Coming from a man it’s Not Sex… It’s Intimacy that we want in our top 3. Intimacy incorporates Sex, affection, love, and honor. Respect I think is #1. We want our women to be Supportive, content, committed and trustworthy of our relationship/ willing to protect our relationship at all cost. I think Intimacy is #2. #3 is to be peaceful… Men don’t want nagging women or women crying or screaming about every little thing. Just speak normally and work with us on problems, not against us.
men need to be respected and honoured. men to be given sex intimacy and romance. men need to feel their woman want them and not to feel low. men dont like sarcasm hurt words etc.
Exactly and this is the order sex then intimacy. for men especially men a little bit older let's say 35 or better it's not the sex that We crave and need and desire it's the intimacy. we don't get the intimacy without the sex if the two could be separated that would be fine. I remember us doing tantric sex About energy flow and very gentle touching and just being sensual together for a very long time it would lead into sex at the end but it was very intimate and even if it didn't lead to sex it still would have been fine
Some women just want a provider (benefactor) and don't care that they are just friends. Ironically, the bad boys they want aren't stable husband material. They don't realize that they can't have it all.
Naw dawg Not falling for *MGTOW (Andrew Tateism)* 40 States in US on *Divorces* Wonder about the other *14-16 States* Says on Marriage.And Enforced Marriage. _____________ Do better 'Murica'Cuz Rest of The World is Laughing at - *You*
@@BrookeLyn39 And a good man won't dispute that. A good relationship is a two-way street out of love and concern for each other. The point of this video is to highlight that emotionally checking out in a marriage by withholding physical intimacy is a bad thing. Can men do it to women? Sure. Is it still a problem if the wife does it to her husband. Yes. If the husband is doing something to cause emotional withdrawal, then the wife owes it to herself and her husband to address the problem instead of relying on mind reading (men hate the mind reading game). If she has tried address the problem to no avail, then couples therapy needs to happen and with a therapist that isn't biased against men.
Okay. Sounds good. The pattern I see is the wife feeling as if she's working too much, in and out the household or the case of infidelity on the part of the husband. The wife shuts down sexually. To her the marriage has been violated. Now the man validates the infidelity crying that he's not being satisfied. Counseling? Have you ever owned a brand new white suit? Someone drags it in the mud. You will never get it clean again. The damage has been done and you're delaying the inevitable.
@@BrookeLyn39 Hey Brook, it doesn't sound to me like you really think what I wrote is good. My perspective is balanced, non-sexist, and seeks solutions. I think yours is the exact opposite. In my life, I've met two kinds of people. The first kind is a defeatist mindset. The defeatist only sees problems with no solutions. The defeatist has already given up because "that's not gonna work." The defeatist looks for the easy way out and the path of least resistance. The opportunist is a person who recognizes problems and looks for solutions. The opportunist does not commit the fallacy of the perfect solution. The opportunist sees faults in themselves, not just in other people, and sees this as an opportunity to grow even if things don't go according to plan. I choose to be an opportunist.
Sex is what makes us feel close, and a vast majority of us men "do things" to show we care. From car maintenance, home, and upkeep, along with working hard to provide. Sex is one action that makes us feel like we matter, and loved.
Intimacy is paramount to a woman. Intimacy usually culminates in sex. Men often translate the word sex to mean orgasm. If a man takes the time to give a woman the intimacy she truly Needs to be healthy, then he also gets the orgasm he thinks is his due. A win/win. Without intimacy, without foreplay, loving playful interaction, then he’s just another job. He gets what he wants, she just gets screwed.
Totalky agree. Part of the fullfilment of sex is seeing her being pleased by what your doing. I lovevit when my wife grabs me real hard and moans in extasy. Its really the best part.
@@stacyshoemaker9177 when one of those faults is that my "laugh is really irritating" it shows she's just complaining. Everyone has faults and shortcomings. Unless a flaw happens to be detrimental to health and well being of your spouse there is no need to ever bring it up. I know I'm not perfect so I don't bring up my wife's faults. She's needs to return the favor. Fault-finding is a mindset that extends to more than just the marriage. Wives shouldn't try to change their husbands and husbands their wives.
It's too early, it's too late, I'm too tired, I'm too busy is just a partial list of excuses for every day of the week. Nothing for weeks or months at a time has been HER normal from the wedding night on. The best line I have ever heard from a counselor was, "most women spend far more time making excuses than they ever spend making an effort".
It's not #1 but it's very important. If we're not having sex we may as well be roommates. And yes I understand that women are not always in the mood, life happens etc. But as a husband, you can't just neglect your parts of the marriage because you're "not in the mood." Nobody would find that acceptable.
I'm not fixing the brakes on the car because I don't like that it's too hot outside. It's your birthday, so I guess I have to buy you an expensive present. But if I can get away with not doing it, yay. We're married now, so I don't have to do any of the chores if I am not in the mood. You understand, right?
Yes as sex is part of what makes a relationship if women are saying no that's not true their relationship will fail and all the guys they dated would be treated as friends or being used. Like you can't just date someone and not expect anything to happen. As again at that point just be friends with benefits.
As a father and husband, here are the five things I need/want from my wife: 1. RESPECT 2. PRAISE & PEACE 3. SEX 4. STOMACH FULL 5. LOYALTY That's it. As a husband, it's my responsibility to love my wife, Date her, provide, protect , and lead her.
@neneosei7168 Check to make sure she's fulfilling the priorities that come before s3x. This is why s3x is not number 1 priority. If she is fulfilling the other priorities that come before s3x, then she should sit down and talk with him, without erupting into anger if she hears something you dislike. Don't use the man's words against him so that he can feel safe opening up to you.
It’s especially hard for a husband who has no other vices or addictions like smoking, doing drugs, or drinking alcohol. Sex is the only dopamine dump that I get. So I have nothing to dissipate my stress. I just internalize it and it has been turning into anger and aggression. It’s literally how I believe grumpy old men are created.
Maybe that is your problem, viewing sex as a drug! What about showing love amd gentleness to your wife instead of expecting and demanding something of her?
@@NarnianLady Are you kidding? Are you denying that men have physical needs within a marriage? Are you saying that a man's needs are not important? Most men are all about showing love and gentleness, and I will go so far to say that most women don't have the slightest concept of what real love is nor do they know how to show it. Women are selfish and are only concerned for what they need from the man, and the vast majority of men are hyper-romantic to a fault, always bending to the desires of the wife and are always sacrificing their own happiness in deference to the needs of the woman. Women aren't romantic in the least. They only expect and demand romance from the man, and if he can't live up to her expectations in that regard, she throws him out like a piece of trash. 75-80% of divorces are initiated by women, and that number increases to over 95% for college educated women. That is a proven statistic. backed up by governmental data. Another proven statistic is that women divorce because of their own perceived "unhappiness" in about 70% of those divorces, wherein happiness is in reality their own responsibility and it's their own fault for being unhappy. Women are not happy people. They have no inherent ability for contentment. They always want more than a normal man can give them, and that is where hypergamy comes into play. For women, the grass is always greener under Chad's or Tyrone's feet.
@@NarnianLady Again with this nonsense. "Expecting and demanding"...yes, sex in marriage IS an expectation, and if it's not given willingly (WHICH IT SHOULD BE), then it shouldn't be surprising that a guy turns to demanding. Not that it does any good, clearly, since a wife that won't sex her husband does not love him. The mental gymnastics women like you go through to try to justify denying the most basic and required element of a marriage is sickening. Sex is what makes marriage different from a friendship. It is literally, historically and legally in many places, grounds for annulment if denied. Can you imagine forbidding someone to eat anywhere other than at home, then not feeding that person? So how can you expect fidelity if you don't give your husband sex at home?? So yes, sex is a rightful expectation in a marriage.
This lady on the left is an endangered species. The government needs to protect her at all costs as we only have one left. You are incredible and have a truly real big heart in all facets of life. Hope the world treats you wonderful and with respect.
I plain forgot that I "checked out" years ago because of the infrequency. As a man, if you have to get rejected 9 out of 10 times, it damages your ego, it's depressing and then its just not worth it anymore.
I had a sexless marriage where I felt denigrated & rejected - 10 times in 4 years & refused 99 times and was “humored” once in a while until I gave up, & another woman swooped in & grabbed what she had been rejected!
i dont blame you for looking back, yea it was awhile but im sure the time added up without noticing, a slow boil. yea if you want it find a woman who will get it :)
One of the best choices I’ve ever made was to not deny my husband. There are times I have to tell him “later”, but I’ve never said no. I don’t want to deny him a need, just like I don’t want him denying me a need.
Personal question but sincere, no answer if too uncomfortable, but do you feel the desire and initiate sex sometimes or do you wait for him or a bit of both? If my wife felt the desire that would be so exciting for me. Not out of duty but simple pleasure. Duty would turn me off?
My wife does this for me, not only does it make me want to show her love in ways that matter most to her - her love language so to speak - it makes me go above and beyond because she does it for me even when I have a short groan/eye roll. Love reciprocated both ways is love that grows exponentially
This hit the nail right on the head in my marriage. Sex? What's that? After 52 years of marriage, I am still very much active and interested, taking care of my own needs all the time. I receive no praise or compliments from her. Even after going out of my way to show some affection, she begins with pushing my buttons and starting an argument about some pity thing in the house. It keeps the walls up and we just co-exist in this house. I have always since day one, tell her that having sex bonds our marriage and she ignores this theory. She is just interested on one thing...our financial situation as we are preparing for retirement. I am at my wits end, trying to keep this marriage together. People praise how long we had been married. Little do they know the hardships, suffering and heart break that I had to endure. To keep my commitment and prevent me from packing up and walking out the door.
I'd leave. That's a form of rejection that affects a person in most aspects of life. Shame on her! And I'm sorry you're going through that but boy I admire you for staying. Once you guys are retired, there won't be anything left between you if she keeps this up. I'm 67, I understand. I always had the higher libido in my marriage.
I'm so tired of people ignoring the fact that male circumcision was marketed to destroy the sexual satisfaction of men and women. Kellogg was also pushing to have females cut too. Our sex lives and ability to to connect were destroyed by design. This is not a gender war. This is the byproduct of a divide and conquer strategy to destroy the family unit by design, and for profit. They say that "sex sells," actually it a "problem solution" market system and people profit heavily on this destruction just to turn around to sell us the fake "solution" later. We've ALL been robbed for profits.
As a married woman of almost a decade. Props to those who have made it past this. I have always made myself available to my husband, even when I was mad at him. I hadn’t given it much thought, but staying actively engaged intimately has helped our relationship last.
Do you have a sister that feels the same way? Any man will go to the ends of the earth for their woman if they put out, period! I wanted my wife during my entire marriage. The physical touch alone is phenomenal. Kissing is an absolute must!
I absolutely agree! You still have to work out the issues, but the men are less edgy and more amenable to solving the problem of the day. We have been married 43 years, but the basic nature of a man doesn’t change. My wife also made herself available and didn’t set conditions. That’s just one aspect of unconditional love. Earlier today, I listened to a woman closer to your own age who had keen insight on another aspect, that is living deeply. She said it’s when you see all the faults of your man, and love him anyway. That’s one more facet of unconditional love. This past year, my wife was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, and hasn’t been able to do as much. So I needed to pick up the slack. Some days, most of my time goes into serving her best interests, especially when a long trip to see a specialist is involved. When your spouse can’t do that much without assistance, or doing it for her, it also means living her unconditionally. So our relationship has gotten stronger when she has gotten weaker.
My wife will, what she calls it, dead fish it, and just let me handle my desires. I tell her I appreciate it multiple times and she's like be quite. I explain to her the relief, the after effects and how it just makes the day so much better.
In my last serious relationship, intimacy had dwindled to zero. It was horrible. My girlfriend had checked out. But, she was pushing for marriage. If things were bad already, getting married wasn't going to magically fix everything. I'd be trapped! No thanks.
You did the right thing. Been married 10 years. Trust me it only gets worse. Like having sex with a mannequin. They just lay there so you can do your business. What kind of BS is that. There is no benefit for a man to get married.
In my previous relationship i went over a year without sex, after a while I just kind of checked out of the relationship, stopped trying. Went to work came home, watched tv, went to bed rinse and repeat. Then my ex complained that i wasn't putting enough effort into the relationship anymore and I basically just shrugged. Then when she said it was over I didn't even care, I was just like alright, i will sleep on the couch for a couple months while I look for a place and if you don't like that option you can go get a court order to move me out of "OUR" house and then she complained that I wasn't fighting to stay together. Why would I fight to stay with a roommate who wants me to move out.
MANY men have been there, me included. Stayed for my daughter. One year, post divorce, I still can’t bring my self to date. If I want sex, I’ll rent it.
They are mad and confused. Honestly, there is something wrong in womens head. The same woman will tell another man that there is no sex in her relationship. She would complian to the man that you don’t touch me. Losing God is western society has destroyed women. My advice to men is, make Money, marry many women, have multiple girlfriends, let them compete for you. That is the only way they are serious
I was there, I had a long honest conversation with my wife and I asked her to lay out her top 3, and I gave her my top 3 thing. Sex and intimacy was #1. We've been trying for 2 weeks (I was giving it 4 weeks of trying) and she came to me and said that she wants to fuck. So have an honest conversation first. If you feel like you're going to get into an argument go out to a coffee shop. Unless she's the type of person that will argue in front of anybody.
My wife of 23 years has always been really good in this area. I can’t remember a time when she’s turned me away and she actively participates. It keeps our bond strong and the two of us connected
After nearly 32 years with my husband I can assuredly say that a healthy sex life and mutual respect & consideration are necessary for a successful marriage. A wife who is respectful of her spouse & who openly desires him is a very, very sexy & attractive thing to a man. Women want to be desired, but so do men! Yes, life gets busy, but making time for one another determines the longevity of your relationship.
I just want to share that you are spot on with, "openly desires him". To me, this is part of the 'communication' that men want, need. If the only time she communicates that she wants sex is when she's complaining about something, it becomes a double negative to how the man feels about sex *with her*. First, he doesn't know she wants it since she isn't openly showing that desire, and 2nd, the complaining. If the subject becomes a frustration, the man will check out of sex as well - *with her*. It may look like ED, but I assure you, it is not. It's only ED *with her*, and largely due to the lack of communication - openly desiring.
You desire your husband because he treats you right. I have a great sex life with my husband but I didn't with my ex because he was too busy turning his head after other women and he was not the man he was on our dates the first few moths. If a woman doesn't want sex with her man, it's 100% his fault! These women in the video make a living out of bitter, sad men who are angry opposite sex haters just like the crazy feminists and these are their supporters to keep the chaos between men and women.
Yes, her name is Karyn Seitz and she presents on her RUclips channel “The Happy Wife School”. Karyn has been through a lot and has come out humbled on the other side. Karyn is the best teacher for women today that I have found…and wise for Melanie to give Karyn due respect in this video...
this is her most based video yet. all of the progressives are going to cope and seethe hearing this message. but it's true since women are willing to have sex with any man attractive enough and forgo any prior rules she had exposing hypocrisy and inconsistency.
As a divorced man, I can relate to this. In the marriage I had, I remember being treated as a tool to be used to provide resources. For a woman who let herself go, wouldn't reciprocate. Not just in sex. But wouldn't even cook or clean. Basically, I was giving 100% and receiving 0%. As a Christian, I believe that sex should be reserved for marriage. But I'm terrified of getting married again, because I know what it's like to then be locked into a relationship where your needs aren't met, yet everything is taken from you.
Well said brother, I can relate 100%. Some lessons we need to learn the hard way. Remember: other people will respect you only as much as you respect yourself. Make clear what your needs are, set the boundary, and stand up for yourself. If none of these work then you MUST walk away.
Definitly not having a go at your faith, but I have never understood why sex needed to be reserved for marriage. Absolutely don't be promiscuous, don't spread diseases, don't get girls you have no intention of being with pregnant, and all the negative connotations that are used to dmonise sex outside of wedlock. That's just about having self-respect and standards. But what's that got to do with sex outside of marriage? You should avoid being a tool regardless of whether you are married. I mean we teach 16 year olds to drive a car, in some places you can learn to fly an aeroplane at 15, we just teach them how to do it correctly, sensibly and safely, but there is no conceivable reason why they shouldn’t be able to do it.
@@BrookeLyn39 she got fat, she got lazy, she refused sex, she wouldn't cook, she wouldn't clean & she expected HIM to be a traditional provider. Whores.
I swear to you all women the woman with the grey hair is a liar, she just was used by men just for sex but she was never loved by one of them but just used for sex and this is maybe everything for a man because he can take advantage of you but it’s NOT love!
Don’t do it. Take some old man advice. Do you have any idea how many unhappily married men, divorced men, men paying alimony and child support who would trade places with you?
This really educated me and I appreciate the commentary you added. I was raised in a home where sex before marriage was taboo and sex in general was something inappropriate to discuss or anything of the sort. Sex is not important to me at all and I think that’s due to how I was raised. I did not realize how important it is to my husband. We’ve been married 14 years and I just assumed he thought of it like I do because I never discussed it with him. I’m determined to do better. He’s a wonderful provider, husband and dad and he deserves my best. Thank you for the time you took to share this.
I commend you for allowing yourself to explore ideas and concepts that go against your current state of mind, it not only demonstrates your willingness and dedication to learn, but also how much you care for your husband. If you do Infact enhance your sex life with your husband, I hope your relationship with him sky rockets to new heights and that both of you flourish.
Awesome to hear you are even willing to do what it takes. My wife, when she's not in the mood, will offer up "dead fish" which is just a "hey, Ill lay there for you and let you get yours". I mean....how hard can that be other than the mess afterwards but it takes care of your man. I always say a good woman never lets her man leave the house with full balls....it's a recipe for cheating. There is ALWAYS some whore out there ready to destroy your marriage...keep him happy and he's less likely to cheat plus he has your goodies on him (marked territory). Lol
This is a great take. And I'm not going to say "you're a great wife" for saying this. I will say you're a great partner because this sort of thinking is great from either side. It's not just a woman's place to think like this. As men we have different needs from women, it's true. But I think the idea of realizing that we do and feeling the drive to meet those needs from a place of love is a great way to look at a relationship. Thank you for sharing.
Wow, I literally am with my Fiancee who grew up the same way and had the same thoughts you do/did on the subject. Currently I am trying to explain it to her without coming off as a pig or whatever. I am doing my best to be understanding. But I told her, with marriage on the horizon for us, this issue is a fear that I am struggling with and hope that it does not cause major problems in the future. Thank you for sharing
And the worst aspect of this is the unavoidable realisation of the wasted life, the lost opportunities, the undeniable fact of co-responsibility. _Get busy living, or get busy dying,_ while true, is alas just a quote from a movie. One would think that an intelligent, reasonable man could somehow have altered his fate...
Wow, I could have written that. I always think I get all of the s-t work and none of the perks of marriage. I believe sex is the glue that holds a relationship together. It’s interesting how many others are dealing with this. There are no easy answers.
Yeah, but have you ever turned down a woman for sex? Ever tell a woman you're "too tired"? Women DO NOT handle it well. Why they may feel it is entirely reasonable to deny a man sex, they cannot handle a man doing the same thing. It's a window into their thought process.
I was married for 40 years until my wife died at Age 64. Sex was an integral part of our relationship that bonded us together, and made us a couple On average, we probably had sex every day (conservatively that equates to 14, 000 times ). I do not remember ever being refused we even had sex during her periods as she always appeared to be ready to be intimate. We used to call sex when we went to bed "Horlicks" as it made us sleep contented snuggled up together.
The three most common phrases I hear justifying freezing men out: "Your wife is NOT your property." "You don't own your spouse" "You don't owe your partner sex." All of that undermines the very notion of commitment and an exclusive relationship.
I guess I just got lucky.... My wife wants to get this chocolate bar every night and we're married and been together 21yrs since high school 😂 I'm blessed. I will say that you must be genuine. Like we really are best friends and enjoy each others company. I hope every one can find that person that they share a kindred spirit with.
I'm glad you have found a good woman. There aren't as many of them around that won't cheat in some way or another. Whether it be an emotional or physical affair. I'm happy for you, man.
They don't hear you fam.. Today's women are agents of chaos.. No matter how good you are to them, provide for them, help them succeed.. It's still not enuf and they will cause disharmony in the relationship.. 90% of women are dysfunctional, and can't control their own biological emotional rollercoaster!!.. It will be your fault that yall are arguing.. 10% of women are incontrol of their feelings and emotions and make good loving wives.. However they are needles in the haystack and very hard to find.. Proverbs 31 says, "A virtuous woman, who can find one?"
Been married twice....first wife after 5 years of marriage started the "I don't really need sex" B.S. and it finally ended our marriage. The second wife loves sex more than I do....top that guys and after 30 years it hasn't changed. I guess I got lucky!
Married 30 years. I see that I married a unicorn. We waited until marriage (Christian) and she has been giving, enthusiastic, and always willing to discuss my needs. She still initiates more than me. And... I am lower income and disabled now. In truth, she's overweight and nobody would look at her twice, but I've never seen anyone sexier or desired anyone more.
As Christians, my wife and both I saved sex for marriage. Once married and we began having sex I was shocked at how it suddenly became so important to me. We had a great dating relationship with no sex, but to have a good marriage it had to be there for me. My wife struggled to understand why it was suddenly so important to me but we got past that and have a fantastic time with it now. Now it's important to her as well and life is great.
Are your wives on birth control? Are they working full-time? My husband and I noticed a huge change in bedroom behavior after I quit birth control and became a stay-at-home wife (soon to be mother). The hormones in those drugs really do mess with us biologically so maybe give that a try? And honestly if she's working full-time, she might not see physical intimacy as her duty anymore because she's working just as hard as you are. No offense, but if you aren't providing, the woman won't "provide" either. Hopefully that helps and you can have more fun in your relationship.
theres nothing in the bible which says "no sex before marriage", its just a prude mentality.. also if you get all the way to be wed without once doing anything in sex, shes not into you enough to have a relationship..
@@calvinsFuntimeBounceHouse Sorry if this is showing up multiple times, something weird seems to happen when I try to post this: You are incorrect about what the Bible says. Fornication is sex between people who are not married and the Bible is very clearly against it. See 1 Cor6:9-10 as one of many examples condemning fornication in no uncertain terms. If the abstinence is about commitment to God it is a good thing. There are plenty of Christian men and women with perfectly healthy sex drives who deeply love and desire each other who are committed to saving sex for after the wedding. My wife and I have been married nearly 35 years now, we have only been with each other and it creates a oneness and bond that can't be put into words. I don't think anybody goes around wishing their spouse slept around more before they got married.
My ex-wife "friend zoned" me. Her "man" is her corporate job. She gives her job her ABSOLUTE best. She gives our children her ABSOLUTE best. I got the leftovers for years. I couldn't take it any more. To this day, she still believes she is the victim. I don't even share how I was feeling because she'll look at me like "be serious".
What do you mean, you couldn't take it anymore? Did you leave? Because you should have. People will say well, what about the children... Well, she hurt the children, it's her fault for abandoning her husband. I hate to say it but many times, women have Outlets that you don't know about. Sounds like she may be the main provider, yes? If so, it still does not matter, she has a duty to her husband.!
idk, if she was giving my children her Absolute best, I would be satisfied. Because ultimately, that's the main point of marriage. Divorce is going to scar your children, no matter who is at fault or no matter how old they are.
I have a very similar experience. Husbands are just being taken for granted. We may as well be robot-servants, with no need beyond basic food + sleep. Yet, we must come through at every turn whenever she has a need (a quite regular occurrence), lest she flies off the handle out of pure entitlement. Very little sense of duty towards her husband in the day-to-day life (job gets plenty, though). At least, she mostly does right by our son.
I think hugs are way underrated. Most good decent men don't even get that from their wives, let alone sex. But if a woman won't give you sex at least show him you appreciate him and give him a hug.
wtf you talking about? dude wake tf up! hugs? go get a dog if you want hugs. If you're breaking your back and becoming a slav3 for a woman you should get way more than a fk hug. white boys i swear.
@@AlexMinorI sure can identify with that, my friend. It was a very cruel gesture (of many and much gaslighting from her through 25 plus years of marriage) of being refused a kiss. No warmth. She killed our intimacy, our marriage just because she could.
Hugs are all my wife wants. Problem is even touching my wife turns me on. Because why marry a girl if sex is off the table? "Why does everything always have to lead to sex??" she asks. And to her I ask this "why did you practically grape me on our second date when you didn't even know me?" 🤷♂️
My husband has a very high sex drive but I am more than happy to meet his needs and give him release. But I'm a Christian and that's what I am here for...as his helper and helpmeet. It's how my Mom treated my Dad and my sister's treat their husband's. It's important to stay thin and always look attractive for him because of all the temptations at the workplace. My husband has a secretary and two office assistants and all three dress to the nines every day in heels and full makeup etc. There's lots of competition out there so make sure he's happy at home or you might get left in the dust.
Definitely in the top three. If you plan on withholding sex in a marriage, it is a recipe for infidelity & DISASTER. It shows a degree of cruelty that goes beyond words. Great video, Mel!
It's #1 because it's the only thing a heterosexual man can't get himself or from another man. A heterosexual man can share a home and finances with another man, but he can't get WAP from another man.
I just want to preface this by saying I do not condone cheating in a relationship…with that said, many times a man will cheat on his wife specifically because she’s not wanting to have sex with her husband. So then he feels neglected. Society preaches everything to make women happy; completely forgetting that a successful marriage involves both partners being loved, appreciated, and seen.
In the USA, marriage is now being promoted as a man doing everything possible to keep a wife ‘happy’ while she has no obligations to reciprocate in any way. Only HER happiness matters.
@@RonHarrisMuscle Which is stupid, because if anything, it should be the complete opposite. Women should be doing everything to make their man happy. We go through way more crap and stress in life than women do. The least they could do is get our rocks off and belly full.
I was made to feel subhuman, sinful to expect sexual intimacy, with my wife. Ex wife, I left her, no regrets, only should have done it sooner, and forgiven her sooner, not borne a grudge for so long. It is above cruelty to neglect your husband, call it as it is, abuse! 😢
I'm down with everything you said except the forgiveness. How many years did you toil as her workhorse? How many resources did she extract from you during that time? Then: Half of everything you built? Child support? Alimony? No, there will be no forgiveness.
@@gatodemierda forgiveness is key, she doesn't deserve it, but for my sake only. You only torture yourself by the grudge you hold against them. Only when i did that could i heal and move on, took me ten years to forgive her though!
This is me right now. I’ve been caught twice “talking” to other women over our 20 year sexless marriage. I was raked over the coals both times. I did not have sex with either of them. But I’m the bad guy, right? I’ve just decided to give up and be miserable. At least until our daughter is grown. Then, I’ll have more leverage to give her an ultimatum.
Nearly cried while watching the video - about 10 times of intimacy/sex per year for 4 year, that I have thought that it is because of me, being not good enough, not fit enough, not caring enough... So I worked extra hard on being a good husband and father, and on myself. Every day after work, would just be with the family. But hearing you talking about the desire of women is not having a stable life, things started to make sense to me. We fundamentally want different things, I want happy stable life and happy marriage, and she does not. It is great to hear the perspective from another woman. Thank you.
Agreed. I love the friend zone comment. She raises a valid point about why men aren’t marrying. If I had a nickel for every man I knew who said he had more and better sex after he got married, I’d have exactly zero nickels.
That’s not true I was married and we had amazing sex and that’s why he didn’t wanna leave. He was still after me then that’s the only thing we had was amazing!!!! Now I have nothing. 😂🤦♀️
As this woman clearly stated, women know damn well what they are doing. They just don't care because you are the guy they settled for. Know this gentlemen. Make your exit as best you can.
I stay single, I'm hip to the game. I'm not giving anyone a DIME or a minute of my time. If I want a wife I'll go to the Philippines. Those women are real women.
@@Ed-xv4sy, be careful! - They may appear to be "real", but they can also use you as a westerner to get a "free ticket" to a green card, then dump you shortly after! I know, as I saw a friend experience this some years back. Woman can be/or are very manipulative and selfish! They will use anyone to get what they want, and they'll use sex to get it!
agreed but know this; you and I will piss off most of the idiots who think this feminist system is worth keeping because wanting to stay single is simply heresy to them. we need a damn counter crusade against feminism/social progressivism IMHO. @@Ed-xv4sy
No, they don't care because they know the court system, Government and society is completely rigged in their favor so the man has no options, no counter balance. Once the sucker signs the marriage license, he's a slave to the state, the woman wields this power as a weapon and the man becomes husk of a man and typically broken.
I would like to get married one day but hearing stories like this ...make me really fearful of it ....While at the same time not a hump , pump and dump type of guy ...!!!
What people fail to mention is that a man who is taking care of business, doing for his woman but starts to see consistent rejection will in time not only lose attraction but will also resent that women.
Did you listen to the video? she said the sex dried up AFTER marriage. They know what they're doing. The good sex is for chad, when travelling, girls night etc. Marriage to them is RETIREMENT, it is a period where you do everything and break your back like slav3
Make it known from the start. Be clear. "If you even try to play games with withholding, I'll dissolve this relationship so fast it'll make your head spin." And be prepared to follow through.
How about not having s*x until getting married? Date for an appropriate amount of time to really get to know her. People move WAY to fast in today's world.
I’ve been watching her . As a married man this woman is so on point ! 😀 she needs to get to the woman because she has all the men. I’ve been dying to figure out on how to get my wife to listen to her . Without getting into danger with her . This woman needs a medal oh honor from all the men .
Sincerely, if you figure out a way, please share it. I'm blessed by my wife - but I'm worried my sons may be stuck with sex less wives. (I like the wives, I just want somehow to help them and my sons with this truth.) Cannot think of a way to send this video to the wives... Without ruining our family relationships.
If you're worried about getting into danger with your wife, you already are in danger. You cannot ever, ever be afraid to communicate 100% with your wife. If you are scared of the outcome then you have an unhealthy relationship and would be better off leaving.
Yeah, IMO refusing wives (you can probably make that spouses but I'm a man and refusing wife is my experience) will NEVER listen to this kind of material. They will only find and accept resources that justify their behaviour.
Oddly enough, most guys requirements are similar and everything on their lists is free. Women really have it easy. 1) Sex 2) Respect and communication skills. If she expects me to read her mind then she can just move out. 3) Cook / clean (I could do this on top of everything else but the fact that she has nothing else to do all day makes this something she can do to contribute) Distant 4th) Entertaining/fun - I’m not expecting much here because she’ll never be funnier or more entertaining than my friends. Just don’t go out of her way to be annoying. * loyal / honest- this is just implied so no need to assign it a number.
I agree, it is an important part of showing your love to your lover. The appreciation, the lust, the unrelenting love that you feel for that person. Sex isn't just a way of getting sexual satisfaction when you do it with someone you love. It is a form of showing the passion of your love for that person, and it can also give you the release of the stress that you and your lover may be experiencing. The endorphins give us the temporary freedom of the weight of our responsibilities. To make love is to give your partner the relief they need after the hellish day they may of been having, while casual sex is just a form of self gratification that has no love behind it. -Jack
It's one of the few arenas where men can fully express their emotions. There are so many social expectations around men controlling their emotions in everyday life.
Do you ever think that some men are selfish in the sexual relationship with their wife? A Grand majority of husbands are clueless or don't care. ( Most men will be at some point) 5 minutes and couple squirts later he's done. Her on the other hand pays the higher price of the sexaul union with a chance of 36 weeks pregnancy, ( All types BC have failure rate.) and other health issues because of it, and she hasn't had orgasm in the last couple of years - and only thing to show is a mess to clean up, The Juice isn't worth squeeze anymore. You don't need a partner to get endorphin fix.
Wholeheartedly agree with this 100%!! Also referencing your mention "lust" here, this is something I believe a lot of people (namely women) apparently misunderstand on a really bad level. I have always told people, there are 2 kinds of Lust: the one that people might generally label as 'bad lust' is the type that leads to a lot of casual or FwB sex (not saying these are wrong, but really not ideal for people who want a life partner). But the thing that a lot of people seem to fail to understand here is that, there is 'good lust' involved in a marital relationship when 2 people really love each other. When you really love your significant other, you will feel a lustful pull to them, but its ONLY for them and not for anyone else. I brought this up because I have noticed some people claiming to want something longterm seem to think any form of lust is evil or leads to cheating, when it isnt all one thing. The good kind of lust is actually beautiful when it comes from wanting only your spouse or significant other. 🙂
Sex shouldn't be a chore. If a woman doesn't want to have sex with a man, the more she begrudgingly does so, the more she will grow to resent him. *People do not deprive themselves* of that from which they get pleasure, unless it is harmful. So if a woman is withholding sex from a man for any reason other than medical (including hormonal changes), she is not sexually attracted to him and uses sex as a tool of manipulation. No amount of lecturing or counseling can/will fix that.
It is an intense form of communication, the most intense and one you can only get with someone you love. They say communication is 40% verbal, so much happen in a interaction that is not in words, when making love is the ultimate form of this.
The heartbreaking thing out of all of this is that, if and when a woman realizes the gravity of her actions (or inactions) and wants to change for the better, it may be too late, and he decides he wants out.
Usually, because she doesn't realise she did anything wrong until he leaves.... just like men getting blindsided by women leaving because he didn't get her 20,000 hints that she needs him to change. (Hint to women: Men don't get hints, TELL US!!!)
... a friend did that, & still still ended up divorced. I think the french have it right, just get a mistress or in the case of the ladies, a lover. problem solved... that's crazy you say ? ... well, modern researchers studied areas of "female sexual desire" as they to follow the science... ... & the latest research on female desire seems to indicate that you can't beat biological programming... & after 3-5 yrs, the romance between couples plummets.... :( ... Psychologist & Primatologist Dr. Kim Wallen (EmeryU Atlanta), has shown in his Rhesus monkey compounds, that female monkeys run the show wrt every aspect of monkey life, they are the Generals in War, the head of politics, they initiate ALL Sex, they do all the Objectifying & don’t hesitate to abandon their children to chase after various objects of desire .. they're basically *RAW*. Male monkeys on the other hand, tend to live to the side of family life & are SWAPPED OUT after ~3 yrs…why ? bc the female monkeys r too bored to have sex w them (~3.5 yrs in the wild) ... sound familiar ? If it does, no need to ever beat yourself up. Just don’t forget, gym/haircut, the ladies are RAW. ... as Bryan & science has uncovered & still is uncovering... [ See Daniel Bergner's 2013 TedX talk/Book "What do women really want" where he writes about 8 yrs worth of interviews w female & male researchers & scientists on the topic of female desire, a great read.. & likely a disturbing read for most men ]
I would rather date socially than get married again. The moment you're married and the newness wears off, you then become someone who simply provides her needs and wants. Nevermore!!!
Exactly. The worst part is, they feel entitled to it as well. Even though they fulfill none of their duties as a wife, they expect you to still fulfill all of your duties as a husband.
Imagine treating sex with your significant other, the love of your life, like it’s a chore, rather than something to look forward to. Men don’t get the same choice to opt out of our responsibilities in a relationship, we can’t not go to work and pay the bills because we “have a headache” or are “not in the mood” tonight.
Simp men give their women opportunities to opt out. Not me, No sex = No marriage. I have my own property, I won't get legally married and if she wants a marriage with me, she has to promise a healthy sex life. If she breaks her promise, she is not going to be with me. Kicked to the curb with what she brought into the relationship.
@@Austenfan177This. This is the hard truth that so many men refuse to accept. If your wife never _wants_ to have sex with you, and only ever does it out of a sense of obligation, she is not attracted to you, and doesn't love you. She never was, and she never did. She only loves the things you provide for her, and she'd definitely prefer those things came with a more attractive man in the package. You can never overcome this or change it. Your best option is to leave. If you cannot because of children in the picture, then heaven help you, because you f'd up. May your miserable life at least serve as a warning to others.
@@Austenfan177 And that is why you don’t try to turn a *Proper Garden Tool* into a housewife. Better to be alone than to be the bronze medal to the town bicycle.
Karen from the “happy wife school” is an excellent resource. Thanks for reviewing her content Melanie! It seems so few women actually make it to the “wife stage” anymore.
@@Guildofarcanelore I never cared to be married, so I can't say, but seeing what my friends went through even after a decade of ''being together'', it's been my experience that they're happy to get ''husband privileges'' without putting out a ring.
Sex is top 3 for men, physical touch is #1 for me. I had a similar experience in a 3 year relationship. At one point my ex shared with me that she wanted to stop having sex out of the blue and I was so confused. With guilt in my heart I had to lay it out bare, I won’t be staying in a sexless relationship so let’s end it now and started to cry and be the victim. I stood my ground because i thought it was selfish of her to already make this decision alone especially since this was a topic I had brought up on multiple occasions, voicing that I wanted us to work up to more intention with sex as a need for deeper connection. I talked her off that ledge but as you can guess the same selfish thinking made kept appearing so I broke up with her because I’m not here to be an unappreciated slave in my relationship. I wanted to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her, i’m glad I had the wisdom and courage to look at her clearly and know I will not be loved here
modern researchers delve into the less studied areas of "female sexual desire" as they to follow the science... ... the latest research on female desire seems to indicate that you can't beat biological programming... & after 3-5 yrs, the romance between couples plummets.... :( ... Psychologist & Primatologist Dr. Kim Wallen (EmeryU Atlanta), has shown in his Rhesus monkey compounds, that female monkeys run the show wrt every aspect of monkey life, they are the Generals in War, the head of politics, they initiate ALL Sex, they do all the Objectifying & don’t hesitate to abandon their children to chase after various objects of desire .. they're basically *RAW*. Male monkeys on the other hand, tend to live to the side of family life & are SWAPPED OUT after ~3 yrs…why ? bc the female monkeys r too bored to have sex w them (~3.5 yrs in the wild) ... sound familiar ? If it does, no need to ever beat yourself up. Just don’t forget, gym/haircut, the ladies are RAW. ... as science has uncovered & still is uncovering... [ See Daniel Bergner's 2013 TedX talk/Book "What do women really want" where he writes about 8 yrs worth of interviews w female & male researchers & scientists on the topic of female desire, a great read.. & likely a disturbing read for most men ]
This is so true, exactly why I'm separated now going into divorce stages currently. It was a miserable marriage and then told me one man's trash is the next man's treasure. I didn't find treasure at all nothing but another bill that I didn't need, divorce,moving, attorney fees etc..
At 6:25. I hear a lot of married women say they put out just to get it over with and keep him happy for another week or two. This is pretty depressing.
Her name is Karyn Seitz and she presents weekly on her RUclips channel “The Happy Wife School”. Karyn has been through a lot and has come out humbled on the other side. Karyn is the best teacher for women today that I have found to date. And wise for Melanie to highlight Karyn’s sound teaching.
Im 52; I’ve always had a strong sex drive. When my wife of 30 years embraced this concept, our marriage has improved 100%. I feel connected to her, happy with our relationship , and dream and fantasize constantly about sex with her. I also am really listening to her needs and work every day at meeting them.
This is why even in a marriage a man has to get comfortable with telling his wife NO. And not doing everything to make her happy. He can’t be afraid to lose her. When a wife sees that weakness she dries up and her legs close up.
The second you get married, you've forfeited all your rights. Do you guys think for a minute? the laws are in their favor, that's why they want you to be in a relationship or marriage. The only way you win is by pump and dump. Even that comes with consequences these days. If you want a good woman, go to the Philippines. Move there and stay there.
Close the door on her, or never turn off the AC. Or just step out of the marriage and don't show appreciation or attention. Say you're going out and don't tell her where. Eat meals without her. OH AND GET A SEX ROBOT OR FLESHLIGHT AND SAY YOUD RATHER FUCK AN INANIMATE OBJECT THAN HER! 😂😂
This all sounds like, “if she’s going to eventually enact manipulative tactics, then, I’ll manipulate her first.” I gotta be honest: telling her No so you can keep an upper hand isn’t a healthy relationship either.
This past summer, I went to the Philippines to meet the woman I'd been talking to online for a year. While there, I took her on a trip to Cebu, where I got confused about the hotel, and we drove an hour across the city to get to the wrong place, and then drive an hour back to get to the right one. I felt so stupid the whole time, and (now) my fiance was so quiet. I hadn't learned yet that this meant she was hungry, not that she was angry. All I could hear was the stink my ex-wife would have made over this mistake, and in my head, all I could do was beat myself up. The relationship was ruined, she was just tolerating me at this point, all of the bad. We get into the correct hotel, and the moment the doorman leaves the room, she begins pulling my clothes off. You can figure out where it went from there. During it, I couldn't believe this was happening. Afterwards, my confidence was through the roof. Having her initiate sex in that moment completely shifted EVERYTHING, and turned that time of embarassment and humiliation into one of the best experiences of my life. Women, you all have this ability. Is your husband seeming distant? Does he seem down? You can initiate sex with him and make him feel like a millionaire. It is actually quite easy.
You are so right!!!! Good sex -- scheduled or surprised - is life changing for us guys -- thankfully both of my wives knew that. I worry for my sons though, I pray their wives understand the truth you share and in this video!
Amen! I know exactly what you are talking about. Also, men are told their whole life to be respectful, non aggressive, slow etc. Having a female lightly seduce you is intoxicating. When married, I believe women forget about the power of seduction. All men want is that green light. Sadly, after marriage the light stays red.
I was shocked how Esther Pearl? Said in an interview, "Women go out of their way, spend so much time, effort, money and energy to find and get the exact perfect gift for their man..... when all she had to do was spend 5 minutes in bed and he would have been 10 times happier!!!"
We are such simple creatures. Get sex right and everything falls into place. If not, the guy is a jerk. Period. The ROI with respect to time invested is amazing: 1 hour of sex is easily a week or more of elation!
My wife recently passed away, she had gotten really sick back in 2015, and our sex stopped. So for eight years I took care of her not even thinking about it, sex was something in the past for me. It was more important to have her here for then not.
In your case, I cannot agree with you more. When my wife fell ill, I did/felt the very same way. But after months of recovery and now healthy again, I have that uncontrollable urge to be "more" intimate with her than just taking care of her and the household chores, but she always has and continues to curb my advances with, I'm tired, it's too late, it's too early, I'm not in the mood or some other excuse that never seem to end.
You are 100% correct, Melanie! I’m happy you see this, along with Karyn, and I hope you both continue to proclaim this fact for a long time to come. Thanks to BOTH of you! We men LOVE you! ❤
Love has been almost completely removed from sex in our current society and I meet more and more people, women and men, who truly believe the best sex you can have is hookups, ONS, etc.. I feel sad for these people, and I see no happy, fulfilling, healthy relationship in their future.
A woman dismissing men who do not instantly turn her on, is the equivalent of a man choosing only hot women who will #### him on the first day. The difference is that the woman is solidifying HERSELF into a ridiculous fantasy mindset of what she is capable of feeling desire for, while a man can always quite easily stop being a slut and choose better women because it's not about his desire, just his patience.
Men don't give a shit about love. We want respect, praise, sex, food, peace, and loyalty, but love doesn't concern men. Love is for Disney fairy-tales and women's romance novels.
@ViaConDias Because that's true, even in a marriage that still has a couple engaging in intimacy it will never be as good as those hookups, ONS, etc., The reason is the love can not replace the excitement, the adrenaline rush you get from those other encounters, the best you can hope for is to keep your love life with your partner from getting stale and boring. That is the main reason why sex stops happening, it becomes boring and stale...and that can be blamed on both parties.
This is all spot on and I've been through it as a man and it's absolutely soul draining to deal with. If a woman wants to be treated badly and that gives them an adrenaline rush, then they have severe trauma that needs to be dealt with before a relationship.
@spencerlarson9357 Sadly, your generation is screwed with the "ideas" that are pushed socially. The only thing I can tell you is love who you find but never be in love to the point you're afraid to walk away.
I have been married for 30+ years. When we first got married, my wife did not understand how important it was. Now she understands and we are quite regular. And it is better than ever. Sex improves intimacy and that is why it should only be for marriage. It is a bond that should only be between married couples. Having several sexual partners before marriage decreases one's ability to bond with their spouse. God had this whole thing figured out. Who knew? :)
Medical research has produced some amazing findings regarding the relationship between sex and brain physiology, reinforcing what some of us already thought. "The two shall become one flesh" is no fairy tale or mumbo-jumbo, it is real and, for me, goes a long way to explain the terrible damage it does when such biblical notions are rejected (surprise, surprise). And no, I don't need to hear from the haters.
The one thing that stands out about her (Karyn) in her videos is that she’s very remorseful of her past treatment of her husband, and in doing so she shows her vulnerable side. It shows how far she’s come and how open she’s being.
I particularly liked your analogy..... the husband gets put in the friend zone, so true. A healthy sex life is #1 for most men. This analysis is spot on in so many ways
I applaud this woman for highlighting that men are different and we have different needs that we're no longer going to feel shame for! My sandwich is that men need sex like a woman needs a sense of security.
Don't be fooled. Women need and desire sex too. And there are women who's men don't give it to them too. The issue with a lot of men is. They're chasing a particular type of women. The same type of women whom are chasing Chad and Tyrone. Fellas? Those aren't the only type of female on the planet. And why lecture a woman who's going to do what she wants? That's wasted energy and time that you can find a quality woman who's going to provide on many levels.
When I was Married, she would use it as a obedience tool. Told her if she does not step up to the plate, I will find a designated hitter to take her place. She laughed and then cried later on when she found out I found a replacement in the bedroom. She got mad even after I told her up front my intentions.
Men say this alot and women believe them. It is a clear sign why a lot of women have trust issues. Marriage like dating means sex to men and that's all.
Not that I agree with infidelity, but I can't deny why you did. I believe the only reason why I haven't done so is that I know how it feels to be cheated on and the guilt I saw in her. I never want to feel that way
So from what I have read is that women are attracted to competence in men. This is often perceived via the confidence exuded by the man. This is why young women are often tricked by psychopathes into being with them, as the psychopathe has mastered the element of pretending to be confident in all situations. What happens in marriage? The woman gets to see behind the curtain. Men are not confident in all situations, not by a long shot. Men have their own insecurities and struggles, and this curbs that innate attraction. Sex is not just for pleasure, it's not just for procreation, it's a key mechanism of bonding and intimacy between a couple. You want a stronger bond with your spouse? It shouldn't be a job, it's literally something you should want. A strong bond with another human being. All aspects of intimacy are meant for that purpose.
The fact that we even need to have this conversation after 300,000 years of human civilization is incredibly eye opening as to just how broken our society has become. And people wonder why all these young fellas out here are giving up? They have been told "the world doesn't owe you anything" since grade school. But flip the script to young girls and they are told "you deserve the world" are you really going to be surprised when one of them decides to shirk society?
It's only been 60 years since reliable birth control in the hands of women has been available, so to imply that 300K years of human life was the norm is wildly wrong.
Other than those two things it is nothing but one obligation after another for him. Wouldn’t you think she would look at the benefits she receives that clearly outweigh anything she has to give and willingly provide sex when he needs it?
@@GBU61 Worst damage caused by feminism is devaluing the traditional roles of both men and women. Now relationships are only left with expectations and rights of women.
@@dugnice that's not extreme, there isn't anything else to solidify a marriage. That's the truth, the marriage isn't a MARRIAGE WITHOUT BECOMING ONE, meaning if you are not having consistent, and enjoyable sex, than you have no marriage. The enjoyable part is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
Been married 23 years and the last 5 years have like living with a roommate. When I initiate any type of intimacy, she shuts it down and I'm accused of being a sex addict. In my mind I've already checked out and just doing things to make me happy.
Find yourself a young partner that like sex. Life is to short. And she may not even mind since she doesn't have the drive. I would tell her I'm looking to see what type of reaction she gives you.
During a rough patch in our marriage and Putting up those walls caused my husband to step out . When i had found out he had already stopped the affair and we were on good terms so i honestly gave him a second chance we've been together for 18yrs and that was the first mistake he has made i already found forgiveness in my heart because i will be honest i really did push him and watching this video confirms my contribution. I haven’t told him i forgave him as yet because it have days where the betrayal ir real and i breakdown and cry. I wish i did see this video when we were in a rough patch it would of saved this pain now.
Your refusal to have sex with your husband is as much a betrayal as his "stepping out". Please realise that. He would have been giving you "second chances" multiple times before he ever had to "step out", so get off your high horse, accept and admit your responsibility in this, humbly apologise to him and make it up to him.
Baaaaaaahhhhhhaaaaaaaa! No. Her stepping out would have been as much a betrayal as his stepping out. Don't place the same severity on refusing intimacy as committing adultery. A secure woman is an affectionate & confident woman. A man who cheats, basically says to his wife, "you don't measure up". Why, if respect is so important, would men want to show his woman he is definitely not worthy of it? Because I don't know any situation where respect is found by dishonesty, disloyalty, and dishonor. Men don't keep friendships with other men where that happens, why would a woman open herself to a man willing to wound her heart?
Wow, this is EXACTLY what I am experiencing right now. She never initiated sex after we got married. Nowadays, she would go to sleep every time I hint at wanting sex after I take a shower. Once I get out of the shower she's already sleeping. I cook her breakfast before she leaves for work. I kiss her every morning and before we go to sleep at night. Right now she'd rather browse twitter as soon as she wakes up, during meals and before bed. I know she's a hard working woman and that is why I treat her like a queen. Thank you for this video. I really needed to watch a video regarding this topic. I am gonna sub. Hi and happy new year to everyone and to you, Melanie!
You need to have a tough conversation with your wife. I was in a similar situation, then couldn't bear it anymore and told her that I was deeply unhappy. Which in brackets meant that I am considerin changing my whole life situation. After that, sex frequency increased drastically. I live in Europe and divorce is not as financially devastating for men as in the US it seems.
I dont understand something, you treat her like a queen because she is hard working?? She would rather look at crap on the phone than want to make love to you, and then decieves you with lies about sleeping.. but you continue to kiss her morning and night because she works hard and gives her energy for her job and not you, but she is your queen for this?
Fam you have a big problem…you’re too nice and it has become your own worst enemy smh start by putting your foot down and telling her how you really feel and what you like or don’t like…start there
Karen is the best teacher for women I’ve ever heard… she’s single-handedly redefining and redeeming the term “Karen” and shes saving lives and doing God’s work.🙏🏾
Absolutely correct Melanie. This is exactly how my ex-wife was. Then when I was dating again I easily saw this pattern. The sad thing is, from my perspective, it doesn't always have to be sex. Good grief, would it kill her to show some eponthy, give him a tender touch and some comfort? No, can't do that, your a man, suck it up. I have not discovered a woman worth my effort and that's why I have been completely single for the past 20 years.
Just like everything in life; sex means something different based on the individual. Yes us men biologically crave sex... but that's just the surface. The question to ask yourself is "what is the difference between sex and masturbation?". For myself, sex is an expression of love between two people. It's very vulnerable, and one of the deepest forms of connection. It's the unspoken act of loving and trusting someone so deeply that you're willing to have a child togeather. A desire to be so connected that you create new life made from the two individuals into one entity. Refusing sex in my opinion, would be like denying love. A person can only be rejected so many times before feeling that it's not necessarily the act itself that is being denied, but instead the person.
Wow, I went through this with my ex-wife. It felt horrible. I went through that for 7 yrs, and I learned from that experience. Fast forward, I never looked back.
After being married for at least 10 years, most guys learn to live with out it. Women weaponize affection to use against men, so we just adapt and learn to live without it.
Oh yeah. This is one of the things that RUINED my marriage. My ex wife and I were boyfriend and girlfriend for three years before we got married and we were like rabbits. We had sex almost every day. That all CHANGED AFTER we got married. Like this video said: we were like roommates after I became her husband. I'm not lying: a couple years after we got married, we use to have sex maybe twice a YEAR.😮😮 I had no idea what was going on. I use to ask her, what was going on? Are you still attracted to me or what? She use to turn around and blame on me saying I wasn't attracted to her anymore. That was a lie. She never gave me a straight answer so of course, since me and my wife had no sexual relationship, I started sleeping with other women. So since I wasn't getting my needs met at home, I didn't care wether my wife and I had sex or not. Ladies: if you're married and your doing this to your husband. Withholding sex from him, and he's acting like it doesn't bother him anymore... he's moved on and found a side chick. My Motto is...if Taco Bell is closed, there's ALWAYS a 24 Hr Jack n Box.
I wouldn’t stay for an arrogant wife that thinks its fine to withhold sex. Forget the side chicks, just divorce that undeserving pile of a wife. Flip the monopoly board upside down and let all the garbage fall on the floor
As mentioned by another, what I require of my wife is respect, peace, sex. This gives me the drive to go out into the world and fight for my families needs. If your wife doesn't respect you, is highly argumentative, and there is no sex, what does that tell you about what she thinks of you. If he isn't getting these don't be surprised if he looks elsewhere for it.
Thank you for enlightening me about this issue. It has opened my mind to how selfish I have been and how I have misunderstood men. I listen to what society says about men and then blindly believe it but, what was said in this video makes more sense to me. I will be listening to more of the good wife school videos and incorporating them into my life. I can feel a shift has happened in me and right now I feel a mixture of emotions because my eyes have been opened. Thank you for posting this video. Truly appreciative. ❤️
Im amazed at both of these Women's perspectives as females; Truly they both have been touched by God's hand for Wisdom , Knowledge & Understanding.😇 You both show the importance of a Godly wife's Spiritual mindset. Wow------im A.M.A.Z.E.D. Many many Blessings to you both.
"Women friendzone their husbands"
That is the best description I've ever heard of it. That is exactly what happens
It’s so difficult to find a woman who loves you for who you are, and not what you can provide.
I agree a very clear description of how some women treat their husband's.
@@brazidas58 correction: how MOST WOMEN TREAT THEIR HUSBANDS THE MAJORITY OF WOMEN TREAT THIER HUSBANDS THIS WAY
That's the exact same thing that occurs to men who are "friends" with women. They are doing the same shit as if they were husbands, just without sex.
Ex-wives friendzone their husbands. Not being rude or anything here, but it's a fact.
Coming from a man it’s Not Sex… It’s Intimacy that we want in our top 3. Intimacy incorporates Sex, affection, love, and honor. Respect I think is #1. We want our women to be Supportive, content, committed and trustworthy of our relationship/ willing to protect our relationship at all cost. I think Intimacy is #2. #3 is to be peaceful… Men don’t want nagging women or women crying or screaming about every little thing. Just speak normally and work with us on problems, not against us.
Perfectly stated
NAILED IT! Great take on it, Sir!
Well said. Respect, intimacy and peace are the top 3 every man on earth really needs from his beloved partner.
men need to be respected and honoured. men to be given sex intimacy and romance. men need to feel their woman want them and not to feel low. men dont like sarcasm hurt words etc.
A woman that is respectful, intimate and peaceful will desire sex with her husband..
I’m amazed how women fail miserably to realize, that without the intimacy and sex, the marriage becomes just a friendship.
🎯
In my case, it's my fiance who doesn't realise that. He says that just because we don't have sex and affection doesn't mean he doesn't love me.
Exactly and this is the order sex then intimacy.
for men especially men a little bit older let's say 35 or better it's not the sex that We crave and need and desire it's the intimacy.
we don't get the intimacy without the sex if the two could be separated that would be fine.
I remember us doing tantric sex
About energy flow and very gentle touching and just being sensual together for a very long time it would lead into sex at the end but it was very intimate and even if it didn't lead to sex it still would have been fine
@@emj6724 LOl, speak for yourself. I am 36 and I want sex more if anything...
Some women just want a provider (benefactor) and don't care that they are just friends. Ironically, the bad boys they want aren't stable husband material. They don't realize that they can't have it all.
Men! Repeat after me: “I make no apologies for my needs as a man”
Naw dawg Not falling for
*MGTOW (Andrew Tateism)*
40 States in US on *Divorces*
Wonder about the other
*14-16 States* Says on Marriage.And Enforced Marriage.
_____________
Do better 'Murica'Cuz Rest of The World is Laughing at - *You*
Women repeat after me: "I make no apologies for my needs as a WOman."
@@BrookeLyn39 And a good man won't dispute that. A good relationship is a two-way street out of love and concern for each other. The point of this video is to highlight that emotionally checking out in a marriage by withholding physical intimacy is a bad thing. Can men do it to women? Sure. Is it still a problem if the wife does it to her husband. Yes. If the husband is doing something to cause emotional withdrawal, then the wife owes it to herself and her husband to address the problem instead of relying on mind reading (men hate the mind reading game). If she has tried address the problem to no avail, then couples therapy needs to happen and with a therapist that isn't biased against men.
Okay. Sounds good.
The pattern I see is the wife feeling as if she's working too much, in and out the household or the case of infidelity on the part of the husband.
The wife shuts down sexually.
To her the marriage has been violated.
Now the man validates the infidelity crying that he's not being satisfied.
Counseling?
Have you ever owned a brand new white suit?
Someone drags it in the mud.
You will never get it clean again.
The damage has been done and you're delaying the inevitable.
@@BrookeLyn39 Hey Brook, it doesn't sound to me like you really think what I wrote is good. My perspective is balanced, non-sexist, and seeks solutions. I think yours is the exact opposite.
In my life, I've met two kinds of people. The first kind is a defeatist mindset. The defeatist only sees problems with no solutions. The defeatist has already given up because "that's not gonna work." The defeatist looks for the easy way out and the path of least resistance.
The opportunist is a person who recognizes problems and looks for solutions. The opportunist does not commit the fallacy of the perfect solution.
The opportunist sees faults in themselves, not just in other people, and sees this as an opportunity to grow even if things don't go according to plan.
I choose to be an opportunist.
Sex is what makes us feel close, and a vast majority of us men "do things" to show we care. From car maintenance, home, and upkeep, along with working hard to provide. Sex is one action that makes us feel like we matter, and loved.
And hoes are taking advantage of being cared for and not having sex.
Sex is a Gift from GOD for married couples
Intimacy is paramount to a woman. Intimacy usually culminates in sex. Men often translate the word sex to mean orgasm. If a man takes the time to give a woman the intimacy she truly Needs to be healthy, then he also gets the orgasm he thinks is his due. A win/win. Without intimacy, without foreplay, loving playful interaction, then he’s just another job. He gets what he wants, she just gets screwed.
@@user-xd1ru1no7e so it's not a gift from God for unmarried, or dating, or engaged couples?
@@user-xd1ru1no7e so true
What is Worse than no sex is: Mercy sex. As a man, I will never ever do it, it is demeaning & humiliation.
So true.
If my wife doesn't want to have sex with me. I'd rather not. And manage it my self.
@@TheLegend-uq1gz Mercy sex. Good description but degradation is what it feels like.
@@TheLegend-uq1gz I feel you on that one.
yeah man
Totalky agree. Part of the fullfilment of sex is seeing her being pleased by what your doing. I lovevit when my wife grabs me real hard and moans in extasy. Its really the best part.
Another thing that kills intimacy in a marriage is when the wife is constantly fault-finding in her husband. It wipes out her attraction for him.
If she is doing that, it is already over. She is just adding up the reasons to justify it in her head.
Her attraction? No man wants to f a nagging b.
Or maybe listen and try to improve
@@stacyshoemaker9177 when one of those faults is that my "laugh is really irritating" it shows she's just complaining. Everyone has faults and shortcomings. Unless a flaw happens to be detrimental to health and well being of your spouse there is no need to ever bring it up. I know I'm not perfect so I don't bring up my wife's faults. She's needs to return the favor. Fault-finding is a mindset that extends to more than just the marriage. Wives shouldn't try to change their husbands and husbands their wives.
@@geography_guy335 Yeah, that marriage is over. It’s been over. She can’t leave, she needs you to but you’re just too lazy.
It's too early, it's too late, I'm too tired, I'm too busy is just a partial list of excuses for every day of the week. Nothing for weeks or months at a time has been HER normal from the wedding night on. The best line I have ever heard from a counselor was, "most women spend far more time making excuses than they ever spend making an effort".
Some husbands are actually like this too….
Its bldy lonely
So right 👍
Yes l agree 100% excuses after excuses. The other reply, yes it can be the man too.
@@FlyMIfYouGotM Is she a housewife?
Man up. Then there will be more time and energy to put into you.
The best line I have ever heard from a counselor was, "most women spend far more time making excuses than they ever spend making an effort". /\ Fact!
It's not #1 but it's very important. If we're not having sex we may as well be roommates. And yes I understand that women are not always in the mood, life happens etc. But as a husband, you can't just neglect your parts of the marriage because you're "not in the mood." Nobody would find that acceptable.
"I didn't go to work this week and will not be paying rent this month because Id just rather not."
I'm not fixing the brakes on the car because I don't like that it's too hot outside.
It's your birthday, so I guess I have to buy you an expensive present. But if I can get away with not doing it, yay.
We're married now, so I don't have to do any of the chores if I am not in the mood. You understand, right?
Bingo
Yes as sex is part of what makes a relationship if women are saying no that's not true their relationship will fail and all the guys they dated would be treated as friends or being used. Like you can't just date someone and not expect anything to happen. As again at that point just be friends with benefits.
Exactly, when she signed that marriage certificate she agreed that it was no longer just her pussy but it’s now OUR pussy lol
As a father and husband, here are the five things I need/want from my wife:
1. RESPECT
2. PRAISE & PEACE
3. SEX
4. STOMACH FULL
5. LOYALTY
That's it. As a husband, it's my responsibility to love my wife, Date her, provide, protect , and lead her.
I'm not married myself yet but I can definitely agree. ✊✌
You would cede loyalty if it meant you got s3x?
what should a wife do if it's the husband that is withholding intimacy sex ?
@neneosei7168 Check to make sure she's fulfilling the priorities that come before s3x. This is why s3x is not number 1 priority. If she is fulfilling the other priorities that come before s3x, then she should sit down and talk with him, without erupting into anger if she hears something you dislike. Don't use the man's words against him so that he can feel safe opening up to you.
Aunt Jenny. Empty his nuts and fill his stomach 😂
It’s especially hard for a husband who has no other vices or addictions like smoking, doing drugs, or drinking alcohol. Sex is the only dopamine dump that I get. So I have nothing to dissipate my stress. I just internalize it and it has been turning into anger and aggression. It’s literally how I believe grumpy old men are created.
Maybe that is your problem, viewing sex as a drug! What about showing love amd gentleness to your wife instead of expecting and demanding something of her?
@@NarnianLadygo away, noone wants you here
@@NarnianLady Are you kidding? Are you denying that men have physical needs within a marriage? Are you saying that a man's needs are not important? Most men are all about showing love and gentleness, and I will go so far to say that most women don't have the slightest concept of what real love is nor do they know how to show it. Women are selfish and are only concerned for what they need from the man, and the vast majority of men are hyper-romantic to a fault, always bending to the desires of the wife and are always sacrificing their own happiness in deference to the needs of the woman. Women aren't romantic in the least. They only expect and demand romance from the man, and if he can't live up to her expectations in that regard, she throws him out like a piece of trash. 75-80% of divorces are initiated by women, and that number increases to over 95% for college educated women. That is a proven statistic. backed up by governmental data. Another proven statistic is that women divorce because of their own perceived "unhappiness" in about 70% of those divorces, wherein happiness is in reality their own responsibility and it's their own fault for being unhappy. Women are not happy people. They have no inherent ability for contentment. They always want more than a normal man can give them, and that is where hypergamy comes into play. For women, the grass is always greener under Chad's or Tyrone's feet.
@@NarnianLady Again with this nonsense. "Expecting and demanding"...yes, sex in marriage IS an expectation, and if it's not given willingly (WHICH IT SHOULD BE), then it shouldn't be surprising that a guy turns to demanding. Not that it does any good, clearly, since a wife that won't sex her husband does not love him.
The mental gymnastics women like you go through to try to justify denying the most basic and required element of a marriage is sickening. Sex is what makes marriage different from a friendship. It is literally, historically and legally in many places, grounds for annulment if denied.
Can you imagine forbidding someone to eat anywhere other than at home, then not feeding that person? So how can you expect fidelity if you don't give your husband sex at home?? So yes, sex is a rightful expectation in a marriage.
Valid point
This lady on the left is an endangered species. The government needs to protect her at all costs as we only have one left. You are incredible and have a truly real big heart in all facets of life. Hope the world treats you wonderful and with respect.
I plain forgot that I "checked out" years ago because of the infrequency. As a man, if you have to get rejected 9 out of 10 times, it damages your ego, it's depressing and then its just not worth it anymore.
The same for me.
Been at that place, ended up asking if she herself sees me as anything.. honestly don't wanna go back to that place
@@monteirogomes3646this is one of my problem Every time I feel like having sex my wife rejected me and I don't want to be unfaithful
Same
There are married women in similar predicaments. Many men like to withdraw sex as well, it's a form of control.
I had a sexless marriage where I felt denigrated & rejected - 10 times in 4 years & refused 99 times and was “humored” once in a while until I gave up, & another woman swooped in & grabbed what she had been rejected!
how is sex with the new woman?
10 times?!?!?!!!??!
can identify with you
Go get pussy men. This why married men cheat. Simply.
i dont blame you for looking back, yea it was awhile but im sure the time added up without noticing, a slow boil. yea if you want it find a woman who will get it :)
One of the best choices I’ve ever made was to not deny my husband. There are times I have to tell him “later”, but I’ve never said no. I don’t want to deny him a need, just like I don’t want him denying me a need.
Thank you, from all husbands everywhere ❤
Personal question but sincere, no answer if too uncomfortable, but do you feel the desire and initiate sex sometimes or do you wait for him or a bit of both?
If my wife felt the desire that would be so exciting for me. Not out of duty but simple pleasure. Duty would turn me off?
God bless you 🙏
But did you follow through on your statement of “later”
My wife does this for me, not only does it make me want to show her love in ways that matter most to her - her love language so to speak - it makes me go above and beyond because she does it for me even when I have a short groan/eye roll.
Love reciprocated both ways is love that grows exponentially
This hit the nail right on the head in my marriage. Sex? What's that? After 52 years of marriage, I am still very much active and interested, taking care of my own needs all the time. I receive no praise or compliments from her. Even after going out of my way to show some affection, she begins with pushing my buttons and starting an argument about some pity thing in the house. It keeps the walls up and we just co-exist in this house. I have always since day one, tell her that having sex bonds our marriage and she ignores this theory. She is just interested on one thing...our financial situation as we are preparing for retirement. I am at my wits end, trying to keep this marriage together. People praise how long we had been married. Little do they know the hardships, suffering and heart break that I had to endure. To keep my commitment and prevent me from packing up and walking out the door.
I'd leave. That's a form of rejection that affects a person in most aspects of life. Shame on her! And I'm sorry you're going through that but boy I admire you for staying. Once you guys are retired, there won't be anything left between you if she keeps this up. I'm 67, I understand. I always had the higher libido in my marriage.
You're wasting your precious time. Please learn to let go before you die of old age.
Bro that sucks that where I am kinda .
Sounds a lot like my situation. But when I have tried to talk about it with her, it falls on deaf ears.
Same here…. Only 35 years married…
My husband just will not engage, never has……
Four years into my marriage my wife said that she didnt care about sex. I think she meant that she didnt care about sex with me.
That the point, she just said it nicely
You left her, I hope.
Is she has a pulse she cares lol
Leave her. It won’t get any better
I'm so tired of people ignoring the fact that male circumcision was marketed to destroy the sexual satisfaction of men and women. Kellogg was also pushing to have females cut too. Our sex lives and ability to to connect were destroyed by design. This is not a gender war. This is the byproduct of a divide and conquer strategy to destroy the family unit by design, and for profit. They say that "sex sells," actually it a "problem solution" market system and people profit heavily on this destruction just to turn around to sell us the fake "solution" later. We've ALL been robbed for profits.
As a married woman of almost a decade. Props to those who have made it past this. I have always made myself available to my husband, even when I was mad at him. I hadn’t given it much thought, but staying actively engaged intimately has helped our relationship last.
Angry-sex is good too
That's what's up. I mean you've definitely made the sacrifice and if he has some love he'll return that to you 10x.
Do you have a sister that feels the same way? Any man will go to the ends of the earth for their woman if they put out, period! I wanted my wife during my entire marriage. The physical touch alone is phenomenal. Kissing is an absolute must!
I absolutely agree! You still have to work out the issues, but the men are less edgy and more amenable to solving the problem of the day.
We have been married 43 years, but the basic nature of a man doesn’t change. My wife also made herself available and didn’t set conditions. That’s just one aspect of unconditional love.
Earlier today, I listened to a woman closer to your own age who had keen insight on another aspect, that is living deeply. She said it’s when you see all the faults of your man, and love him anyway. That’s one more facet of unconditional love.
This past year, my wife was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, and hasn’t been able to do as much. So I needed to pick up the slack. Some days, most of my time goes into serving her best interests, especially when a long trip to see a specialist is involved.
When your spouse can’t do that much without assistance, or doing it for her, it also means living her unconditionally. So our relationship has gotten stronger when she has gotten weaker.
My wife will, what she calls it, dead fish it, and just let me handle my desires. I tell her I appreciate it multiple times and she's like be quite. I explain to her the relief, the after effects and how it just makes the day so much better.
In my last serious relationship, intimacy had dwindled to zero. It was horrible. My girlfriend had checked out. But, she was pushing for marriage. If things were bad already, getting married wasn't going to magically fix everything. I'd be trapped! No thanks.
You did the right thing. Been married 10 years. Trust me it only gets worse. Like having sex with a mannequin. They just lay there so you can do your business. What kind of BS is that. There is no benefit for a man to get married.
Good move!
It's probably why she checked out
Imagine the sex if u got married and she has checked out of the relationship sexually , dump her as she is confused of her role in the relationship 😁
@@patrick-ho5kcfor real
No sex was the reason I divorced my wife of 23 years.
The last 17 years, I stayed with her to raise our two boys, but I knew my marriage was over.
She's right... Men can absolutely feel when it's just a check the box thing for you...
Same for us women
When TF has a man ever had sex just to ‘tick the box’!?!?
I’ll wait….
@@nofybn7794 I mean… is that what the videos about? And is sex often a thing that men do just to check the box?
In my previous relationship i went over a year without sex, after a while I just kind of checked out of the relationship, stopped trying. Went to work came home, watched tv, went to bed rinse and repeat. Then my ex complained that i wasn't putting enough effort into the relationship anymore and I basically just shrugged. Then when she said it was over I didn't even care, I was just like alright, i will sleep on the couch for a couple months while I look for a place and if you don't like that option you can go get a court order to move me out of "OUR" house and then she complained that I wasn't fighting to stay together. Why would I fight to stay with a roommate who wants me to move out.
MANY men have been there, me included. Stayed for my daughter. One year, post divorce, I still can’t bring my self to date. If I want sex, I’ll rent it.
Been there done that. So much happier “alone”. No lie.
They are mad and confused. Honestly, there is something wrong in womens head. The same woman will tell another man that there is no sex in her relationship. She would complian to the man that you don’t touch me. Losing God is western society has destroyed women. My advice to men is, make
Money, marry many women, have multiple girlfriends, let them compete for you. That is the only way they are serious
I was there, I had a long honest conversation with my wife and I asked her to lay out her top 3, and I gave her my top 3 thing. Sex and intimacy was #1. We've been trying for 2 weeks (I was giving it 4 weeks of trying) and she came to me and said that she wants to fuck. So have an honest conversation first. If you feel like you're going to get into an argument go out to a coffee shop. Unless she's the type of person that will argue in front of anybody.
She wanted to move chad and tyrone in and you ruined her plans by staying
My wife of 23 years has always been really good in this area. I can’t remember a time when she’s turned me away and she actively participates. It keeps our bond strong and the two of us connected
Y'all will be married forever
Lucky bastard. Cherish her well.
You are so very lucky.
Bless her heart!
You are very lucky
If there is no sex then its a friendship, its as simple as that.
but we have female friends we have sex with too
Exactly why my marriage ended. I needed a wife, not a friend.
If there is no sex, it’s called marriage.
Yeah, and eventually you are living with a squatter because there is no more "friendship" when I am not getting what should come from a marriage.
Get out of it
After nearly 32 years with my husband I can assuredly say that a healthy sex life and mutual respect & consideration are necessary for a successful marriage. A wife who is respectful of her spouse & who openly desires him is a very, very sexy & attractive thing to a man.
Women want to be desired, but so do men! Yes, life gets busy, but making time for one another determines the longevity of your relationship.
I just want to share that you are spot on with, "openly desires him". To me, this is part of the 'communication' that men want, need. If the only time she communicates that she wants sex is when she's complaining about something, it becomes a double negative to how the man feels about sex *with her*. First, he doesn't know she wants it since she isn't openly showing that desire, and 2nd, the complaining. If the subject becomes a frustration, the man will check out of sex as well - *with her*. It may look like ED, but I assure you, it is not. It's only ED *with her*, and largely due to the lack of communication - openly desiring.
Women don't want to be desired! It is NOT RESPECTFUL!! IT GOES BOTH WAYS!! AND MEN DON'T EVER DO THEIR PART!!
You desire your husband because he treats you right. I have a great sex life with my husband but I didn't with my ex because he was too busy turning his head after other women and he was not the man he was on our dates the first few moths. If a woman doesn't want sex with her man, it's 100% his fault! These women in the video make a living out of bitter, sad men who are angry opposite sex haters just like the crazy feminists and these are their supporters to keep the chaos between men and women.
Well said and the “making time” part is crucial
Absolutely. Open desire is huge in a way that few women will ever reaalize.
This woman's channel is going to blow up. She's saying the things that need to be said, things I've not heard anywhere else
She’s got several really good videos. You can tell she’s put in the work.
I found her channel a few weeks ago. Watched a few of her vids. You can tell she’s not only put in the work but has wisdom through experience
Yes, her name is Karyn Seitz and she presents on her RUclips channel “The Happy Wife School”. Karyn has been through a lot and has come out humbled on the other side. Karyn is the best teacher for women today that I have found…and wise for Melanie to give Karyn due respect in this video...
this is her most based video yet. all of the progressives are going to cope and seethe hearing this message. but it's true since women are willing to have sex with any man attractive enough and forgo any prior rules she had exposing hypocrisy and inconsistency.
Whats sad is the number of educated women that grew up without any male figures in their lives that this one concept is ridiculous for.
Yes absolutely. Treat your man right and he will go to the ends of the earth for you.
Fuck, yes!!!!
That’s actually true
Let's see.
This point was brilliantly made by Dr. Laura Schlessinger in her book, "The Care and Feeding of Husbands."
Mannnn, I agree, but even then men will still go to the ends of the earth for a woman that doesn't deserve it
As a divorced man, I can relate to this. In the marriage I had, I remember being treated as a tool to be used to provide resources. For a woman who let herself go, wouldn't reciprocate. Not just in sex. But wouldn't even cook or clean. Basically, I was giving 100% and receiving 0%.
As a Christian, I believe that sex should be reserved for marriage. But I'm terrified of getting married again, because I know what it's like to then be locked into a relationship where your needs aren't met, yet everything is taken from you.
Well said brother, I can relate 100%. Some lessons we need to learn the hard way. Remember: other people will respect you only as much as you respect yourself. Make clear what your needs are, set the boundary, and stand up for yourself. If none of these work then you MUST walk away.
Definitly not having a go at your faith, but I have never understood why sex needed to be reserved for marriage. Absolutely don't be promiscuous, don't spread diseases, don't get girls you have no intention of being with pregnant, and all the negative connotations that are used to dmonise sex outside of wedlock. That's just about having self-respect and standards. But what's that got to do with sex outside of marriage? You should avoid being a tool regardless of whether you are married. I mean we teach 16 year olds to drive a car, in some places you can learn to fly an aeroplane at 15, we just teach them how to do it correctly, sensibly and safely, but there is no conceivable reason why they shouldn’t be able to do it.
What happened and when?
@@BrookeLyn39 she got fat, she got lazy, she refused sex, she wouldn't cook, she wouldn't clean & she expected HIM to be a traditional provider. Whores.
I swear to you all women the woman with the grey hair is a liar, she just was used by men just for sex but she was never loved by one of them but just used for sex and this is maybe everything for a man because he can take advantage of you but it’s NOT love!
This is very true. I have a girlfriend currently that’s starting to complain about sex 8 months in but wants to get married. HELL NO!!!
Must ask will you show her this sooner than later, or leave!
Time for a different gf
it is so much better to find out before you get married. It usually gets worse after marriage. Run and be free.
Run!
Don’t do it. Take some old man advice. Do you have any idea how many unhappily married men, divorced men, men paying alimony and child support who would trade places with you?
Wow, you nailed it! My wife shut it down 4 years ago and it is so painful to want someone you love and have absolutely nothing in return
Respectfully, it's been 4 yrs how do you manage?
I’m sorry your wife did this to you! ☹️. Not all women do this at all!
You’re wasting your time, cut your losses…
DTB!
@@Portia620 Thank you, that gives me hope.
This really educated me and I appreciate the commentary you added. I was raised in a home where sex before marriage was taboo and sex in general was something inappropriate to discuss or anything of the sort. Sex is not important to me at all and I think that’s due to how I was raised. I did not realize how important it is to my husband. We’ve been married 14 years and I just assumed he thought of it like I do because I never discussed it with him. I’m determined to do better. He’s a wonderful provider, husband and dad and he deserves my best. Thank you for the time you took to share this.
I commend you for allowing yourself to explore ideas and concepts that go against your current state of mind, it not only demonstrates your willingness and dedication to learn, but also how much you care for your husband.
If you do Infact enhance your sex life with your husband, I hope your relationship with him sky rockets to new heights and that both of you flourish.
Awesome to hear you are even willing to do what it takes. My wife, when she's not in the mood, will offer up "dead fish" which is just a "hey, Ill lay there for you and let you get yours". I mean....how hard can that be other than the mess afterwards but it takes care of your man. I always say a good woman never lets her man leave the house with full balls....it's a recipe for cheating. There is ALWAYS some whore out there ready to destroy your marriage...keep him happy and he's less likely to cheat plus he has your goodies on him (marked territory). Lol
That’s right! Today as Soon as he gets home and gets cleaned up it’s time to suck it!
This is a great take. And I'm not going to say "you're a great wife" for saying this. I will say you're a great partner because this sort of thinking is great from either side. It's not just a woman's place to think like this. As men we have different needs from women, it's true. But I think the idea of realizing that we do and feeling the drive to meet those needs from a place of love is a great way to look at a relationship. Thank you for sharing.
Wow, I literally am with my Fiancee who grew up the same way and had the same thoughts you do/did on the subject. Currently I am trying to explain it to her without coming off as a pig or whatever. I am doing my best to be understanding. But I told her, with marriage on the horizon for us, this issue is a fear that I am struggling with and hope that it does not cause major problems in the future. Thank you for sharing
This hurts so much I couldn't even finish watching. -56 yr old man who's been a walking dead man for the last 15 years of my 22 year marriage.
Hurt so much
And the worst aspect of this is the unavoidable realisation of the wasted life, the lost opportunities, the undeniable fact of co-responsibility.
_Get busy living, or get busy dying,_ while true, is alas just a quote from a movie. One would think that an intelligent, reasonable man could somehow have altered his fate...
Wow, I could have written that. I always think I get all of the s-t work and none of the perks of marriage. I believe sex is the glue that holds a relationship together. It’s interesting how many others are dealing with this. There are no easy answers.
Wow, I just couldn’t continue
Sex in relationships, is way more important for men than it is for women. It's nothing wrong with us, it's just how we're naturally designed.
Yha i never understand why now we can cross out sex while dating at this point it just means friendship.
No sex means no relationship
@@midragga and you say when mans can't get to bust their nut they start to worry
Yeah, but have you ever turned down a woman for sex? Ever tell a woman you're "too tired"? Women DO NOT handle it well. Why they may feel it is entirely reasonable to deny a man sex, they cannot handle a man doing the same thing. It's a window into their thought process.
And women need to thank God for it. (Otherwise....)
I was married for 40 years until my wife died at Age 64.
Sex was an integral part of our relationship that bonded us together, and made us a couple
On average, we probably had sex every day (conservatively that equates to 14, 000 times ). I do not remember ever being refused we even had sex during her periods as she always appeared to be ready to be intimate. We used to call sex when we went to bed "Horlicks" as it made us sleep contented snuggled up together.
Condolences for your loss...🙏
Condolences for your loss. Sounds like you had a great wife and you both were blessed to share that time together. Take care
That's so awesome that you got to bond so deeply with someone I'm happy you had a beautiful experience.
My ex complained we had sex 43 nights in a row. I thought, “your counting?”
@@dangersmymiddlename6341 In my 20 years of marriage I don't think we've ever had sex more than 3 nights in a row.
The three most common phrases I hear justifying freezing men out:
"Your wife is NOT your property."
"You don't own your spouse"
"You don't owe your partner sex."
All of that undermines the very notion of commitment and an exclusive relationship.
I am not your sponsor.
I am not your bodyguard.
I am not your handyman.
😂
@@Austenfan177 Absolutely right. There is no substitute for genuine attraction and admiration.
men are already abstaining from all of those. some men are still simps so they will have to learn the hard way. @@doncorleone2713
Great response!@@doncorleone2713
I guess I just got lucky.... My wife wants to get this chocolate bar every night and we're married and been together 21yrs since high school 😂 I'm blessed. I will say that you must be genuine. Like we really are best friends and enjoy each others company. I hope every one can find that person that they share a kindred spirit with.
I'm glad you have found a good woman. There aren't as many of them around that won't cheat in some way or another. Whether it be an emotional or physical affair. I'm happy for you, man.
You are so blessed! I am not. I got a man who doesn’t want sex. 20 years of being neglected. I am so depressed.
You are indeed blessed. As a.couple please share how you do it
As someone once said, "Women were created to give the act MEANING, Men were created to get the act DONE".
never heard that but I like it!
Mind blown get this man an award
So basically, humans were created for sex? Wow.😂
Wow. My man.
WHO SAID THAT? THAT IS AWFUL!! SO WOMEN DON'T GET ANYTHING? WOW!! NO THANKS!!
1. Peace
2. Respect
3. Sex
4. Loyalty
5. Stomach Full
Modern USA women:
6 figures
6+ foot tall
Bad boy player
Famous online
Expensive stuff
100%
Hard to put them in numbered order but those are the main things.
For long term marriage Loyalty and Honesty and Respect are all critical.
They don't hear you fam.. Today's women are agents of chaos.. No matter how good you are to them, provide for them, help them succeed.. It's still not enuf and they will cause disharmony in the relationship.. 90% of women are dysfunctional, and can't control their own biological emotional rollercoaster!!.. It will be your fault that yall are arguing.. 10% of women are incontrol of their feelings and emotions and make good loving wives.. However they are needles in the haystack and very hard to find.. Proverbs 31 says, "A virtuous woman, who can find one?"
without respect, the rest go. Respect begets every other quality.
Been married twice....first wife after 5 years of marriage started the "I don't really need sex" B.S. and it finally ended our marriage. The second wife loves sex more than I do....top that guys and after 30 years it hasn't changed. I guess I got lucky!
Wise choice! Woman with no desire for sex is a total joke.
Did your first wife get remarried? What happened with her.
@@LamontCrews-ul7efwho cares!!!! lol…thats the whole point of getting rid of her 30yrs ago
You are very lucky! I have man who doesn’t want sex. I am so depressed.
@@VanessaSimon26Same!
Married 30 years. I see that I married a unicorn. We waited until marriage (Christian) and she has been giving, enthusiastic, and always willing to discuss my needs. She still initiates more than me.
And... I am lower income and disabled now.
In truth, she's overweight and nobody would look at her twice, but I've never seen anyone sexier or desired anyone more.
As Christians, my wife and both I saved sex for marriage. Once married and we began having sex I was shocked at how it suddenly became so important to me. We had a great dating relationship with no sex, but to have a good marriage it had to be there for me. My wife struggled to understand why it was suddenly so important to me but we got past that and have a fantastic time with it now. Now it's important to her as well and life is great.
same scenario but my wife has no desire for anything physical
Are your wives on birth control? Are they working full-time? My husband and I noticed a huge change in bedroom behavior after I quit birth control and became a stay-at-home wife (soon to be mother). The hormones in those drugs really do mess with us biologically so maybe give that a try?
And honestly if she's working full-time, she might not see physical intimacy as her duty anymore because she's working just as hard as you are. No offense, but if you aren't providing, the woman won't "provide" either. Hopefully that helps and you can have more fun in your relationship.
It's so rare to find a women who saves herself for marriage - most are whores.
theres nothing in the bible which says "no sex before marriage", its just a prude mentality.. also if you get all the way to be wed without once doing anything in sex, shes not into you enough to have a relationship..
@@calvinsFuntimeBounceHouse Sorry if this is showing up multiple times, something weird seems to happen when I try to post this:
You are incorrect about what the Bible says. Fornication is sex between people who are not married and the Bible is very clearly against it. See 1 Cor6:9-10 as one of many examples condemning fornication in no uncertain terms.
If the abstinence is about commitment to God it is a good thing. There are plenty of Christian men and women with perfectly healthy sex drives who deeply love and desire each other who are committed to saving sex for after the wedding. My wife and I have been married nearly 35 years now, we have only been with each other and it creates a oneness and bond that can't be put into words. I don't think anybody goes around wishing their spouse slept around more before they got married.
My ex-wife "friend zoned" me. Her "man" is her corporate job. She gives her job her ABSOLUTE best. She gives our children her ABSOLUTE best. I got the leftovers for years. I couldn't take it any more. To this day, she still believes she is the victim. I don't even share how I was feeling because she'll look at me like "be serious".
Holy shit that’s fucked up. Dude sorry
What do you mean, you couldn't take it anymore? Did you leave? Because you should have. People will say well, what about the children...
Well, she hurt the children, it's her fault for abandoning her husband. I hate to say it but many times, women have Outlets that you don't know about. Sounds like she may be the main provider, yes? If so, it still does not matter, she has a duty to her husband.!
Don’t worry fellas, a non sexual wife can’t cut you off when she doesn’t know where you are getting your intimacy…
idk, if she was giving my children her Absolute best, I would be satisfied. Because ultimately, that's the main point of marriage. Divorce is going to scar your children, no matter who is at fault or no matter how old they are.
I have a very similar experience. Husbands are just being taken for granted. We may as well be robot-servants, with no need beyond basic food + sleep. Yet, we must come through at every turn whenever she has a need (a quite regular occurrence), lest she flies off the handle out of pure entitlement. Very little sense of duty towards her husband in the day-to-day life (job gets plenty, though). At least, she mostly does right by our son.
I think hugs are way underrated. Most good decent men don't even get that from their wives, let alone sex. But if a woman won't give you sex at least show him you appreciate him and give him a hug.
wtf you talking about? dude wake tf up! hugs? go get a dog if you want hugs. If you're breaking your back and becoming a slav3 for a woman you should get way more than a fk hug. white boys i swear.
The day my ex refused to let me give her a kiss was the day I knew our relationship was over.
@@AlexMinorI sure can identify with that, my friend. It was a very cruel gesture (of many and much gaslighting from her through 25 plus years of marriage) of being refused a kiss. No warmth. She killed our intimacy, our marriage just because she could.
Hugs are all my wife wants. Problem is even touching my wife turns me on. Because why marry a girl if sex is off the table? "Why does everything always have to lead to sex??" she asks.
And to her I ask this "why did you practically grape me on our second date when you didn't even know me?" 🤷♂️
My husband has a very high sex drive but I am more than happy to meet his needs and give him release. But I'm a Christian and that's what I am here for...as his helper and helpmeet. It's how my Mom treated my Dad and my sister's treat their husband's. It's important to stay thin and always look attractive for him because of all the temptations at the workplace. My husband has a secretary and two office assistants and all three dress to the nines every day in heels and full makeup etc. There's lots of competition out there so make sure he's happy at home or you might get left in the dust.
Hi, I'm sure your husband would give all for you. I'm glad for you two.
Greetings in Christ, from Spain!
So have sex even if ur not horny and does he neet ur needs?
I couldn't agree more. Thanks.
@@lexianndearden3422 that's werid ong
@@lexianndearden3422 God bless you. Your husband is very blessed.
Definitely in the top three. If you plan on withholding sex in a marriage, it is a recipe for infidelity & DISASTER. It shows a degree of cruelty that goes beyond words. Great video, Mel!
Even more disgusting, some women "get off" on the idea they are withholding sex and frustrating their partner.
@@Lenny_Hondo That is the part that is very wild.... But then they act like the victim when their man decides to cheat on them.
Betrayal and deception come to my mind.
It's #1 because it's the only thing a heterosexual man can't get himself or from another man.
A heterosexual man can share a home and finances with another man, but he can't get WAP from another man.
@@Lenny_Hondo
Because for many women it's the only influence/power they have in their relationships.
I just want to preface this by saying I do not condone cheating in a relationship…with that said, many times a man will cheat on his wife specifically because she’s not wanting to have sex with her husband. So then he feels neglected. Society preaches everything to make women happy; completely forgetting that a successful marriage involves both partners being loved, appreciated, and seen.
In the USA, marriage is now being promoted as a man doing everything possible to keep a wife ‘happy’ while she has no obligations to reciprocate in any way. Only HER happiness matters.
Happy houses...have happy spouses.
This leads to the saying happy wife, happy life. That is bs because it infers that the husband does not have to be happy.
@@S.M.214 until maybe 50 years ago, few cared if wives were happy. Now literally no one cares if husbands are happy.
@@RonHarrisMuscle Which is stupid, because if anything, it should be the complete opposite. Women should be doing everything to make their man happy. We go through way more crap and stress in life than women do. The least they could do is get our rocks off and belly full.
I was made to feel subhuman, sinful to expect sexual intimacy, with my wife. Ex wife, I left her, no regrets, only should have done it sooner, and forgiven her sooner, not borne a grudge for so long. It is above cruelty to neglect your husband, call it as it is, abuse! 😢
Glad your free. Brother it’s tough to take that step and you made the right call. Well done
I'm down with everything you said except the forgiveness. How many years did you toil as her workhorse? How many resources did she extract from you during that time? Then: Half of everything you built? Child support? Alimony? No, there will be no forgiveness.
@@gatodemierda forgiveness is key, she doesn't deserve it, but for my sake only. You only torture yourself by the grudge you hold against them. Only when i did that could i heal and move on, took me ten years to forgive her though!
This is me right now. I’ve been caught twice “talking” to other women over our 20 year sexless marriage. I was raked over the coals both times. I did not have sex with either of them. But I’m the bad guy, right? I’ve just decided to give up and be miserable. At least until our daughter is grown. Then, I’ll have more leverage to give her an ultimatum.
@@jayknock1441 I hear you brother. Make sure you to talk to like minded men, to ease the pain.
Nearly cried while watching the video - about 10 times of intimacy/sex per year for 4 year, that I have thought that it is because of me, being not good enough, not fit enough, not caring enough... So I worked extra hard on being a good husband and father, and on myself. Every day after work, would just be with the family. But hearing you talking about the desire of women is not having a stable life, things started to make sense to me. We fundamentally want different things, I want happy stable life and happy marriage, and she does not.
It is great to hear the perspective from another woman. Thank you.
Lucky you. It averages out to be once every 3 months for me
@@darrellanderson7934once per year or less
After 38 yrs of that! Divorced. Moved on! It hurt but the bull shit blue pill is now red!
@@True_SD You are so ungrateful. Me only twice so far this year and we are already in August.
@@darrellanderson7934You crazy
Agreed. I love the friend zone comment. She raises a valid point about why men aren’t marrying. If I had a nickel for every man I knew who said he had more and better sex after he got married, I’d have exactly zero nickels.
i have had more and better sex after i got married.... with other women that is...
I can give you a nickel .
Your observation is true. But the issue here is also the men who are marrying these emotionally stunted selfish women in the first place.
That’s not true I was married and we had amazing sex and that’s why he didn’t wanna leave. He was still after me then that’s the only thing we had was amazing!!!! Now I have nothing. 😂🤦♀️
@@royfowkesI know right!!!
As this woman clearly stated, women know damn well what they are doing. They just don't care because you are the guy they settled for. Know this gentlemen. Make your exit as best you can.
I stay single, I'm hip to the game. I'm not giving anyone a DIME or a minute of my time. If I want a wife I'll go to the Philippines. Those women are real women.
@@Ed-xv4sy, be careful! - They may appear to be "real", but they can also use you as a westerner to get a "free ticket" to a green card, then dump you shortly after! I know, as I saw a friend experience this some years back. Woman can be/or are very manipulative and selfish! They will use anyone to get what they want, and they'll use sex to get it!
agreed but know this; you and I will piss off most of the idiots who think this feminist system is worth keeping because wanting to stay single is simply heresy to them. we need a damn counter crusade against feminism/social progressivism IMHO. @@Ed-xv4sy
@@Ed-xv4sy And then stay there - because a Philippina needs just two years in a country where women have rights, and she wants them, too. Naturally!
No, they don't care because they know the court system, Government and society is completely rigged in their favor so the man has no options, no counter balance. Once the sucker signs the marriage license, he's a slave to the state, the woman wields this power as a weapon and the man becomes husk of a man and typically broken.
Great show Melanie. Im living this sexless marriage and can say I have been miserable. Time for a change, thks for covering this
And they wonder why men cheat....
Do you go elsewhere for sex? Have you considered having an affair?
Cheat. Fly out
I would like to get married one day but hearing stories like this ...make me really fearful of it ....While at the same time not a hump , pump and dump type of guy ...!!!
"Women are always looking for something more" --ABSOLUTELY nailed it!
More money?
And when you tell them "no", thats when the woman is ready to leave.
@@Todd_SwankIf a woman ever deny me sex for no reason she will be immediately replaced.
What people fail to mention is that a man who is taking care of business, doing for his woman but starts to see consistent rejection will in time not only lose attraction but will also resent that women.
Fellas if you are in a relationship and she starts withholding sex. Get rid of her immediately. Do not Tolerate a Dead Bedroom.
Did you listen to the video? she said the sex dried up AFTER marriage. They know what they're doing. The good sex is for chad, when travelling, girls night etc. Marriage to them is RETIREMENT, it is a period where you do everything and break your back like slav3
exactly
Make it known from the start. Be clear.
"If you even try to play games with withholding, I'll dissolve this relationship so fast it'll make your head spin."
And be prepared to follow through.
How about not having s*x until getting married? Date for an appropriate amount of time to really get to know her.
People move WAY to fast in today's world.
@@CelticSpiritsCovenDo you practice what you preach?
I’ve been watching her . As a married man this woman is so on point ! 😀 she needs to get to the woman because she has all the men. I’ve been dying to figure out on how to get my wife to listen to her . Without getting into danger with her . This woman needs a medal oh honor from all the men .
Sincerely, if you figure out a way, please share it. I'm blessed by my wife - but I'm worried my sons may be stuck with sex less wives. (I like the wives, I just want somehow to help them and my sons with this truth.) Cannot think of a way to send this video to the wives... Without ruining our family relationships.
You need to be able to discuss topics openly, no matter how difficult.
If you're worried about getting into danger with your wife, you already are in danger. You cannot ever, ever be afraid to communicate 100% with your wife. If you are scared of the outcome then you have an unhealthy relationship and would be better off leaving.
Yeah, IMO refusing wives (you can probably make that spouses but I'm a man and refusing wife is my experience) will NEVER listen to this kind of material. They will only find and accept resources that justify their behaviour.
@@morrielouden1 that's exactly what I was about to write. Like your already at the problem if your worried about pissing her off lol
As a man that's been married for going on 26 years my top 3 needs are
1) Loyalty
2) Respect
3) Intimacy (which doesn't always mean sex)
Agreed on top 3. Well stated.
Oddly enough, most guys requirements are similar and everything on their lists is free. Women really have it easy.
1) Sex
2) Respect and communication skills. If she expects me to read her mind then she can just move out.
3) Cook / clean (I could do this on top of everything else but the fact that she has nothing else to do all day makes this something she can do to contribute)
Distant 4th) Entertaining/fun - I’m not expecting much here because she’ll never be funnier or more entertaining than my friends. Just don’t go out of her way to be annoying.
* loyal / honest- this is just implied so no need to assign it a number.
I'd be happy with sex and respect.
I agree, it is an important part of showing your love to your lover. The appreciation, the lust, the unrelenting love that you feel for that person. Sex isn't just a way of getting sexual satisfaction when you do it with someone you love. It is a form of showing the passion of your love for that person, and it can also give you the release of the stress that you and your lover may be experiencing. The endorphins give us the temporary freedom of the weight of our responsibilities. To make love is to give your partner the relief they need after the hellish day they may of been having, while casual sex is just a form of self gratification that has no love behind it. -Jack
It's one of the few arenas where men can fully express their emotions. There are so many social expectations around men controlling their emotions in everyday life.
Do you ever think that some men are selfish in the sexual relationship with their wife? A Grand majority of husbands are clueless or don't care. ( Most men will be at some point) 5 minutes and couple squirts later he's done. Her on the other hand pays the higher price of the sexaul union with a chance of 36 weeks pregnancy, ( All types BC have failure rate.) and other health issues because of it, and she hasn't had orgasm in the last couple of years - and only thing to show is a mess to clean up, The Juice isn't worth squeeze anymore.
You don't need a partner to get endorphin fix.
Wholeheartedly agree with this 100%!!
Also referencing your mention "lust" here, this is something I believe a lot of people (namely women) apparently misunderstand on a really bad level. I have always told people, there are 2 kinds of Lust: the one that people might generally label as 'bad lust' is the type that leads to a lot of casual or FwB sex (not saying these are wrong, but really not ideal for people who want a life partner). But the thing that a lot of people seem to fail to understand here is that, there is 'good lust' involved in a marital relationship when 2 people really love each other. When you really love your significant other, you will feel a lustful pull to them, but its ONLY for them and not for anyone else. I brought this up because I have noticed some people claiming to want something longterm seem to think any form of lust is evil or leads to cheating, when it isnt all one thing. The good kind of lust is actually beautiful when it comes from wanting only your spouse or significant other. 🙂
Sex shouldn't be a chore. If a woman doesn't want to have sex with a man, the more she begrudgingly does so, the more she will grow to resent him.
*People do not deprive themselves* of that from which they get pleasure, unless it is harmful.
So if a woman is withholding sex from a man for any reason other than medical (including hormonal changes), she is not sexually attracted to him and uses sex as a tool of manipulation. No amount of lecturing or counseling can/will fix that.
It is an intense form of communication, the most intense and one you can only get with someone you love. They say communication is 40% verbal, so much happen in a interaction that is not in words, when making love is the ultimate form of this.
The heartbreaking thing out of all of this is that, if and when a woman realizes the gravity of her actions (or inactions) and wants to change for the better, it may be too late, and he decides he wants out.
Usually, because she doesn't realise she did anything wrong until he leaves.... just like men getting blindsided by women leaving because he didn't get her 20,000 hints that she needs him to change. (Hint to women: Men don't get hints, TELL US!!!)
Goes both ways.
@@davidjones8942 WE DO TELL YOU. OVER AND OVER!! YOU MEN DON'T LISTEN!! DON'T CARE ABOUT OUR FEELINGS!!
@nofybn7794 well duh, of course it goes both ways. I'm the guy that walked away tho, so don't play that.
@nofybn7794 try rereading my comment and not yelling, both go a long way in a conversation.
Men are going to Asia and Eastern European countries to get a wife. I did. My wife is Thai. Best relationship I ever had. And I did marry her.
... a friend did that, & still still ended up divorced. I think the french have it right, just get a mistress or in the case of the ladies, a lover. problem solved... that's crazy you say ? ... well, modern researchers studied areas of "female sexual desire" as they to follow the science...
... & the latest research on female desire seems to indicate that you can't beat biological programming... & after 3-5 yrs, the romance between couples plummets.... :(
... Psychologist & Primatologist Dr. Kim Wallen (EmeryU Atlanta), has shown in his Rhesus monkey compounds, that female monkeys run the show wrt every aspect of monkey life, they are the Generals in War, the head of politics, they initiate ALL Sex, they do all the Objectifying & don’t hesitate to abandon their children to chase after various objects of desire .. they're basically *RAW*. Male monkeys on the other hand, tend to live to the side of family life & are SWAPPED OUT after ~3 yrs…why ? bc the female monkeys r too bored to have sex w them (~3.5 yrs in the wild) ... sound familiar ? If it does, no need to ever beat yourself up. Just don’t forget, gym/haircut, the ladies are RAW. ... as Bryan & science has uncovered & still is uncovering...
[ See Daniel Bergner's 2013 TedX talk/Book "What do women really want" where he writes about 8 yrs worth of interviews w female & male researchers & scientists on the topic of female desire, a great read.. & likely a disturbing read for most men ]
You're lucky it's turning out that a lot of those relationships are just as bad or worse. Most of the foreign women are only using men to immigrate.
I would rather date socially than get married again. The moment you're married and the newness wears off, you then become someone who simply provides her needs and wants. Nevermore!!!
Exactly. The worst part is, they feel entitled to it as well. Even though they fulfill none of their duties as a wife, they expect you to still fulfill all of your duties as a husband.
Never again!! Yes! 👍🏻🍻🇺🇸
I strongly think marriage is a scam!
Imagine treating sex with your significant other, the love of your life, like it’s a chore, rather than something to look forward to.
Men don’t get the same choice to opt out of our responsibilities in a relationship, we can’t not go to work and pay the bills because we “have a headache” or are “not in the mood” tonight.
Right 😂.
Simp men give their women opportunities to opt out. Not me, No sex = No marriage. I have my own property, I won't get legally married and if she wants a marriage with me, she has to promise a healthy sex life. If she breaks her promise, she is not going to be with me. Kicked to the curb with what she brought into the relationship.
@@Austenfan177This. This is the hard truth that so many men refuse to accept. If your wife never _wants_ to have sex with you, and only ever does it out of a sense of obligation, she is not attracted to you, and doesn't love you. She never was, and she never did. She only loves the things you provide for her, and she'd definitely prefer those things came with a more attractive man in the package.
You can never overcome this or change it. Your best option is to leave. If you cannot because of children in the picture, then heaven help you, because you f'd up. May your miserable life at least serve as a warning to others.
@@spamhere1123 NEVER too late to fix it. Nothing lonelier in life than being alone while you are married.
@@Austenfan177 And that is why you don’t try to turn a *Proper Garden Tool* into a housewife. Better to be alone than to be the bronze medal to the town bicycle.
Karen from the “happy wife school” is an excellent resource. Thanks for reviewing her content Melanie! It seems so few women actually make it to the “wife stage” anymore.
Poor lady would bear the name Karen. Started reading your statement sensing disrespect that was rapidly dispelled.
@@theViomax yeah, my wife’s name is Karen so I know about that name falling into “disrepute”.
There are few men who make it to ''husband';' stage anymore as well. Too many don't want to work.
@@TGP109 have you asked many to marry you? Or are you just assuming they would say no.
@@Guildofarcanelore I never cared to be married, so I can't say, but seeing what my friends went through even after a decade of ''being together'', it's been my experience that they're happy to get ''husband privileges'' without putting out a ring.
Sex is top 3 for men, physical touch is #1 for me. I had a similar experience in a 3 year relationship. At one point my ex shared with me that she wanted to stop having sex out of the blue and I was so confused. With guilt in my heart I had to lay it out bare, I won’t be staying in a sexless relationship so let’s end it now and started to cry and be the victim. I stood my ground because i thought it was selfish of her to already make this decision alone especially since this was a topic I had brought up on multiple occasions, voicing that I wanted us to work up to more intention with sex as a need for deeper connection. I talked her off that ledge but as you can guess the same selfish thinking made kept appearing so I broke up with her because I’m not here to be an unappreciated slave in my relationship. I wanted to marry her and spend the rest of my life with her, i’m glad I had the wisdom and courage to look at her clearly and know I will not be loved here
I'm not going to be an unappreciated slave in my relationship. NO SEX.
@@nofybn7794- No sekks = no relationship.
modern researchers delve into the less studied areas of "female sexual desire" as they to follow the science...
... the latest research on female desire seems to indicate that you can't beat biological programming... & after 3-5 yrs, the romance between couples plummets.... :(
... Psychologist & Primatologist Dr. Kim Wallen (EmeryU Atlanta), has shown in his Rhesus monkey compounds, that female monkeys run the show wrt every aspect of monkey life, they are the Generals in War, the head of politics, they initiate ALL Sex, they do all the Objectifying & don’t hesitate to abandon their children to chase after various objects of desire .. they're basically *RAW*. Male monkeys on the other hand, tend to live to the side of family life & are SWAPPED OUT after ~3 yrs…why ? bc the female monkeys r too bored to have sex w them (~3.5 yrs in the wild) ... sound familiar ? If it does, no need to ever beat yourself up. Just don’t forget, gym/haircut, the ladies are RAW. ... as science has uncovered & still is uncovering...
[ See Daniel Bergner's 2013 TedX talk/Book "What do women really want" where he writes about 8 yrs worth of interviews w female & male researchers & scientists on the topic of female desire, a great read.. & likely a disturbing read for most men ]
You saved yourself! At least!
Since when did sex=love to men?
It’s a healing experience to listen to women seriously trying to understand men in a respectful and self-critical way. Wow. Thank you!
This is so true, exactly why I'm separated now going into divorce stages currently. It was a miserable marriage and then told me one man's trash is the next man's treasure. I didn't find treasure at all nothing but another bill that I didn't need, divorce,moving, attorney fees etc..
At 6:25. I hear a lot of married women say they put out just to get it over with and keep him happy for another week or two. This is pretty depressing.
Get over it. That's just biology and how women evolved to keep increase chances of survival. Use your hand
hate women incluing my wife
Her name is Karyn Seitz and she presents weekly on her RUclips channel “The Happy Wife School”. Karyn has been through a lot and has come out humbled on the other side. Karyn is the best teacher for women today that I have found to date. And wise for Melanie to highlight Karyn’s sound teaching.
100%!!
fish can't teach fish how to be caught. men are fishermen and catch fish, the women. only a man can speak on this topic.
Yes, very important to humble women, they should know their place
Im 52; I’ve always had a strong sex drive. When my wife of 30 years embraced this concept, our marriage has improved 100%. I feel connected to her, happy with our relationship , and dream and fantasize constantly about sex with her. I also am really listening to her needs and work every day at meeting them.
This is why even in a marriage a man has to get comfortable with telling his wife NO. And not doing everything to make her happy. He can’t be afraid to lose her. When a wife sees that weakness she dries up and her legs close up.
I heard once a woman loses respect for u she dries up.
The second you get married, you've forfeited all your rights. Do you guys think for a minute? the laws are in their favor, that's why they want you to be in a relationship or marriage. The only way you win is by pump and dump. Even that comes with consequences these days. If you want a good woman, go to the Philippines. Move there and stay there.
Close the door on her, or never turn off the AC. Or just step out of the marriage and don't show appreciation or attention. Say you're going out and don't tell her where. Eat meals without her. OH AND GET A SEX ROBOT OR FLESHLIGHT AND SAY YOUD RATHER FUCK AN INANIMATE OBJECT THAN HER! 😂😂
Just do anything to make her jealous, she gotta work for your attention.
This all sounds like, “if she’s going to eventually enact manipulative tactics, then, I’ll manipulate her first.” I gotta be honest: telling her No so you can keep an upper hand isn’t a healthy relationship either.
This past summer, I went to the Philippines to meet the woman I'd been talking to online for a year. While there, I took her on a trip to Cebu, where I got confused about the hotel, and we drove an hour across the city to get to the wrong place, and then drive an hour back to get to the right one. I felt so stupid the whole time, and (now) my fiance was so quiet. I hadn't learned yet that this meant she was hungry, not that she was angry. All I could hear was the stink my ex-wife would have made over this mistake, and in my head, all I could do was beat myself up. The relationship was ruined, she was just tolerating me at this point, all of the bad.
We get into the correct hotel, and the moment the doorman leaves the room, she begins pulling my clothes off. You can figure out where it went from there.
During it, I couldn't believe this was happening. Afterwards, my confidence was through the roof. Having her initiate sex in that moment completely shifted EVERYTHING, and turned that time of embarassment and humiliation into one of the best experiences of my life.
Women, you all have this ability. Is your husband seeming distant? Does he seem down? You can initiate sex with him and make him feel like a millionaire. It is actually quite easy.
You are so right!!!! Good sex -- scheduled or surprised - is life changing for us guys -- thankfully both of my wives knew that. I worry for my sons though, I pray their wives understand the truth you share and in this video!
Amen! I know exactly what you are talking about. Also, men are told their whole life to be respectful, non aggressive, slow etc. Having a female lightly seduce you is intoxicating. When married, I believe women forget about the power of seduction. All men want is that green light. Sadly, after marriage the light stays red.
Well said! And rarely done...
I was shocked how Esther Pearl? Said in an interview, "Women go out of their way, spend so much time, effort, money and energy to find and get the exact perfect gift for their man..... when all she had to do was spend 5 minutes in bed and he would have been 10 times happier!!!"
We are such simple creatures. Get sex right and everything falls into place. If not, the guy is a jerk. Period.
The ROI with respect to time invested is amazing: 1 hour of sex is easily a week or more of elation!
My wife recently passed away, she had gotten really sick back in 2015, and our sex stopped. So for eight years I took care of her not even thinking about it, sex was something in the past for me. It was more important to have her here for then not.
In your case, I cannot agree with you more. When my wife fell ill, I did/felt the very same way. But after months of recovery and now healthy again, I have that uncontrollable urge to be "more" intimate with her than just taking care of her and the household chores, but she always has and continues to curb my advances with, I'm tired, it's too late, it's too early, I'm not in the mood or some other excuse that never seem to end.
The men on here would tell you to dump her cuz u “need” it. You are a good man.
You are 100% correct, Melanie! I’m happy you see this, along with Karyn, and I hope you both continue to proclaim this fact for a long time to come.
Thanks to BOTH of you! We men LOVE you! ❤
Love has been almost completely removed from sex in our current society and I meet more and more people, women and men, who truly believe the best sex you can have is hookups, ONS, etc.. I feel sad for these people, and I see no happy, fulfilling, healthy relationship in their future.
A woman dismissing men who do not instantly turn her on, is the equivalent of a man choosing only hot women who will #### him on the first day.
The difference is that the woman is solidifying HERSELF into a ridiculous fantasy mindset of what she is capable of feeling desire for, while a man can always quite easily stop being a slut and choose better women because it's not about his desire, just his patience.
Men don't give a shit about love.
We want respect, praise, sex, food, peace, and loyalty, but love doesn't concern men.
Love is for Disney fairy-tales and women's romance novels.
@ViaConDias Because that's true, even in a marriage that still has a couple engaging in intimacy it will never be as good as those hookups, ONS, etc., The reason is the love can not replace the excitement, the adrenaline rush you get from those other encounters, the best you can hope for is to keep your love life with your partner from getting stale and boring. That is the main reason why sex stops happening, it becomes boring and stale...and that can be blamed on both parties.
I just had this conversation about this exact thing. You can’t cut off a man sexually and expect things to be ok just because you’re married now.
This is all spot on and I've been through it as a man and it's absolutely soul draining to deal with. If a woman wants to be treated badly and that gives them an adrenaline rush, then they have severe trauma that needs to be dealt with before a relationship.
Hey, thanks girls. I appreciate you both sticking up for us dudes. I've been pretty sick of my wife, personally!
I've lost hope for getting married honestly. I'm 22, I don't think women like these exist in my generation
@spencerlarson9357 Sadly, your generation is screwed with the "ideas" that are pushed socially. The only thing I can tell you is love who you find but never be in love to the point you're afraid to walk away.
I have been married for 30+ years. When we first got married, my wife did not understand how important it was. Now she understands and we are quite regular. And it is better than ever. Sex improves intimacy and that is why it should only be for marriage. It is a bond that should only be between married couples. Having several sexual partners before marriage decreases one's ability to bond with their spouse. God had this whole thing figured out. Who knew? :)
So true
I agree, we're not meant to have to many partners,
Amen!
SO TRUE!
Medical research has produced some amazing findings regarding the relationship between sex and brain physiology, reinforcing what some of us already thought. "The two shall become one flesh" is no fairy tale or mumbo-jumbo, it is real and, for me, goes a long way to explain the terrible damage it does when such biblical notions are rejected (surprise, surprise). And no, I don't need to hear from the haters.
The one thing that stands out about her (Karyn) in her videos is that she’s very remorseful of her past treatment of her husband, and in doing so she shows her vulnerable side. It shows how far she’s come and how open she’s being.
Another excellent wife speaks this truth (to women and couples) in her Forgiven Wife blog.
Yup it sucks to be zoned out of sex, but pressured to perform in every other department. It hurts a lot.😢
I particularly liked your analogy..... the husband gets put in the friend zone, so true.
A healthy sex life is #1 for most men. This analysis is spot on in so many ways
I applaud this woman for highlighting that men are different and we have different needs that we're no longer going to feel shame for!
My sandwich is that men need sex like a woman needs a sense of security.
Don't be fooled. Women need and desire sex too. And there are women who's men don't give it to them too. The issue with a lot of men is. They're chasing a particular type of women. The same type of women whom are chasing Chad and Tyrone. Fellas? Those aren't the only type of female on the planet. And why lecture a woman who's going to do what she wants? That's wasted energy and time that you can find a quality woman who's going to provide on many levels.
When I was Married, she would use it as a obedience tool. Told her if she does not step up to the plate, I will find a designated hitter to take her place. She laughed and then cried later on when she found out I found a replacement in the bedroom. She got mad even after I told her up front my intentions.
She asked for it.
Men say this alot and women believe them. It is a clear sign why a lot of women have trust issues. Marriage like dating means sex to men and that's all.
Boof! Heavy.
Yeahhh just divorce at that point my boy. Llh 😂
Not that I agree with infidelity, but I can't deny why you did. I believe the only reason why I haven't done so is that I know how it feels to be cheated on and the guilt I saw in her. I never want to feel that way
So from what I have read is that women are attracted to competence in men. This is often perceived via the confidence exuded by the man. This is why young women are often tricked by psychopathes into being with them, as the psychopathe has mastered the element of pretending to be confident in all situations.
What happens in marriage? The woman gets to see behind the curtain. Men are not confident in all situations, not by a long shot. Men have their own insecurities and struggles, and this curbs that innate attraction.
Sex is not just for pleasure, it's not just for procreation, it's a key mechanism of bonding and intimacy between a couple. You want a stronger bond with your spouse? It shouldn't be a job, it's literally something you should want. A strong bond with another human being. All aspects of intimacy are meant for that purpose.
The fact that we even need to have this conversation after 300,000 years of human civilization is incredibly eye opening as to just how broken our society has become. And people wonder why all these young fellas out here are giving up? They have been told "the world doesn't owe you anything" since grade school. But flip the script to young girls and they are told "you deserve the world" are you really going to be surprised when one of them decides to shirk society?
Thank you for being so highly perceptive and truthful in your life and with yourself
American women are gonna fuck around and have Muslims come in to snip the clit.
Lazy
Lol, for the vast majority of those 300K years, sex wasn't had as much as it is today, with BC and abortion and pron. Who do you think you're kidding?
It's only been 60 years since reliable birth control in the hands of women has been available, so to imply that 300K years of human life was the norm is wildly wrong.
Absolutely. There is no point to marriage or relationship without sex and children.
100% facts
Other than those two things it is nothing but one obligation after another for him. Wouldn’t you think she would look at the benefits she receives that clearly outweigh anything she has to give and willingly provide sex when he needs it?
@@GBU61 Worst damage caused by feminism is devaluing the traditional roles of both men and women. Now relationships are only left with expectations and rights of women.
I think that's a bit extreme, but a woman should not demand or expect monogamy if she withholds sex.
@@dugnice that's not extreme, there isn't anything else to solidify a marriage. That's the truth, the marriage isn't a MARRIAGE WITHOUT BECOMING ONE, meaning if you are not having consistent, and enjoyable sex, than you have no marriage. The enjoyable part is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.
Been married 23 years and the last 5 years have like living with a roommate. When I initiate any type of intimacy, she shuts it down and I'm accused of being a sex addict. In my mind I've already checked out and just doing things to make me happy.
Find yourself a young partner that like sex. Life is to short. And she may not even mind since she doesn't have the drive. I would tell her I'm looking to see what type of reaction she gives you.
During a rough patch in our marriage and Putting up those walls caused my husband to step out . When i had found out he had already stopped the affair and we were on good terms so i honestly gave him a second chance we've been together for 18yrs and that was the first mistake he has made i already found forgiveness in my heart because i will be honest i really did push him and watching this video confirms my contribution. I haven’t told him i forgave him as yet because it have days where the betrayal ir real and i breakdown and cry.
I wish i did see this video when we were in a rough patch it would of saved this pain now.
Your refusal to have sex with your husband is as much a betrayal as his "stepping out". Please realise that. He would have been giving you "second chances" multiple times before he ever had to "step out", so get off your high horse, accept and admit your responsibility in this, humbly apologise to him and make it up to him.
Baaaaaaahhhhhhaaaaaaaa!
No.
Her stepping out would have been as much a betrayal as his stepping out.
Don't place the same severity on refusing intimacy as committing adultery.
A secure woman is an affectionate & confident woman.
A man who cheats, basically says to his wife, "you don't measure up".
Why, if respect is so important, would men want to show his woman he is definitely not worthy of it?
Because I don't know any situation where respect is found by dishonesty, disloyalty, and dishonor.
Men don't keep friendships with other men where that happens, why would a woman open herself to a man willing to wound her heart?
Wow, this is EXACTLY what I am experiencing right now. She never initiated sex after we got married. Nowadays, she would go to sleep every time I hint at wanting sex after I take a shower. Once I get out of the shower she's already sleeping.
I cook her breakfast before she leaves for work.
I kiss her every morning and before we go to sleep at night.
Right now she'd rather browse twitter as soon as she wakes up, during meals and before bed.
I know she's a hard working woman and that is why I treat her like a queen.
Thank you for this video. I really needed to watch a video regarding this topic. I am gonna sub. Hi and happy new year to everyone and to you, Melanie!
You need to have a tough conversation with your wife. I was in a similar situation, then couldn't bear it anymore and told her that I was deeply unhappy. Which in brackets meant that I am considerin changing my whole life situation. After that, sex frequency increased drastically. I live in Europe and divorce is not as financially devastating for men as in the US it seems.
If you do find a way to show her this video, let us know how you did so and what happened with her afterwards, how she reacted.
I dont understand something, you treat her like a queen because she is hard working?? She would rather look at crap on the phone than want to make love to you, and then decieves you with lies about sleeping.. but you continue to kiss her morning and night because she works hard and gives her energy for her job and not you, but she is your queen for this?
Fam you have a big problem…you’re too nice and it has become your own worst enemy smh start by putting your foot down and telling her how you really feel and what you like or don’t like…start there
Thank you for explaining the psychology of neglect which neglect is a form of abuse
It absolutely is. And it's a despicable betrayal.
Karen is the best teacher for women I’ve ever heard… she’s single-handedly redefining and redeeming the term “Karen” and shes saving lives and doing God’s work.🙏🏾
What is her RUclips name?
The Happy Wife School....
I said before, her name, ironicly, is Karen. 🤣🤣🤣
Absolutely correct Melanie. This is exactly how my ex-wife was. Then when I was dating again I easily saw this pattern. The sad thing is, from my perspective, it doesn't always have to be sex. Good grief, would it kill her to show some eponthy, give him a tender touch and some comfort? No, can't do that, your a man, suck it up. I have not discovered a woman worth my effort and that's why I have been completely single for the past 20 years.
Just like everything in life; sex means something different based on the individual. Yes us men biologically crave sex... but that's just the surface. The question to ask yourself is "what is the difference between sex and masturbation?".
For myself, sex is an expression of love between two people. It's very vulnerable, and one of the deepest forms of connection. It's the unspoken act of loving and trusting someone so deeply that you're willing to have a child togeather. A desire to be so connected that you create new life made from the two individuals into one entity.
Refusing sex in my opinion, would be like denying love. A person can only be rejected so many times before feeling that it's not necessarily the act itself that is being denied, but instead the person.
Perfect description .
Truth
Wow, I went through this with my ex-wife. It felt horrible. I went through that for 7 yrs, and I learned from that experience. Fast forward, I never looked back.
Just leave
Relationships change over time as we continue to grow and learn more about ourselves.
Every couple has their own breaking point.
Or melting point!😂
After being married for at least 10 years, most guys learn to live with out it. Women weaponize affection to use against men, so we just adapt and learn to live without it.
This channel deserves a billion likes. For honesty and openness.
Oh yeah. This is one of the things that RUINED my marriage. My ex wife and I were boyfriend and girlfriend for three years before we got married and we were like rabbits. We had sex almost every day. That all CHANGED AFTER we got married. Like this video said: we were like roommates after I became her husband. I'm not lying: a couple years after we got married, we use to have sex maybe twice a YEAR.😮😮 I had no idea what was going on. I use to ask her, what was going on? Are you still attracted to me or what? She use to turn around and blame on me saying I wasn't attracted to her anymore. That was a lie. She never gave me a straight answer so of course, since me and my wife had no sexual relationship, I started sleeping with other women. So since I wasn't getting my needs met at home, I didn't care wether my wife and I had sex or not. Ladies: if you're married and your doing this to your husband. Withholding sex from him, and he's acting like it doesn't bother him anymore... he's moved on and found a side chick. My Motto is...if Taco Bell is closed, there's ALWAYS a 24 Hr Jack n Box.
Did she maybe catch you watch pornography or something? That’s really hard on a woman’s self esteem.
I wouldn’t stay for an arrogant wife that thinks its fine to withhold sex.
Forget the side chicks, just divorce that undeserving pile of a wife.
Flip the monopoly board upside down and let all the garbage fall on the floor
This proves that 'testing the waters' before marriage is no proof of compatibility.
Typical Man Behavior…Instead of Communication With Your Spouse…Infidelity Is The Answer…
@@mommythebaddest1843 he said he tried to communicate and she blew him off...
As mentioned by another, what I require of my wife is respect, peace, sex. This gives me the drive to go out into the world and fight for my families needs. If your wife doesn't respect you, is highly argumentative, and there is no sex, what does that tell you about what she thinks of you. If he isn't getting these don't be surprised if he looks elsewhere for it.
Respect, peace and sex? I have none of those in my marriage. Lol
@@SimpleCivilThen she can get DIVORCED
@@SimpleCivil why are you dumb enough to stay?
Confucius say, "woman who puts man in dog house, soon find him in cathouse!"
Thank you for enlightening me about this issue. It has opened my mind to how selfish I have been and how I have misunderstood men. I listen to what society says about men and then blindly believe it but, what was said in this video makes more sense to me. I will be listening to more of the good wife school videos and incorporating them into my life. I can feel a shift has happened in me and right now I feel a mixture of emotions because my eyes have been opened. Thank you for posting this video. Truly appreciative. ❤️
Im amazed at both of these Women's perspectives as females;
Truly they both have been touched by God's hand for Wisdom , Knowledge & Understanding.😇
You both show the importance of a Godly wife's Spiritual mindset.
Wow------im A.M.A.Z.E.D.
Many many Blessings to you both.