blending in is not a virtue - vlog

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  • Опубликовано: 31 дек 2024

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  • @suzannewalker1298
    @suzannewalker1298 27 дней назад +26

    At 58 it has taken me a long time to not be afraid to put myself out there.
    My former husband would tell me not to wear bright colours. So for 25 years I was beige in all areas of my life.
    I now wear colour...I am not beige anymore!!!
    Awesome blog ❤

  • @tajashania
    @tajashania 28 дней назад +25

    I love the idea of create and destroy! It’s a similar concept to the quote “your new life will cost you your old one” - the idea that when you’re reinventing yourself, you will have to shed and destroy the old version of you and your life.

    • @zook5849
      @zook5849 28 дней назад +1

      I had to do just that after high school! Took years to achieve but it was worth it!

  • @julia_cohen
    @julia_cohen 25 дней назад +7

    If you want to shine, shine
    You’re not being a better person by making yourself small
    Writing this down in my notes!
    Thank u sis💖

  • @annette_164
    @annette_164 28 дней назад +12

    Loved this vlog Shayna💜very interesting. I think the joy of aging is becoming less of a people pleaser and setting boundaries. It’s very revealing to see who pushes back on those boundaries and who respects them; suddenly people’s intentions become very clear.

  • @4.eva.21
    @4.eva.21 28 дней назад +7

    what a powerful and encouraging speech at the end of the video. i see it the same way. i have been growing more and more into the woman i want to be. i finally dare to do my life my way. feels so liberating.

  • @gogothedoll
    @gogothedoll 26 дней назад +4

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. As a woman in my early 20s, you inspire me to be my most unapologetic, authentic, and creative self. A quote from Candy Darling I love is, 'You must always be yourself no matter what the price is. It is the highest form of morality.'

  • @nadyasotnikova778
    @nadyasotnikova778 25 дней назад +2

    Never bought anything so fast, I love your art and am so inspired by your authenticity. This journal will be my 2025 journal for the year of creation and destruction. Love you!!!!

  • @PaulineHanna-st7gf
    @PaulineHanna-st7gf 3 дня назад

    I think as you get older you become more comfortable with being yourself and taking up space. The older you get, the more you walk into it, which is a great part of ageing. We’re all meant to be here so there’s no point in being here and not being what you are. I think we’ve sometimes been sold this notion that we have to self-efface and put ourselves at the back of the line. I don’t think it’s good. When I was younger I was definitely a people-pleaser and I think that was for many dysfunctional reasons but the more you just live what you are, the freer and happier you feel. What you said about blending in made me recall what my dad used to say to me which was “Modesty is not a virtue”. And create and destroy is in line with how things are always changing and evolving, ourselves included. So I enjoyed your video as always. Thanks! Xx🥰❤️✨

  • @mariabrowne-oc7dl
    @mariabrowne-oc7dl 26 дней назад +3

    This is soooo important for young women to understand! I'm so glad you are opening this topic for contemplation and discussion. This is the very reason that women have such high rates of autoimmune diesease. I can tell you as a woman in my 50's that the monologue in that Annette Benning movie recently is spot on. For the most part people will take and take and rather than appreciation they will respond with more demands and less reciprocation. It's extra sad when it is your own children of course (not my situation, thankfully).

  • @sofiaserez
    @sofiaserez 28 дней назад +4

    Morning!! Getting ready to hop on the train for my last day of art school of the year!! Just watching this - I’m running out of journal space! I might buy one of theseeee🥰😍
    To what you are saying: my mom used to travel the world as a singer. She wanted to continue and produce music. Then she met my dad and he had his own dream and didn’t want her to go traveling & all those things. So she gave up that dream and had a family. She is just now fully getting back into music as we have all moved out and is a vocal teacher! I’m so proud of her for that. I want to help her produce music now.
    She always spoke of it as “I wouldn’t change it for the world I love my family”. But not that we are older she has said things like “I guess it wasn’t my time” and “your dad didn’t want me to”. And it just makes me sad to think of how her dreams were lesser.
    Sorry for the rant - but to the other part about not going out just for other people - I’m going to send that to my sister because she’s always doing things for others before herself!

  • @imani467
    @imani467 28 дней назад +2

    i completely relate, as i'm closing out my 20's i'm learning to put myself and my boundaries first and to move away from people pleasing. excited about this new, creative, embodied self that is emerging ✨

  • @jennifervasquez251
    @jennifervasquez251 26 дней назад +1

    Love this conversation and topic! I relate to everything you say here! I was always too much for people too. Thank you for sharing your thoughts around this. It's helpful!

  • @AnnKristinJohnsen123
    @AnnKristinJohnsen123 28 дней назад +5

    Girl, you're a star!

  • @robinredondo9427
    @robinredondo9427 28 дней назад +4

    Watching your videos inspires my creativity and helps me move! I love you❤

  • @eiaeheh
    @eiaeheh 27 дней назад +2

    10:49 This really touched me. I was good at physics, but because my friends made fun of how good I was, I started skipping physics class and started failing and basically made myself small. I think that if I didn't skip class and if I actually pursued physics, I would actually love to have a career in it

  • @wendyabura9939
    @wendyabura9939 15 дней назад

    What a timely message❤.

  • @sundayworksmusic
    @sundayworksmusic 23 дня назад

    thank you for shining so beautifully

  • @morgan.2003
    @morgan.2003 28 дней назад +2

    You are my favorite philosopher

  • @Landon3___111
    @Landon3___111 28 дней назад

    I loveee ur vlogs and love this editing styie!! also the new journal looks so cute!

  • @ellizaogrady
    @ellizaogrady 27 дней назад +1

    reading the book women living deliciously and it is talking about all the topics you were like not dimming your light for the sake of others! super interesting and highly recommend

  • @urabagofcells2228
    @urabagofcells2228 16 дней назад

    Actually for those of us who take up space, don’t compromise on who you are and you get comments like “you’re intense,” it’s because it’s thoughtful and loving for people to adjust their preeminent, volume of their voice, etc to flow with other people ways of taking up space rather than trampling people. I know Shana’s talking about something else, taking up space in context of men and speaking up. And I love that. In my journal I wrote “I’d rather get slapped on the face than to not d speak up” as a mantra (Shana’s neighbor incident in her old apartment) But for those of us watching who can’t keep friends because they take up space, and overwhelm people that’s why.

  • @cassandramalinagolovitcher9079
    @cassandramalinagolovitcher9079 24 дня назад

    Always serving such interesting reflections

  • @jjessicaisabelle
    @jjessicaisabelle 27 дней назад

    Love the cover. Also silver jewellery and that hair is your best era yet 😍

  • @amrei4972
    @amrei4972 28 дней назад +2

    The topic with being a threat to others because you shine your light concerns me too. I think if you get the gift to be a person that inspires its your calling to shine as bright as you possibly can. Its my ideal to live like this but sometimes I have the feeling that people hate me in some place deep inside. My existence bothers them. They dont want me to be so bright and too often I try hard to dim myself down. I think the reason is collective mysonogy. Sometimes I see other women and ask myself who would you be if now one broke you as you grew up? Woman are naturally so powerful untamed and beautiful. Thats why people want to keep them in the cute, naive, ancious, dependent place. they are so afraid to loose control over them
    I feel like in the actual state of the world you need to sell you self respect for being liked and accepted. But I wish that we do it together exactly how you said shayna that we shine and support others to do the same and that changes the state of this world.
    I also truly understand your thought about not wanting children but maybe the conception that having children is a disadvantage is mysogynist too. Maybe we just don't have enough examples that show that being a mother and an independend self loving woman is no contradictory

  • @emiliomontes-j1m
    @emiliomontes-j1m 28 дней назад +1

    The cover looks dope! Congrats🎉🎉🎉

  • @Funtographymakes
    @Funtographymakes 28 дней назад

    Thank you for the message today! I want to change and I find it hard to do, but today I feel empowered to be whatever my heart desires! ❤️ Stay true love!

  • @sonyher973
    @sonyher973 23 дня назад

    loved your video! i still struggle with being honest and expressing my real opinion, but im working on it! ps. you looked amazing when you picked your hair up at some point 💫💅

  • @janissteadman285
    @janissteadman285 28 дней назад +2

    yeah sister!!!!SHINE THAT LIGHT ... its fun blinding demons XXX

  • @haruhiscorner5372
    @haruhiscorner5372 26 дней назад +1

    I really like the journal (already used the „dreams come true“ and loved it!) and would like to order one but it says it‘s not possible atm 😭 maybe bc i look at amazon france but am in switzerland?

  • @erinr8566
    @erinr8566 27 дней назад

    I love bright blonde shaynaaa

  • @morgan.2003
    @morgan.2003 28 дней назад +4

    What was the book you were reading? I was really interested

    • @wildrayy
      @wildrayy 27 дней назад

      Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder

  • @majp6126
    @majp6126 27 дней назад

    The mouse looks like angelina ballerina! Weirdly my family has a LOT of mouse tree decorations but theyre my faves. My mom also does not like mice but loves the tree mice haha

  • @fytgiop
    @fytgiop 27 дней назад

    i needed that thxxx

  • @LoveeeBombbb
    @LoveeeBombbb 28 дней назад

    Morning I am not a better by dimming my light ❤

  • @ww8729-e9q
    @ww8729-e9q 26 дней назад

    I enjoyed listening to your vlog/message today as it really resonated with me. Thank you. My question: how did you get to be so wise?

  • @janebarbour948
    @janebarbour948 28 дней назад +1

    I think you would love to make crazy decorations your own artwork for your lovely tree 🎀🌷🌸💚

  • @miriamgreiff7524
    @miriamgreiff7524 28 дней назад +2

    i agree a 100%

  • @JessicaChloé-ChristHeart
    @JessicaChloé-ChristHeart 28 дней назад

    You look amazing platinum blonde! Blondes do have more fun!!! (my hair has gone red here aka blonde for people with natural hair). Can’t wait for paris la nuit 🩷🩷🩷

  • @theanthy
    @theanthy 28 дней назад +2

    Could you make stickers of this print?

  • @recyclecouture
    @recyclecouture 25 дней назад

    Can you do a video and show us the steps of self publishing your book?

  • @theanthy
    @theanthy 28 дней назад +1

    Ooh what book is that quote from?

  • @antoniaaltenkamp4879
    @antoniaaltenkamp4879 22 дня назад

    thank you so much for the inspiring video shayna

  • @luisac2193
    @luisac2193 28 дней назад

    Love ❤

  • @TheLoullas
    @TheLoullas 28 дней назад

    The more I get older the more I feel like an alien to myself when I people please. I think that’s kinda a good sign that I notice it more often but also it it soo uncomfortable for me. I know I have come a „long“ way already but there is still work to do

    • @amrei4972
      @amrei4972 28 дней назад +2

      I feel you! It's so good to be true to yourself but still hard to be in disharmony with others

    • @TheLoullas
      @TheLoullas 28 дней назад

      @ thank you for your nice words..yeah disharmony with others and with yourself

  • @OlliesProse
    @OlliesProse 17 дней назад

    I agree with what you’re saying, but this trend about housewives, who say to their husbands or boyfriend that they can’t help out with the mortgage or house payment or whatever… And they’ve never made it before, they don’t even know how much it is or who the payment goes to….. that’s not the point - it’s the number of men who say this to their wives who pay all the bills. Not all the women are doing all the work of raising the kids, sometimes they’re actually the ones just having the breadwinning job and he’s home managing all the crazy. I found it empowering to women. And the women in the videos who were paying all the bills acted just as proud as men who pay all the bills so their wives can stay home and do all the necessities. I really was glad to see no ego.

    • @OlliesProse
      @OlliesProse 17 дней назад

      I really mean that, watching all those videos was life-changing for me. It really got into the mindset of the relationship status of people and either one being the breadwinner and it just… It just hit different..

  • @FreelancingTipsTricks
    @FreelancingTipsTricks 17 дней назад

    Great video! One thing I've noticed that can really boost click-through rates is using contrasting colors and bold text in thumbnails. It really helps them stand out in search results
    Can we discuss this for ten minutes tomorrow?

  • @AdamFlanagan-oq6op
    @AdamFlanagan-oq6op 28 дней назад

    Cool I might get one 🤘💯🤩😎😋

  • @vevict
    @vevict 21 день назад

    I wish it was blank, I don't do well with lines haha

  • @_madame_sene
    @_madame_sene 26 дней назад

    I love you❤ purple palace has become such a warm place of inspiration for me. From the bottom of my heart, merci beaucoup. Can you please drop the name and author of the book you referenced. I’ve sacrificed so much of my authentic self seeking my families or boyfriends approval & low & behold they were still critical of me. Today I’m shinning brightly & no longer abandoning myself for others comfort.

  • @estellar.367
    @estellar.367 25 дней назад +1

    But what about for example you would experience discrimination by a colleague or a school mate, and then you tell other colleague or school mate about it, trying to look for support and then colleague or classmate that you talked to, practically ignore you instead of support you to protect themselves from a conflict situation, and then they put their boundaries taking distance with you? like taking the other people side, or keeping themselves neutral and at same time making you feel like you are making drama talking bad at peoples back

  • @LaurenLiz
    @LaurenLiz 28 дней назад

    ❤❤❤❤

  • @silviamoal6030
    @silviamoal6030 25 дней назад

    ✨✨✨❣️

  • @zook5849
    @zook5849 28 дней назад

    You should check out the movie Cabrini!! I loved it! Based on a true story!! This women was bold, courages, honest, loyal, and kind!!! Best of all she was unstoppable!! Let me know what you think??

  • @AdamFlanagan-oq6op
    @AdamFlanagan-oq6op 21 день назад

    When it comes to relationships for women its your Mars & house number. 😉👍

  • @AdamFlanagan-oq6op
    @AdamFlanagan-oq6op 27 дней назад

    Blending in is a Capricorn thing 😂😉

  • @catherinepatterson4720
    @catherinepatterson4720 27 дней назад

    A thumbs up for sharing your thoughts 👍A book, I bought a few months ago, which another RUclipsr recommended, that you may be interested in too, and based on the content of this (your) video, is called, ‘How to Stop Disappearing and Start Being Yourself: Loving Him without Losing You’ by Beverly Engel. I really liked the passage from the book you read to us. It was thought provoking. Someday, would you share the book title? By the way, a great Xmas tree 🎄and pizza 🍕 Look forward to your next vlog : )

  • @AdamFlanagan-oq6op
    @AdamFlanagan-oq6op 28 дней назад

    It's been going on for a while.... keep calm & watch Vivien Leigh. 😉😎👍💯

  • @antonyreyn
    @antonyreyn 28 дней назад

    Shayna Collages Rogues

  • @purplesunflower8242
    @purplesunflower8242 28 дней назад

    Totally Punk.Back in the day the Punk scene your creative image and style fit in to Rock Punk tribes.Check Katie Garside British Female singer boho rock fab, think you may like her, gigged in Paris..

  • @Handleshmandle1
    @Handleshmandle1 15 дней назад

    Noooo why have you privated your how you learnt French video :( pleeeeease can it be unlisted at least?