What is a Freeze Response
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
- What is a Freeze Response #AskaTherapist //
What is a freeze response? Is freeze response a healthy reaction? Watch this video to learn all about freeze response, what it is, and how to manage it.
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• What is a Freeze Respo...
If a child is raised in an abusive environment, they can't flee, they can't fight. Freeze or fawn is the only safe response. Even though it does damage, it doesn't do as much as fight. Same in abusive adult relationships. It's the second safest response in those situations. Fawn is probably the safest, but we cannot always do that.
I relate - this is some hard TRUTH 🥹🥹🥶
This.
Taking this story into consideration it was very brave to go to a karaoke on a first date
You really earned my respect😂
I tend to freeze and I hate it. This usually happens when someone is making me feel ashamed or uncomfortable. It’s not that I don’t have things I want to say cause I can think them in my head but I either don’t have the courage or my mouth just can’t say my thoughts aloud in that moment.
what about Fawn Some people respond to threatening individuals by turning to people-pleasing. They might attempt to flatter or calm down the person threatening them, perhaps attempting to lighten the mood with self-deprecating humor. People who grew up with narcissistic parents often fall back on the fawn response because it proved so useful in navigating their own problematic upbringings.
Yes. Children cannot flee or fight, so freeze is better than those, but I think fawn is safest. It probably is in many adult abusive relationships too. It isn't good for you, but it's better than the abuse.
First time hearing about this concept. Very interesting
Aawww... don't worry Jono, she was just starstruck 😉 Thank you for sharing this story, it was cute. Your courage at this young age is impressive even though it didn't last long 😅
I froze once as a kid when I had to say something, I can't rember, infront of a big crowd. I was used to do that in a group but doing it alone was frightening, I just had stage fright. People started laughing at me, because my face turned into a fireball, my hands were shaking and I stumbled over my own words. BUT my teacher had my back, he symbolized me to take a breath, gave me a sympathatic smile and a thumbs up. After a minute or so I was kind of able to go through it. He was a really good teacher.
I've had so many moments like that! I call them soul crinkles cause its like when you run your hand over something crinkled (cause your remembering it) then you feel every bump and lump as if it were yesterday permently embossed into your soul and then you die inside for a few seconds then move on with your day.
I've yet to get into a situation that triggers an instinctive response (fight, flight, freeze, fawn), and I hope I never do.
You're forgetting the fourth response, fawn.
Freeze also happens when the body can't deal with what happens, the feelings are just too painful so the body shuts down to protect us.
I have experienced a lot of trauma meaning I have many triggers that may reactivate the alarm system in my body. Becuse I'm disabled, it's often the freeze response my body chooses. My arms get all cold and my emotional response is dampened - not entirely shut off, but dialled down by a lot.
For me the only thing that really helps reactivate my emotions, is to cry myself out until I have no more tears. Skin kontact with someone I trust completely (my partner) also help me calm down and reactivate my emotions.
I have ADHD and I suspect the alarm system responses of fight-flight-freeze-fawn work a bit differently for us, since our brain is physically different from neurothypical brains.
Soooo happy to find your notification and to see your channel back!!!!
Nawww, I wanna give childhood Jono a hug
Almost weekly, at guitar practice. Often when I’m being asked to improv.
Well, it's story time. I avoided public speaking since I was a child. When I was 22 I got r*p and I froze. Where was that fight or flight response? I can not stop blaming myself for doing nothing. And so did my mother and father. I know, it's toxic like hell. But I thought I've learnt from that stituation. Fast foward few years later an a man touches me inappropriately in an elevator. I FROZE again. Wished him a nice day, when we left. What the hell. I should be a leading role in a movie Frozen.
An elevator is pretty much the definition of “cornered,” so I don’t see that you could have done much else.
My freeze response is sometimes so overpowering, that I've had days where even the thought of doing a load of laundry is overwhelming. I noticed it started to get a lot worse after I had my daughter (PPA and PPD), but it never settled. It's taken me 6 years to finally find a medication that actually helps, but there are still bad days.
Hi, what Is the medication pls, I need help from this.
Thankyou.
@julianoner Sorry, I don't like naming meds, as I'm not a medical professional, but I will say that SSRI style meds didn't work for me and I was moved to an SNRI.
Both are pretty typical anti-depressants, but SSRIs target serotonin only, while SNRIs target serotonin and noradrenaline (according to my understanding of google). I suggest doing some research on it to build a list of questions for your doctor. I'm aware of at least 4 groups of anti-depressant and related meds, and I have family in all those groups, having little to no results in the other ones.
@@brianneporchak3023 Hi thanks for getting back to me.
I'm In the process of seeing my dr. at the moment and doing my research and on youtube also.
I may even try Stratera (adhd) to see if that helps.
Would you be able to mention the SNRI your on or even maybe hint?
It would help alot and give me some hope.
You can tell me then delete the comment, up to you.
I'm in Australia so it's late here at the moment,
Thankyou so much, I hope your doing much better 🙏🙏
Hi thanks for getting back to me.
I'm in the process of seeing my Dr. at the moment and doing my research and on youtube also.
I may even try stratera (adhd) to see if that helps.
Would you be able to mention the SNRI your on or maybe even hint?
It would help alot and give me some hope.
Thankyou so much, I hope your doing much better 🙏🙏
bro, that's one hell of a cliff hanger🥶
This responses are a very interesting toppic. (freeze, fight, flight...)
Oh I would also like to see a video of the fawn response on this channel.
It's an response I didn't know about for up to half a year.
AND THANKS for sharing your ,,embarrassing" story. :)
I agree. I didn't know about it until about a year or so ago, and it makes sense. More apropos for adults than children, but it may actually be the safest in abusive relationships. I used it often in mine.
Yes, I totally look forward to the strategies to work through this!
Okay now you have to give us your cover of Santa Fe!
I spent almost 13 years with an abusive parent, and the only thing I could do in the worst moments was to freeze. I have always been small and weak compared to others my age, so I had no chance if I chose to fight, and the only way I could flee, was to spend as much time as possible at friends houses. The only time I have chosen too fight was the last time I met this parent, not because she just showed up, or because others made me think it was the only way. That day something clicked inside of me, I was determined not to do what she wanted, so I yelled and at one point she sat on the ground trying to convince me that she was right, and I just stood over her and yelled her right in the face, it might seem weird, but when I remember that, that feeling of, for the first time in my life haveing control, I can't help but smile. She pops up in my life occasionally, but when she do, I try to remove myself from the situation.
I still have problems dealing with freezing, I freeze in almost all uncomfortable situations.
Sending the biggest virtual hugs (if wanted)
@@Miss_Lexisaurus thanks
i was JUST talking about fight or flight and freeze response with my therapist yesterday. what great timing!
If I had to think hard very few times in my life I had freeze response because I am mostly a fight person. Well done video and I am waiting for the fight video.
Not sure if this is the same, might be more avoidance, but I pretend to not read and delay text responses if it's about something I don't want to do but feel obliged to that make me uncomfortable. Things like asking if I'm going to certain events or someone asking for something I'd rather not do, I think I put it off hoping it doesn't come or that it'll be solved on its own.
We've been talking about this in my lifespan development class in my counseling program.
It's kind of a small thing but I've always hated it. The moment when I was expected to make jokes or doing standup or having interesting conversations in a closed group with so many people and they look at me. I just froze and I got nothing to say, I tried but at that moment I really want it to stop and move away from being center of attention.
But it's not like I completely have anxiety to public speaking. I could if I come prepared. But if it's spontaneous I couldn't even think of what to say, it feels suffocating, I even got a little headache and my head feels hot.
I froze I’m pretty sure when a guy I was kissing decided he could just grope my chest without asking and knowing I didn’t want to do anything sexual. Like in the moment I wasn’t liking it but I didn’t say anything until he actually grabbed hard enough to hurt so I said ouch but I can’t remember if he stopped after that it’s kinda a blur.
But yeah, I think that was a definite freeze situation. It took a week before I just started feeling disgusted by it and knew it wasn’t wanted or enjoyed by me. I didn’t really think about it being sexual assault but it 100% was-assault isn’t always carried out by violence.
I've been frozen for the last year.
im a freezie! then panic
Hi, I'm just writing this here because it's the most recent video and I need someone to read this.
I've struggled with pornography since I was 8. It's been years and years of relapses, making promises, relapses, making promises. I always feared it would destroy my future family. I developed extreme anxiety and apeirophobia. I felt like trash and unworthy of love. When I met my wife I tried so hard to not make any mistakes from the past. Our engagement was a living hell because her family hated me and I just felt more and more like trash like I wasn't worth anything. We got married, and over time she told me everything I tried to do to make things right during the engagement hurt her. Anxiety, playing with suicidal thoughts with no real plan, stress, and low self-esteem destroyed me. Then the worst happened...I relapsed. I selfishly hurt my own wife...again. She told me if her mom knew how much she had to suffer because of me, she wouldn't understand why we still were together. I've never feared my marriage would be over, but now it's hanging by a thread. I'm alone, and it's my fault. I can't feel any type of joy, peace, or anything. For hours on end, tears have streamed down my face even as I'm writing this comment. My wife hates me and I don't blame her. I feel I ruin everything I touch. I tried to have hope, I did everything I could...yet I failed. I can never forgive myself for what I did and how I betrayed my wife. I have no one to talk to. Seeing the pain in my wife's eyes crushes my soul and I have no excuses. I don't want to feel better, I don't want someone to tell me I'm worth something, I just need someone to read this. This is the worst moment of my life. I don't feel any desire to relapse again, of course, but the damage's already been done, and I'm so sorry. Forgive me if I don't use the right words.
I'm in an abusive situation (on my way out) with former friends/flatmates. Everyone in the house is all about virtue signaling and talking about these machanisms in the context of sexualised violence. But when I froze and later fawned after being literally screamed at and viciously attacked, the only response was "too bad that happened (as if it was just fate or smth), but why didn't you defend yourself?" I have been suffering panic attacks and depression for over 6 weeks since then.
I'm so disappointed and disgusted with this whole environment. 6 nights to go until I can finally move out.
I used to freeze in fights. It still happens today sometimes. I can't deal with people yelling or speaking very loudly or aggressively for too long. I can manage for a short while but if they don't stop, I'll literally freeze up. I'm not able to respond anymore and often I can't even move. Depending on the other person, this behaviour will make them even angrier... I still hear them though. And i can also still think. I'm just completely disconnected from my body. It's extremely frightening and makes dealing with conflict more difficult than it should be. Right now, I'm trying to learn to set boundaries and get out of situations before I get to the point where I freeze up.
When I was a teenager, it was so bad I started shaking in class because of some heated arguments (e.g. in politics class or sth, so the situation itself wasn't dangerous for me at all but I just couldn't deal with angry/aggressive people/atmospheres). It annoyed me so much I started participating in those arguments more and pushed myself to my limits. I remember one time I was arguing against the whole class about some sexist topic. I had read about feminist history and what it was about etc, so I had a lot to say about sexism. The other people in class weren't aware of these issues though. I didn't back down in class but afterwards I cried in my car before I drove home because I was mentally so exhausted from keeping myself from freezing. Something good happened, too: My teacher came to me after class and praised me. He also said he was on my side and agreed with my POV. :) That was proof to me that certain arguments shouldn't be avoided and that my efforts will be worth it.
Hey! love your videos. Could you do a video on House of the dragon? I really want to hear your take.
im in school to be a teacher and i just want to know what the teacher was doing durring that.
Oh btw you should watch the music video "Deer in the headlights" by Owl City 🤣. Then you'd get why you froze
I'm not entirely sure if all of these experiences count as freeze response, but whenever I'd have a distant crush growing up. Multiple times the boy came up to talk and my brain just couldn't think of anything. If I could squeeze out a sentence it was a victory. XD The scariest time was my first kiss though. (Which didn't start as a distant crush, so I was really surprised when I had the response.) I felt like a little kid being shy hiding behind my parent's legs... I was over thinking it and lost control of where I could look and what my body was doing and that freaked me out more. Until he kissed me then it all went away. Kinda scared him too at first... I don't know how I would've gotten out of the situation otherwise. Kind of made me glad I never kissed until age 20 where the guy was mature enough to handle the situation well.
I heard that freeze is the common response for folks with cPTSD because we've been in traumatic situations that we couldn't escape for so long. Is that true? Anecdotally it seems true for me but I don't know if that's just chance!
There's also faint or fawn response right
What happens to fascia in freezemode?
Jonathan Ezekiel Decker you cannot bring all that up and then “how do you deal with that? Teehee tell ya next time!”
I’m not really mad I know how this works and I’m pretty sure your middle name isn’t Ezekiel but when I’m “mad” at my friends I make up a middle name so I can play yell like I’m their mom. It’s a fun improv exercise to try to think of one in the moment. ;)
But srsly. I’m your age and have frozen most of my life. I froze many many times today because I’m in a new job and I’m terrified I’ll mess it up and lose it like I’ve lost the last three after my family fell apart when my dad got really sick. And the freezing of course makes it more likely that I will lose the job. Which terrifies me more.
I’m in treatment for MDD thru a VA psychiatrist and a private therapist, but even though everyone on the team agrees I also screen positive for ADD and cPTSD, no medication regimens have helped and I am so so so tired of fighting every day just to do the basics. My life is a cycle of Flowers for Algernon but instead if intelligence it’s the ability to function.
Anyway I have a million tools to try when I freeze, but mostly I try to use the 54321 senses thing, or focus on the next microtask I want to complete (often playing “Next Right Thing” from Frozen II in my head or on my phone).
But often I just crumple and numb out on my phone. It’s how I ended up here to see this video today.
This is bonkers long and I can’t imagine you’ll read it but if you do please please help with that next video… I want to move forward with my life without having to lowcrawl through mud while bullets fly overhead (sorry, am retired military, the metaphors suit…)
2 hours later… “wait maybe that wasn’t his latest video… go check” and sure enough the “how to control” video
So. Thank you 🤎🌻