#3 is a big one and I think a majority of women don’t have any realistic idea of what NO attention looks like. Boys learn from a very young age that they need to be their own support system. To be honest, I think if most women experienced the lack of attention that men are accustomed to, it would absolutely crush their self esteem. I don’t mean this in a hurtful way, I just wish more women understood this.
#3. Men like peace and quiet, especially after a hard days work. They withdraw into a comfort zone. Being zoned out doesn't mean he is ignoring the partner. Just pondering a problem or recharging the batteries. Women need attention all the time. Positive is good but negative is better than nothing. This I think is the root of drama and the motive of drama queens.
They have no concept of true loneliness. November is hunting season, So I took some vacation days and went hunting. At one point I realized I hadn't spoken a word in four days. I sent a daily text to family to let them know I was safe. But not a word spoken.
@@Theveganshift77 If your everyday is loud chaos, yes, it is pleasing. When your everyday is already quiet loneliness, for an extroverted person, it is like staring into the abyss.
Having had an abusive narcissist girlfriend was incredibly valuable. I no longer care if I have a woman around or not. Being single is far far better than dealing with crazy people.
Exactly, close relationship has more damage than benefit, Best relationship experiences i had was the case where i and my girlfriend lived in seperate houses and we used to meet once a week When she comes to your aprtment to live, the problem starts, she wants to take all control of your life, even you can not go and sit a coffe place because she thinks your money belongs to her, you have to spend only money with her
True, i had same problem with a narcissist girlfriend in my younger years, and after we split up I was alone and happy many, many years. But now a real woman is in my life. We never argue, do things together, respect each other etc. So, belive it or not, they exist still out there. God luck to you also!
I understand from experience. Dated a crazy chick, went well for a while, but she said something to my dad that pissed me off, and I broke it off with not soon after that. I've been happy ever since then.
0:18 Rejection 2:58 Putting in more effort than the other at the beginning of a relationship 4:36 Lack of Attention 5:24 Power dynamic that is not leaning in their favor 6:46 Getting replaced by someone better than them after a breakup
Almost 50 years ago I was in a public library reading and a young woman asked me if I was in one of her college classes. I was in the Navy at that time so I answered the explicit question and said no. I didn’t realize she was trying to approach me. She insisted that I was in her class. I still replied “no.” Had she said she would like to talk with me I would likely have talked with her for an hour or two. As I told my wife before we got married, “Don’t hint. Be as blunt as driving a tack with a sledgehammer.”
Yeah, because most men do something very, very strange with words that most women cannot fathom; we convey information. We "communicate". We aren't just making sounds to try to make each other feel a certain way.
I can totally relate. I’ve missed so many subtle, cryptic hints from women throughout my life. I’ve told my wife the exact same thing, be blunt and just say it.
Oh man, I feel ya. 10 or so years ago I got approached by a girl at a bar who asked me, repeatedly, if I lived in the same building as her (we actually had crossed paths earlier that night bc a friend of mine lived in her building). I proceeded to say no and tell her where I actually lived and then walked out. I still beat myself up over that one to this day.
I feel ya, bro. I'm asperger's, so I had to remind my wife not to beat around the bush and just be totally straightforward. It has helped immensely. :). Before, she would get so frustrated with me that I couldn't read her... didn't "speak her language." Now she can speak mine and I'm better with her.
I have literally been rejected 100% throughout my life after the age of 14. It took me a long time to get happy with being by myself. Now, my standards have gone up immensely. A woman would have to be special for me to give up my happy, carefree life.
Same here. I've been rejected thousands of times. Barely get a sentence in before they find some nasty way of telling me no. I gave up over a decade ago. Any woman that wants to be part of my life now would have a lot to prove they belong in my life. I'm perfectly fine being alone except for a good dog. Gotta have one of those.
I was happy and carefree until I met this girl. I think it was her mission to wipe the smile off my face, she did, but I'm fighting back and completely cut her off. She keeps trying to engage with me but to f'n bad lady you said in a text, "Our meeting was unfortunate."
I watch videos from women decrying where are the men? Men are just not playing the games with all the drama and manipulation. Make a stand and that is it.
Then the trick is to not appear invisible. Shake up a person's day with an obscure revealing. Like the other day I said to a random cashier if she thought hotdogs counted as sandwiches and encouraged her to engage in her thoughts. I guarantee she will think about that for at least a min after I disappeared back into the ether.
@@hightechredneck8587 you know... women go to the store to work. Not to get chatted up by men. I would feel super uncomfortable with you if you asked me that at work. Super not what she is there for.
@@dontstalkmedeltoro8816 what is wrong with a little nicety. Women are not mindless robots. But what do I know? I am just a guy who still thinks humanity can get along daily without offending anyone.
I'm 42 and just a few nights ago had, for the first time my entire life, a woman ask ME out after a night of hanging out together. I was already planning to do the same but she beat me to it and let me tell you, it's a great feeling to be the one actually being pursued a bit for once. 😂 Great video. Agree with everything you talked about!
@@vicarious462 Sorry to hear about your story man. I'm very aware that things like this can happen. One of the many reasons I've stayed single for so long. Appreciate the words of caution!
@@vicarious462 Anyone with children should go to their FATHER for help, She had more than one child? Woman not girl. She was just seeking a bill payer. YOU GOT HAD.
A few years back I asked a girl I thought was cool and attractive for her number and she told me "I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate that." Know what I felt? Pride for her. I thought that was awesome of her and I didn't feel the slightest bit bad because I appreciate loyalty, regardless of who it is.
And you believed that standard line?! 😂😂😂 I'm a male, and I've used that line myself when approached by women I wasn't attracted to! But, I'm glad she let you down gently, and it made you feel better about yourself being rejected! 😂😂😂
#3 - Lack of attention: A female work collegue (~age 55) told me "there is nothing that gets more ignored than an older woman". I just started to laugh and told her, that this is completely for most man of any age. - heads will turn turn when you enter a bar - people won't have eye contact walking down the street - you will have to call the waiter because they don't even look into your direction I only experienced 3 times that an unknown woman even smiled into my direction (outside of service jobs) and that was outside of western countries.
Being 6'4" with brown hair and blue eyes, and an active build, I got a little here and there. I looked like the guy she thought she was supposed to be looking for. Unfortunately I was over 40 before I figured out that ladies like tall. Yes, I'm that clueless.
If you are a man of a certain age ( 45 to whatever ) you become invisible on the street. Women will not look your way. Men are so use to this that they no longer even bother to talk to a women unless its for business or to order food.
I have one woman friend who was VERY attractive in her younger days and she could play mind games with any man she wanted (including myself...up to a point). Somewhere in her late 40s, karma hit her HARD and she had some health issues, put on some weight, lost her youthful good looks and in her desperation for attention, she entered a relationship with a mentally & physically abusive man. After about a year, she left him, had more health issues, put on a lot more weight and became clinically depressed. Fortunately for her, she did get on top of it all and lost a lot of the weight she gained, but it all took a toll on her on both her looks and self-esteem and now she looks like any other matronly 55 year old woman who's been humbled and knows that her power over men is a thing of the past. A HARSH reality a lot of older women are forced to discover, with the irony being, a lot of older men discover our power over women as we get older
1. Not handling rejection => Expecting Initiative 2. Not handling low effort => Expecting Initiative 3. Not handling lack of attention=> Expecting Initiative 4. Trying to hold all the power => Ruining Initiative 5. Being replaced by someone better => The Natural Result
I noticed this when I saw the stat that the divorce rate is higher when the women makes more money then the men. Since most divorces are initiated by women now days, it shows that they actually want a man to play traditional roles. It seems like women want men to lead, but then they won't call the men the leader. To "step up and not lead" as one feminist put it. I don't ever want to make a women feel inferior, and I have never thought of them as inferior. But I have started to see the rejection of giving men the title of leader as very disrespectful to men. And looking at how both genders are more unhappy then ever, do people actually want this "equality"?
Wow, a beautiful woman who has logic, compassion, and brains. What a deadly combo you possess. You should do a video on the differences between men and women being accountable for what they do and say. Love the movie with Jack Nicholson where he uses that line to the book publisher's secretary. She asks him how a man can write such deep thoughts of women..him being a man of course...and his retort, "I just take away logic and responsibility." Women use emotion. Had a situation of couple of years ago where a lady I supervised asked me how to document and resolve a quality control issue she had just experienced. Being in this company for almost 40 years I told her what was necessary to fix it. A few minutes after our conversation I saw her pick up the phone. I just knew something wasn't right. I walked by her and she was speaking to the Director of the company asking the same question she had asked me. After she was done with the phone call I approached her and asked why she had called the Director. She said something like she felt more comfortable with him. I told her i didn't appreciate her doing an end run around me to a higher supervisor. She didn't like that I had called her on that behavior. She began to cry. Needless to say it ended up in the Spanish Inquisition.. She was asked by the manager if the Director had given her any instructions different than what I had given to her. She replied, "No"! I was reprimanded for making her cry. I explained that I had simply said...without curses...without raising my voice...without dirty looks...that I didn't appreciate her calling a Director who was off-duty...and I was being paid extra money to be on-site manager...for her to go behind my back and disturb this Director. It made me look bad. So, I got punished for saying I didn't like what she had done. But I guess even that is no longer even allowed in our work places. So, she can turn on the emotions and cry over a feeling that she was corrected over trumps a supervisor telling her not to do something that she shouldn't have done. Even during the interview the manager told her to follow chain of command. But I got a verbal warning that I should have let it go and brought it up later to a manager. Go figure?!?
The thing is, she got emotional when you did the same exact thing I would have done in that situation. You were being calm and reasonable in telling her that you didn't appreciate what she had done. What she did going to a higher supervisor was disrespectful to you, and you let her know about it. And they had the audacity to discipline you for it! Wow! What a load of BS! All because she didn't listen to you explaining how the process was done.
"Trust not a woman when she weeps, for it is her nature to weep when she wants her will." Socrates. I had one tough mom and three sisters; and tears in a business setting never worked on me when I had to deal with incredibly careless screwups. In fairness, the older women at work were even more dismissive of tears than I was. There are still strong women but a lot fewer with every new generation.
Yeah, a good example when a couple is expecting a baby. If the woman does not want it: it will be aborted. If the man does not want it: tough luck, 18 years child support.
@@hiftu She can keep it if she wants, it's her body after all. The double standard comes further down the line: she can give the baby away if she wants to (adoption), therefore: she can freely forfeit her parental duties. A man can't, he is tied to a woman's choice (after the child is born, no 'my body' stuff). THAT is the inequality!
It starts early. Do not raise your daughters telling them they are special. Instead, tell them they have the ability to be amazing special people if they put in the effort. Do not raise princesses. Raise adults.
Girls like drama, women don't. Women remain bad at getting rid of drama. Usually there is 1 or 2 unintentional bad actors in a situation, removing them can remove the drama from the rest of the women. Unless they work in health healthcare; nurses constantly cause problems for each other, it's just what they do. The best you can hope for then is to contain the drama to work and a few minutes for her to vent when she gets home. All of the women in my extended family hated each other. Until one aunt moved across the country. She must have been the source of the drama because everyone else has been happier since.
The last one rang so true for me. Almost 10 years after my ex left me and divorced me, I asked a woman I’d met and been dating for a while, to marry me. As soon as my ex found out, she called me and started saying things like, “I miss you and miss all the wonderful times we had together. We should get together sometime and talk.” I replied, “That is in the past and right now it wouldn’t be appropriate to get alone with you.”
My main standard for women is that they live up to their own standards. It's interesting how unrealistic that standard seems in the face of points like these
@@stephenfoster1257 I've met far too many good women to accept that. I may complain about the culture, but claiming that women don't have moral standards is crossing a line
Some of us guys don't appeal to women very much and we experience constant rejection. I got used to it as a young man but finally got married at 27. Your 5 points are actually quite accurate.
I am 57 and happily married. I learned early on about rejection. After the first few times I realized I had about a 5 “no’s to 1 “yes” ratio - and all I really needed was one “yes” so I got braver. It was once I projected confidence and an “I can take you or leave you - I am happy on my own attitude” I got more dates. Once I got the date, I showed I’m willing to pursue her and I’m marriage minded. This was an automatic filter and the right one would not run… so… I married her…
And i Am Sooooooo Happy, to be Rejected from a few girls , so that I Often thank to God for This , Because only Years later i have realized how Evil, Spoiled and Unworthy they were !!! ! !!! Now i am still single at my 50's ... but still Better this, than to get stucked with those evil witches !!! ! !!! Thanks Again Only to God for saving me and my poor life 🙂 😀 🙂
The fear of rejection goes beyond dating. I have a female friend who is looking for a job. She will send out ONE application every month or two. She is so afraid of rejection that she cannot even apply for a job. Men, on the other hand, are perfectly willing to send out HUNDREDS of applications. They know it's a numbers game. If they get a rejection, they chalk it up to experience and say "next." Women just can't handle that. They had rather fail miserably than be rejected.
@@yourmom10269 Perhaps. Or, especially in the current economy, we may not get a job at all. But at least we TRY. We don't allow fear of rejection to paralyze us. Women often do so.
My Mom was the same way. She was widowed at age 37. So she had to find work. She applied for a job. Waited weeks to see if they would call her for an interview. Then maybe after two or three months she finally gave up and applied some place else. She got her first job a year after my Dad died and was hired at a minimum wage job which was I think the fifth or sixth place she applied. Were it not for survivor benefits we'd been screwed. She constantly complained about her job but maybe looked for a new one every year or so and when she didn't get hired she would first go into a deep depression then finally climb out of that but still have low self esteem for months before finally applying at yet another place. When she retired she was still at that first place though she did for a couple of years in the middle find a different job. She disliked that one more and so she reapplied for her old job and they offered her 25 cents an hour more than she had been making two years earlier when she quit and she took it. She was absolutely petrified of rejection. She also never dated after my Dad died probably for similar reasons though she had five children and men tend not to be interested in women with children, especially five.
That rejection one is definitely spot on. I remember years ago a sales team lead was giving us a talk about handling 'no' as an answer and he mentioned to the ladies present that they're going to have the hardest time with it (especially the young and pretty ones) because they rarely ever experience that in their lives whereas for guys it's just been 10 minutes since the last time they heard it.
Biggest reality point here.The opposite is also true to a degree - the good lookers often succeed in sales while their young for the opposite reason (if the target is male).
My heads still spinning from the vid N now u say it What the what Guess I’ve just been in the wrong sex all my life Rejection is familiar, I do it quite well And I can cold call no problem lol
Been watching your shorts for a couple months. Didn't realize I hadn't subscribed til now. Thank you so much for your content. Been happily unmarried since 2006. I appreciate your voice in the cause for many of us.
6.Accountability for her actions 7. Saying "I'm sorry and meaning it" 8. Saying what they actually think and standing by their word 9. Stop playing the victim 10. Enjoying simple things There's a Roman proverb they don't teach in school "When a woman smiles, she is lying. When she cries, she is manipulating"
you guys are tough. To me that is a gentle rejection, been better if she said " you aren't very attractive or you are out of shape or by the looks of your clothes or car you aren't rich enough"
@@bruceevans9664 That's a hard one. If a girl says she find me unattractive might be hurtful, because I can't do anything about it. If I'm not rich enough then I could do something or just consider her as a golddigger and I would feel I dodged a bullet.
A lot of them do have a bf. However, you just aren't good enough from the start to even warrant a shot is basically what it means. They will cheat for the right man.
I was a foreman for the electrical contractor on an elementary school remodel years ago. I was friendly with all the teachers men and women (not intentionally flirty). Me and our electricians did a lot of things in their classrooms to help them out before and after work. For example someone donated an 8' wide role of paper and the teacher in question asked me to cut it in to (4) 2' sections. The assistant principal asked me to do a career day presentation. I spoke of my kids frequently, scouts, camping, brought them to the jobsite to hangout, etc. same teacher ended up with my younger son in her classroom entertaining her for an hour or so. Evidently I was not clear that I was married and no one thought to ask. About 6 months into the project another one of the teachers we were friendly with approached me for her and said "Miss? is extremely shy and pretty scared of men but she thinks you are a great guy and would like to take you out to dinner." I was stunned and flattered, it was the 1st time as an adult a women had approached me like that. When she saw my surprise she immediately tried to back it down. I told her I was flattered but I was married. The asking teacher begged me not to talk about it among the crew. I told her it would never leave this area and kept my word. I felt like an ass. 1) for evidently slighting my wife by not talking about her around other women 2) for safety reasons I rarely wore my wedding band at work so I didn't have a tan line so I made my self look single and I was ashamed of that. and 3) for hurting the teachers feelings. I think what bothered me the most was that she never spoke to me again. The teacher that approached me told me that she was mortified and couldn't talk to me because she was so embarrassed. Looking back I would bet some asshole hit her or just treated her like crap. I hope she found her guy.
As a guy, I don't have any platonic relationships with women. No need for it. Acquaintances with women are fine, if it's a normal setting, such as work.
Switch the genders and no one would have sympathy for the guy. He would shamed for not seeing her as a person and only seeing women as conquest. Especially if he stopped talking to her.
#1: I've had a woman approach me four times in my whole adult life. Only two of those times were what I would call "shooting her shot." And I'm 55. I think I'm a fairly average guy doing average things, so I feel like three or four times is consistent with the average guy's experience. But for most guys (when women rate 80% of men as 'below average'), that number is probably closer to zero. Ladies, if you ever approach a man and it seems like he doesn't know how to react because he's never been approached by a woman, it's probably because he hasn't. How many times is the average woman doing average things approached in nearly four decades? She probably doesn't even know how many times she was approached this year. So it's pretty rare and each instance forms a memory and an image of what she looked like even if you never saw her before then, or again after. Once at a Megadeth show. Once by one of my sister's friends. Once at a party by a friend (?) of my girlfriend at the time. Once in my new house when the neighbor came over with beers. For a little bit of context; I've been in more car accidents than I've been approached by a woman. I've been robbed as many times as I've been approached by a woman. I've changed careers more times than I've been approached by women. I've been within the 50m blast radius of a 60mm mortar round just as often; so I've had about the same probability of getting hit by mortars shooting their shot as getting hit by women shooting their shot.
As a guy, I'm so socially awkward/unaware that I might be approached by a woman but never realize it. I'll think back to an encounter weeks/years prior and wonder if that girl was interested in me. I'm so bad with non-verbal queues that I never make the connection in the moment. It would be easier if a woman just communicated with words and not made it a big puzzle/guessing game, then progress might be made lol. My point is, for me, there may be some bias in counting the exact number of times I've been approached.
@@Optimization-pc8olI’m also really socially awkward and introverted. That’s gone when I’m around a select group of friends and close family I hold dear, but in all other situations… I’m probably kind of a plant in the room. Sometimes I’ve had an interaction and in hindsight where I’m like: “Did she had something of an interest in me?” It comes down to assumption and the assumption shall be ‘No, probably not’. I’ve never been in a relationship, nor have I asked anyone out. I have seen some people who seemed interesting from afar but I just don’t know enough about them. I get that you can get to know them more by interacting… but, like I said, generally socially awkward and I never, ever approach people, let alone someone I might be romantically attracted to. As of now, I’m not rushing to get into a relationship. I’m interested to see what it’s like, but I’m doing fine single and I’d much rather take the time to find someone and get to know her than to rush forward with the first person I bump into.
I agree that men aren’t approached by women. I was always told by women that I was a very attractive man, but I had terrible self-esteem issues and believed that I was ugly for decades of my life. I learned afterwards from some friends that many, many women were attracted to me and desperately wanted to be with me but wouldn’t approach me ever. As uncommon and weird as this sounds, I’m sure it’s more common than it appears on the outside.
Mhm. I have sometimes texted my friends telling them how amazingly handsome are some men I find, or how nice they seem. I just do never tell them, because I do not want romantic stories yet, and it could be misleading.
I have a hard time believing that if Brad Pit was poor and unknown , he wouldn’t be asked out by women because of his looks . I think women give attention to the very few men that they find physically attractive , however , women find less than 20 percent of men “attractive”.
It's a blessing in disguise. Once you have better things to do than sex, you can just ignore them and they will break their own hearts without ever disturbing you.
This explains so much. I have an ex who told me that I was the best boyfriend she'd ever had, but that she couldn't be in a relationship with me because she couldn't control me through the threat of a breakup. She said she's too insecure to be in a relationship where she doesn't have leverage over her SO. It's not that I never did anything for her, it's just that she could tell that when I did, it was because I had nothing else to do that I felt was a higher priority, and it really bothered her that she couldn't get me to do things like call in sick to work unless I was actually sick, or literally quit my job, sell my house and move across country with her at a moment's notice. I'm not sure I know my worth, but I do know what not being codependent is worth.
Yeah my ex-wife use to try the same crap.... time for work/acts like it's time to be affectionate, threatened divorce/wants to buy a new house....like wtf. Nothing but games/lies/middle school behavior. My first and last marriage ended over 20 years ago, and she's been playing games her whole life, currently on her 4th Marriage
I didn’t think much of it at the time because I was young, but now I am older I realise and understand how much courage and strength it takes to ask a girl out. Thankful to all the men who asked me out in my life. Guys rock ❤
Cheers to you! I found one. Actually made it to age 39 before getting married - and I made her wait two years to really get to know one another. I definitely was ready to remain a bachelor, and I was prepared to break it if necessary, but she made the cut & I don’t often miss single life…
I think your comments are spot on. I am a senior man and have been approached by women younger than me and have not accepted their invitations. When I was younger the dynamic of having to approach a woman was the norm but there was always the confusion of not only what to say but how not to come off as inappropriate. As for putting in the effort, I have been with women that put in the effort and they were so enjoyable to spend time with. I am not married but have been with my partner for 30 years and do consider myself married in my heart, no piece of paper can make the bond if the heart is not in it. I have seen several of your videos and find you to be able to define so much of the complexities of relationships it is quite enjoyable. Thanks.
Number one is so true and happened all the time when I would go out for dinner, drinks and dancing at the local , women would approach and start a conversation and I was always polite and never flirted . They would often ask for my number and I would reply "My wife would not appreciate that " and they would never believe me and get so angry with many causing a scene . My wife was the manager of this establishment and would rescue me with a smile and the question to the girl "who are you" and "what's going on with my husband " the look on their faces was priceless .
You absolutely nailed the power dynamic in the relationship. My wife has chased away the few friends I had early on in our relationship. And she did it subtly to make me think it was my idea. Learning through therapy she’s been manipulating me for years now.
I have a built in manipulation identifier and whenever the girl goes into manipulation mode, it's over. So now I am older, I have a great dog, and I can't find any woman who doesn't almost immediately go into some kind of game that I am supposed to play along with or else. Occasionally I will meet a woman who doesn't do these things and before you know it I find out she is married. It is so hard to find, that any single woman who is like that will get snatched up very quickly. So if it happens to me I need to be ready to move quickly.
My x used to try to separate me from my family. It took me a while to figure out what she was doing. She had weird disparaging names for my seven brothers
Personally I never kept too many friends so my girlfriends usually had me to theirselves. I tend to make my girlfriend everything I need in any relationship
My first dating rejection was at summer camp at 8 years old. I found out this girl only did stuff with me because my sister asked her too, all while she had eyes for an older boy. I stopped asking girls out after that. Only ended up actually dating and marrying my wife from a misunderstanding that just.... worked. 11 years in now and going strong.
@michaelsong9307 me being dense about the questions she was asking mainly. She worked at a movie theater and had free vouchers to let people in. I was invited and she asked if we should have dinner before the show. My thought was, cheaper than consession food, her thought was date.
I came across you're channel ....... all I have to say is wow. I just totally subscribed to you're channel. Finally a woman that understands men LOL 😆🤩. Keep up the great content. You defiantly gave me hope.
Not all men are immune to rejection. I had asked several women out and got rejected. Most of the women that I asked out were those I worked with. I asked a girl out and she accepted but sadly she strung me along for about a month. Every time I tried to pick a day to go out she said she was busy then I had decided to give up and she had said that she really was interested. Finally we agreed on a day and time. I took the car and washed it and vacuumed it. Then I drove home and made the phone call only to wake up her mother who had told me that her daughter had gone out with her friends. That hurt quite a bit. Even worse when she was playing some kind of game and had no intention of ever really going out with me.
Been there, but not at work. I still don't understand this behaviour, it baffles me. I learned to read that attitude early on and move on quicker. She might have been scared, or too "shy" to reject you, wtv I don't care.
This explains so much of the behavior I have experienced with women. Thanks for breaking it down Emily. However, if women want to be considered 'equal' , you cannot have it both ways all the time. Guys have to put in more effort, more time, more work, more attention, more money, more energy, more planning, more risk, more everything it seems!....In this era of 'equality' , what exactly does the woman bring to the relationship to balance all that out???
In the modern part of the world this is just not even an issue at all.. It is so funny to observe :D Why do you guys want a whore as your girlfriend? :D
As a man born in the 1980s Yugoslavia, I definitely had the upbringing that resulted in me being my own support system, so the "men feel invisible" hits the nail on the head. Basically ever since I was a kid, I was taught to rely on myself alone.
@@dontstalkmedeltoro8816What do you mean ? How can you teach yourself a skill that you won’t ever need as a result of your gender ? Women will never feel invisible in this society, even if they are obese they still receive attention and compliments from the opposite gender , and they are still asked out on dates and they know what it feels like to be treated as a human being . I guess what you are saying is like a man who was been rich all his life , claiming that he taught himself how not to depend on food in order to survive .
I feel that one. I think for that reason, that catch phrase of "Maximum Effort!!" by Deadpool's character really resonates with a damn lotta men on some level.
Rejection is something we as boys learn from a young age, not because of women, but because of other men. Example: you play football between classes, the last one picked are told, without words, that they suck ass and probably are fat. In all sport from a young age we learn hierarchy, women simply don't.
I was that fat kid who was last to be picked what it did for me was drove me to a life time of fitness im now 60 and train 3 mornings and five afternoons a week every year i post a picture of my gains on FB on my birthday im the fittest person i know ( personally) even compaired to people 20 years my junior,it taught me to be better and prove I can be better than them,
@@vitzuja5943 That is a form of rejection for sure,you're certainly getting a message that you're not wanted or seen as worthy or capable enough to be picked high up in the pecking order.
Your list already ensures that most of the men are better off without a girlfriend, but.... How the heck did you miss that most women can not take responsibility for their own actions?
the host being a woman would never hold herself accountable for missing this one - even as it is the most universally understood characteristic of women
Holy shit. You nailed it @hiftu. They can’t and never will. Women don’t use the phrase the devil made me do it. They look at the man they are with and say He made me do it.
Like those women who beat their spouse, and then say, "Look what you made me do." Oh wait, that's men. I see men blaming "feminists," or women in general, for their own bad behavior all the time. I've noticed that it is not the case that men are more rational or accountable...they're just very accomplished in conveniently unseeing all the ways they're irrational or refuse to take responsibility.
I've been single for twenty years, couldn't care less. Some women are single for five minutes and its the end of the world. They'll go on Tik Tok and cry, or hit the dating scene in a mad panic. If only the average woman could walk a day in the shoes of an average single man! By the way, Emily, you're by far the best online advisor on this subject. 🤠👍
In my observation, it's been a lot more men falling apart when their spouse dies or leaves them. I've seen it firsthand. Like someone I know who, two months after his wife died, brought a random woman off the internet to live with him because he couldn't bear to be alone. She mentally and verbally abused him, and brought in a bunch of her loser family to be non-working parasites living off him. He tolerated all this like a fool because he was desperate.
1. Not handling rejection => Expecting Initiative 2. Not handling low effort => Expecting Initiative 3. Not handling lack of attention=> Expecting Initiative 4. Trying to hold all the power => Ruining Initiative 5. Being replaced by someone better => The Natural Result Single life as a man is better than a constant power struggle with an insecure woman. Most women would gain so much from just giving up and putting all their trust in good men. But they never will.
Women have a sell by date in the form of OVARIES. After a certain age these start to churn out defective eggs. Bollocks are on the outside for a very good reason. and as long as they were not tightly warmly held by Y fronts but coolly kept from view by loose fitting boxer shorts ones jizz is normal up to sort of Fiftyish.
I found out what a narcissist is the hard way from my recent ex. After reading for a year about narcissists and their behavior patterns. Yes. A lot of weak minded inferior beta men are narcissists, as I already kind of knew. What I didn't know before. Is most "strong independant women, and modern feminists", are also narcissists. Narcissists are to be avoided, period. Nobody has ever been able to help or cure a narcissist. They see nothing wrong with their manipulation and abuse. They are sociopaths and psychopaths. That is why so many men, myself included. Refuse to date western women at all any more. Finding that one good single female out of ten thousand bad ones. Simply isn't worth all the suffering.
I think a majority have traits like my ex. I've noticed the males growing up are also displaying the traits. Unfortunately, the West praises narcissism.
Control freaks are common among women. When you do a household chore, and she complains that it's not done correctly because you didn't do it her way, it's a clear warning sign that it's time to leave... My own wife didn't like how I did the laundry, for example. A healthy behavior on her part was to say: "Okay, I'll do the laundry from now on". Deviant behavior would have been to (try to) yell at me to change my habits and do it HER way, instead of being happy that I was doing my share of chores. And the normal behavior is to say: "Thank you for doing the laundry, honey". For other chores, my wife consistently had the same reaction: either she thanks me, or if my way of doing it annoys her, she does it herself without the SLIGHTEST reproach afterward - she knows it's HER issue not to tolerate my method, so she takes responsibility. So, it's a pretty simple test to do in a new relationship: as soon as she asks you to do something in the house, do it like a blockhead, meaning poorly or halfway, and come tell her it's done with a childlike smile as if it were the first time you went pooping by yourself. And observe her reaction. If she thanks you despite wide-eyed looks, that's all good. If she starts redoing it her way but exonerating you (like "Oh, wait, I'm used to it being like this, I'm picky about it... Hold on, I'll take care of it, go sit down, it's nice of you to have done the bulk!"), that's all good. If she makes the SLIGHTEST complaint or, worse, asks you to do it again, run. Quickly.
Thanks for the enlightening video. I experienced rejection my whole life for a variety of reasons. I am used to it by now as an adult. When I was 5, none of my cousins on my dad's side of the family wanted to play with me because I was too young; they were 2 or 3 years older than me. That really hurts as a child when someone rejects you out of some petty reason. Same in elementary school. Fortunately my mom wanted nothing to do with my dad's side of the family when I was 8 for personal reasons so I never saw my a-hole cousins again and don't miss them.
Regarding men being rejected, when I was 3, I was in love with my sister's friend Kim who was 5. One day they were playing at our house, and when Kim looked my way I smiled at her, but she gave me a very mean scowl in return. It horrified me at the time and affected me for years. (If rejection seems easy on men, in many cases they're just being civil and hiding it.)
Where I grew up, if a boy looked or stared too long at a girl who didn’t find him cute, she was likely to ask loudly, “Did you get your jollies?” to embarrass him.
When I was 6, we had a costume party at my kindergarten. There was supposed to be some dancing and the teacher told us, boys, to ask the girls to dance with us. All boys rushed to ask the girls and I asked the one I liked and she rejected me, while all other girls around agreed to dance with the boys. The fact that I was the only boy rejected (from what I could see) has shaped my entire life. It made me feel like there must have been something fundamentaly unattractive about me for the next 20 or so years. I would basically never approach or pursue any female for the rest of my life. I would also develop some kind of a reciprosexual/reciproromantic attitude when I would only ever develop interest/crush on a girl if she seemed to have one on me first. But since females rarely take initiative, my crushes often wouldn't go beyond getting excited that a girl was staring at me at every opportunity. There were girls who tried to do more than that, though. My subconscious convicton about being unattractive was so hardwired into my brain that only.in my mid to late twenties did I reflect back and realise how often girls pursued me or at least hinted at interest in me when I was in my teens. When I was younger, I would often repress those memories and never think about all of them at the same time- I would have an impression that there were much fewer of these instances that what had actually occured! For a guy so introverted and so avoiding of socialising, I've received an astonishing amount of female attention, compliments etc. But I was so messed up emotionally that it never led to anything. I wouldn't have experienced even something like handholding or a proper hug until I was 23, which is something I resent nowadays because those things don't taste the same anymore when I'm older so I will never be able to make up for this lack of experience from the times when I was still young and excited about those things. :( So yeah. It's not so much that men always handle rejection better than women, we just tend to handle it more "internally" so that the outside world often doesn't even realise how much it affected us. I think it's down to the fact that males tend to not receive as much emotional reassurance as females, so we just shut up because we know that speaking about anything directly or even indirectly will turn out to be a negative experience.
#5 is spot on. My Ex (who I work with) couldn’t handle that I moved on. She also told me the other day that I looked so happy in the photos….what photos? So she’s an online stalker now and I don’t even have any social media - so she’s stalking my now wife 😂
You mostly nailed it, but I have a couple reservations. 1. Rejection. Some men fear it and/or are just sick of it. Some men simply avoid the possibility of rejection by staying single. But we do handle it way better then women. That brings a possible number 6: Accepting and even enjoying staying single. 4. Power dynamic. While there are definitely women who dominate a man's life, some are very recessive and mold themselves to whatever the man wants. It depends on the woman.
I have opted out of the whole dating game. Funny how when a guy stops looking, women come out of the woodwork everywhere suddenly interested. I treat them just as I've been treated through the years. I say no. Some persist. I say no again. Then some want to know why. I tell the truth; that I'm done with the drama, I've found my peace and no-bod-ee is going to disrupt my peace. The mild reactions range from "oh, well, your loss." to her getting huffy and storming off usually with an insult tossed back as she leaves. Several have up and tried to slap me. Then get even angrier when I catch the wrist or hand she's trying to slap me with and accuse me of assaulting her. One got tossed from the bar as the barkeep had witnessed the entire exchange. No, women can't handle rejection at all. Most seem to behave like spoiled children who have been told they can't have a cookie from the cookie jar. If things were truly equal, there'd be a couple-three women out there with broken noses courtesy of me. Don't take a swing at me if you can't accept the consequences of me defending myself. Women want equality; you *almost* have the complete package now. When you are truly treated the same as men, I hope you're happy with your bruised egos and ribs. I'm just blown away at the idea a 5' something 135 lb Karen thinks she can freely take a swing at a 6' + 220 lb gorilla and get away with it just because he doesn't want anything to do with her. Also, I don't make enough money to keep any of you interested, so take the shortcut and walk away. Emily, you're one in a million. I wish more women had just a smidge of your understanding and sensibility. For most men, that level of understanding is just a fantasy that draws us to a channel like yours.
I've witnessed women aggressively approaching and cussing out men who are much bigger and stronger than they are in public. If a male stranger did the same thing to another male, he would likely get his ass kicked. 1) The woman naively thinks she is a tough badass because men have always backed away when she acts aggressively. (She has just been fortunate that the men she pulls this stuff on have been conditioned by society not to hit a woman). 2) She has never been in a physical altercation or competition with a man. (So she truly has no understanding how much more strength and striking power a typical man has compared to a woman of similar weight). 3) She's drunk and stupid
Yup. I make 70k which is good in my trade. But it's not a drop in the bucket for the life every woman wants. So ...single at 47. And it's not going to change. The single independent women out here are narcissistic alcoholics.
1. Not handling rejection => Expecting Initiative 2. Not handling low effort => Expecting Initiative 3. Not handling lack of attention=> Expecting Initiative 4. Trying to hold all the power => Ruining Initiative 5. Being replaced by someone better => The Natural Result When women try to hold the power, men are better off single.
I believe that when women take "I have a girlfriend" as a rejection, it's because they use "I have a boyfriend" as a rejection. For them, it's a way to let the guy down easily, and I understand completely since there are men who will become angry or creepy when rejected. I believe that when a woman hears "I have a girlfriend" they believe that they are being let down easy in the same way.
I count a woman saying "I have a boyfriend" as a form of rejection but I respect her for it. I actually think more highly of her for it. She's faithful and that's a good thing. I had been turning down women during the years immediately following my divorce because I felt that trying to begin a new relationship would have gotten in the way of me healing and learning from the whole thing. I rejected one woman and she took it so hard and handled it so badly that I figured out how to sorta make women lose interest in me but not have to technically reject them. I was far more comfortable with self denigrating myself and taking the "L" instead of dealing with hurting women even if I didn't know them. I also didn't want to discourage them from approaching men in the future. I actually think women should be more active in their love lives and approaching men is part of that. But I do think women are capable of taking rejection if they became more accustomed to it. If it was more of a social norm. So if it were more normalized that they approach men then they would naturally become more accustomed to handling rejection and get better at it.
They're generally more emotional, and especially negative emotion really hits hard with them. That is why women are more social to begin with, they rely upon close friends and project far more often. Many people do not ponder why, but turn looking for something or someone to blame. When it comes to rejection it's not only just relationships but many aspect of life such as in careers, etc...
Meh... assuming she isn't lying, then "I have a boyfriend" doesn't mean she doesn't find you attractive. So, I don't see it as the same thing as rejection myself.
@@Trifler500 yes you have a point but it's still a "No". But I don't feel as much of a sting because of it. Probably for the reason you mention it's not "no you're ugly" it's "you were late to the plate".
Emily, thanks for this insight. That said, it begs the question to what does she bring to the table, besides her body, that makes her worth the enormous once sided investiture necessary in the hope of "she'll pick me"? Women demand equality, but only when it works for them. It's ironic that your very insightful analysis should serve as an outline of what woman to avoid!
I did happen one at the gym. I saw a redhead and I made the “first move” and I engage with conversation and then ask to exchange numbers. Then we said “I have a boyfriend” and then I said never mind. And later that day while I was juggling on the bike track I saw her with a group of friends and the tall black man next seen to be her boyfriend. In other words she isn’t lying.
3 was especially true for me. I was a social outcast pretty much from day one. I was ignored so much that I could cross a room completely packed with people and probably have none of them even notice. I got so used to it that recieving any amount of attention kinda felt wrong. Being ignored was the norm for me for about 80% of my life.
same my friends were bugs and my own imagination, I remember feeding a popcorn spider during recess 3rd grade. I did some sports top batter on the team had to quit due to being pelted so many times (I hated it, people only saw me for what I could do for the team but not be my friend), never went to birthday parties, never hung out, only fam on my block with kids my age. my parents felt so bad that they talked another fam into getting there kid to try to be my friend, cuz we were both special needs kids. I mean I can kinda understand I was an angary kid from 6th to 12th. 34 years old now I have a a bro I can call a genuine friend. And the ladies I only get a notice from them when they need something like moving/lifting/carrying something. I've gotten on a couple that they only seem to want me around when they want something and give nothing in return. it's not like I'm demanding a blowie, pay me back for the wasted time or don't ask for my help. I could've been doing my own things.
#6. Being wrong. It's impossible for most woman to be wrong about anything, ever. It's just spoiled and juvenile behavior. It happens with both women and men, but that slant is like 90/10. Guys get called out and told off for that nonsense, but girls seem to get away with it.
It absolutely is. Completely immature regardless of gender. Parents have to raise their kids right . There are definitely good women and some are entitled brats.
that's because so many women set up their own cheerleading clubs and yell, "you go, girl!!" every time one of them humiliates a guy. then they turn around and stab each other in the back.
Dated a girl who got mad at me because other men would offer her things while we were dating like taking her on vacation and she got upset because I hadn't done that.
Simps are literally ruining jt for everyone else.. i had a co worker.. definitely a simp. Working 2 jobs and paying for his “girlfriend” bills amd shit he doesnt even get anything back.. just pays them for her, her credit cards and shit. Like why tf are dudes doing this when youre not even married
Coming from an older woman (58). If a woman expects you to take her on vacation while you’re just dating she doesn’t care about you, she cares about what you can give her. Don’t become a bank for any woman! If she can’t share responsibility with you, run. Run fast. Because when if you marry her she will drain your account and you will be working to support her she will not contribute, then she will leave you because you can’t give her that huge house she wants. Find a woman who wants you, not one who needs you.
I just realized something after listening to this. Four out of five of these things are things that are activities that are feeding narcissism. The need to be worshiped, the self valuation, the being offended if enough attention is not paid to you, all of it… Women are often the first ones to label someone as narcissistic and hate on them, but it's often because it's competition, rather than something they detest I said this about my ex and her mom. She will call her mother a narcissist from now to kingdom come, but she is exactly the same. Interesting video, it kind of clears some things up, or at least proves the point of what I've been suspecting
The amount of effort one you mentioned spoke to me. I dated a woman who kept pushing me away and resisting me and kept talking about ending the relationship. I would encourage her to give it more time, more of a chance - there were circumstances that made the relationship strained. But at some point, as you can probably understand, I was just getting tired of putting in all the effort, trying to make it work. So eventually I eased off, and of course, she took that to mean I wasn't interested and I didn't care about her - .... urgh - forget it! xD
This type of woman are the worst they want the chase basically and don't actually know what they really want or desire.This type often cheat cause they act on impulse better to leave them once you find out cause when a woman wants you and likes you they don't play games they are real with you about what they really want.
Because she's playing a game with you, one with no definable rules, no declaration of purpose or how to win or play. Magical whims and escalating expectations define the backdrop, and if you think you have figured one out, they are automatically changed. Spatial mechanics on curved manifolds is far easier to decipher.
Thank you Emily for helping us better understand with excellent information. Appreciate what you do and enduring the negative side of the Internet. Positive thoughts for you and those close to you.
Spot on, from a man. Been married three times. You are spot on, not only in this video, but for the great most part in all your content. Thanks. Keep up the good work. Your man is very fortunate.
I think women can handle not being in the position of power in the relationship. I think its actually preferred and feels natural. The relationships they leave, often because they feel icked or stressed out from, are those where they are in the position of power. Often the guys they go running after are the guys who put the woman in a lesser position. And honestly most women don't see a guy as attractive unless he is better than her in every way. Now I think women want to have power, but once they get it they can't handle it.
I think it also depends on the femininity for example I like to not have all of the responsibility. And when my man makes the decisions. When we see a man who is emotional intelligent, not controlling with us and very masculine we naturally let the man being in the "spotlight" it's when we feel secure with a man. Emotionally, spiritually, and understood. When a man only gives us physical protection it's not enough for us to thrive in our femininity. So we get the Feeling we have to control everything by ourself to feel safe. Woman who don't want to step back are probably not that feminine and need to work more on being a healthy woman. But you know people are different. So there are definitely different woman and man. Handling a relationship
@@Mymoon_laaaaaaaaaadiiieeesss well said. yes, i think them not stepping back is because of them not being feminine, but I think most of that is because there isn't a force in their life that is masculine. That is either they are single or they don't feel that their man is properly filling their masculine roll. as ridiculous as women sound when they say something like, "he needs to be masculine for me to feel safe to be in my feminine" i believe them. That when a man in a woman's life is masculine she naturally will start to fall into a feminine disposition. I think the masculine behavior is a defense mechanism. They don't have a (strong) father or husband and so they have to be the man they desire in order to protect themselves.
It's case by case, of course, but as an example, I'm in a divorce because my wife couldn't handle not having control ... while simultaneously insisting I "step up and lead the relationship." Every time I did so, she nitpicked it and discounted 100% of my efforts because it wasn't exactly how she would've done it. In hindsight I should've followed my gut to hold off on marriage, but then I would've likely taken even longer to learn a lot of important lessons. Point is: I most definitely agree with Emily that there are women who want to have the greater control over the relationship, whether for good, bad, or neutral reasons. The best relationships are even in this dynamic, shared control, both autonomous and supporting the other.
@@closethockeyfan5284 i get what you are saying but even there she expressed "wanting you to lead". I don't think her problem was not being able to let go of leading or not being in control but a problem many women get into. They think everything has to be done there way. Or if it isn't done there way it isn't done correctly. They don't realize that there are many different ways to approach a problem. It is less about wanting to be in control and more about not being grateful. It is her nitpicking that stresses women out in a relationship which leads to problems and an eventual split. Now I think their push towards "being in control" or "nitpicking" comes from a desire to be safe and secure. This comes off as trying to be in control, but I think its more of an expression of the woman trying to express the man not being properly masculine in one way or another. They can't quite put words to it, but they know its making them feel off and stressed.
I went with a girl. Every few months she would stage a psychologically abusive headgame. (Men have the physical power; women have the psychological power.) She would say we should break up. After a few years of this, I finally left her for a younger woman. She did this to the next guy, the alpha Chad of our group. She finally dumped him. The third guy would have sex with her but never commit. He never allowed her to play her head game. He had all the power. She called him the love of her life. She's now 53 with a perpetually impotent unemployed guy. She has pulled the headgame on him for ten years, but he won't leave. She is terrified of being alone. She tried to get back with me. I told her, I have never dated a woman over 29. Women half my age approach me, so no thanks to your baggage and your headgames. She tried to get back with the second guy she dated, the alpha Chad. He wouldn't even see her. She is going to end up as a bag lady, (because she hates cats.) Wandering around with fifty bags talking to herself. A woman who feels equal to a man always feels like she can do better. If she is not looking up to him, she looks down on him. Women today think it's Sex and the City, with quality men chasing women well into their fifties. They are nuts.
The list is great and really well explained! Im gonna throw an ounce of shade at rejection. Even if we're "used to it" if we actually want someone, there's nothing more personal than that kind of rejection.
I agree with the need for attention. I was married to my late wife for over 40 years. The absolute worst thing I could do to her was to ignore her. I could treat her good or bad and that was OK, but just ignoring her would drive her out of her mind. She couldn't stand it and would do everything she could to get me to pay attention to her. When I did start paying attention to her, she became really clingy to me.
So you mentally abused her? Why would you ever ignore your wife? That's a really sad story. All she wanted was to feel loved by you and you played games. That's really sad.
@@dontstalkmedeltoro8816What makes you think that he ignored her for no reason ? My guess is that he used such strategy whenever she was screaming at him , complaining about little things, physically abusing him , etc.
You are absolutely on target with all five statements, Emily. My first serious girlfriend would have checked off every one of them multiple times. As you were listing them, my mind was replaying memories of her that corroborated everything you were saying.
Well I did learn that a woman that wants to be the stronger can be. I learned that a young age. Yep she can jump on Mr Happy more than once until he spits dust. If she wants to. DO NOT expect that if you marry her. She has already shown you who the boss is.
Emily- You have such great insight; and your delivery is so clear & pleasant. (not to mention your physical beauty) Thank you for everything you do, for us.
First time watcher. 1. Totally agree. Every time I rejected an approach from a woman they go volatile. 2. If it gets to 70/30, it isn’t worth the effort. 3. Depends on how they grow up. My older niece just got married & growing demanded attention.. The younger one, by 2.5 years, doesn’t feel urgent to settle down. 4. Power struggles are an issue. If the dynamics change & the relationship doesn’t evolve/develop, it causes issues. Look at TBBT. Howard/Bernadette evolved with B in the superior position. Although she would struggle to gain the house in a divorce. Leonard/Penny in the opposite direction. P is devoted to L despite being more financially stable. 5. After a split, the ex (communications pro) thought I started dating a nurse 5 years younger than her. Doesn’t help when the ex believes every negative rumour about me. I accept all this is cannon fodder for future ideas.
I attended a group workshop, led by a licensed psychologist, and of course we were talking about men and women and relationships. To the group was this; “If a woman approaches a man and asks him on a date she will, in fact, be the controller of the relationship for its entire life. So men be careful if a woman asked you out, she may have ulterior motives and you may be controlled to the extent that you will lose your guy friends and not feel very good about yourself.
well, tbh i cant handle rejection anymore. it happend so often that it literally drove me into depression that i stoped doing anything that can lead to rejection. i guess its about 2 factors: getting 80% rejection and 20% positive outcames is not euqal, but good enough to keep trying. 99 to 1 is a different story. and the second parts: your mental strenght, how much does rejection afflict you?. also the "no thanks i have a boyfriends" always felt like rejection to me.. why? because ive seen countless times, that the right guy apporaching a women who is in a relationship basically snags her away because she eighter lies about it and says shes single, or is considering to jump on that new train. any no, is aimed towards you, but that no, isnt set in stone for every guy out there. so the boyfriend is no circumstance, in that guys case, hes not even a obstacle. and youre right about the invisbility. iam 38 now, and since iam 34, i basically played by the same rule, not seeing. meaning any situation i see a women, thats need help, direction or attention, ill acitivly overlook her
Honestly though, would you want a woman who are not loyal and would leave her current partner for that “right” man? In my mind, I would rather be rejected by all women who are faithless and if that means I am rejected by all women, so be it. Right now, you can focus on being the best version of yourself without the distractions of a faithless or narcissistic woman. You can also learn to handle rejection in a healthy way like going after jobs that are uncomfortable for you or trying to become friends with people that have the traits you wish to learn. Always grow. Always strive to become better.
no, i wouldnt. iam just saying that no matter what the downside of that is, the boyfriend excuse isnt a universal no and if youre not interested in longterm releation with that women anyway, theres no problem for you. iam not sure if i should learn to handle it better, what for, to keep getting rejected, but not suffer as much? it doesnt change the end goal. its like learning to life with chronic pain, when all you want, is the pain to go away. growing and become a better version of yourself isnt easy, if your default is almost the exact opposite of what the average women wants and youre not as fit anymore, after suffering from a stroke and beeing on disability pension@@eyekhan6099
As a man rejection starts early. Like being picked last for team sports. When a girl says no we move on. I've always put in more effort in relationships. I've learned I can't keep it up forever. Men can be comfortable alone. #5 I've never experienced as I've never cared what my exes thought. If they wanted to keep me they all knew what I expected I never kept it a secret. One gf whom I had a conversation about her lack of effort said I can't give you what you want. I'm not expecting more than 8m giving. She said I know. The most honest conversation I ever had with a gf. We broke up but I respected her.
Great video Emily! How about a video about the little things a woman can do to make her man feel on top of the world? Example: One of the few times my ex-wife did something like that for me. I was at the computer answering email, I was jonesing about a lot of things, just generally having a lousy day. She came up and hugged me from behind and said she loved me and that she believed in me! I felt like I could take on the whole world after that! It was just a momentary thing, but it made my whole year! Thanks again for all the work you're doing! It is greatly appreciated by all of us men who are looking for a woman who hopefully is following your lead!!!
I disagree with number one, though I'm perhaps admittedly an outlier. My early life was filled with nothing but rejection from others. I never fit in. My interests diverged from my peers. Life was pain, hurt, and loneliness. There came a point when I figured out that you can't be rejected if you don't try. I became comfortable being alone and doing my own thing. There's no way, especially in today's world, where I'd walk up to an unknown woman I found attractive and ask for a date. There's a 99% chance I'd suffer rejection again, and probably a 10% chance that she'd ask the manager of whatever store we were at that I be removed for "stalking" her. It's just not worth it. Women, if you see a guy you'd like to know better, TALK TO HIM and make it obvious you are fishing for a date. I'd be clueless as to your intentions otherwise and assume you were just being chatty. I'd be friendly back but not assume interest.
Anyway, you handled rejection better than a woman... Because you found a solution to avoid it, and probably NEVER COMPLAINED ABOUT IT but here. Also, you didn't go medieval to these women who rejected you, right? Dude, no man LIKES rejection, but maybe some deeply masochistic guys. We handle it, but we don't like it. On the other hand, women don't like rejection too, but they CAN'T HANDLE IT. At all. And if they go the same path you went to, then you'll hear them complaining about it CONSTANTLY - and often on social networks - so they can appear as VICTIMS. Did you tried to play the victim because of these rejection you had to endure? Probably never, right? So you're just proving this point... And to solve your problem of being alone, go overseas, bro. I did that, I'm happier than ever now.
Women will never take the initiative; "That's the man's job." Women don't take responsibility, and can't or won't think logically. Manipulation of others is their coin. Many women are children in adult bodies. Avoid them. Paying for an escort is a bargain compared to marriage.
In 2015 I "rejected" my wife of 9 years by divorcing her. She still hasn't gotten over to this day. She has bounced from relationship to relationship and can't do better. If she hadn't checked herself out of rehab three times we would still be together.
All five of these things come from constant competition! Rejection, attention, ability to bounce back, make the best out of a bad situation. You learn these things during sports, games, growing up with brothers.
#3 is a big one and I think a majority of women don’t have any realistic idea of what NO attention looks like. Boys learn from a very young age that they need to be their own support system. To be honest, I think if most women experienced the lack of attention that men are accustomed to, it would absolutely crush their self esteem. I don’t mean this in a hurtful way, I just wish more women understood this.
#3. Men like peace and quiet, especially after a hard days work. They withdraw into a comfort zone. Being zoned out doesn't mean he is ignoring the partner. Just pondering a problem or recharging the batteries. Women need attention all the time. Positive is good but negative is better than nothing. This I think is the root of drama and the motive of drama queens.
They have no concept of true loneliness. November is hunting season, So I took some vacation days and went hunting. At one point I realized I hadn't spoken a word in four days. I sent a daily text to family to let them know I was safe. But not a word spoken.
@@hightechredneck8587 sounds like heaven to many men. The quite, the loneliness, no chatter or noise.
@@Theveganshift77 If your everyday is loud chaos, yes, it is pleasing. When your everyday is already quiet loneliness, for an extroverted person, it is like staring into the abyss.
@@Theveganshift77it’s really nice when it’s by choice. Unfortunately most men have that kind of isolation forced upon them.
Having had an abusive narcissist girlfriend was incredibly valuable. I no longer care if I have a woman around or not. Being single is far far better than dealing with crazy people.
Exactly, close relationship has more damage than benefit,
Best relationship experiences i had was the case where i and my girlfriend lived in seperate houses and we used to meet once a week
When she comes to your aprtment to live, the problem starts, she wants to take all control of your life, even you can not go and sit a coffe place because she thinks your money belongs to her, you have to spend only money with her
True, i had same problem with a narcissist girlfriend in my younger years, and after we split up I was alone and happy many, many years. But now a real woman is in my life. We never argue, do things together, respect each other etc. So, belive it or not, they exist still out there. God luck to you also!
NAILED IT!!!!!!
Yep , I feel by experience, exactly what your saying , my only wish is that anyone never has to experience this it will HARM your soul .
I understand from experience. Dated a crazy chick, went well for a while, but she said something to my dad that pissed me off, and I broke it off with not soon after that. I've been happy ever since then.
0:18 Rejection
2:58 Putting in more effort than the other at the beginning of a relationship
4:36 Lack of Attention
5:24 Power dynamic that is not leaning in their favor
6:46 Getting replaced by someone better than them after a breakup
Awesome! Now I don’t have to watch the whole thing! 😆
@@grahambrown1980 how about ' The TRUTH ' !!
@@wilson2455 That should go w/o saying.
Almost 50 years ago I was in a public library reading and a young woman asked me if I was in one of her college classes. I was in the Navy at that time so I answered the explicit question and said no. I didn’t realize she was trying to approach me.
She insisted that I was in her class. I still replied “no.”
Had she said she would like to talk with me I would likely have talked with her for an hour or two. As I told my wife before we got married, “Don’t hint. Be as blunt as driving a tack with a sledgehammer.”
Yeah, because most men do something very, very strange with words that most women cannot fathom; we convey information. We "communicate". We aren't just making sounds to try to make each other feel a certain way.
I can totally relate. I’ve missed so many subtle, cryptic hints from women throughout my life. I’ve told my wife the exact same thing, be blunt and just say it.
Oh man, I feel ya. 10 or so years ago I got approached by a girl at a bar who asked me, repeatedly, if I lived in the same building as her (we actually had crossed paths earlier that night bc a friend of mine lived in her building). I proceeded to say no and tell her where I actually lived and then walked out. I still beat myself up over that one to this day.
@@hans953 My still single 28 year old son is absolutely legendary in his ability to miss "subtle hints".
I feel ya, bro. I'm asperger's, so I had to remind my wife not to beat around the bush and just be totally straightforward. It has helped immensely. :). Before, she would get so frustrated with me that I couldn't read her... didn't "speak her language." Now she can speak mine and I'm better with her.
I have literally been rejected 100% throughout my life after the age of 14. It took me a long time to get happy with being by myself. Now, my standards have gone up immensely. A woman would have to be special for me to give up my happy, carefree life.
Same here. I've been rejected thousands of times. Barely get a sentence in before they find some nasty way of telling me no. I gave up over a decade ago. Any woman that wants to be part of my life now would have a lot to prove they belong in my life. I'm perfectly fine being alone except for a good dog. Gotta have one of those.
I was happy and carefree until I met this girl. I think it was her mission to wipe the smile off my face, she did, but I'm fighting back and completely cut her off. She keeps trying to engage with me but to f'n bad lady you said in a text, "Our meeting was unfortunate."
Happy life, no wife.
Yes. As I hit my 30s a cute body isn't worth the effort anymore.
I watch videos from women decrying where are the men? Men are just not playing the games with all the drama and manipulation. Make a stand and that is it.
You definitely nailed it with the "Men feel invisible" statement. That is absolutely 100% true.
100%, unless you're a Chad
I like invisible.
Then the trick is to not appear invisible. Shake up a person's day with an obscure revealing. Like the other day I said to a random cashier if she thought hotdogs counted as sandwiches and encouraged her to engage in her thoughts. I guarantee she will think about that for at least a min after I disappeared back into the ether.
@@hightechredneck8587 you know... women go to the store to work.
Not to get chatted up by men.
I would feel super uncomfortable with you if you asked me that at work.
Super not what she is there for.
@@dontstalkmedeltoro8816 what is wrong with a little nicety. Women are not mindless robots. But what do I know? I am just a guy who still thinks humanity can get along daily without offending anyone.
Broke up with a woman once who told me "You'll never find anyone like me again" 😎I said "I surely hope not!"
I'm 42 and just a few nights ago had, for the first time my entire life, a woman ask ME out after a night of hanging out together. I was already planning to do the same but she beat me to it and let me tell you, it's a great feeling to be the one actually being pursued a bit for once. 😂 Great video. Agree with everything you talked about!
@@vicarious462 Sorry to hear about your story man. I'm very aware that things like this can happen. One of the many reasons I've stayed single for so long. Appreciate the words of caution!
@@vicarious462 Anyone with children should go to their FATHER for help, She had more than one child? Woman not girl. She was just seeking a bill payer. YOU GOT HAD.
A few years back I asked a girl I thought was cool and attractive for her number and she told me "I don't think my boyfriend would appreciate that." Know what I felt? Pride for her. I thought that was awesome of her and I didn't feel the slightest bit bad because I appreciate loyalty, regardless of who it is.
It feels really nice when they are just honest... you don;t feel like you are being kept for a plan b...
@@michasokoowski6651 Precisely. Btw, I fucking love your PFP. Skaven are best-best.
And you believed that standard line?! 😂😂😂 I'm a male, and I've used that line myself when approached by women I wasn't attracted to! But, I'm glad she let you down gently, and it made you feel better about yourself being rejected! 😂😂😂
#3 - Lack of attention: A female work collegue (~age 55) told me "there is nothing that gets more ignored than an older woman".
I just started to laugh and told her, that this is completely for most man of any age.
- heads will turn turn when you enter a bar
- people won't have eye contact walking down the street
- you will have to call the waiter because they don't even look into your direction
I only experienced 3 times that an unknown woman even smiled into my direction (outside of service jobs) and that was outside of western countries.
Well I experience this multiple times every single day..
Being 6'4" with brown hair and blue eyes, and an active build, I got a little here and there. I looked like the guy she thought she was supposed to be looking for. Unfortunately I was over 40 before I figured out that ladies like tall. Yes, I'm that clueless.
If you are a man of a certain age ( 45 to whatever ) you become invisible on the street. Women will not look your way. Men are so use to this that they no longer even bother to talk to a women unless its for business or to order food.
Single moms with their kids are more ignored
I’ve done both now
Older women don’t want attention anymore tho
I have one woman friend who was VERY attractive in her younger days and she could play mind games with any man she wanted (including myself...up to a point). Somewhere in her late 40s, karma hit her HARD and she had some health issues, put on some weight, lost her youthful good looks and in her desperation for attention, she entered a relationship with a mentally & physically abusive man. After about a year, she left him, had more health issues, put on a lot more weight and became clinically depressed.
Fortunately for her, she did get on top of it all and lost a lot of the weight she gained, but it all took a toll on her on both her looks and self-esteem and now she looks like any other matronly 55 year old woman who's been humbled and knows that her power over men is a thing of the past. A HARSH reality a lot of older women are forced to discover, with the irony being, a lot of older men discover our power over women as we get older
1. Not handling rejection => Expecting Initiative
2. Not handling low effort => Expecting Initiative
3. Not handling lack of attention=> Expecting Initiative
4. Trying to hold all the power => Ruining Initiative
5. Being replaced by someone better => The Natural Result
I noticed this when I saw the stat that the divorce rate is higher when the women makes more money then the men. Since most divorces are initiated by women now days, it shows that they actually want a man to play traditional roles. It seems like women want men to lead, but then they won't call the men the leader. To "step up and not lead" as one feminist put it.
I don't ever want to make a women feel inferior, and I have never thought of them as inferior. But I have started to see the rejection of giving men the title of leader as very disrespectful to men. And looking at how both genders are more unhappy then ever, do people actually want this "equality"?
Wow, a beautiful woman who has logic, compassion, and brains. What a deadly combo you possess. You should do a video on the differences between men and women being accountable for what they do and say. Love the movie with Jack Nicholson where he uses that line to the book publisher's secretary. She asks him how a man can write such deep thoughts of women..him being a man of course...and his retort, "I just take away logic and responsibility." Women use emotion.
Had a situation of couple of years ago where a lady I supervised asked me how to document and resolve a quality control issue she had just experienced. Being in this company for almost 40 years I told her what was necessary to fix it. A few minutes after our conversation I saw her pick up the phone. I just knew something wasn't right. I walked by her and she was speaking to the Director of the company asking the same question she had asked me. After she was done with the phone call I approached her and asked why she had called the Director. She said something like she felt more comfortable with him. I told her i didn't appreciate her doing an end run around me to a higher supervisor. She didn't like that I had called her on that behavior. She began to cry. Needless to say it ended up in the Spanish Inquisition.. She was asked by the manager if the Director had given her any instructions different than what I had given to her. She replied, "No"! I was reprimanded for making her cry. I explained that I had simply said...without curses...without raising my voice...without dirty looks...that I didn't appreciate her calling a Director who was off-duty...and I was being paid extra money to be on-site manager...for her to go behind my back and disturb this Director. It made me look bad. So, I got punished for saying I didn't like what she had done. But I guess even that is no longer even allowed in our work places. So, she can turn on the emotions and cry over a feeling that she was corrected over trumps a supervisor telling her not to do something that she shouldn't have done. Even during the interview the manager told her to follow chain of command. But I got a verbal warning that I should have let it go and brought it up later to a manager. Go figure?!?
"You MADE her cry"
This is what's wrong with her culture.
You were perfectly fair.
She made herself cry.
She should be viewed with contempt, not pity.
😂@@spambot_gpt7
The thing is, she got emotional when you did the same exact thing I would have done in that situation. You were being calm and reasonable in telling her that you didn't appreciate what she had done. What she did going to a higher supervisor was disrespectful to you, and you let her know about it. And they had the audacity to discipline you for it! Wow! What a load of BS! All because she didn't listen to you explaining how the process was done.
Does this make her a unicorn?
"Trust not a woman when she weeps, for it is her nature to weep when she wants her will." Socrates. I had one tough mom and three sisters; and tears in a business setting never worked on me when I had to deal with incredibly careless screwups. In fairness, the older women at work were even more dismissive of tears than I was. There are still strong women but a lot fewer with every new generation.
There is an old adage: "Men have responsibilities. Women have choices."
Yeah, a good example when a couple is expecting a baby.
If the woman does not want it: it will be aborted.
If the man does not want it: tough luck, 18 years child support.
This so true...
@@hiftu even worse that so many use their children as pawns in their own narcissistic game.
@@hiftu She can keep it if she wants, it's her body after all. The double standard comes further down the line: she can give the baby away if she wants to (adoption), therefore: she can freely forfeit her parental duties. A man can't, he is tied to a woman's choice (after the child is born, no 'my body' stuff). THAT is the inequality!
Spoken like someone who has not known a lot of fantastically irresponsible men.
It starts early. Do not raise your daughters telling them they are special.
Instead, tell them they have the ability to be amazing special people if they put in the effort.
Do not raise princesses. Raise adults.
Think you missed one, Woman can't handle not having drama in a relationship, men are most happy without it
They thrive off it
Amen brother
Girls like drama, women don't. Women remain bad at getting rid of drama. Usually there is 1 or 2 unintentional bad actors in a situation, removing them can remove the drama from the rest of the women. Unless they work in health healthcare; nurses constantly cause problems for each other, it's just what they do. The best you can hope for then is to contain the drama to work and a few minutes for her to vent when she gets home.
All of the women in my extended family hated each other. Until one aunt moved across the country. She must have been the source of the drama because everyone else has been happier since.
It's their way of affirming/reaffirming they are loved and valued. And, screw it if the man gets wrapped around the axle for no good reason.
The last one rang so true for me. Almost 10 years after my ex left me and divorced me, I asked a woman I’d met and been dating for a while, to marry me. As soon as my ex found out, she called me and started saying things like, “I miss you and miss all the wonderful times we had together. We should get together sometime and talk.”
I replied, “That is in the past and right now it wouldn’t be appropriate to get alone with you.”
My main standard for women is that they live up to their own standards. It's interesting how unrealistic that standard seems in the face of points like these
My concept is women have a material standard not a moral standard.
@@stephenfoster1257 I've met far too many good women to accept that. I may complain about the culture, but claiming that women don't have moral standards is crossing a line
@@dynosophical❤
@dougholmes1388 If women have moral standards why is morality in decline?Why is accountability an issue with women?
@@dynosophicalWake up buddy. 2023 is not the same as 1953 or even 1993. 99% of them are selfish and immoral.
Some of us guys don't appeal to women very much and we experience constant rejection. I got used to it as a young man but finally got married at 27. Your 5 points are actually quite accurate.
L̳E̳T̳S̳ ̳D̳I̳S̳C̳U̳S̳S̳ ̳M̳O̳R̳E̳ ̳A̳B̳O̳V̳E̳🛐🤷♂️🤦♂️..
I am 57 and happily married. I learned early on about rejection. After the first few times I realized I had about a 5 “no’s to 1 “yes” ratio - and all I really needed was one “yes” so I got braver. It was once I projected confidence and an “I can take you or leave you - I am happy on my own attitude” I got more dates. Once I got the date, I showed I’m willing to pursue her and I’m marriage minded. This was an automatic filter and the right one would not run… so… I married her…
And i Am Sooooooo Happy, to be Rejected from a few girls , so that I Often thank to God for This , Because only Years later i have realized how Evil, Spoiled and Unworthy they were !!! ! !!! Now i am still single at my 50's ... but still Better this, than to get stucked with those evil witches !!! ! !!! Thanks Again Only to God for saving me and my poor life 🙂 😀 🙂
The fear of rejection goes beyond dating. I have a female friend who is looking for a job. She will send out ONE application every month or two. She is so afraid of rejection that she cannot even apply for a job. Men, on the other hand, are perfectly willing to send out HUNDREDS of applications. They know it's a numbers game. If they get a rejection, they chalk it up to experience and say "next." Women just can't handle that. They had rather fail miserably than be rejected.
Then she is too immature. She has to break past her barriers.
@@shanederry2691 She's 57 years old. She's NEVER going to grow up. Women don't have to because they know that men do the heavy lifting in this world.
we know we will get rejected... but we also know we be happily accepted... by someone smarter/better than the loser(s) that rejected us...............
@@yourmom10269 Perhaps. Or, especially in the current economy, we may not get a job at all. But at least we TRY. We don't allow fear of rejection to paralyze us. Women often do so.
My Mom was the same way. She was widowed at age 37. So she had to find work. She applied for a job. Waited weeks to see if they would call her for an interview. Then maybe after two or three months she finally gave up and applied some place else. She got her first job a year after my Dad died and was hired at a minimum wage job which was I think the fifth or sixth place she applied. Were it not for survivor benefits we'd been screwed. She constantly complained about her job but maybe looked for a new one every year or so and when she didn't get hired she would first go into a deep depression then finally climb out of that but still have low self esteem for months before finally applying at yet another place. When she retired she was still at that first place though she did for a couple of years in the middle find a different job. She disliked that one more and so she reapplied for her old job and they offered her 25 cents an hour more than she had been making two years earlier when she quit and she took it. She was absolutely petrified of rejection. She also never dated after my Dad died probably for similar reasons though she had five children and men tend not to be interested in women with children, especially five.
That rejection one is definitely spot on. I remember years ago a sales team lead was giving us a talk about handling 'no' as an answer and he mentioned to the ladies present that they're going to have the hardest time with it (especially the young and pretty ones) because they rarely ever experience that in their lives whereas for guys it's just been 10 minutes since the last time they heard it.
Biggest reality point here.The opposite is also true to a degree - the good lookers often succeed in sales while their young for the opposite reason (if the target is male).
@@zorbakaput8537 i.e. pharmaceutical reps.
My heads still spinning from the vid
N now u say it
What the what
Guess I’ve just been in the wrong sex all my life
Rejection is familiar, I do it quite well
And I can cold call no problem lol
Nowadays this sales team lead would not dare to give anybody such a talk for fear of being roasted alive. The statement is as true as ever, though.
Can you imagine saying that to women in today’s environment????
The phone in the HR department would melt!!
I don't know how you got into making these videos but you're amazing. Thank you. 🙌🏽
Been watching your shorts for a couple months. Didn't realize I hadn't subscribed til now. Thank you so much for your content. Been happily unmarried since 2006. I appreciate your voice in the cause for many of us.
6.Accountability for her actions
7. Saying "I'm sorry and meaning it"
8. Saying what they actually think and standing by their word
9. Stop playing the victim
10. Enjoying simple things
There's a Roman proverb they don't teach in school
"When a woman smiles, she is lying.
When she cries, she is manipulating"
Spot on! The crocodille tears anytime she doesn't get exactly what she wants, that is pure manipulation.
Good additions!
It's true...
Whoa! I think I subconsciously realized this so I treat a woman's smile indifferently.
Right on
1. Women use the "I have a boyfriend" excuse, even when they don't have a boyfriend, so she probably didn't believe that he was telling the truth.
...which just makes it even more obvious how toxic she is.
Modern women do always have a boyfriend or should we call it a backer/sex toy/provider... Often more than just one.. ;)
you guys are tough. To me that is a gentle rejection, been better if she said " you aren't very attractive or you are out of shape or by the looks of your clothes or car you aren't rich enough"
@@bruceevans9664 That's a hard one. If a girl says she find me unattractive might be hurtful, because I can't do anything about it. If I'm not rich enough then I could do something or just consider her as a golddigger and I would feel I dodged a bullet.
A lot of them do have a bf. However, you just aren't good enough from the start to even warrant a shot is basically what it means. They will cheat for the right man.
I was a foreman for the electrical contractor on an elementary school remodel years ago. I was friendly with all the teachers men and women (not intentionally flirty). Me and our electricians did a lot of things in their classrooms to help them out before and after work. For example someone donated an 8' wide role of paper and the teacher in question asked me to cut it in to (4) 2' sections. The assistant principal asked me to do a career day presentation. I spoke of my kids frequently, scouts, camping, brought them to the jobsite to hangout, etc. same teacher ended up with my younger son in her classroom entertaining her for an hour or so.
Evidently I was not clear that I was married and no one thought to ask. About 6 months into the project another one of the teachers we were friendly with approached me for her and said "Miss? is extremely shy and pretty scared of men but she thinks you are a great guy and would like to take you out to dinner." I was stunned and flattered, it was the 1st time as an adult a women had approached me like that. When she saw my surprise she immediately tried to back it down. I told her I was flattered but I was married.
The asking teacher begged me not to talk about it among the crew. I told her it would never leave this area and kept my word. I felt like an ass. 1) for evidently slighting my wife by not talking about her around other women 2) for safety reasons I rarely wore my wedding band at work so I didn't have a tan line so I made my self look single and I was ashamed of that. and 3) for hurting the teachers feelings. I think what bothered me the most was that she never spoke to me again. The teacher that approached me told me that she was mortified and couldn't talk to me because she was so embarrassed. Looking back I would bet some asshole hit her or just treated her like crap. I hope she found her guy.
No, she just couldn't handle the reality of rejection. And, if you're married it's not like you're going to be her friend, either, so why fake it?
As a guy, I don't have any platonic relationships with women. No need for it. Acquaintances with women are fine, if it's a normal setting, such as work.
"a women"?
Switch the genders and no one would have sympathy for the guy. He would shamed for not seeing her as a person and only seeing women as conquest. Especially if he stopped talking to her.
I can’t believe how much I agree with you and how accurate and perceptive you are! You are AWESOME!
#1: I've had a woman approach me four times in my whole adult life. Only two of those times were what I would call "shooting her shot." And I'm 55. I think I'm a fairly average guy doing average things, so I feel like three or four times is consistent with the average guy's experience. But for most guys (when women rate 80% of men as 'below average'), that number is probably closer to zero. Ladies, if you ever approach a man and it seems like he doesn't know how to react because he's never been approached by a woman, it's probably because he hasn't.
How many times is the average woman doing average things approached in nearly four decades? She probably doesn't even know how many times she was approached this year.
So it's pretty rare and each instance forms a memory and an image of what she looked like even if you never saw her before then, or again after. Once at a Megadeth show. Once by one of my sister's friends. Once at a party by a friend (?) of my girlfriend at the time. Once in my new house when the neighbor came over with beers.
For a little bit of context; I've been in more car accidents than I've been approached by a woman. I've been robbed as many times as I've been approached by a woman. I've changed careers more times than I've been approached by women.
I've been within the 50m blast radius of a 60mm mortar round just as often; so I've had about the same probability of getting hit by mortars shooting their shot as getting hit by women shooting their shot.
And yet funnily enough the mortar shells were also far less dangerous
You know you're one of "most guys" right?
Ha, amazing post.
As a guy, I'm so socially awkward/unaware that I might be approached by a woman but never realize it. I'll think back to an encounter weeks/years prior and wonder if that girl was interested in me. I'm so bad with non-verbal queues that I never make the connection in the moment. It would be easier if a woman just communicated with words and not made it a big puzzle/guessing game, then progress might be made lol. My point is, for me, there may be some bias in counting the exact number of times I've been approached.
@@Optimization-pc8olI’m also really socially awkward and introverted. That’s gone when I’m around a select group of friends and close family I hold dear, but in all other situations… I’m probably kind of a plant in the room. Sometimes I’ve had an interaction and in hindsight where I’m like: “Did she had something of an interest in me?” It comes down to assumption and the assumption shall be ‘No, probably not’. I’ve never been in a relationship, nor have I asked anyone out. I have seen some people who seemed interesting from afar but I just don’t know enough about them. I get that you can get to know them more by interacting… but, like I said, generally socially awkward and I never, ever approach people, let alone someone I might be romantically attracted to. As of now, I’m not rushing to get into a relationship. I’m interested to see what it’s like, but I’m doing fine single and I’d much rather take the time to find someone and get to know her than to rush forward with the first person I bump into.
I agree that men aren’t approached by women.
I was always told by women that I was a very attractive man, but I had terrible self-esteem issues and believed that I was ugly for decades of my life.
I learned afterwards from some friends that many, many women were attracted to me and desperately wanted to be with me but wouldn’t approach me ever.
As uncommon and weird as this sounds, I’m sure it’s more common than it appears on the outside.
Mhm. I have sometimes texted my friends telling them how amazingly handsome are some men I find, or how nice they seem. I just do never tell them, because I do not want romantic stories yet, and it could be misleading.
I have a hard time believing that if Brad Pit was poor and unknown , he wouldn’t be asked out by women because of his looks . I think women give attention to the very few men that they find physically attractive , however , women find less than 20 percent of men “attractive”.
Women are taught by society to not approach men or you'll be perceived as an "easy" target. Both genders have been messed up by the social rules
No. Any man I have known that is attractive, I have shot my shot. Attractive people get hit on. Sorry.
It's a blessing in disguise.
Once you have better things to do than sex, you can just ignore them and they will break their own hearts without ever disturbing you.
Thank you so much for your support and insights Emily !!
This explains so much. I have an ex who told me that I was the best boyfriend she'd ever had, but that she couldn't be in a relationship with me because she couldn't control me through the threat of a breakup. She said she's too insecure to be in a relationship where she doesn't have leverage over her SO. It's not that I never did anything for her, it's just that she could tell that when I did, it was because I had nothing else to do that I felt was a higher priority, and it really bothered her that she couldn't get me to do things like call in sick to work unless I was actually sick, or literally quit my job, sell my house and move across country with her at a moment's notice.
I'm not sure I know my worth, but I do know what not being codependent is worth.
Oh, I wish I could meet one that honest.
Yeah my ex-wife use to try the same crap.... time for work/acts like it's time to be affectionate, threatened divorce/wants to buy a new house....like wtf. Nothing but games/lies/middle school behavior. My first and last marriage ended over 20 years ago, and she's been playing games her whole life, currently on her 4th Marriage
I didn’t think much of it at the time because I was young, but now I am older I realise and understand how much courage and strength it takes to ask a girl out. Thankful to all the men who asked me out in my life. Guys rock ❤
Men and woman rock ❤
It’s definitely difficult but someone has to do it.
And remember, men fail at least 90% of the time.
@@MrDontcareify well thank you ☺️
But you'd still never do it yourself, would you?
#2, to be fair, I've dated women who genuinely did put in effort, and I appreciated it a lot. They do exist.
Only a few from my stand point.
Those are literally the ONLY kind of women worth dating at all.
❤
Cheers to you! I found one. Actually made it to age 39 before getting married - and I made her wait two years to really get to know one another. I definitely was ready to remain a bachelor, and I was prepared to break it if necessary, but she made the cut & I don’t often miss single life…
As did I. Up until 2001.
I think your comments are spot on. I am a senior man and have been approached by women younger than me and have not accepted their invitations. When I was younger the dynamic of having to approach a woman was the norm but there was always the confusion of not only what to say but how not to come off as inappropriate. As for putting in the effort, I have been with women that put in the effort and they were so enjoyable to spend time with.
I am not married but have been with my partner for 30 years and do consider myself married in my heart, no piece of paper can make the bond if the heart is not in it. I have seen several of your videos and find you to be able to define so much of the complexities of relationships it is quite enjoyable. Thanks.
Number one is so true and happened all the time when I would go out for dinner, drinks and dancing at the local , women would approach and start a conversation and I was always polite and never flirted . They would often ask for my number and I would reply "My wife would not appreciate that " and they would never believe me and get so angry with many causing a scene . My wife was the manager of this establishment and would rescue me with a smile and the question to the girl "who are you" and "what's going on with my husband " the look on their faces was priceless .
You absolutely nailed the power dynamic in the relationship. My wife has chased away the few friends I had early on in our relationship. And she did it subtly to make me think it was my idea. Learning through therapy she’s been manipulating me for years now.
I have a built in manipulation identifier and whenever the girl goes into manipulation mode, it's over. So now I am older, I have a great dog, and I can't find any woman who doesn't almost immediately go into some kind of game that I am supposed to play along with or else. Occasionally I will meet a woman who doesn't do these things and before you know it I find out she is married. It is so hard to find, that any single woman who is like that will get snatched up very quickly. So if it happens to me I need to be ready to move quickly.
My x used to try to separate me from my family. It took me a while to figure out what she was doing. She had weird disparaging names for my seven brothers
Personally I never kept too many friends so my girlfriends usually had me to theirselves. I tend to make my girlfriend everything I need in any relationship
That's the behavior of a female narcissist
@@markh4926 if it weren't for you being the 8th child, I would've guessed her name is Snow White
My first dating rejection was at summer camp at 8 years old. I found out this girl only did stuff with me because my sister asked her too, all while she had eyes for an older boy. I stopped asking girls out after that. Only ended up actually dating and marrying my wife from a misunderstanding that just.... worked. 11 years in now and going strong.
lightning struck I guess. best wishes
I'm now curious, what was the story behind the misunderstanding?
@michaelsong9307 me being dense about the questions she was asking mainly. She worked at a movie theater and had free vouchers to let people in. I was invited and she asked if we should have dinner before the show. My thought was, cheaper than consession food, her thought was date.
You’re right on in my experience Emily. I really enjoy your channel, please keep it up.
I came across you're channel ....... all I have to say is wow. I just totally subscribed to you're channel. Finally a woman that understands men LOL 😆🤩. Keep up the great content. You defiantly gave me hope.
Not all men are immune to rejection. I had asked several women out and got rejected. Most of the women that I asked out were those I worked with. I asked a girl out and she accepted but sadly she strung me along for about a month. Every time I tried to pick a day to go out she said she was busy then I had decided to give up and she had said that she really was interested. Finally we agreed on a day and time. I took the car and washed it and vacuumed it. Then I drove home and made the phone call only to wake up her mother who had told me that her daughter had gone out with her friends. That hurt quite a bit. Even worse when she was playing some kind of game and had no intention of ever really going out with me.
Been there.
Never date a coworker!
Don't EVER fish off the company pier!
Been there, but not at work. I still don't understand this behaviour, it baffles me. I learned to read that attitude early on and move on quicker. She might have been scared, or too "shy" to reject you, wtv I don't care.
This explains so much of the behavior I have experienced with women. Thanks for breaking it down Emily. However, if women want to be considered 'equal' , you cannot have it both ways all the time. Guys have to put in more effort, more time, more work, more attention, more money, more energy, more planning, more risk, more everything it seems!....In this era of 'equality' , what exactly does the woman bring to the relationship to balance all that out???
Women don't want to be considered equal. We ARE equal.
Don’t waste ur time with “please don’t stalk me”. She blames men for everything. Misandry as philosophy
@@dontstalkmedeltoro8816 "...We ARE equal..."
Not even close.
@@johnbox271 well... if you think you're not.. no wonder why you're struggling in life.
No respect for your mother.
In the modern part of the world this is just not even an issue at all.. It is so funny to observe :D Why do you guys want a whore as your girlfriend? :D
also i LOVE YOUR CHANNEL! ive watched ur comments for years and you havent missed a beat in ... well ever...
As a man born in the 1980s Yugoslavia, I definitely had the upbringing that resulted in me being my own support system, so the "men feel invisible" hits the nail on the head. Basically ever since I was a kid, I was taught to rely on myself alone.
I'm a woman and I was taught the same.
I haven't relied on my husband for 20 years. We are a team.
I taught my daughters the same.
@@dontstalkmedeltoro8816What do you mean ? How can you teach yourself a skill that you won’t ever need as a result of your gender ? Women will never feel invisible in this society, even if they are obese they still receive attention and compliments from the opposite gender , and they are still asked out on dates and they know what it feels like to be treated as a human being .
I guess what you are saying is like a man who was been rich all his life , claiming that he taught himself how not to depend on food in order to survive .
I feel that one. I think for that reason, that catch phrase of "Maximum Effort!!" by Deadpool's character really resonates with a damn lotta men on some level.
Rejection is something we as boys learn from a young age, not because of women, but because of other men.
Example: you play football between classes, the last one picked are told, without words, that they suck ass and probably are fat.
In all sport from a young age we learn hierarchy, women simply don't.
That’s actually true, too. Men learn rejection from other men, too.
Yeah, that was me. Anyone wondering I chose to enjoy life on my own? However, I love having a good girl. Nothing recently.
That's not rejection, what you're talking about. That's reality check.
I was that fat kid who was last to be picked what it did for me was drove me to a life time of fitness im now 60 and train 3 mornings and five afternoons a week every year i post a picture of my gains on FB on my birthday im the fittest person i know ( personally) even compaired to people 20 years my junior,it taught me to be better and prove I can be better than them,
@@vitzuja5943 That is a form of rejection for sure,you're certainly getting a message that you're not wanted or seen as worthy or capable enough to be picked high up in the pecking order.
I admire your courage to come forward and talk about these things
Thank you 🖖
Your list already ensures that most of the men are better off without a girlfriend, but....
How the heck did you miss that most women can not take responsibility for their own actions?
I think the accountability weakness in women is so universally accepted and regarded as an absolute undisputable fact that it's not worth mentioning.
NO Kidding!
the host being a woman would never hold herself accountable for missing this one - even as it is the most universally understood characteristic of women
Holy shit. You nailed it @hiftu. They can’t and never will. Women don’t use the phrase the devil made me do it. They look at the man they are with and say He made me do it.
Like those women who beat their spouse, and then say, "Look what you made me do." Oh wait, that's men. I see men blaming "feminists," or women in general, for their own bad behavior all the time. I've noticed that it is not the case that men are more rational or accountable...they're just very accomplished in conveniently unseeing all the ways they're irrational or refuse to take responsibility.
I've been single for twenty years, couldn't care less. Some women are single for five minutes and its the end of the world. They'll go on Tik Tok and cry, or hit the dating scene in a mad panic.
If only the average woman could walk a day in the shoes of an average single man!
By the way, Emily, you're by far the best online advisor on this subject. 🤠👍
In my observation, it's been a lot more men falling apart when their spouse dies or leaves them. I've seen it firsthand. Like someone I know who, two months after his wife died, brought a random woman off the internet to live with him because he couldn't bear to be alone. She mentally and verbally abused him, and brought in a bunch of her loser family to be non-working parasites living off him. He tolerated all this like a fool because he was desperate.
1. Not handling rejection => Expecting Initiative
2. Not handling low effort => Expecting Initiative
3. Not handling lack of attention=> Expecting Initiative
4. Trying to hold all the power => Ruining Initiative
5. Being replaced by someone better => The Natural Result
Single life as a man is better than a constant power struggle with an insecure woman.
Most women would gain so much from just giving up and putting all their trust in good men. But they never will.
Women have a sell by date in the form of OVARIES. After a certain age these start to churn out defective eggs. Bollocks are on the outside for a very good reason. and as long as they were not tightly warmly held by Y fronts but coolly kept from view by loose fitting boxer shorts ones jizz is normal up to sort of Fiftyish.
There is a documentary of a women doing just that, spending 18 months as a man. After that she ended her life because she got 2 depressed over it.
YOU DID A GREAT JOB ON THIS SUBJECT
Emily thank you for your thought provoking analysis.
Woman: I want the truth!
Man: You can't handle the truth!
Code Red and Code Red accessories... 😛
😂
I found out what a narcissist is the hard way from my recent ex. After reading for a year about narcissists and their behavior patterns. Yes. A lot of weak minded inferior beta men are narcissists, as I already kind of knew. What I didn't know before. Is most "strong independant women, and modern feminists", are also narcissists. Narcissists are to be avoided, period. Nobody has ever been able to help or cure a narcissist. They see nothing wrong with their manipulation and abuse. They are sociopaths and psychopaths. That is why so many men, myself included. Refuse to date western women at all any more. Finding that one good single female out of ten thousand bad ones. Simply isn't worth all the suffering.
I think a majority have traits like my ex. I've noticed the males growing up are also displaying the traits. Unfortunately, the West praises narcissism.
Control freaks are common among women. When you do a household chore, and she complains that it's not done correctly because you didn't do it her way, it's a clear warning sign that it's time to leave...
My own wife didn't like how I did the laundry, for example. A healthy behavior on her part was to say: "Okay, I'll do the laundry from now on".
Deviant behavior would have been to (try to) yell at me to change my habits and do it HER way, instead of being happy that I was doing my share of chores.
And the normal behavior is to say: "Thank you for doing the laundry, honey".
For other chores, my wife consistently had the same reaction: either she thanks me, or if my way of doing it annoys her, she does it herself without the SLIGHTEST reproach afterward - she knows it's HER issue not to tolerate my method, so she takes responsibility.
So, it's a pretty simple test to do in a new relationship: as soon as she asks you to do something in the house, do it like a blockhead, meaning poorly or halfway, and come tell her it's done with a childlike smile as if it were the first time you went pooping by yourself. And observe her reaction.
If she thanks you despite wide-eyed looks, that's all good.
If she starts redoing it her way but exonerating you (like "Oh, wait, I'm used to it being like this, I'm picky about it... Hold on, I'll take care of it, go sit down, it's nice of you to have done the bulk!"), that's all good.
If she makes the SLIGHTEST complaint or, worse, asks you to do it again, run. Quickly.
I can't believe how accurate you are, Im subscribed...
Thanks for the enlightening video. I experienced rejection my whole life for a variety of reasons. I am used to it by now as an adult. When I was 5, none of my cousins on my dad's side of the family wanted to play with me because I was too young; they were 2 or 3 years older than me. That really hurts as a child when someone rejects you out of some petty reason. Same in elementary school. Fortunately my mom wanted nothing to do with my dad's side of the family when I was 8 for personal reasons so I never saw my a-hole cousins again and don't miss them.
Regarding men being rejected, when I was 3, I was in love with my sister's friend Kim who was 5. One day they were playing at our house, and when Kim looked my way I smiled at her, but she gave me a very mean scowl in return. It horrified me at the time and affected me for years. (If rejection seems easy on men, in many cases they're just being civil and hiding it.)
Where I grew up, if a boy looked or stared too long at a girl who didn’t find him cute, she was likely to ask loudly, “Did you get your jollies?” to embarrass him.
When I was 6, we had a costume party at my kindergarten. There was supposed to be some dancing and the teacher told us, boys, to ask the girls to dance with us. All boys rushed to ask the girls and I asked the one I liked and she rejected me, while all other girls around agreed to dance with the boys. The fact that I was the only boy rejected (from what I could see) has shaped my entire life. It made me feel like there must have been something fundamentaly unattractive about me for the next 20 or so years. I would basically never approach or pursue any female for the rest of my life. I would also develop some kind of a reciprosexual/reciproromantic attitude when I would only ever develop interest/crush on a girl if she seemed to have one on me first. But since females rarely take initiative, my crushes often wouldn't go beyond getting excited that a girl was staring at me at every opportunity. There were girls who tried to do more than that, though. My subconscious convicton about being unattractive was so hardwired into my brain that only.in my mid to late twenties did I reflect back and realise how often girls pursued me or at least hinted at interest in me when I was in my teens. When I was younger, I would often repress those memories and never think about all of them at the same time- I would have an impression that there were much fewer of these instances that what had actually occured! For a guy so introverted and so avoiding of socialising, I've received an astonishing amount of female attention, compliments etc. But I was so messed up emotionally that it never led to anything. I wouldn't have experienced even something like handholding or a proper hug until I was 23, which is something I resent nowadays because those things don't taste the same anymore when I'm older so I will never be able to make up for this lack of experience from the times when I was still young and excited about those things. :(
So yeah. It's not so much that men always handle rejection better than women, we just tend to handle it more "internally" so that the outside world often doesn't even realise how much it affected us. I think it's down to the fact that males tend to not receive as much emotional reassurance as females, so we just shut up because we know that speaking about anything directly or even indirectly will turn out to be a negative experience.
#5 is spot on. My Ex (who I work with) couldn’t handle that I moved on. She also told me the other day that I looked so happy in the photos….what photos? So she’s an online stalker now and I don’t even have any social media - so she’s stalking my now wife 😂
You mostly nailed it, but I have a couple reservations.
1. Rejection. Some men fear it and/or are just sick of it. Some men simply avoid the possibility of rejection by staying single. But we do handle it way better then women.
That brings a possible number 6: Accepting and even enjoying staying single.
4. Power dynamic. While there are definitely women who dominate a man's life, some are very recessive and mold themselves to whatever the man wants. It depends on the woman.
So much wisdom , common sense, and a real grasp of reality from a woman so young.
There is hope for my son's generation after all.
Recycled content from the rest of the internet. Calm down.
@@spittertron4920Yes, you probably have a point.
Don't keep your hopes up boys. It's a trap!!!!
I have opted out of the whole dating game. Funny how when a guy stops looking, women come out of the woodwork everywhere suddenly interested. I treat them just as I've been treated through the years. I say no. Some persist. I say no again. Then some want to know why. I tell the truth; that I'm done with the drama, I've found my peace and no-bod-ee is going to disrupt my peace. The mild reactions range from "oh, well, your loss." to her getting huffy and storming off usually with an insult tossed back as she leaves. Several have up and tried to slap me. Then get even angrier when I catch the wrist or hand she's trying to slap me with and accuse me of assaulting her. One got tossed from the bar as the barkeep had witnessed the entire exchange. No, women can't handle rejection at all. Most seem to behave like spoiled children who have been told they can't have a cookie from the cookie jar. If things were truly equal, there'd be a couple-three women out there with broken noses courtesy of me. Don't take a swing at me if you can't accept the consequences of me defending myself. Women want equality; you *almost* have the complete package now. When you are truly treated the same as men, I hope you're happy with your bruised egos and ribs. I'm just blown away at the idea a 5' something 135 lb Karen thinks she can freely take a swing at a 6' + 220 lb gorilla and get away with it just because he doesn't want anything to do with her. Also, I don't make enough money to keep any of you interested, so take the shortcut and walk away. Emily, you're one in a million. I wish more women had just a smidge of your understanding and sensibility. For most men, that level of understanding is just a fantasy that draws us to a channel like yours.
I've witnessed women aggressively approaching and cussing out men who are much bigger and stronger than they are in public. If a male stranger did the same thing to another male, he would likely get his ass kicked. 1) The woman naively thinks she is a tough badass because men have always backed away when she acts aggressively. (She has just been fortunate that the men she pulls this stuff on have been conditioned by society not to hit a woman). 2) She has never been in a physical altercation or competition with a man. (So she truly has no understanding how much more strength and striking power a typical man has compared to a woman of similar weight). 3) She's drunk and stupid
Yup. I make 70k which is good in my trade. But it's not a drop in the bucket for the life every woman wants. So ...single at 47. And it's not going to change. The single independent women out here are narcissistic alcoholics.
1. Not handling rejection => Expecting Initiative
2. Not handling low effort => Expecting Initiative
3. Not handling lack of attention=> Expecting Initiative
4. Trying to hold all the power => Ruining Initiative
5. Being replaced by someone better => The Natural Result
When women try to hold the power, men are better off single.
Excellent comment in every way (including grammar and spelling which is exceedingly rare).
I believe that when women take "I have a girlfriend" as a rejection, it's because they use "I have a boyfriend" as a rejection. For them, it's a way to let the guy down easily, and I understand completely since there are men who will become angry or creepy when rejected. I believe that when a woman hears "I have a girlfriend" they believe that they are being let down easy in the same way.
Great video, Emily...👍
I count a woman saying "I have a boyfriend" as a form of rejection but I respect her for it. I actually think more highly of her for it. She's faithful and that's a good thing.
I had been turning down women during the years immediately following my divorce because I felt that trying to begin a new relationship would have gotten in the way of me healing and learning from the whole thing.
I rejected one woman and she took it so hard and handled it so badly that I figured out how to sorta make women lose interest in me but not have to technically reject them. I was far more comfortable with self denigrating myself and taking the "L" instead of dealing with hurting women even if I didn't know them.
I also didn't want to discourage them from approaching men in the future. I actually think women should be more active in their love lives and approaching men is part of that.
But I do think women are capable of taking rejection if they became more accustomed to it. If it was more of a social norm. So if it were more normalized that they approach men then they would naturally become more accustomed to handling rejection and get better at it.
They're generally more emotional, and especially negative emotion really hits hard with them. That is why women are more social to begin with, they rely upon close friends and project far more often. Many people do not ponder why, but turn looking for something or someone to blame.
When it comes to rejection it's not only just relationships but many aspect of life such as in careers, etc...
Meh... assuming she isn't lying, then "I have a boyfriend" doesn't mean she doesn't find you attractive. So, I don't see it as the same thing as rejection myself.
@@Trifler500 yes you have a point but it's still a "No". But I don't feel as much of a sting because of it. Probably for the reason you mention it's not "no you're ugly" it's "you were late to the plate".
Emily, thanks for this insight. That said, it begs the question to what does she bring to the table, besides her body, that makes her worth the enormous once sided investiture necessary in the hope of "she'll pick me"?
Women demand equality, but only when it works for them.
It's ironic that your very insightful analysis should serve as an outline of what woman to avoid!
I did happen one at the gym. I saw a redhead and I made the “first move” and I engage with conversation and then ask to exchange numbers. Then we said “I have a boyfriend” and then I said never mind. And later that day while I was juggling on the bike track I saw her with a group of friends and the tall black man next seen to be her boyfriend. In other words she isn’t lying.
3 was especially true for me. I was a social outcast pretty much from day one. I was ignored so much that I could cross a room completely packed with people and probably have none of them even notice. I got so used to it that recieving any amount of attention kinda felt wrong. Being ignored was the norm for me for about 80% of my life.
same my friends were bugs and my own imagination, I remember feeding a popcorn spider during recess 3rd grade. I did some sports top batter on the team had to quit due to being pelted so many times (I hated it, people only saw me for what I could do for the team but not be my friend), never went to birthday parties, never hung out, only fam on my block with kids my age. my parents felt so bad that they talked another fam into getting there kid to try to be my friend, cuz we were both special needs kids. I mean I can kinda understand I was an angary kid from 6th to 12th. 34 years old now I have a a bro I can call a genuine friend.
And the ladies I only get a notice from them when they need something like moving/lifting/carrying something. I've gotten on a couple that they only seem to want me around when they want something and give nothing in return. it's not like I'm demanding a blowie, pay me back for the wasted time or don't ask for my help. I could've been doing my own things.
Great video…worthy of a lot more likes IMO
Great video BUT please fix your left picture frame! Lol.. It's not straight! Haha.. Keep up the great videos!
#6. Being wrong. It's impossible for most woman to be wrong about anything, ever.
It's just spoiled and juvenile behavior. It happens with both women and men, but that slant is like 90/10. Guys get called out and told off for that nonsense, but girls seem to get away with it.
Yep. I was always wrong with my ex-wife. And when she was wrong, it was only because I was wrong first.
It absolutely is. Completely immature regardless of gender. Parents have to raise their kids right . There are definitely good women and some are entitled brats.
This is NOT true! I have been married for 43 years, and I can remember ... oh ... two or three times when my wife has been wrong!
that's because so many women set up their own cheerleading clubs and yell, "you go, girl!!" every time one of them humiliates a guy. then they turn around and stab each other in the back.
Dated a girl who got mad at me because other men would offer her things while we were dating like taking her on vacation and she got upset because I hadn't done that.
Simps are literally ruining jt for everyone else.. i had a co worker.. definitely a simp. Working 2 jobs and paying for his “girlfriend” bills amd shit he doesnt even get anything back.. just pays them for her, her credit cards and shit. Like why tf are dudes doing this when youre not even married
Why do you date prostitutes.. Is that really all you can attract?
leave her. if she is showing this kind of attitude during dating, it will only go downhill afterwards
@@TheSourcerer111 Already gone, but it taught me how selfish and entitled some women can be.
Coming from an older woman (58). If a woman expects you to take her on vacation while you’re just dating she doesn’t care about you, she cares about what you can give her. Don’t become a bank for any woman! If she can’t share responsibility with you, run. Run fast. Because when if you marry her she will drain your account and you will be working to support her she will not contribute, then she will leave you because you can’t give her that huge house she wants. Find a woman who wants you, not one who needs you.
You are a very wise person. I really appreciate your insight. Thank you so much
Geez. Emily, you nailed it!
Great video, as uaual.
Keep it up!
I just realized something after listening to this. Four out of five of these things are things that are activities that are feeding narcissism. The need to be worshiped, the self valuation, the being offended if enough attention is not paid to you, all of it… Women are often the first ones to label someone as narcissistic and hate on them, but it's often because it's competition, rather than something they detest I said this about my ex and her mom. She will call her mother a narcissist from now to kingdom come, but she is exactly the same. Interesting video, it kind of clears some things up, or at least proves the point of what I've been suspecting
I agree with all of these. I’ve noticed these trends before, but it was helpful to have them laid out!
Excellent analysis: keep it up
Great list, spot on!
The amount of effort one you mentioned spoke to me. I dated a woman who kept pushing me away and resisting me and kept talking about ending the relationship. I would encourage her to give it more time, more of a chance - there were circumstances that made the relationship strained. But at some point, as you can probably understand, I was just getting tired of putting in all the effort, trying to make it work. So eventually I eased off, and of course, she took that to mean I wasn't interested and I didn't care about her - .... urgh - forget it! xD
This type of woman are the worst they want the chase basically and don't actually know what they really want or desire.This type often cheat cause they act on impulse better to leave them once you find out cause when a woman wants you and likes you they don't play games they are real with you about what they really want.
Because she's playing a game with you, one with no definable rules, no declaration of purpose or how to win or play. Magical whims and escalating expectations define the backdrop, and if you think you have figured one out, they are automatically changed. Spatial mechanics on curved manifolds is far easier to decipher.
Thank you Emily for helping us better understand with excellent information. Appreciate what you do and enduring the negative side of the Internet. Positive thoughts for you and those close to you.
Spot on, from a man. Been married three times. You are spot on, not only in this video, but for the great most part in all your content. Thanks. Keep up the good work. Your man is very fortunate.
I just sent this to my daughters and my wife. Very good.
This video was GOLDEN, perfect explanation of everything I’ve been thinking about recently! Thanks. Stay informative 😁
I think women can handle not being in the position of power in the relationship. I think its actually preferred and feels natural. The relationships they leave, often because they feel icked or stressed out from, are those where they are in the position of power. Often the guys they go running after are the guys who put the woman in a lesser position. And honestly most women don't see a guy as attractive unless he is better than her in every way.
Now I think women want to have power, but once they get it they can't handle it.
I think it also depends on the femininity for example I like to not have all of the responsibility. And when my man makes the decisions. When we see a man who is emotional intelligent, not controlling with us and very masculine we naturally let the man being in the "spotlight" it's when we feel secure with a man. Emotionally, spiritually, and understood.
When a man only gives us physical protection it's not enough for us to thrive in our femininity. So we get the Feeling we have to control everything by ourself to feel safe. Woman who don't want to step back are probably not that feminine and need to work more on being a healthy woman. But you know people are different. So there are definitely different woman and man. Handling a relationship
@@Mymoon_laaaaaaaaaadiiieeesss well said. yes, i think them not stepping back is because of them not being feminine, but I think most of that is because there isn't a force in their life that is masculine. That is either they are single or they don't feel that their man is properly filling their masculine roll.
as ridiculous as women sound when they say something like, "he needs to be masculine for me to feel safe to be in my feminine" i believe them. That when a man in a woman's life is masculine she naturally will start to fall into a feminine disposition.
I think the masculine behavior is a defense mechanism. They don't have a (strong) father or husband and so they have to be the man they desire in order to protect themselves.
It's case by case, of course, but as an example, I'm in a divorce because my wife couldn't handle not having control ... while simultaneously insisting I "step up and lead the relationship." Every time I did so, she nitpicked it and discounted 100% of my efforts because it wasn't exactly how she would've done it. In hindsight I should've followed my gut to hold off on marriage, but then I would've likely taken even longer to learn a lot of important lessons.
Point is: I most definitely agree with Emily that there are women who want to have the greater control over the relationship, whether for good, bad, or neutral reasons. The best relationships are even in this dynamic, shared control, both autonomous and supporting the other.
@@closethockeyfan5284 i get what you are saying but even there she expressed "wanting you to lead". I don't think her problem was not being able to let go of leading or not being in control but a problem many women get into. They think everything has to be done there way. Or if it isn't done there way it isn't done correctly. They don't realize that there are many different ways to approach a problem.
It is less about wanting to be in control and more about not being grateful. It is her nitpicking that stresses women out in a relationship which leads to problems and an eventual split.
Now I think their push towards "being in control" or "nitpicking" comes from a desire to be safe and secure. This comes off as trying to be in control, but I think its more of an expression of the woman trying to express the man not being properly masculine in one way or another. They can't quite put words to it, but they know its making them feel off and stressed.
I went with a girl. Every few months she would stage a psychologically abusive headgame. (Men have the physical power; women have the psychological power.) She would say we should break up. After a few years of this, I finally left her for a younger woman. She did this to the next guy, the alpha Chad of our group. She finally dumped him. The third guy would have sex with her but never commit. He never allowed her to play her head game. He had all the power. She called him the love of her life. She's now 53 with a perpetually impotent unemployed guy. She has pulled the headgame on him for ten years, but he won't leave. She is terrified of being alone. She tried to get back with me. I told her, I have never dated a woman over 29. Women half my age approach me, so no thanks to your baggage and your headgames. She tried to get back with the second guy she dated, the alpha Chad. He wouldn't even see her. She is going to end up as a bag lady, (because she hates cats.) Wandering around with fifty bags talking to herself. A woman who feels equal to a man always feels like she can do better. If she is not looking up to him, she looks down on him. Women today think it's Sex and the City, with quality men chasing women well into their fifties. They are nuts.
This is very good. Thanks.
I think you nailed it. Well done.
The list is great and really well explained! Im gonna throw an ounce of shade at rejection. Even if we're "used to it" if we actually want someone, there's nothing more personal than that kind of rejection.
I agree with the need for attention. I was married to my late wife for over 40 years. The absolute worst thing I could do to her was to ignore her. I could treat her good or bad and that was OK, but just ignoring her would drive her out of her mind. She couldn't stand it and would do everything she could to get me to pay attention to her. When I did start paying attention to her, she became really clingy to me.
So you mentally abused her?
Why would you ever ignore your wife?
That's a really sad story.
All she wanted was to feel loved by you and you played games.
That's really sad.
@@dontstalkmedeltoro8816What makes you think that he ignored her for no reason ? My guess is that he used such strategy whenever she was screaming at him , complaining about little things, physically abusing him , etc.
@@Dah42 he said he did.
You're excusing bad behavior.
You seem like you need therapy.
You are absolutely on target with all five statements, Emily. My first serious girlfriend would have checked off every one of them multiple times. As you were listing them, my mind was replaying memories of her that corroborated everything you were saying.
Good list! Re # 1, It's sweet when your kids tell you that you're much better off. Sad, but still sweet! Lol!
You nailed it again. Thanks Emily❤
The more a man learns about women, the more he appreciates his dog.
Well I did learn that a woman that wants to be the stronger can be. I learned that a young age.
Yep she can jump on Mr Happy more than once until he spits dust. If she wants to.
DO NOT expect that if you marry her. She has already shown you who the boss is.
..just bought a Pup Cup, and we're on our way to the Dog Park right NAO! 💪 👊 🐕
Emily- You have such great insight; and your delivery is so clear & pleasant.
(not to mention your physical beauty)
Thank you for everything you do, for us.
First time watcher.
1. Totally agree. Every time I rejected an approach from a woman they go volatile.
2. If it gets to 70/30, it isn’t worth the effort.
3. Depends on how they grow up. My older niece just got married & growing demanded attention.. The younger one, by 2.5 years, doesn’t feel urgent to settle down.
4. Power struggles are an issue. If the dynamics change & the relationship doesn’t evolve/develop, it causes issues. Look at TBBT. Howard/Bernadette evolved with B in the superior position. Although she would struggle to gain the house in a divorce. Leonard/Penny in the opposite direction. P is devoted to L despite being more financially stable.
5. After a split, the ex (communications pro) thought I started dating a nurse 5 years younger than her. Doesn’t help when the ex believes every negative rumour about me.
I accept all this is cannon fodder for future ideas.
Still nailing it 100%. Can't dispute an point on your list.
I attended a group workshop, led by a licensed psychologist, and of course we were talking about men and women and relationships. To the group was this; “If a woman approaches a man and asks him on a date she will, in fact, be the controller of the relationship for its entire life. So men be careful if a woman asked you out, she may have ulterior motives and you may be controlled to the extent that you will lose your guy friends and not feel very good about yourself.
Youre the best, Em!
Spot on truth. Thank you, ma'am.
well, tbh i cant handle rejection anymore. it happend so often that it literally drove me into depression that i stoped doing anything that can lead to rejection. i guess its about 2 factors: getting 80% rejection and 20% positive outcames is not euqal, but good enough to keep trying. 99 to 1 is a different story. and the second parts: your mental strenght, how much does rejection afflict you?. also the "no thanks i have a boyfriends" always felt like rejection to me.. why? because ive seen countless times, that the right guy apporaching a women who is in a relationship basically snags her away because she eighter lies about it and says shes single, or is considering to jump on that new train. any no, is aimed towards you, but that no, isnt set in stone for every guy out there. so the boyfriend is no circumstance, in that guys case, hes not even a obstacle. and youre right about the invisbility. iam 38 now, and since iam 34, i basically played by the same rule, not seeing. meaning any situation i see a women, thats need help, direction or attention, ill acitivly overlook her
Honestly though, would you want a woman who are not loyal and would leave her current partner for that “right” man? In my mind, I would rather be rejected by all women who are faithless and if that means I am rejected by all women, so be it. Right now, you can focus on being the best version of yourself without the distractions of a faithless or narcissistic woman. You can also learn to handle rejection in a healthy way like going after jobs that are uncomfortable for you or trying to become friends with people that have the traits you wish to learn. Always grow. Always strive to become better.
no, i wouldnt. iam just saying that no matter what the downside of that is, the boyfriend excuse isnt a universal no and if youre not interested in longterm releation with that women anyway, theres no problem for you.
iam not sure if i should learn to handle it better, what for, to keep getting rejected, but not suffer as much? it doesnt change the end goal. its like learning to life with chronic pain, when all you want, is the pain to go away. growing and become a better version of yourself isnt easy, if your default is almost the exact opposite of what the average women wants and youre not as fit anymore, after suffering from a stroke and beeing on disability pension@@eyekhan6099
As a man rejection starts early. Like being picked last for team sports. When a girl says no we move on. I've always put in more effort in relationships. I've learned I can't keep it up forever. Men can be comfortable alone. #5 I've never experienced as I've never cared what my exes thought. If they wanted to keep me they all knew what I expected I never kept it a secret. One gf whom I had a conversation about her lack of effort said I can't give you what you want. I'm not expecting more than 8m giving. She said I know. The most honest conversation I ever had with a gf. We broke up but I respected her.
Excellent analysis. It confirms and gives solace.
Your hubby has a real treasure in such an exceptionally insightful woman. We males are heartened by you having our back.
Great video Emily! How about a video about the little things a woman can do to make her man feel on top of the world? Example: One of the few times my ex-wife did something like that for me. I was at the computer answering email, I was jonesing about a lot of things, just generally having a lousy day. She came up and hugged me from behind and said she loved me and that she believed in me! I felt like I could take on the whole world after that! It was just a momentary thing, but it made my whole year! Thanks again for all the work you're doing! It is greatly appreciated by all of us men who are looking for a woman who hopefully is following your lead!!!
I disagree with number one, though I'm perhaps admittedly an outlier. My early life was filled with nothing but rejection from others. I never fit in. My interests diverged from my peers. Life was pain, hurt, and loneliness. There came a point when I figured out that you can't be rejected if you don't try. I became comfortable being alone and doing my own thing. There's no way, especially in today's world, where I'd walk up to an unknown woman I found attractive and ask for a date. There's a 99% chance I'd suffer rejection again, and probably a 10% chance that she'd ask the manager of whatever store we were at that I be removed for "stalking" her. It's just not worth it. Women, if you see a guy you'd like to know better, TALK TO HIM and make it obvious you are fishing for a date. I'd be clueless as to your intentions otherwise and assume you were just being chatty. I'd be friendly back but not assume interest.
Anyway, you handled rejection better than a woman... Because you found a solution to avoid it, and probably NEVER COMPLAINED ABOUT IT but here. Also, you didn't go medieval to these women who rejected you, right?
Dude, no man LIKES rejection, but maybe some deeply masochistic guys. We handle it, but we don't like it. On the other hand, women don't like rejection too, but they CAN'T HANDLE IT. At all. And if they go the same path you went to, then you'll hear them complaining about it CONSTANTLY - and often on social networks - so they can appear as VICTIMS.
Did you tried to play the victim because of these rejection you had to endure? Probably never, right? So you're just proving this point...
And to solve your problem of being alone, go overseas, bro. I did that, I'm happier than ever now.
Women will never take the initiative; "That's the man's job."
Women don't take responsibility, and can't or won't think logically. Manipulation of others is their coin.
Many women are children in adult bodies. Avoid them.
Paying for an escort is a bargain compared to marriage.
In 2015 I "rejected" my wife of 9 years by divorcing her. She still hasn't gotten over to this day. She has bounced from relationship to relationship and can't do better. If she hadn't checked herself out of rehab three times we would still be together.
Assuming her checking out of rehab was your fault, not hers, right? Their delusions can be very strong.
All five of these things come from constant competition! Rejection, attention, ability to bounce back, make the best out of a bad situation. You learn these things during sports, games, growing up with brothers.