There is a formula for happiness - but it’s highly misunderstood | Arthur Brooks
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- Опубликовано: 23 июл 2024
- “Happiness is NOT about feelings.” Harvard happiness expert Arthur Brooks debunks the biggest myths about humanity’s most sought-after state, and explains how to actually get it.
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How does one become truly happy? Arthur Brooks, author and Harvard professor, explains.
Throughout his career, Brooks has pinpointed the essence of real happiness. His key insight? Happiness is not just a feeling, it’s a state of mind.
In this interview, Brooks shares three primary elements of well-being, and explains how each one - enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning - contributes to your own happiness factor. Enjoyment, he explains, involves more than mere pleasure-it’s about shared experiences and lasting memories. Satisfaction arises from overcoming challenges, and meaning comes from understanding life’s coherence, significance, and purpose.
Brooks further breaks down the pursuits that genuinely contribute to happiness: faith, family, friendship, and meaningful work. He stresses that happiness is not a final destination but a continuous direction. By focusing on these core aspects, we can build a fulfilling and happier life.
Read the full video transcript: bigthink.com/the-well/debunki...
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Happiness is confused with dopamine, like love is confused with the act in the bedroom, like freedom is confused with safety, like ...
Fr. It's so true..
Denial is confused with inner peace, barganing is confused with a coping mechanism, anger is confused with more anger, depression is confused with a not so easy path, kinda reminds me of veritassium latest video title, "ppl choose pain" or something...
LMAO the west learns what happiness is
@@pulse3554get over yourself and get cultured
@@pulse3554 while the non-west is playing catchup in economic terms
Happiness Essentials
1. Something to do
2.Something or Someone to love
3.something to hope for.
-Ikigai
The Japanese secret to a long and happy life.
Hector Garcia
Who is Ikigae?
Japanese in general are not happy. Look at suicidal rate and declining population.
@@marcelhaik8035It’s a quote from a book. Ikigai means a reason to live.
TIME magazine devoted an entire issue to this topic. On the cover they summarized it in five words: RELATIONSHIPS, EXERCISE, INNER LIFE, DIET, and MEDITATION.
Proper diet and exercise are essential. Whenever I get blue, I go for a long walk in nature and I immediately feel better; it's even more effective If I go with a friend.
LMAO the west learns what happiness is
funny. I am completely happy in life, I have a 100% fullfilled life in any aspect I can think of. I am perfectly happy, satisfied, motivated and fullfilled with friends, family, energy, activities and sport.
I never meditated a minute in life and my diet is mediocrre
Community is very important.
And very lacking today !
yeah I think we can replace family with community bc based on this video people without families are just screwed.
Something is missing. When you don’t have self love, you can have all these things and ruin them.
My personal 3 for happiness are:
1. Self love
2. Relaxing in the now
3. Appreciating the good.
At 2:00 he used the term “well being” interchangeably with “happiness” as “The 3 macronutrients of happiness” came up on the screen. This the key happiness = well being.
Im in a place where im lacking everything in the list. Im making all efforts to change my situation but I cant. Still, ill persist. This video, with its sinple definations, is a good starting point.
Why can’t you change your situation?
We wish you the best of luck ❤ You can do this!
I hear you. I wish you lots of love success and enjoyment in your life as you are very very courageous
Similar. I m in a similar position as i m in a transition period and its tough
Me too man! It's time to make those changes- time shouldn't be wasted!
I contracted a post viral disease in 2020 that crippled me physically and mentally. I lost everything. EVERYTHING. Four plus years later I’m still a million miles away from being healthy, but, I’m happier than ever. My life is much slower, more focused, more intentional and authentic. I recognize and accept the negative aspects and I appreciate the right things. I’m much more patient, much better at communicating, and I have much more empathy and compassion for all life - especially humans. Essentially every human gets up and does their best each day. I no longer suffer abusers or fools, I can see through the darkness and lies of the maga crowd and bullies like Trump.
Long covid destroyed me, but, it also kinda saved me.
I'm glad that you found happiness despite everything you have gone thru
You ruin all good things in your conviction by saying maga bullies and mocking Trump. You are falsely happy. You support Biden? Why you hate Trump? Edit your conviction.
Pursuit of purpose gives satisfaction.
'Serving other people' is so important! I had a morally unethical job in the past, which made me hate myself. I'm working in healthcare now and it's much more satisfying. We're social animals, which means that we are programmed to love each other. Unfortunately, we are sometimes also very good in convincing others that bad things are okay/normal/good.
Serving yourself is also, if not more important, because most of the time others don't care for you. Sadly the litmus test is in bad times that shows who stays on your side.
LMAO the west learns what happiness is
@@skjelm6363 why do you depend so much on others
@@sudarshansharma9807 I think you didn't get what I said.
@@skjelm6363 elaborate
I love the message behind this- it’s both practical and spiritual-a philosophy I can get behind ❤
We're so happy you're here! Thanks for watching!
Contentment over ‘happiness’
Exactly. Happiness is a feeling contentment is homeostasis. Everyone should push towards homeostasis and not happiness.
Thank you for the great video.
What is meaning of life? It is to be alive. Like Eckhart Tolle says, live in the NOW, be aware of consciousness underlying everything that happens. Doing something for satisfaction based on meaning or consciousness means double satisfaction. 😊
Well said! Thanks for being here!
I don’t know if family and friends should be separated. Maybe the word ‘connection’ is better. Not everyone is blessed with a family that works for them.
That’s an interesting point. I try to “be there” for the family I was born into, but relationships with them don’t bring me joy. One can always create their own family. And family is how you define it, not the classical definition.
The popular contemporary view that family just doesn't "work" and should therefore be discarded when there's even slight disagreement is part of the problem.
People shouldn't and don't have to tolerate mistreatment, be it from family or otherwise, but there's a lot in between everything being perfect with your family relationships and everything being terrible. That nuance has been lost in an era where people view even mild disagreements as an affront to their existence. Yeah, family isn't always perfect, but nobody is. You aren't, I'm not, and nor is anyone else reading this comment.
@@Cryponymous no one is perfect. But some families have a history of abuse or toxicity and no one should judge another by what they will and will not accept.
@@Cryponymouswell, it’s your opinion that many people break family ties for what are minor reasons. You’re thinking for them - I believe people generally are very able to know what’s a good reason to break ties and what isn’t.
@@Infinitynow696exactly
Instead of seeking it , why unatead being aware when it happens.....that soft feeling that arises and makes us feel that everyting is in the right place ..ma small pause in time....when everyting stands still for a bruef moment....i truly believe that is what happens when you are falling in love. Everything stops.
Relationships and other people are out of our control and should be left out of the equation- you don’t need another person. Being alone is different than loneliness. Loneliness is a scam and only in the mind. You could be with an animal and get more emotional benefit than being with another human.
True right now I don't have any friends or partner but inside I'm peaceful and like someone said happiness is simply the end of seeking.
I had to sit for like 5 mins after to really let it sink in. The fact that pleasure and happiness isn’t the same seems like such an obvious conclusion but I had never though of them as separate entities
Loved it.
In the years I was recently depressed I would call this shite to enhance depression. Now that I'm no longer depressed I feel the same way.
Awesome video.
My happiness was very purposefully ripped out of me after coming out to my smilingly vicious fundamentalist christian siblings. They attacked me & still are, 4 decades later. I've put up guards & boundaries but the damage that they inflicted on me has never been remotely healed. Medication has helped. Friends have helped. HUMANISTIC therapy has helped. But my respect for people who take control & leave this planet has grown extremely.
Thank You for this . ❤
Thank you for being here ❤
I keep asking myself what does it matter that I am alive? That's a really difficult one
Thanks I appreciate your content
And we appreciate your comment! Thanks for being here!
I needed this advice
We're glad it found you. Thanks for being here!
Thank you
Fantastic video!
Thanks for watching, MrStarbumps!
YOU ARE AWESOME! ❤❤❤
Beautiful.
Eudiamonia over happiness.
Thanks for the new vocab word!
It's almost as if we're more than just flesh and bone and molecules.
yes, we're consciousness
Is there an organ in the body made of flesh that can be injured and make you lose counciousness or even change your personality? Ill answer....yes the brain
The emotion that we must seek is....equinemity or balance. Best wishes
Now what the heck is equinemity?
@@VEE727equanimity
equanimity isnt an emotion, its a state of being. the acceptance of emotions.
equinemity... i like that word i will put that in my vocabulary
@@Skateboardfreakistspelled with a. Equanimity
Fantastic vidéo ! Please keep doing more video on these types of subject ^^
I didn't hear of this model of happiness and wuld love to know how it can be realted to the Spirituality Physical Intellectual Relationnal & Emotionnal (SPIRE) model.
We have more videos with Arthur Brooks coming out very soon! Stay tuned! In the meantime, our videos with Laurie Santos are similar in subject matter: ruclips.net/p/PL_B7bI1QVmJB7raZsfYcrs4FKDpI2XgbV
@@The-Well Oh ! I really like Laurie Santos eager to see her here ^^
Oh I have no satisfaction, just a relief 😢
Fear, anger, sadness, disgust… felt like I misclicked and I was watching inside out for a second.
Personally, i think the key ingredient to happiness is self understanding and mastery
Yeah ... actually happiness is within us, not at all out there. Happiness is our nature, which is only experienced when our thought waves slow down. Happiness arrives when the mind is momentarily satisfied by reaching its wants, goals, attainments, and so becomes calm. Happiness comes not from acquiring the object sought but by the cessation of desire for the object that brings happiness. Thus, give up your ambitions, desires and other conditions for happiness and happiness will be naturally and continuously present.
Really tried to save the pride of cubicle workers
I dont think one sd aim to define happiness for others. Happiness can be elusive and i think part of what makes it valuable and worthwhile is going on that journey and figuring out what it means for you, truly. And not just borrowing what experts deem is happiness, tho those can be good clues/guidelines.
Which book of his goes through the macro’s of happiness in more detail
I think it's about feeling at home in the world.
Safety = happiness
Are emotions really just information about the outside world? I've been learning about ADHD and they say with the condition you feel enotions more strongly.. but also there's a craving for more stimulation because they're not getting enough dopamine. Negative thoughts can actually be more stimulating because they can be a never-ending cycle. I had never considered this, and it's probably why I keep running through the same sort of thought experiments and rehearsing dialogue in my mind with difficult people. There's no conclusion but it keeps my unsatisfied brain busy.
Point is, I think we can charge our thoughts with the wrong emotions which gives us a flawed perspective. The emotions don't necessarily need to come from direct perceptioms of the real world..
🇧🇼 happiness is right here
I don't really understand why enjoyment has to have people in it. I know it's very important to have friends and family but I can also have genuine enjoyment without people. I would even argue that they are very often more enjoyable than with people. Introvert here.
Its just the way our brains evolved, as social animals we are wired in a certain way. Everyone is different though of course
all I know is, that the simulation we live in, is really testing my emotions. I will miss you big sister, you left us too soon. Alcohol helped no one.
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I strongly disagree with this man on the family aspect. I will firmly stand my ground on never forcing myself or others to be present for ANYONE I don't "like". I do not believe even my own family members have the right to keep me in their lives if they do not treat me with love and respect--the same two things I afford them. No one should feel as though they need to do that.
The ancient yogis have the real answer to happiness - they noticed that every single one of us is in a blissful, painless state of consciousness every night in deep sleep. No hunger, no discomfort, total happiness. Why? Because there is no thinking. No identity, no perception of “I am this body,” no mind.
So if you want true and permanent happiness, the answer has been known for millennia. Comes with deep meditation, overcoming the mind, transcending the ego, and other such things that monks and yogis have been doing forever.
The extremely advanced yogis and meditators can have their bodies go through all sorts of discomfort and displeasure, but their consciousness has been trained to not fall out of the state of happiness and into the perception of pain. The ego must be shed, though, and that’s why it seems impossible to the western researchers, who adore their minds and take the personal identity as granted.
If you are eating tasty food with people you like in a memorable place is it enjoyment?😀
So what about if you have no family? No happiness?
I think in that circumstance, you would need to choose a group to dedicate yourself to fully - to "adopt." A group that motivates you to do what you do. I believe that a man's wife or a wife's husband is the most important relationship.
But also, I don't think a gap in one category negates all possibility of happiness, but you will feel the gap.
2:39
the happiness formula is gratitude, honesty, and service. you must be grateful to be honest, and both to be able to fully serve. faith is interwoven within these three aspects.
What's the meaning of life? WHO CARES
Honestly ever since I realized this I've been so much happier in life. You shouldn't conflate not caring about the meaning of life with not giving a fuck about anything or anyone around you as that's not the same at all. You can be a good person and not care what the meaning of life is or come to terms of the fact that there is no meaning to life, that doesn't mean you can't be a good person and enjoy yourself and enjoy your life in general
1001 like
Faith is not awe. Awe is a momentary feeling like laughter or anger. Awe does not bring satisfaction. Maybe you are confusing it for worship. But worship is also not faith. Worship is a practice like riding a bike. It can be satisfying, but it accomplishes nothing if you don't know where you're going.
Faith is belief+doing or acting in harmony with belief. Acting in harmony with your belief and coming off victorious is what is satisfying. But then, there is only one belief that can accomplish that because their faith does not meet with disappointment. But I'll leave that to the reader to figure out.
The science of happiness!? Ha! 😂😂
I’m doomed lol
Is happiness a science?
👍👍👍🇩🇪
I feel as though this guy comes off as quite arrogant, if I'm honest. Yes, he makes some solid points in his diatribe; however, I disagree with some things on a personal level, as I am certain many others might, too.
I am aware this man is a "happiness professional" with degrees and scientific research supporting his beliefs on the best ways to achieve happiness. On the other hand, what he absolutely fails to mention is happiness is undoubtedly determined by the individual. Not everyone needs all of these things--or even one of these things--to feel true happiness in their lives. Essentially, I think this is a great blueprint, or even starting off point, for people who are struggling to achieve happiness; but I do not think this is a "one size fits all" approach that will ultimately get all of us to that same point.
Expand Family and Friends to Community. You’re not going to be happy when your community and neighboring communities are crumbling around you, your family, your friends.
People confuse happiness with contentment in the past - nostalgia. It's cause we are happy when we are totally in the moment. When we get older, we worry so much about past and future, that all we can do is miss the "good times" when we were "happy." Try being totally, truly in the moment next time you think you should be "happy." See what happens.
Not sure about his categories.. theres no relationship? As in partner. Apart from friendship. Some people may not need friends
work family health god, people being saying this for ages
Your guts is messing with your mood 😂
He said he is specialize in the science of happiness ... 😁 i really doubt that ..
This is not science. It's more self-help nonsense.
Staring into the navel and the navel stares back...
You can change, that’s the good news. That resonates with repentance. Repentance truly is choosing to get back on the path of happiness. That’s really it.
I love this take! I have never had it articulated to me that repentance is change. That will stick with me.
I’ve found much more freedom and joy in rejecting the lies and fears of ancient fairytales and gods that are as real as Santa Claus. I’ve found much more joy in relying on myself and my fellow humans to love and solve problems. Your god promises to torture me forever if I don’t love him the right way. Hard pass. Your religion requires fear and fear is the parent of cruelty.
What about misanthropes ?
My friend told me to write a comment, so here it is.
😂
wow!🤠
This sounds like religion. "You're happy, whether or not you know it." Or, maybe not.
Okay. I spoke a little too soon. Everyone should understand that everything is bigger than ourselves.
Happiness is simply the end of seeking (wanting). Remember your happiness when you were hired-it is because you stopped seeking a job. You were happy when you bought that house-it is because you stopped wanting for it. You were happy that you were finally in your dream country for a trip-it is because you stopped longing for it. The jewelry, the car, the dress, the partner, the cure for your illness, owning a business, the lotto jackpot, or whatever else... BUT, what if you stopped seeking altogether? You would become happy whatever the circumstances-legit happiness. Content or "having inner peace" might be the best words. That is why it is really true that YOU, not the objects, not the substances, not the activities, not even the relationships, ARE THE HAPPINESS THAT YOU SEEK.
LMAO the west learns what happiness is
@@pulse3554 what I stated is from eastern philosophies such as Vedanta.
@@hoykoya3382 I know, I’m just saying this exposure to it in the west is from broadly south Asian philosophy
@@pulse3554 ah yeah. It's mainly the "individualism" that is the hindrance of west to embrace east philosophy.
@@hoykoya3382 there’s individualist strains of Indic philosophy - my opinion is that it’s colonial vestiges that are a hindrance. People in the west grow up spending more time learning about Henry the 8th than any era of Indic history, it’s completely ridiculous. There’s a subconscious supremacist outlook created via colonialism. The history people are taught in North America is completely warped and eurocentric
Happy is an emotion. You’re wrong to say it isn’t.
That all sounds like more rubbish.
LMAO the west learns what happiness is
What a load of academic nonsense
This is horrible advice... you will get more of what you think and then feel in the world today....
Doesn't even make sense 😂
@@bad3032 I know right, the video is almost complete nonsense.
Harvard is speaking GITA in disguise
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