is falling in Love a choice? vlog

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  • Опубликовано: 28 дек 2024

Комментарии • 120

  • @emmacollett2629
    @emmacollett2629 Месяц назад +81

    I think falling in love is involuntary. Staying in love is a choice.

  • @evaathanasiou9152
    @evaathanasiou9152 Месяц назад +70

    I happened to hung out with an old lover recently and our talk has really made me wonder about love. He was telling me how deeply in love he was with me when I decided to end things and I clealry remember not being in love with him. I firmly believe it was my choice. I loved him as a person and we had so much fun but the circumstances, his personality and some hurtful things he put me through gave me no other choice but to not fall in love. I believe it was choice, I didn't feel it was safe to give him my heart and I didn't. To love and to give love is a constant choice, yes it can be more natural to some people but it's still a choice. I believe that we choose our paths even in love, we may not want to take responsibility for it, especially if it ends poorly, but I believe it's mainly choice.

    • @thepurplepalace85
      @thepurplepalace85  Месяц назад +4

      thanks so much for sharing!

    • @idab6864
      @idab6864 Месяц назад +1

      I relate to this entirely. But, I was in love once before the lover who put me through trouble. And despite being dumped by that first love, despite waking up every single day and saying "I choose not to care" I am irrevocably feeling love for this man, for eternity I guess. :/

    • @milikoshki
      @milikoshki Месяц назад +3

      @@idab6864 but i feel like you can't choose to NOT be in love once it's happened, which sucks when you're hurting! But you can't just remove that from your heart. It's more like before it happens, you stand on a precipice where you chose to jump in or not.

    • @idab6864
      @idab6864 Месяц назад

      @milikoshki torturous

  • @ISpyWithMyLittleEye
    @ISpyWithMyLittleEye Месяц назад +9

    You can change your attractions. I was a people pleaser and attracted to narcissistic type personalities. I've been single for 5 years now and working on myself. I now find myself attracted to very wholesome men that are very nurturing and empathetic. Our attachment styles have a lot to do with our attractions.

  • @Tere94lp
    @Tere94lp Месяц назад +37

    that first look is so soft-grunge-tumblr coded omg

  • @annawhiteley3128
    @annawhiteley3128 Месяц назад +35

    not falling....RISING in love. That's a conscious decision.

  • @IzzyOnTheMove
    @IzzyOnTheMove 23 дня назад +3

    What an interesting and relevant discussion. I'm 47 (at least my body is LOL), fresh out of an 11 year marriage with the wrong guy. The past 21 years I've been single for 3 weeks total, in 3 long term relationships back to back. The first one, 7 years with an alcoholic was very tumultuous, he really loved me but it was very toxic. I ended it. The next one 3 years was a lot healthier, very nice and no drama but the man was older and after 3 years it sort of fizzled out. Then in 2012 I met this 18 year old kid who played the banjitar and was a dreamboat physically - handsome, wore a suit, charming etc. I should have realized it was an infatuation, not love, and we were not compatible. We had different goals and needs... it never really worked. I wish I had ended things sooner. Now I am dating again and it will be a CHOICE. Of course the spark and attraction HAS to be there, it can't be only a logical decision but gone are the days of romanticizing the pain and suffering. Your partner should be supportive, respectful and truthful at all times. Took me decades to learn that ❤

  • @user-pj7xz5ex5v
    @user-pj7xz5ex5v Месяц назад +2

    I think falling in love isn’t a choice but letting someone love you, letting yourself love them, staying in love, fighting to stay in love, that’s a choice.

  • @collagecult
    @collagecult Месяц назад +12

    For me it just *happens*. There need to be certain traits in place for the possibility of love to happen, but there also is that undeniable, inexplicable Soul connection that you just have with someone. And it can be with friends too :)

  • @mehdikaveh9138
    @mehdikaveh9138 Месяц назад +13

    Yes Shayna I've been thinking about this all my life and I kind of agree with you. Cause at some point you don't let yourself go further in a relationship when you think to yourself this is not the person I wanna fall in love with.But at the same time I can see why people say you cannot choose.because they're feeling high levels of attraction towards that person and they wanna fall in love

  • @Elena-Studio
    @Elena-Studio Месяц назад +1

    Being in love and actually loving someone are two different things. Being in love are endorphins, it's the high, but loving someone is a constant. Making a relationship work isn't something that just happens, is what I'm learning (I'm 35). Two people have to make the choice they want to be together, but you still need to actually enjoy the person's company. Something that someone said to me was: "So many people are together, but it's not because they actually like each other". I think it takes two special kinds of people who match each others energy to still have that kind of mischievous, childlike play with each other.

  • @britt-sen
    @britt-sen Месяц назад +12

    Its quite easy to get along with someone really well, but its an conscious decision to bring down your wall to see where it goes, to then love and commit. You make the choice on how you want to live and who you want live with.

    • @Elena-Studio
      @Elena-Studio Месяц назад

      I would disagree that "it's quite easy to get along with someone really well" because then why are there so many self-help relationship books?

    • @britt-sen
      @britt-sen 29 дней назад

      ​@@Elena-Studio My comment is not meaning to lump everyone together. but i think when youve reached a point where youre in a good place with yourself, you will find it will get easier in having discernment.

  • @maireadcorry5182
    @maireadcorry5182 Месяц назад +16

    Your look at the moment is reminding me of early 90s Courtney Love, absolutely iconic (purely aesthetic resemblance, of course)

  • @elliehosk
    @elliehosk Месяц назад +8

    A kid on my street set up a lemonade stand today. I watched him from a crack in the shower curtains that I have installed in my bedroom (the fabric makes it easier to wipe away the mould). Anyway. I watched as a man, about 50 and carrying 2 litres of cherryade under each arm, passed the stand. "Do you want any lemonade?" the kid asked. "I tend to need things, not want them," the guy replied. "Do you need any lemonade?" the kid asked. And the guy looked down at his cherryades, said no, and then continued down the street.
    The kid shouted after him and asked him what he did need. And the guy stopped in his tracks, looked back, and whimpered "For life to be easier. And less devastating."

    • @lepi7921
      @lepi7921 28 дней назад

      BRUH chile its just a kid selling lemonade

  • @theboomonmizar5697
    @theboomonmizar5697 Месяц назад +2

    LOVE LOVE LOVE this "little bit of everything" video! Thank you for taking the time to read our comments and for explaining your rationale for making the types of videos that you do. Now I totally understand how it can be a bit tricky (and maybe even a bit burdensome) having to vlog all the time. Whatever types of videos you choose to make going forward, please know that we appreciate and enjoy all of your content.

  • @cosma695
    @cosma695 29 дней назад +2

    In my experience you can’t help falling in love, but you most certainly can decide whether to act on it or not :) sometimes it is so empowering to just let it be and admire it

  • @byrouj
    @byrouj Месяц назад +3

    After seeing your crazy, beautiful life in Paris through your eyes, I will be coming myself in January for the first time. I'm so excited.

  • @zook5849
    @zook5849 Месяц назад +1

    Thank you for sharing! Falling in love is both choice and It happens. We let it happen when we find someone interesting or we find them attractive . Then we let them in our lives and our feelings start to grow and our connection becomes stronger ! We feel our emotions grow and it hurts so much and so deep when they leave us or we don't work out! It feels like some one died and you are left with a void you never want to feel again.

  • @sofiaserez
    @sofiaserez Месяц назад +1

    I think that it is a choice, but that it can also just happen. Most often I find it is a choice, but I believe in the times where you can’t help it. You can stop yourself from feeling, but those feelings are still somewhere under the surface

  • @mysmilesarah
    @mysmilesarah Месяц назад +1

    I love the vlogs but love ALL of your content. Whatever you have to offer is amazing and somehow always has perfect timing! Do what works for you!

  • @the.holyfountain
    @the.holyfountain Месяц назад

    I love all your fashion videos! The one where you filmed an outfit every day of the week comes to mind. Sit down videos are nice because I can listen to them while I draw, but your personal fashion montages are magic!

  • @k.a.u.4599
    @k.a.u.4599 25 дней назад

    I agree with a lot of the comments and I love how people are all phrasing it different. Here's how I'd describe it: falling in love isn't a choice, but being in love is.

  • @milikoshki
    @milikoshki Месяц назад +1

    i came back just to read the comments and see what other people think about choice and love. Nice job starting such a convo in the comments!!

  • @poeticposturing3850
    @poeticposturing3850 Месяц назад +3

    It's both. Someone shows up and you love them. You just do. But fall in love? That is a choice. You choose to open your heart in a way that invites him/her in. Or you create a distance while still feeling love for them. BTW, I love your hair that way. .

  • @nattyybee
    @nattyybee Месяц назад +1

    I love your piano sessions ❤ you have a beautiful voice. I’d love to hear the full version if it gets released on Spotify :)

  • @dissidentfairy4264
    @dissidentfairy4264 Месяц назад +4

    I think it's a bit of both. We choose who we love both consciously and subconsciously. Our instincts also play a role in it as to whether it ends up for our good or to our detriment....never go against instincts based on attraction.

  • @Chrissiepupsichen
    @Chrissiepupsichen 28 дней назад

    First of all I think your hair looks super cool! And I think if you say "choice" it often means that you have the power to choose. I think for many people it is often some sort of hesitation because of something that has happend in the past and the fear of being hurt etc. and I don't know if I would call it choice to act upon these feelings. And at the same time I think that it is possible to make the choice to love in general and to let love guide your actions instead of fear. It is something one has to relearn everyday. So all in all I think as in every topic there is no black or white but uncountable shades in between.
    And I love your videos. And I think it just happend because they make me feel good. And I choose to watch them :)

  • @Nanner823
    @Nanner823 Месяц назад +3

    I think it's both. Love can definitely blind side you. I also think we have to let barriers down in order to let it happen. I think it depends on what phase we are in life, and who walks into our lives.

  • @Demention94
    @Demention94 Месяц назад +1

    Im going through a lovespell at the moment, so it's funny this video comes at this precise time. Love can be looked at as a choice, but I believe it finds you when the time is right. Love is always the right "choice" unless you're choosing something that isn't love... that is guised as love.

  • @dragonsi1
    @dragonsi1 Месяц назад +1

    YES, DEF A CHOICE AND EVERYHTING WE DO AND ENCOUNTER IS A CHOICE. I WAS THINKING TODAY THAT WHERE I AM IS A CHOICE, WHO I HANG OUT WITH AND DON'T, EVERYTHING THAT ENCOMPASSES MY LIFE AND ISN'T IS A GOSH DARN CHOICE HARD TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND THAT.....

  • @ThatCirce
    @ThatCirce Месяц назад +2

    The way i've come to understand it, more often than not when we say 'love' it's really something else.
    I think love is unconditional but the context isn't - meaning whether or not we choose to engage in it ?
    To me it's not any different from music or dedicating yourself to any sort of path, if you love it you love it for itself, kind of regardless of what the end result is.. That's how i think of it anyways !

  • @iamthatdane
    @iamthatdane Месяц назад +2

    Such an interesting question! I believe you choose to let your wall down and fall in love or not. I always have a wall up and have never let it down… yet. One day though when someone will be worth it!

  • @LSChestersMom
    @LSChestersMom Месяц назад +1

    Oh man I am so deeply grateful I am not focused at all on this aspect of my life- joyously. Such freedom and so many others ways to channel my energy :) I do not miss any of that drama lol :)
    I love being alive :)

  • @__jake.m
    @__jake.m Месяц назад

    When you find something or someone attractive, you're dealing with the reactions of your unconscious most of the time. That is involuntary. When you start loving something or someone you constantly nurture it (in a way that makes sense to you). That is a choice.
    To fall in love, you have to find someone attractive enough and also nurture that love. So, in order to fall in love, you need the cooperation of both the involuntary and the voluntary.

  • @ertiebassy3612
    @ertiebassy3612 Месяц назад +5

    Of course it is a conscious decision...or an escape or a meal ticket or a fantasy or giving up.

  • @StreamingAccessTwo
    @StreamingAccessTwo Месяц назад

    When you're talking to the camera in your living room, your shadow was projected on the wall, and it looked like a painting of you. So cool! 👍🏻🖼️

  • @SkaterGirlSquirrel
    @SkaterGirlSquirrel Месяц назад +1

    Um, I need more of this at 3:37 please, WOW 💓

    • @thepurplepalace85
      @thepurplepalace85  Месяц назад +2

      thank you!

    • @AnokiLonin
      @AnokiLonin 26 дней назад +1

      IKR!!! I BEEN SAYING IT! i saved some clips like that on my phone to listen to on repeat!

  • @alletrevlac9231
    @alletrevlac9231 Месяц назад

    Heyyyy excited to listen to this while I wfh today :)) big love

  • @north_star_yt
    @north_star_yt Месяц назад

    400th like!!❤❤❤❤ Happy Thanksgiving babe!!!🎉

  • @julierappard293
    @julierappard293 Месяц назад +1

    Damn how talented are you... incredible voice!

  • @kikipaisley
    @kikipaisley Месяц назад

    What is the cool song you were using in your intro? Longtime fan here, love your content and art❤

  • @demigreen6495
    @demigreen6495 Месяц назад

    Love the vlogs ❤🎉

  • @hellothanksforbeinghere
    @hellothanksforbeinghere Месяц назад

    Definitely a choice. When I was younger I definitely thought it was out of my hands but real love is a series of decisions. You decide this person aligns with something in you in the first instance then there that love builds and grows. Similarly when you fall out of love…I am an Aquarius sun though, if that provides any context.

  • @JessicaChloé-ChristHeart
    @JessicaChloé-ChristHeart Месяц назад

    I am absolutely loving singing into a glass jar with a metal straw my voice feels like it’s lifting weights

  • @silverarrowtarot
    @silverarrowtarot Месяц назад

    yes. i think you are right. There's always a moment, a point were you go yea I will drop into this fully or NOT.

  • @MB-nv2ck
    @MB-nv2ck Месяц назад +1

    Shaynaaa our paths in life are gonna cross at some point I just know it haha I feel super weird typing this but I honestly feel like you're my twin or something we're so similar it's scary lol I've been following your channel for years now, your video's are always so inspiring and uplifting! I moved to a different city recently (probably around the same time as you) to pursue music. I'm in a girlband and believe it or not we love drum machines, synths and have a song with french lyrics we just released! We also happen to have the same Korg synth??? haha creepyyyyyy I'm also an aquarius lool anyways I'm calling it out nowww, we will meet at some point I'm sure haha anyways all the best with your arts and music Shayna! Lots of love xxx

    • @thepurplepalace85
      @thepurplepalace85  Месяц назад +1

      what?! what's the name of your band girl?!

    • @MB-nv2ck
      @MB-nv2ck Месяц назад

      @@thepurplepalace85 Mi.el :)))

    • @MB-nv2ck
      @MB-nv2ck Месяц назад

      @@thepurplepalace85 Mi.el :)))

    • @MB-nv2ck
      @MB-nv2ck Месяц назад

      Mi.el :)))

  • @waverlyshegoes
    @waverlyshegoes Месяц назад +1

    I believe it is a choice, yet you can love someone and they may not love you back. Also someone may love you, yet not be capable of showing it to you. And to me that is harder to deal with, from my own personal experiences.

  • @karoline1953
    @karoline1953 Месяц назад

    I think catching feelings or having a crush isn't really a choice but really falling in love only happens when you invest your time and energy to open up and get to know them. So really falling in love is definitely a choice

    • @karoline1953
      @karoline1953 Месяц назад

      Also loving someone doesn't mean you have to engage with them and be there for them, so I hate when people use that as an excuse for being with horrible people

  • @MsScarletHeart4ever
    @MsScarletHeart4ever Месяц назад

    Yes, it is a choice. 💜

  • @tiadepadul
    @tiadepadul Месяц назад

    Hi Shayna, love your videos! I have a question about your video project inside my shell. What is the name of this video style, I would like to try something similar for my portfolio but have no idea where to start. Thank you, sending lots of love from Ireland✨

  • @rebecalinke8923
    @rebecalinke8923 Месяц назад

    I think attraction is not a choice, but I agree that falling in love is a series of decisions

  • @rileylawson9958
    @rileylawson9958 Месяц назад

    Is your personal spotify public so we could see your playlists?

  • @milagrosperez8062
    @milagrosperez8062 Месяц назад

    welcome back sky ferreira

  • @_Sapph_
    @_Sapph_ Месяц назад

    I think falling in love is not a choice, but staying in love is. Relationships take work and must be nurtured, if your needs aren't met you will detach.

  • @dallasgarvin4116
    @dallasgarvin4116 Месяц назад +4

    The thumbnail is sooo 2012 coded!

  • @Shayokay91
    @Shayokay91 Месяц назад

    You can’t control attraction, but love? Love is a choice you make over and over again

  • @kathleenkaleookalanismith8724
    @kathleenkaleookalanismith8724 Месяц назад

    It feels like it just happens but I personally think it’s based on all our unconscious conditionings from our childhood

  • @pagegrav
    @pagegrav Месяц назад

    i’m a control freak so i wish it were as simple as choosing to fall for somebody (i’ve tried so hard before) but i believe you can only choose to be open to falling in love but who it is with will unfortunately be out of your control.

  • @DesignedInNola
    @DesignedInNola Месяц назад

    you are so lovable

  • @wandakrenew4203
    @wandakrenew4203 Месяц назад

    Ps I liked how your hair when I first saw it in this video!

  • @yeahweburnstuff
    @yeahweburnstuff Месяц назад +2

    ADHDers have so many problems in relationships because we aren't really that self-aware.
    Divorce rates for us are higher than average.

  • @RikkeGade
    @RikkeGade Месяц назад +2

    What’s the name of the song in the introduction?❤

    • @thepurplepalace85
      @thepurplepalace85  Месяц назад

      the one I sing or the background ? :)

    • @Eden_barry1616
      @Eden_barry1616 Месяц назад +1

      @@thepurplepalace85the one you sing on piano please?? I’d like to know this too. Very beautiful as always maiden 💜

    • @RikkeGade
      @RikkeGade Месяц назад +1

      @@thepurplepalace85 Actually just both haha

  • @PS-bs8oe
    @PS-bs8oe Месяц назад +2

    Whattttt? How come where She(ena) sees a "li'lle chicken" we see a blooming Purple Princess ?!?! ;-)

  • @martamossberg6989
    @martamossberg6989 26 дней назад

    Question!! in an old video she sings "this one goes out to my new boyfriend. haven't met you yet but it won't be long" does anyone know if that is a purple palace song????

  • @AdamFlanagan-oq6op
    @AdamFlanagan-oq6op 27 дней назад

    Trying to get out of the house but the weather has been awful. Should cds go back to 12 tracks? 🤔🤣🤩⚔️🔥🤘😎

  • @aniagruszczynska3046
    @aniagruszczynska3046 Месяц назад

    What glitter brand is this? I also want to look this angelic… 🫧🌬️🌚

  • @asyasarimusic
    @asyasarimusic Месяц назад

    I think falling in love is a choice. At least the level of investment.

  • @rayna463
    @rayna463 Месяц назад

    I think I could fall in love with anyone who loved me but I choose not to. I’m a lover girl and like I really do believe you could learn to love anyone but I make a conscious decision to not based on my worldly standards. Which is kind of sad like if nothing mattered there’s many people I could have seen myself spending my whole life with

  • @startpage717
    @startpage717 Месяц назад

    Do you "fall" in love with yourself, or is it intentional? You do choose. Like one chooses to be alone or with people, it's all a choice.

  • @ltwig476
    @ltwig476 Месяц назад

    Nah, love happens. The only choice is stay or leave it. And it seldom goes away. That is a good thing, if you think about it. It isn't necessary for love to be a possession.

  • @Fiorellandia
    @Fiorellandia Месяц назад +2

    Your hair is looking very Courtney Love and I love it.

  • @NoradiRivera
    @NoradiRivera Месяц назад

    I think is a choice when i start falling in love but i can't choose not being in love when i'm getting hurt?

  • @steph23764
    @steph23764 Месяц назад

    I think its a choice. Yeah you might get feelings for someone but you decide if you want to share those feelings and yourself. You make a choice to give your time and effort. I think people who think its entirely not a choice are kind of immature and are always swade by their feelings

  • @skaipaints
    @skaipaints Месяц назад

    3:35 wow

  • @Lex_Marion
    @Lex_Marion Месяц назад

    I have no idea how to not fall in love. I am so in love with my close friends, as much as, and in the same way as, my partner. The only difference I think is the amount of time I spend with them and how much we do or don't have sex lol. I see my husband more of course but everything I do for a partner - help them with chores, cook them food, call them to tell them good news and be there for bad news - I also do for my friends. How do I choose to not do that? How could I be anything less? That's just where I go.

  • @milikoshki
    @milikoshki Месяц назад

    I think you need to define more clearly what you mean by falling in love :D but I'm gonna assume you mean more than infatuation, more like "I want to be with this person, develop a deeper and deeper connection, know them more and more, commit to each other" kinda love- yeah, it's a choice. But there are prerequisites. You can't decide to fall in love with someone you don't have potential to love. There needs to be a certain level of connection and interest and attraction to get you to the point where the choice is on the table. But I think a lot of people chose to not fall in love nowadays, when they think there might be someone else better next time they open the apps. Makes me glad I chose to fall in love 10 years ago and don't have to deal with this online dating shizz lol

  • @LeilaBenamor
    @LeilaBenamor 25 дней назад

    love just happens but first you must be open to it... it's easier to put up a wall to not let yourself fall in love than it is to be open to it because it's so dangerous... it can literally take over your life and sorry to say this but it can even destroy you if you fall for the wrong person. I have a wall and I need that wall. I do not intend on falling in love any time soon. choice.

  • @antonyreyn
    @antonyreyn Месяц назад

    Shayna Collages Rogues

  • @AdamFlanagan-oq6op
    @AdamFlanagan-oq6op 27 дней назад

    Did you get new tattoos? 🤔🤘

  • @emilysaikia
    @emilysaikia Месяц назад

    In Psychological terms that "falling in love" feeling is a dropping of ego boundaries and as the Marquise de Merteuil writes in Les Liasons Dangereuses "l'amour est simplement l'art d'aider la nature"!
    ruclips.net/video/jJ6K_f7oSdg/видео.htmlsi=XNrW989MjbX7x7n1

  • @barbaraangele8615
    @barbaraangele8615 Месяц назад

    No such thing as Free Will so no choice. Books on that topic. Everything just happens on its own. Love you and your channel though I did not choose to.😂

  • @AdamFlanagan-oq6op
    @AdamFlanagan-oq6op 27 дней назад

    🤘🫶💪🤩💯🫡😎⚔️ Good vid. I think both is possible. If you try anything Can happy. Is fate a choice? 👍😉

  • @briannacontreras5571
    @briannacontreras5571 Месяц назад +2

    What do you think of Jesus?

  • @sweetwillow
    @sweetwillow Месяц назад

    I think it’s true that love is a choice but no one wants to admit it. Because they don’t want to admit they chose to fall in love with bad person, but it’s like, girl…you did 🤣🤡