The comparison to drinking is spot on. I quit all social media a few years ago. I lost 90% of my acquaintances, but none of my actual friends. The improvement to one's mental health and well being will be very real. I wish you the best with your career and your studies.
i've also compared my relationship to social media to the first time i reassessed my relationship to alcohol. and the first observation was that it was filling a void.
I think it's important to explain and be specific when one declares they've quit social media. RUclips and blogs are social media. So are dating apps. So is LinkedIn. So, if you are consuming or creating on those platforms, if you're on Bumble or Tinder, you haven't quit all social media. That said, I get your point, and I understand that for a lot of people, some social media platforms are far more toxic than others. For me, it's FB & IG which I quit over a decade ago. I've also never used a dating app and never plan to. But I'm not naive about the fact that the toxicity and anxiety I'm avoiding on FB, IG, and dating apps, is also present on platforms that I still use. It's just far less toxic for me there. All of OP's criticisms of social media are absolutely valid. I quit FB & IG because they were extremely toxic to my mental health, and I was also worried about my privacy. That said, I've lost a ton of relationships as a result, and I'm still reeling from it, years later. I think that's partly because all of my closest relationships don't live in the same city or country as me. That means technology and yes, social media, is the only way to stay in touch, and many of my friends don't like phone calls or even texting. They've admitted as much to me. Trying to schedule a call with them, even a month in advance, is a nightmare. And they are extremely slow to respond to texts. One of my best friends literally takes weeks. I often feel like because I don't share my life on social media, I'm not showing my friends and family that I'm living an interesting life that would compel them to want to stay in touch via text or phone call. It's important to highlight that *quitting social media can make it very hard to maintain long - distance relationships.* Even though, I've lost a lot of relationships from quitting FB, IG, and other social media platforms years ago, I have never wanted to go back. I just find it too toxic. I have more peace of mind, but it does get lonely.
Best post-social media interaction: I ran into a high school acquaintance and he said "whats your IG?" I dont have one. "do you have Facebook?" Nope. "How should I keep up with you?" I just said: "Well, hopefully I'll run into you around town again!" If it was someone I'd actually want to keep up with I'd have just given him my phone number.
I have recently come to the idea that what people need is to keep journals again. Social media isn't really a journal, or at the least it's not a good one. What many of us need is to be with ourselves and our thoughts. We can write down our hot takes and come back to those in a year's time (maybe longer) and say wow that was really stupid/ridiculous; I'm glad no one other than me has seen this. Not every thought needs an audience
This! I've been replacing social media for journaling and reading and it has totally helped to improve my mental health. Whenever I feel I want to share something on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram I go to my pocket notebook instead. Also whenever I crave to read something on social media, I take a book instead and focus on learning or getting into fiction.
@@saramm3765 so true! I especially hate the self denial, when people write "I don't do it for others, this is just for me" sure.....as if the dopamine from recieven positie comments and likes isn't the main motivation. I often wonder if these people are genuinly unaware or just denying the obvious. People liked to be liked and that's what apps are build on to be addicting.
Classic quotes are often the best! not sure on the original author - Penny Reid seems most likely but Pinterest reckon it could be Joan Crawford 😂 Good ol’ social media 🤪
This was spot on me for me as well,the purpose for my socials was to post wellness content to inspire others but consuming social media has been draining really
I completely agree with everything you said. It’s been 22 months since I left social media. I have no regrets at all. I got sick of people gossiping, drama, negativity & people faking their lives & friendships and sharing everything that should be private or craving attention with provocative pictures & selfies. A number of things I realised: 1. People who added me as “Friends” didn’t really care about me. They were “So called Friends” 2. When I was going through my hardest times, including anxiety, upset, trauma and stress, Nobody was REALLY there for me or reached out to me. 3. Certain posts or videos get blown out of proportion or completely taken out of context even if it’s nothing negative. 4. People lie about the amount of friends they REALLY have. Who in the REAL world has 100s or 1000s of friends WHO?? 5. Communication is very one sided. The same person had to make the first move to start a conversation as the other person doesn’t make an effort themselves or can’t be bothered. 6. People lie about their lives, they only show the positive side of theirs lives which doesn’t show the real truth about the person. You can’t tell and don’t see if someone is REALLY depressed, upset, isolated, lonely, feeling suicidal or what’s actually going on in their actual lives. Even if people post how they really feel, people don’t always care. 7. It makes people fake and insecure. 8. People compare themselves to others just to get more “likes” & comments. 9. Social media has increased loneliness, isolation. Anxiety and depression which can be severe. 10. Due to social media and the increase in technology, it’s causing destruction & destroying peoples lives in the sense of their is no sense of unity, community, love and nobody wants to help each other. If they see someone doing something constructive and productive and they’re doing well, people will laugh at them in an act of ignorance, and cannot wait for them to fall down. 11. Having a proper conversation or being real is considered not normal and people think it’s creepy. People don’t like having real conversations 12. It’s made people to be narcissists & self entitlement & ignorant, prejudice and bullies. 13. People can say things or make comments that are abusive, racist, sexist, ignorant, prejudice, misogynist, homophobia, xenophobia, discrimination openly online, rather than to your face. 14. I have seen Boys & Girls take provocative, selfies / pictures to get attention from so called friends / strangers, sometimes in a negative way, for example, woman having their chests hanging out, body image, men & women showing off muscles, six pack & more. 15. With social media & the young generation with regards to friendships, people feel that if they add someone as friend request and they accept it, they automatically think that’s “friends for life” people need to realise that’s not how friendship really works. I never had TikTok, Twitter or Instagram. Glad I didn’t sign up to any of them. Facebook was the only social media platform I had and it was recommended to me back when I was in my 20s. I only use RUclips as I can look at interesting things like cooking recipes and motivation videos and music videos of festivals & concerts and more fun stuff. I enjoy going out in nature, going for walks, bowling listening to music and learning new hobbies and watching movies. Since leaving it’s been the best decision of my life. I enjoy life more, I can now enjoy doing the things I do or want to try without being judged or told what to do without being made to feel guilty. I feel more happier and a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I think if social media disappeared forever, I can guarantee people will spend real quality time with friends and family. People will know who their real friends are and that they will do things together and have a good time doing it. I also feel that people will have proper conversations.
I read something recently that really connected and this video reminded me: “Not everyone has access to me because I want peace more than attention.” 💜
I've tried to quit so many times, but I keep going back. Your alcohol analogy really brought it home. You've inspired me to try again. Thank you, Cinzia
I’ve been off social media for years, it used to be my go-to to just scroll mindlessly. I deleted my passwords (and any apps) and just focused on being annoyed when I had to put the password in manually. That big on friction gave me the pause to think “I don’t want to go there.”
Start small, activate the Digital wellbeing on your phone and set a timer for each app you use. I started with 2 hours per day, now it's just half an hour. I hope in the future to reduce it to just 15 minutes or less
Comparing it to drinking alcohol hit me. I already deleted a huge Instagram account I built over several years. I have been hesitating to delete Facebook but I think this video did me in. Thank you
I logged out of Twitter on my phone a week ago and I had like *physical* withdrawal symptoms for several days? Like anxiety that I didn't know what was "happening"? Scary. But after I calmed down, I felt a lot better both about my life, and about the future of the world
Good for you. I quit facebook 4 years ago and my mental health immediately got better. Instagram went 2 years ago because of hateful comments. I'm now only in two highly moderated discord groups and nothing else. To paraphrase one of your early comments in a different video about loving the wreckage of your life- I destroyed my life leaving social media and I love these ruins.
I barely check twitter or FB anymore. So much toxicity and politics. Too much to deal with. It feels so much better to not be wasting hours a day on scrolling.
Social media makes you more anxious. I've asked women out online and in person (obviously, before I was married), and asking someone out in person w was always so much more fulfilling. It is not as anxiety provoking as you think. If you have a genuine conversation with someone, she will generally give you hints and openers to ask, so just do it. It gets easier each time.
10 месяцев назад+6
I deleted all my social media Aug 2022 and I've never felt better. When I told one friend what I was doing, he was so shocked and almost offended that I was doing it. That speaks volumes as to how pervasive the disease of social media is when a person who doesn't have social media or is deleting it is seen as the abnormal one.
The thing that I find most disturbing is the feeling that everyone is trying to sell themselves online. This is also what I have been coached to as a beauty professional is to basically use my life and my personality to sell people on my business . The movement towards authenticity online is also a marketing funnel . There is something tainted about the whole thing.
The negativity is one of the biggest reasons for me quitting social media as well! I've also noticed that I too was getting negative and only noticed negative things just because everyone around me was acting like that, always unhappy or annoyed or sad or mad and whenever I saw that my mood would drop too. And that would encourage me to also write and notice negative things about my life and myself. It was so unheathy
Yeah, Extreme Negativity.. We already have to deal with it within Real Life... I don't need it online as well with complete Strangers whom are Full of Hate about Everything & Anything... Not Worth it.....
The website I need to quit the MOST is RUclips. It eats up my days sometimes, and if I engage with a negative video that happened to be on my recommended videos section, then I will have a parade of more videos on that same topic the following days and it just kills my positive mood because sometimes the topic is just something I can't help but click on and watch, which just makes the problem worse. I'm going to try to use RUclips only to post videos, and to watch only positive videos while I'm relaxing at home, and see how that works. The key thing is to avoid using it on my phone; that's when I get like hypnotized and can't stop watching, even when I so want to stop. It definitely IS like an addiction.
im thankful that i didnt experience social media until i was older, i feel greatly for people who grew up with and dont know otherwise. You basically described the reason i myself have gotten out of nearly all the social media I experienced, and why my kids wont be experiencing it until I cannot control what they see anymore. I appreciate your content and hate that it may stop your career online, but if it leads to a happier life then its the right move. On a second note related to what your comments about strangers knowing about your life, i sincerely hope it doesnt take very long for people to realize sharing everything is a bad idea.
I am in my 50's now and it has always boggled my mind how people just dump the most personal information about themselves online for anyone to come across. It is good to hear you say this is not a good thing to do. It's also interesting to hear how you like having things to talk about when you get together with others - keeping things out of social media gives us more to discuss and connect on when we meet in person, a very interesting observation.
I am in my 50s too and it is shocking how much people are willing to share, just to get clicks and likes. Someone I have followed for years and enjoy their home styling content shared their miscarriage information, something that surely needed to be kept private between themselves and husband and those closest to them.
Completely agree with you. I'm a private person and I'm uncomfortable packaging myself for public consumption. I keep a couple of my social media accounts to keep up with family and close friends I know in real life but live geographically far away from and for raising awareness of the issues of wild horses in the American West and those types of causes. I mainly repost and don't have many posts of my own. I think there is a general unhappiness in the world due to pandemic fallout, political and climate catastrophes and people who are unhappy in general, not to mention how the social media algorithms push controversial content and the chronic cyberstalking is creepy.
Question: did you choose that username after RUclips recently decided to erase all spaces and capital letters in usernames, as well as add the "@" before them, because if yes, smart username 😁
People are starving for community. We need community centers, good churches, etc etc to pull people together. People are lonely yet everyone is picky about who they hang out with. People choose friends/family to be around the way they choose items to buy. But community in the physical world is essential. The nihilism is bad.
It's a load off the shoulders, when you do it. For my part, I usually just hang out for a few days, and then deactivate the account when addiction starts to set in. I usually reactivate before 30 days, so my history isn't lost, but sometime I just completely allow the account to disappear. One of the best gifts you can give yourself, is to get off social media. If I have anything important to say, I try to build argument maps, post them on medium with a jpg or pdf, and then link to them when the twitter account is open. It's more efficient than starting a looong twitter threat, which inevitably leads to insults, and the same arguments over & over.
Despite being aware of how negative and addictive social media is and aware of its impact on me your way of discussing it has really struck with me and made me feel like I can delete my accounts. Thank you for your wise words ❤
I removed IG and started reading. I have read more books in the past year (7 so far) than I had my previous 50 years of life. Social media is a huge time sucker with no tangible benefits.
You just perfectly verbalised every single thought I've been having for the last few months. I've told myself for years that I need social media to promote my writing and RUclips channel, but now that Instagram has declined so much and barely any of the followers that I worked so hard for see my posts, I can finally see clearly that it is doing nothing for me. It's such a wild addiction. I constantly feel the urge to take a photo of everything I'm doing to post on my story - what on earth for?! Who cares. My mind feels noticeably clearer when I am off social media, I will try again to beat this addiction.
You out into words how I felt inside after scrolling through the insane drama of other people’s lives and the “willfully ignorant” who made poor choices despite all the resources available. Thank you! This is inspiring me to distance myself from social media.
I love this. I took about 9 months off of social media and it was the most peaceful I've ever been. I'm currently trying to balance using it for business purposes but not being obsessed with it, and it's proving to be a difficult road. I can go days without thinking about it but then obsessively look at it for hours without end. It's so hard to find that balance, but the older I get, the more I want to stay fully offline and not be so open to everyone. I wish we didn't have it, even though I'd miss lovely people like you!
I needed this. Social media is so dangerously addictive, but I rarely see people talk about it seriously. I spend way too much time on the internet now. Thank you for making me realize that I should quit it, too.
I so relate !! When I quit instagram almost 2 years ago, it was a game changer in my mind. Nobody was no longer tuned in on my life. And, I had not to find something to tell about me everyday anymore. It was so time, energy, and self consuming. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this topic !
the part about views plummeting I can relate to, but what I did notice is that the ones I did retain were more attentive to the words and meanings of things I wanted to get across..rather than showing up just for the dopamine hit. Man the way you talk and formulate your thoughts is incredible.. Just dropped a sub.
I am struggling so much myself, it's so hard not to loose yourself on RUclips to replace the social media entertainment ! I guess we have to learn how to be bored before we can become organized, idk if it makes sens (French here lol)
YES! All this! My friends have slowly gone from updating me about their lives personally to just posting to their social media. I’ve gone completely off social media three times now, and I always have to go back because I end up completely out of the loop. The comments on social media are so mean spirited and ignorant. I still take mini breaks because it gets horrible for my mental health.
Holy moly I think you just changed my life for the better 😮 the way you articulated every point, so direct but so kind but also so blunt, I think I’m set to delete it all now.
Do ittt!! It does take a while to get adjusted to not scrolling through memes, etc. But honestly you will soon realise how much it really doesn't matter whether you see what someone had for lunch on their story or a photo of your friend's neighbour's cat or something! haha
Celebrating you! I stopped using social media end of 2019. I haven’t gone back. I did start a hobby account on instagram where no one knows me and I share my art and view other art. My feed is only inspirational art and puppies! ❤
I deleted Facebook in 2014 but I still enjoy youtube for its abundance of diverse and interesting topics. I’ve learned to knit and sew via youtube and have also repaired my radio and grow micro greens!
I agree with you so much. Social media fuels and is fueled by negativity and relationships are becoming more and more fragile and fleeting. Perhaps it's what you said about selfishness and ego. I still cannot cope with stories and being aware of what everyone is doing all day, every day. To think that there are generations who won't be able to have the ability to experience the world without those makes me sad. We should be more critical of social media, how we use it but most of all how it's designed to be addictive, like you've said. PS: the adds!!! Targeted marketing is one thing that you haven't mentioned. Insane.
Thank you for sharing! Today marks the actual day that my instagram accounts delete. It’s been about two months that I have been off of it and today it’s official, official. I relate so much to the many reasons you explained. I too feel more at peace in my mental space. As someone who thinks about everything all the time, instagram was absolutely chaotic. lol. Im glad I finally just took the leap. It’s been wonderful.
The comparison to drinking alcohol is amazing, that has never occurred to me and it is completely true! Thank you for another great and useful video. :)
First off you are so well spoken. I see such a difference in your confidence and your underlying calmness. I'm so happy for you and the changes you've made in your life.
I recently started to make more time for myself, to occupy on my greater passions: reading and music. It´s amazing how time flies doing what you love, and I started to realize that I wasn´t checking my mobile as often as I usually did. No guilt of course, but it amazes me how much extra time I was giving to social media. I haven´t quit them yet, but I really feel happier just for giving a little more time to do what I love the most. Great video Lady!
Oh good for you...I did it a few years ago, secondary to reading Cal Newport's "Digital Minimalism". And tbh...my brain deserves so much more and bettet than social media. RUclips talks by those I follow...yes, I listen to a few but really...coming off line is all about living your own life rather than watching someone else's. Enjoy the peace and quiet and space to think!
I’m glad to hear you escaped the toxic environment that is social media. I’ve been feeling the shackles of social media myself, mainly just using it as a distraction. Something to kill time or keep my mind occupied. I’ve been trying to reduce my screen time lately, exchanging phone time for book time or writing short stories in my notebooks instead of on my laptop. I even started an instagram because that’s what I’ve been told to do to promote my writing even though I hardly ever use it. So maybe I’ll stop before that particular trap closes on me.
I couldn’t agree with you more on this. It is something I struggle with perpetually as an entrepreneur who hates social media. Every time I take breaks for months at a time, I feel so much happier. And I absolutely love how you put it, “I can’t set myself on fire to keep other people warm.” It’s so true. I keep hearing newsletters are the way to circumvent the need for social media but as I’m just starting off in my business, I’m wondering if I need to put in some time online in order to build it up. 🤷🏻♀️ Good luck, I’ve started following you and wish you the best of luck! 💗
I resonate so deeply with all of these points made. I wrote in my journal last night that I was yes to experience a full year off social media. My hope is that I never feel the need to return. Growing up with social media, as a Gen Z’er…I can’t really remember life without it. But I’ve found myself to be so irritated by everything and everyone. It’s definitely time to get off. Thank you for sharing this.
this is why i've been actively seeking out snail mail and email penpals...i love unadulterated conversations and the joy of actually getting to know someone organically.
It’s not burying your head in the sand, it shows integrity! So many people are stuck on social media but can’t find the strength to quit. You recognized that twitter and insta are making it easier for people to inflict pain and overstep your boundaries, you took a stand and shut their nonsense down. People online have become so vile over the last 3 years. Twi… sorry, “X” is one of the worst offenders, but they’ve all gotten so toxic.
BRAVO !!! You did the Wisest thing any human being could do. I did exactly the same Years ago from the very same negative things I've experienced. I wish normal people could realize the same conclusions you did.
Speaking for myself, I can imagine social media being used as a tool for a person with a personality disorder to portray rather the depths of how they see themselves, or a portrayal of how they want to be perceived.
Deleting social media was the best thing ever for me. At this point, I only have 1 friend who actively uses it. All of the rest of them? We just text, call, and meet up. I dont miss any of the bs one bit.
Wise words, a lot of people would benefit from living a real life to an online one. Sharing personal info is an unbelievable error that people do without thinking. Digital decluttering is so refreshing.
You’re pretty much hit the hammer on the nail with this vlog. I’ve was on social media for six years and quitting it was the best decision. I ever made literally over the first two weeks of leaving it. My sleeping patterns got better. My concentration got better and my general mental and physical health improved a hell of a lot. I started to go out a lot more talking to people and just enjoy my life as it was before social media took over and consumed the world with its manipulation.
I did this years ago and it was a fantastic decision. I questioned myself of why am i wasting my time looking over post of people trying to put a false positive image of themselves and comparing myself and so on. If I need memes or interesting articles there is always Reddit. I welcome you to the club!
I like how Reddit has different subreddits for different interests, but I had to quit that also because I saw people getting f downvoted for just giving their opinion about really small things, for example; green shirt vs blue shirt . XD
Completely understandable. I see stuff on Twitter and complain to my girlfriend about it instead of just not seeing it and enjoying time with her. It's extremely addictive and I think that's due to moments of perceived dullness. "Oh there's nothing to watch on TV-" "I don't have anything to talk about-" "All my friends are on their phones anyway-" "-so I'll just check my phone real quick." It's a bad habit. But it's not treated like one which is the real issue. Great video, very thought provoking. Hopefully I can bring myself to do the same some day.
This was a great video!!! I got off Facebook and Twitter many years ago and made my Instagram only for keeping up with the book community and things like cooking and decorating accounts. It has made such a difference in my life for the better and I love it.👏🏽
that one negative thing which overpowers the million positive things… breaks my heart. I hear it’s true from so many creators who I want to shower-no, DROWN with appreciation, and I am doomed to know that’s not how it works. So, I think you’re very courageous to share your face and your videos with us. thank you ❤❤ i am feeling inspired to go on this analog socializing journey too!
Well done, Cinzia! That’s a huge accomplishment and very inspiring to hear. I’ve partially quit, I guess. My work leaves me contractually obligated to do some social media, but I’ve taken to managing that through Meta business suite from my computer during working hours and I’m much happier. When I find I’m out of the loop on the latest trend or meme, it gives me a little boost of joy knowing that I’m out of the loop because I’m budgeting my mental energy better.
Totally agree with your reasoning! I left all social media except Instagram, and I keep that page small and private. The change has been so refreshing! I feel more in control of my own narrative, and someone can't just look up every aspect of my past and skew details or make cringy references. Privacy is underrated.
Thank you thank you thank you! I quit social media for good this week and it's horrible to admit but having actual withdrawal. The moments of doubt of what people think of me for stopping etc. I want to focus more on my crafting and family. I just need videos like this to remind me I'm not alone in these feelings and I can do well without it!
Just found this channel yesterday, now binge watching, as well as Lady of the Library and your wonderful blog posts. So nice to find such an intelligent, interesting and attractive lady on YT. With an English (Irish?) accent to boot!
Coming back to this video over a year later, and your message Cinzia is even more relevant today. After a divisive US election fueled by skyrocketing propaganda / fake news on social media, I’m very tempted to follow your example. My biggest hesitation is leaving behind all of the people that I mainly connect with through social media. Then again, I consider that we as humans weren’t designed to keep in touch with the number of people that social media allows us to, and a lot of those connections are ultimately (through no intention or ill will) hollow. Something that this discussion reminds me of is the early COVID-19 pandemic: one could only connect with others outside your home via social media, and yet those connections were not fulfilling. One way I was able to alleviate that loneliness was, rather than connecting on social media, writing letters to my friends. It didn’t last with many of them, and it was time consuming, but it was a beautiful and meaningful way to connect with friends when we couldn’t see each other. Maybe quitting social media will give me more time to do that again; granted, probably on a smaller scale. Perhaps, in the new year, I will try being social media-free for a few weeks and see how I feel.
This video is so validating. I have had some of these exact thoughts...and then promptly thought it was wild of me to think these things. Thank you thank you for sharing your view.
Cinzia, I hope to one day have the courage to do exactly the same. To me, Social Media has been a source of discontent rather than the well of innocent and happy connectedness it should be, however, being an artist, it is a necessary evil for now. I am not as easily communicative in vídeo, and therefore Instagram is still a medium to show some things off. You inspire me to step up my game so as to not need it anymore anytime in the future, and I, for one, am glad to see your thoroughly well-researched long form videos, you are a beacon of light, politeness and knowledge that should be celebrated anywhere you go. I hope your departure from social media brings you the peace you seek and that more and more People get to see you here. I admire you and I am sure thousands of people do as well.
"I can't set myself on fire to keep other people warm." YES! Good for you dear. I only have a facebook account that I check once a week at most to see what's at the local farmer's market. I did use it during the COVID lockdowns but now that I can hang out with people ( or not), FB is rather useless. I'm glad you are posting again here. You seem calmer now. Best wishes and thanks for these lovely little talks.
I think you're spot on. Social media *is* toxic. Largely by design. Now that you're off most of it, it's only a matter of time before you start *writing letters* to people to keep in touch. They will both love it and think you've gone mad at the same time. Enjoy reconnecting to the real world.
I've watched a lot of videos about this topic and I think this one is the most complete and precise. Thanks for sharing: I identified totally with your experience. I quit social media too a few weeks ago, and it has been liberating. Cheers from Chile, Southamerica.
Wonderful video, Cinzia! I quit most social media about a year and a half ago and completely stopped sharing incredibly personal parts of my life on the few parts of it I still used. It was so difficult at first, but just like you mentioned the cons just so vastly outweighed the pros for it. I truly think for myself, and maybe a lot of other people, is there's such an intense fear of missing out... it's this vague, burdening feeling that you will miss something important with your friends, miss something important in the news, miss something important with a piece of media you like, and the list goes on. Once I stopped though, I stopped feeling as left out of things, in reality. Sure I wasn't aware of all my friends lives and the news all the time, but instead they talked to me now personally and I got to develop closer personal relationships with them because I truly couldn't know what was going on in their lives and vice versa without them checking in on me. With the news I ended up just finding out news that was important to my state or local area, which caused me to get more involved in communities around me and feel more confident in my ability to change things on a small scale than feel dread about the bigger stuff I had no way of tackling. I grew up on the early internet and as a socially anxious child it gave me a sense of protection and belonging that I really needed back then. I think though the landscape has changed a lot and become less focused on actually connecting people and I don't find myself feeling comfort with these spaces in the same way as what I experienced back then. Collectively we need to stop relying so much on the internet and maybe go back to simply seeing it as a tool and resource to assist our day to day lives, but not where our lives and entire selves actually exist.
Thank you, I just discovered your channel and I’m already a subscriber. I deleted social media as well for every single reason that you have mentioned but I didn’t had the words to put them into. I feel also that “fear of being left out” on this circumstances and many of my friends have stopped talking to me because unfortunately they are pretty sucked in by Instagram and tiktok. It’s sad to see and realize what this technologies are doing to people and I feel sometimes alone and out of connection with “what’s in”, but overall I have never felt happier and at peace, not even in my teenage years ( when all that we had was MySpace and Fotolog). Thank you for sharing and I’m going to keep in touch on your videos. Regards ❤ (and sorry for my English).
I just found you the other day and I love your videos! You have inspired me. I want to rethink how I’m marketing my business and see if I can cut out all social media. I am strongly considering deleting my personal Facebook and Instagram. I spent the last week really cutting down my usage of social media and even on the first day, I began to realize just HOW detrimental social media is for me mentally and also how much it is reducing my capacity to perform at work and make progress toward my personal goals. You seem like such a lovely person and I truly wish the best for you ❤❤❤
Bravo! I totally agree with the reasons you put forth for quitting social media. I have been free of it for a few years now. To me, the constant inane sharing by others is tedious and pointless and such a waste of time. I have no desire to publicise my life and strive to reduce egotistical behaviour. It’s so strange sometimes to look around a room and be the only person not glued to a device screen. It makes me often feel like the odd one out. So thanks for your video, it’s good to know there are like minds out there!
I totally agree with you but am too scared to go fully into it! For me, it’s more about time wasting and seeing discriminatory attitudes. I’m trying for the middle road at present, but if it fails then m with you! Happy reading 💖
I applaud your efforts. I am beginning to think and try to find ways to do OTHER THINGS than being on social media, to use something else to preoccupy my time. I am tired of rude, unfriendly people in the comments section and I am tired of RUclips and other social media channels constantly recommending and promoting to me thins I AM NOT interested in or, things that I might be interested in, BUT THOUSANDS of repetitive videos. I am tired of the shallow, unintelligent people on social media and I am tired of the hundreds of sale ads bombarding me and even scammer sales calls on my Android phone.
I felt that when you said you were becoming misanthropic. Social media crystallizes so many bad human traits and behaviors in one place that I find myself disgusted by humanity sometimes. Not nearly as much before socials. Maybe I just had my head in the sand.
I also had to make an effort to not enter social media so often, and honestly, it was life changing. Just entering once a day makes a huge difference. I never realised how much space it occupied on my mind. It is liberating to stay present in the moment.
I quit Facebook and never really used Instagram much and didn’t have twitter or any of the other ones because I found myself angry constantly after reading things people were saying on Facebook that were false or just mean. All of the trauma dumping and bragging that was going on there was really effecting my mental health negatively. I can to the conclusion that there were a lot of things that I would just rather not know about and losing that “connection” with people was a sacrifice that would be well made.
I agree with your views on social media, I got rid of all of it a while ago and I've been happier ever since. I also watch a lot of RUclips and sometimes feel so watch too much. However I do occasionally find something that I feel is actually enriching and inspiring to watch, I think this channel is in that category. I also found your channel organically on RUclips.
Every single thing you said about why you left is what had me backing away as well for good this year, Facebook in 2016 and Instagram earlier this year. I didn't want my peeps to have to find out what's going on in my life by scrolling through my feed (the date you had with the creepy scroll felt so icky). This meant I got to write and text and video chat more. Thank you for putting this out here.
Awww…this has just inspired me. I’ve been on reading slumps and this has enlightened me to gradually quit all my social media (except RUclips,ofc) and get back to reading. God bless you and best of luck for a no-social media life.❤
I am seriously considering making the break myself. You articulate many of the thoughts I have had about how negatively social media affects my life, so thank you! I need more fuel to the fire because I’m also experiencing anxiety at the thought of making that break…perhaps that is the addiction speaking!
Thank you for this. You give a very inspired speech. It's much appreciated. I definitely don't think that leaving is akin to burying your head in the sand...rather more lifting your head above the smog.
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The comparison to drinking is spot on. I quit all social media a few years ago. I lost 90% of my acquaintances, but none of my actual friends. The improvement to one's mental health and well being will be very real. I wish you the best with your career and your studies.
i've also compared my relationship to social media to the first time i reassessed my relationship to alcohol. and the first observation was that it was filling a void.
I think it's important to explain and be specific when one declares they've quit social media. RUclips and blogs are social media. So are dating apps. So is LinkedIn. So, if you are consuming or creating on those platforms, if you're on Bumble or Tinder, you haven't quit all social media. That said, I get your point, and I understand that for a lot of people, some social media platforms are far more toxic than others. For me, it's FB & IG which I quit over a decade ago. I've also never used a dating app and never plan to. But I'm not naive about the fact that the toxicity and anxiety I'm avoiding on FB, IG, and dating apps, is also present on platforms that I still use. It's just far less toxic for me there.
All of OP's criticisms of social media are absolutely valid. I quit FB & IG because they were extremely toxic to my mental health, and I was also worried about my privacy. That said, I've lost a ton of relationships as a result, and I'm still reeling from it, years later. I think that's partly because all of my closest relationships don't live in the same city or country as me. That means technology and yes, social media, is the only way to stay in touch, and many of my friends don't like phone calls or even texting. They've admitted as much to me. Trying to schedule a call with them, even a month in advance, is a nightmare. And they are extremely slow to respond to texts. One of my best friends literally takes weeks.
I often feel like because I don't share my life on social media, I'm not showing my friends and family that I'm living an interesting life that would compel them to want to stay in touch via text or phone call. It's important to highlight that *quitting social media can make it very hard to maintain long - distance relationships.* Even though, I've lost a lot of relationships from quitting FB, IG, and other social media platforms years ago, I have never wanted to go back. I just find it too toxic. I have more peace of mind, but it does get lonely.
You say that with RUclips shorts existing??
Yessssss...acquaintances not friends..
I think I'm going to do the same. Social media is a huge toxic mess. I don't need that in my life.
Best post-social media interaction: I ran into a high school acquaintance and he said "whats your IG?" I dont have one. "do you have Facebook?" Nope. "How should I keep up with you?" I just said: "Well, hopefully I'll run into you around town again!" If it was someone I'd actually want to keep up with I'd have just given him my phone number.
lol what a clown world
Exactly, that's how people used to communicate. Mail was also good.
I have recently come to the idea that what people need is to keep journals again. Social media isn't really a journal, or at the least it's not a good one. What many of us need is to be with ourselves and our thoughts. We can write down our hot takes and come back to those in a year's time (maybe longer) and say wow that was really stupid/ridiculous; I'm glad no one other than me has seen this. Not every thought needs an audience
Yes! I think the hardest part of a journal vs social media is the built in accountability. Being witness is a good motivator to actually do it.
👍💜👍
Really feels like everyone has become addicted to living for the audience. Completely agree with all you said.
This! I've been replacing social media for journaling and reading and it has totally helped to improve my mental health.
Whenever I feel I want to share something on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram I go to my pocket notebook instead.
Also whenever I crave to read something on social media, I take a book instead and focus on learning or getting into fiction.
@@saramm3765 so true! I especially hate the self denial, when people write "I don't do it for others, this is just for me" sure.....as if the dopamine from recieven positie comments and likes isn't the main motivation. I often wonder if these people are genuinly unaware or just denying the obvious. People liked to be liked and that's what apps are build on to be addicting.
Spot On!
I tell people "I've aged out of social media".
I like this alot
"i don;t have to set myself on fire to keep other people warm." wins the Sensible-Piece-of-Advice Award for the Year! Bless you, Lady C!
aw come on, it's so cold out here, just lets light up one of ur shoes...💥👋
Classic quotes are often the best! not sure on the original author - Penny Reid seems most likely but Pinterest reckon it could be Joan Crawford 😂 Good ol’ social media 🤪
This was spot on me for me as well,the purpose for my socials was to post wellness content to inspire others but consuming social media has been draining really
"I cannot set myself on fire to keep other people warm."
This. All of this.
I completely agree with everything you said.
It’s been 22 months since I left social media. I have no regrets at all.
I got sick of people gossiping, drama, negativity & people faking their lives & friendships and sharing everything that should be private or craving attention with provocative pictures & selfies.
A number of things I realised:
1. People who added me as “Friends” didn’t really care about me. They were “So called Friends”
2. When I was going through my hardest times, including anxiety, upset, trauma and stress, Nobody was REALLY there for me or reached out to me.
3. Certain posts or videos get blown out of proportion or completely taken out of context even if it’s nothing negative.
4. People lie about the amount of friends they REALLY have. Who in the REAL world has 100s or 1000s of friends WHO??
5. Communication is very one sided. The same person had to make the first move to start a conversation as the other person doesn’t make an effort themselves or can’t be bothered.
6. People lie about their lives, they only show the positive side of theirs lives which doesn’t show the real truth about the person. You can’t tell and don’t see if someone is REALLY depressed, upset, isolated, lonely, feeling suicidal or what’s actually going on in their actual lives. Even if people post how they really feel, people don’t always care.
7. It makes people fake and insecure.
8. People compare themselves to others just to get more “likes” & comments.
9. Social media has increased loneliness, isolation. Anxiety and depression which can be severe.
10. Due to social media and the increase in technology, it’s causing destruction & destroying peoples lives in the sense of their is no sense of unity, community, love and nobody wants to help each other. If they see someone doing something constructive and productive and they’re doing well, people will laugh at them in an act of ignorance, and cannot wait for them to fall down.
11. Having a proper conversation or being real is considered not normal and people think it’s creepy. People don’t like having real conversations
12. It’s made people to be narcissists & self entitlement & ignorant, prejudice and bullies.
13. People can say things or make comments that are abusive, racist, sexist, ignorant, prejudice, misogynist, homophobia, xenophobia, discrimination openly online, rather than to your face.
14. I have seen Boys & Girls take provocative, selfies / pictures to get attention from so called friends / strangers, sometimes in a negative way, for example, woman having their chests hanging out, body image, men & women showing off muscles, six pack & more.
15. With social media & the young generation with regards to friendships, people feel that if they add someone as friend request and they accept it, they automatically think that’s “friends for life” people need to realise that’s not how friendship really works.
I never had TikTok, Twitter or Instagram. Glad I didn’t sign up to any of them. Facebook was the only social media platform I had and it was recommended to me back when I was in my 20s.
I only use RUclips as I can look at interesting things like cooking recipes and motivation videos and music videos of festivals & concerts and more fun stuff.
I enjoy going out in nature, going for walks, bowling listening to music and learning new hobbies and watching movies.
Since leaving it’s been the best decision of my life. I enjoy life more, I can now enjoy doing the things I do or want to try without being judged or told what to do without being made to feel guilty.
I feel more happier and a massive weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I think if social media disappeared forever, I can guarantee people will spend real quality time with friends and family. People will know who their real friends are and that they will do things together and have a good time doing it. I also feel that people will have proper conversations.
Agreed
Spot on.
I don’t see how 14 is negative.
I read something recently that really connected and this video reminded me: “Not everyone has access to me because I want peace more than attention.” 💜
I've tried to quit so many times, but I keep going back. Your alcohol analogy really brought it home. You've inspired me to try again. Thank you, Cinzia
same :))
Pretend you're a Gen Xer or Baby Boomer. 😉
I’ve been off social media for years, it used to be my go-to to just scroll mindlessly. I deleted my passwords (and any apps) and just focused on being annoyed when I had to put the password in manually. That big on friction gave me the pause to think “I don’t want to go there.”
Start small, activate the Digital wellbeing on your phone and set a timer for each app you use. I started with 2 hours per day, now it's just half an hour. I hope in the future to reduce it to just 15 minutes or less
Delete your accounts.
Comparing it to drinking alcohol hit me. I already deleted a huge Instagram account I built over several years. I have been hesitating to delete Facebook but I think this video did me in. Thank you
I logged out of Twitter on my phone a week ago and I had like *physical* withdrawal symptoms for several days? Like anxiety that I didn't know what was "happening"? Scary. But after I calmed down, I felt a lot better both about my life, and about the future of the world
FOMO
Good for you. I quit facebook 4 years ago and my mental health immediately got better. Instagram went 2 years ago because of hateful comments. I'm now only in two highly moderated discord groups and nothing else. To paraphrase one of your early comments in a different video about loving the wreckage of your life- I destroyed my life leaving social media and I love these ruins.
I quit social media too, now I just spend 4 hours a day on youtube
I barely check twitter or FB anymore. So much toxicity and politics. Too much to deal with. It feels so much better to not be wasting hours a day on scrolling.
Social media makes you more anxious. I've asked women out online and in person (obviously, before I was married), and asking someone out in person w was always so much more fulfilling. It is not as anxiety provoking as you think. If you have a genuine conversation with someone, she will generally give you hints and openers to ask, so just do it. It gets easier each time.
I deleted all my social media Aug 2022 and I've never felt better. When I told one friend what I was doing, he was so shocked and almost offended that I was doing it. That speaks volumes as to how pervasive the disease of social media is when a person who doesn't have social media or is deleting it is seen as the abnormal one.
The thing that I find most disturbing is the feeling that everyone is trying to sell themselves online. This is also what I have been coached to as a beauty professional is to basically use my life and my personality to sell people on my business . The movement towards authenticity online is also a marketing funnel . There is something tainted about the whole thing.
The negativity is one of the biggest reasons for me quitting social media as well! I've also noticed that I too was getting negative and only noticed negative things just because everyone around me was acting like that, always unhappy or annoyed or sad or mad and whenever I saw that my mood would drop too. And that would encourage me to also write and notice negative things about my life and myself. It was so unheathy
Yeah, Extreme Negativity.. We already have to deal with it within Real Life... I don't need it online as well with complete Strangers whom are Full of Hate about Everything & Anything... Not Worth it.....
The website I need to quit the MOST is RUclips. It eats up my days sometimes, and if I engage with a negative video that happened to be on my recommended videos section, then I will have a parade of more videos on that same topic the following days and it just kills my positive mood because sometimes the topic is just something I can't help but click on and watch, which just makes the problem worse. I'm going to try to use RUclips only to post videos, and to watch only positive videos while I'm relaxing at home, and see how that works. The key thing is to avoid using it on my phone; that's when I get like hypnotized and can't stop watching, even when I so want to stop. It definitely IS like an addiction.
im thankful that i didnt experience social media until i was older, i feel greatly for people who grew up with and dont know otherwise. You basically described the reason i myself have gotten out of nearly all the social media I experienced, and why my kids wont be experiencing it until I cannot control what they see anymore. I appreciate your content and hate that it may stop your career online, but if it leads to a happier life then its the right move.
On a second note related to what your comments about strangers knowing about your life, i sincerely hope it doesnt take very long for people to realize sharing everything is a bad idea.
I am in my 50's now and it has always boggled my mind how people just dump the most personal information about themselves online for anyone to come across. It is good to hear you say this is not a good thing to do. It's also interesting to hear how you like having things to talk about when you get together with others - keeping things out of social media gives us more to discuss and connect on when we meet in person, a very interesting observation.
I am in my 50s too and it is shocking how much people are willing to share, just to get clicks and likes. Someone I have followed for years and enjoy their home styling content shared their miscarriage information, something that surely needed to be kept private between themselves and husband and those closest to them.
Completely agree with you. I'm a private person and I'm uncomfortable packaging myself for public consumption. I keep a couple of my social media accounts to keep up with family and close friends I know in real life but live geographically far away from and for raising awareness of the issues of wild horses in the American West and those types of causes. I mainly repost and don't have many posts of my own. I think there is a general unhappiness in the world due to pandemic fallout, political and climate catastrophes and people who are unhappy in general, not to mention how the social media algorithms push controversial content and the chronic cyberstalking is creepy.
Question: did you choose that username after RUclips recently decided to erase all spaces and capital letters in usernames, as well as add the "@" before them, because if yes, smart username 😁
People are starving for community. We need community centers, good churches, etc etc to pull people together. People are lonely yet everyone is picky about who they hang out with. People choose friends/family to be around the way they choose items to buy. But community in the physical world is essential. The nihilism is bad.
Leaving social media,is healthy for oneself.
It's a load off the shoulders, when you do it.
For my part, I usually just hang out for a few days, and then deactivate the account when addiction starts to set in. I usually reactivate before 30 days, so my history isn't lost, but sometime I just completely allow the account to disappear.
One of the best gifts you can give yourself, is to get off social media.
If I have anything important to say, I try to build argument maps, post them on medium with a jpg or pdf, and then link to them when the twitter account is open. It's more efficient than starting a looong twitter threat, which inevitably leads to insults, and the same arguments over & over.
Despite being aware of how negative and addictive social media is and aware of its impact on me your way of discussing it has really struck with me and made me feel like I can delete my accounts. Thank you for your wise words ❤
I removed IG and started reading. I have read more books in the past year (7 so far) than I had my previous 50 years of life. Social media is a huge time sucker with no tangible benefits.
You just perfectly verbalised every single thought I've been having for the last few months. I've told myself for years that I need social media to promote my writing and RUclips channel, but now that Instagram has declined so much and barely any of the followers that I worked so hard for see my posts, I can finally see clearly that it is doing nothing for me.
It's such a wild addiction. I constantly feel the urge to take a photo of everything I'm doing to post on my story - what on earth for?! Who cares. My mind feels noticeably clearer when I am off social media, I will try again to beat this addiction.
You'll never regret living in accordance to your own values regardless of what everybody else does.
You out into words how I felt inside after scrolling through the insane drama of other people’s lives and the “willfully ignorant” who made poor choices despite all the resources available. Thank you! This is inspiring me to distance myself from social media.
"Distance myself"? You're still going to use it like before. Why not actually quit?
People want to be heard & seen & appreciated - that is not narcissistic. Narcissist need to control and put others down.
I love this. I took about 9 months off of social media and it was the most peaceful I've ever been. I'm currently trying to balance using it for business purposes but not being obsessed with it, and it's proving to be a difficult road. I can go days without thinking about it but then obsessively look at it for hours without end. It's so hard to find that balance, but the older I get, the more I want to stay fully offline and not be so open to everyone. I wish we didn't have it, even though I'd miss lovely people like you!
I needed this. Social media is so dangerously addictive, but I rarely see people talk about it seriously. I spend way too much time on the internet now. Thank you for making me realize that I should quit it, too.
I’m with you! I agree! I leave and come back when I’m bored but it drags my mental health down each time.
I so relate !! When I quit instagram almost 2 years ago, it was a game changer in my mind. Nobody was no longer tuned in on my life. And, I had not to find something to tell about me everyday anymore. It was so time, energy, and self consuming. Thanks for sharing your thoughts about this topic !
social media is really really scary, I've been addicted to it for 9 years and it makes me depressed and self-conscious too and I've deleted this😢😢
the part about views plummeting I can relate to, but what I did notice is that the ones I did retain were more attentive to the words and meanings of things I wanted to get across..rather than showing up just for the dopamine hit.
Man the way you talk and formulate your thoughts is incredible.. Just dropped a sub.
Cinzia, you've convinced me to do a no-buy year and now I'm considering quitting social media, WHAT am I going to do with all this free time?!
I am struggling so much myself, it's so hard not to loose yourself on RUclips to replace the social media entertainment ! I guess we have to learn how to be bored before we can become organized, idk if it makes sens (French here lol)
And me 🙋🏼♀️ I’m actually looking forward to 2024 with all these challenges
YES! All this! My friends have slowly gone from updating me about their lives personally to just posting to their social media. I’ve gone completely off social media three times now, and I always have to go back because I end up completely out of the loop. The comments on social media are so mean spirited and ignorant. I still take mini breaks because it gets horrible for my mental health.
I've learned to have a sense of humor about things..the way people can be. Its a circus out there😂
Holy moly I think you just changed my life for the better 😮 the way you articulated every point, so direct but so kind but also so blunt, I think I’m set to delete it all now.
Do ittt!! It does take a while to get adjusted to not scrolling through memes, etc. But honestly you will soon realise how much it really doesn't matter whether you see what someone had for lunch on their story or a photo of your friend's neighbour's cat or something! haha
Celebrating you! I stopped using social media end of 2019. I haven’t gone back. I did start a hobby account on instagram where no one knows me and I share my art and view other art. My feed is only inspirational art and puppies! ❤
I deleted Facebook in 2014 but I still enjoy youtube for its abundance of diverse and interesting topics. I’ve learned to knit and sew via youtube and have also repaired my radio and grow micro greens!
thank you so much for your generosity!
@@SelfHelpShelf You’re welcome, it’s my pleasure to help in my small way. Thank you.
I agree with you so much. Social media fuels and is fueled by negativity and relationships are becoming more and more fragile and fleeting. Perhaps it's what you said about selfishness and ego.
I still cannot cope with stories and being aware of what everyone is doing all day, every day. To think that there are generations who won't be able to have the ability to experience the world without those makes me sad. We should be more critical of social media, how we use it but most of all how it's designed to be addictive, like you've said.
PS: the adds!!! Targeted marketing is one thing that you haven't mentioned. Insane.
Thank you for sharing! Today marks the actual day that my instagram accounts delete. It’s been about two months that I have been off of it and today it’s official, official. I relate so much to the many reasons you explained. I too feel more at peace in my mental space. As someone who thinks about everything all the time, instagram was absolutely chaotic. lol. Im glad I finally just took the leap. It’s been wonderful.
The comparison to drinking alcohol is amazing, that has never occurred to me and it is completely true! Thank you for another great and useful video. :)
I'm still here! I haven't been on any of those since 2012! Don't miss it. Love watching. 😊
First off you are so well spoken. I see such a difference in your confidence and your underlying calmness. I'm so happy for you and the changes you've made in your life.
I recently did this as well and I cannot imagine going back. It’s so much more calm
I recently started to make more time for myself, to occupy on my greater passions: reading and music. It´s amazing how time flies doing what you love, and I started to realize that I wasn´t checking my mobile as often as I usually did. No guilt of course, but it amazes me how much extra time I was giving to social media. I haven´t quit them yet, but I really feel happier just for giving a little more time to do what I love the most. Great video Lady!
Yeah I agree, I spent much more time reading and my anxiety is so much better
Oh good for you...I did it a few years ago, secondary to reading Cal Newport's "Digital Minimalism". And tbh...my brain deserves so much more and bettet than social media. RUclips talks by those I follow...yes, I listen to a few but really...coming off line is all about living your own life rather than watching someone else's. Enjoy the peace and quiet and space to think!
I’m glad to hear you escaped the toxic environment that is social media. I’ve been feeling the shackles of social media myself, mainly just using it as a distraction. Something to kill time or keep my mind occupied. I’ve been trying to reduce my screen time lately, exchanging phone time for book time or writing short stories in my notebooks instead of on my laptop. I even started an instagram because that’s what I’ve been told to do to promote my writing even though I hardly ever use it. So maybe I’ll stop before that particular trap closes on me.
An alternative platform to sharing your writings is Medium! It’s “social” but more geared towards reading other’s works
I've tried quitting social media in the past and got back to it. I'll try again as it's wasting my time and hurts eyes as well.
Inspirational. Thank you for your candor, and for modeling healthy boundaries around social media for us all!
I couldn’t agree with you more on this. It is something I struggle with perpetually as an entrepreneur who hates social media. Every time I take breaks for months at a time, I feel so much happier. And I absolutely love how you put it, “I can’t set myself on fire to keep other people warm.” It’s so true. I keep hearing newsletters are the way to circumvent the need for social media but as I’m just starting off in my business, I’m wondering if I need to put in some time online in order to build it up. 🤷🏻♀️ Good luck, I’ve started following you and wish you the best of luck! 💗
Thank you Cinzia. The depth of your perception is astounding. Inner peace and well being vs. commercial success, no debate, inner peace ✌
I resonate so deeply with all of these points made. I wrote in my journal last night that I was yes to experience a full year off social media. My hope is that I never feel the need to return. Growing up with social media, as a Gen Z’er…I can’t really remember life without it. But I’ve found myself to be so irritated by everything and everyone. It’s definitely time to get off. Thank you for sharing this.
"I can't set myself on fire to keep other people warm"...love this! ❤
this is why i've been actively seeking out snail mail and email penpals...i love unadulterated conversations and the joy of actually getting to know someone organically.
It’s not burying your head in the sand, it shows integrity! So many people are stuck on social media but can’t find the strength to quit. You recognized that twitter and insta are making it easier for people to inflict pain and overstep your boundaries, you took a stand and shut their nonsense down. People online have become so vile over the last 3 years. Twi… sorry, “X” is one of the worst offenders, but they’ve all gotten so toxic.
it kind of feels like the same kind of people that made LOL a bad game to play. So much hate and frustration.
BRAVO !!! You did the Wisest thing any human being could do. I did exactly the same Years ago from the very same negative things I've experienced. I wish normal people could realize the same conclusions you did.
Speaking for myself, I can imagine social media being used as a tool for a person with a personality disorder to portray rather the depths of how they see themselves, or a portrayal of how they want to be perceived.
Deleting social media was the best thing ever for me. At this point, I only have 1 friend who actively uses it. All of the rest of them? We just text, call, and meet up. I dont miss any of the bs one bit.
Well spoken and gives me a kick to stop wasting my time on social media.
Wise words, a lot of people would benefit from living a real life to an online one. Sharing personal info is an unbelievable error that people do without thinking. Digital decluttering is so refreshing.
You’re pretty much hit the hammer on the nail with this vlog. I’ve was on social media for six years and quitting it was the best decision. I ever made literally over the first two weeks of leaving it. My sleeping patterns got better. My concentration got better and my general mental and physical health improved a hell of a lot. I started to go out a lot more talking to people and just enjoy my life as it was before social media took over and consumed the world with its manipulation.
I did this years ago and it was a fantastic decision. I questioned myself of why am i wasting my time looking over post of people trying to put a false positive image of themselves and comparing myself and so on. If I need memes or interesting articles there is always Reddit.
I welcome you to the club!
I like how Reddit has different subreddits for different interests, but I had to quit that also because I saw people getting f downvoted for just giving their opinion about really small things, for example; green shirt vs blue shirt . XD
Good idea about Reddit
Completely understandable. I see stuff on Twitter and complain to my girlfriend about it instead of just not seeing it and enjoying time with her. It's extremely addictive and I think that's due to moments of perceived dullness. "Oh there's nothing to watch on TV-"
"I don't have anything to talk about-"
"All my friends are on their phones anyway-" "-so I'll just check my phone real quick."
It's a bad habit. But it's not treated like one which is the real issue.
Great video, very thought provoking. Hopefully I can bring myself to do the same some day.
when i get the urge to go back, these videos pop up and give me LIFE. thanks for sharing
This was a great video!!! I got off Facebook and Twitter many years ago and made my Instagram only for keeping up with the book community and things like cooking and decorating accounts. It has made such a difference in my life for the better and I love it.👏🏽
I've been done with socials for 10 months now, and I don't think i'll ever go back. It's a perspective that I find very important.
When people ask me why I'm not on social media, I'm going to send this video to all of them. Thank you!
that one negative thing which overpowers the million positive things… breaks my heart. I hear it’s true from so many creators who I want to shower-no, DROWN with appreciation, and I am doomed to know that’s not how it works. So, I think you’re very courageous to share your face and your videos with us. thank you ❤❤ i am feeling inspired to go on this analog socializing journey too!
Well done, Cinzia! That’s a huge accomplishment and very inspiring to hear. I’ve partially quit, I guess. My work leaves me contractually obligated to do some social media, but I’ve taken to managing that through Meta business suite from my computer during working hours and I’m much happier. When I find I’m out of the loop on the latest trend or meme, it gives me a little boost of joy knowing that I’m out of the loop because I’m budgeting my mental energy better.
Totally agree with your reasoning! I left all social media except Instagram, and I keep that page small and private. The change has been so refreshing! I feel more in control of my own narrative, and someone can't just look up every aspect of my past and skew details or make cringy references. Privacy is underrated.
I hope to join you soon. It’s a horrible distraction today that’s killing our souls.
Seeing one negative thing (among many positives) and have it haunt you for days is one of the things I struggle with THE MOST, being on social media.
Thank you thank you thank you! I quit social media for good this week and it's horrible to admit but having actual withdrawal.
The moments of doubt of what people think of me for stopping etc.
I want to focus more on my crafting and family. I just need videos like this to remind me I'm not alone in these feelings and I can do well without it!
Just found this channel yesterday, now binge watching, as well as Lady of the Library and your wonderful blog posts. So nice to find such an intelligent, interesting and attractive lady on YT. With an English (Irish?) accent to boot!
Coming back to this video over a year later, and your message Cinzia is even more relevant today. After a divisive US election fueled by skyrocketing propaganda / fake news on social media, I’m very tempted to follow your example.
My biggest hesitation is leaving behind all of the people that I mainly connect with through social media. Then again, I consider that we as humans weren’t designed to keep in touch with the number of people that social media allows us to, and a lot of those connections are ultimately (through no intention or ill will) hollow.
Something that this discussion reminds me of is the early COVID-19 pandemic: one could only connect with others outside your home via social media, and yet those connections were not fulfilling. One way I was able to alleviate that loneliness was, rather than connecting on social media, writing letters to my friends. It didn’t last with many of them, and it was time consuming, but it was a beautiful and meaningful way to connect with friends when we couldn’t see each other. Maybe quitting social media will give me more time to do that again; granted, probably on a smaller scale.
Perhaps, in the new year, I will try being social media-free for a few weeks and see how I feel.
This video is so validating. I have had some of these exact thoughts...and then promptly thought it was wild of me to think these things. Thank you thank you for sharing your view.
I did the same a few years ago and the impact was huge. Every day felt lighter and more enjoyable.
Cinzia, I hope to one day have the courage to do exactly the same. To me, Social Media has been a source of discontent rather than the well of innocent and happy connectedness it should be, however, being an artist, it is a necessary evil for now. I am not as easily communicative in vídeo, and therefore Instagram is still a medium to show some things off. You inspire me to step up my game so as to not need it anymore anytime in the future, and I, for one, am glad to see your thoroughly well-researched long form videos, you are a beacon of light, politeness and knowledge that should be celebrated anywhere you go. I hope your departure from social media brings you the peace you seek and that more and more People get to see you here. I admire you and I am sure thousands of people do as well.
"I can't set myself on fire to keep other people warm." YES! Good for you dear.
I only have a facebook account that I check once a week at most to see what's at the local farmer's market. I did use it during the COVID lockdowns but now that I can hang out with people ( or not), FB is rather useless.
I'm glad you are posting again here. You seem calmer now. Best wishes and thanks for these lovely little talks.
I think you're spot on. Social media *is* toxic. Largely by design.
Now that you're off most of it, it's only a matter of time before you start *writing letters* to people to keep in touch. They will both love it and think you've gone mad at the same time.
Enjoy reconnecting to the real world.
I've watched a lot of videos about this topic and I think this one is the most complete and precise. Thanks for sharing: I identified totally with your experience. I quit social media too a few weeks ago, and it has been liberating. Cheers from Chile, Southamerica.
Wonderful video, Cinzia! I quit most social media about a year and a half ago and completely stopped sharing incredibly personal parts of my life on the few parts of it I still used. It was so difficult at first, but just like you mentioned the cons just so vastly outweighed the pros for it. I truly think for myself, and maybe a lot of other people, is there's such an intense fear of missing out... it's this vague, burdening feeling that you will miss something important with your friends, miss something important in the news, miss something important with a piece of media you like, and the list goes on.
Once I stopped though, I stopped feeling as left out of things, in reality. Sure I wasn't aware of all my friends lives and the news all the time, but instead they talked to me now personally and I got to develop closer personal relationships with them because I truly couldn't know what was going on in their lives and vice versa without them checking in on me. With the news I ended up just finding out news that was important to my state or local area, which caused me to get more involved in communities around me and feel more confident in my ability to change things on a small scale than feel dread about the bigger stuff I had no way of tackling.
I grew up on the early internet and as a socially anxious child it gave me a sense of protection and belonging that I really needed back then. I think though the landscape has changed a lot and become less focused on actually connecting people and I don't find myself feeling comfort with these spaces in the same way as what I experienced back then. Collectively we need to stop relying so much on the internet and maybe go back to simply seeing it as a tool and resource to assist our day to day lives, but not where our lives and entire selves actually exist.
Thank you, I just discovered your channel and I’m already a subscriber. I deleted social media as well for every single reason that you have mentioned but I didn’t had the words to put them into. I feel also that “fear of being left out” on this circumstances and many of my friends have stopped talking to me because unfortunately they are pretty sucked in by Instagram and tiktok. It’s sad to see and realize what this technologies are doing to people and I feel sometimes alone and out of connection with “what’s in”, but overall I have never felt happier and at peace, not even in my teenage years ( when all that we had was MySpace and Fotolog). Thank you for sharing and I’m going to keep in touch on your videos. Regards ❤ (and sorry for my English).
I just found you the other day and I love your videos! You have inspired me. I want to rethink how I’m marketing my business and see if I can cut out all social media. I am strongly considering deleting my personal Facebook and Instagram. I spent the last week really cutting down my usage of social media and even on the first day, I began to realize just HOW detrimental social media is for me mentally and also how much it is reducing my capacity to perform at work and make progress toward my personal goals. You seem like such a lovely person and I truly wish the best for you ❤❤❤
Bravo! I totally agree with the reasons you put forth for quitting social media. I have been free of it for a few years now. To me, the constant inane sharing by others is tedious and pointless and such a waste of time. I have no desire to publicise my life and strive to reduce egotistical behaviour. It’s so strange sometimes to look around a room and be the only person not glued to a device screen. It makes me often feel like the odd one out. So thanks for your video, it’s good to know there are like minds out there!
I totally agree with you but am too scared to go fully into it! For me, it’s more about time wasting and seeing discriminatory attitudes. I’m trying for the middle road at present, but if it fails then m with you! Happy reading 💖
I applaud your efforts. I am beginning to think and try to find ways to do OTHER THINGS than being on social media, to use something else to preoccupy my time. I am tired of rude, unfriendly people in the comments section and I am tired of RUclips and other social media channels constantly recommending and promoting to me thins I AM NOT interested in or, things that I might be interested in, BUT THOUSANDS of repetitive videos. I am tired of the shallow, unintelligent people on social media and I am tired of the hundreds of sale ads bombarding me and even scammer sales calls on my Android phone.
You have a big collection of books. Last year I had written three books on meditation and spirituality as well as on social issues
Yo i just did this again today. I went 5 years wo anything and I don't remember why I went back. Nobody needs it.
I felt that when you said you were becoming misanthropic. Social media crystallizes so many bad human traits and behaviors in one place that I find myself disgusted by humanity sometimes. Not nearly as much before socials. Maybe I just had my head in the sand.
I also had to make an effort to not enter social media so often, and honestly, it was life changing. Just entering once a day makes a huge difference.
I never realised how much space it occupied on my mind. It is liberating to stay present in the moment.
I quit Facebook and never really used Instagram much and didn’t have twitter or any of the other ones because I found myself angry constantly after reading things people were saying on Facebook that were false or just mean. All of the trauma dumping and bragging that was going on there was really effecting my mental health negatively. I can to the conclusion that there were a lot of things that I would just rather not know about and losing that “connection” with people was a sacrifice that would be well made.
I agree with your views on social media, I got rid of all of it a while ago and I've been happier ever since. I also watch a lot of RUclips and sometimes feel so watch too much. However I do occasionally find something that I feel is actually enriching and inspiring to watch, I think this channel is in that category. I also found your channel organically on RUclips.
Every single thing you said about why you left is what had me backing away as well for good this year, Facebook in 2016 and Instagram earlier this year. I didn't want my peeps to have to find out what's going on in my life by scrolling through my feed (the date you had with the creepy scroll felt so icky). This meant I got to write and text and video chat more. Thank you for putting this out here.
Awww…this has just inspired me. I’ve been on reading slumps and this has enlightened me to gradually quit all my social media (except RUclips,ofc) and get back to reading. God bless you and best of luck for a no-social media life.❤
I am seriously considering making the break myself. You articulate many of the thoughts I have had about how negatively social media affects my life, so thank you! I need more fuel to the fire because I’m also experiencing anxiety at the thought of making that break…perhaps that is the addiction speaking!
Great video!! Thank you for sharing. Social media is a super weird thing and I wish it didn’t exist.
Thank you for this. You give a very inspired speech. It's much appreciated. I definitely don't think that leaving is akin to burying your head in the sand...rather more lifting your head above the smog.