The Expert (Short Comedy Sketch)
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- Опубликовано: 22 мар 2014
- Subscribe for more short comedy sketches & films: bit.ly/laurisb Buy Expert shirts & hoodies at laurisb.myshopify.com/ Funny business meeting illustrating how hard it is for an engineer to fit into the corporate world! Watch the next episodes: bit.ly/SquareProjectEp1, bit.ly/SquareProjectEp2 & bit.ly/SquareProjectEp3
Starring: Orion Lee, James Marlowe, Abdiel LeRoy, Ewa Wojcik, Tatjana Sendzimir.
Subtitles available in many, many languages (enable them using the "Subtitles/Closed Captions" button). A big thank-you to everyone who translated! You can add new subtitles here: ruclips.net/user/timedtext_vide...
Written & Directed by Lauris Beinerts
Based on a short story "The Meeting" by Alexey Berezin
Produced by Connor Snedecor & Lauris Beinerts
Director of Photography: Matthew Riley
Sound Recordist: Simon Oldham
Production Designer: Karina Beinerte
1st Assistant Director: James Hanline
Make-up Artist: Emily Russell
Editor: Connor Snedecor
Sound Designer: James Bryant
Colourist: Janis Stals
Animator: Benjamin Charles
The original short story about drawing seven red lines "The Meeting" (in Russian): alex-aka-jj.livejournal.com/66...
The Expert shirt campaign is over, but let me know if you'd be interested, you can check it here: bonfire.com/the-expert
We made this video using:
- Canon 7D camera: amzn.to/1FuXXVv
- Final Cut Pro 7: amzn.to/1Lt7UrZ
- Web-based Cyrillic converter: 2cyr.com/
- The Hospital Club premises for a stage test (only partially recorded...): thehospitalclub.com/
- Libre Office Calc to make sense of the shot list...
- 7 different markers and an empty juice pack to get the right sound
- 7 red lines
- A bottle of single malt whiskey
Funny short comedy films / sketches / skits & any other videos / movies made by Lauris Beinerts.
If you like to laugh, subscribe for new (albeit irregular) videos!
Семь красных линий
Гуманитарий и инженер
Дизайнер и заказчик
工程师心里的痛只有工程师能懂
史上最悲催工程师 如何用透明笔画出红色线条
#ShortComedySketch #expert 
Приколы
You can now buy Expert shirts & hoodies at laurisb.myshopify.com/
For all the experts out there who can do absolutely anything they're asked to, this is the ideal garment for your office battles.
A sketch idea would be where the sales team already sold a solution, overpromising to the client and you come in clueless not sure if it's even possible, you would just have to figure it out yourself or else it's all your fault. lol
or do one with you doing tech support for a product or solution, doing remote access for a customer, haha or
how about those sprints with kanban boards where management tries to hype everyone up.
Lauris are you British?
@@notgadot, no, I'm Latvian.
@@notgadot no, I'm Latvian.
@@LaurisB Latvia is my favorite Baltic state.
This is not comedy, this is corporate life.
This is tragedy.
This is life.
Tragedy is just comedy which hasn't come to fruition.
It is my life...
This is IT.
I thought comedy was meant to make you laugh, not give you extreme anxiety.
I really felt for the engineer, but then I found it funny when i stopped thinking about it too much
I really fell myself in this affirmation, this video made me wanted to jump off the window.
tarael86 this is British comedy. You’re not supposed to laugh. You’re supposed to have an existential crisis.
It workst best when you are already been made anxious, in thet scenario it is wierdly calming
what makes me sad is that its basicly how a problem solving meeting feels like at my workplace, wen the forign owners dont understand that the entire productionline crashed because they forced it to run at 200% its intended value for several weeks, while the entire production line is a Pilot programme from 1996 designed to run small baches over 1 week periods whit full cleanouts inbetween. they have in recent years invested millions in increasing the rate where we can mix the chemicals and create the chrystals., and increase the rate we can pack it. but they havent spent a dime on how fast we can seperate the chrystals from the liquids, or how fast we can dry them before it goes to packing. and still after 8 years its like talking to a brick wall wen we the workers try to explain the problem.
This is not a comedy sketch, this is a horror film. A+
I thought that too
Facts
Based on true story nonetheless
Hell Yeah
Lived this, yes it is. Dear God it is.
That “executive” was spot on. Perfect, totally disengaged from the details, totally oblivious to how things really work. Too funny.
Trying to appear knowledgeable to act condescending but only knows surface level information enough to convince the clients who also have half baked info that he knows what he's doing. Meanwhile, you look like an unimaginative moron with no vision because you apparently can't picture what this super genius guy is able to totally understand.
@@notgadot it's just business humor
@@rasmus5079 *humoUr .it shows the British geniusnesz😎🍿👍
@@rasmus5079 Unfortunately, reality for way to many!
And doesn't care to learn.
As an engineer, I eventually learned to just agree with them and then did whatever actually needed to be done- knowing they'd never even know the difference.
That's what he did at the end.
That's part of being good at your job; interpreting their needs into what actually can be done and only telling them what is strictly necessary.
"does it work like i want to?" "yes" "ok you're dismissed"
As an engineer before, I did exactly the same. It's quite astonishing to see some people high above have no fucking clue about primary school level physics. How the fuck could you ignore "friction" I couldn't believe it
thank you for sharing that knowledge that can only be acquire with only experience.
This is not fiction. This is a documentary on exactly what experts are treated like if they are forced to work under idiots.
Yeap! been there!
And my situation
This is how Trump treats his experts. If they dont give the answer he wants he fire's them.
True...ultimately they fired me saying i am not "Expert" lol
@MorTobXD This also happens in CS. Sorry to burst your bubble.
I revisit this video every few years, and it gets better and better. Whoever wrote that sketch truly has a deep understanding of the corporate world.
I imagine they went to a single meeting and decided to make a skit
@@someasiandude4797if you've been to a single meeting, you've been to all of them
Glad you liked it :)
Or a deep understanding of the government world!
@@uhrguhrguhrg i can't stand them. Its worse than family gathering
I cannot overstate how absolutely perfect 2:25 is:
- the specs are murky AF
- you ask the customer to clarify
- they realize they do not understand what they want or are asking for
- they bounce it back to you b/c "you are the expert and you should know what applies"
- your sales team speaks for you" of course we do know what you mean!"
*realiSe
@@notgadot UK: realise, US: realize
To start, the first question should have been:
What problem are you trying to solve?
They are bringing the expert a "solution", not the problem. Experts solve problems.
@@GrumpyBearU_UK is correct.
@@notgadot I hope what you mean to say is that @GrumpyBearU_U is correct to note the two different spellings depending upon one's origin or intended format, because to insist that only one of the two is "correct" would be narrowminded and stupid. So clearly you meant to thank our grumpy friend.
You know you're an engineer when this doesn't feel like a joke anymore
@@neshura When you get a sales team it gets worse. They sell the eye from you head, sign the contract and then you have to deliver. Management won't be bothered until you have no eyes left to sell. Then it is your fault for running out of eyes.
Never lose your sense of humor, please
When clients do not know what they want, deliver what you can invoice to them!
Yup, I actually started to feel anxious watching this.
I felt like screaming, I have been the expert in sessions like this.
The scariest thing about this video is just how relatable this is to software developers explaining things to CEO's/Execs.
yup, this is an accurate representation of every single meeting I attended. Very exciting indeed...
My boss few years back, notoriously printed sha256 of files to check. Then he got printed out list of sha256 with comments about files. Now he uses chat.
You think this applies only to the software?
Try being embedded software, it goes beyond just the tippy tappy
@@cpK054L username checks out... Could you elaborate a bit though? Don't wanna make you more frustrated either.
Lol exactly my experience
3:25 I love her expression drawing the lines - excited and confident as she solves the "impossible" problem :)
I was expecting a round of applause from the group 😆
@@2bfrank657 same
people who know nothing about it love telling experts they are wrong
Confidently incorrect in action
@@duckqueak this... concerning every complex piece of software I have made/will make
As someone who works in client service, I come back to this sketch once in a while. I'm not even an engineer or artist, but I genuinely think this is one of the most perfect satires of the modern professional world in existence. The presumptuousness of the requests, the constant distracted off-topic additions to the ask, the way the client lead quickly checks her pages of notes "that's... what it says here" like she has no idea what she's even asking, and the best part is the end - there's always that point where you mentally just give up on trying to explain why the given task is impossible, play the politics game, and tell them "of course I can do that", give them what's within the limits of reality, and hope they don't notice it's not exactly what they asked for.
Very well said...
ahhh I am mechanical engineer. I am also sometimes come back to watch this again. and read comments
You've hit the nail on the head here - there is a certain - non sensicalness to the request. No one really knows what they are trying to acheieve. The opening "business speak" and then request for 7 red lines. It's something I've seen before (and will again) - requests where the customer wants to come off as being "good" has already come up with the solution and what they want. TBH I normally find the correct approach is to go back and ask "what is the problem" - normally then an expert will give you some practical solutions that could work.
Thing is even when you do give them exactly what they want to the letter and in the spirit of they still change their mind in UAT
You might even end up giving them exactly what they needed (instead of what they asked for) and there is a 1% chance they will thank you for it. But then again, I am eternally optimistic.
"Geometry"
- "Just ignore it."
G E N I US
So in the end they were right!
The expert should have requested THIS in a list by email or some writen down document... Words are gone with the wind...
Euler seeing this 👁👄👁
That's the night before maths test
You can draw 7 lines all perpendicular to each other, you just need 7 dimensions, and I would just draw two perpendicular lines and say that they aren't able to perceive all the other lines but they are there
Nature laws - just ignore them. Mankind stupidity is endless.
After the end, everyone gets promoted, except the Expert.
true.
so true, it hurts.
The corporation gives a Management Appreciation Banquet where all the managers get bonuses and promotions for the outstanding job they did managing the expert. They tell personal stories of their greatness to impress each other and make jokes about the dumb, sweaty underpaid expert who is back at the plant actually producing a product which enables the managers to live their parasitic lifestyle.
but he don't see overall picture. it wasn't a hard task. only 7 lines, not 12.
And the career savy experts see this and go into management
I've done QA for about 8 years, and I've sat through many conversations like this. The way I've found to get everyone on the same page is to say "yes, and..." and begin listing off the expenses you'll need to make a red line with green ink. They seem to start scaling back and clarifying real quick.
Good life-hack!! 💪👍👍
"I can certainly draw your seven red lines with a green marker! It will just cost about 10x of your current budgeted amount."
"What should we do then?"
"I'd personally draw the red lines with a red marker."
"But we only have green markers?"
"Well you have enough in your budget to get some red ones."
"Oh lovely, let's do that then!"
"Okay, so we need equipment for drawing in seven-dimensional space, which I'm pretty sure the company doesn't have. The good news is that next to the expenses of researching the physics necessary to invent it, the chemistry involved in using green or transparent ink to make red lines is a drop in the bucket."
This comment is gold ,need more likes to this❤
Pretty much, it works in many cases. Tells them their idea falls flat on their faces.
I've worked in design for almost 23 years now, and this skit was so painfully true of my management. My boss once demanded that I mix two pigment colours to get Yellow. I asked him which two colours did he suggest I use, and he got blustery and said "I'm not the expert! You are!".
Did you settle on Yellow and Yellow?
@@rumpelstiltskin6150 Yup. we had limited colours for a project so I dropped green and halftoned blue and yellow to make it instead. Just thought it was hilarious he was demanding that I mix yellow. Over my years in design, I've learned that 50% of the job is problem solving, often for idiots.
@@solidshadow01 Another 40% is solving *around* the idiots, leaving ~10% for the actual work.
Well... you are the expert, obviously. But isn't yellow made by just mixing red and green? 🤔
@@ObjectiveObserver That is true if you are adding light. But paints are subtractive and yellow is a primary in that case.
All that's missing are the behind-the-back complaints about Anderson's "negative attitude" later on.
How he thinks he knows everything!
Yup, and HR council "helping" you to understand that your technical questions made one team member felt "stupid" and were in fact micro-aggressions.
@@dexio85 Or you get told that you need to be a team player and support the companies goals.
"You might not think this is the best way to do things, but trust that we know what we are doing and go along with it, negativity doesn't help anyone"
@@dexio85 just thinking about how true your comment is gives me anxiety
@@phantomlord4648 Yeah... "based on a true story". Modern corpo is fucked.
Or, as Charles Bukowski would put it...
“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.”
Dunning-kruger effect.. damn.
Dunning-kruger effect. damn.
@@alfwok It's actually a variant of a couple of lines from Yeats' "The Second Coming": "The best lack all conviction, while the worst / Are full of passionate intensity." www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43290/the-second-coming
Please change the "stupid ones" to intellectual ones.
@@VAmper67 I think you miss the point, although I conceded it is most rude to call someone stupid
As a software engineer, this is painfully relatable. But the worst part is that, when you somehow managed to draw seven perpendicular transparent lines with red ink, a more senior developer of the team comes and says that your solution is incorrect, not elegant, and of course, he'd done it better in much less time
Right. Copying the drawing and not the pain of figuring out the task.
I mean, you were supposed to draw RED lines with TRANSPARENT ink, so...
Are you sure you don't know Tim B.?
And the senior is correct. You'll realise in 5-10 years.
Same boat but I'm a senior dev who had to unfortunate experience of dealing with those types of senior devs. They tend to be the ones who sit on Stackoverflow waiting to downvote and delete questions. Glad AI is putting them in their place too
"And then you, engineers, do your magic." I still remember these words as if they were said yesterday.
I’m sorry
The expert's salary is the lowest of any in the meeting.
That is correct.
You can bet on that!
Have you ever seen a PM's salary relative to the team?
But he's Asian
Then they pull in a consultant who makes more than all of them. The consultant creates enough pre-requisites to obscure the original project to the point of ambiguity, and sets the whole group down a new path of spending. Until the consultant is blamed and fired, promoting Anderson for keeping it on the rails, and starting the whole cycle all-over again. Eventually Anderson is C-level, and keeps the churn going to deflect attention from his own hollow position. Don't feel bad for Anderson
This reminds me of a meeting I had at my last job where I had to explain to two levels of management why a DC power supply can't have more power at the output than it has at the input. The upper manager told me to use a DC to DC converter. After explaining that DC to DC converter can either raise the voltage at the cost of lowering the current or raise the current at the cost of lowering the voltage he told me to just put one of each which will give you more voltage and more current for more power. After I exaplained to them why this was impossible they said "how do you know, you haven't even tried it!" and threatened to take disciplinary measures for my "unwillingness to follow instruction".
That's when I wrote my resignation letter. I signed up to work on remote and autonomous vehicles, not get disrespected for understanding the laws of physics.
This video is far too realistic.
Follow the rules and take the salary
@@mpt2878 If they paid decently then sure but I was already getting underpaid to start off with. These are the same managers who were sexually harassing and assaulting employees, I don't regret leaving.
You should have told him that as soon as he discovers the 5th law of physics / dynamics / energy / etc. he can give you a new document that you can add to your job description and follow to the letter ;)
Holy hell! Thats new level of stupidity.
I am low level
, engineer(not energy), that smoked a joint all the way of studing in second-tier college in poor country. But even i know the basics of the law of energy conservation - that she (energy) can not be gotten out of nowhere or something(same to power levels).
P.S. both funny and sad
Hahahaha
Being asked to inflate a red balloon, because it's red... is the most painfully accurate part of this video. This is how it always goes. Always.
I was once tasked with manually deploying test builds to a remote server in spite of me being a highly trained software engineer. The reason being that I "was the person most familiar with Linux". I won't say what my rate was but, suffice it to say, I genuinely felt bad for the poor clients who had to pay me for a full 16 hours of my time to do something I could have automated in about 5 minutes (I offered but they said, and I quote, "that would be a scope increase")
"You're a computer guy, right?"
"I'm a programmer, yes."
"Well, our servers are down, can you help?"
"That sounds like Tech Support might be better suited for it, but if they're not available I can give it a shot."
"Great! Now, the problem started when we had a power surge..."
So real to me. Because a word appears on my resume, I get calls for jobs that are loony-toon far from my skill set, because that word has some specific meaning over there in yon faraway technology land.
@@jy3n2 Hardware problems *shudder*
C'mon, man. Just be a team player, mate.
I like how nobody asks why 7 straight lines are even needed. As the finance guy in many of these meetings I’m always mystified that everybody assumes that everyone else knows the purpose for having 5 expensive people talk about nothing.
They have to justify their existence somehow, and their high wages. I have all these 'important' meetings I MUST attend or the company would just cease to function !!! Those red cats don't draw balloon shaped lines by themselves you know!
"I don't know anything about this, you're a specialist. Please tell me how it is done"
"It is done like this"
"I disagree"
Well put!
Oh, I worked for that person too!
Thank you. This is a concise CV of my 30+ career as a Senior Information Security Consultant and as a Partner at a security consultancy firm.
*_That Client: _* "I don't know anything about this, you're a specialist. We demanded an over-night flight for you to our international HQ here and are paying your company over $1K an hour for your expertise as our global enterprise is losing 'X million dollars an hour.'
"Meanwhile, our priceless reputation and branding for "reliability" is taking a beating at NASDAQ...if we don't stop the bleeding immediately we may never recover our market share.
"No one here has been able to solve this problem. You are a subject-matter expert in this obscure security technology.
"We are out of our depth. We throw ourselves on the tender mercies of your decades of experience in cybersecurity and reputation for rapid incidence response solutions with positive event outcomes.
"We put our corporate future in your capable hands. Please tell us what must be done."
*_My Immediate Debriefing Response:_* "Certainly. First, we---"
*_That Client:_* "Nope. Nopety, nope, no. I disagree. We all disagree!
"Do not attempt to explain any solutions. (Client pokes fingers in ears) Lalalalalalala...fix it, fix it -- Stop! don't touch anything...and, by all the gods, have you not fixed our global network failure / financial armageddon / hyper-emergency disaster yet?"
Hahaha kill me :)
ruclips.net/video/TYD27O5m5Yw/видео.html
"what's stopping us from doing this?"
"Geometry"
"Just ignore it!"
lmao yeah
There's a lot of theories that didn't pan out: Lone gunman... communism... geometry....
- Lobachevsky, 1830
"What's stopping you from getting the jab?"
"Science."
"Just ignore it."
Hey, that's how imaginary numbers were discovered.
For an engineer this feels more like a documentary than a scripted play.
When I was in consulting I would show this video to BOTH my team AND the customer team. Some customers didn't appreciate it, but they understood the message I was communicating to everyone on the project.
let me guess, the idiot customers who wanted the kitten did not appreciate it right?
I’ll bet the customers thought all the requirements were reasonable except maybe for the kitten.
@@aarons7975of course, dolphins sell better than kittens.
The thing that really amuses me here is that when you are an ‘expert’, and someone asks you a question and don’t get the answer they want, all of a sudden they know better... that is all too familiar.
Yeah like the experts on coronavirus from WHO...
@@odin1313 Oh, no! The are doing their job perfectly! Any scientist who wants to get paid knows to first ask the boss what they want the answer to be. Then conduct the research to prove the boss's point. Congratulations! You're a winner!
@@geraldfrost4710 I know right!
An expert has to dumb down their knowledge to fit the framework of idiots. If you can explain geometry to a 6 year old and the kid understood it then that expert is capable of working with idiots.
@@odin1313 The WHO actually said it's a stupid idea for everyone to go round wearing masks, but that never found its way to the news.
This is so close to reality it's giving me PTSD. Every last second is so true and the story of my life over and over again. The only thing missing is the meeting afterwards when "Anderson" gets pulled aside by his supervisor to tell him that his attitude was unprofessional and he really needs to start being a "team player" in future meetings.
Holly, I can relate. And also, I feel (and share) your pain.
same here :D it blows my mind how people from all around the world are suffering from the same stupidity...
Can totally relate. Been pulled aside after meetings to be told I need to stop with the negativity and be a better team player. Meanwhile if things go south I'll be told you are the expert, you should have been more convincing that it wouldn't work 😩
I've had managers who give short deadlines without knowing how long it will take to complete the project. These kinds are the worst.
This!!! I was actually trying to find this comment :) :) :) . If i had raised my voice in such a meeting, e longer meeting would had expected me shortly after!!!
Also, they didn't point out that the only way out for the expert at this point would be to get sick some days before the showdown at the client location, training obviously someone else in the meantime an telling their chiefs "don't worry, he can do it by himself" (then go to a church and at least pray for him)
I worked as an IT engineer for most of my life. I felt thrown back in time to countless meetings with sales and customers.... Wonderful move!!!
This piece is timeless, the actor who played the EXPERT deserves an Oscar!👌
Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
+ThitBoKho Haha - that is awesome. Although I typically find the PM's have some idea, they just ignore that it will fail so the can please the higher ups who really have no idea at all.
The project manager could just as well be in the position of the expert. Project managers per se are not ignorant, ignorant people exist in all fields and all different levels.
+senchaholic if only the problem was just ignorance! ;-)
+TBK no that;s the project managers boss,im a project manager and I'm pretty sure you've never been a project manager, the responsability goes up, not down.
+Carlos Riojas no need to be butt hurt. Not all PM are idiots and I guess you are one of them. But let me telll you a lot PM out there are like the dude in video. PM are in every field not just IT. I might be never be PM but I used to work for one.
As a software developer for over 10 years, I must say this piece is so deeply well composed and performed. Absolutely stunning.
Yes, but can you inflate a red balloon, and if yes, can you also do it in the form of a kitten?
Yes, me too I can relate... just stunning!
Any software dev can inflate a balloon in the form of a kitten.
Can u relate? Share a story
It's not a composed piece at all. It's a reality documentary of how the world works (or not)...
Omg the amount of rage this skit brought up in me is brutal lol!
This is what work has felt like for me for the last 15 years. I thought getting away from being a BSA would have made it all better, but I swear it just gets worse each year, no matter where I work.
C'mon, just be a team player, mate.
Don’t worry, the expert can do it. As far as I can tell, you draw two red lines perpendicular to each other on a 90 degree angle. You “draw” the green line perpendicular to those two going into the board (so it’s entirely hidden by the point of intersection of the two red lines).
The first red line can also be the kitten line, except the kitten shape goes out in the same direction as the green line, which makes it still appear as a line to a viewer. Similarly to how you could draw a kitten on a piece of paper, but if you look at it from the side of the paper it becomes a line.
Finally, you “draw” the last 4 lines in invisible ink perpendicular to the first 3 by extending them along the 4th-7th axes instead of the x, y, and z axes, which were used for the first 3 lines.
And then you look up balloon animal videos!
What hurt the most for me was the back and forth of "you're wrong" followed immediately with "you're the expert"
"You're the expert."
"Which is why I know this isn't possible."
"No, 'expert' means you should know how to do this! Honestly, how did you ever get hired?"
"...................kill me, please."
this always happens when your answers are not what they want to hear.
@@IceMetalPunk I wonder how long it would be until I'd burst out "I don't know, I should have known better." I'm frustrated with some aspects of my job, but at least I don't have to deal with that kind of stuff.
Oh my. It’s so accurate. The horrors.
"You're wrong"
"Are you the expert?"
"No, you are"
"Then shut the fuck up and let me do my work."
This is fairly accurate to how these types of meetings go. You have one expert in the room, severely underpaid and underappreciated, trying to explain basic concepts to a bunch of overpaid businessmen and successful gamblers
I really like the term 'succesful gamblers'
This is why job hopping is the way to go for experts
Yep Yep its been the dynamic in all three fields:
● AV Creative Routing with Donated Equipment or DIY OR we want to reach high A with low C
● Shiny-Toy Dashboard idea needing multiple feeds that is $20K most likely needing input from multiple stakeholders
● Protect the Crown Jewls with Rework/Refurbished Equipment cuz c-levels want to get a drink steamer and fund MnG vacations
Though I'm glad to serve non-profits with creative fiscal solutions.
Probs they are not the experts then?)) ruclips.net/video/B7MIJP90biM/видео.html
Bro, it's gen z in the work industry!
As a professional, saying yes to a silly request is one of the survival skill in the corporate world
Nearly a decade after seeing this when it first came out, this is still incredibly accurate for software engineers🤣
once i got a call from a client, that he wants to have the banner on his site exchanged. i did it and told him it's done. 10 minutes later he called again and screamed at me because i lied to him - there is still the same old banner online! Turned out he didnt refresh his browser.
Even worse. i told him to press F5 to refresh the browser, because he didn't know how to do it. Then screaming at me again, because it didn't work and i was still lying to him. After some back and forth i heared through the phone a 'click click' on the keyboard. He first hit the 'F' key and afterwards '5'.
That guy was my personal doomsday.
another challanged customer wanted to have an A-B mailing. So i asked for the list of recipients. She send me one unordered list of just mailadresses and sayed "just 50/50".
I tried to explain, that she does not get any information if she does not track who was in A and who in B. She didnt want to listen and started yelling at me. So i stopped caring and just sent those freaking mails out. She never asked for any analysis. I think she had no idea what the idea behind A-B mailings are - but her boss told her to do one and this was the result.
Actually i feel a bit sorry for her. It must be a bad pressure if you figure out you are not the right person for a specific job.
What percentage of clients scream at you? Unless my family were actually starving, I can't see myself not hanging up in that situation.
F5? Nah! You should told him that he needs to reboot his PC.
I'm frustrated just reading this
Did he try turning it off and on again?
The striking part of it is that everyone in the table seems normal, as if it wasn't ridiculouis their request, and you're the one only sitting there that it's not "normal". Great example of corporate life.
or the real life
Especially during times right now..
One of the aspects I found most realistic is the condescending and manipulative tone of the (sales VP?) farthest from the camera. "Surely as an `expert` you can figure this out." More than once I wanted to respond, surely as a sales 'expert', you can figure out how to multiply our revenues 100-fold by the end the year, or are you telling us you're a failure? You haven't even tried and you're already saying it can't be done. Let's just set the sales budget there. Surely we don't have to debate this here right now.
That's sadly true
i call that gaslighting :) - if you try to explain the complexity they will say you need to work on your communication skill as 'if u understand it you should be able to explain it simply.' - well i dont want to oversimplify a complicated solution that based on real life application either -> that can cause wrong impression on the short schedule. Even when I try to use simpler explanation, without foundation knowledge of the technology from management and their refusal to admit they dont understand, the effort is futile. Then people told me i'm not the strategic thinker and too negative :)
Years ago, it made me laugh. Now it lives rent free in my head and pops out in most business meetings I've ever attended to.
“Winning an argument with someone smart is hard, but with someone dumb is impossible”
"we need someone with 10 years of experience in a programming language that has been around for 4."
This has happened before.
I don't see the problem... Just time travel :v
the other 6 years are just transparent don't worry about it
Starter... is that FOR REAL?
Some jobs need a car. Others, a time machine.
My father told me a similar story of maddening stupidity. In the 80s, my dad worked for a company that did pre and post production art for film and television (marketing and research). One day, he and his co-workers were asked by their boss to obtain some reference photos of Pterodactyls for a Dinosaur themed project in early development. So my dad and colleagues spent quite a while going through archives, libraries, and museum sources, finding some nice artist renditions of Pterodactyls. So he and his colleagues report back to the boss with their findings. The boss is absolutely livid. He effectively says " These are NOT PHOTOGRAPHS! I said I wanted a PHOTOGRAPH of a Pterodactyl!!". My dad and his colleagues, dumbfounded, had to spend quite a bit of time explaining to this boss that such a request was impossible, as Pterodactyls have been extinct for 65 Million years, and there was no photography that far back.
Whoa, that's rough XD
A photograph of the dummy pterodactyl from the museum would fit
How is that guy that guy the boss? State of the World
I'd tell my boss, he is fired, if he was that stupid.
@@sliiiin And you get a raise!
My friend has sent me this because this is exactly what I'm dealing with lately and it is painfully accurate. Throw in the mix a little of "I want x" and when it is designed, approved by the client himself, implemented and released to the test environment we get hit by a "This is not what I want, I never said I wanted x". Even when there are recordings of him saying "I want x". Gosh I miss our old clients who were chill and clear. They either knew what they wanted or not and then listened to us when we explained what they want is impossible. And then we could work together to have a solution which is possible and fullfills their needs.
Everything needs to be asked in writing. Always.
"It won't solve the the problem"
"How do you know before you've tried?". So damn relatable 😂😂😂😂
SO TRUE. Welcome to corporate life. Where nothing is fair, logical or rational. The actors were absolutely great
true.
very true buddy
Gabiche and still true
Gabiche "nothing"
Company doing great? Great! Bonus for CEOs!
Company going downhill? Great! Bonus for CEOs!
As an engineer for 10yrs, this is why I became a project manager. If you can't beat them, join them.
how does being a project manager compare?
Great, so now you have the shit coming from above _and_ below.
We Invade the from the inside!
My sister did the same and all the software guys love her because she's actually become an expert in explaining to the non experts at "big meeting" why things wont work as they think they will. 🤣
i wouldnt be bragging about that.
I’m a PhD in physics and I work in a corporate. This is real. I feel sad for myself everyday.
I'd also feel sad if I was a PhD in physics :(
There might be a better workplace out there for you. My dad was an electrical engineer and he was really happy with how his company treated him. Not every place is bad though I'm sure a lot are.
"Could you describe what you imagine the end result would look like?" Oh man, that gave me serious flashbacks, that's the go to line when I just can't explain it in any other way. It does help sometimes
I love how the boss at the end says “well this was very productive” when nothing actually got solved. Seen that so many times!
me I love how they portray so well meetings of an excessive number of useless people around the table with always something unproductive to say
This is like Congress men saying when he is out from his meetings ...haaaa
I love how halfway through he just stopped paying attention, then when he got bored of sitting there was like “where are we at? Okay, great, this has been very productive.” And then just ended the meeting and walked out.
SO spot on.
If I was the expert I'd probably be like....wtf am I supposed to do now?
I hate when this happens because you just KNOW you're the only one who can salvage the situation
My dad was a public school teacher for 38 years. He told me this story once about a meeting his department had with a group of "educator coaches", whose big talking point was making the grades of all students above-average. Not the national or state average, the school average. They spent the entire meeting desperately trying to convince them that it was literally impossible for ALL of the students to be above the average, and their response? "We don't care, we know you can do it."
i hope, you are kidding? O_o
@@Darthpixi I wish.
I think they meant the current average. The average would go higher
What was stopping him?
Mathematics
"just ignore it"
@@Darthpixi sadly I don't think they are. The UK's education minister has been talking about making all kids above average for a few years now. That's the person in charge of education for my country. We're doomed.
This is relatable in every field. Group A goes over to group B and demands impossible shit out of group B. All the while talking down and acting like they know more than group B purely because they are making the requests. I'm a machinist and had to deal with fresh out of school engineering students who did not understand initial stock size, material waste, and machinability of a design.
"The task has been set; the task is *plain* and *clear."*
What exactly stop us from doing this?
- Geometry.
- Just ignore it. 😂😃😂😂
Poor fucker ended up jumping out the window after meeting 🤣
This needs to be on a shirt!
Try Non-Euclidean geometry :D
German "Energiewende": We *just* need to implement an energy storage system which provides approx. 80 Gigawatt for 20 days. So there's no reason not to shut down the nuclear power plants and the coal power plants at the same time ... Discussions with Green Politicians run exactly like your educational video 😫
Exactly! And the red balloon was so suggestive of the obvious "triangle with 3 right angles". It is even enshrined in a grammar school joke (that ends with "What color was the bear?")
My heart goes out to all the Andersons of the world. Because of your sacrifice, we get to live comfortable lives.
Thank you.
you have no idea how much your comment means to me.
Josip Hadžiegrić was going to say that. My friends a programmer and I'm the engineer for our robotics team. He and I struggle with this, him more so
this is underrated comment, or should I say this is expert comment)
You're welcome, bruh!
Glad to be here for you ;)
This never gets old. Ever.
I really wish they bring back this series - I've seen the others too and it's so good and right on the money. I'd love to see more!
"Whats stopping us from doing this?"
"-Geometry"
"Just ignore it!"
xD
I just fell down from this moment... xD
When he said "Geometry..." I died.
Yeah, I thought about hinges that when moved orient the parallel lines to perpendicular and vice versa(obviously you get to three lines in 3-d) So if it kept moving they'd sometimes be perpendicular to all the others. I thought of 'magician' stuff of orienting the lines in non euclidean geometry such that from the perspective of the viewer they were perpendicular. This video was fun after all...
Lovecraft would be proud. Or should that be Cthulhu?
H
The 6k who disliked are the corporate bosses who demanded these kinds of tasks.
Seriously, I do wonder -- and worry about -- the people who downvoted this.
Or designers :)
Kitten! Not task just a kitten
@@kennethsizer6217 me too
Yeaah!!!
The clueless designer is perfectly spot on. Especially among the "my niece came up with a design" category.
I come back to this video every few months ... cause I'm an expert.
I am a developer. I watched this a few years ago and found it hilarious. After a couple years of new management I watched this again and it hurts how spot-on this is.
Can understand your pain. Fellow developer here.
Also a dev. Couldn't tell if I was watching a video or looking into a mirror at times.
Also a dev. I've been on teams where management is just like this. But more often, my teams have been fine, and the clients have been like this instead. "We want this one permission to be controlled by three settings in three different components, but synchronized across them all." "Why not just control it all by one setting?" "No, no, it must be in three places." "So they're different controls?" "No, they must all be synchronized." "..........yes, ma'am, it's your product, your specs, I'm the expert, I'll have that for you by tomorrow. *Headdesk* "
I'm almost finishing my develop basic studies, and I'm afraid looking at this tbh...
Same here.
I'm an economist, and this is exactly how some meetings go. They also think I can see into the future, do calculations without numbers, and pull a unicorn out of my hat.
... Can you pull a unicorn out of your hat? Asking for a friend who is me.
You are some lucky sumbiches, where I work, unicorns are pulled out of ass
Bonus points if you don’t wear hats
@@seabassjames8222 are you kidding? That's what the economists are for!
That's Amazing!
30 years as a software engineer. Nothing has changed.
This is the type of video that will still be relevant even a century from now.
I literally just had a meeting like this TODAY, me and a CAD guy struggled to explain that 2D line drawings of a product can not be rotated for a 3D view to the general manager of the company.
I swear these people, these meetings, they exist, they happen, they STILL happen, and this video should be mandatory viewing for everyone everywhere in the entire world.
Wireframes my dude
My condolences. Rip your life
But they can be rotated on the table!
You should have printed it on a transparent sheet of cellophane and rotated it around their heads
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Because they didn't want to budget for 3D CAD!!!!
I gave this briefing once in the Air Force. "What are these anomalous bursts on the RF receivers?" "It's lightning." "Why is there lightning, why do we want that?" "We don't" "Then get it off." "It's not that easy. lightning broadcasts in many frequencies simultaneously." "Why would someone design a receiver to pick up lightning?" "It's not designed to pick up lightning." "You said it picked up lightning." "Imagine you are in your car. You are listening to music. Lightning occurs and you hear a burst of static. Pause. "And?" "The same thing happens on our RF receivers." "Why are we talking about car radios?" This guy pops up in the news from time to time as a policy expert.
That's when you tell him the lightning helps scramble the signal so the enemy doesn't intercept the transmission. Tell him it's cutting edge technology and then let him go brief the other people who would ask the same stupid questions.
@@rickjames8960 big brain plays
Wtf
@@rickjames8960 The trouble is there are too many idiots. Good luck after that to explain how stupid what he says is T_T.
Can you give only his initials of your "policy expert", please please!!!!
I come back to this every couple years or so, I've been on both sides of this, it haunts me, this should be required viewing for all of humanity
It’s been interesting to come back to this video throughout the years. First watched as a junior engineer and now have spent time on either side of the table. Perspective!
"What's stopping us from doing this?"
"....geometry."
"Just ignore it!"
My life as an engineer.
"Ignore geometry? Okay." He then proceeded to draw seven lines in the colloquial sense, none of which were perpendicular to any of the others. One of them was in the shape of a kitten.
The next day: "So, about that triangular balloon with the wheels we discussed yesterday..."
"Just wanted to remind you that three of the wheels need to be round, and the fourth one needs to be a triangle made of lead and covered in glue and tacks."
This comment is underrated.
@@IceMetalPunk 😆 Pure gold!
@@africlubguy6035 pure lead*
9 years as a software engineer makes this video hit different
same
"that's the problem! You drew it with blue lines!" i physically recoiled and threw my phone
Nothing is impossible for someone who doesn't have to do it.
Yup, just like the movie or tv series trophe concerning deadlines.
The boss: how long can it be done?
The expert: Three weeks sir.
The Boss: You have 2 Weeks.
I think a lot of real life tech bosses does the same to their staff.
@@nodinitiative I've always hated that trope. I've convinced that a lot of people think that's great management, when in reality all they're doing is demoralizing their staff.
@@nodinitiative
Yes, very definitely. It's even more annoying when buffer gets taken out or filled with new tasks.
Then we increase the amount of beta testers to speed everything up, after burning through our man-hour cushion.
No, boss, that's not quite how testing works. Nine pregnant women won't give you a baby in a month.
EDIT: Imagine a Cook with ninety minutes to prepare a eighty minute meal. Then he must pick up someone else's slack. He now has ten minutes left. It'll take thirty minutes at 250°. So the boss demands ten minutes at 750°.
Oh that's just the truth. Great statement
You nailed it. I'm going to quote you on this
Best line:
"Could you describe what your imagine the end result would look like?"
Dude was prob there long enough to start receiving mail at that address.
Yeah this is similar to web development
I want a site! Can you build me one?
"Of course. Do you have any mockups or idea of how you want the site to look?"
We want to sell products on the site
"Okay. Here are some examples of similar sites. Which designs to you like the best?"
Not really what we are looking for. This is an app?
"What?"
The site needs to be an app
"You want an app that they have to install and view the products not a website?"
Yes an app site
"Where is the nearest window?"
ummm right over there?
"Thanks. Bye."
@@johnturn3383 "app site" Either they're old farts or young Apple users.
@@sublime_tv They wanted a responsive mobile friendly site. They were older but honestly people are just stupid. A lot don't actually listen to questions.
@@johnturn3383 And they don't really know what they want.
4:42 "So what exactly is stoping us from doing this?"
".... Geometry!"
"Just ignore it!"
😂
I cannot explain how many meetings I've had that go exactly like this, almost down to the literal questions being asked here. It's incredible how accurate this is, especially at the end when he just accepts his fate and smiles and nods.
"What's stopping us?"
"...Geometry."
"Just ignore it :)"
+Lander McGinn best line
+Lander McGinn That had me rolling the first time I watched it. I always have to draw out analogies for business to understand. Lots of pictures and explaining it to them like they are buying a dress.
ruclips.net/video/nfZ12UGiisM/видео.html
I work in communications and marketing, and this is almost literally the way projects unfold. Except that Addison, the expert in drawing red lines, would not be invited to the meeting, and the project manager, Walter, would communicate with Anderson on individual tasks that Walter likely never articulates. Anderson would turn in each iteration for review, only to be critiqued by telephone game through Walter, as Anderson slowly discovers the who/what/when/where/why of the project over each compounding iteration. If Anderson tries to ask any of the information up front to reduce this foggy, iterative rework, he will reprimanded for having a bad attitude. He will also be scapegoated for any missed deadlines of the project. Everyone else will be promoted, and new shiny Project Managers will come in and repeat this process. The designer would also be treated like Anderson, and cut out of the meetings.
This
Yeah.
Well said!
After 14 years in marketing, this just brought tears to my eyes!
Sadly despite the sheer idiocy of this, no one sees a problem. Guess filling all the big money manager positions with morons totally pays off amiright
- So what exactly is stopping us from doing this?
- Geometry
- Just ignore it!
I have watched this video over and over in the last 6 years and it never loses its shine.
Please, fix title - it is not sketch, it is documentary
I think what u wanted to say was a analogical depiction or a relatable examaple, a documentary is based on interviews of people who are actually a part of the topic of the subject in the documentary and are not paid actors, also a documentary involves factual data which could be used to enhance ur historical knowledge or awareness in general, however 'sketch' is not wrong.
If u think character sketch means to sketch the character.....then in that case.........
u r just a nut case......
@@pitbull-wi2uw do you know word "sarcasm"?
Indeed! At times it reminds me of various meetings I've have in the workplace!!!
Damn right!
@@DKannji I would laugh in response to your comment but regrettably my expertise lies in serious discussions.
this sums up my job 95% of the time. this is not comedy, this is real life for me. I don't know whether to laugh or cry to this.
True, true. When I saw it for the first time I laughed almost to death ... ;)
When your boss asks you to draw 7 dimensional green lines in 3d space with transparent ink
This is like getting the requirements from the user when you want to build a banking application
I am a PhD student...i totally know what you mean!
Where do you work!
This never gets any less funny and accurate 😂
Oh god. I JUST had another one of these meetings 2 days ago. They wanted to divide 400 entities into 256 groups, but they did not want any one one group to have less than 15 entities. The meeting concluded with them asking me to run the 2 hours of coding anyways just to demo why it won't work. And I am their bloody director.
I'm confused. You said "bloody director" suggesting you're British, but their poor understanding of mathematics suggests you're working for Americans.
What you have described can be done, what can't be done is reusing the entities across groups. Perhaps the problem was not stated clearly with all the restrictions and rules to be well understood by all.
If (at least some) entities can be used for more then one group, it's mathematically possible.
@@Kandyman736 That’s not mutually exclusive lol
Well maybe the same company can be in multiple groups then it's possible
The confident stupidity of the characters is spot on.
I mean like they said...they weren't asking for 20 lines
As a software developer I feel the same as a poor expert here, but as a physicist I know that the problem can be solved in 7-dimension space :))))
How do you solve the color issue?
@@BlunderMunchkin Well, everything emits infrared...
There will never be a more accurate sketch. Everything is on point, absolutely everything!
i am a developer and this sketch triggers me
woosah.. woosah..
The next time it triggers you, could it be in the shape of a kitten?
Yeah man.... so close to home.
What about a bird?
We just need you to filter out any images with leather fabric in them. Instagram does image detection, so it can't be that hard
So what exactly is stopping us from doing this?
Geometry.
Just ignore it.
He should've tried the laws of mathematics or the laws of physics.
@@RaawHax Yes!
started reading this comment at the exact time they started saying it.
@@noskillzdad5504 that's what's up
Are you watching it on SoundCloud?
Just came across this again, and still love it!
Ohh I am in an awful pain, this bring back some memories.
In France, we have a joke : "it's the rowing world cup, each contry have a team with 8 rowers and one coxswain, except the french team who have 8 coxswain and one rower. At the end of the competition, the french team has an emergency meeting to figure out why they loose, and they decide by vote to fire the rower". (sorry for the aproximative english, i'm french :))
Your English is better than most natives. Old tale but still funny.
There's a similar joke in Britain about NHS workers and managers. Business incompetence really transcends borders :D
@@Septimus_ii nhs workers and managers. Tell the joke.
Merci
Can you write that in your original French? I’m working on my French.
It is painful how accurate this is, they talk the exact same way, they are dressed the exact same way, the whole conversation doesn't even differ much from the actual, everything is exactly as I have experienced.
yup, been there myself almost a decade. Thank god i manage to pull myself out and build my own small business, and could'n be happier.
As an "expert" I always shudder at how incredibly spot on this is.
I am an engineer and yes I have encountered these frightening situations during which I think: "who the hell employed you, and who employed them"? and so on. It goes to the very top.