Engineer/Comedian | Don McMillan Comedy
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
- What do you get when you cross a comedian and an Engineer?
🌐Social Media🌐
📶Facebook: / donmcmillan
📶Twitter: / donmcmillan
🤓Don’s Bio🤓
America's #1 Nerdy Comedian
What do you get when you cross an Engineer with a stand-up comedian? You get Don McMillan. This former chip designer has been doing his one-of-a-kind, PowerPoint-Driven comedy show for audiences for over 20 years. In his show packed with graphs & charts, Don will show you the funny side of your world that has been sitting right in front of you - you are just too busy working to notice. Don graduated from Stanford University with a Master’s Degree in Electrical Engineering. He then went to work at AT&T Bell Labs where he was part of the team that designed the world’s first 32-bit microprocessor. He then moved to Silicon Valley where he helped launch the start-up company, VLSI Technology. Then after 15 years in the tech world, Don quit his job to become a stand-up comedian. That year he won $100,000 as the Comedy Grand Champion on “Star Search”. Don’s been seen on “The Tonight Show”, “HBO”, and the “Comedy Central”. These days, Don spends most of his time writing and performing customized corporate comedy shows for companies like Google, Apple, Amazon, Microsoft, Ford Motors, and Exxon/Mobil. Don has performed more than 800 corporate shows in the last 20 years and he was named the #1 Corporate Comedian by the CBS Business Network.
#comedy #engineer #standup #jokes #funny
He’s pretty good. I’ll keep an ion him.
🙄
Wow, this is an amazing pun
😂
😂😂😂
So you're positive that McMillan's funny, yet you're radiating negativity? Perhaps your cat will keep an ion him. 🤭
A termite walks into a bar and says “hey, where is the bar tender?”
🤔
His jokes catalyzed my humor response.
As a plain old mechanical engineer, the third joke took me a moment, I had to pause the video, but my analysis yielded the same result lol
Oh no. I got the third joke. Not right away, but on second watching.
Unfortunately also, once I got it, I found that the funniest of the three😨
I'm sorry but the last one is funny in every possible universe this joke is told
8f he taught high school science there would be better science scores!
So, American Association of Physicists. Is that the American Physical Society or the American Institute of Physics?
I loved #3.
Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car. They get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?"
"No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg replies.
The cop says "You were doing 55 in a 35." Heisenberg throws up his hands and shouts "Great! Now I'm lost!"
The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says "Do you know you have a dead cat back here?"
"We do now, asshole!" shouts Schrodinger.
The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.
Schrodinger took his cat to the vet.
The vet said, I have good news and bad news.
I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov's Dog and Schrodinger's Cat
She said it rang a bell but wasn't sure if it was there or not.
There's one kind of people in this world.
Those who know about Schrodinger, and those who don't.
Schrodinger's cat robbed a bank
He's wanted dead and alive.
An Abelian group walks into a bar. The bartender says, "How's the traffic tonight?" The Abelian group says, "Horrible! I hate commuting!"
Sorry, I guess math humor doesn't work with a physics crowd.
@@zanti4132 Mathematician here. I love it!
😅
Oof! That Hertz!
The sheer confidence it takes to intentionally tell a bad joke, then explain that joke to your audience. I'm blown away
Plus the skill to make it funny _by_ explaining it. Jokes are almost never made funny by explaining them.
How was that a bad joke?
@svenyboyyt2304 As a standalone, without explanation, it is a bad joke because few will understand it. With the explanation, it becomes funny. I needed the mention of Heisenberg because I thought the 88 mph was a reference to Back to the Future, so I was looking for a relativity joke.
An optimist sees a glass half full, a pessimist sees it half empty, an engineer sees a glass twice as big as it needs to be
No, the engineer sees a glass with good safety capacity,
the accountant sees a glass twice as large as necessary.
Under most circumstances on earth, the glass will contain half water/half air and therefore be full.
Project management will ask which half of the glass is empty, the left or the right.
Upper management will ask for a 58% reduction in glass next fiscal year.
An opportunist drinks the water.
@@analoguejerry9066and slept with both your mothers while you debated (SMBC)
Chemistry joke:
Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have a glass of H2O." The second one says, "I'll have a glass of H2O too."
The second one died.
I didnt get that?
@@galaxyofmine hydogen peroxide H2O2
Very good. May I use that?
In return, I’ve always been quite fond of this one …
The barman says ‘I’m sorry sir. We don’t serve faster than light particles in here’.
A neutrino walks into a bar.
@@razzle1964 Nice, except that neutrinos aren't faster than light.
@@razzle1964 I stole the H2O2 joke from Jamie Hyneman. I don't know where he got it.
Only Don could take explaining a joke--something that usually makes the joke less funny--apply it to a joke that already isn't funny, and make the joke funny.
Oh, those were all funny.
A photon goes to a hotel. The Bellhop ask if he has any luggage. The photon says "No, I'm traveling lite."
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
THAT JOKE ALONE WONT GET YOU FAR, IT HAS NO STAYING POWER. NO INERTIA.
(it was perfect.)
such an underrated comedian
Honestly
Because his popularity is directly proportional to the ratio of society that has the intellectual capacitance to understand the content of his jokes. I was surprised at the amount of people that laughed at the second joke. I personally thought the third joke was the best.
He’s rated exactly where he belongs.
@@TheMonkeygruntr/iamverysmart
A quark walked into a bar, and became the bartender on deep space 9
What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!
This truly was brilliant! I was at a wedding just last night speaking to an engineer and sharing some science jokes… I’m more of a math guy, and told him I could start telling math jokes, but I would likely go off on a tangent.
This literally happened last night… When science jokes meet dad jokes, it is a wonderful combination!
“Go off on a tangent” 😂
Got the uncertainty joke once he mentioned uncertainty. I am damn impressed by anyone who gets it before the reveal.
The 88 MPH threw me off, I thought he was going for a BTTF reference.
I figured that's where he was going as soon as the cop gave a precise measurement of the electron. Just wasn't exactly sure what the punchline was going to be.
As soon as he said an electron was driving down the highway I thought, "speed, Heisenberg, cop pulls him over, location." The exact punchline could be a few things but driving and speeding or driving and being lost are both pretty common reasons to set up driving as part of a joke.
@@Wythaneye Yep, same here😁
Once he asks the cop where he is though he will take off with an unknown velocity. ;)
Heisenberg is at a Bar. He has no idea how he got there.
The third joke is most certainly the funniest, the fact that only 3 people in the room got it right away put him in an award position & is an accurate representation of the state of our education system. Funny physics & social commemt occupying the same space, wow
My dad was a physisist, and the only joke they had was, the difference between a physicisist and a chemist is that the chemist washs his hands before going to the bathroom.
When I got the third joke (the electron one) before he explains it, my brain was almost exploded because of joy and nerdiness
I'll own up to pausing the video until the penny dropped.
Mee too!
I barely made it thru chemistry for my engineering degree I did not get it
@@noodengr3three825it's a quantum physics joke. Not chemistry.
Heisenberg's uncertainty principle says that you can't know the speed and position of a Quant at the same time
An optimist sees a glass half full, a pessimist sees it half empty, a maths person says, "depends on the derivative".
(Is it being filled or emptied?)
Engineer says,"you have twice as much glass as you need..."
man, i was sure the electron-freeway joke was going to end up with some sort of magnetic field punchline. that was over when the car stopped though, i guess.
I don't have a life, I guess, because "now I'm lost" was the only punchline that made me really laugh.
Heisenberg uncertainty principle = it’s impossible to know both the speed and position (location) of an electron at the same time
I wish I had a life
But then I won't get the joke
Ah the dilemma
Technically heckled..."Teckled". And, if you blush as a result, teckled pink.
as an electrician i got that last joke. but i also felt bad about knowing that last joke.....
Electricians have nothing better to do than argue about philosophy.
@@jonbold just about every day my old boss would curse up a storm wondering how he got such incompetent workers and why he even bothers. 😂
Didn't have high expectations but that had me in stitches.
Still the smartest comedy I have ever seen :)
2:16 "technically heckled"
would that be 'teckled' or 'techled'?
Portmanteaus are the lowest form of humor.
I should know, because it's my only form of humor.
Yes, it would. Thank you for asking.
I suddenly feel the urge to look up the Heisenberg uncertainty principle.
Don't, unless you have a month to spare.
So Einstein stated that energy cannot be created or destroyed, which proves he never drank a Red Bull or was asked to put on a condom...
Comedian: Do you know any jokes I can tell to a group of urologists?
Me: Yeah, just sing a song by Urethra Franklin.
I got all those jokes (yay for being an engineer 😂)
That is amazing. You had me laughing out load. My wife was eye rolling. She said you can tell he's an engineer from his plaid shirt.
Don can I hire you for my high school science lessons? You are amazing 👍
Well, I'm a 1-percenter by ONE criterion anyway.
This is great. He should be part of the Festival of the Spoken Nerd. He would be a perfect fit.
Next video search: what is the heisenberg uncertainty principle?
Instant subscriber here.
Well done, sir! 😂🙌
You are just loveable :) Greetings from Poland.
So according to the last joke I'm in the 1%
My physics teacher in high school kicked a trash can across the room and yelled “physics!” Within the first 10 minutes of the first day of school. Physics is fun
I had no idea Jamie Lannister did stand-up!
Hey Don for your first joke i understand the part about atom losing the electron and being positive but why did it ask for a double? and what beverage was the double? i want to analyze this deeper
Remember: Drink is not the solution, but it is a solution 🤣
Space tells matter how to move.... Matter tells space just to f*** off because it's having a bad day.
What? No quantum mechanics humor? How about a Not/Not joke?
A: Quantum Dice Clay!
Q: Quantum Dice who?
A: Quantum Dice.
Q: Who's there?
A: Not/Not!
Catalysts don’t start things. That’s moving toward a lower energy state. All about entropy,
Really, even knowing the Uncertainty Principle, by which if you measure the electron's velocity now the position has a very high uncertainty, you can't ask an instantaneous reaction for that train of thought.
It's actually easier if you only know the simplified version "you can know the speed or you can know the position, never both", it clicked immedeatly
Ah damnit. I understood all of 'em. Lack of a life confirmed. 😢
I thought the 88mph was a reference to back to the future
red herring I think
in essence it’s about:
A) once you measure the speed, you don‘t know where it is.
B) once you determine the location, you don’t know how fast it goes.
fun fact: Star Trek „fixed this“ with the Heisenberg Compensator.
A trustworthy comedian… now that’s a well balanced lifestyle!
I didn’t get the last one but I’ve heard a HUP joke before and understood it and laughed…so horrify for the 1%?
Chemist here. My first thought was the first joke was a chemistry joke. My family gave me the shirt a few years ago. I technically don't fit into any of the Venn diagram crossovers until the last one.
I think I would make a good comedian for warehouse and logistic jokes. It’s finding your audience and knowing that some jokes are just gold for that particular type of people. Niches
I live in Israel, and we have a superconductivity problem. Thousands of ohmless cats.
Finally, Werner Heisenberg got the last laugh and Max Planck is cowering in shame!
Next level of dad jokes!
The next jokes will be about the quantum phenomenon :)
wholesome jokes!! subscribed after watching only 1 vid of you. lmao
For the first time in my life I made an acoustic laugh while watching a youtube video it was only a "h" but the bad part is it was because of the last joke....
Well, I laughed at the electron joke! Ofc, I am an engineer.... 🙂
totally shocked, you can tell a joke without profanity? outrageous!
I just looked up the Heisenberg Principal and my brain still hurts 😳🤯
MEGA ROFL!!!!!!!!
I like the Heisenberg one the best. My kind of humor!
A quarter of the population has never been to a bar? Are the lawyers in Texas included in that survey?
How many of you guys googled stuff?
This last one WAS GENIOUS! :D
That was Heisenberg's uncertainity principle.
Love being part of the 1%.
Came here after seeing a 12 year old routine of you're about PowerPoint presentations. Comedy level maintained; 🎉
An atom walks in at a bar. He missed the play on a bar being a unit of pressure.
I got that joke. Sad now. Greeting from the 1%.
It took me about 20 seconds to get the third joke. Is that good or bad?
I thought that's what most engineering professors act like.
As an engineer i got the last joke..😂 i have no life
I find the blue humor off-putting.
and they (atoms) travel at discreet energy levels
this was great hahaha
Where's the Super Thanks button?
Apparently I don't have a life 😅
3:50 and I realize I don't have a life.
Great comedy. I now understand.
Oh no! I got the last joke 😂 that was well done.
I love this guy... should've won
Why this man is not the mayor of San Jose is a mystery to me.
Because San Jose votes for homelessness, wokery and expensive housing.
Hahahaha 😂
... was 88 miles per hourchosenat random?
red herring towards back to the future I guess.
Im among the one percent.
Thank you
I love you
😂
Guess, I am in that 1% 😅
The 88 mph “Back To The Future” reference had me distracted so I completely missed the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle angle lol.
Very good!!!
He's very good ! Everything he says makes me burst out laughing! Good clean fun ! So glad I found him!
very funny!!!!!
#3 was the best.