TIMELINE👇 [00:00] Intro [00:25] Preface [00:55] Tip 1: Do The Self-Work [04:14] Tip 2: Prepare Your Body [07:10] Tip 3: Learn Domestic Skills [09:12] Tip 4: Manage Your Finances [11:03] Tip 5: Change Your Circle Of Influence [13:21] Final Thoughts & Outro
If I were to date now, being married 30 years, I would recommend the items you mentioned, plus the following: 1. Humility - If you view yourself as a queen / know it all, then you will be extremely difficult to live with. 2. Charity - Love / Forgiveness. If you build a museum of your husband's past wrongs and take them on a tour every time you get upset, you will make life miserable for yourself and your husband. 3. Patience - Things take time to get better. A mortgage isn't paid off in a few years. One gets wise slower than one gets older. Be patient with your spouse and your children. 4. Thankfulness - be thankful for what you have and don't be looking for what others have. Work hard and pray hard and play. 5. Look for the Good in People -- especially for those in your family 6. Grace -- Give your family your best behavior, not your friends or your work 7 Faithfulness -- Don't cheat, even verbally or emotionally. Ever. It is better to live in the corner of a roof then with a contentious wife -- Proverbs, don't know the chapter or verse. Don't be contentious. Good luck! And the above applies for husbands as well.
that is an outstanding list of additions to this video. i have been married nearly twenty years and the only reason why i have not left (physically) is because of my children. if she has not changed when the last is gone, she may as well look for a career. i am getting a yacht and sailing on.
Some words of advice: 1. Be the type of person you want to attract. If you want someone who is in shape are you in shape? If you want someone giving are you giving? 2. Consider what do you bring to the table. Also what can you do for the other person not just what they can do for you. It is important this is reciprocal. 3. Make sure a guy says he wants a relationship not a "We will see what happens." Guys like that 99% do not have serious intention or serious intentions about you. 4. Work on assertive communication and if you don't know what that means look it up. For example instead of saying "I hate that you never do the dishes". You could say "I love when you help me with the dishes, it is such a relief." 5. Know that if a guy likes you, there will not be guessing. 6. Make sure you are on the same page if you want kids, find a guy who wants the same. 7. Find out if you have similar fundamental values and/or if you can be respectful and understand the other person's point of view. 8. Have hobbies, friends and a life outside of your partner. You can't expect one person to meet all your needs. Be interdependent not codependent with your significant others. These are things that have helped me greatly. I am currently in the most healthy and happy relationship of my life.
Adding to your first point. The biggest mind set shift I personally had was to stop thinking selfishly. Instead of having thoughts of what my bf (now husband) could do or give me, I started thinking of what could I give or do for him. How can I make his life easier, happier, comfortable? This selfless mind set also carried over when we decided to have our first baby. It was what made me realize I was ready to be a mom (the kind of mom I want to be). I see a lot of women in relationships who can't let go of their old or single life even after having children as well.
Also one other huge tip if you’re Christian is to figure out what biblical wifehood looks like. This is a great time to study biblical womanhood by reading all the stories in the Bible about women. I have a huge list of references I can send to anyone who wants to start 💜
THE INTRODUCTION of WOMAN 1. When was womanhood first introduced in scripture? 2. Why and by whom were we named “woman”? 3. What should we be to those around us? 4. What event in Genesis marked our influence as women? Scripture List: Genesis 2, 3, 17, 18 Our origin story begins as Adam was tending to the garden. God saw that as he was tending, there was not a “help meet” for Adam. So God made Adam an help me from a rib out of Adam's side. He put him into a deep sleep , took his rib out , and made Eve. When Adam arose, he said “this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.” (Genesis 2:20-23). Help meet comes from the Hebrew word azar ָע ַזר which means aid. So womanhood begins with being a Help or Aid. (This is a great note to take!). This was the reason God created us in the first place! So in our very DNA is the ability to be a help. Aid does not mean that everything is our responsibility but it does mean any instance where God instructs you to be involved requires you to be a help and not a hinderance. Aid also doesn’t mean that we are here to be used and abused! It means that with proper care and consideration, what we have has the ability to improve! Maybe some of us have not unlocked this ability as of yet but it is there! Evaluate what your presence brings. Does what you say and do promote help or does it worsen an environment? What does being a help meet look like In action with your family, friends, and/or spouse? Shortly after our introduction, our influential nature was introduced. Most of us know the story of the garden and how Eve was deceived by the serpent in eating the fruit of the tree of life. A lot of preachers utilize this scripture to address disobedience (totally biblically supported). While reading this scripture I was shown the power of our influence. Eve brought the fruit to Adam after being deceived and although Adam knew the instruction of God, He still ate of the fruit. He listened to Eve even though he knew the instruction of the Lord. God even tells Adam that because he “hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, which I commanded thee, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life” (Genesis 3: 17). In that moment, Adam has place the word of God second to his wife’s word. As a woman, we have the ability to influence our peers, spouse, etc. to do what we feel is right or in our best interests. That’s why is so importance to ensure that the desires of your heart are in line with God’s desire and will for our lives. Women have a responsibility to use our influence for God’s glory. Otherwise we will continuously make the same mistake as Eve (being deceived and ending up being the source of demise for others). Think about your influence on your job or in your family. Do you uphold the principles of Holiness? Are you using the skills God has given you for God’s glory or your own personal gain? Reflection Time! Do you have a heart of helpfulness? Are you Utilizing your influence for God’s glory? What action items are you taking from this module? Another great example of influence is Esther! Read her entire story! Jot down a few notes of how her influence created change.
HAVING A HEART THAT IS LEAD TO CHRIST Focus Questions: 1. Should we follow our heart? Why or why not? 2. What issue did Martha have with Mary? What was Jesus’s response to this situation? 3. What “heart-leading” choices do you need to make in order to have a heart of Christ? Scripture List: Jeremiah 17:9-10 Luke 10:38-41 John 1:12 Module 1 we discussed women being a help and using our influence for good. In this module we will discuss our heart. Our ability to be all of those things in module 1 is contingent upon how we LEAD our heart. There are many people who believe that following your heart is the way but I am learning that leading our heart is what God desires us to do. How do we know we should lead our hearts? The bible says in Jeremiah 17:9-10 that “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.” So why would we follow wickedness instead of leading it (our heart) to Christ to be made new? We also see in John 1:12, we see that “as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name”. Being a believer of God is a choice that requires us to lead our hearts. In our hearts lie wickedness that doesn’t want to be saved or changed so we have to Lead our hearts in the way it should go. Leading our heart looks like staying prayerful, reading our word, and studying so that we know what God requires of us. It means making the choice daily to live for God no matter how people view us! Leading our heart isn’t just about our relationship choices! It’s about living a life that shows that we are TRANSFORMED through Christ. Look at the instance with Mary and Martha. In Luke 10:38-41, Martha received Jesus and the disciples into her home. Mary, her sister came and sat at Jesus feet leaving Martha alone to serve. Verse 40 says that “Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? Bid her therefore that she help me.” Instead of Jesus telling Mary that she should get up and help her sister serve, He told Martha that what Mary had chosen to do was the right thing! What can we learn from this scripture? Although Martha believed that she was in the right place doing the right thing, she was feeling burdened by the fact she had a lot of serving to do, she hadn’t checked her heart. Martha could’ve led her heart to serve alone without complaint or frustration. She could have also observed that Mary saw Jesus’s presence as a blessing and instead of condemning Mary, she could’ve been an encouraging factor in Mary lying at Jesus’s feet. Keep this heart check in mind if you desire to be married. What you do is great but why you do it matters more. If you pray out of routine or habit, it will be less fruitful than if you lean in with Faith, expectation and an understanding that every encounter with God is not to be taken for granted. Ask yourself these questions: Am I leading my heart in the direction of righteous, love, virtue, and patience? Am I acting off of emotion instead of taking the time to remember who I am representing? Will my actions shine a positive light on Jesus Christ or have people questioning who I serve? Link to a sermon by Pastor Julian E. Spires that I enjoyed during Women’s Weekend 2020 about Martha & Mary ruclips.net/video/r7rm-Kbu9zY/видео.html Another Great Example of a heart that is Christ led is the story of Ruth! We all have heard about how Ruth came to be with Boaz BUT reread this story to understand her relationship with her mother-in-law Naomi!
The PROVERBS 31 Woman 1. What makes a woman virtuous according to scripture? 2. What character traits are present in this description of a virtuous woman? 3. What standards are we supposed to keep? Scripture List: Proverbs 18:22 Proverbs 31: 10-31 2 Corinthians 5:10 Proverbs 31 is the last module in this study because I see so many people quote these scriptures without studying what it really says. It seems that the only thing that we take away from this chapter is what it takes to be a wife. When in all honesty, this shows us the character traits necessary for life (as well as marriage and motherhood). We also can see in this chapter our potential shortcomings as women in Christ . What are the missing links that we have that prevent us from reaching our full potential? To be effective in marriage and motherhood, we need to have the character traits that align with the covenant! Marriage and Motherhood are both a MINISTRY. Meaning that it is important to be faithful and prayerful BEFORE entering into these covenants. Proverbs 31 houses a lot of great information but I want us to study from a SOBER place. So we are addressing these scriptures in terms of character traits. Here are the list of some of the character traits outlined in this chapter: The first trait we will address is our rarity & being an asset as seen in verse 10; where it says “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.” This verse shows us that we as woman in Christ are assets when operating in virtue. In a world where man’s ideals of true womanhood seem to always oppose God’s word, be comforted in knowing that according to God, our modestly, hardworking, and God-fearing nature is VALUED. This may mean that at times people will think we are strange or “too deep” but always go back to the Word of God in 2 Corinthians 5:10 “For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.” We all have a responsibility to take full responsibility for all we do, say and act in this body! The Next trait we see is the hardworking nature of a virtuous woman. Many of the verses address the hardworking nature of a virtuous woman but one I wanted to highlight was verse 15. “She rises also while it is yet night, and gives me to her household, and a portion to her maidens”. This verse really outlines the importance of utilizing time wisely, being caring and responsible. Even in singleness we can practice our ability to rise early and get things done! This can look like exercising, early morning prayer, study time and even doing charitable work. The point is to ensure that we are using our time to really care for others and for ourselves. Establishing these habits early makes it easier to integrate others into your life. As we go further into the scripture, we see how virtuous woman work with their hands creating (verses 13 and 14) and also have good discernment. Verse 16 states that “she considereth a field and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planted a vineyard”. We may not specifically be buying land right now but utilize this characteristic as a benchmark for other things. Have good discernment when it comes to forming relationships, saying “yes” or “no” to requests and even receiving advice. We have to be able to really be aware for the safety and success of our lives. Virtuous women are favored. Favor rests in us as a result of our diligence, love, and character. Proverbs 18:22 verifies that with the scripture we all know “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” We uphold this scripture by being a great woman in the body of Christ before we get married, engaged or otherwise. The reality is that all of these character traits are practiced and perfected daily! No one wakes up being this level of caring, patient, kind, etc. This is learned behavior! Chayil is the Greek word for virtue and is defined as having and showing high moral standards. So if we are to be virtuous in God’s eyes, we must show and have God’s standards. What are the standards of God? The entire Word of the Lord speaks to God’s standards! This is the challenge I have for you all as we conclude this study. Begin reading your bible daily. One chapter each day whether on your phone or your physical bible, READ. Be transformed by the word! Read about other women in Christ and all that they embodied! TO DO: Find where the other characteristics are found and find examples of women in the bible who exemplify these traits.
I really want to say THANK YOU for this. I know it took time for you but this really helped me and opened my eyes. God bless you and continue to be a vessel. Amen!
My wife candidate grading card that works without fail: 1. Fit 2. Feminine 3. Friendly 4. Frugal 5. Domestic skills 6. Virtuousness which includes body count 7. Quality of family and friends 8. Intelligence 9. Cooperativeness 10. Habits: Drinking, Drugs, Gambling, Social Media Use 11. Education and major 12. Looks A woman who wants to be a wife candidate should max out the Top 10 stats she has control over. A man who is looking for a wife should pick the woman he can get with the highest score in the above.
I'm a guy. I subbed to your channel and binged your videos for several hours today. The most important thing I think you mentioned in this video is creating a peaceful home to come to. Seriously an underrated, and underappreaciated, factor of a family. Great stuff. I want to find a male RUclipsr who is a husband/father and makes content like this. 🔥🔥
Thank you so much. As a content creator that is one of the best compliments. I hope you do too. I really like Elliot hulse. I’m not sure if you’ve ever checked out his content but he is great!
Thanks so much for this, Rebecca! As a man in his 30s, I can attest to having dated women who were more interested in social media than cooking, who were more interested in their dogs than having children, and many other various experiences I could bring up. I brought some shit to the relationship, so it's not like I'm just solely playing the blame game here. I know I messed up in the past and should have been more aware of my bad habits and unattractive qualities. Thank you for showing women how to behave in a relationship, cause it seems to be unheard or not adhered to by quite a few ladies out there. Love your content!
Yes I want to know more about OMAD!! I am a new wife, almost 3 years married and I am trying to be the best wife I can. I was raised to be an independent woman, so I am learning how to be a traditional wife. He is worth it. Thank you.
@@RebeccaBarrett i know this may seem odd, nut do you have an advice for men on how to be good husbands? and how does a man tell if the woman hes with is genuniely ready for marriage?
Thank you for speaking out about hormonal birth control. I have so many friends that got on the pill in their teens, and now in their late 20s and early 30s, they’re struggling for years to even get pregnant once. It’s so sad. There’s lots of good info in books like Beyond the Pill as well.
I would also add to the "self-work" category doing some personal research into child development, healthy/unhealthy parenting styles, child-to-caregiver attachment styles, conflict management, even good debate etiquette and how to respect differences. Some things along those lines.
Honestly all really good advice. Sphere of influence is a big one. I know I had to back away from those sorts of friends when I realized I couldn’t deal with the nonsense of casual relationships and hookup culture anymore. All my friends are basically married/moms now and I’m the single girl who never parties, stays home to garden and bake, etc 😂
Love you!! 💜💜 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!! I have been working in being femenine and how to be a wif, cause it is difficult right now to find a roke model near me. And when I was looking for femine content, there was about physical things and non Christian mentality itself. Thank you. Much blessings for your beautiful family💜💜💜
I wish I had watched this video before I got married 😂 my husband has been so patient with me as I've been learning how to be a good wife. I've come a long way!! Hahaha
This is fantastic advice, Rebecca. Thank you! I was raised by a boss babe mom who truly emasculated my dad in many ways. Yet, my traditional Caribbean grandparents have been married for 50 years. My grandmother and my mentors are all married women who guide me through life and into the path of marriage. My current suitor has given me a promise ring and plans to ask my father for my hand in marriage next month. I’m nervous yet feeling prepared at the same time… Based on your video, I’m doing the work and will continue to do better.
Very good points, Rebecca. Absolutely spot on. It trips me out how these modern females (because they're not women) get upset that men want them to cook and clean--only forgetting that domestic skills are a HUGE part of being a wife. I recall a time in college, and I was a part of an organization for which we held a potluck meal. While I brought in my pan of homemade baked mac and cheese (yes, I cooked in college) , another young lady brought in either plates or napkins and snickered at the fact that she couldn't cook. I was flabbergasted, and we were in our early 20's...in the 90's! If this was something in college, I could only imagine how things are right now.
You are so spot on. On the financial part, In the past many years ago I passed over a lot of women with large credit card debts (aka: unsustainable and out of control). I'd generally find that out on the 2nd or 3rd date where I'm still 'vetting' them. However, I later would get a lot of 'boasting' from dates about getting or completing a degree on these dates and me failing do vetting on the 'student debt' itself. I found it was a 'touchy' subject to 'vet' on as where my date would 'beam with pride' whereas I was concerned about finding out how much debt she was accumulating and how many years she had to pay that off (aka: how many years before she'd be in a marriageable position without me eating that debt prematurely just to 'wife her up'). For me, a large amount of 'debt' is a poison pill even if she checks off all the other boxes. These days, I hear 'degree' and I think 'debt' but fortunately, I already have family and warn my daughter to 'stay out of the debt trap'.
Yes to video on OMAD!! Could you also talk about your eating habits while you were pregnant? I’m used to doing intermittent fasting but now that I’m pregnant my eating window has expanded a lot and I’m worried about putting on a ton of weight (beyond the healthy baby weight gain)
Yes, I can definitely make that video. I was fasting for years before I got pregnant. Pregnancy was difficult for me too because I was used to a short eating window. I can definitely add that to my video
Well done Rebecca. This Top 5 is spot on, top tier advice for women that are interested in marriage. Women should ensure that they are working to develop the skills, traits, and situational realities related to these. And men should be looking to ensure that any woman that they are considering as wife material has these elements in place - and also of course meeting their men's half of the success in marriage criteria.
Oh my goodness, I just found you and I cannot believe how much truth you speak! It's amazing work that you do, I have been married for 10 years now with a baby on the way and I can tell you that all of what you said is true! You want a happy life with a good husband? Stop pretending to be the queen of a broken castle and be the princess of a thriving kingdom! That way, prince charming is going to come around and snatch you up!
BRO! I've been on OMAD 22/2 protocol since March of this year. Lost 56 pounds 213 to 155!!! Eat whole foods organic, get rid of the seed oils and processed sugars and foods. Max calories 2200!!!
I'm definitely working on me! Domestic Violence survivor here.... so, therefore, divorced. Learning what opened up the way for the ex to find a place in my heart before brain engaged... and praying (if God wills) to be the best wife he could've imagined or better, for another man, if I do remarry... I do have 2 boys from the ex, but I have sole custody. So, in many ways, I need a good man to help show them how to be good men! Anyways, thanks for the tips! A favorite statement of mine: "The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement!"
Biggest thing I learned to avoid feeling like a burden on my husband was to keep myself busy with chores. What can I be doing that’s beneficial to the household while my husband is at work?
After inhabitating this planet for over half a century I can say from my own observations that the men that are married to women who take just half the excellent advice from Mrs. Barett to heart are almost worshipping their women. They desire them deeply, even after decades as a married couple, they respect them, love them, protect them, satisfy them, give them access to all rescources they posess, and in many instances will go through fire to keep them safe. I cant speak for any women, but that doesnt sound to bad of a deal. Those women who make an effort to become excellent wifes recieve even more than they have to give.... Food for thought. Its like excercise. We stress our body and give it uncomfort in the now, to harvest strength, agility and health in the long run.
I’m glad I didn’t marry a man who wants me to stay home all weekend. I obviously don’t participate in hookup culture but I’m glad he didn’t try to make me a homebody when I’m not.
Loved the video! I am grateful my boyfriend and hopefully soon to be fiancé knows how to cook. I learned how to “survivally cook” as I like to say since my parents were too busy at some moment in their lives to teach me but he is great at making meals and I’m learning from him. Otherwise I’ve been able to learn a lot of domestic skills from just being an only child for most of my life and again since my parents were busy and taught me to be self sufficient.
Married 25 years,,,,my kids are 18 and over now. I was a party animal, been on my own at 14. I wanted family and that was what I looked for when dating. Before 18 I was messing with 30 yr olds. I was going to marry a woman older than me. Luckily, I found out she was damaged beyond repair. 4 years later I married a woman my age. 25 yrs later, couldn't be happier. Listen to this woman
Wow! What an excellent presentation Rebecca. Very good advice. Not only is it helpful for young women, but it is helpful for young men too. Stay blessed. 👏🙏🙏🙏
If you put your man first, remarkably, he will put you first. Just to remind you, it is not a competition. Know your stuff, so the man is proud to introduce you to his family and work colleagues. And that he will trust you with his children and household.
Great video. There is something very important that isn't addressed here. I would put it at 0 on your lost as it permeates through your 5 points. Learning how to Show Respect. Learning how to show your husband respect after being raised in a world that emphasizes disrespecting men is going to be extremely difficult for todays and tomorrows women. The ONLY remaining example for this is if you are one of the lucky few who had mothers that speak of and treats their husband with a high regard of respect and gratitude. There is little to no social narratives that remind women of the 2nd most important thing a man wants from his wife.
So, I can attest to all of these. When I met my wife 6 years ago: She was in a dnd group with mostly married couples. She got me into it and we were the only single people there. She wasn’t going out to bars as she doesn’t drink, and we still don’t drink She wasn’t hooking up She had healthy lifestyle She had control of her finances and has amazing credit. She even helped me get my student loans to finish school after we got married She knew how to cook and clean, and notably changed her Arsenal to accommodate my sudden allergy to gluten. She learned the hard way earlier that the top crop of men don’t want her. Shes the type that makes cookies for crushes. She tried in high school to please a crush and he flat rejected her for not being hot enough. Now she has an inherent distrust of successful good looking men. It’s served her well.
My wife and her friend are like "Night and Day" when it comes to being wife material. My wife's friend constantly want to go out, drink and go to social gatherings whenever she wasnt working that day. Unfortunately, me and the wife has witnessed our friend's engagement fall apart right before our very eyes on Facebook & Tiktok and they constantly invite us to Double Date, while me and the wife know we are only invited to entertain them. 🤣 They officially broke up last week and we weren't really surprised, because she wasnt ready to settle down since she lost the weight and was going to settle with her Fiancee. 😑
Hey I have a question. I has my 2nd baby 7 months ago, with my first the weight came off in a couple of weeks, with the 2nd I just lost it all after 7 months. I want to lose additional weight still and have considered fasting, but I have also read that one shouldn't "diet" while nursing because it negatively impacts milk supply. What did you do to negate that? I'm concerned I might experience a drop and might not be able to provide for my baby
Rebecca: all good points but a man has to be responsible too Even when i was in college i never let my mother do my clothes, I can operate a washing machine too. And girls appreciated when coming over a man with no dirty dishes in the sink or on the couch and made it more romantic and easier to get a woman excited... know what i mean???
I usually agree with a great majority of what you say Rebecca...here you have nailed it, 100% girl. Please keep your great important work. Good luck to you, and your family...Mark Williams
When we were old enough my mum told me & my sister her 3 secret rules for a successful & happy marriage. We can only pass on the rules to our daughters if we have any & the man can never know the rules. Of course I can't tell you what they are but as they say 'mum's always right' 😊
Rebecca is the type of woman that should be properly going after the top 20% man she is the definition of a bad "B" !!! Cuz all these women think about I have to have a bad body and all the stuff done I got to have money no it starts with your mindset and how you treat your body and how calm you are I would love to come home to a woman like her every single day Big ups to you!!!
For all the young women that think there are not other women who are older and have learned lessons in this arena, you are mistaken. I don't have children and would be so glad to be your surrogate auntie. There are ladies like me, but as Rebecca just said, you have to go to church or seek out a family member. This is wise counsel.
fasting; eating one meal a day is essential!! our bodies are NOT made to eat 3 huge meals a day or eating all day, horrible for your digestive system too. easy-- be attractive/ fit, clean, cook, and regular sex. not very hard ladies great video rebecca per usual 👏🏽💗
Depends on the person 😊 My health and hormones and sleep has dramatically improved eating the pro metabolic way, every 2-3 hrs with a focus on protein. Fasting can be detrimental to fertility also for women.
@@ShortGirlsClimbCounters the exception doesn't make the rule. if someone has a certain reason to eat at specific times then that's what they should do, i was clearly speaking in generalities. if you're going to make statements like "fasting causes infertility" you should back up/site your claims, because that's simply not true; you can't just believe everything you see on the internet, people should do their own research and find what works best for them.
@@morrggss_ hard to back something up on youtube. There are thousands of women out there that did fasting/keto/restrictive diets for years that felt great at first, then went down hill. Look into "women are not small men".
Thank you! Far too many times women want and hassle or harass men about getting married buy they refuse to take stalk of themselves FIRST before even raising the subject of marriage. You hit the nail on the head when you talked about cleanliness, cooking, eat out, spending or shopping addictions. They chose to ignore all these BUT your man is watching 👀 you, then you always wonder why he won't marry you. It doesn't matter if you get a lot of looks from other men, a man that you want to spend your life with looks at those things and PAST YOUR LOOKS.
Thanks for this video! It is so helpful to have concrete goals. Also, you mentioned doing a video on fasting. I hope you get the chance to, as I would definitely watch it😊
Sound advice, agreed i dont like gyms , i have never worked out in a gym , but i lost a 100 points, by walking ( gentle walk ) and diet changes. , it took time but it worked, and cut alcohol. Drank more water , the weigh fell of me , and i didn't really stop eating anything , just changed portion size , like yes you can have that chocolate cake or whatever, but after you have finished your chores or whatever you have been putting off
@@RebeccaBarrett yes me too , i live by a small river, i walk everyday, watch the birds and swans , and there are benches along the path , you can sit down, read watch the scenery, and then walk again if your tired, the fresh air is great . Very peaceful.
The mindset is extremely important. Too many people (men and women) don’t think of life as a partnership with others, always putting their feelings and expectations ahead of contributions to any relationship. It is often said that marriage is a 60/60 deal. If your contributions are anywhere near equal, you probably feel that you are doing more than your partner. This is purely human nature that must be suppressed to be successful in any relationship. People tend to over value their contribution and under value (or just be plain oblivious to) contributions from their partner. You have to develop a “we and us” mindset and avoid the “me and them
Ive been married for 3 years now and I've had to un-learn so many toxic, feminist habits that I didn't know I had! Through my marriage God has taught me to submit to my husband, to compromise and to serve instead of being catered to like the princess I thought I was. Surprisingly when you choose to serve your husband he begins to dote on you, he falls deeper in love and you get treated like a princess. Marriage isn't 50/50 it's 100/100. Each one of you gives all of you because your one flesh now.
#6 women should ask themselves am I an asset or a liability? Which side or the balance sheet a woman is on is important to most men. Women who have 200 dollar haircuts and 75 dollar nails and 500 dollar purses etc. might look good. And might be fun for a week or so but the maintenance costs are something most men think about. So as a woman is important to think about the cost vs benefit analysts most men will do.
Here is the list, but adapted for men: 1) Analyze yourself. What are your habits? How does your room/apartment/house look? Can you maintain your own private space? How is your health (eating habits, working out, mental health)? Everyone has a routine, whether good or bad. What is your routine? 2) Prepare your body. If you're going to become a dad, your health has an impact on your child's genetics. Think of the overall health of your child stemming from a single snapshot in time of your health when they're conceived. Nuff said 3) Learn trade skills/domestic skills. What sort of skills can you use to provide for your family? Work at it, and become so good at it that nobody can ignore you. Also, you shouldn't be completely helpless without a wife. You should be able to get by on your cooking (doesn't need to be fancy, but should be relatively healthy i.e not just tv dinners and eating out). Your home is your castle. This means you should pitch in with the housework. 4) Manage your finances. Do you have any sort of financial plan? Any plans for retirement? Do you know where your money is going every month? Thinking about money now can save you from being forced to think about it later. 5) Change your circle of influence. Are you hanging around people that are partying/drinking/hooking up on a whim? Do your friends berate you for wanting to act masculine? Are you hanging around men that will build you up, that actually care about the future? Are you hanging in the company of women that encourage casual sex, berate you, and don't want commitment? If you want life, don't hook up with leeches. Save yourself for the person you really wish to commit. Finally, I'll add this one. Fill your mind with stuff that will make you grow. Read the Bible. Listen to podcasts of people you admire. Read the old dead guys who are "out of fashion." Jordan Peterson is quite good to listen to.
Humility. Pop that massive ego of yours, ladies. Curiosity in and empathy for others. Cultivation of a spirit of cooperation. Accept reality, including rational thinking. Femininity. Including looks, temperament and knowledge.
OK ladies, Id like to add a perspective here. This will probably get some people upset, but i don't care, lol. I am a husband of 23 years to a wonderful woman and a father of a teenage daughter that one day wants to be a traditional wife. Here is some of the raw truth that I tell my daughter continually. If you're blessed enough to have a father in the home (bio or adopted/etc...) that loves you and is not harming you, then they are probably trying to raise you with some value. you should pay attention to what your father instructs as far as controlling yourself and how to apply yourself to life. Its a father's responsibility to raise their daughters in what their role in a relationship is from a man's perspective and what to expect from their future husbands, just as much as its our responsibility as a man to raise our sons to be good husbands and fathers. Men want peace in their homes more than anything else. If you disrupt a man's peace, then you aren't a good investment for a man. Yes, investment, I said it. MOST real men... don't want your money. When a prospective wife approaches the relationship like a man (trying to fill a man's role and/or compete like a man) it actually creates problems that most men will religiously avoid. The bottom line is that you are born with your value, a man generally needs to go and create his value before he is socially accepted as a provider. You should cherish your worth and only invest it into a man that deserves it. That means avoiding hook-up culture. The truth is, no man really wants to raise someone elses kids and doesn't want to waste resources on a woman that doesn't respect what he's asking for in a wife. Very few men will admit it because they don't want to create a drama session, but body count absolutely counts, no matter what any simp tells you face to face. If a man tells you that body count doesn't matter, is because he wants to be another one on that count, not because he wants to wife you.
Strangely enough, all five points work for guys too to make them more marriageable. Being able to cook for yourself and others is a valuable skill (he says, completely not mentioning everything else because guess what? Your fitness and health passes down to your children through the extra stuff carried in your sperm beyond what your genes bring (nature) and how you raise your children and the multiple multiple examples you set for them by being with them and your wife (nurture)).
One thing you should point out is that when you are younger like 18-19-20-21 there is going to be more leeway on how much you've learned. It is important of course to have the proper attitude and humble enough for change but you're not going to be expected to be completely put together by then. However if you are approaching 30 it is going to be MORE expected that you have many of these things down. If you haven't learned many of these things yet by the time you graduate highschool it might be worth NOT going to college to get these things figured out and resolved. I generally don't recommend college these days because of how expensive it is. Basically the time/cost analysis for whether you even should go to college should be if you can get a career that pays well enough to pay off your college debt in 3 years or less otherwise don't bother.
Rebecca thank u for this amasing video! U give directions to young women to maximize their ability to be good wives and have the best option on a man who will find a rare womaen with these characteristics u describe!
I have been with my wife 27 years. Her mom told her to keep his balls empty and his belly full. A little crass but so far so good. No complaints at all. Btw if I was single and found out my girlfriend was still on Tinder she would never get a ring.
@@RebeccaBarrett So, sex ( with love ) and food makes a man happy : ) This can be trivial , but it is the truth though. ^^ And men just have to be attractive and take care of them , not let them being fat or such.
Excellent tips in this video. You’re actually helping my MGTOW life with those cooking appliance suggestions.😆 By 2030 Forbes said that 45 percent of women will be single and childless. That’s the future of these 304’s, Boss B’s, and “I don’t need no Man” types. Going to be a dark future of boxed wine, SSRI’s, and the stench of rancid Cat litter poop from their multiple feral Cats.🤣
I watched your previous video reacting to @JustPearlyThings (who I also follow) schooling her guess. She's been getting unnecessary hate in my honest opinion even though we all know why I'm going to save this video I'm commenting under something to note. Thank you for it🙏🏾
while i will never get married as a man in the current culture and the legal liabilities that ensue, these general tips are a decent starting point for women that are looking for a man that may be willing to then see them as something more valuable than a pump and dump
You are spitting facts Rebecca, these days you will be called pick me, you did forget one thing take accountability, a guy will be more appreciative when a woman takes accountability and is honest with herself and her surroundings.
Hello! I would like to know that did you breastfeed your baby? Did fasting affeckt milk suply? I have been breastfeeding over a year now. And when my Child was small baby, 0-6 months, she only had milk. Then I was really hungry myself, so I ate. 300-600 more calories a day. And drink lots of water. Anyway I have 50pounds over weight, now Im trying to lose it little by little with noom. And Im still breastfeeding, my child wont stop. Maybe until she is 2 or 3.😅
TIMELINE👇
[00:00] Intro
[00:25] Preface
[00:55] Tip 1: Do The Self-Work
[04:14] Tip 2: Prepare Your Body
[07:10] Tip 3: Learn Domestic Skills
[09:12] Tip 4: Manage Your Finances
[11:03] Tip 5: Change Your Circle Of Influence
[13:21] Final Thoughts & Outro
You seem very kind, unfortunately the western women are a mess, they are bitter and won't listen to you.
If I were to date now, being married 30 years, I would recommend the items you mentioned, plus the following:
1. Humility - If you view yourself as a queen / know it all, then you will be extremely difficult to live with.
2. Charity - Love / Forgiveness. If you build a museum of your husband's past wrongs and take them on a tour every time you get upset, you will make life miserable for yourself and your husband.
3. Patience - Things take time to get better. A mortgage isn't paid off in a few years. One gets wise slower than one gets older. Be patient with your spouse and your children.
4. Thankfulness - be thankful for what you have and don't be looking for what others have. Work hard and pray hard and play.
5. Look for the Good in People -- especially for those in your family
6. Grace -- Give your family your best behavior, not your friends or your work
7 Faithfulness -- Don't cheat, even verbally or emotionally. Ever.
It is better to live in the corner of a roof then with a contentious wife -- Proverbs, don't know the chapter or verse. Don't be contentious.
Good luck! And the above applies for husbands as well.
Thank you for these additions!! These are so important as well
that is an outstanding list of additions to this video. i have been married nearly twenty years and the only reason why i have not left (physically) is because of my children. if she has not changed when the last is gone, she may as well look for a career. i am getting a yacht and sailing on.
@@gpnulife was she contentious earlier in the relationship or is this a recent development
It's Proverbs 21:9.
True
Some words of advice:
1. Be the type of person you want to attract. If you want someone who is in shape are you in shape? If you want someone giving are you giving?
2. Consider what do you bring to the table. Also what can you do for the other person not just what they can do for you. It is important this is reciprocal.
3. Make sure a guy says he wants a relationship not a "We will see what happens." Guys like that 99% do not have serious intention or serious intentions about you.
4. Work on assertive communication and if you don't know what that means look it up. For example instead of saying "I hate that you never do the dishes". You could say "I love when you help me with the dishes, it is such a relief."
5. Know that if a guy likes you, there will not be guessing.
6. Make sure you are on the same page if you want kids, find a guy who wants the same.
7. Find out if you have similar fundamental values and/or if you can be respectful and understand the other person's point of view.
8. Have hobbies, friends and a life outside of your partner. You can't expect one person to meet all your needs. Be interdependent not codependent with your significant others.
These are things that have helped me greatly. I am currently in the most healthy and happy relationship of my life.
Adding to your first point. The biggest mind set shift I personally had was to stop thinking selfishly. Instead of having thoughts of what my bf (now husband) could do or give me, I started thinking of what could I give or do for him. How can I make his life easier, happier, comfortable?
This selfless mind set also carried over when we decided to have our first baby. It was what made me realize I was ready to be a mom (the kind of mom I want to be).
I see a lot of women in relationships who can't let go of their old or single life even after having children as well.
I love this Liz! Great point, ladies take notes 📝
Yepp
Also one other huge tip if you’re Christian is to figure out what biblical wifehood looks like. This is a great time to study biblical womanhood by reading all the stories in the Bible about women. I have a huge list of references I can send to anyone who wants to start 💜
Yes yes yes 🙌 please add them for the girlies in the comments
THE INTRODUCTION of WOMAN
1. When was womanhood first introduced in scripture?
2. Why and by whom were we named “woman”?
3. What should we be to those around us?
4. What event in Genesis marked our influence as women?
Scripture List:
Genesis 2, 3, 17, 18
Our origin story begins as Adam was tending to the garden. God saw that as he was tending, there was not a “help meet” for Adam. So God made Adam an help me from a rib out of Adam's side. He put him into a deep sleep , took his rib out , and made Eve. When Adam arose, he said “this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: She shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.” (Genesis 2:20-23). Help meet comes from the Hebrew word azar ָע ַזר which means aid. So womanhood begins with being a Help or Aid. (This is a great note to take!). This was the reason God created us in the first place! So in our very DNA is the ability to be a help. Aid does not mean that everything is our responsibility but it does mean any instance where God instructs you to be involved requires you to be a help and not a hinderance. Aid also doesn’t mean that we are here to be used and abused! It means that with proper care and consideration, what we have has the ability to improve! Maybe some of us have not unlocked this ability as of yet but it is there! Evaluate what your presence brings. Does what you say and do promote help or does it worsen an environment? What does being a help meet look like In action with your family, friends, and/or spouse?
Shortly after our introduction, our influential nature was introduced. Most of us know the story of the garden and how Eve was deceived by the serpent in eating the fruit of the tree of life. A lot of preachers utilize this scripture to address disobedience (totally biblically supported). While reading this scripture I was shown the power of our influence. Eve brought the fruit to Adam after being deceived and although Adam knew the instruction of God, He still ate of the fruit. He listened to Eve even though he knew the instruction of the Lord. God even tells Adam that because he “hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, which I commanded thee, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life” (Genesis 3: 17). In that moment, Adam has place the word of God second to his wife’s word.
As a woman, we have the ability to influence our peers, spouse, etc. to do what we feel is right or in our best interests. That’s why is so importance to ensure that the desires of your heart are in line with God’s desire and will for our lives. Women have a responsibility to use our influence for God’s glory. Otherwise we will continuously make the same mistake as Eve
(being deceived and ending up being the source of demise for others). Think about your influence on your job or in your family. Do you uphold the principles of Holiness? Are you using the skills God has given you for God’s glory or your own personal gain?
Reflection Time!
Do you have a heart of helpfulness? Are you Utilizing your influence for God’s glory? What action items are you taking from this module?
Another great example of influence is Esther! Read her entire story! Jot down a few notes of how her influence created change.
HAVING A HEART THAT IS LEAD TO CHRIST Focus Questions:
1. Should we follow our heart? Why or why not?
2. What issue did Martha have with Mary? What was Jesus’s response to this situation?
3. What “heart-leading” choices do you need to make in order to have a heart of Christ?
Scripture List:
Jeremiah 17:9-10 Luke 10:38-41 John 1:12
Module 1 we discussed women being a help and using our influence for good. In this module we will discuss our heart. Our ability to be all of those things in module 1 is contingent upon how we LEAD our heart. There are many people who believe that following your heart is the way but I am learning that leading our heart is what God desires us to do. How do we know we should lead our hearts? The bible says in Jeremiah 17:9-10 that “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? the Lord search the heart, I try the reins, even to give every man according to his ways, and according to the fruit of his doings.” So why would we follow wickedness instead of leading it (our heart) to Christ to be made new?
We also see in John 1:12, we see that “as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name”. Being a believer of God is a choice that requires us to lead our hearts. In our hearts lie wickedness that doesn’t want to be saved or changed so we have to Lead our hearts in the way it should go. Leading our heart looks like staying prayerful, reading our word, and studying so that we know what God requires of us. It means making the choice daily to live for God no matter how people view us! Leading our heart isn’t just about our relationship choices! It’s about living a life that shows that we are TRANSFORMED through Christ.
Look at the instance with Mary and Martha. In Luke 10:38-41, Martha received Jesus and the disciples into her home. Mary, her sister came and sat at Jesus feet leaving Martha alone to serve. Verse 40 says that “Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? Bid her therefore that she help me.” Instead of Jesus telling Mary that she should get up and help her sister serve, He told Martha that what Mary had chosen to do was the right thing!
What can we learn from this scripture? Although Martha believed that she was in the right place doing the right thing, she was feeling burdened by the fact she had a lot of serving to do, she hadn’t checked her heart. Martha could’ve led her heart to serve alone without complaint or frustration. She could have also observed that Mary saw Jesus’s presence as a blessing and instead of condemning Mary, she could’ve been an encouraging factor in Mary lying at Jesus’s feet. Keep this heart check in mind if you desire to be married. What you do is
great but why you do it matters more. If you pray out of routine or habit, it will be less fruitful than if you lean in with Faith, expectation and an understanding that every encounter with God is not to be taken for granted. Ask yourself these questions: Am I leading my heart in the direction of righteous, love, virtue, and patience? Am I acting off of emotion instead of taking the time to remember who I am representing? Will my actions shine a positive light on Jesus Christ or have people questioning who I serve?
Link to a sermon by Pastor Julian E. Spires that I enjoyed during Women’s Weekend 2020 about Martha & Mary ruclips.net/video/r7rm-Kbu9zY/видео.html
Another Great Example of a heart that is Christ led is the story of Ruth! We all have heard about how Ruth came to be with Boaz BUT reread this story to understand her relationship with her mother-in-law Naomi!
The PROVERBS 31 Woman
1. What makes a woman virtuous according to scripture?
2. What character traits are present in this description of a virtuous woman?
3. What standards are we supposed to keep?
Scripture List:
Proverbs 18:22 Proverbs 31: 10-31 2 Corinthians 5:10
Proverbs 31 is the last module in this study because I see so many people quote these scriptures without studying what it really says. It seems that the only thing that we take away from this chapter is what it takes to be a wife. When in all honesty, this shows us the character traits necessary for life (as well as marriage and motherhood). We also can see in this chapter our potential shortcomings as women in Christ . What are the missing links that we have that prevent us from reaching our full potential? To be effective in marriage and motherhood, we need to have the character traits that align with the covenant! Marriage and Motherhood are both a MINISTRY. Meaning that it is important to be faithful and prayerful BEFORE entering into these covenants. Proverbs 31 houses a lot of great information but I want us to study from a SOBER place. So we are addressing these scriptures in terms of character traits.
Here are the list of some of the character traits outlined in this chapter:
The first trait we will address is our rarity & being an asset as seen in verse 10; where it says “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.” This verse shows us
that we as woman in Christ are assets when operating in virtue. In a world where man’s ideals of true womanhood seem to always oppose God’s word, be comforted in knowing that according to God, our modestly, hardworking, and God-fearing nature is VALUED. This may mean that at times people will think we are strange or “too deep” but always go back to the Word of God in 2 Corinthians 5:10 “For we must all appear before the judgement seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.” We all have a responsibility to take full responsibility for all we do, say and act in this body!
The Next trait we see is the hardworking nature of a virtuous woman. Many of the verses address the hardworking nature of a virtuous woman but one I wanted to highlight was verse 15. “She rises also while it is yet night, and gives me to her household, and a portion to her maidens”. This verse really outlines the importance of utilizing time wisely, being caring and responsible. Even in singleness we can practice our ability to rise early and get things done! This can look like exercising, early morning prayer, study time and even doing charitable work. The point is to ensure that we are using our time to really care for others and for ourselves. Establishing these habits early makes it easier to integrate others into your life.
As we go further into the scripture, we see how virtuous woman work with their hands creating (verses 13 and 14) and also have good discernment. Verse 16 states that “she considereth a field and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planted a vineyard”. We may not specifically be buying land right now but utilize this characteristic as a benchmark for other things. Have good discernment when it comes to forming relationships, saying “yes” or “no” to requests and even receiving advice. We have to be able to really be aware for the safety and success of our lives.
Virtuous women are favored. Favor rests in us as a result of our diligence, love, and character. Proverbs 18:22 verifies that with the scripture we all know “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” We uphold this scripture by being a great woman in the body of Christ before we get married, engaged or otherwise. The reality is that all of these character traits are practiced and perfected daily! No one wakes up being this level of caring, patient, kind, etc. This is learned behavior!
Chayil is the Greek word for virtue and is defined as having and showing high moral standards. So if we are to be virtuous in God’s eyes, we must show and have God’s standards. What are the standards of God? The entire Word of the Lord speaks to God’s standards! This is the challenge I have for you all as we conclude this study. Begin reading your bible daily. One chapter each day whether on your phone or your physical bible, READ. Be transformed by the word! Read about other women in Christ and all that they embodied!
TO DO:
Find where the other characteristics are found and find examples of women in the bible who exemplify these traits.
I really want to say THANK YOU for this. I know it took time for you but this really helped me and opened my eyes. God bless you and continue to be a vessel. Amen!
My wife candidate grading card that works without fail:
1. Fit
2. Feminine
3. Friendly
4. Frugal
5. Domestic skills
6. Virtuousness which includes body count
7. Quality of family and friends
8. Intelligence
9. Cooperativeness
10. Habits: Drinking, Drugs, Gambling, Social Media Use
11. Education and major
12. Looks
A woman who wants to be a wife candidate should max out the Top 10 stats she has control over. A man who is looking for a wife should pick the woman he can get with the highest score in the above.
I'm a guy. I subbed to your channel and binged your videos for several hours today. The most important thing I think you mentioned in this video is creating a peaceful home to come to. Seriously an underrated, and underappreaciated, factor of a family. Great stuff. I want to find a male RUclipsr who is a husband/father and makes content like this. 🔥🔥
Thank you so much. As a content creator that is one of the best compliments. I hope you do too. I really like Elliot hulse. I’m not sure if you’ve ever checked out his content but he is great!
Thanks so much for this, Rebecca! As a man in his 30s, I can attest to having dated women who were more interested in social media than cooking, who were more interested in their dogs than having children, and many other various experiences I could bring up. I brought some shit to the relationship, so it's not like I'm just solely playing the blame game here. I know I messed up in the past and should have been more aware of my bad habits and unattractive qualities. Thank you for showing women how to behave in a relationship, cause it seems to be unheard or not adhered to by quite a few ladies out there. Love your content!
Thank you! Trying to help these women
Yes I want to know more about OMAD!! I am a new wife, almost 3 years married and I am trying to be the best wife I can. I was raised to be an independent woman, so I am learning how to be a traditional wife. He is worth it. Thank you.
That’s amazing hun! I’m making that video, stay tuned
@@RebeccaBarrett i know this may seem odd, nut do you have an advice for men on how to be good husbands? and how does a man tell if the woman hes with is genuniely ready for marriage?
Thank you for speaking out about hormonal birth control. I have so many friends that got on the pill in their teens, and now in their late 20s and early 30s, they’re struggling for years to even get pregnant once. It’s so sad. There’s lots of good info in books like Beyond the Pill as well.
Your videos have been so helpful in my feminine journey, and I recently got engaged! I’ll keep working on to be the best wife I can be for my fiancé!
I would also add to the "self-work" category doing some personal research into child development, healthy/unhealthy parenting styles, child-to-caregiver attachment styles, conflict management, even good debate etiquette and how to respect differences. Some things along those lines.
as someone who was raised by a single father, thank youu!!! didn't have a woman in my home growin up, this is gold
Honestly all really good advice. Sphere of influence is a big one. I know I had to back away from those sorts of friends when I realized I couldn’t deal with the nonsense of casual relationships and hookup culture anymore. All my friends are basically married/moms now and I’m the single girl who never parties, stays home to garden and bake, etc 😂
Love you!! 💜💜
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS!!
I have been working in being femenine and how to be a wif, cause it is difficult right now to find a roke model near me.
And when I was looking for femine content, there was about physical things and non Christian mentality itself.
Thank you.
Much blessings for your beautiful family💜💜💜
This makes me so happy! I’m glad you found the video helpful
@@RebeccaBarrett
Thank you💜
English is not my first language, forget my bad grammar, please😂
Also ladies don't do all of those just to get the ring. Do it because that who you want to be
Yes exactly Shara
I wish I had watched this video before I got married 😂 my husband has been so patient with me as I've been learning how to be a good wife. I've come a long way!! Hahaha
This is fantastic advice, Rebecca. Thank you!
I was raised by a boss babe mom who truly emasculated my dad in many ways. Yet, my traditional Caribbean grandparents have been married for 50 years. My grandmother and my mentors are all married women who guide me through life and into the path of marriage.
My current suitor has given me a promise ring and plans to ask my father for my hand in marriage next month. I’m nervous yet feeling prepared at the same time…
Based on your video, I’m doing the work and will continue to do better.
Very good points, Rebecca. Absolutely spot on.
It trips me out how these modern females (because they're not women) get upset that men want them to cook and clean--only forgetting that domestic skills are a HUGE part of being a wife. I recall a time in college, and I was a part of an organization for which we held a potluck meal. While I brought in my pan of homemade baked mac and cheese (yes, I cooked in college) , another young lady brought in either plates or napkins and snickered at the fact that she couldn't cook. I was flabbergasted, and we were in our early 20's...in the 90's! If this was something in college, I could only imagine how things are right now.
You are so spot on. On the financial part, In the past many years ago I passed over a lot of women with large credit card debts (aka: unsustainable and out of control). I'd generally find that out on the 2nd or 3rd date where I'm still 'vetting' them. However, I later would get a lot of 'boasting' from dates about getting or completing a degree on these dates and me failing do vetting on the 'student debt' itself. I found it was a 'touchy' subject to 'vet' on as where my date would 'beam with pride' whereas I was concerned about finding out how much debt she was accumulating and how many years she had to pay that off (aka: how many years before she'd be in a marriageable position without me eating that debt prematurely just to 'wife her up'). For me, a large amount of 'debt' is a poison pill even if she checks off all the other boxes. These days, I hear 'degree' and I think 'debt' but fortunately, I already have family and warn my daughter to 'stay out of the debt trap'.
Yes to video on OMAD!! Could you also talk about your eating habits while you were pregnant? I’m used to doing intermittent fasting but now that I’m pregnant my eating window has expanded a lot and I’m worried about putting on a ton of weight (beyond the healthy baby weight gain)
Yes, I can definitely make that video. I was fasting for years before I got pregnant. Pregnancy was difficult for me too because I was used to a short eating window. I can definitely add that to my video
I almost fell out of my chair at personal accountability! That's hilarious.
Well done Rebecca. This Top 5 is spot on, top tier advice for women that are interested in marriage. Women should ensure that they are working to develop the skills, traits, and situational realities related to these. And men should be looking to ensure that any woman that they are considering as wife material has these elements in place - and also of course meeting their men's half of the success in marriage criteria.
🙏🙏🙏
Being a wife is a mind set change. Amen.
Thank you Rebecca for this vidéo !!❤ you don’t know how your advices helped me
I’m so happy to hear that ❤
Oh my goodness, I just found you and I cannot believe how much truth you speak! It's amazing work that you do, I have been married for 10 years now with a baby on the way and I can tell you that all of what you said is true! You want a happy life with a good husband? Stop pretending to be the queen of a broken castle and be the princess of a thriving kingdom! That way, prince charming is going to come around and snatch you up!
Thank you so much! Welcome to my channel, im glad you’re here
BRO! I've been on OMAD 22/2 protocol since March of this year. Lost 56 pounds 213 to 155!!! Eat whole foods organic, get rid of the seed oils and processed sugars and foods. Max calories 2200!!!
I lost it when she used the word 304s😂
🤣🤣🤣
Proof reading is so important, children.😂😂
Excellent advice! (I'm an old married woman, married 29 years and this was excellent advice!)
I'm definitely working on me! Domestic Violence survivor here.... so, therefore, divorced. Learning what opened up the way for the ex to find a place in my heart before brain engaged... and praying (if God wills) to be the best wife he could've imagined or better, for another man, if I do remarry... I do have 2 boys from the ex, but I have sole custody. So, in many ways, I need a good man to help show them how to be good men! Anyways, thanks for the tips! A favorite statement of mine: "The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement!"
I am gonna show my teen daughter this. Great content you have
Biggest thing I learned to avoid feeling like a burden on my husband was to keep myself busy with chores. What can I be doing that’s beneficial to the household while my husband is at work?
After inhabitating this planet for over half a century I can say from my own observations that the men that are married to women who take just half the excellent advice from Mrs. Barett to heart are almost worshipping their women. They desire them deeply, even after decades as a married couple, they respect them, love them, protect them, satisfy them, give them access to all rescources they posess, and in many instances will go through fire to keep them safe. I cant speak for any women, but that doesnt sound to bad of a deal. Those women who make an effort to become excellent wifes recieve even more than they have to give.... Food for thought.
Its like excercise. We stress our body and give it uncomfort in the now, to harvest strength, agility and health in the long run.
I’m glad I didn’t marry a man who wants me to stay home all weekend. I obviously don’t participate in hookup culture but I’m glad he didn’t try to make me a homebody when I’m not.
Hey Rebecca, haven't stopped by your channel in a min. Watching all your vids that I haven't seen ☺️ love the content! 🤍✌🏼
Thank you so much!! Ya I’ve been in trouble with RUclips 🤣
@@RebeccaBarrett oh no! 😂 Well, RUclips can't take ya down! We like you too much ☺️
Loved the video! I am grateful my boyfriend and hopefully soon to be fiancé knows how to cook. I learned how to “survivally cook” as I like to say since my parents were too busy at some moment in their lives to teach me but he is great at making meals and I’m learning from him. Otherwise I’ve been able to learn a lot of domestic skills from just being an only child for most of my life and again since my parents were busy and taught me to be self sufficient.
Married 25 years,,,,my kids are 18 and over now. I was a party animal, been on my own at 14. I wanted family and that was what I looked for when dating. Before 18 I was messing with 30 yr olds. I was going to marry a woman older than me. Luckily, I found out she was damaged beyond repair. 4 years later I married a woman my age. 25 yrs later, couldn't be happier. Listen to this woman
Wow! What an excellent presentation Rebecca. Very good advice. Not only is it helpful for young women, but it is helpful for young men too. Stay blessed. 👏🙏🙏🙏
If you put your man first, remarkably, he will put you first. Just to remind you, it is not a competition.
Know your stuff, so the man is proud to introduce you to his family and work colleagues.
And that he will trust you with his children and household.
Oh, Rebecca. Thank you very much. For you made my Christmas👌👌 The message is very clear. Hope all my sisters out there have ears (to hear)
Been married 22 years. Great video!
Great video. There is something very important that isn't addressed here. I would put it at 0 on your lost as it permeates through your 5 points.
Learning how to Show Respect.
Learning how to show your husband respect after being raised in a world that emphasizes disrespecting men is going to be extremely difficult for todays and tomorrows women.
The ONLY remaining example for this is if you are one of the lucky few who had mothers that speak of and treats their husband with a high regard of respect and gratitude.
There is little to no social narratives that remind women of the 2nd most important thing a man wants from his wife.
So, I can attest to all of these. When I met my wife 6 years ago:
She was in a dnd group with mostly married couples. She got me into it and we were the only single people there.
She wasn’t going out to bars as she doesn’t drink, and we still don’t drink
She wasn’t hooking up
She had healthy lifestyle
She had control of her finances and has amazing credit. She even helped me get my student loans to finish school after we got married
She knew how to cook and clean, and notably changed her Arsenal to accommodate my sudden allergy to gluten.
She learned the hard way earlier that the top crop of men don’t want her. Shes the type that makes cookies for crushes. She tried in high school to please a crush and he flat rejected her for not being hot enough. Now she has an inherent distrust of successful good looking men. It’s served her well.
I am on the subscriber team 😎🎉
My wife and her friend are like "Night and Day" when it comes to being wife material. My wife's friend constantly want to go out, drink and go to social gatherings whenever she wasnt working that day. Unfortunately, me and the wife has witnessed our friend's engagement fall apart right before our very eyes on Facebook & Tiktok and they constantly invite us to Double Date, while me and the wife know we are only invited to entertain them. 🤣
They officially broke up last week and we weren't really surprised, because she wasnt ready to settle down since she lost the weight and was going to settle with her Fiancee. 😑
Oh man, yea that’s no good.
It's funny, I don't plan on marrying anymore (sadly) and I was still curious to watch this.
Hey I have a question. I has my 2nd baby 7 months ago, with my first the weight came off in a couple of weeks, with the 2nd I just lost it all after 7 months. I want to lose additional weight still and have considered fasting, but I have also read that one shouldn't "diet" while nursing because it negatively impacts milk supply. What did you do to negate that? I'm concerned I might experience a drop and might not be able to provide for my baby
I just uploaded this one about my weight loss
ruclips.net/video/o4eekGGHbkk/видео.html
Excellent information!!! Keep up the good work!!!
Rebecca: all good points but a man has to be responsible too Even when i was in college i never let my mother do my clothes, I can operate a washing machine too. And girls appreciated when coming over a man with no dirty dishes in the sink or on the couch and made it more romantic and easier to get a woman excited... know what i mean???
perfectly said sir
Tell em Becca!
I usually agree with a great majority of what you say Rebecca...here you have nailed it, 100% girl. Please keep your great important work. Good luck to you, and your family...Mark Williams
My wife of 33 yrs and i have a deal...she handles the cleaning and i cook...she can cook pretty well but i enjoy it and I am definitely a better cook
When we were old enough my mum told me & my sister her 3 secret rules for a successful & happy marriage. We can only pass on the rules to our daughters if we have any & the man can never know the rules. Of course I can't tell you what they are but as they say 'mum's always right' 😊
this video is true gold !!!
Thank you 🙏
Great advice Rebecca, a lot of women need to know this information
Rebecca is the type of woman that should be properly going after the top 20% man she is the definition of a bad "B" !!! Cuz all these women think about I have to have a bad body and all the stuff done I got to have money no it starts with your mindset and how you treat your body and how calm you are I would love to come home to a woman like her every single day Big ups to you!!!
For all the young women that think there are not other women who are older and have learned lessons in this arena, you are mistaken. I don't have children and would be so glad to be your surrogate auntie. There are ladies like me, but as Rebecca just said, you have to go to church or seek out a family member. This is wise counsel.
fasting; eating one meal a day is essential!! our bodies are NOT made to eat 3 huge meals a day or eating all day, horrible for your digestive system too.
easy-- be attractive/ fit, clean, cook, and regular sex. not very hard ladies
great video rebecca per usual 👏🏽💗
Yes!! My body feels so much better! I’m glad you enjoyed the video
@@RebeccaBarrett 💗
Depends on the person 😊 My health and hormones and sleep has dramatically improved eating the pro metabolic way, every 2-3 hrs with a focus on protein. Fasting can be detrimental to fertility also for women.
@@ShortGirlsClimbCounters the exception doesn't make the rule. if someone has a certain reason to eat at specific times then that's what they should do, i was clearly speaking in generalities. if you're going to make statements like "fasting causes infertility" you should back up/site your claims, because that's simply not true; you can't just believe everything you see on the internet, people should do their own research and find what works best for them.
@@morrggss_ hard to back something up on youtube. There are thousands of women out there that did fasting/keto/restrictive diets for years that felt great at first, then went down hill. Look into "women are not small men".
Thank you!
Far too many times women want and hassle or harass men about getting married buy they refuse to take stalk of themselves FIRST before even raising the subject of marriage.
You hit the nail on the head when you talked about cleanliness, cooking, eat out, spending or shopping addictions.
They chose to ignore all these BUT your man is watching 👀 you, then you always wonder why he won't marry you. It doesn't matter if you get a lot of looks from other men, a man that you want to spend your life with looks at those things and PAST YOUR LOOKS.
Thank you for making this video!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻
Couldn't agree with this more 💯
Oi! Where do we find more gals like you? You're doing good work 👏 gonna share this with my girlies
Thanks for this video! It is so helpful to have concrete goals.
Also, you mentioned doing a video on fasting. I hope you get the chance to, as I would definitely watch it😊
I’m so happy you liked it! Yes, I can definitely make that video
Sound advice, agreed i dont like gyms , i have never worked out in a gym , but i lost a 100 points, by walking ( gentle walk ) and diet changes. , it took time but it worked, and cut alcohol. Drank more water , the weigh fell of me , and i didn't really stop eating anything , just changed portion size , like yes you can have that chocolate cake or whatever, but after you have finished your chores or whatever you have been putting off
Great job Shane 👏👏👏 yeah I’m not a fan of working out so walking has helped me tremendously
@@RebeccaBarrett yes me too , i live by a small river, i walk everyday, watch the birds and swans , and there are benches along the path , you can sit down, read watch the scenery, and then walk again if your tired, the fresh air is great . Very peaceful.
The mindset is extremely important. Too many people (men and women) don’t think of life as a partnership with others, always putting their feelings and expectations ahead of contributions to any relationship. It is often said that marriage is a 60/60 deal. If your contributions are anywhere near equal, you probably feel that you are doing more than your partner. This is purely human nature that must be suppressed to be successful in any relationship. People tend to over value their contribution and under value (or just be plain oblivious to) contributions from their partner. You have to develop a “we and us” mindset and avoid the “me and them
These are great advices.
Thank you 🙏
Ive been married for 3 years now and I've had to un-learn so many toxic, feminist habits that I didn't know I had! Through my marriage God has taught me to submit to my husband, to compromise and to serve instead of being catered to like the princess I thought I was. Surprisingly when you choose to serve your husband he begins to dote on you, he falls deeper in love and you get treated like a princess. Marriage isn't 50/50 it's 100/100. Each one of you gives all of you because your one flesh now.
Rebecca you coming for me miss girl 😂😂😂😂😂
be humble, be submissive, be loving, be kind, be generous, be hard working....
please make the omad video! i do omad but over several hours, plus dirty fasting (tiny snacks)
#6
women should ask themselves am I an asset or a liability?
Which side or the balance sheet a woman is on is important to most men. Women who have 200 dollar haircuts and 75 dollar nails and 500 dollar purses etc. might look good. And might be fun for a week or so but the maintenance costs are something most men think about. So as a woman is important to think about the cost vs benefit analysts most men will do.
Excellent video!!
Here is the list, but adapted for men:
1) Analyze yourself.
What are your habits? How does your room/apartment/house look? Can you maintain your own private space? How is your health (eating habits, working out, mental health)?
Everyone has a routine, whether good or bad. What is your routine?
2) Prepare your body. If you're going to become a dad, your health has an impact on your child's genetics. Think of the overall health of your child stemming from a single snapshot in time of your health when they're conceived. Nuff said
3) Learn trade skills/domestic skills. What sort of skills can you use to provide for your family? Work at it, and become so good at it that nobody can ignore you. Also, you shouldn't be completely helpless without a wife. You should be able to get by on your cooking (doesn't need to be fancy, but should be relatively healthy i.e not just tv dinners and eating out). Your home is your castle. This means you should pitch in with the housework.
4) Manage your finances. Do you have any sort of financial plan? Any plans for retirement? Do you know where your money is going every month? Thinking about money now can save you from being forced to think about it later.
5) Change your circle of influence. Are you hanging around people that are partying/drinking/hooking up on a whim? Do your friends berate you for wanting to act masculine? Are you hanging around men that will build you up, that actually care about the future? Are you hanging in the company of women that encourage casual sex, berate you, and don't want commitment? If you want life, don't hook up with leeches. Save yourself for the person you really wish to commit.
Finally, I'll add this one. Fill your mind with stuff that will make you grow. Read the Bible. Listen to podcasts of people you admire. Read the old dead guys who are "out of fashion." Jordan Peterson is quite good to listen to.
Humility. Pop that massive ego of yours, ladies.
Curiosity in and empathy for others.
Cultivation of a spirit of cooperation.
Accept reality, including rational thinking.
Femininity. Including looks, temperament and knowledge.
100% correct 👑❤🏆
OK ladies, Id like to add a perspective here. This will probably get some people upset, but i don't care, lol. I am a husband of 23 years to a wonderful woman and a father of a teenage daughter that one day wants to be a traditional wife. Here is some of the raw truth that I tell my daughter continually. If you're blessed enough to have a father in the home (bio or adopted/etc...) that loves you and is not harming you, then they are probably trying to raise you with some value. you should pay attention to what your father instructs as far as controlling yourself and how to apply yourself to life. Its a father's responsibility to raise their daughters in what their role in a relationship is from a man's perspective and what to expect from their future husbands, just as much as its our responsibility as a man to raise our sons to be good husbands and fathers. Men want peace in their homes more than anything else. If you disrupt a man's peace, then you aren't a good investment for a man. Yes, investment, I said it. MOST real men... don't want your money. When a prospective wife approaches the relationship like a man (trying to fill a man's role and/or compete like a man) it actually creates problems that most men will religiously avoid. The bottom line is that you are born with your value, a man generally needs to go and create his value before he is socially accepted as a provider. You should cherish your worth and only invest it into a man that deserves it. That means avoiding hook-up culture. The truth is, no man really wants to raise someone elses kids and doesn't want to waste resources on a woman that doesn't respect what he's asking for in a wife. Very few men will admit it because they don't want to create a drama session, but body count absolutely counts, no matter what any simp tells you face to face. If a man tells you that body count doesn't matter, is because he wants to be another one on that count, not because he wants to wife you.
Beautiful video, thank you🙏
Strangely enough, all five points work for guys too to make them more marriageable. Being able to cook for yourself and others is a valuable skill (he says, completely not mentioning everything else because guess what? Your fitness and health passes down to your children through the extra stuff carried in your sperm beyond what your genes bring (nature) and how you raise your children and the multiple multiple examples you set for them by being with them and your wife (nurture)).
Forget wifey, modern wamen don’t even want to be steady girlfriends.
😳😂
Thanks rebecca. Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving.
Thank you Shane I appreciate that. Idk if you celebrated thanksgiving but if you did I hope you had a good one too
@@RebeccaBarrett no we dont ,but we do the same thing on Christmas day, Turkey family family ect .
One thing you should point out is that when you are younger like 18-19-20-21 there is going to be more leeway on how much you've learned. It is important of course to have the proper attitude and humble enough for change but you're not going to be expected to be completely put together by then. However if you are approaching 30 it is going to be MORE expected that you have many of these things down.
If you haven't learned many of these things yet by the time you graduate highschool it might be worth NOT going to college to get these things figured out and resolved. I generally don't recommend college these days because of how expensive it is. Basically the time/cost analysis for whether you even should go to college should be if you can get a career that pays well enough to pay off your college debt in 3 years or less otherwise don't bother.
You’re awesome ❤!
Rebecca thank u for this amasing video! U give directions to young women to maximize their ability to be good wives and have the best option on a man who will find a rare womaen with these characteristics u describe!
I have been with my wife 27 years. Her mom told her to keep his balls empty and his belly full. A little crass but so far so good. No complaints at all. Btw if I was single and found out my girlfriend was still on Tinder she would never get a ring.
Dang her mom was dropping bars 🤣 I can’t quite say that in a video but yea that’s pretty much it
@@RebeccaBarrett So, sex ( with love ) and food makes a man happy : )
This can be trivial , but it is the truth though. ^^
And men just have to be attractive and take care of them , not let them being fat or such.
Thank you for making this video (:
Of course 💕
Speaking of debt, lots of people are in debt from purchasing stuff they cannot afford.
I don't know why I'm watching this. Maybe deep down I always wanted to be a wife.
🤣🤣🤣
what's your body count ?
With a few very minor modifications, this could also be "How To Prepare To Be A Husband."
Excellent tips in this video. You’re actually helping my MGTOW life with those cooking appliance suggestions.😆 By 2030 Forbes said that 45 percent of women will be single and childless. That’s the future of these 304’s, Boss B’s, and “I don’t need no Man” types. Going to be a dark future of boxed wine, SSRI’s, and the stench of rancid Cat litter poop from their multiple feral Cats.🤣
🤣🤣🤣 glad these tips could help the men out too
Thank you 🙏
Você é bastante corajosa de falar esse tipo de coisa nos EUA. Parabéns. Deus abençoe você e sua família.
I watched your previous video reacting to @JustPearlyThings (who I also follow) schooling her guess. She's been getting unnecessary hate in my honest opinion even though we all know why
I'm going to save this video I'm commenting under something to note. Thank you for it🙏🏾
Thank you so much! Yes, send it those women in your life
@@RebeccaBarrett I'm not so sure about that. I'll send it to whoever will be my wife when I get married hopefully 🤷🏾♂️
Cooking is a basic survival skill, and the fact some people can’t cook a simple meal is baffling.
I know 🤦🏻♀️
The Beatles. ( dont bring me down ) good song . ( friends)
while i will never get married as a man in the current culture and the legal liabilities that ensue, these general tips are a decent starting point for women that are looking for a man that may be willing to then see them as something more valuable than a pump and dump
Yay, I got this!
👏👏👏
You are spitting facts Rebecca, these days you will be called pick me, you did forget one thing take accountability, a guy will be more appreciative when a woman takes accountability and is honest with herself and her surroundings.
I’m trying to help the ladies out here! Hopefully some will take heed
Thank you very much
Hello! I would like to know that did you breastfeed your baby? Did fasting affeckt milk suply? I have been breastfeeding over a year now. And when my Child was small baby, 0-6 months, she only had milk. Then I was really hungry myself, so I ate. 300-600 more calories a day. And drink lots of water. Anyway I have 50pounds over weight, now Im trying to lose it little by little with noom. And Im still breastfeeding, my child wont stop. Maybe until she is 2 or 3.😅