The Doja Cat Dilemma: When Authenticity Kills Expectations | Video Essay

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  • Опубликовано: 8 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 1,6 тыс.

  • @TahtahmesDiary
    @TahtahmesDiary Год назад +1404

    Doja is definitely the one who called her fans Kittenz and has done so for years. Suddenly pretending it’s been the fans just calling themselves that only is BEYOND disingenuous, whoever wrote that headline in the thumbnails is a class A gaslighter of recent history.

    • @Mel-jl8dt
      @Mel-jl8dt Год назад +122

      She even had a poll up on twitter asking which name for a fandom

    • @IsaacClodfelter
      @IsaacClodfelter Год назад +54

      That wasn't a headline or thumbnail, that was a tweet that she wrote herself.
      And yeah, Doja has been getting A+s in gaslighting recently.

    • @steverogers7601
      @steverogers7601 Год назад +26

      And to take it further, if wouldn’t surprise me that if you called her out on it, she’d dip and dodge by claiming “it was just a joke….I was trolling ya’ll”
      She doesn’t strike me as the kind to have a backbone.

    • @xoxocessa
      @xoxocessa Год назад +5

      she made a poll on twitter about what she should call her fans, and everyone voted kittens. so like, yeah. lol

    • @astraelist1172
      @astraelist1172 3 месяца назад

      ngl fleas is such a fitting fanname lol

  • @potatobunsu8929
    @potatobunsu8929 Год назад +1450

    Didn't she start being more horribly rude because of her fans letting her know that her boyfriend is predator or something, and she just straight up block the victims of her boyfriend? 😭😭

    • @oogaboogass
      @oogaboogass Год назад +181

      This started it all actually 🤢

    • @Mike90317
      @Mike90317 Год назад +65

      Her canon event!

    • @ruiiios
      @ruiiios Год назад +11

      @@Mike90317 lmao noo

    • @Play.Bhunnie
      @Play.Bhunnie Год назад +46

      @@Mike90317 hey no, I totally agree, ik someone whose with a pred and trying to get out. It took her YEARS to realize what everyone (mainly me) was trying to warn her about. Doja won’t see until it’s right in her face or something happens that she can no longer brush to the side. It’s sad that it’s this way, but people love to put on their rose-tinted glasses for quote on quote “love”

    • @ChristinaMoralesMindfuqed
      @ChristinaMoralesMindfuqed Год назад +17

      reminds me of that song by olivia rodrigo called "vampire"
      maybe doja is hearing from him that these victims have it out for him nd since she knows him and not those girls, she will believe him because she likes him.
      Maybe she is just having her dumb moment with a bad boyfriend and needs to learn the hard way.

  • @RakisDerra
    @RakisDerra Год назад +4755

    Unfortunately, Doja Cat doesn't understand that there's a difference between being honest and being downright incredibly rude... She is disguising her behaviour as *honesty* to get a pass for actually berating people. I understand very well that she wants to distance herself from all the noise, but she could have done that in a more respectful way as far as I'm concerned. I just think it's unfair to her normal fans who support her just fine. It shouldn't matter if you know the person or not, people deserve to be treated with respect, ESPECIALLY the people who make it possible for you to continue doing and making money off of what you love to do, period.

    • @JulianSteve
      @JulianSteve Год назад +46

      Exactly right, Rakis! I agree with you.

    • @thegoodkindofweirdo
      @thegoodkindofweirdo Год назад +77

      I don't think the "normal fans who support her just fine" were affected by this AT ALL. In fact, we believe her, because you guys, on the other hand, were making fandoms and doing wild things for your Doja that is too much for one person to handle, and honestly I'd snap. And if you ask me, if you would do things for me, doing things that I wouldn't vibe would give me the creeps.
      I guarantee you, the normal fans weren't bothered at the slightest, because we weren't the ones being told, it's you guys. 🥴

    • @vegahimsa
      @vegahimsa Год назад +18

      Is she being “incredibly rude”?

    • @thegoodkindofweirdo
      @thegoodkindofweirdo Год назад +22

      @@vegahimsa This I also have a question, too 😂 How are y'all letting her "troll" attitude get to you all? This wasn't "rude," that's her language. I laugh at y'all again.

    • @thinking6572
      @thinking6572 Год назад +122

      @@thegoodkindofweirdono one has to accept her “troll” language. She’s free to go and make everyone mad if she wants and call it “trolling”, but people have an equal right to respond and find her offensive.

  • @heyimsasa
    @heyimsasa Год назад +3299

    she didn't start lashing out like this on such a big scale until victims started coming forward to warn her and she railed on them before blocking them. that's just vile.

    • @simulationone
      @simulationone Год назад +48

      Yup 👍

    • @internetstranger-
      @internetstranger- Год назад +10

      exactly. i noticed many people on twitter calling her predator bf out and the next moment i see her lashing out and blocking people on twt, ig everywhere. she really self sabotaged to protect that dickhead she's dating

    • @karmica7591
      @karmica7591 Год назад +406

      That’s the worst thing to me. I don’t care that she changed her aesthetic or whatever (I even personally like it more tbh), or if she thinks that her older music is too mainstream, but the way she reacted about her new boyfriend’s victims speak up is disgusting.

    • @LavenderViolet00
      @LavenderViolet00 Год назад +114

      Agreed! The fact Salem never mentioned this was terrible.

    • @celedhion
      @celedhion Год назад +91

      I can't believe that was such a short segment of the video. I literally know nothing about Doja Cat, I just like watching Salem, and after looking up the stuff with the boyfriend once it was mentioned in the vid, that's the only thing that made me majorly dislike Doja Cat. I'm really glad I don't know her or her music if she defends and dates predators and silences victims.

  • @MP4_mafia
    @MP4_mafia Год назад +6736

    I understand distancing yourself from toxic parasocial relationships, but I don't think it's some sort of subversive 4D chess move and she's still being rude. Edit: oh how this aged, seems like she is just rude.

    • @biihisme
      @biihisme Год назад +551

      Right? I think a lot of people are missing the big point here... It doesn't matter if they are her fans or not. Being rude and mean-spirited on purpose is just distasteful. Specially to people who weren't doing anything wrong (I would understand if the fans were being overbearing or something but finding a fandom name is literally so tame...) It's not that she is "rude to fans", it's just that she is a rude person, full stop. If that's how she talks to her fans, one has to wonder: how does she treat her staff and the people around her?

    • @laweafome528
      @laweafome528 Год назад

      All parasocial relationships are toxic

    • @liswane
      @liswane Год назад +143

      idk, i feel like as a celebrity who on the daily receives hate comments, or people asking way too personal questions, or acting like they have a right to your attention because they "support you", doja had to draw the line as hard and wide as she could. the way she went about it is probably the only way people would actually take her seriously and stop being as parasocial with her. maybe as a regular person we can't have the full scope of how it feels to have that much interest in your life, but i bet i'd snap if 50 people were commenting on my life as if they knew anything, let alone thousands.
      and if you're hurt she disowned the fandom name, you're clearly the people she's trying to push away 'cause that's parasocial 101. i love so many artists but i've never felt the need to call myself a kitten or a swifty cuz that's some 10 year-old online mentality. it's not a crime but if doja is done w nicknames, there's plenty more artists who don't care if you do, like taylor swift, so who cares?

    • @kaam..
      @kaam.. Год назад +73

      @@biihisme you don’t know her. How can you say who she is as a person? You’re still engaging in parasocial behavior.

    • @LavenderViolet00
      @LavenderViolet00 Год назад +6

      Agreed

  • @doubled5444
    @doubled5444 Год назад +91

    the fact that people gloss over that her new boyfriend is a literal predator who targeted underage girls, and then doja cat blocked all of the girls who spoke out about it is insane to me. framing it as people only being mad because of what she said about her fans is so disingenuous to me.

  • @gh0ulgirl
    @gh0ulgirl Год назад +408

    the thing that really makes me laugh about doja is she’s constantly trying to say she doesn’t care about anyone or anything when everything about her actions and responses screams the complete opposite and it’s so obvious. nothing wrong with caring it’s just crazy to see her say so many things and i think to myself like “…….you’re talking about yourself too though..”

    • @phoenixdavida8987
      @phoenixdavida8987 9 месяцев назад +2

      Right! Unfortunately a sign of emotional immaturity ... &/or willful ignorance.

  • @nuriamurogio5814
    @nuriamurogio5814 Год назад +740

    Not gonna lie, I’m still a bit salty because when Doja came to Paraguay and she behaved poorly with her fans, american fans were like “nah you are all crazy and exaggerating”. But we KNEW. It was also funny how we latin countries mock each other but when someone messes up with one of us we all unite agains them lmao

    • @aguarameiryo
      @aguarameiryo Год назад +88

      ... I remember that night. It started to rain a lot, I don't remember if the music festival was cancelled or not but I still remember that: While Miley Cyrus was singing at the hotel and having a good time with her fans even with all that rain... The people who were there for Doja literally were there on a storm. And then Doja complained about it. That made zero sense.
      *Edited because of grammar and some things that I forgot. I really felt bad for those who were on the rain to see Doja.

    • @Matiiiimatilda
      @Matiiiimatilda Год назад +29

      Grítalo hermana

    • @SalimDoodles
      @SalimDoodles Год назад +106

      Came here to say this omg, she was so rude saying stuff like "I never force y'all to stay in the rain" and after almost 3 days of people waiting outside, she left the country saying "Y'all are fake ass fans, no one waited for me outside while leaving the hotel, I'm never coming back" like gurl 💀

    • @emi-eg9bu
      @emi-eg9bu Год назад +8

      Fr

    • @bloody_dagger819
      @bloody_dagger819 Год назад +55

      I was expecting she talked about that incident bc that was even before she changed her appearance and she was already being rude to her fans, I think that was always in her, she just hide it until know

  • @_salemtovar_
    @_salemtovar_  Год назад +383

    💗Hey hey hey everyone! sorry for the late upload, I've been gone for a while celebrating 7 lovely years with my partner

    • @dippypete4911
      @dippypete4911 Год назад +10

      Omg congrats on your anniversary! :D

    • @TinyLoaff
      @TinyLoaff Год назад +6

      Congrats, Salem!!

    • @3.6-57
      @3.6-57 Год назад +6

      Omg congratulations!! ❤❤

    • @justkiddin84
      @justkiddin84 Год назад +5

      Happy Aniversary!

    • @Diana-ny9xj
      @Diana-ny9xj Год назад +2

      Happy anniversary🫶🏾you are amazing salem and a true inspiration!!❤️

  • @RT......
    @RT...... Год назад +348

    I'm not even that deeply involved with Doja's career or antics but just from sitting on the sidelines I've observed:
    - Internalized racism
    - A history of edgelord/chronically online behavior
    - Competing for the attention of incels
    - Dating the sketchiest people possible
    - Being nasty to victims
    - Unnecessary aggression
    I'm not going to pretend like I know her personally and I do think criticizing parasocial relationships is valid, but damn is it hard not to fill in the blanks with how much she regurgitates online all the time. There definitely seems to be some self hatred and an attempt to shove away the old versions of herself while still using social media attention to try and gain validation. She really goes back and forth.
    I think it makes sense that she would still crave acceptance even while resenting the position she's in, because she went from relatively unknown with existing issues to being put on a pedestal and then continuously consumed and picked apart as a product instead of a person. Fame will really amplify all the bad and painful things that already exist in you, and then add an extreme amount of social pressure to your every move.
    It really seems like she needs to take a step back and do some self reflection on what she wants. She doesn't seem happy with her life at all and it will just keep running her down this miserable path.

    • @simulationone
      @simulationone Год назад +16

      💯

    • @JuneKafaltiya
      @JuneKafaltiya Год назад +21

      You just wrote all the things in my head this Comment want more attention

    • @spOOkytimes
      @spOOkytimes Год назад +33

      Her rant about her former albums being cash grabs sealed the deal for me in your last paragraph. It kind of seems like the wants more creative freedom but hasn't reached that level yet. Other great artists like Lady Gaga have felt overwhelmed by their careers and took hiatuses to regroup. Lady Gaga even hated Telephone because of how stressful it was to make. No doubt Doja has some of these feelings but she is trying to destroy her career rather than demand time off.

    • @annoyance96
      @annoyance96 Год назад +7

      this!!

    • @YouKnowImOnMyPeriodYah
      @YouKnowImOnMyPeriodYah Год назад +18

      And that’s the very reason why I don’t want to be famous. Well-off, but not famous

  • @anywayscolette
    @anywayscolette Год назад +3462

    lets NOT pretend that she did nothing wrong because she didnt assault ppl like some other male celebs... being hateful towards minorities is also a problem. being hateful towards your own fans is straight up weird

    • @coochiestabbers
      @coochiestabbers Год назад +96

      *like her own bf

    • @oogaboogass
      @oogaboogass Год назад +241

      She also dated a pedo and got mad at her fans blocked them for calling her out on it 💀

    • @poilaaliop
      @poilaaliop Год назад +192

      It's like people have forgotten that she used to hang out in 4chan tinychats... I'm sorry, her music is fun, but I could never stan

    • @Danielle-ze9ds
      @Danielle-ze9ds Год назад

      ​@@poilaalioplol I never even knew she did. Interesting. I never really got into her, liked her songs that Macy's played in the store 24/7 (just started working remote again so no more Macy's radio for me lol) but interesting that she frequented 4chan tinychat

    • @BlueberrySummertime
      @BlueberrySummertime Год назад +2

      He hasn’t been hateful to any minorities wtf

  • @thu4061
    @thu4061 Год назад +966

    ok but Doja has been trash in my book after she threw a tantrum because not enough people 'greeted' her while their homes were getting washed away by floods. It's not her being 'real' or setting boundaries her personality is by default just selfish and arrogant tbh.

    • @Mike90317
      @Mike90317 Год назад +54

      Paraguay was right!!!

    • @momoonkissed
      @momoonkissed Год назад +81

      Yeah, I stopped following and listening to her music since Paraguay's incident, plus the Lorry Hill situation...

    • @abrilvonbunny6205
      @abrilvonbunny6205 Год назад +69

      I still skio her songs after that...
      Everytime people fail to mention Paraguay and the beef after that against Brazilians and the whole of latinoamerica in these videos... and make it all about her looks???
      She is rude, she HAS been rude and erratic and will continue to be...

    • @elly7077
      @elly7077 Год назад +66

      omg thank you, Everyone was calling Latinos crazy for being offended by this incident like does she not have any empathy for her fans?

    • @ChristinaMoralesMindfuqed
      @ChristinaMoralesMindfuqed Год назад +10

      W HA T?! when was this????

  • @metapuns9004
    @metapuns9004 Год назад +2221

    Any entertainer; be it sports star, musician, or actor; has to understand that their services are not a commodity. You are famous because of your marketability. Doja Cat has every right to feel the way she does but she has no right to call people out for wanting her attention that she asks us for.

    • @luxgh
      @luxgh Год назад +186

      She gave attention to her fans, she gave them the kittenz (also very discord mod vibes ew wtf) name to them and said she loved them and now she's mad because they're asking her to do it again. Should have set boundaries since the start.

    • @CutiePatutie_SmookiePookieBear
      @CutiePatutie_SmookiePookieBear Год назад +97

      I'm more mad that she's blocking people for calling out Mr. Cyrus

    • @emi-eg9bu
      @emi-eg9bu Год назад +5

      This one right here

    • @victoriarooks784
      @victoriarooks784 Год назад +15

      She should know better honestly. Like why does she not understand some of the people making bad comments are most likely "underage"

    • @axeslinger94
      @axeslinger94 Год назад +31

      We are still under capitalism, so yes, their services are commodities, it's just that *they themselves are the commodities!* They sell spectacle, image, illusion, products, fanbases, it's all a type of commodity. This has nothing to do with the "fan entitlement to a celeb's attention/life details" conversation, but they are in a profession where they are the product just as much as we are as fans to advertisers and concert promoters.

  • @Astrogone1801
    @Astrogone1801 Год назад +174

    You brought up some valid points regarding her decline and fall, but personally, I don't think it's an excuse to mistreat her fans who have no ill intentions towards her. She is undeniably talented, which is something everyone agrees on. Maybe, if she had communicated her change without treating her fans like stupid for liking her previous songs, things would be different. Despite claiming not to care about her fans, she responds aggressively to negative opinions they express. I understand that she's frustrated by the toxic behavior of some fans, but she even treats those who genuinely appreciate her music poorly.
    Besides, you omitted mentioning the incident in Paraguay where she made a scene because her fans "weren't" present when she left the hotel, even though the city was experiencing torrential rains. While I recognize her talent, I will not support someone with a shitty attitude towards their fans.

  • @littlepan21
    @littlepan21 Год назад +643

    let's not forget how she acted all diva in her south america tour and treated us like trash, specially the incident in Paraguay and when she was called out then played the victim and said iM lEaVinG mUsIc

    • @The_Bean
      @The_Bean Год назад +18

      Yep, this is why I don't see many artists in person

    • @spOOkytimes
      @spOOkytimes Год назад +63

      fr there are also other instances of her being rude in lives before she even came out with Say So. She needs to learn healthier coping skills rather than lashing out at people.

    • @YouKnowImOnMyPeriodYah
      @YouKnowImOnMyPeriodYah Год назад +26

      @@The_Bean
      Literally the only artists I’d be willing to see in person is Melanie Martinez

    • @star0nyx
      @star0nyx Год назад +1

      Yea its been like pver a year of her saying she wants to leave music, etc. And her twitter has always been OFF. Many people find it funny, I stopped following her as soon as she blew up. She's weird guys lmao

    • @SweetPeaAly
      @SweetPeaAly Год назад +6

      @@YouKnowImOnMyPeriodYahtoo bad she’s just as bad 💀

  • @susana97m
    @susana97m Год назад +387

    It was not the Noah situation that changed Doja, it was her concert in Latin America that was supposed to be performed but the hurricane appeared and she got so much hate for not performing or saying hello to her fans sitting in the rain.
    She tweeted horrible things to those fans and received so much hate (starting to break) after that she appears bald

    • @oogaboogass
      @oogaboogass Год назад +93

      Yeah this creator didn't do her reaserch and is defending doja. Just dislike the video so she gets the message that not doing research is not cute or clever

    • @aguarameiryo
      @aguarameiryo Год назад +67

      I really felt bad for those who were there on the rain waiting for Doja.
      To clarify: The huge storm in Paraguay made impossible to do the music festival because the place was literally flooded. Those people who wanted to see Doja did something extremely risky (because it's very dangerous to go anywhere during a storm, there are a lot of flooded places that can take your life if you aren't careful)... Just for her to literally ignore them and then trash talk about it.
      It was very disrespectful.

    • @yusraluna
      @yusraluna Год назад +6

      @@oogaboogass these video essayists and pseudo intellectualists are so annoying. they always tie ANYTHING any backlash rightfully to something as "society" and "racism" and "patriarchy" it almost feels like they're gaslighting the people angry for calling out rich folks who are horrible people, like we're bad and unreasonable.

    • @didi7363
      @didi7363 Год назад +5

      @@aguarameiryoLMAO just because people endanger themselves willingly doesn't mean that Doja has to do the same because they're her FanS

    • @Lucia-ct2sj
      @Lucia-ct2sj 11 месяцев назад +3

      ​@@didi7363she was so rude with her fans from Paraguay, calling them "fake" for not showing up when she left the country while they were suffering a terrible natural disaster

  • @Peajay007
    @Peajay007 Год назад +750

    We had a male artist here in Australia that did an interview with a teen magazine that said and I quote ‘I hate my teeny bopper fans. They annoy me ‘
    He then released his new album which bombed. It took him a really long time to crawl back from that. He’s still around now but not as famous as he could have been. He had to hitch his wagon to a star to get back into the charts. Just for the record I wasn’t a fan. His music simply didn’t vibe with me. No hate. Just didn’t appeal to me

    • @Blue.1889
      @Blue.1889 Год назад +138

      Thank you, I’m like…there’s definitely been cases of men being held accountable or dropped by their fanbases, including Daniel Caesar and Roddy Rich for example. Cee Lo Green and Rick Ross were cancelled too (rightfully so) for their disgusting conduct online.

    • @onikalyons9968
      @onikalyons9968 Год назад +5

      Troye?

    • @Peajay007
      @Peajay007 Год назад +29

      @@onikalyons9968 no. An artist called Johnny diesel

    • @Peajay007
      @Peajay007 Год назад +39

      @@onikalyons9968 side note. Troye is a Really nice guy.
      Trivia. The music video for ‘my youth’ is a classic Aussie music video. It was shot in the family home with his best mates as the cast. Aussie bands and artists love to include their friends and family on their success. I’ve been an extra in a couple of band videos. Shock was a lot of fun

    • @coochiestabbers
      @coochiestabbers Год назад +19

      @@Blue.1889 dababy too he feel off so hard after the dani leigh situation

  • @p3rsianb4by
    @p3rsianb4by Год назад +134

    Doja is nearly 30, not a teenager who can be excused and infantilised for her actions. She enjoys the validation and money that fame brings. She fosters and loves para social relationships bc she stays chronically online. If she really wanted to make music and have no persona, she could like SIA or something. But she craves attention and needs an outlet for her deranged narcissistic rants.

    • @bariatric-parasite
      @bariatric-parasite 7 месяцев назад +2

      exactly, like why are you constantly online if you don't like ur fans there?

  • @suspiciousstar7547
    @suspiciousstar7547 Год назад +470

    For one I'm worried about what's going on with Doja but at the same time it doesn't excuse her bad behavior towards others. I understand dealing with a lot when it comes to being a star but don't take it out on people who are worried about you. Especially when you go that far to BLOCK SA VICTIMS for the sake of your gross streamer bf 😭. Like I have no idea why the music girls settle for the most toxic and sleazy-looking men 💀.

    • @Twat_Dirt
      @Twat_Dirt Год назад +39

      You’d think they’d have taste and a self esteem.

    • @bebe44144
      @bebe44144 Год назад +31

      You said exactly what I was thinking. I can sympathize with someone going through a tough time and maybe she is, but I don't think that should excuse causing harm or being rude/hurtful to others when they don't deserve it. Unless maybe it's her only way out of the toxic environment (her management) like Salem mentioned, but rn from what we can tell we don't fully know why she's doing whats she's doing. If it's just the hate getting to her then she honestly should just go to therapy and step away from social media for a bit, instead of lashing out toward her fanbase and responding to haters and trolls cause thats not going to help her in any way. As for the groomer bf.. maybe she didn't know about his past at first, but once she started blocking people calling it out she really lost me there.

    • @madheretic4423
      @madheretic4423 Год назад +4

      For real. They could go for a good man and they go for a literal toad hit with a frying pan that can’t even make it up in personality, I don’t get it 💀

  • @verda_renee
    @verda_renee Год назад +156

    I def think it's weird to demand that a celeb express love towards you when they don't know you. HOWEVER, my problem with celebs is that they ENCOURAGE the parasocial relationship with their fans to their benefit. They get online and talk to them and tell them how much they want them to stream music and buy tickets and gas them up etc, and they milk that relationship all the way to the bank, then switch it up when the fans have expectations in return. You can't have it both ways. You love the parasocial adoration when it's making you rich but then when you've "made it" you shxt on those very people. That's hella wack. That's the part I can't respect.

    • @virginiawhidbee8393
      @virginiawhidbee8393 Год назад

      this is why celebrity culture and worship is weird. They don't care about any of them and that is why this is considered a parasocial relationship. The celebrities are not their family or friends and fans needs to just enjoy the music, movies, streaming projects, etc and not expect any personal connection with these celebrities. It's screams "mental health"!. It's should be cancelled and because it's causing tragic mental and emotional outcomes. I personally ignore celebrities and don't care about any of them, but I get that everyone is not that mentally strong, but fans should focus on themselves and improving their lives rather than seeking validation from a group of self-centered, egotistical, narcisstic, over paid, elitist, spoiled, untalented and whiny celebrities. Sorry, didn't mean to be preachy, but it's just my opinion.

    • @ItachiUchiha-sh6of
      @ItachiUchiha-sh6of Год назад +3

      Late but im kinda iffy about this. Cause imo you don't need to push a parasocial relationship to get people to buy merch or go to concerts. If people like something they will spend money to support it. And I don't think most celebrities necessarily do. I would argue most people don't have very invasive relationships with the people they support.
      I also don't think parasocial relationships are inherently bad. But, I think then can be bad when people get to invested in them.

    • @verda_renee
      @verda_renee Год назад +6

      @ItachiUchiha-sh6of i totally agree that you can push merch and garner support without pushing parasocial relationships, but a lot of these celebrities do, though. Doja, for example, has been notoriously accessible to her fans from day one. Sitting on live for hours talking with them, joining their chatrooms, sharing every detail of her life with them, going far beyond how most celebrities interact with their fans. And that specifically has been a huge part of her blowing up. To nowvsuddenly hit then with "I'm not your friend, mind your business," after using those tactics just feels exploitative. She exploited that closeness that SHE fostered and now she's lowkey gaslighting them as if she never intended that.

    • @TheLunablackheart
      @TheLunablackheart Год назад +6

      I don't think she was actively using a tactic tho with her fans. Doing lives and stuff made her famous cos it's rare that a celebrity interacts THAT much with fans, but I genuinely think she was just doing it for the fun and then it got to the point where she was TOO famous to do that and fans EXPECTED her to keep doing that. Celebrities don't actually have any responsibility to upkeep a parasocial relationship with any amount of fans. It's your responsibility to recognise when you are feeling too strongly for a celebrity, someone you will never know, and to take a step back. Again, considering how online Doja has always been, I don't think she tactically created a strong parasocial relationship with fans to profit off them like K-pop stars do, I think she was just chronically online and then got fed up with it and got too oversaturated.

    • @treectrice9180
      @treectrice9180 10 месяцев назад

      ​@@TheLunablackheartgood points as well

  • @trixxart777
    @trixxart777 Год назад +1588

    Parasocial relationships are a wild thing

    • @emi-eg9bu
      @emi-eg9bu Год назад +117

      i think that this whole thing is a bad example of a parasocial relationship and i don’t like people calling it that because the definition of a parasocial relationship is a one sided relationship where one person (the audience in this situation) gives their energy and the other person (doja cat) dosent know they exist. but in reality she’s interacting with them on a day to day basis, on instagram live talking to them almost every day, taking time out of her day to respond to their tweets ect. this situation is the exact opposite of what a parasocial relationship is lmao. i love salem but hard disagree on this vid

    • @ak.0613
      @ak.0613 Год назад +100

      The problem here isn’t parasocial relationships, it’s her dating a ped0 then getting mad at her fans when they call her out.

    • @emi-eg9bu
      @emi-eg9bu Год назад +1

      @@ak.0613louder!!

    • @trixxart777
      @trixxart777 Год назад +11

      ​@emi-eg9bu just because someone likes or replies to your tweet or Instagram post what not doesn't mean you know them hell Salem liked this comment doesn't mean I know her were on completely different ends of the planet

    • @emi-eg9bu
      @emi-eg9bu Год назад +44

      @@trixxart777 you’re right i never claimed her fans know her on a personal level but this is not what a parasocial relationship is by definition

  • @rahbandssss
    @rahbandssss Год назад +50

    30:47 you said it so perfectly. “If you’re someone who’s truly happy with your life you will move in silence.”

  • @saramorris6686
    @saramorris6686 Год назад +381

    I wonder if it's basically a must to have a therapist as an influencer? There's just so much power in negativity, even if the negative comments are 1 out of every 10 positive ones, they can get to you. I think it's obvious that Doja Cat has succumbed to that negativity, and is fed up to the point that she will lash out at anyone.
    I feel like therapy for celebrities would make a good video topic also. 🦆

    • @stardewposting
      @stardewposting Год назад +41

      It's a must because basing your entire existence around selling yourself and being owned by society is taxing.
      Think of every time you had a fight with a friend, broke up, felt unsociable, or wanted to be alone. Now imagine that every single thing is blown up for the world to see, judge, and comment on, because you're expected to carry yourself as someone above other humans and be professional with EVERY interaction you have.
      Even leaving the morality of it all behind, it's psychologically bad for you, objectively.

    • @KSPKIki-
      @KSPKIki- Год назад +1

      Having a therapist would be impossible. That therapist would probably leak that information or sell it for a quick buck. It’s a celebrity, no NDA will keep someone from running their mouth for clout or money.

    • @stardewposting
      @stardewposting Год назад +19

      @@KSPKIki- Do... do you think no celebrity has a therapist? 😭 That is not how reality works, we are not in a TV show

    • @SarahG-vz3ki
      @SarahG-vz3ki Год назад

      Well i think therapy is great but personally think the average person shouldn’t go to therapy for more than 2 years cuz than it’s probably not working good enough. Also limiting time on social media and not reading comments would help her a lot but she keeps doing so anyways

    • @KSPKIki-
      @KSPKIki- Год назад

      @@stardewposting I didn’t say that, I meant it would be near impossible. Many celebrities have had private information leaked so it would probably take a long time for them to find a good, secure one. I’m sure many celebrities have therapists but I’m sure many more don’t.

  • @Lol-ll5gh
    @Lol-ll5gh Год назад +28

    6:32 ill never get over that clip of Lady Gaga helping SZA with her dress 😭
    Its just so wholesome
    Bonus points for her "my billionare husband just died under mysterious circumstances"/"i frolick in this dress around my 97 year old husbands mansion" vibes

    • @Starribruins
      @Starribruins Год назад

      Sza also wore a nhl jersey for SOS which I love

  • @MollyisMean
    @MollyisMean Год назад +1357

    I never see people willing to discuss her using raceplay kink in the open chat rooms with her "fans". It seems almost too taboo to even bring up her obvious humiliation fetish. All this other stuff is just a symptom of the bigger problem. Using her fans and the audience to get herself off.

    • @_salemtovar_
      @_salemtovar_  Год назад +804

      Oh man, it is a bit taboo! I didn't go in-depth about that because it's such a tricky topic to navigate! mainly because 1. the f*tish convo can get messy because of k*nk shaming and the stigma around it, and 2. a lot of people have different opinions about that particular k*nk and since I don't have experience in that area, I don't feel confident to talk about that stuff in depth since I cannot relate nor understand it fully. I will say however, she herself has said she very much enjoys getting people mad on the internet and does a lot of controversial things for her own pure enjoyment, which is interesting. People forget doja used to be a huge troll and loved making "meme" music when she was solo on soundcloud- I feel now that she's bigger- she doesn't understand she can't be playing around like that anymore, which may have contributed to her bitterness toward her career and fans. Just my own observation an opinion though :)

    • @CutiePatutie_SmookiePookieBear
      @CutiePatutie_SmookiePookieBear Год назад +134

      Doja's a weird lady

    • @CutiePatutie_SmookiePookieBear
      @CutiePatutie_SmookiePookieBear Год назад +81

      Doja cat has actually responded to aba and preach about that situation, she said she's not into the race play.

    • @emi-eg9bu
      @emi-eg9bu Год назад +2

      This

    • @gingerdog8203
      @gingerdog8203 Год назад +29

      The chat room thing had no proof of being related to race at all.

  • @canigetawater
    @canigetawater Год назад +63

    I was done with her after the Paraguay situation. Her fans were being incredibly racist and celebrating the deaths that occured that night, all because the fans in Paraguay were disappointed with not seeing her.
    Id be disappointed too if i spent hella money to see a bunch of artists, and it stormed so hard that people died. Musicians stayed to help by singing, handing out water, dispersing blankets and Doja.. tweeted that none of her fans were at the airport for her.
    Im pretty sure it was just a misunderstanding, but her IMMEDIATE knee-jerk reaction is anger and INTENTIONALLY trying to hurt people. Of course she said she was qutting again and obviously she wasnt. Its just irritating seeing her never grow and learn as a grown ass woman. Hope it happens for her tho

    • @KarolineThePagan
      @KarolineThePagan Год назад

      Is this true?

    • @p3rsianb4by
      @p3rsianb4by Год назад +7

      @@KarolineThePagan yes! She liked a racist tweet too which said something like Paraguayans can’t even afford food let alone a concert…

  • @anywayscolette
    @anywayscolette Год назад +807

    also, comparing her to male celebs who are s. assaulters is CRAZY. shes not anywhere near that level but she should treat her fans like humans lol its just super hurtful to see

    • @lc4404
      @lc4404 Год назад +78

      Yup that was a wild deflection. Two wrongs don't make a right. If Doja Cat has an issue with her fans she should just let her management team handle her social media. She purposely mistreat her fans because she gets off off it and things because she's a celebrity she'll be eventually forgiven.

    • @alinashirinian2485
      @alinashirinian2485 Год назад +76

      Salem wasn't comparing Doja to these creeps though, she was comparing how people reacted to them. The point was that some people act more outraged about Doja being shitty than these men committing crimes. (not a native speaker but I hope I got the point across)

    • @O_Ciel_Phant0mhive
      @O_Ciel_Phant0mhive Год назад +4

      Yea lol like there is a scale of bad people. It’s never just your typical serial killer or pedo -

    • @O_Ciel_Phant0mhive
      @O_Ciel_Phant0mhive Год назад +4

      @@alinashirinian2485makes sense. But still. It’s important to see where she messed up and actually needs to do something about it

    • @biguattipoptropica
      @biguattipoptropica Год назад +2

      @@alinashirinian2485these aren’t necessarily the same groups of people and the differences in those groups and double standards needs to be addressed separately or its still deflection.

  • @O_Ciel_Phant0mhive
    @O_Ciel_Phant0mhive Год назад +16

    I’m so glad these comments can see that Doja actually crossed the line here. She’s just straight up vile. No sugarcoating it

  • @LLCoolJ_25
    @LLCoolJ_25 Год назад +129

    Idc what her purpose is for all of this…she’s annoying ash and seeks attention constantly. Also, someone made a good point here. It doesn’t really seem like you can define this as parasocial relationship, since it’s not one sided. She imho, encourages this behavior from her fans and then complains. Like girl, they’re not the only ones that need boundaries. The way some people think she’s so quirky and genuine bc she claps back. I do understand she is under pressure and people are critical. Her behavior is still trash. There are definitely worse people, but I’m tired of her rudeness getting a pass. If I did that to people, I’d get my ass choked out.

  • @F4nt4sia
    @F4nt4sia Год назад +18

    Tbh I was never hurt by this because I can separate the music and the artist. I do also sympathize with Doja to a certain extent because people have always been incredibly skeptical about her. While some of her actions haven’t been exactly great I’ll still be streaming her music. (Also side note I have the same necklace as you Salem lol. I also LOVE the background.)

  • @camillefaith2005
    @camillefaith2005 Год назад +2337

    She really doing all this to make music that sounds indistinguishable from her previous 3 albums. 💀

    • @_salemtovar_
      @_salemtovar_  Год назад +850

      true lmao. i really thought she was gonna switch it up after doing too much on threads XD

    • @suspiciousstar7547
      @suspiciousstar7547 Год назад +243

      Imagine if Taylor did the same thing before she released '1989' or 'Reputation' 😭. Like how are you gonna treat the people who loved your work like trash but also want those same people to listen to your new stuff?

    • @camillefaith2005
      @camillefaith2005 Год назад +189

      @@_salemtovar_ Her last song sounds like it could be from Planet Her.

    • @camillefaith2005
      @camillefaith2005 Год назад +193

      @@suspiciousstar7547 Taylor is a prime example of how to treat your fanbase. Whether you love her or hate her, her fans are pride and joy and it's so clear to see how much she does specifically for her fans.

    • @suspiciousstar7547
      @suspiciousstar7547 Год назад +76

      @@camillefaith2005 Agreed. Besides her talent and skills, I think the reason she's at the spot she's at is partially due to her fanbase and the way she treats them. I surely wouldn't be as much as a fan if she acted like Ms. Doja over here. Man, she could have been something great in the hip hop world until she self-sabotaged herself.

  • @mekrystle
    @mekrystle Год назад +7

    The parasocial aspect gets complicated. It's definitely more than just wanting to be 'loved' by Doja; fans connect deeply to music to escape or cope with their own lives. So for Doja to then go on and basically insult the songs she's created and say it's pop garbage, is another eay of her trashing her own fans deeply when they take the connection to her music personally. Which is the whole purpse of creating various forms of art in the first place.

  • @TinyGhosty
    @TinyGhosty Год назад +419

    Stupidity is not a sign of youth. Stupidity is a sign of ignorance, often willful ignorance, and immaturity. It is so weird that "youth" is simultaneously highly coveted and intensely demeaned in our society. Ignorance and immaturity might be more common in youth, but these things very much exist in great numbers in every age demographic. It is unfounded to suggest that stupidity is something that exists primarily in "youths" which is a careless generalization of people. Which is ironic because generalizing an entire group of people is in itself an ignorant and immature thing to do.

    • @NathanDuabanTheSonicEnthusiast
      @NathanDuabanTheSonicEnthusiast Год назад +34

      Which is very dumb to say in the first place and stupidity isn't just limited to Gen Z, it's literally everyone who has that capability to be that way 🤷🏻‍♂️

    • @ily-babybink
      @ily-babybink Год назад +4

      true. im very young (15) but ive been told im very mature and wise for my age. and people mostly act surprised because im so young and look 13

    • @yoyodre
      @yoyodre Год назад +5

      I think when people say that they are using stupidity interchangably with ignorant in a demeaning way. But those don't mean the same thing.
      Young people don't know things because they are young and lack experience, not because they are dumb. And lots of older people are ignorant by choice, which is worse.

  • @21stcenturyninja64
    @21stcenturyninja64 10 месяцев назад +2

    I heard a saying once and I really think it rings true,
    Fame is an obscure thing because everyone wants it but no one knows what to do with it.
    It's gotta make you go insane or something

  • @aimeenunez9440
    @aimeenunez9440 Год назад +66

    Always a good day when Salem post

  • @beans222uwu
    @beans222uwu Год назад +13

    🦆 you make a lot of really good points and your theory of why she may be acting this way is a damn good one. I think she’s also damn tired of trying to please everyone and has come to a conclusion that no one actually likes her for who she is. She really does seem done with it all.

  • @luxgh
    @luxgh Год назад +557

    "I dont give an f about what y'all think" proceeds to give an f about what people think and it's not just "thinking", it's harmful actions made by her man and she's mad cus people are warning her about it.
    I dont doubt someone is going to come up with some crazy theory about how she's was being manipulated if this relationship of hers reaches an end.

    • @suspiciousstar7547
      @suspiciousstar7547 Год назад +76

      Honestly though. She's telling everyone she doesn't care what they think and that they should touch grass while PROCEEDING to be chronically online to complain about her fans and what they have to say about her behavior.

    • @reneealicia
      @reneealicia Год назад +10

      @@suspiciousstar7547 exactly!

    • @ilmb-mo5es
      @ilmb-mo5es Год назад +1

      Righttt

    • @alkahinat4558
      @alkahinat4558 Год назад +6

      That’s definitely probably coming next
      ‘Super predator and manipulator Jay Cyrus, coerced Doja into a relationship, causing her to’ blah blah blah
      The type of lashing out she’s doing is VERY reminiscent of a woman who is being told the truth about her man and clings to the relationship harder, out of defiance
      He seems like a very questionable choice and people will comment, she’s in the public eye
      Like what’s hard for her to get here?

    • @middleeasternforhire8985
      @middleeasternforhire8985 Год назад +1

      Bringback the time celebs were a bit more humble and respectful to fans and HAD to keep up appearances

  • @faiyazedits4910
    @faiyazedits4910 Год назад +15

    She NEVER got paid to do problematic things on tinychat. She said that she was always in there talking to people and sometimes problematic people would pop up but they would get banned or sometimes she would ban them.

    • @faiyazedits4910
      @faiyazedits4910 Год назад +3

      Also she says that she has not been in a room with Dr Luke in YEARS and she hasn’t worked with him in YEARS but he continues to put his name on her work….

  • @Xxxvidsdg
    @Xxxvidsdg Год назад +146

    Honestly although one side of me dose understand where she’s going with the whole parasocial thing especially since it’s more common than ever. The other side can’t really take her seriously when she’s complaining that people are unfollowing her on instagram complaining of a fandom name and blocking victims of her boyfriend when they speak up. It just makes her look like someone who is chronically online.

    • @Blue.1889
      @Blue.1889 Год назад +1

      She was in a Tiny chat with racists even when people knew who she was. She definitely is chronically online

  • @amieebrydges1676
    @amieebrydges1676 Год назад +5

    I love the way you mix clips and b-roll together (I’m guessing this is the correct term) it’s always so captivating and you paint such a great picture on the topic before diving in deeper.

  • @studdedleatherlace
    @studdedleatherlace Год назад +647

    4:20 Doja Cat is in no way a victim.
    The victims here are her fans and the people her nasty bf hurt. It's not "iconic" for anyone to be that way, male, female, or otherwise.

    • @LavenderViolet00
      @LavenderViolet00 Год назад +65

      💯 Like I understand setting up boundaries as a celeb or even a human but Doja is wrong here. Why is Salem standing up for this??

    • @O_Ciel_Phant0mhive
      @O_Ciel_Phant0mhive Год назад +4

      Spilling the real truth here.

    • @O_Ciel_Phant0mhive
      @O_Ciel_Phant0mhive Год назад +44

      @@LavenderViolet00same. I’m so confused. I stopped watching the video when I saw “on defense “. Seemed like a joke to me until I saw this comment

    • @biguattipoptropica
      @biguattipoptropica Год назад +1

      @@LavenderViolet00because if there are guiding ethics for celebrities, influencers can be held to the same standards and criticized for failing to reach them. A lot of influencers and celebrities see being famous as freedom from consequences of all but serious crimes.

    • @kamiiu
      @kamiiu Год назад

      facts

  • @d011p4rtz
    @d011p4rtz Год назад +27

    I don't care if your male or female or whatever; a bad attitude is a bad attitude and aiming it at fans that actually love you?...natural consequences............

  • @anywayscolette
    @anywayscolette Год назад +862

    i don't care if there are worse male celebs. doja did a lot of wrong things. she used the f word against gay ppl multiple times. she hurt a lot of fans who show her nothing but support. she HERSELF chose a name for her fans on twitter, then she got mad at them for using the word 'kitten'. she acts like a child.

    • @suspiciousstar7547
      @suspiciousstar7547 Год назад +228

      @@theseventrials Internalized homophobia exists.

    • @anywayscolette
      @anywayscolette Год назад +173

      @@theseventrials tweets were super hateful. nothing to do with her being bisexual

    • @LavenderViolet00
      @LavenderViolet00 Год назад +36

      I agree! I don't get why Salem is standing up for her and never mentioned this.

    • @alkahinat4558
      @alkahinat4558 Год назад +9

      She said the f word?! Lawd

    • @atinybruh
      @atinybruh Год назад +17

      ​@@suspiciousstar7547i thought lgbt people can use the f word,

  • @Nimoes_archive
    @Nimoes_archive Год назад +6

    I think you covered this so well, you really touched on a lot of bases when talking about fame and navigating para-social relationships.

  • @anywayscolette
    @anywayscolette Год назад +758

    girll. only thing she needed to do was to treat her fans like NORMAL PEOPLE. lets not pretend that this is all sexism and stuff, something is clearly wrong with her .

    • @Twat_Dirt
      @Twat_Dirt Год назад +185

      If she’s willing to date a guy like that and hang out in those chat rooms, I doubt she’d care about the sexism.

    • @gingerdog8203
      @gingerdog8203 Год назад +1

      ​@@Twat_Dirtagain, those chat rooms weren't racist ones. There was no proof of that.

    • @LavenderViolet00
      @LavenderViolet00 Год назад +92

      I'm glad someone said it! Celebs setting up boundaries are fine but she was wrong.

    • @vainpiers
      @vainpiers Год назад +41

      Like setting boundaries with fans would be withholding personal information, taking a step back from social media and maybe making a statement with a PR team to establish boundaries. You have a PR team use them.

    • @MrPenetroso
      @MrPenetroso Год назад +10

      Look at Kesha, she didn't treat her fans badly just because she was with her previous brand. I get that Doja has alot of pent up feelings, but the way she is dealing with it is not good.

  • @gerardanbilliejoefan
    @gerardanbilliejoefan Год назад +33

    I disagree with this one. I don’t really care who others did or did not. She was rude. Is not like her fans where asking her to kiss wherever the walked. Literally insulting her fans and calling them stupid is not a way of “I’m putting boundaries with my fans”. It’s just being entitled and rude.
    Let’s not pretend they deserve more forgiving because of the industry they are. All systems are corrupt and sexist. And we don’t go our way to hurt people to put “boundaries”.

  • @anywayscolette
    @anywayscolette Год назад +155

    nobody has to excuse her immature behaviour... and slurs she used as well

  • @yohann3825
    @yohann3825 Год назад +27

    Tbh her deflecting from all the controversies that started this ( her chat room days, racism and CA, mocking Amber heart’s testimony’s,and bf being a p3do and r@p1st and the victims telling her about it but her blocking them) is my real issue. Toxic parasocial relationships aside she’s been toxic from the beginning during her tour in South America. And the fans supporting her when she’s protecting and acting like her actions don’t have ramifications are only part of the problem.

    • @NeloBladeOfRanni
      @NeloBladeOfRanni Год назад +3

      I mean amber heated testimony should be mocked considering it was entirely lies lmao

    • @WinxMagicalHero
      @WinxMagicalHero 5 месяцев назад

      Also the t-shirt with that Alt-right weirdo’s face on it

  • @RaKeisu
    @RaKeisu Год назад +52

    I did post a comment about being disappointed, but Salem, you brought up some good points: maybe, she don't wanna deal with the industry anymore. And Dr. Luke, especially. It kind of make me have a little bit more hope with her...
    But, I will be giving her the side-eye about her current bf though. Lol.

  • @chane11ee7
    @chane11ee7 Год назад +42

    This is the most empathetic Doja take I’ve watched, while still holding her accountable for her wrongdoings.

  • @zofia3441
    @zofia3441 Год назад +82

    IM SO HAPPY YOU MADE THIS VIDEO IVE HAD SUCH MIXED FEELINGS!! LOVE YOU XOXO

  • @katerinakate3167
    @katerinakate3167 Год назад +14

    I don't care for Doja Cat and the drama but i just love watching Salem talk the "celebrity drama" talk 🦆🥰

  • @pauline_f328
    @pauline_f328 Год назад +45

    It was out of context, but a part of me wonders whether that one fan asking for her to tell them she loved them wasn't more of a thing of "people recently think you hate you fans, so let me offer you an opportunity to show it's not actually the case, that you just hate the people who are hating on you and not the rest" or something. I may be totally wrong, but that was my first assumption, considering all that had been going on. If they were actually asking to just hear it though, yeah that's a tad concerning :/

  • @oversober3713
    @oversober3713 Год назад +6

    People never talk about the Paraguay situation. And that was honestly the time where I couldn't even listen to her music anymore.
    Now, I don't hate her. I just feel more indifferent about her than before.

  • @-Loathing_Lemonade-
    @-Loathing_Lemonade- Год назад +19

    Ngl this is a really good take, and more or less documents on the issue fairly maturely. (love your content sm ❤)

  • @jasminsoutlet6938
    @jasminsoutlet6938 Год назад +3

    Thank you for touching on this topic Salem!! ❤❤

  • @emily-grace6246
    @emily-grace6246 Год назад +82

    Honestly, I hate hate hate that people with bad attitudes make it far, but at the same time, most of them are so sneaky about it that her blunt rudeness is ALMOST a breath of fresh air
    Edit: oh my goodness, the Dr. Luc stuff makes SO much sense to me 🦆🐥

  • @DouglasBurton
    @DouglasBurton Год назад +2

    Yeah I think you nailed it. I've already assumed she's been trying to push fans away. I feel like it was like 3 years ago after some fans staked out the hotel she was staying at, then she came right out and said she's done with the music industry and doesn't want fans anymore.
    I'm sure she's locked into some situation she can't escape and her internet persona is her way lash out that so far doesn't get her in trouble.

  • @suspiciousstar7547
    @suspiciousstar7547 Год назад +55

    For a second I thought the title said "The Doja Cat Dilemma: When Authenticity Kills The Cat" as a reference to the idiom and her career 😂.

    • @_salemtovar_
      @_salemtovar_  Год назад +26

      omgggg that's so smart, now im thinking of changing my title haha!

    • @suspiciousstar7547
      @suspiciousstar7547 Год назад +4

      @@_salemtovar_ You don't have to but you can if you wanna.

  • @oochieWalliWalli
    @oochieWalliWalli Год назад +4

    🦆 as a doja cat fan with mixed feelings, but who also continues to have compassion for her as a real person and artist, I felt that you're essay was: a tricky topic intelligently delivered 💯 keep up the great work, so long as it makes you happy (because if that changes, you have a right to stop too and focus on your wellbeing, just like the rest of us ❤).

  • @elleglover2382
    @elleglover2382 Год назад +13

    I feel like such an outlier regarding Doja. I respect her a lot a) because I love her music, and now b) she is setting barriers for herself. Though she has done it in a crass way, it's clearly the only way people have listened. It's always seemed to me that she disliked being in the lime light and she has just had enough. I don't know, just let her breathe, it's not that deep. Anyhow, I love your videos, Salem, and I always look forward to them ❤

  • @MelissaGarcia-ro6uq
    @MelissaGarcia-ro6uq Год назад +1

    everything Salem says is just facts like i couldn’t have said it better myself.

    • @MelissaGarcia-ro6uq
      @MelissaGarcia-ro6uq Год назад

      i feel like doja is a lil glued to her phone too and it’s prolly the reason she’s feeling a bit alienated from her fans, like she might’ve just been too obsessed with reading peoples comments on everything, that she’s started getting mad and resentful.. now she’s unable to take their words of worry as warnings and more as hate. i feel like the industry is really easy to start to hate your followers vs be thankful for them bc you become a lil too entangled in the spotlight, i know a lot of other stars prefer to keep their lives private and i think that’s super healthy for them to continue actually enjoying their jobs and the community of people who are kind of obsessed with them. i really do think she’s had enough and now that she’s in a pickle it just become too much for her and she’s kinda wanting to run away and forget about everything in the past but i don’t think these types of things are good to forget about if you ever want to learn from them.

  • @who__cares__
    @who__cares__ Год назад +332

    You also forgot to mention how she harassed and blocked her bf's SA victims
    19:33 Also yes your partners actions have everything to do with you since you are with them, thats a f-ed up mentality you have right there, theres nothing "too far" about it
    If you are with someone and know they are a shitty person/done shitty things then its guilty by association and clearly means you are also a crappy person if you are okay with letting that kind of stuff slide
    Again it isnt too far when their relationships reflect them as a person like come onnn please stop being so naive and ignorant 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

    • @lovelylesbian5135
      @lovelylesbian5135 Год назад +132

      Exactly. Like people cannot call themselves an ally if they actively are dating racists, homophobes, transphobes etc. You are who you keep company

    • @laladoglady
      @laladoglady Год назад +54

      It says a lot about a person that’s for sure. Lack of integrity comes to mind and it’s bs.

    • @AnahíViturino
      @AnahíViturino Год назад +23

      Exactly! That is disgusting.

    • @cr4ck3r58
      @cr4ck3r58 Год назад +44

      I don’t think that’s what she meant to say at 19:33, I think she was trying to say that what your partner has done in the past doesn’t reflect on your as a person, BUT it does start to mean something if that they’ve done continues and you don’t do anything about it. It also depends on how you react to the wrongs your partner had committed and Salem talks about that a bit. I think she might’ve rushed this vid.
      **edit: by rushed, I mean she should have elaborated on what she meant by that

    • @cr4ck3r58
      @cr4ck3r58 Год назад +18

      Don’t assume her to be naive and ignorant from that one comment :(

  • @faeriefunky
    @faeriefunky Год назад +3

    I knew of her before " moo" I listened to her wayyyy wayyy back. She was happier being a "small" artist. Artist are gonna change and develop different art. But she wasn't lying saying it was a cash grab. I know " say so" wasn't her best work. And she knows it too. She's over it but she should be. It's healthy to be.

  • @watchcloudspassmeby
    @watchcloudspassmeby Год назад +35

    I really do think that she’s doing all of this on purpose to get people to unfollow her and hate her. I think the pressure is too much and it’s not fun and games like her troll/meme music of the past that she could manage by herself. I can’t imagine what it’s like having so many eyes on you after doing something for fun as a hobby in your bedroom. I think you’re right, she’s missing that, but is at a place where she can never go back to that. I hadn’t thought about the Dr. Luke/attempting to break her contract thing though. I always assumed her actions were to scare off people and/or push them away by causing them to hate her, that’s really great insight. I didn’t really think that anything deeper was going on, until she started dating this new guy. Now I’m torn. Because that could be a bit of self harm, but also it could be entirely staged. Who knows. All I know is that I saw a fan say something like “wow, Doja’s going to become an alternative artist now, I can’t wait to hear new stuff” and while I listen to her and like her, I pretty much exclusively listen to alternative music, and I’m perhaps most disappointed that she’s not actually trying anything different 😅 Call your fanbase stupid and your old (strong, imo!) work “cash grabs” but doing nothing to change that other than aesthetically is wild to me lol. All I know is she would absolutely be happier if she threw her phone into the damn ocean and wasn’t as chronically online and subjecting herself to constant insanity online. Hoping she realizes this and takes a hammer to her phone on Instagram live and when the hammer cracks down directly on the camera and the feed cuts off, she can be at peace lol

    • @spOOkytimes
      @spOOkytimes Год назад +4

      Depression and other mental issues can cause someone to want/try to self-destruct

    • @watchcloudspassmeby
      @watchcloudspassmeby Год назад +1

      @@spOOkytimes Totally agree! Really hope that’s not what’s happening here, but who knows 😬

    • @zhanetubbs7773
      @zhanetubbs7773 Год назад +4

      I was looking for someone else to point this out. I've been fan of Doja since 2013, and she always did well as the quirky, low-key artist that interacted casually with her fans. Now since she's been hammered with fame and a new fan base, I feel like she's trying to alienate everyone and go back to virtually being a nobody. Even this new questionable relationship appears to serve that purpose. She wants to be canceled so bad.

    • @watchcloudspassmeby
      @watchcloudspassmeby Год назад

      @@zhanetubbs7773 Exactly!

  • @ratking927
    @ratking927 Год назад +19

    People don’t realize she’s working with the man who rped Kesha. Her behavior seems very similar to how some people cope with being violated.

  • @SaraAguilar14
    @SaraAguilar14 Год назад +16

    i do agree in not askin a friend from doja, but you *can* expect her to be nice if you are an average fan interacting with her
    pd: love your vids btw! happy anniversary🎉

  • @miyakoakita2529
    @miyakoakita2529 Год назад +3

    🦆
    I’m not into social media. I’ve never been a fan of “idols” or idolizing anyone really. I love Doja’s music. I’m excited to see her grow as an artist. No one is faultless and no one is truly good. People make mistakes and whether they own up to it or not is NOT the biggest deal. I think that as long as they learn from their experiences, that’s what matters. Continuous growth.
    I don’t envy her fame and I just hope she finds peace and internal love- as I hope for everyone. ♥️ life’s hard enough.

  • @bandonkadonk
    @bandonkadonk Год назад +76

    i was never weirded out by doja, even with the whole parasocial relationship, what was weird is how she dates that creepy ass man, that kind of made me like her less

  • @iammahaut
    @iammahaut Год назад +3

    🦆 always love your videos, it’s amazing how empathetic and humble your views are on any subject you bring up here ❤️

  • @ki2348
    @ki2348 Год назад +7

    hell yeah im looking forward to seeing salem's take on this!

  • @corey6279
    @corey6279 Год назад +3

    Respect goes both ways. You get what you give...

  • @lov3willtearusapart
    @lov3willtearusapart Год назад +7

    YAY A NEW SALEM UPLOAD!

  • @marianabernardes8931
    @marianabernardes8931 Год назад +1

    GIRLLLLLL I always love your videos, always agree wholeheartedly with every single point you make but this THISSSS!!!!!! You're the light at the end of the tunnel because through all the internet I haven't seen a single person stating the same arguments you did which I agree one by one! Wow. I was starting to feel like I was crazy but yeah thanks Salem! So insightful as always! 🖤🌟

  • @earwig763
    @earwig763 Год назад +2

    you literally put into words exactly what i’ve been trying to say about her this whole time

  • @shaniselovesabundantly
    @shaniselovesabundantly Год назад +4

    I’ve been waiting for this one TURN IT UP

  • @The_Bean
    @The_Bean Год назад +5

    I get why people are upset, because fans made her platform. I also get where she's coming from, parasocial relationships have this expectation of genuine love which isn't realistic. Excited to see your essay

    • @xGrifo
      @xGrifo Год назад +9

      people are also upset she’s racist, homophobic, harassed and blocked her BOYFRIENDS sa victims, etc etc. her not loving her fans is last in the reasons her career is blowing up

  • @bevishhh
    @bevishhh Год назад +5

    I always enjoy your purrrrrrspectives 🐈‍⬛️

  • @rachelp.4182
    @rachelp.4182 Год назад +54

    I stopped following her after she got mad at that Plastic Surgery Lori lady and started calling her Jack Skellington and a bunch of really hateful things and then said that she got no plastic surgery and she just looks different because of Taco Bell and depression.

    • @vqlora6578
      @vqlora6578 Год назад +5

      Same i stopped there too

    • @xiopaovid1215
      @xiopaovid1215 Год назад +16

      I stopped after how she treated fans in Paraguay. Not ok.

    • @emi-eg9bu
      @emi-eg9bu Год назад +12

      ive been saying this for the longest time. how people sided with her on that situation always baffled me. she was so mean to that lady and her fans attacked her VICIOUSLY i truly felt awful for her lmao

  • @xLilithSupernaturalx
    @xLilithSupernaturalx Год назад +8

    Your eye make-up is so pretty! ❤

  • @shaunasugar
    @shaunasugar 9 месяцев назад +3

    I talked about this with my sister who disagreed with me, but I personally think Doja is just behaving in the wrong ways. There’s no need to take her discomforts in life out on her fans. And not only that, but she doesn’t have to diss her own music (re: Hot Pink) and 💩 on it. She should own it and just state that it is not a reflection of the kind of artist she is now. I lost a lot of respect for Doja when she crapped on her old music. I respect change, but what I do not respect is arrogance and condescension. Edit: I wanted to add that Doja shaving her head made me flashback to 2007 Britney. Sometimes the stress of fame does change people but Britney’s situation was still so different and imo much more understandable.

  • @Brushbell
    @Brushbell Год назад +53

    aside from the issues with racism regarding Doja, I really feel like this is the same as Brittany shaving her head and Miley Cyrus doing intentionally bad music/over sexual performances. maybe she’s trying to “k*ll off” her “character”

  • @heiginn
    @heiginn Год назад +4

    You always deliver queen 👑❤

  • @maridi5328
    @maridi5328 Год назад +5

    Oh hells yeah I was waiting for this 😊
    Love you Salem

  • @Phillyhippie215
    @Phillyhippie215 Год назад +3

    I love what she’s doing. It’s necessary. People on here are fucking insanely disrespectful. She’s throwing back what this culture has become so many ppl on social media are narcissistic, toxic, bullies and abusers hiding behind keys.
    I see her as the modern grace jones. She doesn’t give af and will clap right back.

  • @496brit
    @496brit Год назад +5

    🦆 well said I agree Doja is setting boundaries that are necessary and perhaps her approach doesn’t suit some and could use a bit more tact but we have bigger problems with male entertainers and ppl need to get passionate/wrapped up in more important issues. Would love to hear your take on the influence parasocial relationships have in K-pop those poor men and women can’t even have regular relationships due to their toxic fandom.

  • @tokyoserendipity_
    @tokyoserendipity_ Год назад +11

    Her new song seems to be doing well so I don't think she's gonna like say something that is contradictory to her recent behaviour . I believe fans should just reflect on themselves and reflect on the feels that her actions have brought and see whether they're reacting way too emotional for a person they don't even really know. It's gonna hopefully make people see that stanning someone you don't know that hard isn't normal or healthy.

  • @SRHisntSilent
    @SRHisntSilent Год назад +31

    Are you defending her? **listens because it's you**
    Ok, i'm glad you didn't defend Doja defensive and unacceptable reaction to fans who expressed their traumatic experiences with her current predatory partner.
    I was on her side til she started enabling that predator bf jcyrus and blocking his victims.

  • @BrookieCookie317
    @BrookieCookie317 Год назад +3

    Doja Cat reminds me of myself, esp in my 20s, way too concerned with being authentic to the point of stupidity, making life 10x more difficult, and self-sabotage

  • @plantishfellow
    @plantishfellow Год назад +4

    I like her new aesthetic/music style, it'll be cool to see where she goes with it

  • @dawnmoney4187
    @dawnmoney4187 11 месяцев назад +2

    Salem, you always manage to make me laugh even when you're not even trying to be funny. Idk why but when you said waterrrr and rolled the "r", I laughed so hard. Lol you're just naturally funny, and I love that. It's the people that try too hard to be funny that are never funny. So, I just wanted to say thank you for making me laugh. And thank you for being you. 😊

  • @Azuli4
    @Azuli4 Год назад +3

    i find the whole situation to be complicated because as much as we like to think that having a few followers on instagram makes us feel like marylin monroe or doja, we're not and we probably won't know how that feels like. for your personal life to be judged DAILY by people you dont know AND THEN BEING EXPECTED TO STILL BE KIND??? lets be honest you won't be able to know who is roasting your egghead and who is appreciating it from the million people who are following you. until doja is free enough to tell us about whats going with her , lets just be patient.

  • @CaulkMongler
    @CaulkMongler Год назад +2

    As someone who’s perpetually the Devil’s Advocate ™, I want to say I kinda get a little bit of where she’s at mentally. There reaches a point where you get so fed up with TOO much “love”, too much hate, too much input on what you should/nt do, you end up lashing out and pushing *everyone* away because all you want is just silence… not saying it’s excusable, just that I can see a *little* bit of what’s happening. And of course I’ll never know unless I talked to her. I wish her the best.

  • @sara_jillzi
    @sara_jillzi Год назад +7

    She is just mad because of all the stuff about her boyfriend. She was always comfortable with parasocial relationships she did countless lives she always loved to interract with her fans, she said that she loved her fans countless times. She draws the line when it comes to her love life ( ex : she was mad at Noah bacause he leaked something regarding her love life )

  • @igf_d4189
    @igf_d4189 Год назад +8

    Also that whole untasteful response to Lorry Hill discussing potential plastic surgery lol... like every response doja makes just makes her come across as more immature and childish, instead of being the bigger person and ignoring haters..

  • @magadeloi
    @magadeloi Год назад +3

    Her actions in the context of her birth chart is interesting. Lots of big drama going there: coming up on her Saturn return in a night chart and an 11th house Venus retrograde with her midheaven and 12/6th house malefic oppositions and eclipses the past year near her debilitated Venus whom she’s a native of.

  • @egroover9449
    @egroover9449 Год назад

    I really appreciate your perspective on the whole issue. It's just the nature of parasocial relationships, and I can't imagine what it must be like to experience the level of online harassment that Doja has. Of course it doesn't make it okay for her to lash out, but at the same time I can sympathize. Fame is wild and does crazy things to people

  • @charlottecox6586
    @charlottecox6586 10 месяцев назад +4

    Seen a few of your vids now and your really well rounded, respectful and funny, really good job xx

  • @monus782
    @monus782 11 месяцев назад +1

    The parasocial relationship stuff is probably one reason I really believe in the “never meet your heroes” phrase and just admire the celebrities I like from afar, the waifus stuff is probably the most extreme form of that and it’s mostly with fictional characters and I was reminded of that through the video.

  • @Redsonja77
    @Redsonja77 Год назад +5

    🦆 Thank you for your video, I didn't know about the context bc I'm not a Doja Cat follower, but I felt bad for her followers... now thanks to your wonderful work, I have a better understanding of this awful situation. Let's hope everything works out at the end...