Getting Married Young Was The Worst Mistake Of My Life
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
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Marrying young is not a problem but marrying wrong is.
Louder please 🥰🥰
@vuyo...u are right but stil when u are young u are likely to care too much what people say & u might tolerate abuse & not walk away,whereas when u are a bit older u are emotionally strong 2 walk away...but yr point also make sense...
Thank you please
@@LollyMadikiza-xw4ok 💯 I get you
Sana you could still marry wring at 40
I got married at 20 and I’d do it all over again hai kabi. We are both successful and doing well, not because we are lucky but we’ve worked so hard to be where we are right now. Being equally yoked to your partner and their family at extend also goes a long way in marriage. There’s so much to consider but at the end of the day what worked for me might not work for another 20yr old.
This was your path that you had to walk through Ninja to come out strong as you are right now ❤
Nice Sisi,wish you all the best. I just want to know how long have you been married (hope it doesn't offend you) . Psychological most marriages at a pre 25 age... Most of them in thirties are divorces ... what a mess. Rushing and crashing😢 for me
Then this message is not for you mam
@@starcaron8282 ... but I have asked Nthabiseng dats okay it's your opinion.
My Sweet Sister tell us what worked for you till date.
@@PhindieVickyIt's also their opinion sis, we can't confirm that. This year will be my 10th year.
I completely concur with this video's message. I declined two marriage proposals in my early twenties and I don't regret it. My Mom got married when she was 19 and by age 24 she had had three children. Unfortunately that man left her and we SUFFERED. I got married when I turned 30, and by then I had already been working. I learnt from my mom's mistake, I married older and I'll never put myself in a position where I have to depend on my husband for everything.
As a long term ninja, I have witnessed your transformation, I feel like your divorce was the best thing that has ever happened to you, you are doing better you are even looking better, I love this for you, you look amazing. Relationships literally limits people at some point.
Thank you 🥰
I have witnessed this transformation too @omphymoremi4770 & from where I am sitting Owami, that marriage was very toxic shame. I'm trying to think of marriages in my circles/ of people that I know who got married young & are living their happily ever after & the numbers are scary & mostly it's the women who have to keep up with the horrible things their husbands are doing but it's all taboo or babekezele inonsense, when you observe from an objective perspective...all in the name of "We've been married for 10 years" etc. Or it's because they are worried about what people will say or they're still there for the kids or the financial aspect of it or the comfort (not wanting to lose the lifestyle they're are used to).
But I also agree with the comment that it's not necessarily the fact that couples got married young but who they got married to & whether their spouse respected marriage when they committed and that they truly wanted to get married to their chosen spouse.
There are a few old couples with beautiful marriages that got married very young
Spot on ❤🥂 also being too serious in a relationship in your 20s, dating like you are married and being a “wife” to a boyfriend loosing years of your youth to an idiot. It’s a scam. Dont do it. Putting up with a broke boyfriend- being a ride or die chick. DONT. Focus on you, your happiness, beauty, growth and purpose. Focus on things/ relationships that elevate you as you go into your 30s and 40s and up
Thank you ❤
I agree, i had a child at 23 now I am turning 25. I can honestly say i wish waited more years before i can have a child, i love her more than anything. BUT I was not ready especially financially, currently unemployed and it's a struggle to raise a child with no income😢. If i had waited i would have gotten employed first , got married then had a baby. At the end of the day we learn but Ladies please, those with no children DONT HAVE A CHILD UNTIL YOU ARE READY IN ALL ASPECTS, MOTHERHOOD HAS ITS CHALLENGES BUT DONT LET IT BEING UNABLE TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BABY.
I pray you get a job so you can take care of yourself and baby. ❤
I get where you’re coming from and it’s a little tricky because people will want to defend their decisions (if they are in beautiful marriages). Marriage is good but the point is that we should encourage the younger generation to invest in themselves so that they are grounded in who they are, and hopefully they find a partner that matches their level.
Also, just because you got a good man early it doesn’t mean someone else will, so it’s tricky to use your love story as a blueprint because it might end the way it did for Owamie.
Long story short, there is no formula to this but we must make sure young women are empowered before they consider being in a serious relationship.
@ReabetsweManyike 🙌🏽This is so true. I think people also forget the amount of change you go through as a person from teen years - 20's and from 20's - 30's. I always think about where i would be if i married the guys i dated in my 20's. Jesus😢 I probably wouldn't even be living overseas and having such fun.
Life is not perfect it has it's bad days etc...,but i can safely say that i am living a good life.
Owamie's divorce was like a rebirth. She is glowing and looking younger. She must keep going.🎉
Both my older sisters got married before 24 and were strong enough to get out. Getting married young is a no no. At that time most young women do not know what they want.
It's a path you had to walk to be where you are today! ❤
As painful as it was or is,it was part of the journey you had to go through to get to here.And now u get to take that experience and educate others from your pain.Making lemonade out of lemons.
As a 20 year old girl, I am listening to your advices and life lessons. I will implement them in my life . ❤
I'm so proud of you as your big sis. I'm 28.
You have a bright future ahead of you
@@dancinginthepurplereign4126 thank you so much🥹❤️
The wise learn from other people's mistakes. Keep sharing wena Owamie you might save a Dom kop😂
😂😂😂
Thank you for educating our younger sistas Owamie, they REALLY NEED this❤🙏🏾
Cheer up baby gal, you doing exceptionally well for yourself & your sisters. De-centering men doesn't necessarily mean women must stay away from romantic relationship, it simply means, we as women should make ourselves the center of our own lives. Power and more strength to you. ❤💯🌹
Honestly it depends on who you’re getting married to, i am happy married we both got married while we were still young. My husband was 25 and I 23. 19 years anniversary and still counting ❤❤❤
Owamie, im 28 now and i had a child when I was 19... she's 9 now and honestly I'd have chosen to have her at a later stage and definitely with a different person😅 so i always use myself as an example to my younger sister who is 14... Dont get me wrong my daughter is the best and i love that child with every fibre of my being but having her at 19 and kipiting with her dad for 5 years that I'll never get back yoh that was the biggest mistake of my life
Something we don’t talk about enough is that there’s never a better time to have kids, you probably would have gone through the same situation if you chose to have them now. Struggles create character and now you know better.
I wish someone taught me this when i was younger 😢
Wisdom, baby sis! I hope the young ones take heed! I refused 2 marriage proposals when I was in Uni - boy would I have regretted!!! This is why I believe God truly loves me. I got married at 33 when I was doing my PhD! Best decision ever! Please find God's purpose for your life first, before committing to a man. For those who made that mistake, it's not too late to rediscover yourself and pursue your goals. Be patient with yourself during the process! We still learn even from those mistakes. ❤❤
So you were actually only married for 2 years😭.
You definitely do look younger & pretty post marriage/vat & sat🔥.
Thanks for the advice.
Life has no formula but you are right these young girl shouldn't be staying with a guy keep your boundaries and learn to advocate for yourself and always have your back don't think someone else has your back you must be the first one to have your back❤
we mostly get married young because of our situation
I agree with you on that note,vat 'n sit is like a mini marriage.problem rena basadi ra phapha.
Got married when I was 24 and now am 32. N honestly I regret getting married. I no longer have friends, when ever I mention going out with friends he starts complain that what are we talking abt with friends who are not married. My life revolves around him, even when I have to go attend family gatherings you can tell that he is not happy at all. At times I feel lonely and depressed in my own marriage. We have 2 kids now n he still wants more, I feel like his still trying to lock me so that other men don't look at me. At this point I feel like am just staying for the kids. Even the love am not sure if it's still the.
Painful to hear,please don't have more kids,for their sake!It's not nice for our kids to see us sad,you will struggle everyday with a heaviness in your heart and then you will have to force yourself to be happy for their sake.Stay in your marriage if you can,because as a divorced 34 year old single mom....this is hard.My only advice is don't have more kids if you are already feeling this way😢May God bless you
Other men aren't supposed to look at you vhele
But please try to talk to him about this
Don’t get a divorce. The grass is dry out here . Rather go for marriage counselling.
Don’t get fooled by some single bitter individual telling you the streets are nice It’s difficult out here . Pray fast and be thankful you have a good man in your life . Because end of the day you also not perfect
@@ntokotoPMI love the advice you gave . We need to encourage marriages and also encourage counselling as well.
I feel like u the one who is not ready or committed
I am so sorry to hear that you feel like you lost time.
I feel like that about not cutting off my abusive family sooner.
They were limiting and sabotaging my growth.
I cut them off at 25, I had to spend many years healing and I feel like only now at 28, am I realising my true worth and value.
Getting married young is not a problem. The problem the marriage you enter into.
Let’s encourage young kids to focus on themselves
@@boldlyowamieMarriage should be encouraged as well .
@@boldlyowamie no you chose a shity man thats what you did
But how does one ever really know that they married wrong In the beginning of the marriage? People change and grow up certain ideas and world views change as you grow, how do you make conscious decisions as an individual for what’s best for you without having to consider all the time your partner, women tend to sacrifice more than men and that’s when resentment builds up. BUT if you continuously want to live for someone or being influenced by someone else all your life from a young age then by all means marry young ladies.
@@NosifundisoHoho the red flags are always there
Please don't take this message the wrong way and please delete it if you find it offensive. "Able to can" is not quite right and I hear you say it a lot. "Able to" and "can" kinda mean the same and can't sit next to each other. I'm able to do this and that or I can do this or that. Saying it in most polite manner. Enjoy your videos and keep going.
I use "Able to can" when I'm being spicy now😂😂😂 got it from Owamie. It used to bother me in the beginning but I got used to it. Also, your comment is polite, I'm sure she won't take offence.
I am Zulu staying in Venda Limpopo, and this is exactly how everyone talks, they use " able to can" even professors and Dr's, so I guess it's Venda-English, as long as we can understand
Love how you highlighted your politeness. It’s refreshing because you never know what mood someone is in which may influence how they receive correction❤️
It's a meme reference
@@lettienahole She got if from Khaya Dlanga as a meme reference. I think he jokingly said unable to be able which graduated to unable to can😂😂😂😂
Don’t date if you’re not trying to share a life with someone. Dating should be for marriage, keep your life simple. Mjolo is unnecessary. It will lead to serious life problems 😭
Try Jesus ladies, if you’re in your early 20’s and you’re not ready for marriage, trust me you’re not ready for dating as well. Make Jesus your center because you do need to make someone your center (that’s a human need). Yekani abafana! It’s rare to grow a boy into a man of your dreams. One of you will realize later in that you actually settled for less. This leads to abusive and toxic relationships.
Well said 👌👌👌📌📌📌
Spot on🙏💯
I'm 35 my son is 12. I literally don't wanna be a mother. I never planned to have a child before wedlock. It happened. So I feel you
Sending love mommy ❤❤❤ you are doing well. May God continue to bless you 🙏
@@confessions4043 ei not many people understand siswam. Ngiyabonga ❤️🙏it's hard to share our stories coz people judge us. Kanti that robs those who are in dire situations a chance to start over and fight
@aphi...I literally want 2 be a mom so i envy u💔
@@LollyMadikiza-xw4ok wanna raise my son?
I have been watching you for years now. I feel like you are a big sis to me. I really needed to hear this today because I had to walk away from a relationship with a cheating broke man. This was so reassuring ❤. Sending positive vibes ❤❤❤
You did the best thing for yourself, future you will thank you🥰
I love the new logo
Oh my days 😮 I had not even noticed it 😍. Busy reading comments while I listen 😅.
Mamela mama your background is backgrounding ...your sound is sounding ur picture quality is picture qualiting and the face is absolutely gorgeous. We appreciate you and the content you give us mama❤
There's marrying young and there's marrying wrong.
💯
And there’s marrying young and wrong 😂
@@boldlyowamie 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@GloryBetoGod365in your 30s you will be mature enough to handle the idea of a failed marriage though
Long distance marriage has a lot of challenges BUT what I love and enjoy about it is I can be myself and work on myself (healthy, career and other aspects of life). I honestly get your point, I feel like people relax and get too comfortable in marriage until the marriage falls then we start thinking of working on self
I think continuously compromising yourself in any relationship is the problem. if I'm going to put someone first, they should be doing the same for me.
"Marry late than early"🤞
"Marry right than marry wrongly" even if people marry late, if it's the wrong person, they'll still go to that divorce court
Thanks for sharing in such issues ,these are the issues we need to raise awareness among the your ladies especially.
One must eatlist develop herself financial and be independent, nothing is hurtful as seeing a divorcee with children and nothing to fall back on.
I don't think you can say you were married for the whole 9 years because it defeats the purpose of teaching women not to vat n sit with a man because it's not worth it on our end mostly. So you were in a relationship for 7 years and married for 2.
Exactly dear . Marriage of 2 years it’s still in infancy “honeymoon “ phase . Nit much experience. Her mistake staying with a man before marriage for 7 years
The Gen-Zs have a lot of opportunities BUT they waste an opportunity to rise to the highest of their levels because they also like mjolo so so much. They just cant live without having a relationship. I dont understand what the fuss is all about having a girlfriend/boyfriend. This however limits them to fly even higher
You're right. Thank you for this sisterly advice
true. personally, i feel like most of us (late-bloomers), tend to be fools for love. this is why i heavily encourage dating in Highschoool. dating and not engaging in coitus escapades because you tend to have thick skin. if you are still new to the game, you tend to be naive.
Heyiii did this and I am glad i never engaged. Now I leave at the slightest inconvenience. I leave
it’s very important shem. you don’t have to have sex but dating is essential. it hepls alot. aloooot.
"Whether you like it or not staying with a man limits you as a woman” speak for yourself, sis. I see your perspective, but not everyone is suffering, Owami. I live with my husband, but he does not prevent me from taking care of myself or limit me from thriving in my job. It can be limiting for some, but it is not true for everyone. It's a personal and preference thing, sis. It’s mind blowing how you think your truth is what everyone else is going through.
You are projecting. What Owami said makes sense because when you are in a committed relationship (esp. marriage), you always have to be considerate of your partner and their family (as a Makoti), even when making decisions that are about your own personal/career development. You can't just up and leave to go to another city/country to further your studies or take up a higher position to advance your career. You always have to plan ahead and involve your partner. It's a burden that you have to carry as a partnered person. That is the truth. Your partner might not necessarily prevent you or say no. But there will always be those ''what about ABC?'' whenever you make a life changing decision about your own personal development moves.
What am I projecting ?
Ndiyakuthanda sana thanks for sharing a lot of women need to hear this
Im not married ne...
"Getting married young"... is not for everyone... No matter how much you work on the marriage.... It is not for everyone... Everyone will have a unique experience.
Be kind to each other 🙏
Marriage on its own isn't for everyone. Scripture says so. Everyone indeed has their unique path.
@@ntokotoPMtrue
i loooooOOOOve that you also took accountability of your actions. talk ‘bout growth ❤️🥰. Mommy, we need such messages to be very repetitive.
One thing about you ninja, you are so frank and honest. This is amazing advice for women of all ages but more importantly, women in their early 20s. I love you ❤💙💜
Submissive providers😭😭😭i know alot of womem who are living this life...Lord may it not be my portion
Babes, no matter how much you played the role of a married woman, you will never be classified as one for those years you lived a Vat en Sit lifestyle.
So I feel like the "regret" here should be directed to not doing the Vat en Sit lifestyle because it is what you've experienced the most.
I hear and respect how you felt as though you were married though.
No to me i will forever consider myself Married for 9 years 🥰
Thank you for sharing your experiences&lessons learned.I like that you still highlighted that this will not apply to every person who marries young.Life is not black/white and our experiences will differ.Thank you for giving advise to the young ones.
Even for those who are young are young&happily married its still important as a woman to be able to survive should your man not be there.Death sadly happens& estates can take time to wrap up so if you cant stand on your own as a woman you and your kids are screwed.A girl must have her own stuff and an identity outside of a relationship please.
Havent been married long enough to give anyone advice but marrying young&having kids has saved my life.Im def a better wife in my 30s than I was in my 20s😂
I won’t lie, I don’t regret being in a long term relationship my entire 20s. Naturally, I’m not an ambitious person so I wouldn’t blame him for me not having achieved certain things in my 20s. Would I advise my 21 year old niece to do that? Absolutely not 😊😌
Wow so nice to hear another woman saying they're not ambitious...with this hustle culture going on,I was feeling bad about myself for not being ambitious.😅
@@yogigoyi you’re definitely not the only one babe, maybe we’re broken 🤭
@zandimeme165 hahaha no man,maybe our personalities are suited to be with someone who should be the ambitious one.I can't be out here hustling😅
@@yogigoyi true, indoda must be a chronic hustler please 😅
I guess the issue is not being "committed at a young age," but rather not play wife to a man who is not your husband, regardless of the age. Committed to your one partner regardless of the age is a beautiful story.
Owamie only speaks the truth. Too many people in these comments are saying marrying wrong but for an ambitious woman, marrying young will only hold you back.
Thank you Owamie for being our big sister 💚 not a lot of people speak about these things!
In that situation my ninja...okare nka loma vat and sit😢😢😢
If you are a Christian, make things right with God. He can't bless this current arrangement. I'd fast and pray for clarity and strength.
Married at 21, he made me quit varsity even though he was cool with it when we were still dating. Seven years later he is in varsity now, ngihlekeni, the clown is me I'm the clown here
Go back and finish or start over. You're still young. Register for next year even.
@@yolanda.s7033 well I am working as a creative writer for the past two years and have been thinking of getting a degree related to that
Oh babe .it hurts..but it's not too late for something good for u .I really pray something valuable comes yr way .
Weee
Owamie .I can relate...truth hurts.. most of us r regretting .deep down we know .we r just ashamed or not ready to admit .trying to balance things that r not balancing even if u cast a spell .
Great video Owam. I think as a person you need time to know yourself and you can't really do that if you leave your parent's house and go stay in another person's house. But obviously, it's different strokes for different folks.
3:48 As a 20 year old virgin, I wanted to get married at 21 Mara maye not anymore.
My chomi, i pray you never lose that virginity to a man who hasn't married you.
And please, exercise discernment and prayer when tackling relationships. Pray a lot and marry the right person. How do you know they're right? Discernment should help and prayer
You are on the right path! A smart girl indeed. Don't let men pressure you into sleeping with them.
I've made one silly decision in my life that I still regret,I got pregnant and dropped out of school because of Indonda.😅my life revolved around him child....
I learnt my lesson,I'm still trying to get my life together even today.Im still studying at this age because of the silly decision I took 5 years ago.
I wouldn't advise anyone to drop out of school or fall pregnant because of a man😢
A real man will support you all the way.
Praying that God will restore the years that you post
Did you guys read the title? She said “of my life”. Keyword: MY. Meaning Owamie. She’s sharing HER regrets about marrying young.😂
Couldn't agree with u more .
Your stories are helping us as young women to make better choices in life and make decisions that will best benefit US. So thank you Owamie❤️
Power to you❤❤I tell my child who is 19 that you can be whatever you want to be be an all rounder if you.explore nana. Beautiful video❤
In my opinion life has no equation, relations are not the same, we are not gifted the same and we will never be the same.!!
Our destinations will never be the same!.. One must just follow her heart.
I share the same sentiments
Owamie wat you are saying most woman will relate and please forgive yourself for your mistakes ......this is a powerful testimony .We all have different journeys in life and i believe that the enemy is out there to finish young ppl with making vat n sit fashionable .....all in all as a 37 year old woma i agree with everything you said.
Thank you for sharing your personal experiences with us ❤ very informative
Am here for girl talk Thursday ❤
I'm glad I got married at 30. It's working well with me❤
owami sounds like she's commentating a soccer match, with white scouts watching from the stands.
Owami thank you very much for telling us nothing but true.
Those with ears will hear you...😍
Your story Queen Ninja is very relatable. I was also living with a man at a very young age. When he finally paid lobola. We fell off in love and we broke up. I was left with 2 daughters and he married another woman. Looking back i think i was living for another person. I wished i had focus on myself more. I have build a man for another woman. I will never do that. I am always telling my daughters to live for themselves when they are in their 20s. In my household this our national anthem. Thank you for sharing
Aus owamie, I want to tell you I appriciate your advices. keep more coming.
i also regret getting married early
Eish
You look Absolutely gorgeous 🥺❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️I love you ❤️
I wish I had someone to advise me like this when I was younger..how important it is to find myself and enjoy my individuality
I did exactly that I was with a guy for 13 years imagine I meet him when I was 19🙈 worst mistake I have ever made and later on the guy showed me flames😂 but I'm happy now out of his life💃 so I can relate with your story
This is where I an right now...came back with 3 kids , unemployed 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 I wish I could go back
@@KayRamzI'm so sorry :(
Don't worry about the years that you have lost Ninja, you might feel like you have missed out kanti that marriage kept you from something worse which could have even prevented you from being were you are today. Nothing happens by mistake, everything is God's plan.
You were officially married for 2 years only and marriage at that stage it’s at infancy “ honeymoon “ phase . You don’t have experience regarding giving advice about marriage.
The advice should be I regret living with a boyfriend before marriage. You are still traumatised. You need to heal
And move on ❤
Owamie could be a Libra,she is so full of tea and i am here for it❤🎉
She's a cancer.
I don’t think getting married young was your most mistake you’ve ever made . Your mistake was focusing on other people’s marriages while yours was falling apart . Talking evil and gossiping about people who has nothing against you also contributed to your failure in life , yes you might have money and miserable.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 because you are me akere😂 i focused on what made me millions now check that😚
@@boldlyowamie hahaha, millions and miserable.? Making money by being mean and nasty . Your life is all about pretending , girl you’ve empty even your money won’t fill you up
Toxic wena
That was your journey and it can be different with others
sisi Owami you have no idea how much this talk means to me. I am turning 26 in July and I have been that girl who took relationships serious, in my final year 2022 I broke up with my boyfriend because he cheated on me. We met at university and started dating, my first boyfriend broke my heart after 3 years of dating. I almost died, I cried every night but thank God for Jesus because I was able to stand firm and believe that I will heal from the heartbreak, I thought I was going to fail my final year but God is so faithful . I am now working as a qualified teacher and I am enjoying my money in peace. I have so much that I would like to achieve, and I am in a healthy relationship with a supportive, loving and kind man.
God bless you and may you continue to be a light
That BO logo or whatever you call it... Beautiful ❤❤❤❤❤ love it.
28:42 mina i heard you Owami😭♥️
Yaz this sit down video really opened my eyes.Thanks you Owamie❤
Honestly speaking, as someone who has gone through varsity problems, that girl failed and had no option but to stay with that man😂😂😂
O nakelela ngamaanda, your makeup is tops❤. Stay blessed girl.
It’s better to get married young because ha o iphumana o tla be o ntse o le ngwana and it will be simply to live your best life specially if you get divorced young
Thank you for the video i have been waiting for something like this for a long time
❤Thank You so much for educating us 💯❤
Well done owami for a great motivation and advise aluta continua 👏
I don't think the is a problem with getting married young it's getting married wrong let's not paint marriage as a bad thing there are many women who married young and are still in good healthy marriages.... Amadoda angafani it's all about who you married
I got married and divorced same age as you. I Married wrong and I regret it. Worse part it was an arranged marriage😭😭
Owamie this was such a deep video with real advice ❤
Very well said💯🙌
25 is an age where you are emotionally matured to make decisions about a life partner, before 25 we should be focusing on preparing for you own future. So any age after 25 is suitable to get married as you are more matured
Married at 19 and married 20 years for what!!?? 😭😭😭
If only I could turn back the hands of time.
What an absolute waste of my time! (& life)
Love my kids to death though 😢💝.
💔💔
You're who you are now because of all your life choices and experiences. Never regret the past if you like who you are now. Because that past made you.
And yes, there's something to be said about marriages that are based on lust, convenience, and "what will people say".
God needs to be at the centre especially in these times when marriages are collapsing left right and centre.
Another thing is repenting, we need to repent to God for listening to our flesh and not living according to his ways.
We often pierce ourselves with many sorrows when we ignore God's way.
How does one ever really know that they married wrong In the beginning of the marriage? People change and grow up certain ideas and world views change as you grow, how do you make conscious decisions as an individual for what’s best for you without having to consider all the time your partner, women tend to sacrifice more than men and that’s when resentment builds up. BUT if you continuously want to live for someone or being influenced by someone else all your life from a young age then by all means marry young ladies.
So Jackie Pamotse made a right choice by getting married in her 30s. ❤❤🎉🎉
Is she still married?
@@E-newsNamibia she got married last weekend
You did not lie sis❤
You are spitting facts Owamie
Absolute sense🙌