Surprised no one's thanking the son in the comments. He deserves all the praise. Thanks to the son for all his hard work. He's incredible! She should be grateful she has someone to help her.
Yeah. I feel for him. When she said: "when i die, someone else can deal with it." That triggered something in me. My mom says the same, and i am an only child. So because she doesn't want to spend her time and go through it and deal with it, she pushes that burden onto me. I think it is selfish and irresponsible to be completely honest.
As a 73 year old, i am trying to keep up with my stuff/ treasures. I also have many interests and enjoy thrift shopping, however, I understand the safety factor involved with too many objects and health. This lovely lady has been through a lot of emotions with her mother’s care and then passing. Aging is not for the faint of heart and frankly, kind of scary. Patience and understanding go a long way. AND, her son, Carla and the other helpers should be commended for being so helpful. They are just trying to help her be able to stay and enjoy her home safely. Bless all of you for “adulting”.
He was so respectful. He realized he had to operate on a slow timetable even though that's not how he would have done it. She might not realize her danger of eviction but he does.
Joan my parents left it for their kids to do after they were gone. That’s not fair to the kids. It was so much work and I resented it. Doing it now is a gift to them later. I’m doing it for my sons now so they won’t have to do it when I’m gone. Once it’s out of the house I don’t miss it one bit. Life isn’t about stuff. I love my family too much to leave that burden on them.
I am 66 years and a hoarder! I tell my husband and family that I am taking everything with me when I pass away! I am watching Joan & her Son for inspiration for dealing with my own mess!
🙏 Mom passed during Covid. She had an antiques & collector shop for 20 years. She closed the shop 10 years before she passed. I cleaned out her condo & got it ready to sell…donated TONS & still brought back stuff to fill up 2 of my bedrooms🤦🏻♀️ it’s 4 years later & I’m down to 1/2 a room. Please 🙏❣️ cull through it so your loved ones don’t have to🙏
I have down sized my belonging. I don't want my kids to have to deal with my mess when I am gone. They will be grieving and I want them to have the time and space to do so.
As an only child, I implore you don't leave it for your kids to have to handle. It's is like pouring alcohol onto a gapping wound. They have already lost you, and now they have the large task to go through all of your things. Everything is not special. It, in fact, becomes so overwhelming that it all becomes trash.
This, this needs to be said 👏Too much stuff, especially when recovering from a loss of a loved one, does become trash and later possibly a regret. I absolutely appreciate that we're all different but I'd personally love for everyone to at least consider what will happen when they're no longer around.
I absolutely agree! Right now I am decluttering myself and my mom sees me detaching from things and I hope she does the same. I’m not a person attached to stuff because I know this stuff is not mine and if I’m not using it why not allow someone else benefit from it. I have these conversations with my mom and she doesn’t listen or even know how anxious it makes me feel that her bedroom is so cluttered that I fear I’ll be the one dealing with it if something happens to her, I’ve voiced this to her because my cousins went through it with her sister after her passing to the point that we almost lost one to suicide because of the overwhelming feeling of loss and then memories and doing the decluttering of the things of someone you love.
I think no one has ever made me understand so clearly as lovely Joan did, what it means to clear a hoarder house. It has so much to do with respect, respecting other peoples values. And it becomes a balancing act between respect and necessity and understanding. Like her son said: it's a giving and taking. It will give me a lot to think about. Thank you Joan. Thank you Carla.
I am a senior and living in a smaller home in retirement. The only thing that helped me was to start with a clean, freshly painted empty room, add my furniture and shelves and then start bringing in my favorite things and stop when it started to feel full. Once I could see my spaces without a lot of stuff I liked it. She will enjoy her spaces when done, my best to her. Haha I was a telephone operator too!!
This is a great point. It's a very different experience to choose the things I really want and love, and put it into a clean, clear room. Then I can just let the rest go.
@@bernadette573 A lot of it is a mind game. It helped my brain to be positive and pick out the things I loved. Just looking at a bunch of stuff and choosing what needed to go was very hard for me.
The son is being so kind. Ruined the relationship with my mom over stuff like this. Joan your son is more important than all the garage sale stuff crammed in your house. Let him help you. He is not your enemy and he wants you to be free to keep living in a nice place. It truly is up to you if you can keep living there or be moved into a one room nursing home. Our stuff is not what defines us.
Oh Carla, this is a bittersweet video for me. Last year, we had to declutter my 85 year old dad’s home because it was at a severe hoarder level and had become very unsafe. Now I am working on my in-law’s home (they are also in their 80’s), which is more clean but still full of stuff and it is so incredibly hard to do it in a respectful way. I feel for Tod and Joan. I applaud them for even being willing to try to move forward in an effort to clean up her home. You were so sweet to Joan, I know that she felt heard and validated so thank you for being kind. Keep helping people, you are a gem.
Her son is a good human with lots of love and patience for his mom ❤️. Praying more progress is made for her sake, and for his. P.S. her art collection is fantastic.
As an LA native, I am IN AWE of her awesome apartment! Private staircase, rooftop, sun room, 2 bedrooms and what seems like a lot of little special nooks. ❤ Plus, I know it's under RSO based on some of the architectural features I saw... I hope she keeps going (she's doing great!) and can soon fully enjoy the wonderful layout of that special apartment in her remaining years ❤
I am the opposite of Joan, I'm terrified of leaving my daughters a bunch of stuff that will take up so much emotional energy when I'm gone. so glad to see Joan is working on the journey😊
That is me. I decluttered for a year, moved to a smaller house and decluttered another two years. I have nothing in storage now, not even one plastic tote.
Local libraries will accept Dvd movies and CDs for donation. This way hundreds of folks can enjoy this media. Instead of it sitting on the shelves in the apartment, left to b be unused. My local library also will accept books sold (in stores) within the last 5 years or less. They will either be added to their collection or sold in their annual book fair that raises funds for year round library prograns.
Joan.....What a vibrant woman you are....I'm so glad you are willing to make room for YOUR fun activities.....I've been a librarian for almost 35 years......sadly...the times...they are a changing.......breaks my little librarian heart.....but.....clear those books out...to make room for the activities you really love!!!! It's ok!!!!!!!!!
I hope we see a follow up with Joan! She seems like a sweet lady and although she has a lot of things it sounds like she is a collector and some of the pieces in her home are so unique. Would love to see her apartment more "curated".
It is apparent to me that Todd loves Joan, and the most important “thing” in the apartment is Joan. Keep up the good work Joan! Then, Todd can continue to return blessings and assist you in your many years ahead. That’s what Mom’s do; make the way for their kids to shine!
Thank you Joan. I had an aunt that was about 82 when she passed. Her house resembled yours. Tons of books, art, dolls, jewelry. She loved beautiful things and was an artist as well. She became ill and when the ambulance came they could barely get through. Of course, they intervened and she had to clear out at least a clear pathway through her living spaces to get to her out in an emergency. My cousin got everything in his path and put it in black trash bags and put them in the carport. She didn’t allow him to trash it until she was able to go through the bags. My sister and I tried to help her. We cleaned around the clutter and asked her if it was ok to throw certain things away. She had nice dreams of sending books to poor areas in her childhood town. But unfortunately she was unable to do so. On one of my sisters visits she had found her taking her final rest. I hope that her family took the time to go through the items and saved at least her photos. She was the family historian. But honestly it would’ve been a daunting task. A friend of hers told me that 3 big trash containers took away all her things that were unclaimed by her children. 😢 I thought it was really sad. I empathize because I’m a collector too. And I would never want anyone to come into my home and remove things willy nilly. Currently, my dad is in his 80’s and I see how he upset he gets when I tell him things like, dad, you don’t need this anymore, can you get rid of it. It’s terribly upsetting for both of us. I want to see him in a nice safe home in his golden years. But I think you hit the nail on the head, we are taking away control. And for someone that has spent the last 50+ years collecting what some may see as trash, it’s his life’s work. I would be so upset if someone came into my home and threw everything away. I will continue to help him as best as I can and respect his decisions because we need to honor his wishes. I wish you much luck on your journey Joan. And I hope you continue to let Carla share your progress. It’s so helpful for us struggling with these same issues. ❤ Thank you Carla. And thank you Todd and kind neighbors. Your love and patience for Joan is beautiful.
Beautifully said. Thank you for sharing your personal stories. It puts it so much perspective! God bless you as you walk through each step with your father in the times ahead! You are loved!
Thank for the grace and kindness you show these people in your life. Change takes time and patience. Especially for old people. Things mean more to us because we were raised to value everything we own. We worked hard to accumulate these things.. it is hard to detach from them. Everthing has memories attached. Chage is a process. Hopefully you Dad will accept help and be able to live happily with less stuff. Good luck.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am 70 and have been downsizing my possessions the past few years. I'm delighted when I find someone in need of something I have.
It's really not easy. Sometimes, you have to make tough decisions for your loved one's health and safety. Knowing when it's time: to take away the car keys; when piles of stuff pose a walking hazard; when pests enter the home; when important documents can't be easily located. It takes time, effort, money, and, most importantly love/respect to remedy the situation. Been there.
This is tough, but I feel like you have to think about your kids. When you're no longer here, it's too much to bear... dealing with the loss of a parent and then having to deal with a mess.
Thank you, Joan, for sharing your home with us. Carla is the perfect person to help you accomplish your goal. Sending nothing but good vibes your way. ❤
My mom left me and my sister only a bunch of clothes and some sentimental knick knacks. She always said that she didnt want her kids to be overwhelmed with stuff when she passed.
Wow, this woman has a lot of beautiful things. She doesn't seem to be an average hoarder. God Bless her to go through this at her age. She knows she has to make changes! I hope she lives 20 more years in her organized apartment.
I adore books and had as many as Joan, but I had a major shift in my mindset about keeping them. Once I’ve read the book and it sits on my shelf it’s no longer telling it’s story to anybody. A book is like a river, it needs to flow and not get stagnant. I made the decision to give all my books to a book seller. Yes, they make money out of it. But the great thing is that each book will be bought by another person and therefore the book’s story lives on. Isn’t that what story telling is all about, passing it on?
I'm glad that her son was willing and able to spend so much time helping her keep her home as it appears that she had at least one other child. And her neighbors came together to help her. So lovely that they all rallied around her. Hopefully her mindset changes about leaving everything for her children to deal with when she's gone as that robs them and creates resentment and anger towards her. And they trash eveything. And loose anything that they may love later that would remind them of their mother and love for her. 💔
Joan, what a lovely lady you are! Like many others, I appreciate you allowing us into your home, and enlightening us on what it’s like for you, as a parent, as an older person, as a self-proclaimed hoarder. I LOVE that you have so many hobbies, and are talented. You deserve to stay in your home, and to be safe and comfortable in it. The progress you’ve made is tremendous, and I look forward to seeing and learning more about you and the beautiful end result.
It's very brave of her to be on camera during this process. Seeing the "decluttering" book in the middle of all these things speaks volumes. I hope she can get her "things" to a manageable amount and heal & grow in the process.
Thank you for letting her share HER story. The way she explains her thought process and feelings makes such sense! Often times it seems like people don't want to understand the hoarder's pov because they're so tunnel visioned on their own perspectives.
The garage is a great asset. It it seems like it would help a lot to move the things that she is ready to part with down to the garage, to get them out of sight and to create the space she will know doubt enjoy.
Joan-the things you said are just what my 89 year old mom says. She doesn't want to be told-she wants to make the decisions. I think we, as her children, are helping by directing but you made it clearer. (and I think you understand better from other people not related to you when your parents are driving you crazy). Thank you for sharing. Carla, you are such a wonderful person. I hope we get to see Joan's house when she is done. BTW my mom is Joan too.
I feel for her son, he has a big job ahead of him. Lucky woman she had a loving son who has to clean up all the hoarding. She mentioned Control. Time is running out. Great woman but selfish I send him strength and love. ❤
I can really relate to Joan. I'm not quite 81 yrs old yet..but I am in the process of downsizing and decluttering. It is so hard to do this alone. It is also difficult to explain why ppl hoard. We just do it & sometimes we need ppl to help us. Carla is the perfect person to help with this project. Joan I don't think you will be disappointed in the end. I wish you much success.🙏🏽💕
Thanks for the great video Carla I feel for the son Todd. What a champ to be patient and he kept carrying on with the decluttering I’m so glad my parents had very little in their house. I’m so glad the Swedish death cleaning came out as I have very little in my house Great Patience Carla Well done 👍 Australia 🇦🇺 👍👍👍👍👍👍
I absolutely understand how Joan wants to look through and sort the treasures she has taken a lifetime to collect. Bless her looking after her Mother until she was 105. That is incredible when we know Joan’s age. My 93 year old Aunty is a collector of treasures also. Family are having a go at her all the time. She finds it very upsetting. I’m not a hoarder but I respect her life choice. I have assisted her to let go of some of her treasures because I give her time to go through them, talk about them and then make the decision. ❤️🌺
Joan is so articulate and her expressing her feelings so beautifully is so sweet and she is doing great at her own pace! I can’t wait to see the progress going forward. ❤
This was my mother in laws house. She passed two years ago and my husband brought so much of it into our house. 😢 I’m hoping in a few years when we move he will be ready to let go so this isn’t me in 40yrs. Joan is lovely and I loved my MIL but it’s hard to be left with so much stuff to deal with. I’m glad to see her work through some of this while she’s still here. ❤
I think in time it will be easier to let it go. Try to honor the stuff you do for sure want to keep, maybe that will make it easier to let go of the rest.
Her son seems so helpful. I hope she appreciates his time and help with this. Our neighbour ended up in a nursing home because she fell in her clutter and broke her hip. She had no family to help. Hoarders can’t see the danger in the clutter ☹️. I wish them luck!
At least she is willing to turn loose to some things and has a great attitude about all this. Seems to be a vibrant person. As for her son, he is a super hero. I can imagine how hard this is on him. He’s a loving son. Amazing story.
I speak as a hoarder, and as someone overcoming it as well. I think the biggest problem in overcoming the hoarding is I had to feel the overwhelm of all the stuff. If you don't feel it, you don't see it. I also needed to experience the exhaustion from clearing it all, that drives home the determination to keep on top of it, and to appreciate the "clean" feeling an uncluttered home feels like. I think selling stuff might create a monster in Joan, she'll start buying stuff to make money. Joan probably came from a time where she didn't have anything, there was no such thing as clutter, no one could afford it. Having all this stuff around gives her security in its value, the memories give her value, but the benefits in clearing it all out is tenfold in comparison. It's a huge thing for Joan to allow to happen, takes a lot of courage and swallowing pride and it's a massive, overwhelming job for Todd. Hope they get on top of it
I love all the colors being revealed in her walls and art as she and Todd have cleared spaces in Joan’s home. I can tell it’s a bright and happy home. It’s so great that she can see the vision of more open and usuable spaces. You’re doing great, Joan! And thanks for sharing your space with us!
This has so inspired me I have just subscribed, am 63 and in UK just starting my own decluttering journey and have taken so much from this video, thank you Joan for being brave enough to share x
Joan’s home is her sanctuary and to move her would be the end of her. She has lived a wonderfully full life and her apartment holds memories galore. The fact that so many people are helping is great, a community that cares is heartwarming. Todd is a good son to come all that way to help his mom. Wishing them both many happy decades ahead. Joan by her count has 26 years to live and enjoy life. Thank you Carla for your kind empathetic support.
Carla, as you were showing Joan's apartment, there was a framed embroidery of a woman reading a letter. My mother, who has passed away, embroidered this same piece. I have it hanging in my family room. Please tell Joan this. This is the first time that I have ever seen another one. It warmed my heart to see it in her home.
Hoarding disorder runs in my family. It has waxed and waned in my life depending on my mental state. I hated the show Hoarders because it made a mental disorder into a sideshow for others amusement and did nothing to actually help the people struggling with it. I love the current trend of videos like this that show compassion, understanding, and a way forward. I actually watch them as motivation to push me in decluttering. I pick at least one item to declutter with each video I watch. It makes me feel less alone, understood, and able to let go. Thank you for sharing! I decluttered four books through this!
Karla, you’re allways showing so much respect, love and compassion! I didn’t know your mother was a hoarder, so that’s what it was for, to make this your life purpose! Keep doing that great work, you’re an inspiration and motivation! Many blessings!
Always the I don’t care what you do with it after, I’ll be dead. Here’s the thing. We also won’t care about your stuff after you die. We don’t care about it now. We care about you now. We want you to live where you want but it must be changed for your health. Please don’t put this on your kids that love you. YOU are stubborn NOT your kids.
When we had to move our parents, we gave our Mom different color dot stickers, we asked her to go through and color coded what was for sale, store or take with. She made all decisions in regards to this. Future series, maybe get some of those stickers and the kids can follow behind...Take care !
I honestly saw my future in this woman. Love of books, crafts, unique items.. my parents were hoarders and i always said I never would be but this is the direction I'm headed in if I don't get a grasp on it now. Going to do a declutter challenge this month and go through my insane number of books and cut down to those I love or will actually read
I listened to Swedish Death Cleaning on audiobooks. I actually listened to it twice. It helped me to realize that I would rather give things to friends and family now that they might enjoy than leave them for my distraught children to have to deal with. Books were a biggie for me too. I’m down to one bookcase👍
This was a wonderful video because no one understands how difficult it is to get rid of things that have sentimental value to the owner. To admit to being a hoarder is not only amazing, it's freeing. Other people say, just get rid of it; but to a hoarder, they know the "life" of an item or thing. It's wonderful that her son is willingly trying to help her and can understand her hesitancy but sticks by her regardless. Good luck to them both.
I scanned through a lot of the comments (not all) and didn't see anyone mention how nice your choice in music is! I've noticed in other videos how unusual it is and this one is particularly beautiful! Also, good for Joan and her son, they are both doing such a great job! And LOVE her apartment! ❤
I’m 64 & have moved / downsized several xs over the years. I love getting rid of things that no longer serve me. So liberating ! I’m still working on it: have a few things by the door rn ready to go. Have def let go of easily 1/2 my books over time ( more ?) . But I still have 2 & 1/2 largish shelves of books! I’m kinda stubborn about them : that & CDs. But I’ve easily donated at least 1/4 of my CDs, & all my vinyl. Clothes are an easy category to purge. Then there R papers. Have purged tons of that. Still more to do : decluttering is a life style for me! I do NOT want my kids to have to deal with my stuff when I’m gone !!
oh gosh...she reminds me of my grandma (not the hoarding part but the cadence!) and it makes me miss her! Congrats to everyone on the hard, hard work!!
My mother developed hoarding disorder with her Altsheimers. I am stuck in a tiny 1,5 room apartment with her. I am bedridden and we are slowly drowning in her stuff. I can't tell you how difficult this is 😭
This work is mentally as well as physically fatiguing so I admire the great forward progress that Joan has made. Wishing her all the best as she continues down her decluttering journey toward a safer environment.
Joan, what you said about older people wanting to be valued is such an impactful statement. Older people don’t want to be invisible or minimized yet so many are. I just want to let you know that you are seen and heard so perfectly in this interview. I for one will not forget it. Thank you and thanks to Carla for bringing you to us. Wishing you much luck and joy in this journey you are on!
I just want to say, I think there's a time and place for the nursing home. There are many bad ones out there, but there are good ones. If you visit you will soon find out. Cost factors aside, it's better to suss that avenue out now so you an have that contingency, because you don't know what will happen. Both of my in-laws were well take care of. They both had dementia and their needs were beyond what we could provide. MIL resisted for a long time. She said they'd carry her out of the house in a pine box but it didn't work that way. She kept having falls and then one day it was so bad the hospital would not send her home again. It took a while to settle in but once she did she'd never looked happier. Mum passed too suddenly for that stage, but Dad had a long term illness. When it reached its final stages, they made him comfortable and then he insisted on going home. It was a disaster. It was beyond my brother to take care of such high needs, so Dad went back in to hospital and it then took ages to find him a place to for palliative care because it hasn't been our focus. My last phone call with him was him going out of his mind with "hospital fever" and then he spent 2 weeks in the nursing home, unable to take visitors because he'd finally contracted Covid (after all this time). It was dreadful for us all. Then we had the mammoth task of emptying the house whilst grieving. Don't leave this for your loved ones. There is nothing wrong with planning for these situations, and if you do die peacefully at home, good for you. It's what we'd all prefer, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way. Its almost as if people feel if their stuff is in the house, then they won't be kicked out. I heard an older colleague say we don't plan for this stage of life well enough, long before I ever heard of Swedish death cleaning. Now I'm in my 50s I've started it already. I still have plenty of hobbies and children at home but I'm thinking about it, after going through both sets of households to declutter, I can't leave that task for others, and actually gives me GREATER control because I'm still fit enough to assert myself and be involved. So much nice stuff got junked out of both houses because of the pressure we were under. If you value these beautiful things, sometimes it's better to let them go.
Bless her heart! Until last year, she was taking care of her mother. Lots of memories. Her son is being very patient, although I know there will be moments when they disagree about what has to go. That's only natural. Good luck to all involved, and thanks and love to the whole community of friends that are helping her get through this. Keep up the good work, Joan!!
Wouldn’t take much for me to be a hoarder , I have caught myself doing this ,it started with food ,I vowed to never be hungry again .for a while it got bad . I have to be real disciplined. I completely understand this .
Fabulous accomplishment Joan & Todd, Carla & Friends ! Keep going ! I’ve heard it said, regarding the inventory in our homes… that if everything matters , nothing matters. But what YOU are doing is : “Making Room For What Matters Most” . ( a slogan by Dawn, aka The Minimal Mom here on y’tube). Terrific progress. I’m so impressed you got a dumpster & are on your 2nd one. I’ve helped a hoarder over the years & it’s a slow process. You have made so much significant improvement here. Well done.
Such a thoughtful and thought provoking video, Carla. I had to pause half way through to have a moment to process the nuances of this situation. I hope that Joan manages to create some space, but also to keep the things that truly mean something special to her and bring her happiness, and that she can continue to live safely in her wonderful home for many years to come 🙏🏼✨
Take a bow 🙇♀️ Joan you are doing amazing and thanks for letting us in and telling your story. With the help of your son Todd, Carla and your community you will achieve releasing more from your apartment making people happy with your items and making money too. Carla you are great to listen, encourage and motivate. I hope this is the start of a new series? Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 👏👍💪🙏💐🐶
Watching the RUclips channel "Peeling Away the Clutter" really helped me understand the challenges some face trying to declutter. A woman, Mira, documents her thought process during both good and bad days as she moves through her home one room at a time over months. Taking it at a pace she can handle, she lets others like her know they can do this too and they are OK. I love her statement "That's a problem for future me". Carla is wonderful in letting Joan express her challenges as well. In both cases progress is being made. Give yourself grace in moving forward at you own pace.
@@judithgibson8970 Love watching Mira's journey. There seems to be a lot of focus on holding on to control with hoarding. The ultimate control is doing the decluttering yourself. My Mom won't face any of it. She just laughs and says it is for me to deal with. Unfortunately my health doesn't permit that kind of labour intensive work. In the end, the house and belongings will be the banks problem.
I loved this video. It kept my attention from beginning to end. I have a tendency to rationalize and hold on to unique things, creating clutter. Carla is very kind and respectful in her approach.
I’ve been watching a channel where the mother was a hoarder and after she died the daughter is trying to clean out her mother’s house. It is so sad to see her so exhausted and overwhelmed. I’m glad that Joan is starting to clear out some of her own things and not leave it all to the son to eventually be left with. Joan will also get the pleasure of living comfortably in her space again.
Joan’s son is awesome and seems so patient. I hope I’m that patient with my mom. It’s challenging to see them change. I look at my mom and in my mind she will always be 36. It’s hard to see them not being able to do what they were used to doing in their prime.
Carla, I admire how patient and understanding you are with the people you help. I've never had such a hard time watching one of your videos. Hoarders can come across as very selfish and also as dismissive of other people, but it's obviously a very complex issue and they deserve compassion and help. You did a great job here. Having a third party like you come in undoubtably made this situation more tolerable for mother and son. I bet you were all exhausted.
So inspiring Ms. Carla... makes me wish I hadn't broken my right foot 3 weeks ago so I can get going on my own home! 😂 Upside is your videos are great, very personal and real, which helps my motivation so much. 🙂
@@TheCarlaProject IKR? It def isn't going anywhere without me to help it out the door! Is there a part 2 of this? I'd love to see it but can't find it...
Joan, I appreciate the struggle you are going through. Your home is going to be beautiful when you finish. The period architecture will shine again! Keep on keeping on!!! ❤❤❤
This is so wonderful Carla. Not only is this a fire hazard, this environment is a real falls risk. Understand that clearing out reduces her chances of falling, injuring herself and losing her independence with an injury (broken hip). She has a great personality and full of wonderful stories. Love that she is a dog person. Her son is so supportive and your can tell he really loves her and his patience is incredible. Looking forward to watching her progress❤️🐕🐕
I am amazed that Joan is doing this at her age. Most people her age give up because it is a such daunting task. I am 75, and I spent last summer working on getting stuff cleared from my garage which was packed with stuff from my Mom and Dad's house, as well as years of gardening items of my own.. Decluttering is a process, that never ends. What you can't part with today, you can let go of tomorrow. I am trying to save my family from having a hugh task after I die. My brother and I, with the help of other family members had to clean out my hoarder parents home and garage. It took forever. I am a hoarder as well, though my living space is clear, my basement and garage were over crowded. I also have storage units with more stuff. I agree with Joan thst it is a control issue. I want to review items before I let them go. I have a lot of items to entertain, dishes, glassware, silverware etc,but no one comes to my house for dinner anymore. Sometimes it is just accepting that life has moved on, and we have to change with the times. I just hope I live long enough to get this all done. Good luck, Joan. You have made wonderful progress in a very short time. 🙂🙂
This was one of the best cleanups I've seen. Thank you, Carla, for a different point of view. This will help me help my stepmom (87) who has trouble letting go.
Wow, that has the potential to be a nice apartment but right now it’s so difficult to see behind all the stuff. I hope she can uncover it. Spending her hours moving stuff from one spot to another, stepping over and around stuff must feel burdensome. I wonder does she have a vision.
It takes special people to work with those who have hoarding disorder because it's so hard on them mentally & emotionally. It may have taken the city stepping in to light some fire under her butt, but I know she'll be so happy to have the space to be creative and do what she loves ❤. May Todd be blessed for his hard work & dedication!!!
My dad passed a few years ago and I'd promised him to go through the boxes under his house. I realised after he was gone he'd kept everything-plastic spoons, wood shavings, condiment packets. -everything. I then realised he was a closet hoarder -there was a method and I understood it, but due to the volume it was overwhelming and heartbreaking. It was hard to know what was special, I had to work through guilt of not knowing, after decisions on 1000s of items I know i missed things, but I know I did my best. Joan, thank you for your courage. But you won't take it with you dear and large volumes of stuff makes it harder for your family to know what was cherished vs what was great to have. Best wishes on your declutter journey, it will make a huge difference to your life and the freedom you will discover xx
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Carla you’re such a bright light in our world today. Thank you so much ☺️ ❤
Surprised no one's thanking the son in the comments. He deserves all the praise. Thanks to the son for all his hard work. He's incredible! She should be grateful she has someone to help her.
Yes , for him the whole thing must be so tedious. I felt so bad for him.I think no one wants to be rude to Joan I guess.
And the fact she cared for her mom until 105! They have a legacy of caring in this family ❤
Yeah. I feel for him. When she said: "when i die, someone else can deal with it." That triggered something in me. My mom says the same, and i am an only child. So because she doesn't want to spend her time and go through it and deal with it, she pushes that burden onto me. I think it is selfish and irresponsible to be completely honest.
As a 73 year old, i am trying to keep up with my stuff/ treasures. I also have many interests and enjoy thrift shopping, however, I understand the safety factor involved with too many objects and health. This lovely lady has been through a lot of emotions with her mother’s care and then passing. Aging is not for the faint of heart and frankly, kind of scary. Patience and understanding go a long way. AND, her son, Carla and the other helpers should be commended for being so helpful. They are just trying to help her be able to stay and enjoy her home safely. Bless all of you for “adulting”.
He was so respectful. He realized he had to operate on a slow timetable even though that's not how he would have done it. She might not realize her danger of eviction but he does.
Kudos to Joan’s son, you, and her neighbors for helping her. It’s not easy.
Joan my parents left it for their kids to do after they were gone. That’s not fair to the kids. It was so much work and I resented it. Doing it now is a gift to them later. I’m doing it for my sons now so they won’t have to do it when I’m gone. Once it’s out of the house I don’t miss it one bit. Life isn’t about stuff. I love my family too much to leave that burden on them.
Yes, that is the loving, unselfish way of doing it. Grief is hard enough without the burden of cleaning up a hoarded home.
I am 66 years and a hoarder! I tell my husband and family that I am taking everything with me when I pass away! I am watching Joan & her Son for inspiration for dealing with my own mess!
🙏 Mom passed during Covid. She had an antiques & collector shop for 20 years. She closed the shop 10 years before she passed. I cleaned out her condo & got it ready to sell…donated TONS & still brought back stuff to fill up 2 of my bedrooms🤦🏻♀️ it’s 4 years later & I’m down to 1/2 a room. Please 🙏❣️ cull through it so your loved ones don’t have to🙏
Thank you Joan for allowing Carla into your home and film for the internet! So many of our grandparents have the same struggle. You are not alone.
I have down sized my belonging. I don't want my kids to have to deal with my mess when I am gone. They will be grieving and I want them to have the time and space to do so.
Thoughtful.👍
As an only child, I implore you don't leave it for your kids to have to handle. It's is like pouring alcohol onto a gapping wound. They have already lost you, and now they have the large task to go through all of your things. Everything is not special. It, in fact, becomes so overwhelming that it all becomes trash.
This, this needs to be said 👏Too much stuff, especially when recovering from a loss of a loved one, does become trash and later possibly a regret. I absolutely appreciate that we're all different but I'd personally love for everyone to at least consider what will happen when they're no longer around.
I absolutely agree! Right now I am decluttering myself and my mom sees me detaching from things and I hope she does the same. I’m not a person attached to stuff because I know this stuff is not mine and if I’m not using it why not allow someone else benefit from it.
I have these conversations with my mom and she doesn’t listen or even know how anxious it makes me feel that her bedroom is so cluttered that I fear I’ll be the one dealing with it if something happens to her, I’ve voiced this to her because my cousins went through it with her sister after her passing to the point that we almost lost one to suicide because of the overwhelming feeling of loss and then memories and doing the decluttering of the things of someone you love.
Yes and be HONEST with your family l've already nagged my family and told them a million times l don't want to have to clean up their Crap lol
I think no one has ever made me understand so clearly as lovely Joan did, what it means to clear a hoarder house.
It has so much to do with respect, respecting other peoples values.
And it becomes a balancing act between respect and necessity and understanding. Like her son said: it's a giving and taking.
It will give me a lot to think about.
Thank you Joan.
Thank you Carla.
I am a senior and living in a smaller home in retirement. The only thing that helped me was to start with a clean, freshly painted empty room, add my furniture and shelves and then start bringing in my favorite things and stop when it started to feel full. Once I could see my spaces without a lot of stuff I liked it. She will enjoy her spaces when done, my best to her. Haha I was a telephone operator too!!
This is a great point. It's a very different experience to choose the things I really want and love, and put it into a clean, clear room. Then I can just let the rest go.
True! That‘s how I declutter a closet or a drawer: clean slate then asking „what is worth it to take the space?“ ❤
I like that idea. It's the same with rehabbing a house. Get one room done, not bits and pieces of everything. Your mind needs to see order.
@@bernadette573 A lot of it is a mind game. It helped my brain to be positive and pick out the things I loved. Just looking at a bunch of stuff and choosing what needed to go was very hard for me.
Sounds like an addition to the moving declutter method. Pack things up to see what you take out after a set amount of time. You know what you love
The son is being so kind. Ruined the relationship with my mom over stuff like this. Joan your son is more important than all the garage sale stuff crammed in your house. Let him help you. He is not your enemy and he wants you to be free to keep living in a nice place. It truly is up to you if you can keep living there or be moved into a one room nursing home. Our stuff is not what defines us.
Carla, the way you are speaking to Joan is so respectful and understanding. Joan, you are doing an incredible job!! 👏
Oh Carla, this is a bittersweet video for me. Last year, we had to declutter my 85 year old dad’s home because it was at a severe hoarder level and had become very unsafe. Now I am working on my in-law’s home (they are also in their 80’s), which is more clean but still full of stuff and it is so incredibly hard to do it in a respectful way. I feel for Tod and Joan. I applaud them for even being willing to try to move forward in an effort to clean up her home. You were so sweet to Joan, I know that she felt heard and validated so thank you for being kind. Keep helping people, you are a gem.
Her son is a good human with lots of love and patience for his mom ❤️. Praying more progress is made for her sake, and for his. P.S. her art collection is fantastic.
As an LA native, I am IN AWE of her awesome apartment! Private staircase, rooftop, sun room, 2 bedrooms and what seems like a lot of little special nooks. ❤ Plus, I know it's under RSO based on some of the architectural features I saw... I hope she keeps going (she's doing great!) and can soon fully enjoy the wonderful layout of that special apartment in her remaining years ❤
Yes gorgeous home in the best neighborhood it’s a dream place!!
I am the opposite of Joan, I'm terrified of leaving my daughters a bunch of stuff that will take up so much emotional energy when I'm gone. so glad to see Joan is working on the journey😊
That is very considerate and loving of you.
That is wonderful
Me too, age 65 and Swedish Death Cleaning gently as fast as I can x
That is me. I decluttered for a year, moved to a smaller house and decluttered another two years. I have nothing in storage now, not even one plastic tote.
This models respect for the people designated to clear your belongings.
That poor son! He’s tried his best. He loves his mother so much.
Local libraries will accept Dvd movies and CDs for donation. This way hundreds of folks can enjoy this media. Instead of it sitting on the shelves in the apartment, left to b be unused.
My local library also will accept books sold (in stores) within the last 5 years or less. They will either be added to their collection or sold in their annual book fair that raises funds for year round library prograns.
Please ask your local library before you take the items there. I'm a librarian and know not all libraries accept donations.
Joan.....What a vibrant woman you are....I'm so glad you are willing to make room for YOUR fun activities.....I've been a librarian for almost 35 years......sadly...the times...they are a changing.......breaks my little librarian heart.....but.....clear those books out...to make room for the activities you really love!!!! It's ok!!!!!!!!!
I hope we see a follow up with Joan! She seems like a sweet lady and although she has a lot of things it sounds like she is a collector and some of the pieces in her home are so unique. Would love to see her apartment more "curated".
It is apparent to me that Todd loves Joan, and the most important “thing” in the apartment is Joan. Keep up the good work Joan! Then, Todd can continue to return blessings and assist you in your many years ahead. That’s what Mom’s do; make the way for their kids to shine!
My parents had a lot of stuff too. They weren't perfect, they were people. I miss them and all their imperfections. Well most of them, lol.
Joan, thank you for helping me how to help my 92 year old mother clean out her condo in a respectful way. I loved listening to you talk.
Thank you Joan. I had an aunt that was about 82 when she passed. Her house resembled yours. Tons of books, art, dolls, jewelry. She loved beautiful things and was an artist as well. She became ill and when the ambulance came they could barely get through. Of course, they intervened and she had to clear out at least a clear pathway through her living spaces to get to her out in an emergency. My cousin got everything in his path and put it in black trash bags and put them in the carport. She didn’t allow him to trash it until she was able to go through the bags. My sister and I tried to help her. We cleaned around the clutter and asked her if it was ok to throw certain things away. She had nice dreams of sending books to poor areas in her childhood town. But unfortunately she was unable to do so. On one of my sisters visits she had found her taking her final rest. I hope that her family took the time to go through the items and saved at least her photos. She was the family historian. But honestly it would’ve been a daunting task. A friend of hers told me that 3 big trash containers took away all her things that were unclaimed by her children. 😢 I thought it was really sad. I empathize because I’m a collector too. And I would never want anyone to come into my home and remove things willy nilly. Currently, my dad is in his 80’s and I see how he upset he gets when I tell him things like, dad, you don’t need this anymore, can you get rid of it. It’s terribly upsetting for both of us. I want to see him in a nice safe home in his golden years. But I think you hit the nail on the head, we are taking away control. And for someone that has spent the last 50+ years collecting what some may see as trash, it’s his life’s work. I would be so upset if someone came into my home and threw everything away. I will continue to help him as best as I can and respect his decisions because we need to honor his wishes. I wish you much luck on your journey Joan. And I hope you continue to let Carla share your progress. It’s so helpful for us struggling with these same issues. ❤ Thank you Carla. And thank you Todd and kind neighbors. Your love and patience for Joan is beautiful.
Beautifully said. Thank you for sharing your personal stories. It puts it so much perspective! God bless you as you walk through each step with your father in the times ahead! You are loved!
All this!
Thank for the grace and kindness you show these people in your life. Change takes time and patience. Especially for old people. Things mean more to us because we were raised to value everything we own. We worked hard to accumulate these things.. it is hard to detach from them. Everthing has memories attached. Chage is a process. Hopefully you Dad will accept help and be able to live happily with less stuff. Good luck.
Thank you for sharing your story. I am 70 and have been downsizing my possessions the past few years. I'm delighted when I find someone in need of something I have.
It's really not easy. Sometimes, you have to make tough decisions for your loved one's health and safety. Knowing when it's time: to take away the car keys; when piles of stuff pose a walking hazard; when pests enter the home; when important documents can't be easily located. It takes time, effort, money, and, most importantly love/respect to remedy the situation. Been there.
This is tough, but I feel like you have to think about your kids. When you're no longer here, it's too much to bear... dealing with the loss of a parent and then having to deal with a mess.
I completely agree. Parents owe that to their children.
Thank you, Joan, for sharing your home with us. Carla is the perfect person to help you accomplish your goal. Sending nothing but good vibes your way. ❤
My mom left me and my sister only a bunch of clothes and some sentimental knick knacks. She always said that she didnt want her kids to be overwhelmed with stuff when she passed.
Wow, this woman has a lot of beautiful things. She doesn't seem to be an average hoarder. God Bless her to go through this at her age. She knows she has to make changes! I hope she lives 20 more years in her organized apartment.
In one week she did a great job and made good progress. I’m glad Carla is there to help.
I adore books and had as many as Joan, but I had a major shift in my mindset about keeping them.
Once I’ve read the book and it sits on my shelf it’s no longer telling it’s story to anybody. A book is like a river, it needs to flow and not get stagnant. I made the decision to give all my books to a book seller. Yes, they make money out of it. But the great thing is that each book will be bought by another person and therefore the book’s story lives on. Isn’t that what story telling is all about, passing it on?
This is a beautiful way of thinking!
I'm glad that her son was willing and able to spend so much time helping her keep her home as it appears that she had at least one other child. And her neighbors came together to help her. So lovely that they all rallied around her. Hopefully her mindset changes about leaving everything for her children to deal with when she's gone as that robs them and creates resentment and anger towards her. And they trash eveything. And loose anything that they may love later that would remind them of their mother and love for her. 💔
Joan, what a lovely lady you are! Like many others, I appreciate you allowing us into your home, and enlightening us on what it’s like for you, as a parent, as an older person, as a self-proclaimed hoarder.
I LOVE that you have so many hobbies, and are talented. You deserve to stay in your home, and to be safe and comfortable in it. The progress you’ve made is tremendous, and I look forward to seeing and learning more about you and the beautiful end result.
Very well said!❤❤ I agree with your great comment!❤
Me too ✋️
It's very brave of her to be on camera during this process. Seeing the "decluttering" book in the middle of all these things speaks volumes. I hope she can get her "things" to a manageable amount and heal & grow in the process.
Thank you for letting her share HER story. The way she explains her thought process and feelings makes such sense! Often times it seems like people don't want to understand the hoarder's pov because they're so tunnel visioned on their own perspectives.
The garage is a great asset. It it seems like it would help a lot to move the things that she is ready to part with down to the garage, to get them out of sight and to create the space she will know doubt enjoy.
Joan-the things you said are just what my 89 year old mom says. She doesn't want to be told-she wants to make the decisions. I think we, as her children, are helping by directing but you made it clearer. (and I think you understand better from other people not related to you when your parents are driving you crazy). Thank you for sharing. Carla, you are such a wonderful person. I hope we get to see Joan's house when she is done. BTW my mom is Joan too.
I feel for her son, he has a big job ahead of him. Lucky woman she had a loving son who has to clean up all the hoarding. She mentioned Control. Time is running out. Great woman but selfish I send him strength and love. ❤
I can really relate to Joan. I'm not quite 81 yrs old yet..but I am in the process of downsizing and decluttering. It is so hard to do this alone. It is also difficult to explain why ppl hoard. We just do it & sometimes we need ppl to help us. Carla is the perfect person to help with this project. Joan I don't think you will be disappointed in the end. I wish you much success.🙏🏽💕
Thanks for the great video Carla
I feel for the son Todd.
What a champ to be patient and he kept carrying on with the decluttering
I’m so glad my parents had very little in their house.
I’m so glad the Swedish death cleaning came out as I have very little in my house
Great Patience Carla
Well done 👍
Australia 🇦🇺 👍👍👍👍👍👍
Need a Follow Up from this video!❤❤❤ much good well wishes for her and her family.
Do we know how this lady is doing? I agree the son was brilliant and so patient. ❤
I absolutely understand how Joan wants to look through and sort the treasures she has taken a lifetime to collect. Bless her looking after her Mother until she was 105. That is incredible when we know Joan’s age. My 93 year old Aunty is a collector of treasures also. Family are having a go at her all the time. She finds it very upsetting. I’m not a hoarder but I respect her life choice. I have assisted her to let go of some of her treasures because I give her time to go through them, talk about them and then make the decision. ❤️🌺
Joan is so articulate and her expressing her feelings so beautifully is so sweet and she is doing great at her own pace! I can’t wait to see the progress going forward. ❤
This was my mother in laws house. She passed two years ago and my husband brought so much of it into our house. 😢 I’m hoping in a few years when we move he will be ready to let go so this isn’t me in 40yrs. Joan is lovely and I loved my MIL but it’s hard to be left with so much stuff to deal with. I’m glad to see her work through some of this while she’s still here. ❤
I think in time it will be easier to let it go. Try to honor the stuff you do for sure want to keep, maybe that will make it easier to let go of the rest.
Nice work to Joan and Todd! 👏👏
Her son seems so helpful. I hope she appreciates his time and help with this. Our neighbour ended up in a nursing home because she fell in her clutter and broke her hip. She had no family to help. Hoarders can’t see the danger in the clutter ☹️. I wish them luck!
At least she is willing to turn loose to some things and has a great attitude about all this. Seems to be a vibrant person. As for her son, he is a super hero. I can imagine how hard this is on him. He’s a loving son. Amazing story.
I speak as a hoarder, and as someone overcoming it as well. I think the biggest problem in overcoming the hoarding is I had to feel the overwhelm of all the stuff.
If you don't feel it, you don't see it.
I also needed to experience the exhaustion from clearing it all, that drives home the determination to keep on top of it, and to appreciate the "clean" feeling an uncluttered home feels like.
I think selling stuff might create a monster in Joan, she'll start buying stuff to make money.
Joan probably came from a time where she didn't have anything, there was no such thing as clutter, no one could afford it. Having all this stuff around gives her security in its value, the memories give her value, but the benefits in clearing it all out is tenfold in comparison.
It's a huge thing for Joan to allow to happen, takes a lot of courage and swallowing pride and it's a massive, overwhelming job for Todd.
Hope they get on top of it
I love all the colors being revealed in her walls and art as she and Todd have cleared spaces in Joan’s home. I can tell it’s a bright and happy home. It’s so great that she can see the vision of more open and usuable spaces. You’re doing great, Joan! And thanks for sharing your space with us!
This has so inspired me I have just subscribed, am 63 and in UK just starting my own decluttering journey and have taken so much from this video, thank you Joan for being brave enough to share x
Well done to Joan for accepting help and therapy. Thats huge! Todd is amazingly patient as well. Great video as always Carla
Joan’s home is her sanctuary and to move her would be the end of her. She has lived a wonderfully full life and her apartment holds memories galore. The fact that so many people are helping is great, a community that cares is heartwarming. Todd is a good son to come all that way to help his mom. Wishing them both many happy decades ahead. Joan by her count has 26 years to live and enjoy life. Thank you Carla for your kind empathetic support.
Carla, as you were showing Joan's apartment, there was a framed embroidery of a woman reading a letter. My mother, who has passed away, embroidered this same piece. I have it hanging in my family room. Please tell Joan this. This is the first time that I have ever seen another one. It warmed my heart to see it in her home.
Hoarding disorder runs in my family. It has waxed and waned in my life depending on my mental state. I hated the show Hoarders because it made a mental disorder into a sideshow for others amusement and did nothing to actually help the people struggling with it. I love the current trend of videos like this that show compassion, understanding, and a way forward. I actually watch them as motivation to push me in decluttering. I pick at least one item to declutter with each video I watch. It makes me feel less alone, understood, and able to let go. Thank you for sharing! I decluttered four books through this!
Karla, you’re allways showing so much respect, love and compassion! I didn’t know your mother was a hoarder, so that’s what it was for, to make this your life purpose! Keep doing that great work, you’re an inspiration and motivation! Many blessings!
I meant to write Carla with a C ! Apologies!
Always the I don’t care what you do with it after, I’ll be dead. Here’s the thing. We also won’t care about your stuff after you die. We don’t care about it now. We care about you now. We want you to live where you want but it must be changed for your health. Please don’t put this on your kids that love you. YOU are stubborn NOT your kids.
When we had to move our parents, we gave our Mom different color dot stickers, we asked her to go through and color coded what was for sale, store or take with. She made all decisions in regards to this. Future series, maybe get some of those stickers and the kids can follow behind...Take care !
I honestly saw my future in this woman. Love of books, crafts, unique items.. my parents were hoarders and i always said I never would be but this is the direction I'm headed in if I don't get a grasp on it now. Going to do a declutter challenge this month and go through my insane number of books and cut down to those I love or will actually read
Joan has some beautiful things
I listened to Swedish Death Cleaning on audiobooks. I actually listened to it twice. It helped me to realize that I would rather give things to friends and family now that they might enjoy than leave them for my distraught children to have to deal with. Books were a biggie for me too. I’m down to one bookcase👍
This was a wonderful video because no one understands how difficult it is to get rid of things that have sentimental value to the owner. To admit to being a hoarder is not only amazing, it's freeing. Other people say, just get rid of it; but to a hoarder, they know the "life" of an item or thing. It's wonderful that her son is willingly trying to help her and can understand her hesitancy but sticks by her regardless. Good luck to them both.
Such a stressful situation for everyone. Wishing you all the best with your decluttering progress!
I scanned through a lot of the comments (not all) and didn't see anyone mention how nice your choice in music is! I've noticed in other videos how unusual it is and this one is particularly beautiful! Also, good for Joan and her son, they are both doing such a great job! And LOVE her apartment! ❤
Excellent Video! Thanks so much.
I’m 64 & have moved / downsized several xs over the years. I love getting rid of things that no longer serve me. So liberating ! I’m still working on it: have a few things by the door rn ready to go. Have def let go of easily 1/2 my books over time ( more ?) . But I still have 2 & 1/2 largish shelves of books! I’m kinda stubborn about them : that & CDs. But I’ve easily donated at least 1/4 of my CDs, & all my vinyl. Clothes are an easy category to purge. Then there R papers. Have purged tons of that. Still more to do : decluttering is a life style for me! I do NOT want my kids to have to deal with my stuff when I’m gone !!
What a brave woman! Her confidence is lovely :) And Todd is a good son!
oh gosh...she reminds me of my grandma (not the hoarding part but the cadence!) and it makes me miss her! Congrats to everyone on the hard, hard work!!
My mother developed hoarding disorder with her Altsheimers. I am stuck in a tiny 1,5 room apartment with her. I am bedridden and we are slowly drowning in her stuff. I can't tell you how difficult this is 😭
Doing good Joan , thank goodness Todd is willing and able to help 🎉
Love her. One step at a time. Glad you were there through the process. ❤❤
That son❤❤❤
Please don't forget to donate books to libraries :)
This work is mentally as well as physically fatiguing so I admire the great forward progress that Joan has made. Wishing her all the best as she continues down her decluttering journey toward a safer environment.
Joan, what you said about older people wanting to be valued is such an impactful statement. Older people don’t want to be invisible or minimized yet so many are. I just want to let you know that you are seen and heard so perfectly in this interview. I for one will not forget it. Thank you and thanks to Carla for bringing you to us. Wishing you much luck and joy in this journey you are on!
I just want to say, I think there's a time and place for the nursing home. There are many bad ones out there, but there are good ones. If you visit you will soon find out. Cost factors aside, it's better to suss that avenue out now so you an have that contingency, because you don't know what will happen. Both of my in-laws were well take care of. They both had dementia and their needs were beyond what we could provide. MIL resisted for a long time. She said they'd carry her out of the house in a pine box but it didn't work that way. She kept having falls and then one day it was so bad the hospital would not send her home again. It took a while to settle in but once she did she'd never looked happier.
Mum passed too suddenly for that stage, but Dad had a long term illness. When it reached its final stages, they made him comfortable and then he insisted on going home. It was a disaster. It was beyond my brother to take care of such high needs, so Dad went back in to hospital and it then took ages to find him a place to for palliative care because it hasn't been our focus. My last phone call with him was him going out of his mind with "hospital fever" and then he spent 2 weeks in the nursing home, unable to take visitors because he'd finally contracted Covid (after all this time). It was dreadful for us all. Then we had the mammoth task of emptying the house whilst grieving. Don't leave this for your loved ones.
There is nothing wrong with planning for these situations, and if you do die peacefully at home, good for you. It's what we'd all prefer, but sometimes it doesn't work out that way.
Its almost as if people feel if their stuff is in the house, then they won't be kicked out.
I heard an older colleague say we don't plan for this stage of life well enough, long before I ever heard of Swedish death cleaning. Now I'm in my 50s I've started it already. I still have plenty of hobbies and children at home but I'm thinking about it, after going through both sets of households to declutter, I can't leave that task for others, and actually gives me GREATER control because I'm still fit enough to assert myself and be involved. So much nice stuff got junked out of both houses because of the pressure we were under. If you value these beautiful things, sometimes it's better to let them go.
Bless her heart! Until last year, she was taking care of her mother. Lots of memories. Her son is being very patient, although I know there will be moments when they disagree about what has to go. That's only natural. Good luck to all involved, and thanks and love to the whole community of friends that are helping her get through this. Keep up the good work, Joan!!
Wouldn’t take much for me to be a hoarder , I have caught myself doing this ,it started with food ,I vowed to never be hungry again .for a while it got bad . I have to be real disciplined. I completely understand this .
Thank You Joan for sharing this with us.
Fabulous accomplishment Joan & Todd, Carla & Friends ! Keep going ! I’ve heard it said, regarding the inventory in our homes… that if everything matters , nothing matters. But what YOU are doing is : “Making Room For What Matters Most” . ( a slogan by Dawn, aka The Minimal Mom here on y’tube).
Terrific progress.
I’m so impressed you got a dumpster & are on your 2nd one. I’ve helped a hoarder over the years & it’s a slow process. You have made so much significant improvement here. Well done.
Such a thoughtful and thought provoking video, Carla. I had to pause half way through to have a moment to process the nuances of this situation. I hope that Joan manages to create some space, but also to keep the things that truly mean something special to her and bring her happiness, and that she can continue to live safely in her wonderful home for many years to come 🙏🏼✨
Would love an update.
Take a bow 🙇♀️ Joan you are doing amazing and thanks for letting us in and telling your story. With the help of your son Todd, Carla and your community you will achieve releasing more from your apartment making people happy with your items and making money too. Carla you are great to listen, encourage and motivate. I hope this is the start of a new series? Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 👏👍💪🙏💐🐶
She's very spritely. Todd did a great job. Lovely to hear the neighbours came out to help
I’m a hoarder I get it. It’s hard and most people don’t understand.
Watching the RUclips channel "Peeling Away the Clutter" really helped me understand the challenges some face trying to declutter. A woman, Mira, documents her thought process during both good and bad days as she moves through her home one room at a time over months. Taking it at a pace she can handle, she lets others like her know they can do this too and they are OK. I love her statement "That's a problem for future me". Carla is wonderful in letting Joan express her challenges as well. In both cases progress is being made. Give yourself grace in moving forward at you own pace.
@@judithgibson8970 Love watching Mira's journey. There seems to be a lot of focus on holding on to control with hoarding. The ultimate control is doing the decluttering yourself. My Mom won't face any of it. She just laughs and says it is for me to deal with. Unfortunately my health doesn't permit that kind of labour intensive work. In the end, the house and belongings will be the banks problem.
Would love to see a follow-up with Joan in the future!
I loved this video. It kept my attention from beginning to end. I have a tendency to rationalize and hold on to unique things, creating clutter. Carla is very kind and respectful in her approach.
I’ve been watching a channel where the mother was a hoarder and after she died the daughter is trying to clean out her mother’s house. It is so sad to see her so exhausted and overwhelmed. I’m glad that Joan is starting to clear out some of her own things and not leave it all to the son to eventually be left with. Joan will also get the pleasure of living comfortably in her space again.
And if she does it now, she has a chance to tell others the story that goes along with items that are really special to her.
Joan’s son is awesome and seems so patient. I hope I’m that patient with my mom. It’s challenging to see them change. I look at my mom and in my mind she will always be 36. It’s hard to see them not being able to do what they were used to doing in their prime.
Carla, I admire how patient and understanding you are with the people you help. I've never had such a hard time watching one of your videos. Hoarders can come across as very selfish and also as dismissive of other people, but it's obviously a very complex issue and they deserve compassion and help. You did a great job here. Having a third party like you come in undoubtably made this situation more tolerable for mother and son. I bet you were all exhausted.
So inspiring Ms. Carla... makes me wish I hadn't broken my right foot 3 weeks ago so I can get going on my own home! 😂 Upside is your videos are great, very personal and real, which helps my motivation so much. 🙂
Oh no!! Well rest up heal and stuff will be there to tackle when you’re all mended 😄❤️
@@TheCarlaProject IKR? It def isn't going anywhere without me to help it out the door! Is there a part 2 of this? I'd love to see it but can't find it...
Joan, I appreciate the struggle you are going through. Your home is going to be beautiful when you finish. The period architecture will shine again! Keep on keeping on!!! ❤❤❤
This is so wonderful Carla. Not only is this a fire hazard, this environment is a real falls risk. Understand that clearing out reduces her chances of falling, injuring herself and losing her independence with an injury (broken hip). She has a great personality and full of wonderful stories. Love that she is a dog person. Her son is so supportive and your can tell he really loves her and his patience is incredible. Looking forward to watching her progress❤️🐕🐕
I am amazed that Joan is doing this at her age. Most people her age give up because it is a such daunting task. I am 75, and I spent last summer working on getting stuff cleared from my garage which was packed with stuff from my Mom and Dad's house, as well as years of gardening items of my own.. Decluttering is a process, that never ends. What you can't part with today, you can let go of tomorrow. I am trying to save my family from having a hugh task after I die. My brother and I, with the help of other family members had to clean out my hoarder parents home and garage. It took forever. I am a hoarder as well, though my living space is clear, my basement and garage were over crowded. I also have storage units with more stuff. I agree with Joan thst it is a control issue. I want to review items before I let them go. I have a lot of items to entertain, dishes, glassware, silverware etc,but no one comes to my house for dinner anymore. Sometimes it is just accepting that life has moved on, and we have to change with the times. I just hope I live long enough to get this all done. Good luck, Joan. You have made wonderful progress in a very short time. 🙂🙂
Well done to you for starting on the process! Every thing you do is progress ❤
Great start, Joan! Thank you for allowing your son and Carla to help you to make your home a safe place where you can live and be happy.😊
Carla, I hope you give us a Joan update on a few months.
This was one of the best cleanups I've seen. Thank you, Carla, for a different point of view. This will help me help my stepmom (87) who has trouble letting go.
Glad it was helpful!❤️
Wow, that has the potential to be a nice apartment but right now it’s so difficult to see behind all the stuff. I hope she can uncover it. Spending her hours moving stuff from one spot to another, stepping over and around stuff must feel burdensome. I wonder does she have a vision.
Once I read a book, I give it away to someone else to enjoy it. 😊 she is a sweetheart 💕
It takes special people to work with those who have hoarding disorder because it's so hard on them mentally & emotionally. It may have taken the city stepping in to light some fire under her butt, but I know she'll be so happy to have the space to be creative and do what she loves ❤. May Todd be blessed for his hard work & dedication!!!
Hoarders should watch all the clean out and cleaning shows they can, it really helps me.
My dad passed a few years ago and I'd promised him to go through the boxes under his house. I realised after he was gone he'd kept everything-plastic spoons, wood shavings, condiment packets. -everything. I then realised he was a closet hoarder -there was a method and I understood it, but due to the volume it was overwhelming and heartbreaking. It was hard to know what was special, I had to work through guilt of not knowing, after decisions on 1000s of items I know i missed things, but I know I did my best.
Joan, thank you for your courage. But you won't take it with you dear and large volumes of stuff makes it harder for your family to know what was cherished vs what was great to have. Best wishes on your declutter journey, it will make a huge difference to your life and the freedom you will discover xx