RULES FOR DATING AFTER FORTY by RC Blakes

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  • Опубликовано: 11 июл 2021
  • #RCBLAKES #Dating #Relationshipgoals
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Комментарии • 1,2 тыс.

  • @marilyndenham7039
    @marilyndenham7039 3 года назад +996

    KEY POINTS:
    1. Don't let others dictate your dating life.
    2. Don't waste time with clear red flags.
    3. Be certain that this situation works
    for you financially.
    4. Be sure you can accept the person for
    who they are. Be sure they can
    accept you for who you are.
    5. This is not the season to build a mate.
    6. Make sure this person interests you on
    deeper levels.
    7. Never subsidize your self esteem by
    dating younger.
    8. Learn from your past mistakes.
    9. Dress your age.
    10. Pay attention to their relationship
    history.

  • @princessgigiking
    @princessgigiking 3 года назад +328

    Never Ignore How A Person Makes You Feel. 💎💎💎

    • @MsButterfly57
      @MsButterfly57 3 года назад +3

      Sometimes I think it my own insecurities

    • @georgethompson8196
      @georgethompson8196 3 года назад +2

      FACTS!!! Listen Boopski

    • @rendajohnson2978
      @rendajohnson2978 2 года назад +3

      Gigi you are so right you pay attention to how a person treats you and how it makes you feel.

    • @myrnahill3264
      @myrnahill3264 2 года назад +2

      I luv u guys ur such an inspiration to my soul and have been sharing these messages to other and told them to click on it

    • @micheleprice9771
      @micheleprice9771 2 года назад

      AMEN! SO TRULY RIGHT NOW! YES INDEED! GREAT INSPIRING AMAZING WORDS OF WISDOM! GOD BLESS US ALL! GOD LOVES US ALL! SELF LOVE! BELOVED! LET YR LIGHT 4EVER SHINE BRIGHT!:GOD IS OUR EVERYTHING! GOD CAN HANDLE ANYTHING! GOD HAS US COVERED ! GOD IS WORKIN IT OUT! ON HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT TIME! HOLD ON TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD IS ALWAYS WITH US! PRAY OFTEN AND DAILY TO GOD ALWAYS! GOD WILL SEE US THRU ALL THINGS IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GLORY TO GOD ALMIGHTY! SMILE ALWAYS!( EVEN IN STORMS THAT U GO THRU!) TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR THIS BLESSED TODAY! TELL THE LORD THANK U FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! BE GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THINGS! AND FOR EVERYONE IN YR LIFE RIGHT NOW AND ALWAYS! GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE U NOR FORSAKE U! PEACE AND HARMONY TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW! YES INDEED! ENOUGH SAID! THATS IT! SEPT 2021

  • @maguiedossantos2925
    @maguiedossantos2925 3 года назад +429

    After the age of 40 ...
    "This is not the season to struggle"
    "This is not the season to build a mate"
    " This is not the season to taken on projects "
    Yes Pastor...No more struggle love.
    This is the season for healthy love
    Amen ❤🙏

    • @faith6575
      @faith6575 3 года назад +11

      💯💯💯

    • @andreaswanson1596
      @andreaswanson1596 3 года назад +19

      Amen! No More time for Potential Mates and Build A Man Projects!

    • @earthreign7128
      @earthreign7128 3 года назад +16

      To the men who come across this post, this goes for us too...don't build us up either. When we don't have what we expect from you, leave...you don't have to settle for "Less" regardless.

    • @user-hz4lx8gn6c
      @user-hz4lx8gn6c 3 года назад +7

      @@earthreign7128 Good One!!!
      All the sistas on here want a man and most are in emotional shambles and some riddled with personality disorder issues.

    • @geraldinewilliams8110
      @geraldinewilliams8110 2 года назад

      Dating or friendship lts for some if they find happiness with someone YOU CAN LIVE YOUR LIFE AND ENJOY EVERY ONE NOT LOOKING FOR MARRIAGE THIS SESSION IS A BIT MUCH LIVE AND LET LIVE PEOPLE LOOK WEIRD POSSIBLY AT 20. HOW. DO U KNOW JUDGE????

  • @amalyah46
    @amalyah46 3 года назад +71

    I'm 59yrs old with no children and never married by choice. You are right. Many men and women need therapy, get healthy, get their spiritual and financial lives in order. I working on all of these things now. It's never too late for happiness.

  • @dorothyechols2922
    @dorothyechols2922 3 года назад +179

    Never ignore how a person makes you feel, on a deeper level. Beware of those who try to bring your self-esteem down.

    • @officemute6096
      @officemute6096 2 года назад +3

      Yep just finished signing one off after a month trying to tell me I am hard work after trying to tell me I'm frigid, stupid, silly the list goes on.......

    • @rhondacummings
      @rhondacummings 2 года назад

      Amen!

  • @shauntrellnelson5059
    @shauntrellnelson5059 3 года назад +280

    “Trauma that is swept under the rug has not left your home.” 🔥

    • @pamelacoleman3213
      @pamelacoleman3213 3 года назад +8

      Say it again🗣️🗣️🗣️ and that's for any age group not just for us over 40!!!!!

    • @awabokum8193
      @awabokum8193 3 года назад +4

      So true 👍

    • @jahcure2011
      @jahcure2011 2 года назад

      Indeed

    • @Giftis2sing
      @Giftis2sing 2 года назад

      I felt that! And I’ve also experienced it and it’s no joke!! I lived with a man that was still in the home where his father abused his mother. I knew in my heart 💜 that he was still dealing with the trauma but of course he wouldn’t admit it. So instead he took all of his anger and hurt out on me! 🤬

  • @adrianajb
    @adrianajb 2 года назад +73

    “No woman should dress to sexually entice; And you should dress to dignify. YOUR DRESS CODE SHOULD REPRESENT YOUR MORAL CODE; And it should also represent your stage in life.”
    Thank you Sir!

    • @Cellia836
      @Cellia836 11 месяцев назад

      I totally agree with that. I see so many women looking like hookers anymore and it makes all of us look bad too.

  • @reneejacobs8183
    @reneejacobs8183 3 года назад +79

    “Never ignore how a person makes you feel.” RC Blakes

  • @dsmith9709
    @dsmith9709 3 года назад +137

    Please do a video on people over 40 taking care of their health. I'm over 40 and I have made my health a priority since I was a child. I have no health issues but sometimes I get with people over 40 they are so focus on their blood pressure, diabetes and lots of other ailments. I have no such issues. Men who are interested in me has health issues that I don't want to be involved with. I'm a nurse for 20 years and I don't want to nurse a man at home. I'll be burnt out! Please address being healthy.

    • @deesnuts90210
      @deesnuts90210 3 года назад +16

      That would be an excellent topic.

    • @donnat8840
      @donnat8840 3 года назад +9

      D, I agree with you. That would be an excellent topic.

    • @Coco-ms8kl
      @Coco-ms8kl 3 года назад +7

      💪🏾Yesssssssssssssss

    • @kasand01
      @kasand01 2 года назад +21

      No one wants to be a “Nurse with a Purse” taking care of Pops after he’s spent all his good years chasing women. Now he’s old, & broke down and wants to be entertained.

    • @dianechurchill5227
      @dianechurchill5227 2 года назад +10

      I hope your request is honored! I am in the same boat you're in concerning health and I'm almost 80, a vegan and not on any medication. (I'm content with my life and not dating although people usually think I'm 20 years younger.)

  • @cresha80
    @cresha80 3 года назад +193

    “Contentment is the clue that you are clear enough to choose correctly.” ~ Pastor R.C. Blakes

  • @deborahmcnamara4160
    @deborahmcnamara4160 3 года назад +133

    I
    Even at 71! I’m looking forward to this one! Believe it or not!

    • @nataliableu6390
      @nataliableu6390 3 года назад +4

      I'm 71st like.😇

    • @MsButterfly57
      @MsButterfly57 3 года назад +5

      I'm almost 70. Been single since I was 38. I have some kind of problem from childhood. Grass may be greener next time. Company and someone to travel with would be nice.

    • @WarriorQueen1962
      @WarriorQueen1962 2 года назад +5

      Age ain’t nothing but a number!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾

    • @ga9100
      @ga9100 2 года назад +1

      Mz. McNamara do respect 🙏🏾 ur still dating❓

  • @patriciaking62
    @patriciaking62 3 года назад +380

    My husband passed 7 months ago. We were married for 30 years. Friends and family are telling me to date. They say that he would’ve wanted me to move on quickly because I’m not getting younger. I might not be younger but I’m a whole lot smarter!!! Thank You Pastor!!!🙌🏾🙏🏾🕊

    • @Roni-Ron
      @Roni-Ron 3 года назад +73

      Take your time, I let friends rush me and ended up In some mess!!! Heal, grieve love on yourself have a good time someone will find you!!! I just learned this so I’m passing it on

    • @coachkirstendevans
      @coachkirstendevans 3 года назад +82

      Please Grieve and Heal and then enjoy singlehood. No need to rush. 30 years is a long time to just move into something new. Besides the men today are not like the men of yesteryear.

    • @patriciaking62
      @patriciaking62 3 года назад +8

      @@Roni-Ron Thank You!!!🙏🏾🕊❤️

    • @patriciaking62
      @patriciaking62 3 года назад +18

      @@coachkirstendevans Thank You and You are SO Right!!! The men and everything else seem to be different!!!🙏🏾🕊❤️

    • @ladyzinada5341
      @ladyzinada5341 3 года назад +6

      I'm sure he played a good role in your WISDOM too.

  • @TheLuvlfe
    @TheLuvlfe 3 года назад +158

    See, I know I am NOT CRAZY... People say I'm being unrealistic when I say I am not into STRUGGLE LOVE at the age of 51.. Thank you Bishop Blakes for your WISDOM!

    • @StandupGirl-ym3ey
      @StandupGirl-ym3ey 3 года назад +3

      AMEN!!

    • @shannonlivingston8109
      @shannonlivingston8109 3 года назад +6

      Yes Sis, you got my vote! I am NOT interested in struggle love at age 60. I’ve been there, done that and I have the scars to prove it. As my mother used to say, I’ve gotten waaaasy too long in the tooth to do that!!!

    • @Arya-pe1dr
      @Arya-pe1dr 3 года назад +17

      The point is that no woman of standards at any age should entertain struggle love!!!! It was not fun in my 20s or late teens either!! Had I known better then, I would not have entertained any STRUGGLE from a trifling man or boy!!! Young women need to embrace not tolerating BS either. Struggling is not okay in the younger years either ladies!!!!

    • @eroldjbaptiste1198
      @eroldjbaptiste1198 3 года назад

      @@shannonlivingston8109
      Thanks

    • @valarieivory1082
      @valarieivory1082 3 года назад

      Me......too!

  • @brittanyb5942
    @brittanyb5942 3 года назад +89

    Side note: you can ask about their relational history but most people will lie and blame the other person. That's a tricky subject

    • @korissaguyton6895
      @korissaguyton6895 3 года назад +19

      That's also the red 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩- lack of insight

    • @juneelle370
      @juneelle370 3 года назад +27

      Just let them talk... and keep talking because there might be some good lessons or red flags they drop. I think it’d be good to straight up ask what are the mistakes you’ve made and what would you do differently now? If they don’t at least want to pick up and consider the question, that really shows they don’t have the desire to do any introspection. There’s always something to learn, even if you did have a terrible partner...

    • @renatalove5212
      @renatalove5212 3 года назад

      LIARS DON'T GO TO HEAVEN DUH

    • @kw7187
      @kw7187 3 года назад +12

      The good news is that if we learn how to a person's body language, ask questions based on it, we can learn a lot. We also have to realize that people are frequently communicating when they or we think they are not. A wise person once told me when I said,"Why didn't such and such person just tell me...? " She said, (about his silence, "He did". . So we must listen for both what is said and not...

    • @ka8204
      @ka8204 2 года назад +8

      Well it’s a red flag if they always blame other ppl

  • @Betternow1974
    @Betternow1974 2 года назад +16

    I'm 47 and I want something different and I'm willing to do the work. I'm in trauma therapy right now and it's all new, I want to heal. I ll say it again, I want to heal. The price is too big, I want to feel better, I want to play my music and be healthy through my whole life. Love addiction is not how I want to live anymore. RC your words are like Gold thank you

  • @robertajohnson9750
    @robertajohnson9750 3 года назад +184

    I’m not into building a mate business, go to the Mall to Build A Bear not after 50...I got it Bishop 😂😂😂

  • @daughteroftheking721
    @daughteroftheking721 3 года назад +42

    "Trama swept under the rug, is still in your home!" That"s Good Already!

  • @juliasilvaosp
    @juliasilvaosp 3 года назад +28

    Happiness is not something delivered to you by someone else … there is no Santa Clause giving the gift of happiness!!!!

  • @lensim9100
    @lensim9100 3 года назад +72

    Personally I take no interest in a man old enough to be my father or young enough to be my son nor do I allow them to take. interest in me.

    • @ladyzinada5341
      @ladyzinada5341 3 года назад +1

      Good

    • @zeewash7153
      @zeewash7153 3 года назад +5

      Can't prevent them from taking an interest but we can stop it by letting them know I'm not interested. No meals, no phone calls, nothing more than a cordial greeting.

    • @TheLuvlfe
      @TheLuvlfe 3 года назад +2

      YESSS!

    • @SamandAl2013
      @SamandAl2013 3 года назад +1

      Agreed but are you seeing 85% of advances come from these groups?

  • @NoMoreTears64
    @NoMoreTears64 2 года назад +21

    Thank you Pastor. As a 62 year old woman who is beginning to date again, I so appreciated your words of wisdom. Dating at this age is definitely much different then dating in my 20's was.
    "I'm not into the "build a mate" business. Go to the mall and get yourself a little bear" OMG I needed this. In the past I have been addicted to "projects"

    • @cherylladd3282
      @cherylladd3282 Год назад +1

      😂😂😂 this was so cute. I hear you sis.

  • @RCBlakesJr.
    @RCBlakesJr.  3 года назад +89

    Thank you for joining. Please LIKE and Subscribe

    • @nicoleharris6488
      @nicoleharris6488 3 года назад +2

      Pastor I swear God sent you in and Lisa into my life to be a light in a dark place!!
      Thank you so much for every word you give us!

    • @KISSTHECHEF2010
      @KISSTHECHEF2010 3 года назад +1

      Done...

    • @debbiedye9710
      @debbiedye9710 3 года назад +1

      Done!!! A long long time ago ❤️

    • @karenelizabethpalmer4295
      @karenelizabethpalmer4295 3 года назад +1

      Dear Pastor Blake's, I'm in my early 50's, thank you for this Straight Forward Message.

    • @valleygirl9783
      @valleygirl9783 3 года назад

      Good Word and Message God Bless you

  • @smores8982
    @smores8982 3 года назад +80

    “Trying to put lipstick 💄 on a pig 🐷 “….almost choked on my gulp of water! Love your videos! Your advice is solid.

    • @e.adriannapatterson3900
      @e.adriannapatterson3900 3 года назад +7

      Babie 898, 😂😂😂. He has me on the floor laughing all the time. He is smart, wise, intelligent, grounded And, yesssss funny.

  • @la-nekabrown6825
    @la-nekabrown6825 3 года назад +24

    “I have ENOUGH LOVE FOR ME! My self esteem is not impacted by the fact that YOU CAN NOT appreciate ALL MY GREATNESS.” I felt that to my core!

  • @princessgigiking
    @princessgigiking 3 года назад +42

    1. Don't let others dictate your dating life. 💎💎💎

  • @truthtellers2953
    @truthtellers2953 3 года назад +73

    I’m not in the BUILT-THE-MATE-BUSINESS period! 😄

    • @zephomalunga5251
      @zephomalunga5251 3 года назад +2

      I always tell people, I do projects for a living, and I won't do such projects in my dating life...

    • @katherinedula4767
      @katherinedula4767 3 года назад +1

      At All point blank. You either have it or you dont

    • @sanemawilliams7312
      @sanemawilliams7312 3 года назад

      🤣

  • @daniellejones1460
    @daniellejones1460 3 года назад +102

    My children just don’t want to see me hurt and taking advantage of.

    • @chungamanzi8764
      @chungamanzi8764 3 года назад +4

      That's my son's concern

    • @Arya-pe1dr
      @Arya-pe1dr 3 года назад +1

      Children wouldn't have to worry about their mom being taken advantage of is she has basic common sense and standards!!! Some young women don't have standards as they were never taught by their mother. So, technically you being older than your kids should be able to teach them something based on wisdom acquired from you aged experience. If you have learned from mistakes and don't repeat them like some stupid older women, then you should be concerned about your kids being hurt because at your older age you should be wiser to not be a target. It's that simple.

    • @Kayjames44
      @Kayjames44 3 года назад

      This frightens my children also

    • @WarriorQueen1962
      @WarriorQueen1962 3 года назад

      Amen!!! My children are the same way.

  • @xochitlduran4650
    @xochitlduran4650 3 года назад +57

    You don't know how your videos have helped me . You are awesome . Your wife is so caring why ? Because she has no problem with you making these videos to help us ladies move forward. I am so happy to see You and Lisa doing this ministry. Your reward will be great in heaven. Thank you both

  • @DanaeLaurenTolbert1
    @DanaeLaurenTolbert1 3 года назад +88

    Just turned 40 yesterday. Perfect timing! I retired from the "build a bear" industry eons ago. That's unacceptable at any age. I remember at 19 being approached by a man in his 50s. Listen I have father! I don't need another one. He was trying to buy me. Bragging about how many businesses he owned. I am not for sale. He was dressed like he was in his 20s blasting DMX. SMH.

    • @tyoung3509
      @tyoung3509 3 года назад +8

      Happy late bday @Danae Lau. The last part of your message had me screaming 🤣😂😂 not DMX at his age lol

    • @Glamrocs
      @Glamrocs 3 года назад +3

      Happy birthday 🎉

    • @ladyzinada5341
      @ladyzinada5341 3 года назад +1

      Truth.

    • @ladyzinada5341
      @ladyzinada5341 3 года назад +1

      Happy Belated Birthday

    • @joycewatt800
      @joycewatt800 3 года назад +1

      😂🤣😂

  • @mellondyasanders1671
    @mellondyasanders1671 3 года назад +37

    It’s amazing how meditating in the word God, has taught me that my body is a temper of the Holy Spirit. Peace, self-control, and faith is governing my life 4 5 years. He will give me the desires of my life. A young 58

  • @gloriasimpkins823
    @gloriasimpkins823 3 года назад +42

    Easy to get into but, Hell to get out of! So true 😂

  • @yolandam611
    @yolandam611 3 года назад +64

    Wow I'm 50 and this hits home. I'm trying to work on emotional intelligence. I come from a dysfunctional family and I don't want to continue that legacy

    • @claudettejackson9676
      @claudettejackson9676 3 года назад +1

      If a woman is rich, she needs a husband. Listen to yourself, money, women, age. What is the point that you are trying to do make? Many men were homeless, sleeping in their cars and all they need is a woman to stretch her hand and raised him up. Man, you are so stupid. Tell me what an older man can do for any woman. Where in the Bible have you seen, where it says it is not good for an older woman to have a young man? You are so stupid. Hannah, in the Bible, married to a young man who says that was wrong. You don't know Jack.

    • @claudettejackson9676
      @claudettejackson9676 3 года назад +1

      You are disrespectful to women.

  • @Kreeyolo827
    @Kreeyolo827 3 года назад +33

    "DO NOT WASTE TIME WITH CLEAR RED FLAGS!!"
    THAT'S A WORD BISHOP!!!🙏🏽👍🏼💪🏽

  • @doreenkarimi4572
    @doreenkarimi4572 3 года назад +20

    40yrs old me will be so proud of 29yrs old me now for taking this personal tough journey. Thanks Pastor for the knowledge

  • @melanatedbarbie
    @melanatedbarbie 3 года назад +28

    "This is not the season to struggle through with anybody. These are the years that a relationship should make life easier!" Got it Bishop Blake's thanks sir! 🖤🙌🏾

    • @Kpleaides
      @Kpleaides 10 месяцев назад

      So so true

  • @aidaflores5373
    @aidaflores5373 3 года назад +25

    Married for 41 years and he left 1.5 years ago. He still supports me 100%. He is 64 yo currently dating a women who told my daughter that her father was not happy. My daughter told her but you knew he is married and I can't won't accept nor condon both of your behavior. This woman is a professional home wrecker She wants him to get a divorce and he told her he can't do that because is a lifetime of memories. People tell me you 65 yo and I still could go and date other man. I am learning how to love myself. I spend my life taking care of others and neglected myself. I feel content loving me and making sure I look good when walking out of my house.

  • @carlar3039
    @carlar3039 3 года назад +64

    “You keep saying all I keep attracting is dogs but all you’re wearing is Alpo”😆☄️😂🤣. …”Your dress code should represent your moral code” Pastor Blakes

  • @robyntorres7117
    @robyntorres7117 2 года назад +12

    You are a Revelation! I'm a 66 year old grandmother, suddenly widowed at 56 (after 32 years together), and I certainly could have used your incredible wisdom and guidance at the time. Your 'just us folks' style and citing of personal trials and struggles is refreshing. Your narrative also validates that I'm on the right path, putting my faith in God and deepening the relationship with my church and parish. Thank you!

  • @ALICEPOOLE1
    @ALICEPOOLE1 3 года назад +69

    I’ll be 65 Gods will in December, Divorced , Dated many years , I’ve been single for 8years now , no dating , I’ve never been so content and at peace than I am now . A companion to travel with, go on dates IN GODS TIME , A GOD SENT , GODS WILL , This was a good word message lesson Pastor 🙌🏾🥰

    • @ga9100
      @ga9100 2 года назад

      I wish people would stop putting Elohim in their relationships he has nothing to do with ur relationships that's why he gives u free will and a mind to think for yourself

  • @naturallyfitbyj
    @naturallyfitbyj Год назад +6

    This was sooooo helpful. I’m 40 going on 41 but I’m focused on the Kingdom of God. However, the desire of marriage is still in my heart. So I’m allowing God to work on me internally and put in position like He did Ruth when it’s time. God bless you and thank you

  • @cindeed4422
    @cindeed4422 3 года назад +72

    Us women over 50 are also ilooking forward to this as well. Thank you. Can’t wait!

  • @dollface4352
    @dollface4352 2 года назад +4

    Content and ready after 5 years of healing trauma. Tonight is our 1st date. So far no flags… I’ll see how tonight goes we are both 48.

  • @winiver77
    @winiver77 3 года назад +14

    This is so good and funny... 'you hv no respect for money and I'm gonna give you access to mine? !!' So true!! Devil is liar!! 😂 😂 😂

  • @jillainenewman1358
    @jillainenewman1358 3 года назад +31

    I'm 49 and still looking for my Mr. Right. Thank you for your help!

    • @user-yk9sk7pg6v
      @user-yk9sk7pg6v 3 года назад +1

      Hi Jilllaine, since you are a few steps ahead of me on the path, care to share what you maybe learned/any advice for me? (34F) Thank you :)

    • @marshamitchell50
      @marshamitchell50 2 года назад +2

      Protect your peace

  • @diva7433
    @diva7433 3 года назад +20

    Thank you so much Bishop for this teaching. Women over 40 are not dead. We are alive and well. And yes some of us would like to be in a committed relationship that will lead to marriage. I am in my 60s. I became a widow at the age of 35. I was devastated. I did not date again till 21 years later. I raised my 2 children and continued on with my life thru God's strength. Just 2 years ago I was engaged to be married. Things didn't work out. I don't regret that experience because I learned some things about myself. So these 10 facts are so true. Be yourself and go to God for direction and make sure this man is ordained by God.

  • @bladerubber
    @bladerubber 3 года назад +40

    ALL of my previous mistakes are the same one . I didnt bail at the FIRST discovery that they are not good partner material. The outcome was the same. Each time you defer the pain of separating youre actually putting into the bank for even greater pain later.
    BAIL EARLY, BAIL the DAY of discovery. And DONT go back..

    • @yvonneb-t3d
      @yvonneb-t3d 3 года назад +3

      Wise words

    • @saymusiclover
      @saymusiclover 3 года назад +2

      🔥👏🏾🔥👏🏾 What you said!! You betta speak Lady! And say it louder for the ppl in the back!! I did the same as you my complete young adult life… but I know better NOW!

    • @user-kpkxgtj
      @user-kpkxgtj 3 года назад +4

      Yes yes 🙌 👏 Bail immediately. The pain only gets worse when you bail later.

    • @ButterCookie1984
      @ButterCookie1984 2 года назад +3

      That's a good word😎

    • @JamesJones-rx5mn
      @JamesJones-rx5mn 2 года назад +1

      I feel like within 2 months tops, you will know if you would want to be with that person forever or not, and I feel if you don't know or not sure there's the answer, after 2 months it becomes too long if there is no potential, that's kind of my rule of thumb now, I'm gonna bail but I'll make sure I gave all I needed to make it go, and I will have heard and read every sign, flag, and tested every hypothesis to make a final conclusion, but within 2 months lol! Fr

  • @motivatedwithlizzy6064
    @motivatedwithlizzy6064 2 года назад +13

    This message really makes me say to myself-stay single! 😂 I’m not in the build a mate season 🙅🏽‍♀️ Lord, continue to give me grace in my singleness 🙏

  • @cresha80
    @cresha80 3 года назад +48

    I’m 40 and have been divorced for two years now I’m not quite ready to start dating yet but I’ll take this information with me when I do began to date again 😊

    • @francesaquachapman7631
      @francesaquachapman7631 3 года назад +3

      I hope in time you will heal and experience the love you deserve✨✨

    • @cresha80
      @cresha80 3 года назад +1

      @@francesaquachapman7631 😊 thank u

    • @blackblack697
      @blackblack697 3 года назад +4

      @@francesaquachapman7631 I just don't believe it exists his list made me feel depressed and hopeless everyone wants perfection but we're unperfected people. If you want something you have to work for it everybody wants something already made but unfortunately that's not life. Sometimes you do have to work with a person if that's too much of a project for someone you say you love than you shouldn't be with that person. It's a shame people will give up on someone who genuinely loved them because they don't have good credit or in a certain financial bracket they think they should be in at a certain point in their life. We all didn't get the same start in life. I dated a Forensics Toxicologist who dumped me because of that and got engaged to a woman with a career he fixed her credit got her an apartment plus utilities in his name bought her a car an engagement ring & got cheated on had to go through the process of getting all his stuff back what a mess because love was never mentioned he wanted a career and a woman who matched his financial bracket and there one who was there when he had nothing which was me gave him 20yrs dropped me like a hot potato for that.

    • @Glamrocs
      @Glamrocs 3 года назад +3

      Just turned 40 but I’ve been single 6 years since my divorce. I’m ready but nervous.

    • @d.s.5514
      @d.s.5514 3 года назад +7

      @@blackblack697 , I hate you had that experience. Unfortunately more of us women than none has gone through that. We as women have hurt our very existence by not listening to the Aunties and Big Mamas when it came to men and dating, life period: stash money, prenups, giving your milk for free, abstaining from sex to allow yourself time to collect the necessary data, determining whether a man is worthy of your commitment. The things we accept from a man will not change. Good man or not, always protect yourself. If you don't love you, how can you expect someone else to?🧐. Hope this helps you.
      Best of Blessings to you!💝💜💝

  • @karenelizabethpalmer4295
    @karenelizabethpalmer4295 3 года назад +42

    Dear Pastor Blake's I'm in my early 50's I thank you for this Straight Up Message.

  • @princessgigiking
    @princessgigiking 3 года назад +10

    These are the years a relationship will make life easier! 🎯

  • @sharonbenjamin9310
    @sharonbenjamin9310 3 года назад +17

    I appreciate the wisdom that was shared in this teaching as a 50 year old lady who's is dating with the intent to become married.

  • @Iamsimplyfree
    @Iamsimplyfree 3 года назад +19

    Married and under 40 but this is good for us all, thank you, AMEN

  • @ed000
    @ed000 3 года назад +21

    "Contentment is the clue, that makes it clear, you're mature enough to choose"~~ RC Blakes Jr. My long awaited confirmation, confirmed!

  • @ALICEPOOLE1
    @ALICEPOOLE1 3 года назад +22

    🙌🏾🙌🏾🥰 Thank You Lord I’m content with myself, I’m at peace , I’m in a comfort place and state of mind , happy and relaxed 💃🏾💃🏾💃🏾

  • @ItsOkay2BeYou
    @ItsOkay2BeYou 3 года назад +77

    I’ve been divorced for 7 years. I met a female friend around the same time. We would go out to restaurants/outings like friends do. I was floored when she confessed her jealousy of me a few weeks ago. She broke down crying& told me how ugly she felt& didn’t have what I had. She even mentioned the fact that I have children& she doesn’t. Now I’m feeling like she may have blocked me from being able to meet someone. It’s dangerous having a friend like that. Since then she’s tried to convince me that we still can be friends but it’s just a weird vibe now that I’m aware. What’s even crazier is I’ve doubted myself in the past... feeling like I’m being blocked/stagnant but why. I’m not blaming her totally but my whole point is be careful when you’re in the healing process of who you allow in your heart. Date on your own terms.... go out on your own terms& don’t always think you have to be with a friend/family member. Embrace your single life after 40& let your time be just that... YOUR time. Have some privacy!!!

    • @annieschmitz9145
      @annieschmitz9145 3 года назад +7

      She's good that she told you now you can do fasting and pray with her for God's able and merciful

    • @ladyzinada5341
      @ladyzinada5341 3 года назад +4

      She'll kill you. Run.

    • @mmills1782
      @mmills1782 3 года назад +11

      Single women will keep you single.

    • @NaturesGift2Women
      @NaturesGift2Women 3 года назад +19

      Appreciate that she told you. Most people would never admit that and many women are battling the spirit of jealousy. The fact that she told you means she desires healing. She is human...flawed...just like you. Pray for and with her, encourage her and watch her blossom.

    • @jadesiress3382
      @jadesiress3382 2 года назад +14

      Great advice, I’ve been through something similar. I knew she was extremely insecure but it wasn’t until I realized that she tried to date a man I was dating behind my back that I realized she was dangerous and trying to compete with me. Looking back, she’s encouraged me to date men that were not great catches. I commend your friend for being honest but if she’s a hater, stay far away. You can’t trust her at all.

  • @akaims1738
    @akaims1738 3 года назад +15

    Am over 40,single with kids and today was the best lesson !
    If I could like this video twice, thrice, I would but I can’t
    All I can do is listen to it over n over again n share it!
    Thank you RC Blakes!

  • @ed000
    @ed000 3 года назад +11

    "Pay attention to a person's relational past history".

  • @lawanawilliams5164
    @lawanawilliams5164 3 года назад +40

    I know that it was God that led me to Bishop RC Blakes ministry almost a year ago after being married 15 to a Christian Narcissist, I am now legally divorced and I have learned so much from Bishop Blakes and First Lady Lisa Blakes. I am a 54 year old Godfearing Woman who love God with her whole heart and am more concerned about pleasing God than man. I desire to remarry and I have learned to apply Godly principles to my life after divorce, I am now happily dating a wonderful King, Queens don't be discouraged continue to love on you and God will send you your King when you are ready to receive him. Thank you Bishop Blakes for Kingology 7 signs of King " no more clowns in a crown for me, thank you Jesus! thank you Bishop RC and First Lady Lisa. I love you both and I thank God for your Ministry.

    • @JM-yf5rt
      @JM-yf5rt 3 года назад

      You look 30-something years old!

    • @lawanawilliams5164
      @lawanawilliams5164 3 года назад +3

      Thank you JM it’s only because of His grace 😊

    • @ga9100
      @ga9100 2 года назад +1

      Wow ur God fearing and 54 years old with a blue,white Grey wig on trying to be 20 and thinking u have time to find Mr.right and thinking u have some kind of leverage on men do respect madam u have lost it u date what u are and the men ur checking for aren't checking for u

    • @JamesJones-rx5mn
      @JamesJones-rx5mn 2 года назад +1

      @@ga9100 that's terrible to say and uncalled for, complete judgement, you may as well get ready for plenty more to call you out and judge you! It's disgusting of you, she gave a testimony and sounds happy, and you tried to tear her down.why?

    • @JamesJones-rx5mn
      @JamesJones-rx5mn 2 года назад +1

      @@lawanawilliams5164 good for you! You go girl! You give me hope that there is still someone for me! I'm blessed by your testimony, keep being you! You give me.strength to do the same! No matter what any hater may say!

  • @sandrabennett4300
    @sandrabennett4300 3 года назад +23

    When you feel lonely, your ear is still open to the whispers of your broken soul.. that is a KEEPER. Thank you. 🙏🏻

  • @piggy3745
    @piggy3745 3 года назад +23

    I’m over 40, widowed for years and children are grown. I’m very active, no health issues and the only meds I take are vitamins. I want companionship but not sure about marriage again. Not sure what to do. Never expected to be widowed this young.

    • @Es_Elle
      @Es_Elle 3 года назад +6

      As you wait, keep living, serving others, and enhancing your life and trust God that 'he who findeth a wife' will one day find you. Hang onto and declare scriptures such as: They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength... All things work together for good for those of us who wait... May God bless you with the desires of your heart!

    • @sandygrays4066
      @sandygrays4066 2 года назад

      Take your time invest in yourself..... And enjoy your privacy..... Amen amen amen

  • @Cellia836
    @Cellia836 11 месяцев назад +2

    Thank you for this video. I am 41 and the things I see right now in my age group is just plain sad. A lot of men my age still want to run around chasing tail, when in reality we are getting to old for that shit. It's like they have never learned anything at all. That one day we are going to wake up and actually want someone who wants to be there for us. I loved all of your points as always.

  • @lourraine
    @lourraine 3 года назад +12

    This ain’t a season to struggle through life! Yessss! It’s not a time for Projects 🔥🔥

  • @daharvey1
    @daharvey1 3 года назад +8

    I am 67 and I tune in to hear you speak to the young women. This is well spoken to the young!

  • @daniellebenning5706
    @daniellebenning5706 3 года назад +10

    Not allowing others to dictate your dating life! That was pure gold!! I have a father, that is always asking do I have a man yet! I am not ready to date right now! You spoke on trauma hurts after reaching my age, which is 48! This is spot on! I couldn’t define it, until this video! I just want to learn and grow and manifest my destiny! Not worry about a man in my life! I’ve always been content with being on my own! The lack of good and mature men out there, honestly I’m scared to death of dating right now! I don’t want anyone to disturb my peace, my focus and my self love! Thanks!

  • @TheKrystee
    @TheKrystee 3 года назад +8

    27 but here and ready to indulge! 💖

  • @Newgrist
    @Newgrist 3 года назад +6

    I am encouraged to see that there are many Christian singles who have never been married even though they older. I am a middle-aged single Christian man and often wonder why God has not let me cross paths with a godly woman despite praying for this at various times. God bless all who watch this video.

    • @isabellalora6533
      @isabellalora6533 2 года назад +1

      😞😞😭😥

    • @shaniharris2395
      @shaniharris2395 Год назад +2

      I'm responding a year later. But I think alot of us overlooked our person. The person sometimes was right under our nose

    • @owantabiko6431
      @owantabiko6431 Год назад

      Tis character search i guess

  • @leahmelissa111
    @leahmelissa111 3 года назад +11

    I'm 38, single, and watching this lol. Close enough.

  • @princessgigiking
    @princessgigiking 3 года назад +17

    Don't Date If You Aren't Healed. 💎💎💎

  • @MzCrystal-7
    @MzCrystal-7 3 года назад +6

    I'm over 40 I definitely needed to hear this

  • @athomewithgoldnbronze6830
    @athomewithgoldnbronze6830 3 года назад +12

    Thank you Bishop for sharing your knowledge. I spent years healing and didn’t start dating until I was healed. I met, dated and fell in love, got engaged (too soon) to a man who is broken himself and I don’t think he realizes it. He sees fault in me in everything we disagree on, and never owns any of the fault. We broke up and I don’t feel like I ever want to go through this again. The hurt outweighs everything. Now I have to heal all over again. I’m undecided if I want another relationship.

  • @EnjoylifeinJesus
    @EnjoylifeinJesus 3 года назад +8

    I'm turning 50 on August 19th. I'm equipped with more wisdom! Blessings to you Bishop B!

  • @susan8576
    @susan8576 2 года назад +2

    Recently someone was advicing me to settle In my choice of a mate, so I could get married soon. I had to run back here to hear from daddy R.C. Blakes. Thank you for this content daddy.

  • @whichypoohs
    @whichypoohs 3 года назад +19

    I truly believe that Mr Blake’s advice could save lives. God bless and thank YOU.

  • @M.K.B.1133
    @M.K.B.1133 3 года назад +40

    Day one of joining the RC Blake’s family. Couldn’t ask for a better topic. Thank you for letting me be a part of your family.

    • @ladyzinada5341
      @ladyzinada5341 3 года назад +3

      WELCOME TO THE FAMILY HUNTY.🤗

    • @tyoung3509
      @tyoung3509 3 года назад +5

      You are in for many treats! You have an entire library of information here lol 📚📚📚that is a must watch/read.

    • @larsandradouglas3119
      @larsandradouglas3119 3 года назад +3

      Welcome Queen

    • @annjeffrey1522
      @annjeffrey1522 3 года назад +2

      Wellcom,. There is good food here.

    • @korissaguyton6895
      @korissaguyton6895 3 года назад +1

      Welcome!

  • @faith6575
    @faith6575 3 года назад +21

    Healing from trauma is key ladies. Please listen to Mr. Blakes on this one. Trust me when I say this. Seeking therapy and ways to heal is a huge badge of honor. This alone can and will change your whole outlook and perspective on life for yourself and others. Please do this. There is no man or relationship out there more important than your own healing and self worth. None.

    • @JamesJones-rx5mn
      @JamesJones-rx5mn 2 года назад

      Great point thanks for sharing, I'm a 40 year old man and I've actually been considering counseling myself, men need that same healing, sometimes it may not be from a past relationship but many things men have carried to this point in there life that effects his relational outcomes, and most times men are unaware that they have deep rooted issues, so thanks for saying, we all need to get healed and seek help to identify our issues and heal properly from them to be whole and ready for someone else to enter our lives!

    • @jahcure2011
      @jahcure2011 2 года назад

      Indeed... I had to learn this; I felt so much better healing and realized I wasn’t ready to be a wife. I thank God for saving me from ruining myself more.🥰

  • @Kenyetta_
    @Kenyetta_ 7 месяцев назад +1

    "Contentment is the clue or the evidence that you are clear, healthy, mature enough to choose". -Pastor RC Blakes. Amen and Ase! 🙏🏽❤️✨️

  • @LatashaCM
    @LatashaCM 3 года назад +8

    Easy to get into but HELL TO GET OUT OF!! I FELT THAT DEEP DOWN IN MY SOUL😥

  • @gracem6064
    @gracem6064 3 года назад +9

    Thank you so very much pastor Blake’s ! It seems like people have forgotten about us because we are older . I got married again at 64 years old it was a terrible mistake because I didn’t know some of the things you are teaching now . My first marriage was 32 years so I had no idea about the dating scene, I didn’t even know how to look for red flags 🚩 😨 l had to divorce him after 6 years. No I am 75 & would like to have a companion. I don’t look 75 & relatively healthy but I am afraid now because I am 75 & many older Men our age are still grown boys. As you are saying I can’t afford to make a mistake now ! I just want to thank you for knowing there are older people are out here also trying to date & marry as well. God Bless you for your wisdom for all people the young & old we all need love ❤️

    • @bladerubber
      @bladerubber 3 года назад

      I would disagree respectfully with the pastor on that point..whilst we are Alive we all make mistakes...no matter our age and NO mistake is unrecoverable from at ANY age. The important point to me is your mistakes should Not be same as previous ones...I.e. we must always be learning...and also hopefully we are mature enough to learn from others mistakes too..

    • @gracem6064
      @gracem6064 3 года назад

      @@bladerubber l understand what you are saying but I believe pastor is referring to making the same mistakes that we made when we were younger! There has to be some lessons learned & don’t repeat them again 🙁 older people don’t have the time to deal with tomfoolery we should know it when we see it now . When you see the red flags 🚩 run as fast as you can! There’s no time to build a mate !! Even the younger people should run but if they are foolish enough to stay; they still have some time to recover! But when you are older don’t waste your time ! I wasted 6 years on a cheating husband 🥵 that’s not too long for a 30 year old but for me that was way too long! Please understand what pastor is saying! No more mistakes with a man now ❤️‍🩹 run 🏃‍♀️

  • @zweclark3231
    @zweclark3231 3 года назад +14

    Thank you Bishop, what you said is straight from the alter of God, let those with ears hear! I have told my children about you, l have bought my 15 year old daughter your Father daughter talk book, l don’t want her to make my mistakes or go through what l have gone through in life. The cycle got to stop! I also have Queenology for myself!

  • @Dm-sd7kr
    @Dm-sd7kr 2 года назад +1

    Trauma that is swept under the rug… has not left your house 👍🏻💪🏻

  • @princessgigiking
    @princessgigiking 3 года назад +33

    8. Be sure to document all past mistakes so you will not repeat them 💭🤔

    • @blackblack697
      @blackblack697 3 года назад

      That's going to be a long list if you're over 40 😂😂😂😂 40+ yrs of mistakes it's gonna be a long night for most

  • @shegotstandards
    @shegotstandards 3 года назад +16

    These over 40 gems of wisdom for dating are exquisite! " Go to the mall and build you a bear, this not the season to build a mate.... "- Pastor Blake's🤔🤗👏👌

  • @keesha607
    @keesha607 3 года назад +10

    Oweee this is a message! #no students… no projects!

  • @jenniferb327
    @jenniferb327 3 года назад +13

    I WAS JUST SAYING,RIGHT BEFORE YOU SAID IT.
    THAT THIS CAN APPLY TO ALL AGES.

  • @empressunicorn5617
    @empressunicorn5617 2 года назад +2

    This man is brilliant. You know he has tread many paths and walked away with tons of wisdom.

  • @mercedasummers836
    @mercedasummers836 3 года назад +7

    I also, learned that dating should be the phase for collecting data. You can learn a lot about a person by being intentional, patient, and listening. Then, while It's okay to have fun dating It's more important to learn about a potential partner by asking the right questions.
    I like and agree with this message because for me it provides guidelines on how to date... the do's and don'ts for behaviors while dating. Points 3, 5, and 6 specifically resonate for me. For one, I'm in a financially stable place in my life. I've worked really hard and learned some discipline at this stage in my life. So, I refuse to be intertwined in anyones financial instability web. Then, based on experience I know that there's no season for building any man. I'm already mom to my child and it is not my place to take on this role. I don't want anything to do with projects. The man for me will already be equipped because in Pastors interpretation of the word, God brought Eve to Adam as a whole man and she was his (Adam's) helper not his builder. Also, for me we need more than chemistry, so being able to connect on a deeper level is essential. Mental stimulation is very important to me. Aside, from discussing surface things let's talk and communicate about heart matters and reflect on life happenings. Also, being able to pray, read our bibles, and discuss the word together is necessary. I believe this connection will allow me and my partner to keep the relationship fresh and stimulate growth.
    To sum it up for me, these points remind me to be accountable and intentional before the relationship.
    Scripture says, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers..." according to 2 Cor 6:14. 🙏🏽
    Thank you for this message Pastor.

    • @JM-yf5rt
      @JM-yf5rt 3 года назад

      Good points.

  • @JamesJones-rx5mn
    @JamesJones-rx5mn 2 года назад +3

    Thank you so much for this teaching, I'm 40 this year and have been feeling alot of the things he was saying, incontent,, miserable with my own life and unhappy, and feeling somewhat lost and incomplete, but after hearing that I am putting my life together and like you said focusing on making me great so that when I am ready for a good wife I will be all that she needs, this is not the time for me to focus on dating but building me! Thank God for this teaching it has literally saved my life.

  • @quaieshabecoats4623
    @quaieshabecoats4623 2 года назад +2

    You haven't learn something until you actually apply it 💙💙💙

  • @saracowherd3539
    @saracowherd3539 2 года назад +1

    34 minutes, what you said would have made the perfect RUclips short or TikTok. “He needs to have a JOOBBB” 🤣🤣🤣

  • @leoniechristine2347
    @leoniechristine2347 2 года назад +4

    This was an amazing talk something I needed 20 yrs ago in my 20s and even more now in my 40s.

  • @kw7187
    @kw7187 3 года назад +4

    I heard the school bell ring and I ran to sit s in the front seat. Thanks Pastor for helping us to see a bigger picture. Your videos have given me so much clarity.

  • @regina3796
    @regina3796 3 года назад +34

    Run ladies if a man tells you he loves to spend money but can’t hold a job and need assistance with paying his rent🤔. And he pushing 50 smh.

  • @eagles-soar
    @eagles-soar 3 года назад +18

    When we COME two or three , together God is in the midst, speak father, pastor!! We're listening 🎧

  • @melaniebarnes4374
    @melaniebarnes4374 3 года назад +21

    I don't need a shopping spree. What I do need is a man that contributes to my regular upkeep, because he directly will benefit from my spending on myself.

  • @zeewash7153
    @zeewash7153 3 года назад +6

    You forgot your wallet? Ok I'll be right back. Out the door I go.

  • @dawannwilliams6301
    @dawannwilliams6301 3 года назад +2

    At 52 years of age l approve this message. Especially the part about friends and family wanting you to find a man again before you turn to dust 🤣😂. I am happy and at PEACE. God has provided all of my needs and l am at a good place in all aspects of my life and my children are grown and self sufficient. I would love ❤️ companionship again but it cannot cost me my PEACE OF MIND.

  • @Virtuousbeauty71
    @Virtuousbeauty71 2 года назад +2

    I wish the United States would allow this sermon to be plaid across all air waves 7 days a week 24 hours a day! Preach! 💗

  • @pastoralexiaburgesshuart2020
    @pastoralexiaburgesshuart2020 3 года назад +8

    Praise God for this Wisdom and thank you for the time you and Lady Lisa have prayed and sacrificed to share these timeless principles. As a fellow pastor and divorcé, all that you have taught are priceless truths. May they be sincerely received for greater relationship blessings in these later seasons of life!

  • @laurenmcbride1913
    @laurenmcbride1913 3 года назад +22

    Leave your wallet at hm. You are a PAYER. You aren't a Player. 😂😂😂 Love it

    • @mameh4243
      @mameh4243 3 года назад

      Drop de "L"! 😂😂

    • @rubyavery6743
      @rubyavery6743 3 года назад

      I AM Not IN THE BUILD OF MATE BUSINESS!! GO TO MALL, build a bear, LOL, love this!!

  • @BuildingHealthyRelationships
    @BuildingHealthyRelationships 3 года назад +4

    Healing is very important in dating. Taking past hurts into a new relationship is a recipe for disaster.

  • @yaya6053
    @yaya6053 3 года назад +6

    This is like a big brother cracking the dozens as he educate me in God’s word. I love it. Keep it coming. 😂 I’m clapping, laughing, deep thinking, Amens all around the room. Bring it, Pastor/brother. Two black eyes and a busted lip later. I heard ya. 😆