The Real Reason Why Men Want to Have Sex
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- I'm pretty certain that a vast percentage of women have a misunderstanding about what their husband's motivation is to have sex which can cause challenges in the intimacy department.
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It's far more lonely and more difficult to be in a committed relationship without the connection and intimacy from sex than you could ever feel simply being single and alone.
true..........
True, because my failure (non connected intimacy w spouse) is right there in my face every day.
💯
Said like only a single person could say it 😂
It astounds how ridiculous are all the explanation woman give at arriving to sex. All they say to avoid ignore or scape away from it. They turn and turn and speak and speak. No way
Speaking as a faithful husband for 23 years yes sex is a need and a feeling of keeping that connection with my wife. And as I explained to her sex is the one thing a husband can’t get anywhere else (and remain faithful). And to be told no and rejected frequently is more painful than she would ever understand
Forced celibacy is not an act of love.
Moreover, if it's a physical need that you can help with, why the hell wouldn't you want to help? Imagine a husband refusing to feed his wife because hunger is "a purely physical need." That's insanity.
If shes in menopause sex can be painful for her due to hormone problems. A lot of women need hormone therapy for that stage in life. Also...maybe theres something that she doesnt like in the sex shes not telling you. Communication is the solution. The problem is it might take time and work to make her open up and tell you what she feels.
@@etcwhatever She says she just changed and now does not like it and has no interest. Some complex PTSD, Prozac and perimenopause issues combining. we have discussed at length and are at least going to counseling soon.
@@melkerner makes sense. Hope it all goes well and that you both can feel accomplished in the marriage 🙏🙏🙏
The question isn't "why do men want to have sex". The real question is, why get married and not want to be intimate with your spouse?
And Bingo was his name-O
Yep. Imagine treating sex with the love of your life like it's a unimportant chore, rather than something to look forward to.
Yes the normal is to want do it. But disrespect and incompetence in sex can kill female libido. So make sure to treat her right outside and inside the bedroom.
Just like some people like certain activities or certain foods and other don't, some people like having sex while others don't. Even people who do not want to have sex (for pleasure) can get married for other reasons like having children, having a friend close by at all times and so on. What's important is that before getting married (and especially before deciding to have children) both partners make sure they want the same amount of sex, otherwise it could turn ugly.
Better question. Outside of religion, why get married?
As a man, I didn’t learn until later in life that there was more to my sex drive than the physical aspect. This made my wife’s constant rejection and accusations of being a “sex maniac” (“Is that all you ever think about?”) more hurtful. I tried to tell her innumerable times, but she learned too late.
A man must have multiple women to keep him busy with his hips 👀😁😅🔥🔥❤️❤️
its really not because a hand is not a spiritual connection with another consciousness which loves you and cares for you deeply. To say 'you have a hand' signals your heart is black and cold as ice. @elizabeetle13
@elizabeetle13 I don't know if it's superb sarcasm or salty words of one very disgusting and ignorant woman.
@ elizabeetle13
Guessing you didn't watch thr video and jumped straight to the comments.
Even then your statement is factually wrong.
@elizabeetle13 You are whack. Masturbation is far worse than sex.
Sex IS a physical need for men. Kinda like being hungry is a physical need. Do you want someone you love to go hungry? If your partner refused to let you eat for a few days every week would that make you feel loved? How is this hard to understand?
You seem to totally miss the point here.
The aspect of men and sex that this lady is talking about is that sex for men is also an important emotional connection for men, so much so (and she does make this point also) that the emotional connection that sex brings may be even more important to men than for women!
This could explain why men are statistically more faithful in relationships than women.
You de without food.No one dies without sex,So stop comparing.
@@imaneassi "So let them be hungry." Marie Antoinette.
Again I'm talking about the claim that sex is a vital
need" @@reason2463
@@imaneassi Hmmmm... Well, depression and loneliness kills, so maybe it's a bit more nuanced than you would like to let on.
Sex is a thing that both women and men need. I never ever thought it was purely physical. It connects you with each other and you are as close physically to your spouse as you will ever be. It releases tension and anxiety in your body that no other type of contact with your spouse can do. Yes, it’s physical but more importantly it connects you emotionally in so many ways.
Women just don't get the connection that sex brings. I am sure the women deprived of sex by their husbands feel exactly the same.
Need? If we didn't have it (Sex) would we die? We definitely need to breath & Eat.
@@worldview730Yes. No sex equals no more humans.
Good comment 👍
Women are more evolved than men in that aspect. We don’t NEED sex. The only reason we bother having sex is because our bodies tell us we need to reproduce. We can connect with each other without sex because we’re more emotionally in tune with ourselves.
Yep. And when a man stops wanting sex with his wife, it's because he no longer desires to be close to her. More often than not, it has more to do with how she has treated him - because of the disrespect she has shown him.
Men sometimes stop having sex with their Wife when having an affair.
Some cheaters think they don’t want to have sex with both in the same time frame since they’d be even more of a low life than they already are by cheating.
TWISTED.
@@user-ex3mx7hk4lbecause it's better than bad or no sex at home.
Yes.
So true in my case. Too late, don't want sex with her. I don't think of her any longer as a wife. I am her caregiver not really a husband anymore. I will fulfill that responsibility, that's all.
True. True.
Intimacy is the only thing that separates a relationship from a friendship.
I heard a wife complain that "the only reason he want to have sex with me is because we are married and I am the only one he can have sex with." I thought this was a horrible way to consider a man's marriage vow to, "keep only unto her," as an insult and a trap.
There is a term for such women: divorced.
Far too many women these days ‘forget’ that they ALSO made a vow…that they will never withhold sex from their husbands. Many women use sex as a bargaining tool and that is 100% WRONG. We’ve been MARRIED 45 years and have had our share of difficulties along the way. We’ve had to go to marriage counseling a-few times but the most effective advice is in the Bible. I am a strong person from a tough background and I had to learn that it is not an ‘option’ to refuse my spouse as it is not an ‘option’ for him to seek other women, pornography or anything else. I understood that if I closed that door it opened those doors for him to leave the marriage. So I told him I would never refuse him but that he just had to give me a day or two to get ready emotionally and physically so I could also enjoy it. That’s a very key concept that vast majority of women (and men) fail to understand and embrace. It helps a great deal to get through tough times while seeking to solve the problems that have arisen.
@@gailfagan7579As a long time married man I ask with never a demand. I want her to have a good time and I work at that. Sometimes even that is a struggle. I am not sure if she is into it and that hurts. I think it has everything to do with how we are wired. As a man I look at my wife and see something like great art or a banquet to a starving man. To my wife, she looks in the mirror and sees nothing but flaws. I believe that I become some want of a pervert in her eyes. "How can he find me attractive looking like I know I do?" I think it is a struggle of acceptance and self-image.
@@JR-bj3uf I can understand the mindset of your wife. We grew up in an age of impossible beauty standards for most women. Those decades of trying to diet, exercise and all was a kind of psy-op to encourage women to buy buy buy whatever diet, pills, etc was on TV.
I’m a plus size woman and we’ve been very active ver the years and now as a senior, I do not like what I see in the mirror. I’ve made the decision lately to put some make up on, bought some new clothes and I do feel better because I look better. That said I am modest and that’s not a bad thing. My husband is a great husband but kind of passive, so I’ve been asking him to be more active around arranging date activities, being a bit more romantic, etc. He’s trying. At this age we both must be deliberate and I’ve had to improve my own attitude. I know I would not be able to keep my home up, my horse cared for, our big dog walked and so many things he does to make my life easier. I think gratitude, mindfulness and thankfulness is a habit that can be learned. I also referred my husband to a mens counseling and support organization I found on RUclips. He needs men in his life. His dad was silent, worked, drank. He had a covertly dominant mother and I’m quite outgoing and strong as well. Anyway the channel is Good Guys 2 Great Men. They have paid online and zoom sessions, books for ordinary men to “find their mojo” “reclaim your balls” and become a leader in your marriage. I’m hopeful they will help him get more assertive, more confident. Life’s getting too short and we want a better life together. Hope that helps.
@@JR-bj3uf I also wanted to mention that I use Rx HRT estrogen patches. As a post menopausal woman, that replaces what I used to produce naturally. I use it to keep my body looking and feeling ‘normal’ as in my 40’s. I do find it helps improve my libido, keeps my female parts healthy and stretchy. She could ask her doctor and try it for a few months. She might be surprised at the difference it makes. Also, you could get out to an adult store and make sure she has a buzzy toy or two for her own pleasure if she doesn’t have any. Makes life much easier for both of you. Just sayin’. 😇
Women often feel it’s okay to deny mens sexual needs, but fail to think how they would fell if their husbands acted annoyed and put out talking to them…like it was a burden. Or, when they wanted to talk, their husband said okay, let’s get this over with then gave one and two word answers. They would get frustrated and angry real quick. I find it strange they can’t see the hypocrisy in denying their husband his need for sexual intimacy while insisting he fulfill her need for conversational intimacy.
I pay attention to my wife when she wants to talk... sometimes she's not in the mood for my desires... but when I give her some advance notice of my intent or catch her with the right moves at the right time... I'll call it even😊 maybe I just married well😁
@elizabeetle13Why are you even here? From the comments you have thrown around in this comment section, it seems like someone has hurt you, and has made you "black pilled". Sex can be good, not all men are bad. You'd do yourself a massive favour if you removed yourself away from redpill/man hating videos for a while. (this one is actually a good video if you can actually follow her point of view)
@elizabeetle13Maybe it's you, sweetheart. Maybe you're a horrible partner.
@elizabeetle13 men fear Gossip from females as they live on all types off phones.- land-lines/// cell-phones
So men are suppose to get sex and women get conversation? You are way off base. Women need a good orgasm!! You are a very lost man
Just to say, for years I thought there was something missing in my life and automatically presumed it was sex, but just recently it occurred to me there's something which while it's closely intertwined with sex is far more important and sex is just a part of it.
What it is, is Intimacy.
I believe both men and women need intimacy, and a lot of the time we don't realise it.
You are correct.
That's an added luxury
Yes. Usually when we think sex is what’s missing, it’s just the surface level… side effect. We miss being permitted to *see* our wives.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
This hits home for me. Maybe this is one video my wife won’t get offended by. Sex is really the way I LOVE LOVE LOVE my gorgeous wife. My wife says “intercourse is really the whole purpose in sex”. No. Making love is Christmas or the 4th of July. Opening presents and the Grande Finale is fun, but it’s everything that leads up to it that connects me to her heart ❤️
You're fucking awesome! If she doesn't get it, eventually, fear not! Some other lucky lady WILL.
If we couldn't think, would we even be having this conversation?
What a simp
@@BodilessVoice
If the Wife doesn’t get it maybe men should be patient & loving in helping her understand instead of dumping her with a replacement.
This statement is heartless.
Did you actually MEAN your wedding vows -
or did you lie at the altar?
God knows the intentions of your heart, Dude.
💕
I would have a heart to heart with her. Seriously. She doesn't know her body and communicating what she likes. This is woman speak for foreplay sucks and I do not know how to fix it but I love you so sex is good enough. If she has not turned 40 there is hope. After 40 she is going to hit a high sex drive and won't know what to do with herself.
The craziest thing about marriage is that message from some wifes "sex is not important, and I'm not gonna have it with husband". But when the husband agrees and goes bang someone who thinks sex is important or at least not bad, they get mad. Why? You didn't want sex anyway, and the man found a way not to bother you with it, you should be happy... According to pure logic 😆
In countries where legal, beautiful "providers" start at about $40.00, there are NO such wives. Truly.
@@BodilessVoice What countries?
asking for a friend
@@slatsgrobneck7515Australia
@@slatsgrobneck7515😂
They get angry when you actually do it (I don’t recommend it) because the other woman will take her resource away.
If I show this to my wife I will be accused as "controlling"...that's why it broke my heart to hear it from a woman. I've been telling my wife these exact words for 2 years
1) Explain to your wife in a loving and calm way that your 'differing' experiences/desires about sex are making you feel lonely and resentful. 2) Explain to your wife that you have chosen HER to be the one and only woman to fulfil your needs, because you love her. 3) Ask your wife what would make HER feel amazing as wife...this is normally OUTSIDE the bedroom but makes all the difference to a woman. You might need to cook twice a week, listen to her better, or take her out on a date once a week, buy her a random gift every few weeks, make sure you are clean/showered/shaven 4) Ask her preferences IN the in the bedroom?? e.g. head/back/shoulder/foot massage. Let her know that you want it to be TWO-way, not just one way. 4) Make sure your wife is pleasured FIRST EVERY TIME, so that she at least has the opportunity to gain sexual pleasure. 5) Write all this stuff in a loving and detailed letter and ask her to keep a copy of the letter to reflect on the future. Let her know you would like to receive a letter from HER also, outlining her desires in the marriage AND bedroom. 6) If things get worse or don't improve ask your wife to attend marriage counselling with you. If she says "No", then go by yourself. Seriously, it is a fantastc way to get support, even if on your own! I know from experience. Women are complex....meet her EMOTIONAL needs and she may be much more willing to meet your legitimate needs.
I have a secret. I used to work as a sex worker (an escort.) I was with a lot of men over the years and “thought” I understood very well that men need the physical touch of intimacy which leads to boosted masculine confidence and emotional well being.
Well, fast forward years later and I am no longer a sex worker, I have a normal job, and am in a monogamous long term relationship. Even though I know what I know, i’ve kind of regressed into a place where having sex is one of my last priorities.
When I have no sex drive, I literally have to REMIND myself by watching RUclips videos on the subject, that sex is STILL required in my relationship because honestly, I’d rather just cuddle with him, talk and watch Netflix after a long day. Sex, honestly, feels like… a chore these days, but when I do make the time & effort for sex, I do often enjoy it. And it doesn’t take that long. It’s like 20 min tops. 😂 Truly, men and women are just designed differently, I think.
@@tammypham1024 as a barber, I hate working outside of the shop. As a former prostitute, you don't like to have sex. "It's a chore"...in your words... Which makes sense.
I went through the same thing, feeling unwanted, unsatisfied, tried talking, tried everything. then I eventually snapped and had a threesome and the girls told me I had a big dick and it was so awesome it changed my life. I recommend cheating to all men in this situation. basically by with holding she has cheated you
@@daveypockets5175 right, she's literally used up. Also I bet she's lying to her long term partner, because if he knew she felt like this, he'd drop her nasty ass in a heartbeat.
It's 2024 and humans are still trying to work out what sex is for.
Sex feels good.
It makes your spouse feel good.
And it produces children.
The world is over populated. We consume too much of earths resources. It’s time to stop being selfish.
Well said. Sadly, many women are "driven" by other needs. Consider the growing acceptance of women being "bisexual" in nature. Think about that in terms of "attraction." Not sex, but attraction. Men (generally) are programmed to visually equate a women's shape with sex... our sexuality is very targeted.
Sex with my spouse is validation. I feel like I am taking care of business when she joyfully gives it up. I personally don't care about being validated by anyone else. But my spouse sex puts me in a state of euphoria.
it certainly USED to ..........................
"Gives it up." That dynamic and anything resembling it will always put me off, not even considering the rest of the chaffing, damaging mismatches under discussion here.
@@PolkRidgeAesthete Thank you! You articulated very well how I feel about majority of the male comments in this section. Out of the hundreds of comments I've viewed, I've only 1 seems like a genuine emotionally intelligent/mature response that doesn't seem selfish, cold and transactional.
@@leaellas8400 Glad you appreciate it! Not only is anything smacking of "selfish, cold and transactional" on either side wrongheaded, but the notion that only women have something akin to a gift to offer in this and that a man should be expected to initiate some one-sided procedure in which he "gets some" and the female "gives it to him" has always infuriated me as debasing to men and summarily dismissing of sexual interaction itself I hated the existence of this dynamic from early in life, have refused to participate in it and have railed against it in my work.
@@PolkRidgeAesthete Well, for what it is worth, I will give you virtual flowers 💐, and say thank you for being the exception in knowing that sex is not a carnal animalistic procedure... People often treat it as a mindless consumer of theories of sexual relations being haphazardly mocked and tested in ways that are demeaning, belittling, loathing, and self-serving. This is coming from the perspective of a (self-proclaimed) conscientious woman.
This is ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. Finally at least one woman who understands.
As a man who has had a marriage destroyed by sex starvation, I can verify that what this woman says is 100% true. BUT there is something still bothering me: Let's say, hypothetically, that it really is just a physical need, and that masturbation and/or prostitution etc., are not satisfying or appropriate ways to satisfy this need. What is so bad about satisfying a physical need your spouse has? My wife (now-x) often needed a back massage or foot massage, and, at least until I became bitter about the one-sided nature of satisfying physical needs, I was more than happy to help with that. Why do wives need some kind of super-important reason beyond just... her husband needs it? This makes me think marriage is a bad idea for men, especially since any man who has been in divorce court knows that many of his obligations are mandatory and are enforced under penalty of jail, while she has virtually no obligations to the relationship in the eyes of the law and also in the eyes of the culture.
Spot on. You should read 1 Corinthians 7:1-11
It’s all there.. stick to the teachings and find a woman who will do the same… heck… put it on your dating app… weeds out a lot of trouble… blessings.
Without sex, your just another girl. Sex is the only thing that differentiates a relationship.
A man must have multiple women to keep him busy with his hips 👀😁😅🔥🔥❤️❤️
Without shared intimacy there is no difference between being married and just having a roommate.
@@DavidLaFerney
There are MANY ways to be intimate - sex isn’t the only way!
@@user-ex3mx7hk4l its not the only way but its a pretty big one,how is this so hard to grasp for some people
There would be no greater feeling for a man than not to need anything from women. The physical need for sex is a burden barely matched by drug or alcohol addiction
Maybe, did have that. At least it's not harmful for health.
Yeah free to be the complete ahole you want to be… God designed it for a reason
Have sex with each other?
This is a godtier quote and the story of the lives of many men. Men's endless need to procreate is in fact a slavish, lifelong addiction. And for what purpose? Who designed to be like that? Why is life so obsessed with multiplying itself?
Physical intimacy with your wife is a gift from God, but looking it elsewhere is satan trying to break you 😅 I don't know why it's so, maybe in evolution something went wrong. @@yearofthedawgs8581
Why are men vilified for wanting sex when women aren’t vilified for wanting emotional support, call me misogynistic but there are a lot of double standards here.
Emotional support doesn’t invade anyones body cavity.
@@ladybug3380 mi casa sou casa.
As a man I feel that what you are saying is true! Men do want a physical relationship but that is not what sex is all about, it is really about the intimate connection between the lovers! Like you are special to me, I am special to you, let's connect.
This video has been up for nine years, and the information is still good. In fact, the information is so good that people keep remaking the same video. I find something both amusing and reassuring about that fact. You probably didn't mean to make your viewers chuckle in addition to learning, but I needed the chuckle.
My wife stopped having sex, then she stopped kissing, now she can get on with talking, because I've gone.
Sex isn't a physical need for anyone. Some people go their whole lives without it, but no-one can live without food or water.
What it is necessary for, is the health of the marriage. Denying sex to a man is not keeping your side of the agreement. It makes him feel rejected and betrayed, at the most fundamental level.
We need to get couples talking about this, before they're too old.
too late for us,She won ............
As a man, Id say this is totally accurate. We divide physical from mental and emotional way too easily whereas they are facets of the one field.
The question really should be; why get married to someone who is supposedly your "best friend" that you claim to "love" and then turn around and look at the man wanting to be intimate with you as some big inconvenience, chore to be avoided at all costs and somehow beneath you as the wife?
It's because we are hardwired differently, and approach a relationship from different perspectives: the Man physically, and the Woman emotionally- this is why they have the ongoing conflict. If we were wired the same, we wouldn't have this problem, but the world would be over crowded. Man, biologically, is made to have sex, and impregnate, and, Women to nurture. Mother Nature has only one plan: the survival, and fostering of the species; like all other species.
This is a good conversation to bring a ‘new’ perspective if I may. I’ve been married 45 years to my husband and we’ve been quite compatible in the bedroom over the years but things DO change. We’ve had some serious times that included considering separating.
What I did in those times is to acknowledge his needs as highly important to the relationship and that I understood my commitment to never saying no but to meeting those needs. He just had to ask me or indicate and I would make myself ready physically and emotionally the next day or so. We both enjoy sex but the anger, feelings hurt, etc have to be deliberately put aside by both partners. Research over the last 30 years or so shows the top needs of men and women are distinctly different Mens top priorities are sex, honour &respect, domestic support and friendship. Women’s top needs are security, being desired, provided for and friendship. Sex is the God given glue that holds marriages/families together. Each of us as spouses have made commitments around sexual exclusivity. It is not an option to refuse sex with my husband because of the covenant promise I made to him. He is not free to abuse me but to provide and protect me and our children. It’s really that straightforward. When the relationship starts unravelling it always has to do with unmet needs of someone. That is where being able to communicate is critical, even mandatory to get professional help if necessary.
Why get married to a woman just to treat her like a transactional prostitute? I do this for you and go to work everyday, so screw me on demand!
I tell my wife when I get hit on my a younger woman (and reject said womans advances)... I always get more positive attention from my wife afterward (she knows I'm still 'in demand'...) 😊
@@peterboza7072 exactly! Women are the gatekeepers of human life. We’re wired to not want sex all the time so we can raise our children properly. If we kept having sex and birthing multiple children back to back to back we’d have a low survival rate as a species because the woman wouldn’t be able to take care of those young babies properly by herself. Men don’t think about these things too deeply they only think about their needs being met no matter the consequences to those actions. Women can see this and it’s why we’re turned off to sex.
I’ll echo most men in this thread. My wife doesn’t grasp what’s it’s like to go to bed hungry
And wake up hungry EVERY DAY! Male sexuality in the confines of a committed is still perceived as bad. I’d love to be treated like a piece of meat by my wife but unfortunately itll never happen
Whenever she wants to do something say you don’t feel like it. Keep on doing this. When she eventually asks what’s up you can ask what’s up with her for not wanting to make love either. Hopefully she will understand. But usually they don’t. Good luck brother. Been there too.
The hormone and neurotransmitter oxytocin creates a bond in a marriage. Women can get oxytocin from all kind of things, even from looking at a picture of a baby. Men only get oxytocin in the larger quantities from sex. By having sex oxytocin creates neural connections in the male brain that bind him to the woman he had sex with, like oxytocin creates the bond between a mother and her child when she breastfeeds. Men can't get it from masturbation and porn, which overflows the brain with dopamine, and that creates addiction like heroin or cocaine.
Oxytocin is literally the cement that holds everything together.
@elizabeetle13 no, it is the bonding molecule with which a woman can literally bind two partners. It's the cement that keeps a family together. Therefore it is something beautiful. Sex is something beautiful between people that love eachother. It can manifest in all kind of forms that could be 'distasteful', or not, but that is not what I am talking about here.
@@marcelklein3879 it just means you guys aren’t evolved enough to connect in other ways.
@elizabeetle13 whatever makes you happy. I'm not here to judge people about their choices in life.
You can’t argue with science!
There is a reason certain ‘feel good’ chemicals are ONLY released when the man is in love.
The greatest sex was designed to be within marriage.
If you think the best sex is outside of this sacred union then you are short changing yourself.
If you think an affair is the answer to your problems, be prepared to blow up your entire life since chances are you WILL be found out eventually.
If your marital sex life is broken -
there ARE ways to fix it.
(But the chances of most men looking for help is close to ZERO.)
Excellent video, I need to buy that book, and you're right about men having lots of trouble not only expressing their feelings, but many of us have trouble connecting to those feelings, or even lack awareness that they are there in the first place.
However, I only started realizing this after several months of marriage counseling, and now communication with my wife has improved enormously because now I am able to share how I FEEL about things.
Sex is (making love to…) as a man I like the cuddling, sweet talk, the woman body, the hugging, touching, feeling, kisses during sex. This whole experience is important not just the physical action.
Wow, did a man just say that? Who knew.
@@daisyrenee
Yes, I am a man!
@@daisyrenee And yeah, a lot of men feel this way, but aren't allowed to, or can't as eloquently express it. It's not just about the penetrative act, it's about the bonding and intimacy before, during and after. A lot of women tend to simply disregard men's feelings and needs related to sex, due to lowered libido in safe, secure long term relationships - add in some hormone changes and BINGO - He's a sex maniac and that's all he wants me for, blah, blah, blah... Yeah, some guys are the ahole - but that's not who we are talking about - we are talking about regular dedicated , loyal husband starved like a cactus and made to feel if he "just did more housework" he might get affection.
You ain’t nothing but a horn dog. 🤣 Seriously though. You are perfectly normal. Blessings.
New subscriber! Thank you so much. I can't possibly count all the times ive been made to feel bad for needing and wanting sex in relationships and how i get lumped into a straw man fallacy of "you just think you're owed sex" or being called "sexist" or "superficial." I wish more people would get out of hollywood and into their own lives and own relationships. Thanks so very much! This should be required content for men and women everywhere! This knowledge you shared right here could stop wars!
If you're married, you ARE owed sex, period.
we love bonding with our lover, its how we feel love
Men want to connect with their wives, and they do it different than how women want connect with their husbands. Who woulda thought?
I want sex 🤤
@CJ Dingcong Only when you start paying properly then talk about what men want. Cause most want the sex part but don't give women the security for her to do so. It's not just about y'all...
Need NOW 8
@@auralay2497 who said It was just about us? We don't demand as many things like yall.
@@javarwalker7149 You sure?
"She should be a hot 10 and feminine lady but also earn her own paycheck and share it with me.
But god forbid I have to be a gentleman towards her. It should be equal
If she wants to be a mom she should put her kids first while I work on my career and provide. But she shouldn't quit her job, times are tough"
That's just a gist of 90% men what they say when they look for a partner.
Of course, they're gonna say they look for love but their actions show otherwise.
Again, as I said. Tit for tat bud, what men give is what they get. And since they give 25% at best, then they get 25%
50/50, more like 25/75 at womens exoense and y'all are still unhappy. The problem is in men who want what they can't have but cry like muts when life hits them hard for it.
My wife says sex is not love. I told her t depends on how you use it. If sex was not love, then it would be okay for me to have sex with anyone then. Sex is love when you treat it monogamously and give to your partner and not make your partner pay for like a prostitute would.
If a wife is made to feel like a booty call, simply a physical release for her husband, he is treating her like a prostitute. One he doesn't have to pay.
Sex is a gift that God gave us. It is to be enjoyed and shared by married couples and is designed to commit yourselves to each other in a loving and bonding way
. If people chose to live as GOD intended their lives would be so much better and make marriages better too.
Imagine thinking that your husband wants sex as a PHYSICAL NEED and depriving him of that need because it’s “just a need.” 🤯 This is CRAZY
Deprive her of food and she’ll understand.
After reading the comment section, I realised that I am not the only guy in this world whose wife didn't understand a simple thing.🤦
Every women is pretty much the same. You are good brother.
They understand, they're just cynica and manipulators. They need us for economic purposes. The rest is shït.
Good message 😊 The physical side for sex is a given... but it is the emotional connection you can make with your partner that makes it 'love making.'😊
my lady knows that, the longer she makes me wait, the faster I finish.... leaving her unsatisfied.
Ladies should always go (come) first.
That is an excellent line. Regular intimacy will result in longer and more satisfying se*.
@elizabeetle13You're a miserable harpy.
If we hate sex with our Husbands so much that we just want it over & done with - there is a deeper problem in the relationship we must address.
This problem starts OUTSIDE the bedroom.
Ignoring it will only make things WORSE.
💕
"Men think love only means 1 thing" - Actually men think love means 100 things, but women think it only means 99.
Of course that's usually because these women married men they're not attracted to, so they resent the husband for not being the man they really wanted. The same woman enjoyed sex with other men before she got married, she just doesn't enjoy it with her husband.
Without sex, you're just roommates. Everything else you can do with friends.
It's a combination of both physical and emotional needs.
If I had to put a percentage to it I would say about
35% physical and 65% emotional.
The first honest response on this thread! We are driven by physical desire and its accompanying need to do the business, but more than that by a desire to be intimate - not only with that person but also with the physicality of an attractive female. Where the balance lies depends on the other factors in the relationship. A casual friend? It's her body that matters more. Your partner? It's the person that mainly counts.
Bout right, imo
Let me simplify it. Wives let your husband have his way with you. Unless you absolutely can't. Even then there are some things that can be done. If you are not initially in the mood, through communication make it so that you get in the mood, even if it is a bit of a delayed reaction. He does more than you can imagine for you when he is not in the mood.
Except that when a woman clearly lets you know she is doing you a favor, and participates without any enthusiasm, and lays there like a starfish, the sex is so horrible and no man wants to repeat that.
100% right.
1 Corinthians 7:1-11
It’s all there.. stick to the teachings and find a woman who will do the same… heck… put it on your dating app… weeds out a lot of trouble… blessings.
Women's greatest sexual desire comes as a result of biological fertility ... starting in their teens, peaking in their early 20s that ends typically in their mid 30s and quickly falls off... men are fertile from puberty till the day they die and their desire for sex with a female that is in her prime doesn't drop off. When it comes to relationships men want what they cant have... and women take great satisfaction having control over that. The issue is that as a relationship matures their man then sees it as a form of manipulation. this is what causes problems... and if the man isnt getting those need met... he will lash out to express that frustration... be it infidelity... drinking or become abusive in the relationship. Once the damage has been done it is rarely repairable.
So in a nutshell, men are wired to not be loyal yet exoect women to be loyal to them...
Huh, no wonder why the dating market went to shXt. Maybe men could try understanding womens changing sxuall needs as women age rather than going for the younger ones constantly.
Ever thought of that?
Female sexual fertility peaks at 33
Female sexual desire peaks at 45
Perfectly said!
@@sciencedavedunning3415 absolute BS Stated by a woman... menopause starts at 45 for 80% of women. A woman's peak reproductive years are between the late teens and late 20s. this is why men looking for sex target these age groups because they are most receptive to it.. the facts out in the dating world agree. women in their 40s are not looking for love... they are looking for a retirement plan. once they find it... they stop pretending and the sucker she hooked is in a financial agreement she gets rewarded for him breaking.
Wrong. Womens sex drive peaks around 35.
It boggles my mind that women think this.
Celibate for 3 years, because sex is a sacred act, ladies.
If your partner doesn’t need sex, they don’t need you. Man or woman, you married the wrong person.
Within the couple sex is a source of a type of pleasure that can't be obtained with any other activity and it's free. Women struggle to understand the value of any thing or activity they don't perceive as scarce or hard to get. In my opinion if she can't be bothered to find the time and will to have sex with her partner, she should not complain when her partner gives someone else what she didn't want for herself.
The pleasure you feel during intercourse isn’t the same pleasure women feel. It’s an annoyance for most of us if clitoral stimulation isn’t included.
@@ladybug3380
Men who know this will have MORE sex than they can handle!
In reality they hate asking for directions - it’s so much easier just to have intercourse and expect that’s enough -
Especially since porn almost never shows the truth:
MOST women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm.
It’s just physiology 101.
Any guy that tries to learn how to please a woman & doesn’t give up will hit it out of the park on an epic level.
Their sex life would be STELLAR.
👏👏👏
(sexually speaking)Some women as they age, start to feel less attractive and unknowingly resent when you still find them attractive .
Sex for men is an appetite just like the need for food.
Women struggle to understand that.
Unfortunately, our society basically mandates a man needs to be married or at least have a willing partner.
What it does is literally give all the power to Women.
There in lies the rub. Is it a power play or resentment over an issue or a part of their marriage she feels invalidated?
A huge reset button needs to be pushed when the couple enters the bedroom. Come in as partners.Don reside deeply in heart or am I just an inconvenience?
"or at least have a willing partner"? Yikes on a bike. 🚩
thank you for your video. This might be something you might like: My personal philosophy has 20 beliefs I strive to live by:
1. “Love is the only rational act.” -Stephen Levine
2. We are all teachers, we are all students. We grow and evolve together.
3. Nothing about me, without me.
4. “Make Life Beautiful” from the song Beautiful by Storm Large
5. "Work is love made visible." -The Prophet by Khalil Gibran
6. I can like you, even though I am not like you. We are equals even though we are not alike. -inspired by the book A Wrinkle In Time.
7. The Universe provides.
8. Pain is (often) ignorance leaving the body. -paraphrased from the Tsunami Rangers
9. As you are art, so am I.
10. “Joy is the gift of love, grief is the cost of love, anger protects your love.” -Valarie Kaur
11. “That which is moral is that which feels good, (during and) after.”
12. If you don't heal from those who hurt you, you will bleed on those who didn't cut you.
13. "You can ask for anything in the world that you want, as long as you are willing to accept no for an answer." -Steve the Hippie
14. “Sit with reason, move with passion.” -paraphrasing Kahlil Gibran from The Prophet
15. “Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.” -Viktor Frankl,
16. It doesn't have to be fun, to be fun. -from an unknown rock climber
17. We live in a world where anything is possible.
18. There is pretty much just one question in life to answer, and that is, how do you want to spend your time? -my step father Paul
19. The best way to predict the future, is to create it. -Peter Drucker
20. If you want something you've never had, you gotta do some thing you've never done. -Carlos Anderson, the Minister, from Hope Church
The problem that's so frustrating is so many people have it backwards. We use these methods as tools to get emotional connection....talking, sex, etc.....when we need to first establish emotional connection and then do an activity from that space.
I've been married 35 years in April. My wife is my best friend whom I love being with. Without an expression of love, sex can be crude and lonely but that is not what it was ever intended to be. Rather, it is a most precious loving union between husband and wife. Sex is the most intimate thing two people can do together. I took a vow that I would be faithful to her for the rest of my life - which I have done. I *need* sex because this is how I express my love to her. There is a deep, innate drive to leave a part of myself in her, and no one else. It is an act of complete giving and taking of one's self.
This is the most beautiful comment, and may your love/connection grows stronger as time goes on 💕🤗 God bless you 🙏
Your wife is a very blessed woman.
It’s all ego based.
This is what I’ve been trying to verbalize to my wife for years, I’m going to watch this with her, thank you.
I tried for 14 years. She was not interested. Now that we are divorcing she still complains.
@nunyabidness1050 good luck with that. Let me know how that worked out.
Ha! You think it's that's simple. You poor fool in love. You got a certified piece of shite that will never be a diamond. Flee...
Didn't work, did it.
Fact is that most women (wives) don’t want to be told what , or how they are doing something wrong, especially sex.
A timeless battle in essence. Keep the fishermen attitude gentleman, represent…
The message seems to be that if you want a varied and interesting sex life, don't get married.😮
Then you misunderstood the video in its entirety. The message is that men don't only need sex and women don't only need emotional connection. The message is that everyone wants emotional connection and sex, not one or the other.
Hello, I want you to know what you said is correct. Men express their emotions to women through physical touch which is very important for women to know. MY daughter was having trouble with speaking and having emotional problems with her husband. I explained to her that when a man is in his most vulnerable state is when he is in some way touching a woman. A man has the same nurturing feeling toward a woman like a woman with her childern. A woman who is also a protective and provider. She has a need to touch, hug and cuddle her childern because they're preciuos and most of all they need to touch, hug and kiss their child is it gives reassurance the child is safe and it brings comfort and it settles her emotions. Same for men. We feel exactly the same as women being reassured through touching what we value is okay. It's our reassurance to calm our emotions also. What you fail to realize is that is also the time when you want to hear what is going on with your childern, isn't that the time when your heart is opened wide to your child, when your child have all of your attention is when your hugging, kissing and when they're touching you. It is the same for us men. That is when our hearts are the most wide, that's when we are the most vulnerable and open to any emotional connection. That's when men like a mother with a child at our emotional vulnerabilty. Yet that is why women miss out. They think what they are rejecting are the moments when we can be emotionally vulnerable to her the most. That is when his heart is fully opened wide for her. That is when she knows she can pour out her heart to him.
The loneliest I have ever felt was laying next to my wife completely cut off from intimacy. It’s more than sex. She stopped holding hands, sharing a hug or kiss and sex stopped completely for no reason. A switch went off one day after many years.
It’s because you stopped connecting with her so she stopped connecting with you.
@@ladybug3380 Wrong. I became the only one putting in effort. She admitted something had changed with her and it wasn’t because of me. Thanks for the predictable “blame the man” response though. FYI, she’s also completely changed in how she treats the kids.
@@craigknight4836 sorry for assuming. Most times it’s the men who change and then the woman follows.
Women need to accept sex in their relationship. It's like eating and breathing, it needs to happen daily in a relationship. Not doing it is a problem.
Imagine someone wanting to poke inside your bum every day. Would you like that?
@@ladybug3380you and I both know which is the same thing
There's a lot to why I, a man, wants to have sex. It's primal but there's more to it than just that. I like the attention and knowing that someone finds me desirable. And it's not an impulse to me. It's pretty much 24/7.
Sex creates a connection for men. It is the way we feel authentically connected with our woman partner. Sexless marriage is 1 in 4 marriages now and it is due to women closing down. This is misery for men.
The problem is they don't want to give it up bit feel bad when you don't come knocking. It's complex.
Sex makes you feel deep close to your partner . Talking is friendship and leads to arguments
Um, with all due respect: You can't paint such a broad stroke about all men (or all women) and how they are all the time. Sure, sometimes sex is all about connection, communication, validation, etc. Other times, it can be purely physical, and there's a huge continuum in between.
marriage is joining, not long term dating. he provides protects leads and loves. she metaphorically gives her hand meaning herself to him taking even his identity with his name. he is her and she is him. sex is literal union.
As a Man I say she completely missed the point here! Sex is a necessity. Men need sex like we need to eat. It's about the body function and the hormones as anything else.
The thing is there is good sex and bad sex. But even bad sex is something.
It's like hunger. Everyone loves a 5-course fine dining experience, but we can't have that every day and we accept it. We eat everyday regular diner at home and even settle for a fast food meal every now and then.
But if you're starving you take whatever you can. If you're in need, you will take any flavorless shit and you even like it.
And that's how many couples live, women create this artificial scarcity that keeps men interested, like in economics scarcity increases the value of things. Women feel desired, wanted, and their ego satisfied exerting power and control over the man.
They realize they have something men want and that men will do anything to get it. So women keep feeding men breadcrumbs every so often, and make men live starvation, never satisfied, always around begging for some more.
Everyone likes a great meal, a barbecue, a nice steak. But if you're enduring in a situation of need, even yesterday's leftover will be greatly appreciated.
Very correct. 1 Corinthians 7:1-11
It’s all there.. stick to the teachings and find a woman who will do the same… heck… put it on your dating app… weeds out a lot of trouble… blessings.
FFS, STOP with the stereotypes please. Not all women like to have 'a really great conversation'. You can't compare the two. I give up...
who in their right mind thinkds its purely physical!? its a love language its a need for the SOUL its very little to do with physical. its a spiritual need.
It is not one versus the other. It is indeed physical but, also very much emotional and spiritual.
It’s not a spiritual need it’s a low vibrational animalistic act that was designed for reproduction.
Men and women BOTH love to have sex. Premarital sex is almost everywhere. Why does this change after marriage. What are men doing after marriage that turn women off? That is the question. I doubt very much that if the circumstances of dating, of romance, of support and appreciation continued into the marriage this would not be the severe problem it is.
SAY IT LOUDER FOR PEOPLE IN THE BACK!
👏👏👏
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Women tend to use sex as currency
1) It feels good and I like it
2) I want you to want me, sex confirms this to be true
3) means Im not a loser or a reject that no woman will have
I also have not had it in 18 years, and I've been consistently rejected by women that I have bent over backwards to accommodate. Looking in the mirror and seeing #3, is probably the number 1 contributor to suicidal ideation, self loathing, and an over whelming desire to just stay at home and never seek companionship of any kind, resulting in extreme isolation, loneliness, old age alone, and ultimately, death - without having lived. Which is a tragedy. And when your life is a tragedy, its impossible to see the point, unless you make the point, to suffer.
“If they only wanted to have sex for physical desire, why do they have it with us,
why not with someone else“ they do have sex with someone else 😂 js
Spot on! And when a woman says to her husband "I don't want you", what he hears is "I don't love you". Needless to say, she only gets a certain quota of this before big problems start to emerge.
Good video though! Got the message across to those women who listen too much to the media!
It’s not that complicated. We are animals no different than others. Females of the species go into heat. The male is always ready when that happens. Males don’t go into heat. They live in that condition every day.
Sex is how they connect with us. wow. I love that.
Sex is very bad awww
@@hypex1378 I want some
1000 %
If your wife constantly rejects you and denys sexual intimacy, she clearly does not love you anymore. Time to move on.
Without having listened to this video, I'm going to share my own understanding..... Men are biologically hardwired by the age of 17, to impregnate as many gals as possible . Around the age of 30, women have an equally powerful drive to get pregnant. Either gender can express these desires in selfish manners that abuse the other. That is sex . Lovemaking requires an emotional commitment to personally derive joy by pleasing and pleasuring the other. I, personally, have never been happy in a merely sexual relationship. I believe males that are happy with mere sex are something less than "men" . I don't know what to say about selfish, abusive women except their existence is widely denied................. Passion can always be fired up....... but compassion is essential in a lasting relationship.
And after childbearing years? No, it's not about impregnating girls. Some irresponsible teenagers get pregnant bit that wasn't the reason.
@LO57 GIRL I spoke only about my own experiences. I have no opinion about what the lady said excepting two points.....
1- Based on the title she chose, she has lumped all men together in a group . To lump all men together as one group is wrong in that it denies individuality and in fact is abusive behavior if a man does the same to a woman.
2- Some men, ( but I will speak only as myself ) have utterly no interest in having "sex" , but would cherish the woman who would provide the opportunity to make love in a committed relationship based on mutual virtues such as love, compassion, understanding, etc.
I have had no luck in meeting a woman willing to demonstrate these virtues , unfortunately. However, women who appreciate these virtues enter my life frequently, and without reflecting them back to me, they hang around enjoying my serious devotion until the relationship falls apart due to thier neglect. For 11 years I tolerated a woman who screamed at me, "Why aren't you happy with me ?!! I don't know why you're not happy with me !!! What's wrong with you ?!!! "
Funny but she should have known exactly what was wrong with me. She pointed it out every time I asked her to put her earrings away so I wouldn't step on them in the night. She said, "You always complain about the same thing over and over !!!" To which I calmly replied, " The first time you listen to any one of my complaints........ will be the last time you ever hear it. "
She said, "I don't have to listen to you because you're the man !!!"
I said, " We all have to listen to each other to avoid ignoring each other. No one wants to be ignorant "
She said, " Don't call me ignorant !!! That's abusive !!!"
I never ever called her ignorant, that would have been superfluous.
She was eventually diagnosed with Histronic Personality Disorder...... a type of Narcissism.
If you respond to this with more gender based man-hatred, we'll both know that the problem is yours.
Won't we ? Wishing you the best.........
If that was the case. Men would have constructed a society that caters to that biological program.
@@monforttransport Societal norms change much faster than human nature. Today we have everything from arranged marriages and Serbian mail order brides to "palimony suits"........ there is no normal, perhaps there never was
@@monforttransport I think we did ...
Random recommended video, but I'll take a shot at it
Having sufficient empathy for the current emotional, spiritual, physical, and sexual condition of your partners needs to be a priority. Please care about your partner's wellbeing in addition to your own wellbeing. Then sit down, have a conversation about it, and sort it out with kindness and compassion to either preserve or restore both of your dignity.
This is something difficult and terrifying, especially if you do not have the words to express yourself. Find out what each of you find important and how you can work together to get everything.
I find I'm happier without sex and happier without a partner. I'm happier on my own!
Me too!
Get some help
@@iabusemydaughterdaily6287 Right back at ya.
Definitely more stress-free.
Enjoy your cats :)
This is like listening to a blind person talking about why people go to art galleries.
strong need, feels great, you don't feel like your in a marriage without it, sexless marriage is miserable. Seems sad to put down somone down for a need, without it can cause mental hard after years of yearning.
Sex is a "spiritual" need too! (The bible even says that). The question is "Why don't women not want to have it, but still stay married? (What is the point)
I realize this is aimed at married couples, but most women can attest to being with men for whom ''sex was just sex'' and who have no capacity for emotional closeness. You can know them for years, get along well, have sex and feel like you've just been hit by a truck.
👏👏👏
You can’t let him into your body without feeling like your SOUL is involved.
We need loving connection if we don’t want to feel like cr*p after sex.
Sex is SO much more than just a physical act.
💕
What’s the old saying……” men use love to get sex and women use sex to get love”. Don’t fully agree but, there is some truth to it. Sex has different meanings to both women and men.
Thank you so much for this.
I really thought there was something wrong with me as a man!
The aspect of men and sex that I think you are communicating is that sex for men is also an important emotional connection for men.
You also make the point that the emotional connection that sex brings may be even more important to men than for women!
This could explain why men are statistically more faithful in relationships than women.
In order of importance: 1) It's a biological imperative; there's no free will regarding the sex drive; 2) It feels better than anything else in life; 3) She has lovely eyes, and a charming personality.
She's so cute. I want her to be my aunt 😊😄
What?!!! So surprised.
I want her to be my teacher
She do give auntie vibes
😂
This is so true. I'm a husband, and I had a hard time persuading my wife that I needed it as a way to feel loved, needed, appreciated and connected to her. I also learned that what she needed was to be seriously listened to. I listen to her whenever she needs it. I drop everything and look at her and really listen. She has sex with me every Sunday morning. Her schedule, her terms. At first she was concerned that she HAD to have sex when I wanted it. She did not want to feel forced. I told her that she could say no on any particular occasion when I asked, but that if she ever STOPPED having sex with me, we would have serious problems. Being on a schedule takes all the spontanaity out of it. And like most people, we do the same exact things every time, in the same order. But this seems to work for us. And we are both over 60.
I'm not surprised she got this information from a book
I never felt like I needed sex, my ex wife needed it way more than me. I never had to initiate, she always did. A man should never have to ask his wife for sex.
This does not require any analysis.
I read her book and it was great until it came to the conclusion that if your wife refuses to be intimate you should just forget about it and keep on going without!
For some reason, the comment are all by men agreeing, many talking about how bad women are at hearing men's pain.
For me it's the deeper intimacy of a relationship.
Personally speaking, it's a very strong desire, but I have to fancy the person at least a little, preferably a lot. It doesn't have to mean anything like being in love etc. That's generally only how women see it. It's different for both sexes, always will be, but each sex is always hoping the other one will see things the same way. It will never happen. If women felt the same way as men about sex, we would all be at it like rabbits.
Thank you!!! 👏 first real comment from a man ever. Basically if she doable he wants to do her. Love has nothing to do with it. Guys will always be disgusting immoral beings. Dick wet = happiness.
1000% agree! That is, bodies have sex, personalities make love.
Along that line, high value men are sexually attracted by PERSONALITIES, not bodies. All the makeup or sexy clothing can never compete with a genuine smile. :)
For vast majority of men (including myself) sex is love language...if she doesn't speak my language we can't communicate well and whole relationship will collaps...Same like if I withdraw everything from her love language, like cuddling, spending time together, complimenting her from time to time, spending time watching movies, small hugs and overall affection.
Thank you for getting to your point in less than 5 minutes praise praise praise
Women use their emotions purely as manipulative tools. It is much like how a spider uses webs, she eight legs and venomous bite to trap feed upon and eventually kill her prey. Live long and prosper. 🖖
Australian psychologist Bettina Arndt has been writing and speaking about this for decades.
She blames woman for this situation. Her advice is simple: Give it up. It isn't going to hurt you and could save your marriage.