have a very measured, small life. It’s interesting to hear your story……
I’ve just finished watching “your story” and I think you are amazing! Also, I’m sure “you have the patience of Job”, as the saying goes! I was a public school teacher and I had a few students durI got think of the story you told! I spent a lot of time helping them in as many different ways that I could. One would miss her bus home, especially after the first time I drove her home! I bought things for them, yet saved them until I was sure it was the perfect time for giving them. I could not stand to see any of my students go without, but I always found private times to present them to each student. I bought new shoes, jackets, and clothing, yet I found private ways to give to those who needed them, or when cold weather made it necessary to have them. My husband was with me all the way, telling me not to come home until I had managed to get what the students needed! He was from a huge family and he said there were times that he or some of his siblings were minus gloves, hats, or school supplies.
I feel for your mom. It’s so easy to pass judgment when you have never experienced these things. I recently just left my abusive alcoholic husband with my 3 children. Thank goodness you had your mom and aunt. Even though I’m a 26 year old online stranger, I am so proud of you and the life that you have built.❤️
Emotional abuse, verbal abuse is still abuse. I feel for you and your family.
I just heard your heartfelt video… I was raised by a alcoholic mother and a father that traveled for his work. I feel your pain, heartaches. But you prevailed and have become the parent that any child would loved to have. Seeing your videos has always touched my heart and I’ve thought many times I would have loved to have had a mother like you. God Bless you always🙏🏼
Jamerrill, I have been watching you since 2015, and I mean it when I say I am sitting here bawling my eyes out. You did not deserve this. I am so incredibly sorry no one was there to help you, and I am SO PROUD of the life you’ve been able to built considering what you’ve been through. Thank you for always inspiring me, a 27 year old woman with no children, no religion, and basically nothing in common with you, to always be a better person. ❤️
You are a true overcomer. Thank you for sharing this very vulnerable story. My heart hurts for 10 year old Jamerrill, and I hope so many of us mommas will now be keeping our eyes and ears open for little Jamerrills that might need our help for however brief or long a time. ❤️
I have a 10yo girl and I was thinking the same. I want to find all the Jamerills and hug them so close . 💗
The bravery, forgiveness, and strength literally radiated from this video. We have a lot in common. Your pain and hope for healing was palatable. You have OVERCOME! I know it’s a journey. I have even more respect and admiration for you and God certainly had a plan. We don’t always understand it but we know He’s there. So much about your life now makes sense. The homeschooling, the meals, the wisdom, the LOVE that radiates off of you toward your children, it’s all the journey. May God continue to bless you and hold you through the tough times. I love that you have grace with the relationship with your mom. None of us are perfect and we give what we can in that season of life. I’m so happy you and your mom could mend and help to heal each other. God bless Jamerrill!
My parents also raised Arabian horses. Our Stallion, Nafar, was grandson of Witez II. He was a bay, 4 matched stocking, perfect star marking. It was fun to hear Witez II mentioned !
I listened carefully to your every word and will not soon forget your story. Thank you for having the courage and strength to share it with us. I will always take notice of the child, or person in need, that’s fallen ‘under the radar’. God bless you and your family, Jamerrill.❤
I am actually speechless (for once). How you have become the well rounded, successful, loving individual you are is purely down to you and pure determination and grit. You must be the strongest lady I know of. Unbelievable.
It’s all to the glory of God. She’s glorifying the Lord Jesus Christ!!!
You are simply amazing!
I too have a “story “ and have been blessed so much to be able to share it with my clients at our crisis pregnancy center, and can share that I was a pregnant teen, gave my daughter up for adoption, married my high school sweetheart but he was unfaithful our entire marriage, he left me with two little boys for another woman, I left hurt and angry and ended up pregnant and had a doctor encourage me to end my pregnancy in a hospital due to complications… and after all that God sent me a wonderful man ! We just celebrated 30 years of marriage, are involved in church and I have been with our CPC for 23 years.
It is amazing how God has allowed me to touch the lives of hundreds of clients, able to truly relate to where they are and help them heal.- Totally His doing!!
Jamerrill, thank you for your courage. I'm grateful you shared your story and I got to hear it. Sending you much love and respect 💕
Took me 3 days (being a busy mommy) to listen to the whole video. Soooo glad I did. Everyone needs a friend, a prayer, food, running water, shelter and guidance. I’m so thankful for you sharing your struggles and others can relate and you inspire so many with this platform. You’re one brave lady and you are a WARRIOR! Your children are blessed to call you Mom! ❤🎉😘💪🏻
I listened to this driving the 5 hrs to bury my dad. You are inspiring. Write a book. This is a story that can help and inspire so many
So sorry that you lost your Dad! It is not easy to lose a parent. Hope your memories are good and give you comfort.
im sorry for the loss of your dad, stay strong honey.
much love and respect and a big hug...
Hugs!!! May The LORD comfort you! Sorry about Dad.
@@Nwladylaura369 I am so sorry for your loss.
I watched this with such pain in my heart for you. I cried wishing I could go change your childhood, but then I thought what a strong, intelligent woman you became. What a inspiration you are. I pray God blesses you and your family forever and always.
Over coming such dark times is amazing! Prayers to you and your mom . . .you are worriers🙏
Oh my goodness! Been peeling and slicing apples while listening. Felt like therapy to my heart! I remember times hiding in our closet as kids while Dad was in a drunken rage with my poor Mom. I had my sisters to huddle with. I wish we could've been there with you and hugged you into our little group!😥 I'm 63 but still remember the fear and worry! But God brought us all through it! We are stronger and try to be more loving to others. My son has grown up to be kind always! He's a defender of the less fortunate!❤ I know you're teaching those kids to treat people right too! God bless you for sharing!
My kiddos are the same age as I was when some awful things happened in my own childhood... and I am so very protective of them bc I know what I went through. I appreciate you sharing your story, Jamerrill - youll never know how much this means to people like me
Thanks so much for watching and sharing, Amanda ❤️
So sorry you had to deal with this Childhood trauma is the worse I was 3 when my Dad left us for another woman and because he had the better job he eventually got custody of myself 3 and my brother 5 his new wife was very abusing to me my Mom got us back after a year because she noticed the bruising and broken are but she also remarried when I was 13 and her husband also physically abused me I was 16 and pregnant and married a man 23 years older and had 2 more daughters I made a promise when I had my first daughter that nobody would ever abuse my children and now grandchildren abuse is a lot to overcome if we ever really do especially when your parents are supposed to protect there children always I was also in a very abusive 3rd marriage for 18yrs until 8 years ago and now at 65 I am finally free I don’t think I would be here today if it wasn’t for my Lord and Savior
@@LuwanaWard1974 you're a strong lady to have made it through these terrible situations. The best is yet to come my friend💞
Your story is so similar to mine. I could put myself in there and know exactly what you felt.
Same here 🥺
I’m so sorry you went through so much! I was in tears thinking about you and your Mom having to deal with all of those things. Thank you for sharing your story. It is so important that people know what some children suffer through. When people tell their stories it provides awareness, so people understand we need to keep vigilant in helping children. Jamerrill you are an amazing survivor!
That’s the most horrific account of child neglect I’ve ever heard! I wish I could hug you! 💖
I got to the :26 second and had tears in my eyes, I am an empath and also a survivor of 2 parents that were alcoholics, my Mother was so depressed from being abused that she attempted suicide countless times and spent a big part of her life in Mental Hospitals that administered shock treatments to her even while she was pregnant with me, they treated the illness only, not the pregnancy, she passed at the age of 44, all this to say I am pausing this until I go to bed where I can cry unheeded without my Grandson hearing me. Blessing to you Jammerill and to all of you who have been in similar situtations. We are SURVIVORS.
Your mother was so abused that her body gave out. It is alot if trauma to go thru abuse of a spouse. I was bedridden and ended up in disability. 😭
All empaths were children of abuse.
We are survivors!
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🙏🏼💜
I loved this story, my mom left my abusive dad when I was about 5, she remarried the most wonderful man who raised me and my siblings as his own, I often wonder what would have happened to me without my "stepdad" who became the dad every family deserves. I cried with you, God Bless you, I was molested at 13 and could never tell my parents as I felt so much shame, I too became addicted to alcohol when i was in my 40's but as of today i am 15 years sober. Alcoholism is a disease that destroys family's, I am so glad you do not drink, thank you for all you do to help so many.
Omg I am going thru this now I just left my child's father after 10 years together he was an absuive achollcic. He continues to remain me that no man will ever love or treat his kids like his own. And that all of them will use and abuse me. I am just trying to stay closer to the Lord and help guide me thru the right path .
I just want to tell you what an inspiration you have been over the last few years since discovering your channel. Thank you for all of it and for sharing your story. A few tears watching this one, but also a reminder that there is always hope and with an attitude like yours life will always be beautiful 💖
I’m so sorry you went through that Jamerrill! You deserve all of the success you have and will have. It all makes sense how you are the way you are! Thanks for sharing such personal moments. You are helping people by sharing your struggle. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I am so glad you and your Momma were able to find your ways through the storm and back to each other. You both deserve every happiness that comes your ways. I see you as a hard working, family oriented, God loving woman and I am so proud to have heard your story. You rock!!!❤
I am continually amazed by you! All you are able to do, no one would believe you had such sadness to carry. You are correct, we all have a story and they are all important, thank you for sharing yours with us. God has got you, may he continue to bless you! Sending lots of love and virtual hugs from Ohio ❤️🙏
Thank you for sharing your story and testimony. Isn't it amazing how blessed we can be! I love you! Thank you again, been watching for years I couldn't do this mama thing without you. Bless you
Your story is incredible. I watched every minute. I keep thinking of all the kids right now who are just “flying under the radar”. Breaks my heart.