My teen son came to me the other day and said “ mom , I can really see you change and not yelling anymore “ and my 4 year old who is extremely wild and full of energy - hard to keep out of trouble ♥️😭 I stopped yelling and gave him “choices” . We have only been practicing one week and the impact has been monumental . We are all happier because of this . I wish I would have known how to do this years ago . I feel like I’ve wasted so much time and caused hurt , especially with my teens yelling and having blowups .
Kimberli and Nathan Sehrman, I am so glad these methods are working for you and your family. I'm truly honored to be on your team! I understand what you mean by wishing you could have known about this sooner, but perhaps your teenagers will see that this new way works much better than old way; and when they become parents, they will choose positive parenting.
So lovely to read this has worked for someone. I'm stuck yelling at my wild hyper 4 year old and I'm exhausted. Going to start implementing this and see if my boys notice too.
It is a joy to hear especially from kids and teens these kindly words recognising some change in us, parents. Well done 👍 and keep it up Kimberli and Nathan.
You are right on time! Remember. However I see your point, years of yelling and frustration with my 2 daughters drove me to these videos and thank Goodness they are helping so much ... I might be able to get along with my teenagers from now on :)
I used to yell when my kids were small because I felt like talking to a deaf ear until my son told me about how he heard me. He said I just sound like a banging drum. I began talking in a calm caring way and they begun to listen. I did the technique of deep breathing and focus on their being an innocent child limited in their understanding... The word says, "Be quick to love and slow to anger." And mostly pray for them.
Great idea! Practice this before having a child, while the stakes are low. You'll be pro level by the time you're a parent and the mistakes you made along the way will carry less consequence.
I yell at my kids because that's all I ever known. My mom always yelled at me even though we're really close. So, I try to change my behavior and yell at them less, because I've notice if I'm calmer, they're calmer too.
Oh gosh LOL I have 5 kids under 10 and I am a HORRIBLE yeller when my kids hurt each other!!! Especially my boys towards my girls or the bigger kids on the smaller more defenceless kids! Ooh boy oh boy, God help me.
I am loving these videos!!!! I was sold into human trafficking when i was a toddler. I've been free for 6 years now. So many of these are exactly how I've been able to navigate life and it's so incredibly heart warming to see a platform based upon grounding and love. Thank you so much. Invaluable doesn't say how MUCH I'm grateful and impressed at the same time. Thank you will have to do for now. So, thank you
So am i was trafficked by my classmates in seminary and my family ...they treated me as an animal ...and used me for porn ..they put a camera on the ladies dorm and my moms home ....i am afraid am not free yet ...am still in this country ...but whatever he is teaching is helping me ...my life is still in danger ....but i practice calming techniques ...and it works ...sometimes when i am flooded ...and if i keep practicing this i can keep calmer ...it works
1. Practice deep breathing when not angry. 2. Think deep why you are angry. 3. Change your thinking.(you are right on schedule. This is perfect for me. I am present ). I will try that. Thank you
My mom was a yeller (and a hitter but that's neither here nor there). I wasn't able to show strong emotions in front of her, but she constantly was in front of me. Now that I'm an adult, I always feel repressed and like I need to yell in order to stand up for myself in a conflict, and I constantly feel defensive. Now that I can yell after so long of not being able to, it's even worse. I want it to change that before I become a parent. Videos like this are really helping, so thank you!
Same here. ..i yell alone sometimes when am flooded but am learning from this channel and others esp about narcissist and their game ...and mr live on purpose here makes every sense ...glad i found him and the others ...
We start therapy this week. But I'm so grateful for your videos. I'm so tired of yelling and than apologizing. I realize I'm in a loop of sadness and anger, being triggered by stuff that doesn't need the anger. Prayer and your breathing technique are helping. Thanks. I am changing.
This made me realize kids also have the same response so they yell,cry or throw a tantrum because of chemical reaction,or response.Thank you! I work at a daycare so it’s very important to remain calm.
I recently was preparing dinner, I decided to empty the dishwasher and was over tired. I pulled the cutlery draw out onto the floor, my mind started to shatter. Before it did I calmly left the house in bare feet walked about 3 mins Decided not to be upset, walked back lay on my bed texting my friend laughing about it. Went back to the kitchen and cooked tea. Then I choose to pick up the mess, choose to repair the drawer later.
I’ve been binge watching your channel the last few days desperate for answers on how to deal with my angry 12 year old who goes from 0 to 10 in a second! I feel some hope just watching these and realizing I’m just as much to blame as him. Thanks for the insight and I really hope I can put these to work and get my husband on board as well. Thank you!
Hey, I just wanted to let you know, your channel has changed my parenting. Really love your techniques. A lot of it overlaps with my attempts at implementing Love and Logic techniques... but not everything my kid does is "by the books", and you cover a much broader array of topics.
I'm not someone who yells but if I'm frustrated in a family situation I can raise my voice. Or so I think. My daughter will say to mom that daddy yelled at me, I feel I didn't yell but I guess I need to understand peoples perception of the word and the feeling it gives. I love my family and would do anything for them. You can never stop learning. Thank you for always taking the time to create your videos. I really appreciate your effort. Breath in... breath out slowly:)
I have tendencies to raise my voice, but it was hard for me to calm down when I felt like yelling since early childhood. Many adults told me to lower my voice, but it took awhile to develop self control. 👍🏻 if you strongly agree with my comment.
You are welcome, vinylcollectors. Honored to be on your team! Please check out our Positive Parenting playlist for more tools if you haven't already: ruclips.net/p/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU
My son is 5 today, trust me he can push someone so badly to the wall but I'm learning alot from this channel and start practicing being a better parent.
Dr. Paul, We have our two grandsons, ages 6 & 11 for 8 nights. The entire video gets to the point and is very helpful. Your suggestion of telling yourself “I’m right on schedule” helps me this morning. Throughout the day, I observe the boys vacillate with their attention between me (Grandmother) and their Grandfather. I don’t like being left out so I make myself feel bad with negative self thoughts. This video has energized me to know I am a worthy, participating significant person in their life. When your tired and low in energy (and I’m usually a motivated, adventurous person), these guidelines are a challenge. Thank you for the motivation on this Sunday morning--while the boys are still sleeping 😴.
12:21 THIS RIGHT HERE, just helped me SO DANG MUCH, you have NO idea… I had to rewatch it three times because every time I would watch/listen to that statement, I would only get ONE word further in the statement, before bawling like a baby again. 😂 Every. Dang. Time. Such a powerful and incredibly insightful and intelligent piece of advice, that is. Just wow. So, I’m not on my last leg, near the end, on the edge of my worst “season”in life. Where am I? I’m PRESENT, I’m BREATHING it out, and I’m RIGHT ON SCHEDULE, where I’m supposed to be, in the middle of my inspiring story. That’s so incredibly powerful and empowering. It gives me the power to get back on track in writing my own story, instead of allowing my hurt, my anger, and my resentment write the story. Turns my biography back into an autobiography again; the way it SHOULD be. Wow. Thank you SO MUCH, Dr. Paul. Much love from Texas! 🤟
Awesome! I have a lazy roommate that drives me crazy! Lazy, messy, smelly and now after complaining, I plan on moving but while I'm waiting on a place to move to, I'm relegated to my room. I'm tired of being angry and feeling like a grumpy ♡itch all the time. Thanks for the strategies. It's better than going to jail!!
I just want to say I appreciate your parenting videos so much. I was not raised lovingly and now I am struggling knowing the right way vs wrong way to parent. I’m learning now I was raised dysfunctionally and don’t want to pass that to my little Ones. Your videos are so helpful. Thank you.
I Love the fact that the tips in this video can be applied in your daily life and parenting. Definitely going to try these ideas for work and with my daughter. I keep having this feeling in my gut that I need to change the way I parent, and after watching several episodes from your channel I’m beginning to find that not only do I need to change.. but I actually have the ABILITY to change using your awesome tips. I think it’s fair to say that most parents don’t want to yell at their kids or make their kids “fear” them. They just want to be respected, and there really is a fine line between those two concepts. Thank you so very much for sharing your wisdom and experience on this channel. Real Game Changer!!
Thank you for this video! Those three things to remind myself really hit home. I constantly feel two steps behind other moms who make well balanced meals that their kids actually eat, have a structured morning routine, sit down and study with their kids each night, etc. I try, but it seems like I must not be doing it right. That’s when I watch your videos and get advice. You’ve been so helpful! Thank you. I still always feel behind, but I’ll try this out. :)
I’ve watched this one a few times already! It makes so much sense every time and can’t wait until I start to believe ‘I am right on schedule and that this is perfect for me’ ❤️❤️ do you have a video for transitioning from “jealous that your partner seems to have all the free time” as that would also be super helpful 🙌
Before I got married and had kids myself, I used to judge a friend of mine who I used to see yelling at her teens and getting all bent out of shape. I used to say, "Why are you so angry? Can't you go and take a breather and walk away?" Now, I'm in the midst of the same scenario and I realize that kids will show you what's inside of your heart and brain clearer than anyone else. What comes out of us in these situations stems from our own programs that these kids are triggering. I love his techniques in all of his videos because it takes that emotional reaction out and gives us a way to handle kids in a very healthy way recognizing we parents are responsible for our own emotional responses - period. No excuses. My only regret is not listening to him and applying these techniques earlier when the kids were little. God bless you Doc! ❤️
Dr. Paul, I have to admit, during the covid pandemic I have lost it and yelled and cried, privately in my home, from the overwhelming feeling of despair. At some point during the break down I manage to click on to any one of your vids to help bring some perspective. Reassuring to feel that I am not alone. In a safe place yelling is OK and so is crying my eyes out. In reading comments on your vids the community indicates that everyone at some point or points in their lives feel like yelling. The isolation due to covid deaths and now 3 new strains of covid does get overbearing to handle-so my thinking tell me. 😉 So much suffering happening, including animals too. Thank you for producing your channel Dr. Paul. 💛 🇨🇦 😷
We are signed up for virtual school this fall.... I just took a whole page of notes from this video; I am going to start my breathing exercises now to get ready for this new "adventure" in the fall. Thank you for your support and advice!!!!!!
I love this channel and great advice like this! When my son was a teenager, he spoke to me harshly once, which happily didn’t happen often. Well, I wanted to share that I told him “I think you forgot you are speaking to someone you love.” This was a game changer. I chose not to lash out and to focus him on what he was saying and how. I’m not saying I never shouted but I find it helpful to remember I’m speaking to someone I love and I like to think I taught him that. ❤️
I had to take some really deep breaths today it took everything for me not to yell at my mama she doesn't deserve to be treated that way like ever me and her have grown closer together we don't fight at as much anymore it's a great relationship that was built I have had two death's in my family during this New Year, the beginning of 2022 sadly it's been really hard for me to cope with everything it has changed my personality I have been having such bad anxiety and anger at the same time I know god has plans in store for me he is always here for me even when I can't see it!
I have been implementing all of your advice for 2 weeks and I have notice a lot of changes. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. My 4 year old started to hit my 2 year old and everything I asked him why or how it happend, he always replay nothing. I never hit my kids, but I am guilty of yelling at them, and I don't want to i love them. Since I have been in control on talking with my 4 year old, with calm body, face and voice.now he says my brother is trying to hit me thats why I want to hit back, I am so thankful that he now explain things to me, he even not lie anymore, he says I hit him and he knows that I am not gonna yell but talk. I am amazed.
I just wanted to drop by again and let you know how much you helped me. I was (still am, but working on it) focused on myself, me me me. I had a horrible childhood that you helped me clarify with another video. My family is worse than some, but not as much as others, and to be grateful. You are helping so many people, most of whom will not comment yet still be healed in various ways. The unconscious mind video in particular with your male guest was of great interest. Another video that stands out is you talking about the quick n' easy ways you can ruin relationships. I have a wonderful relationship with my Girlfriend, but realized I was doing many of the things that would ultimately lead to ruin. So many things left to ponder. Fascinating how the more we learn the more we realize how much we don't know. Have an incredible day, and an incredible life. Thank you.
so glad i found your channel, jsut wached 4 videos back to back and already feeling calmer and more confident to be able to manage my frustrations and iritations with positivity and re thinking how i feel about situations that will arrise in my life, thanks so much for these videos, will be playing them a lot for the future
I have to say that saying ,”I’m right on schedule “; is pretty hard to say in any other tones except for optimistic and happy. I honestly don’t want to attempt to make that possible because even attempting to use a neutral tone is not going to happen. it is an “ insta-calmer” so, thank you :3
GOD bless you dr. Paul.. ❤️ the way you explain in your videos just amzaing.. after watching your videos nobody inspires me anymore more than you.. you're just awesome .
Thank you for pointing out that I can use this when I want to yell. I never thought to use this technique for that. I was taught to use it by my therapist to calm myself. It really does work! Now I'm gonna use it , if/when I remember for yelling. Thanks again for the help!
❤️ Although yelling is not my response, but I do tend to panic or start feeling uncomfortable and fidgety when faced with a tough situation. It always helps to hear good and very apt advice. You are extremely well read and you have great understanding of human psychology
Oh man! I used to fly off the handle. When I got physical things like thyroid medication and sleep apnea taken care of it was amazing how it changed my brain. But I do still have moments. Lol! This will be helpful!
The equipment in our own mind...LOL! I like that explanation. Breathing... got that and in progress regularly. 👍Honestly, during this pandemic covid yelling privately in a few breakdowns is needed. Feeling flooded is reduced by not watching too much news on social media. 😑Thanks for letting things feel it is OK to feel like yelling.😡 If done in the privacy of ones own personal space then the yelling, the energy of worry, frustration, fear of what people are "not" doing to protect each other from the virus, is alright. 😐 Yelling privately to release the pent up energy is a lot better than yelling at other people or animals.😇. 🇨🇦
Seriously I connect so much with everything you say, I saw you the last time you came to Edwards Colorado. Your videos help me so much, thank you! I'm a follower and a fan.
Paul, this is excellent and thank you so much! 'This is perfect for me' 😉 Just love it. Am watching you more often from now on. Mind 'set' or the way we think, our repetitive and learned patterns is EVERYTHING. My tough story starts to turn around now. Thank you 🙏❤
I have to say Dr. Paul, that you and your lovely wife have inspired me so much through your videos, that I have signed up for a course in Child Psychology in order to add more knowledge to my business of being an NLP Practitioner and Naturopath. I feel in society today, there are so many families struggling with behavioural issues and the wrong methods are used in order to deal with them. We have gone from severe corporal punishment which is vastly wrong to no consequences or understanding of the underlying behaviour, and if we never understand the root of the problem we never actually cure it, only suppress it for a short while, as with physical health problems. There are so many people needing supportive resources out there that I now run my own website, that provides NLP, NATUROPATHY, NUTRITION AND FITNESS SUPPORT along with my daughter, and now would like to help families with their issues. Today because of the 'virus', I feel society has been infected with knock on psychological issues which will prove to be a bigger fallout than the 'virus' itself....all of this collateral damage needs dealing with and never more was it as important to keep mentally well and help and support one another. My answer to that is to ban all forms of media and only listen to positive input such as your advice and others like you, anything else serves no purpose in our lives. Thank You for inspiring me x
I'm about to become a step mom. My future daughter's biological mother passed away and I want to be a real mom to her, and adopt her down the line (my lawyer said we had to be married 2 years then I could adopt her). I want to be a great mom. I was adopted so I understand a bit about getting a new parent but my adoptive mother and I always clashed. I want to be the kind of mother I always wanted to have. I've been binge watching many of your videos and hope to live up to the standards I think you would have for me. Thank you for making all of your informative videos, they are like youtube parenting classes for me. I love the tone in which you convey your message and the passion you apparently have for good parenting and giving children a healthy environment to flourish in. I daresay I'll probably repeat watch many of them. I already yelled at my future step-daughter a couple of months ago (she's currently in the custody of maternal grandparents but we're filing to take over custody) because she ran behind a car that was about to back out of the neighbor's drive, it scared me half to death. I immediately apologized afterward and I honestly don't know if I can stop myself in situations like that where I can see immediate danger with the worst of outcomes as the consequence of the action. But I hope to be able to control the reaction to yell in situations where her life is NOT in immediate danger. It's important to me to be the best mom I can be. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!
Good luck with adoption... But remember, the paper doesn't change anything if the mind doesn't cooperate.... Sometimes we feel more close to our aunts, grandmother, granddads, whomever exepct our biological parents, and we percieve those "others" as a real deal. Btw, I'm sure you'll be a great friend and mom to that kid cuz you have that background of "wanting and knowing" for it to be better than you ever had with your momm....
I just found your video today. Awesome. It is my first year as a kindergarten ESL teacher. Your theories and strategies are wonderful. But I need some scripts that I can follow. My words and threats are slowly turning into garbage...HELP needed urgently🤢😪
Thank you for the information and your time. I would be an awesome grandpa if I didn't have anger. I love my kids but my anger throws me off and later I feel guilty.
Having PTSD, I find it even harder to not yell or overreact. Also my toddler hitting or kicking me makes me burst into tears and sometimes have flashbacks. I wish I could figure out how to overcome this.
Thank you so much for this Dr. Jenkins. I used to do this breathing subconsciously but two adults who I considered dear to me shared that when I did that with them it made them feel bad about out interactions ... What response would you have in a case like that / what would you suggest in that case?
You are welcome, Words and Pictures, and thank you for watching. I would be honest with them. Tell them that your breathing exercises are a subconscious thing, and that it has nothing to do with them. It simply makes you feel better/calm/however it makes you feel. It's not about them, it's about you.
He is showing Qi jong breathing… Slowing down the nervous system & the heart rate is very calming. Qi jong has many slow moving exercises where you are slowly pushing away the stress or bad feelings with your hands.We can even do this if we cross the mark & start getting excited; just do calming exercises by stopping the script and going into another room to calm down. Probably a good strategy to separate everyone for even 10 minutes, all of you, and then come back together after you have done these slow breathing exercises. If possible, everyone gets together to offer support to the yeller… having a code word the yellow offers to the recipients would help stop the feelings. Everyone involved should to be a part of the process of change at some point…then everybody will be happier. We can flip the switch both ways, it’s always our choice. We do with our lives is entirely up to us; we can’t blame our behavior on anyone else but ourselves.We can change the script more easily by running through the normal scenario in our brain prior to sleep (like making ruts in a computer disc). Our brain will work on this throughout the night, remembering this new tactic and implementing it at the prescribed time we need it…that is how we change our behavior.
I really need to implement this. I have to admit it take A LOT more effort to not yell and to yell. I have to remind myself that its a marathon not a sprint.
There are actually three ways to react = fight. fight, or compromise. I wish I could get to the compromise more often as it makes for better communication , maybe with the breathing exercise first I can achieve this more...Thanks!
@@LiveOnPurposeTV do you think you could make a video about dealing with young kids about...depression...I guess is what it is...I don't know. My son is 5 years old, and he has a horrible attitude about life. I have no idea how this happened, nothing horrible has happened to him. I am the most positive person ever, but his dad is depressed. Idk if he is feeding off of that or what. But he hates learning new things, doesn't want to try anything new, doesn't want to make friends. It breaks my heart so much, and I try everything in my power to be positive for him and encourage him, but it doesn't seem to work. Please help me. He is too young to be feeling like no one likes him!!! 😭😭😭
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” - Viktor E. Frankl
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
My teen son came to me the other day and said “ mom , I can really see you change and not yelling anymore “ and my 4 year old who is extremely wild and full of energy - hard to keep out of trouble ♥️😭 I stopped yelling and gave him “choices” . We have only been practicing one week and the impact has been monumental . We are all happier because of this . I wish I would have known how to do this years ago . I feel like I’ve wasted so much time and caused hurt , especially with my teens yelling and having blowups .
Kimberli and Nathan Sehrman, I am so glad these methods are working for you and your family. I'm truly honored to be on your team! I understand what you mean by wishing you could have known about this sooner, but perhaps your teenagers will see that this new way works much better than old way; and when they become parents, they will choose positive parenting.
So lovely to read this has worked for someone. I'm stuck yelling at my wild hyper 4 year old and I'm exhausted. Going to start implementing this and see if my boys notice too.
It is a joy to hear especially from kids and teens these kindly words recognising some change in us, parents. Well done 👍 and keep it up Kimberli and Nathan.
It it has been working with my three year old grandson also what a difference!!! Where was this advice 36 years ago LOL glad to have it now
You are right on time! Remember. However I see your point, years of yelling and frustration with my 2 daughters drove me to these videos and thank Goodness they are helping so much ... I might be able to get along with my teenagers from now on :)
I used to yell when my kids were small because I felt like talking to a deaf ear until my son told me about how he heard me. He said I just sound like a banging drum. I began talking in a calm caring way and they begun to listen. I did the technique of deep breathing and focus on their being an innocent child limited in their understanding... The word says, "Be quick to love and slow to anger." And mostly pray for them.
I am glad you listened to him. Thank you for sharing.
Banging drum🤣🤣🤣
Jesus keep helping us please.
I am a yeller and I don't even have kids!! I am definitely gonna try these, thank you doc 😊
HiLoGuurl, yep, this is for anyone, not just parents! Glad you are willing to try. Thanks for watching!
Great idea! Practice this before having a child, while the stakes are low. You'll be pro level by the time you're a parent and the mistakes you made along the way will carry less consequence.
Lmao same
I yell at my kids because that's all I ever known. My mom always yelled at me even though we're really close. So, I try to change my behavior and yell at them less, because I've notice if I'm calmer, they're calmer too.
Oh gosh LOL I have 5 kids under 10 and I am a HORRIBLE yeller when my kids hurt each other!!! Especially my boys towards my girls or the bigger kids on the smaller more defenceless kids! Ooh boy oh boy, God help me.
I am loving these videos!!!! I was sold into human trafficking when i was a toddler. I've been free for 6 years now. So many of these are exactly how I've been able to navigate life and it's so incredibly heart warming to see a platform based upon grounding and love. Thank you so much. Invaluable doesn't say how MUCH I'm grateful and impressed at the same time. Thank you will have to do for now. So, thank you
Sabrina, I am honored to be on your team.
So am i was trafficked by my classmates in seminary and my family ...they treated me as an animal ...and used me for porn ..they put a camera on the ladies dorm and my moms home ....i am afraid am not free yet ...am still in this country ...but whatever he is teaching is helping me ...my life is still in danger ....but i practice calming techniques ...and it works ...sometimes when i am flooded ...and if i keep practicing this i can keep calmer ...it works
🙏💜
@@The.Indian.Goddess pray to God. You might now believe but it won't hurt you. I pray you get set free
1. Practice deep breathing when not angry. 2. Think deep why you are angry. 3. Change your thinking.(you are right on schedule. This is perfect for me. I am present ). I will try that. Thank you
Love it! banniesmile, I am so happy when people will at least give it a honest try.
My mom was a yeller (and a hitter but that's neither here nor there). I wasn't able to show strong emotions in front of her, but she constantly was in front of me. Now that I'm an adult, I always feel repressed and like I need to yell in order to stand up for myself in a conflict, and I constantly feel defensive. Now that I can yell after so long of not being able to, it's even worse. I want it to change that before I become a parent. Videos like this are really helping, so thank you!
StormBerryMC, honored to be a part of your team.
Same here. ..i yell alone sometimes when am flooded but am learning from this channel and others esp about narcissist and their game ...and mr live on purpose here makes every sense ...glad i found him and the others ...
We start therapy this week. But I'm so grateful for your videos. I'm so tired of yelling and than apologizing. I realize I'm in a loop of sadness and anger, being triggered by stuff that doesn't need the anger. Prayer and your breathing technique are helping. Thanks. I am changing.
Virginia W, best of luck to you in your therapy. Better days ahead.
This made me realize kids also have the same response so they yell,cry or throw a tantrum because of chemical reaction,or response.Thank you!
I work at a daycare so it’s very important to remain calm.
Deborah Spencer, thank you for the work you do.
I should have watched your video in my twenties. Now I'm so grateful for discovering this treasure.
Willy H. R. I am glad we could connect.
I recently was preparing dinner, I decided to empty the dishwasher and was over tired. I pulled the cutlery draw out onto the floor, my mind started to shatter. Before it did I calmly left the house in bare feet walked about 3 mins Decided not to be upset, walked back lay on my bed texting my friend laughing about it. Went back to the kitchen and cooked tea. Then I choose to pick up the mess, choose to repair the drawer later.
Ja Hall, sounds like you have this under control.
I’ve been binge watching your channel the last few days desperate for answers on how to deal with my angry 12 year old who goes from 0 to 10 in a second! I feel some hope just watching these and realizing I’m just as much to blame as him. Thanks for the insight and I really hope I can put these to work and get my husband on board as well. Thank you!
You got this! We are here to help.
Sounds like he needs a diagnosis, why would you blame yourself? Don't do it.
How is he doing now??
Hey, I just wanted to let you know, your channel has changed my parenting. Really love your techniques.
A lot of it overlaps with my attempts at implementing Love and Logic techniques... but not everything my kid does is "by the books", and you cover a much broader array of topics.
Wow, thank you! Casey Wilson, you made my day.
I'm not someone who yells but if I'm frustrated in a family situation I can raise my voice. Or so I think. My daughter will say to mom that daddy yelled at me, I feel I didn't yell but I guess I need to understand peoples perception of the word and the feeling it gives. I love my family and would do anything for them. You can never stop learning. Thank you for always taking the time to create your videos. I really appreciate your effort. Breath in... breath out slowly:)
You got this. Powerful insight.
I have tendencies to raise my voice, but it was hard for me to calm down when I felt like yelling since early childhood. Many adults told me to lower my voice, but it took awhile to develop self control. 👍🏻 if you strongly agree with my comment.
Andrea Patane, we are all working on something.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Is that right,?
Thank you! I needed this. The other day my toddler imitated my yelling at him and I felt so ashamed. I am going to use these tools to do better
You are welcome, vinylcollectors. Honored to be on your team! Please check out our Positive Parenting playlist for more tools if you haven't already: ruclips.net/p/PLq2mRDkHEBPCclxt6agg3wrLBRkL7CCwU
😂😂🤣🤣 Waooo. Kids!
My son is 5 today, trust me he can push someone so badly to the wall but I'm learning alot from this channel and start practicing being a better parent.
I have found my self as a yeller. Fortunately, I watched this video. Thanks Subscribed
Awesome! Thank you! Welcome to Live On Purpose TV.
Subscribed. I’m a teacher, a coach, and a parent. This is the stuff I need
Honored to be on your team, Herbinislander. Consider our Positivity Practitioner Certification. Get more info from my assistant.
Just discovered you today. Thank God for you! Seriously!
Elizabeth McKeough, honored to be a part of your team. Welcome.
Dr. Paul, We have our two grandsons, ages 6 & 11 for 8 nights. The entire video gets to the point and is very helpful. Your suggestion of telling yourself “I’m right on schedule” helps me this morning. Throughout the day, I observe the boys vacillate with their attention between me (Grandmother) and their Grandfather. I don’t like being left out so I make myself feel bad with negative self thoughts. This video has energized me to know I am a worthy, participating significant person in their life. When your tired and low in energy (and I’m usually a motivated, adventurous person), these guidelines are a challenge. Thank you for the motivation on this Sunday morning--while the boys are still sleeping 😴.
Thank you for taking the time to comment. Glad you have the time to spend with your grands. They are the best.
12:21 THIS RIGHT HERE, just helped me SO DANG MUCH, you have NO idea… I had to rewatch it three times because every time I would watch/listen to that statement, I would only get ONE word further in the statement, before bawling like a baby again. 😂 Every. Dang. Time.
Such a powerful and incredibly insightful and intelligent piece of advice, that is. Just wow.
So, I’m not on my last leg, near the end, on the edge of my worst “season”in life.
Where am I?
I’m PRESENT, I’m BREATHING it out, and I’m RIGHT ON SCHEDULE, where I’m supposed to be, in the middle of my inspiring story.
That’s so incredibly powerful and empowering. It gives me the power to get back on track in writing my own story, instead of allowing my hurt, my anger, and my resentment write the story.
Turns my biography back into an autobiography again; the way it SHOULD be.
Wow. Thank you SO MUCH, Dr. Paul. Much love from Texas! 🤟
Honored to be on your team, Baldman5k.
Awesome!
I have a lazy roommate that drives me crazy!
Lazy, messy, smelly and now after complaining, I plan on moving but while I'm waiting on a place to move to, I'm relegated to my room.
I'm tired of being angry and feeling like a grumpy ♡itch all the time.
Thanks for the strategies. It's better than going to jail!!
Dawn M. H., I am glad you are making a new way for yourself.
I just want to say I appreciate your parenting videos so much. I was not raised lovingly and now I am struggling knowing the right way vs wrong way to parent. I’m learning now I was raised dysfunctionally and don’t want to pass that to my little
Ones. Your videos are so helpful. Thank you.
Thank you, Brittany, honored to be on your team.
I Love the fact that the tips in this video can be applied in your daily life and parenting. Definitely going to try these ideas for work and with my daughter. I keep having this feeling in my gut that I need to change the way I parent, and after watching several episodes from your channel I’m beginning to find that not only do I need to change.. but I actually have the ABILITY to change using your awesome tips. I think it’s fair to say that most parents don’t want to yell at their kids or make their kids “fear” them. They just want to be respected, and there really is a fine line between those two concepts. Thank you so very much for sharing your wisdom and experience on this channel. Real Game Changer!!
LOVE to hear this, Ricky. Exactly why we put the channel together. Please share with anyone else who could benefit.
Thank you for this video! Those three things to remind myself really hit home. I constantly feel two steps behind other moms who make well balanced meals that their kids actually eat, have a structured morning routine, sit down and study with their kids each night, etc. I try, but it seems like I must not be doing it right. That’s when I watch your videos and get advice. You’ve been so helpful! Thank you. I still always feel behind, but I’ll try this out. :)
Don't compare your worst moments with their best. Remember, what you see on Instagram is not the full story.
I’ve watched this one a few times already! It makes so much sense every time and can’t wait until I start to believe ‘I am right on schedule and that this is perfect for me’ ❤️❤️ do you have a video for transitioning from “jealous that your partner seems to have all the free time” as that would also be super helpful 🙌
LanaBear, we need to free up some time for you. Figure out what you can let go of or what you can get help with.
Before I got married and had kids myself, I used to judge a friend of mine who I used to see yelling at her teens and getting all bent out of shape. I used to say, "Why are you so angry? Can't you go and take a breather and walk away?" Now, I'm in the midst of the same scenario and I realize that kids will show you what's inside of your heart and brain clearer than anyone else. What comes out of us in these situations stems from our own programs that these kids are triggering. I love his techniques in all of his videos because it takes that emotional reaction out and gives us a way to handle kids in a very healthy way recognizing we parents are responsible for our own emotional responses - period. No excuses. My only regret is not listening to him and applying these techniques earlier when the kids were little. God bless you Doc! ❤️
Thanks, JB N, you are so correct about the programming. We need to reprogram our actions and it is difficult, though possible.
Thank you so much for practical advice !❤
I yell and cry and pray and yell and cry and pray. Thank you for teaching these skills.
You are so welcome
Dr. Paul, I have to admit, during the covid pandemic I have lost it and yelled and cried, privately in my home, from the overwhelming feeling of despair. At some point during the break down I manage to click on to any one of your vids to help bring some perspective. Reassuring to feel that I am not alone. In a safe place yelling is OK and so is crying my eyes out. In reading comments on your vids the community indicates that everyone at some point or points in their lives feel like yelling. The isolation due to covid deaths and now 3 new strains of covid does get overbearing to handle-so my thinking tell me. 😉 So much suffering happening, including animals too. Thank you for producing your channel Dr. Paul. 💛 🇨🇦 😷
Meg's Carpentry, we are human and our experiences are more universal than we sometimes thing. Glad you are at the channel.
Doc needs a podcast on Spotify
Nur Mashitah, I have a podcast, Live On Purpose Radio.
We are signed up for virtual school this fall.... I just took a whole page of notes from this video; I am going to start my breathing exercises now to get ready for this new "adventure" in the fall. Thank you for your support and advice!!!!!!
You got this! Give us any ideas for videos on how we can support you.
I love this channel and great advice like this! When my son was a teenager, he spoke to me harshly once, which happily didn’t happen often. Well, I wanted to share that I told him “I think you forgot you are speaking to someone you love.” This was a game changer. I chose not to lash out and to focus him on what he was saying and how. I’m not saying I never shouted but I find it helpful to remember I’m speaking to someone I love and I like to think I taught him that. ❤️
Love that!
I love that too!!! Beautiful 💕
I appreciate that you provided those two sayings😊.
Ooooh my ....hmmm I always yell....am so happy I found this video because this is what I was looking for....thanks so much..
Glad it was helpful!
I had to take some really deep breaths today it took everything for me not to yell at my mama she doesn't deserve to be treated that way like ever me and her have grown closer together we don't fight at as much anymore it's a great relationship that was built I have had two death's in my family during this New Year, the beginning of 2022 sadly it's been really hard for me to cope with everything it has changed my personality I have been having such bad anxiety and anger at the same time I know god has plans in store for me he is always here for me even when I can't see it!
Thank you for realizing that you can control yourself and that you want to work on the relationship. I love that you have hope. Never give up hope.
“Serenity now! Serenity now!” That seemed to work for Frank Costanza…
Love it.
Thanks for helping. Life preserver in a stormy sea 🌊
Kapa Tactical, you got this.
I have been implementing all of your advice for 2 weeks and I have notice a lot of changes. I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. My 4 year old started to hit my 2 year old and everything I asked him why or how it happend, he always replay nothing. I never hit my kids, but I am guilty of yelling at them, and I don't want to i love them. Since I have been in control on talking with my 4 year old, with calm body, face and voice.now he says my brother is trying to hit me thats why I want to hit back, I am so thankful that he now explain things to me, he even not lie anymore, he says I hit him and he knows that I am not gonna yell but talk. I am amazed.
msconfesor, thank you for trying. Awesome.
Excellent presentation...thank you
You are welcome.
Thanks for this video I need something like this to calm down and realize i dont have to yell
CB 1014, the first thing is realizing we have a choice, you are on the right road.
I have been practicing this for some weeks now and it absolutely works for me. I am infinite grateful! Thank you so so much.
Thanks for letting me know.
I just wanted to drop by again and let you know how much you helped me. I was (still am, but working on it) focused on myself, me me me. I had a horrible childhood that you helped me clarify with another video. My family is worse than some, but not as much as others, and to be grateful. You are helping so many people, most of whom will not comment yet still be healed in various ways. The unconscious mind video in particular with your male guest was of great interest.
Another video that stands out is you talking about the quick n' easy ways you can ruin relationships. I have a wonderful relationship with my Girlfriend, but realized I was doing many of the things that would ultimately lead to ruin. So many things left to ponder. Fascinating how the more we learn the more we realize how much we don't know. Have an incredible day, and an incredible life. Thank you.
PrezidentTrump, thank you for your kind words. So glad we can be a part of your journey.
so glad i found your channel, jsut wached 4 videos back to back and already feeling calmer and more confident to be able to manage my frustrations and iritations with positivity and re thinking how i feel about situations that will arrise in my life, thanks so much for these videos, will be playing them a lot for the future
I'm so glad! Welcome to our channel and revisit the videos as often as you need to.
I have to say that saying ,”I’m right on schedule “; is pretty hard to say in any other tones except for optimistic and happy. I honestly don’t want to attempt to make that possible because even attempting to use a neutral tone is not going to happen. it is an “ insta-calmer” so, thank you :3
You are very welcome, Norma Harlean. Honored to be on your team.
I am so glad I came across this channel
Nathifa Figuera, I am also
GOD bless you dr. Paul.. ❤️ the way you explain in your videos just amzaing.. after watching your videos nobody inspires me anymore more than you.. you're just awesome .
Thank you, mahi ansari.
Thank you. Needed to hear this.
You are so welcome.
We all need to stay calm at some point! Even holding negative emotions can be bad. This might be a video for me to learn.
Abdirauf Abshir, there have been studies on the negative physical effects of carrying around negative emotions. Mind and body are inseparably linked.
Beautiful knowledge Thank you for sharing🙏👍✌
Honored to be on your team.
Thank you dear! Your videos really help parents!
You're so welcome!
Just THANK YOU 🙏👌
merieme elorch, honored to be on your team.
New subscriber ! Dawn, a.k.a. The Minimal Mom, brought me here. Your conversation with her on her channel today was DELIGHTFUL ! And empowering .
Thanks for letting me know, lizzabbott and welcome to Live On Purpose TV.
Thank you for pointing out that I can use this when I want to yell. I never thought to use this technique for that. I was taught to use it by my therapist to calm myself. It really does work! Now I'm gonna use it , if/when I remember for yelling. Thanks again for the help!
Angie Jones, glad you connected with the video.
I love your videos when you're by yourself... love how you do your best to reach out to our major problems with ourselves and kids
Thank you, Selena channel. I'm working for you.
I wish I could force people to watch your videos! They are so helpful! Thank you! I always share them ☺️
Wow, thank you! Glad they have helped, Jolene.
Why don't you just yell at them till they do?
I will try to practice what I got from this video.
Thank you!
❤️ Although yelling is not my response, but I do tend to panic or start feeling uncomfortable and fidgety when faced with a tough situation. It always helps to hear good and very apt advice. You are extremely well read and you have great understanding of human psychology
Thank you, I have been at it for over 30 years.
My 11 year old son was diagnosed with Odd, and ADHD! And he tells us what he’s going to do. And what we should do.
Something is not quite right with this. Sounds like he needs some consequences and counseling.
Oh man! I used to fly off the handle. When I got physical things like thyroid medication and sleep apnea taken care of it was amazing how it changed my brain. But I do still have moments. Lol! This will be helpful!
Thanks for sharing!! Sometimes there are underlying medical conditions. Glad you are in a better place.
The equipment in our own mind...LOL! I like that explanation. Breathing... got that and in progress regularly. 👍Honestly, during this pandemic covid yelling privately in a few breakdowns is needed. Feeling flooded is reduced by not watching too much news on social media. 😑Thanks for letting things feel it is OK to feel like yelling.😡 If done in the privacy of ones own personal space then the yelling, the energy of worry, frustration, fear of what people are "not" doing to protect each other from the virus, is alright. 😐 Yelling privately to release the pent up energy is a lot better than yelling at other people or animals.😇. 🇨🇦
Meg's Carpentry, there are so many things we can do to stay calm and they can even help other people. Thank you for commenting.
Oh man: I needed a tune up on my practice. I had a rough morning after being triggered and it created a horrible storm. 🤦🏻♀️😞
CG Graf, deep breath, we can start over. You got this!
Seriously I connect so much with everything you say, I saw you the last time you came to Edwards Colorado. Your videos help me so much, thank you! I'm a follower and a fan.
Isabella Estrada, thank you, glad you are in our community.
Thank you for creating a calmer more neutral reaonable attitude in this world. It takes courage to change
and you make it do-able.
Tess Jones, thank you for your kind words.
Paul, this is excellent and thank you so much! 'This is perfect for me' 😉 Just love it. Am watching you more often from now on. Mind 'set' or the way we think, our repetitive and learned patterns is EVERYTHING. My tough story starts to turn around now.
Thank you 🙏❤
Wonderful!
I have to say Dr. Paul, that you and your lovely wife have inspired me so much through your videos, that I have signed up for a course in Child Psychology in order to add more knowledge to my business of being an NLP Practitioner and Naturopath. I feel in society today, there are so many families struggling with behavioural issues and the wrong methods are used in order to deal with them. We have gone from severe corporal punishment which is vastly wrong to no consequences or understanding of the underlying behaviour, and if we never understand the root of the problem we never actually cure it, only suppress it for a short while, as with physical health problems. There are so many people needing supportive resources out there that I now run my own website, that provides NLP, NATUROPATHY, NUTRITION AND FITNESS SUPPORT along with my daughter, and now would like to help families with their issues. Today because of the 'virus', I feel society has been infected with knock on psychological issues which will prove to be a bigger fallout than the 'virus' itself....all of this collateral damage needs dealing with and never more was it as important to keep mentally well and help and support one another. My answer to that is to ban all forms of media and only listen to positive input such as your advice and others like you, anything else serves no purpose in our lives. Thank You for inspiring me x
Venus77x, we are honored to be on your team.
Life saver 🙏🙏🙏
Thank you, Chynar.
I've never been a yeller, but I did yell that last time my mom yelled at me. I guess I'm worried that I will repeat the cycle unintentionally
jake, you got this. Yelling is a choice and becomes a habit the more we do it. You can decide not to yell.
Great video ♥️
Thank you.
Jolly good stuff!
Chris Graham, thank you!
Thank you for taking the time to make these so very important videos.
Glad you like them!
This was a very practical way to support training our thinking differently. Thank you from Canada!
Glad you enjoyed it!
Wondering if this or a version of this would also be beneficial for all children to learn and practice.
Yes, it would.
I love the way you present these strategies; funny, entertaining and truly helpful
Glad you enjoy it! Thank you, Tracy.
I’m so glad you have a podcast! I just subscribed to it. I appreciate your content very much.
Thank you for subscribing to the podcast, It's the Tiny Sister's Show! Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV and Radio.
I love podcasts thsnk you
Thank you for taking you’re time !
My pleasure!
This is amazing thank you 🙏🏾❤️
You are very welcome, thank you.
This is a good video. I'm not an Old yeller but I did learn about synapses. I never understood. Thank you
Gabrielle Stargel, honored to be on your team.
Thank you so much
💛 A very Thankful Mom of 3 in Pennsylvania
Katie, honored to be a member of your team.
Thank you doc”
You are welcome.
I'm about to become a step mom. My future daughter's biological mother passed away and I want to be a real mom to her, and adopt her down the line (my lawyer said we had to be married 2 years then I could adopt her). I want to be a great mom. I was adopted so I understand a bit about getting a new parent but my adoptive mother and I always clashed. I want to be the kind of mother I always wanted to have. I've been binge watching many of your videos and hope to live up to the standards I think you would have for me. Thank you for making all of your informative videos, they are like youtube parenting classes for me. I love the tone in which you convey your message and the passion you apparently have for good parenting and giving children a healthy environment to flourish in. I daresay I'll probably repeat watch many of them. I already yelled at my future step-daughter a couple of months ago (she's currently in the custody of maternal grandparents but we're filing to take over custody) because she ran behind a car that was about to back out of the neighbor's drive, it scared me half to death. I immediately apologized afterward and I honestly don't know if I can stop myself in situations like that where I can see immediate danger with the worst of outcomes as the consequence of the action. But I hope to be able to control the reaction to yell in situations where her life is NOT in immediate danger. It's important to me to be the best mom I can be. Thank you thank you thank you!!!!
Lisa Simpson, safety always comes first. If yelling is what it takes to keep them breathing, then go ahead. Good luck to you.
Good luck with adoption... But remember, the paper doesn't change anything if the mind doesn't cooperate.... Sometimes we feel more close to our aunts, grandmother, granddads, whomever exepct our biological parents, and we percieve those "others" as a real deal. Btw, I'm sure you'll be a great friend and mom to that kid cuz you have that background of "wanting and knowing" for it to be better than you ever had with your momm....
Very nice.
This is brilliant! Thanks!
You're very welcome!
Serenity now!
James D, so glad for you.
I yell at my dad somtimes and i regret it right away so this was helpfull thankyou😁💕
i am on my dads account im a girl btw so ya lol
Glad it helped!
I learned & revisited a lot listening to this video. Great video!
I'm so glad you found the video useful, Vaness Holley. Honored to be on your team!
So I'll be trying calming methods
I'm honored you are willing to try Susan B. I hope you see results, but please be patient with it.
Thank you!!
You're welcome!
I just found your video today. Awesome. It is my first year as a kindergarten ESL teacher. Your theories and strategies are wonderful. But I need some scripts that I can follow. My words and threats are slowly turning into garbage...HELP needed urgently🤢😪
Welcome aboard! Write out some things that you have said that work, then you can refer to them again.
Great advice!
Thank you, Curtis.
this is really helpful.
Overnight Coffee, honored to be on our team.
Thank you for the information and your time. I would be an awesome grandpa if I didn't have anger. I love my kids but my anger throws me off and later I feel guilty.
Keep working at it and it will get better.
Having PTSD, I find it even harder to not yell or overreact. Also my toddler hitting or kicking me makes me burst into tears and sometimes have flashbacks. I wish I could figure out how to overcome this.
Thank you so much for this Dr. Jenkins. I used to do this breathing subconsciously but two adults who I considered dear to me shared that when I did that with them it made them feel bad about out interactions ... What response would you have in a case like that / what would you suggest in that case?
You are welcome, Words and Pictures, and thank you for watching. I would be honest with them. Tell them that your breathing exercises are a subconscious thing, and that it has nothing to do with them. It simply makes you feel better/calm/however it makes you feel. It's not about them, it's about you.
He is showing Qi jong breathing… Slowing down the nervous system & the heart rate is very calming. Qi jong has many slow moving exercises where you are slowly pushing away the stress or bad feelings with your hands.We can even do this if we cross the mark & start getting excited; just do calming exercises by stopping the script and going into another room to calm down. Probably a good strategy to separate everyone for even 10 minutes, all of you, and then come back together after you have done these slow breathing exercises.
If possible, everyone gets together to offer support to the yeller… having a code word the yellow offers to the recipients would help stop the feelings. Everyone involved should to be a part of the process of change at some point…then everybody will be happier.
We can flip the switch both ways, it’s always our choice. We do with our lives is entirely up to us; we can’t blame our behavior on anyone else but ourselves.We can change the script more easily by running through the normal scenario in our brain prior to sleep (like making ruts in a computer disc). Our brain will work on this throughout the night, remembering this new tactic and implementing it at the prescribed time we need it…that is how we change our behavior.
Jude, thank you, so true.
Huge thank you for your help with this videos! I am a new parent and I am yeller mom already 😭
You are so welcome! Ana Serbanescu, you can learn tools that will help you to remain calm.
Very useful stuff
Glad you think so! Dan Thoreson, honored to be on your team.
I really need to implement this. I have to admit it take A LOT more effort to not yell and to yell. I have to remind myself that its a marathon not a sprint.
Juan Perez Feliciano, you can do this, I know you can!
There are actually three ways to react = fight. fight, or compromise. I wish I could get to the compromise more often as it makes for better communication , maybe with the breathing exercise first I can achieve this more...Thanks!
pat schreer, yes, you can.
I love your videos!!!!
Ashley Duell, thank you, I appreciate that.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV do you think you could make a video about dealing with young kids about...depression...I guess is what it is...I don't know. My son is 5 years old, and he has a horrible attitude about life. I have no idea how this happened, nothing horrible has happened to him. I am the most positive person ever, but his dad is depressed. Idk if he is feeding off of that or what. But he hates learning new things, doesn't want to try anything new, doesn't want to make friends.
It breaks my heart so much, and I try everything in my power to be positive for him and encourage him, but it doesn't seem to work.
Please help me. He is too young to be feeling like no one likes him!!! 😭😭😭
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
- Viktor E. Frankl
James Scott, soooo good. That man has been an inspiration for a long time.