Can you do a video when your professional reputation is ruined by gossip and how to rebuild? What do you do? Its prevented me from promoting and moving up because people believe the lies and gossip.
I've been being bullied at work for a year now. And been trying to stay calm even they're talking about me in front of me and want me to get mad and react the way they want me to. But I just keep telling to myself that they are what they are and I have to accept that toxic people are all over the place but I just have to do what I have to do at work and ignore those gossip because it doesn't define who I am. Thay are just noise that tries to put me down. And I'm not gonna let them win. I hate talking about other people's mistakes and I hate it when they talk about other people negatively. Get a life!
I've found it's not healthy to tolerate bullying for long - let them know it's a problem (simple is better - "I don't like that") and see if there are opportunities to not work with the toxic said individual as much or switch jobs if that's reasonable. There will always be some wisecrack back but deep down, the truth will get across to them- it's a problem, it's less comfortable to continue this behavior, it's a growing problem, maybe this person is not who I originally made them out to be, maybe I won't be able to mess with them. Life is short, healthy stress involves growth. Bullying is like insecurities of the bully psychologically exploiting insecurities in the victim - both resolvable insecurities with additional self work. Bullies have a deep neglect of their self - anyone at peace within doesn't bully. David Goggins has some pretty awesome advice for handling these haters with things like "taking souls" really uping our own game in these situations - leaning the psychology back on them, make them feel confused and trying to figure you out instead. Become less predictable and more bulletproof stoic and determined. Make them think so much there's no sex that night. A lot of it is inner self-respect and bulletproofing further and further, affirmations and focused tactful words that continue strong in your efforts, regardless of their attempts to break you down. Haters will exist and often hate some aspects about themselves with a rather codependency of needing to lower others to their low level rather than bettering themselves - they're low level thinking and energy. It's easier with kids but with adults there's often more shame of the age perhaps and more years on the insecurities at that, but the self work is always available like journaling and a lot more fitness and more deeper expression with level headed people.
I experienced the same with you for nearly one and half year. You can not endure it for long time and it will damage your mental health. I did the followings. 1, document it. 2, need report it. 3, Also meed build a group of advocate to support you because this group of low value junkie, they will never give up.
@@cynthiakk5966 I changed work. And it feels so good lol it's a breath of fresh air. ❤️ And it's crazy coz she's inting me to attend party at my previous work etc. told it to my supervisor and he said "what?" That's soooo weird. After all? And she even gave me gifts before I left work. Anyway, how are you doing now? I hope you're doing fine. Sometimes, if we can't handle that kind situation, we just have to get away from them. It's hard to ignore if they keep pushing you to your limit.
Best approach is to be understanding and have a calm and happy attitude. I've learned from past mistakes its not good to emotionally react, point the finger or bring yourself low to someone else. Instead be calm and show the person/team what you value and represent when it comes to conflict. That is calm and collected. This approach really does work!
Hard to do when you always seem to ATTRACT toxic coworkers because you are "different " and people get irritated with you. I have to be on my guard ALL. THE. TIME! I attract haters for no good reason and I'm pleasant to people and don't step on any toes, yet I'm made fun of and called spacey. I'm just myself and try to be pleasant with others and have a great attitude, yet I get back handed insults or compliments. Am I just unlucky?
If the other party is rude, bossy, infamous for giving attitude to others, and aware of her key-position proceeding to give a hard time to everyone, and loves to power-play. Do you have any extra tips on how to stay calm and collected when dealing with such a person? Thank you so much.
So much of the self-help sphere seems to be geared towards the "normals"--basically well adjusted people coming up against typical life problems. The techniques advised only work when you're dealing with other reasonable or "normal" people. Many of us have to contend with co-workers with personality disorders and other severe toxic behaviours. The only "real" advice I've come across is to get away from the situation as soon as possible.
@@helentart1980 I am sorry to hear that. I have trouble holding back the tears. I have a few conversations coming that are going to be challenging. All the best.
Hi Jennifer, thank you for your content. Unfortunately, I have a coworker that talks way too much and crosses my boundaries when getting angry, by using a very disrespectful tone which implies that I am supposed to be intimidated by it. I told this co-worker that if it happens the fourth time, it will not just be a conversation between the two of us. Well, it did happen a fourth time, and the manager simply dismissed it as too much caffeine and stress. Basically, is the first time I came to him with such a complaint, so he treated it like it was nothing. My question is where do I go from here because I certainly do not want this co-worker to ever feel comfortable enough to do it again. Unfortunately, this is not a great time to look for other employment options. If you can share any advice, I will truly appreciate it.
This can be a golden opportunity to test whether you are working in a toxic environment or just dealing with a difficult co-worker. If one gives you the wrong advice to make you work less effectively, test what they said with a colleague you know they get on well with. A mature co-worker will know what this person is like even if they like them for other reasons and will simply give you a different approach without pointing a finger at the toxic person. But if that difficult colleague overhears they will be stung by what happened and realise they can't get away with much. If you find that all the toxic person does and says is backed up by colleagues in a supportive way to mob you into being wrong, then you know that it is a toxic workplace with a bad culture. In which case, you have few options open to you but to leave. Just do so gracefully. There is nothing at all to be gained by working in such an environment and if a good boss is really any good they won't tolerate this sort of thing and will know full well who the difficult ones are. You also need to know that they might have made a concerted decision to keep them becausee they add value, can't be fired and do a good job in other ways. In other ways losing them would cost more than putting up with them. This is especially true if you are new and they are not. Bosses tend to side with those that are harder to get rid of. That is the truth. For all other behaviours. Just grin and bear it and ignore them. So running to the boss is not the answer. It makes you look bad and immature. If you are dealing with unlawful harassment or bullying make a diary and present it formally to HR. But it is about hurt feelings and pride, running to the boss is definitely not the way to go. The last thing a busy, pressurised boss needs is a 'child' for a team member. They don't want to be mummy or daddy too. The only time they'll be interested is if you are prepared to leave and they don't want to lose you but they will still way up who is teh most valuable member and the most difficult to get rid of.
The first response is definitely to confront - discreetly, privately and immediately. I guess that's Fight > Flight. Ultimately if they are obstinate or just not interested I resolve to working around them and being transparent about it w/ everyone who needs to know.
I like most of your videos, but if you are respectful and they are crossing boundaries and being disrespectful, saying nothing tells them it's ok to treat you this way. People treat you the way you allow.
If I were an employer, I wouldn't put up with disgruntled employees. It's better to have outgoing, energetic and positive employees. If you have problems outside of work, that's your problem and it's no reason to bring it to work and starts conflicts with your coworkers. This turns the workplace into a toxic workplace.
Everyone has a bad day, I don't think we can totally keep our world separate, but I think you got the nail on the head with what's allowed to grow. Especially when there is one person consistently creating conflict in a negative way. When is allowed, toxicity flourishes.
@@JenniferBrick the person could've also had a fight with their girlfriend/boyfriend and couldn't put aside their emotions while at work which makes it unfair and inconsiderate for everyone else. A guy got dumped by his girlfriend and couldn't keep it together at work and starting crying. The manager sent him home with his full pay for the day.
@@JenniferBrick it makes no different to coaching some minor pro hockey team down south. If my players were paying more attention to the girls in the stands, rather than focusing on the game, I'd be pretty livid.
All you can do is approach them with the best of intentions. If they can't receive it, do your best to have empathy (bad behavior comes from a place of self-loathing and unhappiness), and do your best to let it go. Honestly, some people just love drama and this behavior can be part of that; when you won't play along they get bored and move along most of the time.
@@JenniferBrick I had to leave my job bc it was so bad. Sometimes you can’t fix it and you just have to leave bc management does not care and they act like you’re the one with the issue bc you can’t tolerate people mistreating you.
Thank you Jennifer,now i am feeling little lot confident on how to deal with them. also been wacthing your other vidoes and again thank you Jennifer for making my day brighter.
Hi Jennifer I was searching to resolve things after argument with my colleagues and I found your video I watched it and it's good I'll implement this thank you so much for making it I hope you ll make more videos
My autistic self cringed at most of this. Facial expressions, tone, and body language are something we struggle with as a whole; we'll be too busy trying to make sure we look as neurotypical as possible to be able to listen. And if we don't do these things, if the other person doesn't understand autism, we're the jerk for not setting the proper tone. There is no one way to communicate; this would not work for me at all.
Yess! Thanks for walking us through the science of it. And yes number 3 was 😍! Getting on the same side is such a key foundation to start it off right!
My coworker doesn't care how I feel she has set traps for me by making allies with new coworkers to disrespect me so when I talk they can use my words against me and also report me to my supervisor and just last week I was insulted by her and I really feel bullied and don't have any support in the work place, I know you're trying to help but do you think reporting her to a higher authority other than my supervisor is the best option
@Janet, if you're still in that workplace (? Doubtful!) I suggest you prepare a formal complaint against the person(s) who have bullied or harassed you. Otherwise we let them get away with it. Company law is (SHOULD BE) on your side. Best wishes
I work with a toxic bunch of co-workers, and they look for fault and then try to show me up in MS Teams chat in front of all. When I reply to them ,"What do you mean?", they go running to the Team Leader claiming that I 'shut them down", LOL!! I then get confronted by my Team Leader, snd so I tell my Team Leader that they are nit-picking and that its not my fault that its a toxic environment. The Team Leader doesn't like the truth being pointed out. Before, she was a Team Leader, she was a toxic colleague ...
I tend to be assertive if I feel that someone is doing something that is directly effecting my work. I will bring it to the forefront in a group setting. Sometimes I wonder if I may be a bit critical but it’s like they dance around the topics and don’t actually document processes that effect my work and also don’t want anyone involved. It’s a bit redundant, confusing and concerning. They lean on oh we’re a new company or a start up or we’re trying etc. only been with the company 2 months and I’m getting aggravated.
Not really conflicts but it can be really stressful when someone has an issue with the duties you do. Now that I'm getting a FT position I'm happy but nervous... I wish people could just let me focus on my work so I can be able to move to next step. The Positions others have, I wasn't able to apply because I wasn't actually do that job. It's can be hard sometimes when people make you feel like you don't do enough. Do have a second job and it does not interfere with my duties.. It's stressful not know where you stand as far as trying to grow in the area you were put in...
Hi Jennifer, I have just subscribed to your channel because you are the first person who talks about work situation and what you said is quite accurate. I wonder if you can give us the tips to deal with people who instead of taking accountability for their work, they shift the blame to others as if it isn’t their fault. Unfortunately, I often see this behaviour mostly from the higher up Managers (can be your direct boss or can be in another department). As they are higher up, they have more power to use others as their scape goat. How do we deal with them. Appreciate your thought and tips in your next video.
In regards to the last tip: Done means done. True! But... This does not mean you have to forget what has happened. You just have to fogive and move past it!
Wherever I work, people often ask this dumb and stupid question: "Where are you from?" It really annoys me...I give different answers, depending on my mood and the person's attitude. If I sense something negative in it, I answer by stating where I live now. If it's coming from a friendly person, I answer it by stating where my family live. But if it's coming from a total stranger, I just ignore it and change the topic. I'm thinking that I should start saying something like: " I'm not comfortable talking about my private details" or "Sorry, but it's a private question". If there's a negative follow up, I can always justify it by saying: "I don't ask you private questions about where you were born, do I?" Anybody to suggest anything to me, please comment.
Just tell the person where you are from. Who knows, you might have something in common with them. So what if you tell someone you were born in Mexico and now live in Ohio. If you look Mexican, you can say you live in Ohio all you want, you will still look Hispanic. You don't need to give them your home address, of course. I think people are too stuck up these days and want to be left alone, but that's how people became life long friends before social media came along and f****d everything up. So, don't be that rude chick who thinks everyone is out to get you.
@@willkeyes8859 I don't think I'm rude at all or stuck up. I think I'm a private person, who likes to keep things about myself private. I think before asking a total stranger this dumb question you need to show them that you are friendly and mean well. I don't have a problem sharing about my heritage with people I know. It's obvious that someone is on their guard when a stranger asks them personal questions!
If you went to your boss first, should you leave it to them. I told my boss what happened, happened twice. My boss replied through text " no worries and keep up good work". So it's in his hands now right? Should I just let it play out and not say anything to my coworker? Because if it happens again I'm telling my boss I've said nothing to that person, only reported it. Any thoughts?
the bonus tip felt like a personal attack. help me get my terrible coworkers fired Jennifer. I want super villian revenge advice not emotional intelligence.
This coworker is very rude with how she speaks to me. Its always around my work and it's minor things. She's not like this with anyone else in the department though. How do I get her to know that i really dont like how she speaks to me without making it super confrontational? When she talks to me like this, i freeze or try to stay calm but in my mind I'm like WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOU???? If i can somehow get her to respect me and not talk down to me, that would be cool. I honestly dont even care she doesnt like me..that happens. But be respectful at least.
And what do you do when its abundantly clear that the person who is making your life hell at work literally only works with you whenever its only the two of us, which means she can do or say anything she wants and have absolutely no consequence. I feel like I'm the only one of us with any sort of morality or consideration of others, which puts me in a losing position because my morals keep me from being awful, but she does not seem burdened by that. They clearly do not care about doing the right thing or being professional. What happens when you can't get on the same side of the table because she has absolutely no stock in the table at all?
These are great tips! I struggle with effective communication skills to deal with these situations, like what words do I use?? Check out Dan O'Connor on RUclips. He gives you exact words to use -- power and danger phrases -- that get your point across.
Another thing I witness. When you boss didn’t do their job well, not only they find the scape goats they can go to the next step to take disciplinary action against their staff who may incident contribute to their incompetence or accidentally expose their incompetence. The staff had to leave at the end when it is not his fault. Is it the right thing the staff did? What is your opinion?
i can barely hear you. mic issues. civilized people are good at starting a friendly productive conversation. making peace is easy in this case. good advice but appeal to nobility only works sometimes. if someone goes to work every day with the resolve to make you miserable, this is a lack of nobility. someone who considers that an option should %100 be flagged and exposed to current employer, coworkers, and prospective employers. once harassers learn their employability is affected the total effect is to keep the behavior in check and to force them to improve. sometimes you need the threat of punishment; sometimes you need actual punishment and _inflicted cost_ but this vid is more about mundane stuff : P
How about this......take your co coworker out to the parking lot and rough em up a bit. Just like the good ole days, we come back to work and everything is fine : ) I wish I could do this to a few of my female co workers!! they are fucking crazy as shit, makes me feel good to be single....oh yess.....dodged a bullet like the matrix!!!!
You pronounce your “a”s in a few words incorrectly. Also the “e” Is used wrongly as well. For example, you pronounced the word “mindset” as “mindsat”. It makes me want to jump off of a bridge 😫.
The one part this video fails to highlight is that sometimes the other person has malicious intent and none of your tips will work in that case. If it gets too much for your mental, emotional and physical well being, walk away and find a on that is fulfilling and does not drain you.
Did tip three blow your mind?
☺️
Yes 🤯🤯🤯
ohh yes!
Can you do a video when your professional reputation is ruined by gossip and how to rebuild? What do you do? Its prevented me from promoting and moving up because people believe the lies and gossip.
@@Marty1776.Same here. I would like to know how to..
I've been being bullied at work for a year now. And been trying to stay calm even they're talking about me in front of me and want me to get mad and react the way they want me to. But I just keep telling to myself that they are what they are and I have to accept that toxic people are all over the place but I just have to do what I have to do at work and ignore those gossip because it doesn't define who I am. Thay are just noise that tries to put me down. And I'm not gonna let them win. I hate talking about other people's mistakes and I hate it when they talk about other people negatively. Get a life!
I've found it's not healthy to tolerate bullying for long - let them know it's a problem (simple is better - "I don't like that") and see if there are opportunities to not work with the toxic said individual as much or switch jobs if that's reasonable. There will always be some wisecrack back but deep down, the truth will get across to them- it's a problem, it's less comfortable to continue this behavior, it's a growing problem, maybe this person is not who I originally made them out to be, maybe I won't be able to mess with them. Life is short, healthy stress involves growth. Bullying is like insecurities of the bully psychologically exploiting insecurities in the victim - both resolvable insecurities with additional self work. Bullies have a deep neglect of their self - anyone at peace within doesn't bully. David Goggins has some pretty awesome advice for handling these haters with things like "taking souls" really uping our own game in these situations - leaning the psychology back on them, make them feel confused and trying to figure you out instead. Become less predictable and more bulletproof stoic and determined. Make them think so much there's no sex that night. A lot of it is inner self-respect and bulletproofing further and further, affirmations and focused tactful words that continue strong in your efforts, regardless of their attempts to break you down. Haters will exist and often hate some aspects about themselves with a rather codependency of needing to lower others to their low level rather than bettering themselves - they're low level thinking and energy. It's easier with kids but with adults there's often more shame of the age perhaps and more years on the insecurities at that, but the self work is always available like journaling and a lot more fitness and more deeper expression with level headed people.
@bobbray thank you for your advice. Appreciate it.
Good luck with what you are going through! I hope it got better...
I experienced the same with you for nearly one and half year. You can not endure it for long time and it will damage your mental health. I did the followings.
1, document it.
2, need report it.
3, Also meed build a group of advocate to support you because this group of low value junkie, they will never give up.
@@cynthiakk5966 I changed work. And it feels so good lol it's a breath of fresh air. ❤️ And it's crazy coz she's inting me to attend party at my previous work etc. told it to my supervisor and he said "what?" That's soooo weird. After all? And she even gave me gifts before I left work. Anyway, how are you doing now? I hope you're doing fine. Sometimes, if we can't handle that kind situation, we just have to get away from them. It's hard to ignore if they keep pushing you to your limit.
Best approach is to be understanding and have a calm and happy attitude. I've learned from past mistakes its not good to emotionally react, point the finger or bring yourself low to someone else. Instead be calm and show the person/team what you value and represent when it comes to conflict. That is calm and collected. This approach really does work!
I love this - and I totally agree. Conflict cannot be resolved without calmness.
Hard to do when you always seem to ATTRACT toxic coworkers because you are "different " and people get irritated with you. I have to be on my guard ALL. THE. TIME! I attract haters for no good reason and I'm pleasant to people and don't step on any toes, yet I'm made fun of and called spacey. I'm just myself and try to be pleasant with others and have a great attitude, yet I get back handed insults or compliments. Am I just unlucky?
If the other party is rude, bossy, infamous for giving attitude to others, and aware of her key-position proceeding to give a hard time to everyone, and loves to power-play. Do you have any extra tips on how to stay calm and collected when dealing with such a person? Thank you so much.
So much of the self-help sphere seems to be geared towards the "normals"--basically well adjusted people coming up against typical life problems. The techniques advised only work when you're dealing with other reasonable or "normal" people. Many of us have to contend with co-workers with personality disorders and other severe toxic behaviours. The only "real" advice I've come across is to get away from the situation as soon as possible.
I agree, I work with at least a couple of suspected narcissistic women.
I know what I want to say but I cry when I say it
How have you been doing with this? I have the same issue.
@@justaphase that was 7 years ago and I got fired.
@@helentart1980 I am sorry to hear that. I have trouble holding back the tears. I have a few conversations coming that are going to be challenging. All the best.
Hi Jennifer, thank you for your content. Unfortunately, I have a coworker that talks way too much and crosses my boundaries when getting angry, by using a very disrespectful tone which implies that I am supposed to be intimidated by it. I told this co-worker that if it happens the fourth time, it will not just be a conversation between the two of us. Well, it did happen a fourth time, and the manager simply dismissed it as too much caffeine and stress. Basically, is the first time I came to him with such a complaint, so he treated it like it was nothing. My question is where do I go from here because I certainly do not want this co-worker to ever feel comfortable enough to do it again. Unfortunately, this is not a great time to look for other employment options. If you can share any advice, I will truly appreciate it.
This can be a golden opportunity to test whether you are working in a toxic environment or just dealing with a difficult co-worker. If one gives you the wrong advice to make you work less effectively, test what they said with a colleague you know they get on well with. A mature co-worker will know what this person is like even if they like them for other reasons and will simply give you a different approach without pointing a finger at the toxic person. But if that difficult colleague overhears they will be stung by what happened and realise they can't get away with much. If you find that all the toxic person does and says is backed up by colleagues in a supportive way to mob you into being wrong, then you know that it is a toxic workplace with a bad culture. In which case, you have few options open to you but to leave. Just do so gracefully. There is nothing at all to be gained by working in such an environment and if a good boss is really any good they won't tolerate this sort of thing and will know full well who the difficult ones are. You also need to know that they might have made a concerted decision to keep them becausee they add value, can't be fired and do a good job in other ways. In other ways losing them would cost more than putting up with them. This is especially true if you are new and they are not. Bosses tend to side with those that are harder to get rid of. That is the truth.
For all other behaviours. Just grin and bear it and ignore them.
So running to the boss is not the answer. It makes you look bad and immature. If you are dealing with unlawful harassment or bullying make a diary and present it formally to HR. But it is about hurt feelings and pride, running to the boss is definitely not the way to go. The last thing a busy, pressurised boss needs is a 'child' for a team member. They don't want to be mummy or daddy too. The only time they'll be interested is if you are prepared to leave and they don't want to lose you but they will still way up who is teh most valuable member and the most difficult to get rid of.
The first response is definitely to confront - discreetly, privately and immediately. I guess that's Fight > Flight.
Ultimately if they are obstinate or just not interested I resolve to working around them and being transparent about it w/ everyone who needs to know.
I like most of your videos, but if you are respectful and they are crossing boundaries and being disrespectful, saying nothing tells them it's ok to treat you this way. People treat you the way you allow.
Exactly!
If I were an employer, I wouldn't put up with disgruntled employees. It's better to have outgoing, energetic and positive employees. If you have problems outside of work, that's your problem and it's no reason to bring it to work and starts conflicts with your coworkers. This turns the workplace into a toxic workplace.
Everyone has a bad day, I don't think we can totally keep our world separate, but I think you got the nail on the head with what's allowed to grow.
Especially when there is one person consistently creating conflict in a negative way. When is allowed, toxicity flourishes.
@@JenniferBrick the person could've also had a fight with their girlfriend/boyfriend and couldn't put aside their emotions while at work which makes it unfair and inconsiderate for everyone else. A guy got dumped by his girlfriend and couldn't keep it together at work and starting crying. The manager sent him home with his full pay for the day.
@@pennsylvanianrrfoamer I love how empathetic their reaction was.
@@JenniferBrick it makes no different to coaching some minor pro hockey team down south. If my players were paying more attention to the girls in the stands, rather than focusing on the game, I'd be pretty livid.
@@JenniferBrick this is what I meant by livid ruclips.net/video/2nR3reKPE5Y/видео.html
How would you handle the situation if they refuse to even have a conversation with you, or if they keep trying to cut the conversation short?
All you can do is approach them with the best of intentions. If they can't receive it, do your best to have empathy (bad behavior comes from a place of self-loathing and unhappiness), and do your best to let it go. Honestly, some people just love drama and this behavior can be part of that; when you won't play along they get bored and move along most of the time.
@@JenniferBrick I had to leave my job bc it was so bad. Sometimes you can’t fix it and you just have to leave bc management does not care and they act like you’re the one with the issue bc you can’t tolerate people mistreating you.
@@jen4492 Yes, exactly!
@@JenniferBrick nice comment! I totally agree!
Listening and focusing on the facts are great advice. Thanks for sharing 👍
Side note unrelated to work topics..
Those colors look gorgeous!! Love the lip color with the yellow and purple in the dress!
Thank you Jennifer,now i am feeling little lot confident on how to deal with them.
also been wacthing your other vidoes and again thank you Jennifer for making my day brighter.
You're so very welcome, Andrew. Thank you for choosing to hang with me!
I have this one coworker who knows exactly how to push my buttons. I feel like he does it on Purpose.
Hi Jennifer I was searching to resolve things after argument with my colleagues and I found your video I watched it and it's good I'll implement this thank you so much for making it I hope you ll make more videos
I am so glad this helped! I post a new video every Tuesday!
@@JenniferBrick that's nice I am going to watch it now thank you
My autistic self cringed at most of this.
Facial expressions, tone, and body language are something we struggle with as a whole; we'll be too busy trying to make sure we look as neurotypical as possible to be able to listen. And if we don't do these things, if the other person doesn't understand autism, we're the jerk for not setting the proper tone.
There is no one way to communicate; this would not work for me at all.
Yess! Thanks for walking us through the science of it. And yes number 3 was 😍! Getting on the same side is such a key foundation to start it off right!
It is the biggest misstep I see people make, and it has the power to immediately diffuse conflict.
Thanks for the video just
got into a conflict with coworker .
The ideal off getting the job done professionally
I really enjoyed this video. Thanks for posting
My coworker doesn't care how I feel she has set traps for me by making allies with new coworkers to disrespect me so when I talk they can use my words against me and also report me to my supervisor and just last week I was insulted by her and I really feel bullied and don't have any support in the work place, I know you're trying to help but do you think reporting her to a higher authority other than my supervisor is the best option
No answer's? Hmmm
You could also check out Dan o'Conner videos on this topic, he has alot of good videos, very informative and a good sense of humor 👍
@Janet, if you're still in that workplace (? Doubtful!) I suggest you prepare a formal complaint against the person(s) who have bullied or harassed you.
Otherwise we let them get away with it.
Company law is (SHOULD BE) on your side.
Best wishes
Violence is the only solution for respect.
Nope
That's called street justice lol
How to deal with coworkers who act like they are helping you while the fact is that they were just doing what they ve been told by the boss?
Are they mad they have to teach you or are they (your coworker and boss) teaching incorrect information?
I work with a toxic bunch of co-workers, and they look for fault and then try to show me up in MS Teams chat in front of all. When I reply to them ,"What do you mean?", they go running to the Team Leader claiming that I 'shut them down", LOL!! I then get confronted by my Team Leader, snd so I tell my Team Leader that they are nit-picking and that its not my fault that its a toxic environment. The Team Leader doesn't like the truth being pointed out. Before, she was a Team Leader, she was a toxic colleague ...
I tend to be assertive if I feel that someone is doing something that is directly effecting my work. I will bring it to the forefront in a group setting. Sometimes I wonder if I may be a bit critical but it’s like they dance around the topics and don’t actually document processes that effect my work and also don’t want anyone involved. It’s a bit redundant, confusing and concerning. They lean on oh we’re a new company or a start up or we’re trying etc. only been with the company 2 months and I’m getting aggravated.
I needed this ❤️
Glad it was there when you needed it!
I'm with you
Not really conflicts but it can be really stressful when someone has an issue with the duties you do. Now that I'm getting a FT position I'm happy but nervous... I wish people could just let me focus on my work so I can be able to move to next step. The Positions others have, I wasn't able to apply because I wasn't actually do that job. It's can be hard sometimes when people make you feel like you don't do enough. Do have a second job and it does not interfere with my duties.. It's stressful not know where you stand as far as trying to grow in the area you were put in...
When someone put others up to inititiating conflicts with you
wow, just found your videos, great advice
Hi Jennifer, I have just subscribed to your channel because you are the first person who talks about work situation and what you said is quite accurate. I wonder if you can give us the tips to deal with people who instead of taking accountability for their work, they shift the blame to others as if it isn’t their fault. Unfortunately, I often see this behaviour mostly from the higher up Managers (can be your direct boss or can be in another department). As they are higher up, they have more power to use others as their scape goat. How do we deal with them. Appreciate your thought and tips in your next video.
I freeze then fight!
Me too 😂😂😂
In regards to the last tip: Done means done. True! But... This does not mean you have to forget what has happened. You just have to fogive and move past it!
Wherever I work, people often ask this dumb and stupid question: "Where are you from?" It really annoys me...I give different answers, depending on my mood and the person's attitude. If I sense something negative in it, I answer by stating where I live now. If it's coming from a friendly person, I answer it by stating where my family live. But if it's coming from a total stranger, I just ignore it and change the topic. I'm thinking that I should start saying something like: " I'm not comfortable talking about my private details" or "Sorry, but it's a private question". If there's a negative follow up, I can always justify it by saying: "I don't ask you private questions about where you were born, do I?" Anybody to suggest anything to me, please comment.
@@kelpie1 Try to be in my skin for a bit!
Just tell the person where you are from. Who knows, you might have something in common with them. So what if you tell someone you were born in Mexico and now live in Ohio. If you look Mexican, you can say you live in Ohio all you want, you will still look Hispanic. You don't need to give them your home address, of course. I think people are too stuck up these days and want to be left alone, but that's how people became life long friends before social media came along and f****d everything up. So, don't be that rude chick who thinks everyone is out to get you.
@@willkeyes8859 I don't think I'm rude at all or stuck up. I think I'm a private person, who likes to keep things about myself private. I think before asking a total stranger this dumb question you need to show them that you are friendly and mean well. I don't have a problem sharing about my heritage with people I know. It's obvious that someone is on their guard when a stranger asks them personal questions!
Super great tips! Thank you 😊
Can you do a role play? My fight or flight goes nuts for days or weeks before a "lessons learned" meeting even if I've done nothing wrong!
If you went to your boss first, should you leave it to them. I told my boss what happened, happened twice. My boss replied through text " no worries and keep up good work". So it's in his hands now right? Should I just let it play out and not say anything to my coworker? Because if it happens again I'm telling my boss I've said nothing to that person, only reported it. Any thoughts?
Sweet you are my guardian angel
I freeze im distracted overthinking about this person in my mind so then my work is messed up
the bonus tip felt like a personal attack. help me get my terrible coworkers fired Jennifer. I want super villian revenge advice not emotional intelligence.
Watched your vid in prep for interview questions
This coworker is very rude with how she speaks to me. Its always around my work and it's minor things. She's not like this with anyone else in the department though. How do I get her to know that i really dont like how she speaks to me without making it super confrontational? When she talks to me like this, i freeze or try to stay calm but in my mind I'm like WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH YOU???? If i can somehow get her to respect me and not talk down to me, that would be cool. I honestly dont even care she doesnt like me..that happens. But be respectful at least.
Freeze
need examples of how that looks like.
Do what you do. Unless you want to go to prison for hurting people that hurt you
And what do you do when its abundantly clear that the person who is making your life hell at work literally only works with you whenever its only the two of us, which means she can do or say anything she wants and have absolutely no consequence. I feel like I'm the only one of us with any sort of morality or consideration of others, which puts me in a losing position because my morals keep me from being awful, but she does not seem burdened by that. They clearly do not care about doing the right thing or being professional. What happens when you can't get on the same side of the table because she has absolutely no stock in the table at all?
I don't like conflicts
What if the conflict cannot be resolved by talking them out?
I cut all relationship with toxic worker. Only say hi and bye. Two of bullies one, I never even say it.
💯
These are great tips! I struggle with effective communication skills to deal with these situations, like what words do I use?? Check out Dan O'Connor on RUclips. He gives you exact words to use -- power and danger phrases -- that get your point across.
in other words, JUST PLAY THE GAME PEOPLE :)
If you have a good manager, get ahead of the curb.
Another thing I witness. When you boss didn’t do their job well, not only they find the scape goats they can go to the next step to take disciplinary action against their staff who may incident contribute to their incompetence or accidentally expose their incompetence. The staff had to leave at the end when it is not his fault. Is it the right thing the staff did? What is your opinion?
😎@ 4:27
i can barely hear you. mic issues.
civilized people are good at starting a friendly productive conversation. making peace is easy in this case. good advice but appeal to nobility only works sometimes. if someone goes to work every day with the resolve to make you miserable, this is a lack of nobility. someone who considers that an option should %100 be flagged and exposed to current employer, coworkers, and prospective employers. once harassers learn their employability is affected the total effect is to keep the behavior in check and to force them to improve. sometimes you need the threat of punishment; sometimes you need actual punishment and _inflicted cost_ but this vid is more about mundane stuff : P
How about this......take your co coworker out to the parking lot and rough em up a bit. Just like the good ole days, we come back to work and everything is fine : ) I wish I could do this to a few of my female co workers!! they are fucking crazy as shit, makes me feel good to be single....oh yess.....dodged a bullet like the matrix!!!!
You pronounce your “a”s in a few words incorrectly. Also the “e” Is used wrongly as well. For example, you pronounced the word “mindset” as “mindsat”. It makes me want to jump off of a bridge 😫.
Please Mario, we don't need pedantic semantics here 😂😂😂
The one part this video fails to highlight is that sometimes the other person has malicious intent and none of your tips will work in that case. If it gets too much for your mental, emotional and physical well being, walk away and find a on that is fulfilling and does not drain you.