I got married recently to someone who I wouldn’t even have thought I would marry. Once I gave up looking for a certain type I just allowed God to bring him in my path and the prayer I prayed helped as well. Ladies it’s possible.
I'm Happily single .. I Live a Great Life ... If The Lord sends me my King , that would be Great!!! ...if I remain Single for the rest of my life ... I won't lose any sleep over it. I'm still going to be happy, Serve and Honor The Lord!!! ...Travel the world and still Live a Great Life!!
Exactly I get offended now to think they can talk me out my clothes,I heard every line and they all are old ones, the older guys are the worst they wanna feel like they pimpin.
Absolutely! Many men that have walked away, years later when we receive word of their well doing or not, we thank god for the blessing and protection of getting that burden off of us.
i think another reason why we fail to recognize husbands is because our fathers also weren’t good husbands either…. we get confused on what to look for and what marriage is supposed to be like. i’m blessed to be learning now
Exactly. One who had a good father, who was a good husband to his wife, has an example of what a husband is. We who have had an abusive or neglective father (or both) just fall in love with anybody who would give a ittle bit of extra but then feel somehow ok with the abuse and /or neglect. Realizing the abuse you've been through is a very important step into a new life.
SHE’S A GREAT LADY, WHY DON’T THEY MARRY HER? 1. THE WOMAN NEVER MADE MARRIAGE A REQUIREMENT 2. THE WOMAN DELIVERS BENEFITS WITHOUT COMMITMENT 3. THE WOMAN’S DESPERATION FOR A MAN REPELS WOULD BE HUSBANDS 4. THE WOMAN IS ATTRACTED TO FEMININE MEN WHO DON’T COMMIT- Her type is her worse enemy. 5. THE WOMAN MAY NOT ALLOW SPACE FOR A MASCULINE MAN TO PLAY A ROLE IN HER LIFE- A husband type needs a woman who lets him function in the masculine role.
Great talk. I enjoyed it. "Giving time to someone who doesn't deserve it -- the truth. Hopefully, you can do a session on Kevin Samuels' messaging to the community.
Many women today are extreme feminists. The attitude (spirit) that’s being served in society (media, social media, professional circles, etc) is “I don’t need a man!” And...many women are presenting MASCULINE ENERGY instead of feminine. Great word Pastor Blakes! Continue depositing wisdom jewels in our soul-bank. #HighValueWoman
@@AmahreTheRose exactly sister..it comes from men like RC here telling women to set standards so high that no man can reach. All of sudden you have a women who thinks she is too good for men
@@alldaysteviej3134 WRONG!! Your response sounds like the "entitled" minded dudes he mentions in this video. Which you obviously didn't watch or purposely ignored the several times when he stated women should fall into their feminine roles. There's no such thing as the standard being too high as it relates to this teaching. The standard can be looked at like a luxury car lets say a Bentley. Most would say the price tag is "too high" but the reality is those folk just can't afford it. The standard may just be out of your current reach.
So many of us women go into relationships with our hearts out and our eyes closed. We are so intent on showing what a great catch we are that we are not using our discernment to figure out if the man is worth our time.
@@justthoughts8872 I grew up being conditioned by my mom that this is what men are interested in----its basically a "What can I do for you ?" mentality
I been married 2 years to the man of my dreams but I had to take a deep look within & realize his high value is his integrity & character MORE than money....he treat me like a queen & while dating him I knew that marriage was my goal, he agreed & we both didn't waste each other's time....we planned our wedding
Kevin is the man, he has over 1 million subscribers and he is NOT the enemy. If you want to point fingers at a man right now, look up Minister Jap and FitXFearless...they have a special "Kind" of strong dislike for women. FYI
@@earthreign I hear you sis but he has mysoganistic tendencies and elements of disrespect about him. He needs to do better. He helps women but bashes them too and devalues them at times. Saying all this listening from south Africa.
@@Somegirl3602 I have to blame the women. Why do you come on his show to embarrass one self. They say things like " I have degrees and the man I was dating is not on my level". And these women are baby mommas. Guess what men are allowed to choose who they like also.
Women need to start acting the part. A man does not care about your qualifications. Choose better stop having children and stop being committed to man without being his wife. HAVE STANDARDS!!!!!
I will always be married! I got married at 18 and I'm 62 now! Never played games with men my father taught me that as a young girl! If anything happens to my husband I believe God will send another one to love and protect me!
People look at me quizzically, asking WHY HAVE YOU NEVER MARRIED? I reply, I’ve never been divorced either. 😉 It’s funny seeing a divorced person’s reaction, light bulb moment 💡 😅
This! I used to say I don’t want to be married by 30 and divorced by 40. I’m 34 years old now and I’m thankful that I am single and childless. Dating divorced men is a turn off. These people are coming with the baggage from a previous marriage, kids, alimony payments, child support payments etc. no thanks 😑
I know a man like that. He takes damn good care of his family. Whatever his woman wants he's right there for it. He makes it his duty to make sure his family is happy
KEY POINTS: 1. Never made marriage a requirement. 2. You deliver the product without price. 3. Men sense your disconnection with your own worth/value. 4. The woman is attracting men who are not mature enough to commit. 5. You may not allow space for the man to function in the masculine.
"You just ain't had no daddy to tell you how that goes down." People are only starting to realize that both boys AND girls need their daddy ever-present in their life.
So guilty of being with someone who never wanted to be married. Wasn’t him it was me for accepting less than what I deserved. I didn’t know my worth. Now…..Queen conscious now.
Omggg Same here! 10 years & still nothing, empty promises..hanging on to deferred hope 😔giving away all of my 20s. But I'm conscious now!! By the grace of god!
I’m with you there is Inter. Took me 35years to find this truth! Had to get rid of that Jezebel spirit he passed on to me. Pastor RC helped me realize this by listening to him on RUclips. Thank you Lord for pastor RC speaking so honestly. Wish I would have found him many years ago. Gave the creep the best years of my life. Alcohol was an issue. But God is never late. FREE AT LAST!
This i don't agree with. We tend to submit to men who seem worth submitting to. And those men who are deceivers, and make themselves seem that way, then don't commit.
I’ve never understood why many women find it difficult to get married. Don’t compromise. Make it clear from day one that you want to marry, don’t be afraid. Always be wife material, don’t be common or cheap.
It’s been looked at as difficult simply because many women feel the need to win over a man by jumping through hoops to get him. That’s what is really difficult.
I don't think it is difficult to get married. Most men are not marriage material that is the real issue. The majority of women I see are married to very mediocre men so that tells me that pickings are slim.
It is both because as women we gotta hold a standard. Some Men don’t value Marriage because they are getting too much cookies. Bishop Blake is saying that women should stop giving your body to these clowns that I call themselves a man. Date a Real Mature man that is willing to Marry You not playing games.
Some Narcissists have learnt to say exactly those words "I am not looking for a girlfriend, I am looking for a wife." While he has a whole old wife hidden back at home in Houston and a baby mama in Rural Kenya waiting on his promise to marry her. I would say even when a man says those words, it is better for a woman to take her time to further discern exactly what kind of man he is ...and yes, intuition will always perk up when something about the man is amiss.
Just got delivered from a so called man of God who’ said this same thing, found out he was on multiple dating sites and showing woman his penis!! He’s 41!!! God removed me with facts and showed me everything, I was delivered! God protects me!
Lol! @brenda yes. In Kenya lol. But I've learnt to close my ears and open my eyes. Narcissists are word professionals but poor in matching with action.
You can take this two ways but my spin on it is relational to my situation. I'm always getting asked Why don't you have a boyfriend why aren't you married? I have many suitors but they're afraid of me and those that dare come forward once they get to know me they run away. That's ok bc I'm not pursuing any man and if God takes someone out of your life it's to protect you from that person. Second spin, I believe these men want an easy prey someone they can have fun with and no commitments. They don't want to fall in love and want someone easy not a relationship they have to work hard at. These men have wounds and create dysfunctional relationships. They do not marry these women and if they do it's bc its familiar then they cheat on them.
When you have had a real awesome and loving husband for over 20 years and now as a widow are beginning dating at 50, this reality seems further away, so many hurt, broken and toxic men out here…. You can tell a lot of them have never been made aware of real manhood. IJS
Yep I see it a lot too. Cause I know I am not messing up out here . So I’m like what’s the issue and they love hanging out with people with drama and if you are not about drama they back away from you as if being a good person is a problem
Pastor, you are telling the truth. I came into this realization 6 mos ago, and when I was done with the foolishness, I met my King 5 mos ago. He’s planning to propose next weekend. ❤❤❤
Wow! I literally tell people who ask me “Do you date? Are you dating?” My response is always shocking… I date to marry… not to get a meal, have sex, hang out or just to date… I date with the intention of marriage and if I’m not interested in getting married then… why would I date…. ? It always takes them a minute to be like that makes sense. SMH preach Sir. Preach.
@Tiffany... I to date with a purpose. It amazes me so many "Christian Men" want you to compromise your morals & values to be with them. I have a talk show and have literally heard men say, If I can't test drive, I ain't buying. I have been teased, ridiculed because I stick to my standards. At this point, I asked God to get some dust and fashion me a husband. LOL!!!!
Their not marrying her because she lowered her standards out of fear of being alone and dying alone basically...not truly knowing ur worth is a very bad thing... nothing wrong with being boujee and down to earth at the same time.... personal growth and maturity takes time sometimes in life
He may say marriage is the goal if he really wants the woman. Then she has to ask within what time frame. And, then watch if he is consistent and really trying to find out if they're compatible by asking questions about the future. Alot of women waste time just because a man said he wants to be married, but he doesn't want to be married to the woman he's currently with. He can say what a woman wants to hear but if his actions aren't lining up that's the real answer.
Yasss! I actually just went through that went on a date n the guy kept saying his goal was to get married. However; he will then switch up n say let’s see how it goes with no titles😒 I kindly smiled n once he dropped me off I just ghosted him🤷🏽♀️ No need to entertain silly stuff. He kept texting asking what’s wrong. No answer let him go look for that wife tuh
I Came of age through the" hook up "culture. When having a friend with benefits is celebrated & encouraged . , I honestly didn't know how to ask that question, the marriage question to a man. That was a terrifying question for me to ask!. Omg I thought that would run them away. I was conditioned to think, that if I continued giving him all the best of me ,that eventually it would happen. I hoped and waited out of ignorance. I submitted to nothing.I honestly didn't know better than that for so long .I had no one giving me this wisdom you are giving me now at 38 and ,3 children later . I'm hurt and disappointed but I realize I am the cause of my own heartbreak and I accept that I am enough . I'm here today listening to learn more about myself and to heal and not repeat this toxic pattern ever again.
Ooh I had one of those... except it was his sister's product. He shared a bathroom with her in a flat which was owned by their parents... And then I wondered why he expected ME to pay at the movies.
This really opened my eyes today! I was raised by my father and brothers as an independent strong woman, but it left me lacking because I didn't know how to stand in my femininity and let my man provide for me. I feel like I always need to be helping or fixing the house like my father taught us, but that's not what a man wants or needs from me as their woman. Thank you for bringing this beautiful message to us all. God bless you!
@@BL3SSed-Bliss I think she mean some women Cook every night, wash his clothes, play step mom, live with a man have babies etc n make believe they’re married instead of actually requiring the man to marry her. So some men rather that n feel she more easy going n he can keep his money to pay for his car n take other females out lol
@@Lele-oe2xf I appreciate that, Sis; it was terribly confusing. Basically, she is simply parroting to underscore one of the points that is said/made in this video; which is don’t play a role that you are not “paid” for. Don’t assume responsibilities that are not within your title. Essentially, the eons-old adage about 🐄 and free🥛. Others believe that you must _show/prove_ your wife-ability in order to be “chosen”\pre-approved. I needed to be certain that it was _not that_ point that she was making, given the wording/sentence structure. Bless 💚
“The bed is the fastest way away from the altar” This is a great Message and my second time viewing it! I will continue to wait on God and enjoy embracing my singleness! I love me!
I don't agree! I had relations with my husband before marriage! Many marriages end in divorce even so called Christians not to mention pastors cheating on their wives!
That was my first thought not making marriage a requirement women back in the day women required marriage before anything the women of today seem to have lost that value I'm guilty myself
I was in love with someone who God had not chose for me so when i left him i prayed, i fell at the altar, i had a deep conversation with Jesus and 5 months later God gave me the honest desire of my heart. We have been married for going on 20 years. Patience,Gid did a good thing.
My parents had a matched marriage. My mother was miserable & felt trapped. My father worked hard & provided but didn't love her. I watched this growing up and naturally never developed a desire for marriage. I learned from a bad example. I believe this is what led me to give my value to a man without price because if I had desired marriage, I wouldn't have.
same here, my father is a narcissist and since I always felt afraid of commitment I 'd rather be free to come and go. It took me 30 years to realize that I was trapped and now 10 more years to find the strength to not care so much about what my family wants.
Yes, you see how cruel a man can really be. I'm in no rush to be married anymore. I need a good relationship with someone who wants to be in a good relationship first. Let alone marriage
I was so used to jumping into a relationship sex first that when I got with someone who was potentially husband material I forced myself on him sexually when he really didn't want to go there. The relationship went to hell in a hand basket to say the least all because of sex and what I thought men wanted.
I wanted kids soooo bad. I did make marriage the priority and it was always my first question to any potential husbands “I want kids and marriage…how do you feel about those things. BAM 💥 Married a year later.
Pastor, not only to your first point that most women do not state their position right away, oftentimes that is due to women believing that they should wait on the man to pursue and lead in that area. What's unfortunate about that in many ways is that while women wait for the man to take the lead, women fall prey to giving up her standards in silent hope that he will step up. Actually this is your second point! With 18 days remaining to my wedding 💒 day, I am STILL at the point where if, for WHATEVER reason, that day does not happen, I am firm in my mind that God has indeed promised His very best. Women need to raise their standards and stick to them and TOTALLY trust God in the procrss. It will be well worth it in the long run 🏃♂️!!
My thought for years is women need to raise their standard, require more from men, and both genders need to exercise the fruit of self control. It's great to hear the staunch biblical opinion of a Godly man! Ty for this segment!!! CGH
I used to have standards but the world made me feel some way. Forced my self there. Finally getting the strength to be who I am while I'm still young. Thank you Sir for the wise words.
I agree pastor but some men if we say no to sex because they usually are not emotional will pass up the quality women. For the women giving it away for free. So what it boils down to they have to desire the Elusive and Exclusive Lady enough, to chase her and committ and marry her. That's the only solution meantime we have to be lonely for masculine company because we keep saying no in order to get him to say Yes Its a sad game. But im not being used im trying to meet an old fashioned gentleman. THANKS GREAT ADVICE
You are telling the TRUTH! Some women have truly made it hard for the ladies with standards. I’ve been told by men that I’m tooooo much work! LOL #IHAVESTANDARDSPERIOD
This helped me because that's exactly how I was just went with the flow. Didn't realize I was doing that until my last relationship. He always spoke about marriage and finally he said he never talk about marriage and I told him I would love to get married but I'm not desperate but I have a 2yr window of engagement then marriage. He made it seem like he wanted what I wanted. Then we reached beyond my 2yr mark and he said I don't think that's what God wants me to do right now. So I chose me that was 3yrs ago. I am content. I'm ready for my set man
Oh my God...crying all the way through this...57 years old...learned this only two years ago. It's still gut wrenching to hear though. I now date hypergamously. Thank you.
This is very helpful. A lot of times we woman are trying to prove that we are not a "gold digger" or user. Another thing is that being single all of my life, I had no choice but to be the "independent " woman, because if you don't work, you don't eat, you don't have. It's not that we didn't want a man, we just didn't have that relationship or man that provided for us, so we had to do it ourselves. We want our men, our husband, our boaz but hear other women say if you don't do this or that, someone else will. So many women walk around with they breast out, butt practically exposed and we are made to feel forced to conform, to give up our morals and even our "cookies", so a man can see us or even desire us. We are made to feel that just being ourselves is not good enough so we need to conform.
It’s about realising women are being hoodwinked and doing all that will not make you more attractive to any man; if you have to do all that you are trying to bag the wrong men.
Indeed, and they think it’s strange when you tell them no, I’m preparing to be someone’s wife.. oh they don’t like that, and your right- it weaves out those unworthy and keeps me protected from those with hidden intentions.. thank you god!
I believe God will bless me with a husband who is everything I wanted, needed, plus more than I could even imagine. I will never lower my standards just to have a man. I know I am the prize. I will never chase a man. I'm the catch. If one man doesn't believe it the next man will. Know your worth. Never settle for a man.
Sorry you can’t be friends with a man you are Attracted to or he is attracted to you. There is an alternative motive there and makes it comfortable. I rather move on I can’t be friends with any ex.
@@LeasTimelyServices ya you will go in the same cycle hook up and not move on. If a man is for you he will propose and commit not just use you for sex! I have enough respect to have no interest in being friends with any ex sorry.
All true! My daughters get upset with me only because I value them more than they do themselves. I pray that they will very soon raise their standards so that they will attract husbands who will recognize & value their true worth, as God designed them. No real man would let a woman of that caliber get away.
We used to know this stuff. What has happened? Looking back, all my Aunts, Uncles, cousins, and older sisters and brothers were married. My mom and dad started married till death. My church family.Most of the adults were married. I can remember two men standing up in church asking for prayer to find a wife. Don’t see that anymore . I’m 45 not 100. We have forgotten who we are. I wonder how this happened?
I was with someone years ago. that didn't want to be married. I didn't know my value or worth..I honor myself, love myself completely.. Now feeling I am queen.
This is going to be GOOD! What about if she has those boundaries and standards and have not encounter a man that does. Where are they? I USED to attract the opposite and they didn't want to have nothing to do with boundaries and standards. They claimed to be saved Christian men. These days, I'm so focus on me and my purpose and getting myself together, I don't meet nobody. Unless it's online....Whew...didn't type of breed of men. Let's talk about Pastor Blakes! 😃
God has your address and is the worlds best Matchmaker! Remember, He brought Eve to Adam and Adam recognized HIS Eve. Also God didn’t tell Adam he needed a helpmate, he let Adam recognize his need. Trust that if your hearts right before God and you are showing your love towards God by obeying Him, then He will introduce you to your own hand-crafted “Adam.” ☺️
I am basically in the same place that you are, except with one caveat... as you lean into all the new skills and activities and possibilities of getting yourself together, you have to consciously seek to not do these things ALONE, even though you CAN. Join groups online and, as the world SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY opens up, in person where there are people interested in what you are interested in. Let your gifts and your purpose make room for you in new circles of people of like mind and like spirit. Right now I am baby-stepping this because of Covid, but the quality of men and women I spend my time with is both expanding and greatly improving. It's like those 7:00 and 8:00 classes in college... nothing like studying around people that come to learn the material and are on their purpose to start the day. The effort to be on time and awake and ready PRE-QUALIFIED everybody in the room for good learning and experiences. So: you are getting yourself pre-qualified to be in spaces many people will not. You just have to choose to not go alone. Will you be found by a man tomorrow? I don't know. Will your chances of being found by a better man in a better circle increase if you join better circles? Most likely, and in the meantime, your life will expand and open up in other ways.
I think this is one of your best teachings pastor, women need to hear this because this is REAL TALK!!!! Women are not valuing themselves enough and giving away too many benefits. We as women need to understand our value and worth and more importantly we need to love and appreciate what God has given us and know that we are the true gift to a man. Again GREAT TEACHING!!! ❤️
Back in 2009, an evangelist was praying for me and he said that God said I do not have a father. I am very blessed by your ministry as it teaches me many things that I have missed. Thank you!
A lot of women were and are waiting for their man to asked. Most women assume that's the next step in building a life. I never thought men were not thinking that way.
You are so right! I wish someone had spoken to me like this when I was 15. it could have been my father, my uncles, or anyone close to me. Not even my mother nor my only two aunts spoke to me about this and in this way when I really needed it. Not one iperson n my family addressed the issue and sadly they all loved God. God bless you R.C., for giving your time and energy to tell the real truth no matter what!
I'm amazed to at how no one spoke up about anything money relationships I mean nothing Lord bless our forefathers I'm done cause I just lay in my bed and be like wow it's like a dumb muted spirit took over there tongue
I asked a guy who was my bed buddy why he didn't make me his woman...he said because I didn't MAKE him. All Pastor is saying is soo very true for me. Thank you for this video as I will use this as a constant reference.
Single AND celibate for 30 years...Contentment is a CHOICE.... "Therefore whatever state I'm in, I learn to be content." is what the Apostle Paul states. IT IS NOT A CAKEWALK...but with God's strength 💪 and prayer 🙏it can be done. In the interim...I am learning to LOVE GOD, serve Him, and LOVE ME. Thank you Dr. Blakes.
Sis, his decisions are not your fault. You were with a man who was not commitment-minded, and maybe you didn't vet him specifically for that, but... That doesn't make his decision to never accept the responsibility for your heart, YOUR fault. He is the one who should be held accountable for his own decisions, and his answer just shows he is only too willing to put responsibility for his choices on a woman. That was not a full blown mature man.
@@e.l.lucychiron I hear you but it is partially her fault. He didn’t make her his woman because she didn’t demand it. She was bed buddies with a man and didn’t set a standard for herself. We need to stop saying to each other it’s not your fault. We take blame off of us and put it on a man but we get to choose who we give our body too. If a woman give her body to a man that won’t commit to her , that’s her fault. A man can’t take what you don’t give. The good news is that she learned from that and can now make better choices. I think that’s what we’re all trying to do, make better relationship choices.
There is a lot of value in this message by Pastor Blakes. Some of us, black women, have been brainwashed into thinking we should compete like a man does with masculine energy. However, feminine energy is also very powerful. It is inate wisdom we need to get back in touch with. 🥰
One of my girlfriends and I were talking the other day. After being married twice, I've decided, I'm better off on my own. I'm at a season in my life that I have wonderful friendships, and sex is not important to me, so I'm good. Marriage and men are a lot of work!
Work…..that what I’m fed up with. I see marriage now is a contract to a maid,(cleaning,laundress,cook,accountant,house manager,therapist,ie listening, discussions, comfort, and can have sex with you…..even though you’re tired. So commitment has a whole new meaning for me. I admit…. I’m lazy and to tired for any relationship. I’m good. I’m happy. God know it. (Save and happy)😀🙏🏾😘.
@@robinnewton1061 Yes it is. I make a very good living as a realtor, and I don't wanna marry someone who can't take care of me, better than I can take care of me. I'm enjoying my life by myself right now.
@@earthreign but we end up alone anyway….women normally out live their husband. , not to mention how many marriages where one feel alone, living the same house. Nothing wrong being single. God did not command this…thou shalt be married.. Of course,there is some commandments that are being ignored. Just my opinion. Not forcing it on nobody. Marriage is a beautiful thing. But if you’ll be honest with yourself (me)….. it’s work, and I’m tired. Can’t give anymore. But everyone be blessed if that’s what you want. I respect that….in turn respect mine.
"Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us." ~ Ellen Hopkins. 🙃 Thank you for flipping this sad situation right side up Bishop Blakes and Lady Lisa. God bless. 🙏💪💝⚖️💝
@@amerokeewiya1320 There's more to it than simply matching energies. You'd need to remain sovereign in your own right, having an internal of control and be discerning about how you respond to the various energies you're confronted with. Martin Luther King, Jr.: “Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Sometimes it means using a gentle, calming word, touch, distraction or humour to defuse impending violence. You can't solve a problem by the same means it was created. You need to see things from all the various perspectives and choose the best means even if it's the opposite. If you kept going lower vibration every time you were confronted with low vibing ppl you'd play into and enmesh with lower vibes. If you stay steady in high vibration energies, seeing thing from your higher mind you'd better appreciate that matching another's low energy is a reactive and combative approach that pulls you off your centre and roller-coasters your energetic equilibrium. “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.” ~ William Shakespeare. .
@@mrc7627 I'd say women suffer more at the hands of pickup artists than men based on what I've observed but I guess it applies to both genders if they're seperated from God and tainted with the Jezabel spirit.
Looking forward to this conversation. I’m betting it has something to do with her not knowing her worth and not having standards and boundaries. My next book will be on that topic. 💕
I’m looking forward to this!! If it’s as Krystle is saying. I want to learn more and not be intimidated by some men. I say NO I will not do things!! They tell me why God thinks it’s ok. I tell them it sounds like nothing God would say from reading His word but what you would say to get what you want. Then I’m called bad names!! I want this to stop and learn! I love this Gentleman’s Wisdom!!!!
Absolutely!! She is losingor has lost her self worth!, value and is putting too much focus on him, what he wants, what she must do to please him. What she needs to do is keep God as the head of her life and love and work on herself.
I loved the way you started this discussion because truth is life is a mirror and just reflects back to us who and what we are. As a fatherless daughter I was subconsciously looking for men who would reject and abandon me. I was also never shown what a good man is and settled for relationships that were borderline toxic, because I was borderline toxic due to all sorts of childhood abuse. Now I'm in the stage of learning to have a love affair with myself 🥰 It's the BEST feeling ever 💖Now I've attracted an amaaaazing partner and marriage is on the cards🙏🏽
Great counsel! The young ladies today have led the young men think they are the prize. During a small family dinner, my grandson(who is a Christian in his mid 20s) said "we are the prize". Of course his mama and I had to inform him the right woman is the prize. Unfortunately, too many are so aggressive, it overinflate their egos and makes them lazy. Great word pastor!
I have to respectfully disagree, a good man is the prize just like a good woman is a prize. Women want men to provide and protect (which we should) and with the amount of men that do neither the one that will is a prize
@@aarongray1981 A prize is something to pursue...to work hard for...to aim for. Pursuing is what a man does (or is supposed to do). A man who provides, protects, and is the priest of his home is a gift to the woman. In ancient cultures, the man who wanted to marry a particular woman, his family gave the girl's family gifts. The Bible days a "man who finds a wife gets a good thing." So, I respectly disagree. A good woman is the prize. A good man is a gift.🙂
I was told by men that I shouldn’t say that I want marriage and a family because it will scare them off. I say “oh well, let them run off cause I want what I want and I’m not settling.”
Thank you Mr Blakes for your consistency. I’m 50 and divorced after 25 years and I wish I had a father figure like you teaching me about men before I got married. I have learnt so much I really appreciate you.
I am SO in love with myself, it took me a minute but THANK GOD I got here and it feels so so good! I gave someone more than enough time to settle down but I had to stop and realized that marriage was the last thing on his peanut brain 😆
A lot of women on here bragging about being single and loving it. Are you celibate??? THAT’S the real challenge. Heck-I can be single for the rest of my life too and have sex whenever I feel and want it. The key is in staying sanctified for the Lord and wait on Him☝🏼 to provide the husband.
Sometime its because of the inside brokenness or childhood wounds that has been subconsciously programed attracts the person. This is done unconsciously. Mirroring the attraction unawaringly. Once the individual individual gets therapy to Identify the cause..we can then see differently and will attract differently...😊
Not many are aware of this they just blindly believe that God will sort everything out wiithout putting any effort in themselves!Growth requires work and self reflection and not always blaming the other person,becouse they only act as a mirror to your own unhealed parts!
I got married recently to someone who I wouldn’t even have thought I would marry. Once I gave up looking for a certain type I just allowed God to bring him in my path and the prayer I prayed helped as well. Ladies it’s possible.
Happy for you!
The Most High God bless you and your husband to have a strong and godly marriage. All the best to you both.
Congratulations!
Thank u
Of course it’s possible. Everyone has their time.
Most clowns disappear when you say you wont have sex until you get married
And that’s a good thing👍
True. And in modern culture, sex before marriage is the norm.
@ M - So just how really STUPID are the OTHER clowns ?
Let them disappear.😀
Yes! The wrong ones go away!🙌🏽
I'm Happily single .. I Live a Great Life ... If The Lord sends me my King , that would be Great!!! ...if I remain Single for the rest of my life ... I won't lose any sleep over it. I'm still going to be happy, Serve and Honor The Lord!!! ...Travel the world and still Live a Great Life!!
Yes ma’am. I love this so much. 🙏🏼🥰
Agree!!!
💯💯💯
Yasss sista I’m with you on that…Queen standards 👑
Amen we know or worth
"Don't view it as rejection, view it as protection". Well said Pastor.
Exactly I get offended now to think they can talk me out my clothes,I heard every line and they all are old ones, the older guys are the worst they wanna feel like they pimpin.
Absolutely! Many men that have walked away, years later when we receive word of their well doing or not, we thank god for the blessing and protection of getting that burden off of us.
Rejection meaning God blocked what was not meant for you
I say God protecting me from heartbreak and misery ! I've been single for 15 years now...
i think another reason why we fail to recognize husbands is because our fathers also weren’t good husbands either…. we get confused on what to look for and what marriage is supposed to be like. i’m blessed to be learning now
the same here
Yes!
Exactly. One who had a good father, who was a good husband to his wife, has an example of what a husband is. We who have had an abusive or neglective father (or both) just fall in love with anybody who would give a ittle bit of extra but then feel somehow ok with the abuse and /or neglect. Realizing the abuse you've been through is a very important step into a new life.
@Jeffrey Green stereotypes
Yes!!!
That's why I don't have a type. I have standards and morals.
Same!
So if they're big with a twisted mouth can't read & ugly as all get out but has morals & standards...thats the one for you?
@@sus-tw2ls 😂😂😂 a twisted mouth ahahhahah
Absolutely darlin 🥰
@T Tatum lol...exactly... we all low key have a preference
SHE’S A GREAT LADY, WHY DON’T THEY MARRY HER?
1. THE WOMAN NEVER MADE MARRIAGE A REQUIREMENT
2. THE WOMAN DELIVERS BENEFITS WITHOUT COMMITMENT
3. THE WOMAN’S DESPERATION FOR A MAN REPELS WOULD BE HUSBANDS
4. THE WOMAN IS ATTRACTED TO FEMININE MEN WHO DON’T COMMIT- Her type is her worse enemy.
5. THE WOMAN MAY NOT ALLOW SPACE FOR A MASCULINE MAN TO PLAY A ROLE IN HER LIFE- A husband type needs a woman who lets him function in the masculine role.
Great talk. I enjoyed it. "Giving time to someone who doesn't deserve it -- the truth.
Hopefully, you can do a session on Kevin Samuels' messaging to the community.
Many women today are extreme feminists. The attitude (spirit) that’s being served in society (media, social media, professional circles, etc) is “I don’t need a man!” And...many women are presenting MASCULINE ENERGY instead of feminine.
Great word Pastor Blakes! Continue depositing wisdom jewels in our soul-bank. #HighValueWoman
Brother @RCBlakes,Jr ...I’m addicted to godly wisdom and that’s why I’m addicted to your channel!
@@AmahreTheRose exactly sister..it comes from men like RC here telling women to set standards so high that no man can reach. All of sudden you have a women who thinks she is too good for men
@@alldaysteviej3134 WRONG!! Your response sounds like the "entitled" minded dudes he mentions in this video. Which you obviously didn't watch or purposely ignored the several times when he stated women should fall into their feminine roles. There's no such thing as the standard being too high as it relates to this teaching. The standard can be looked at like a luxury car lets say a Bentley. Most would say the price tag is "too high" but the reality is those folk just can't afford it. The standard may just be out of your current reach.
So many of us women go into relationships with our hearts out and our eyes closed. We are so intent on showing what a great catch we are that we are not using our discernment to figure out if the man is worth our time.
You said that!
Yeah I find myself talking about how well I can cook and run a household
@@justthoughts8872 I grew up being conditioned by my mom that this is what men are interested in----its basically a "What can I do for you ?" mentality
Truth!!!! Totally exposed!
Yeah! Damn right!
"Sex ain't supposed to be free". That's a word right there, Pastor.
So on point, right!!
I been married 2 years to the man of my dreams but I had to take a deep look within & realize his high value is his integrity & character MORE than money....he treat me like a queen & while dating him I knew that marriage was my goal, he agreed & we both didn't waste each other's time....we planned our wedding
how awesome queen
AMAZING!!!!!....CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
MANY BLESSINGS ALWAYS....💖🙏🥰👑
I choose RC Blakes over Kevin Samuels any day!!!!
Any day
Kevin is the man, he has over 1 million subscribers and he is NOT the enemy. If you want to point fingers at a man right now, look up Minister Jap and FitXFearless...they have a special "Kind" of strong dislike for women. FYI
@@earthreign I hear you sis but he has mysoganistic tendencies and elements of disrespect about him. He needs to do better. He helps women but bashes them too and devalues them at times. Saying all this listening from south Africa.
@@Somegirl3602 I have to blame the women. Why do you come on his show to embarrass one self. They say things like " I have degrees and the man I was dating is not on my level". And these women are baby mommas. Guess what men are allowed to choose who they like also.
Women need to start acting the part. A man does not care about your qualifications. Choose better stop having children and stop being committed to man without being his wife. HAVE STANDARDS!!!!!
Judge a man by his character not his looks.
AMEN on this. Had to reject one that was 7 years younger than I. Saw red flags at the starting gates
Sis yaas👏👏👏👏
That's true, character is very important 👏🏾
I just literally told to guy that in these comments.
Amen.
It makes me sad that my mother will probably never see me walk down the aisle but I would rather be single than marry the wrong person 💁🏾♀️
What's more important is your path, not the aisle.
All things are possible through Jesus Christ who strengthens you.
No need to feel sad! All will be well!
@ Brittany I love your comment. Haste is not a virtue. 💯
Amen to this.🙌❤
I will always be married! I got married at 18 and I'm 62 now! Never played games with men my father taught me that as a young girl! If anything happens to my husband I believe God will send another one to love and protect me!
that'
that's awesome!! Your dad was a good man!
jesus loves and protects me
Wow ❤
People look at me quizzically, asking WHY HAVE YOU NEVER MARRIED? I reply, I’ve never been divorced either. 😉 It’s funny seeing a divorced person’s reaction, light bulb moment 💡 😅
That's a goooood answer!
This! I used to say I don’t want to be married by 30 and divorced by 40. I’m 34 years old now and I’m thankful that I am single and childless. Dating divorced men is a turn off. These people are coming with the baggage from a previous marriage, kids, alimony payments, child support payments etc. no thanks 😑
Love this answer!!! Will use it next time cuz I get that ALL the time
I was having a hard time trying to put this very point of view in to words-so little was said but so much understood
Thank You!
...in addition-so it's better to be cheated on, beated on and lied too by your husband?🤔
"Sex ain't supposed to be free" say it again Rev!
Come on!
What's the cost,if it's not suppose to be free❓
@@ga9100 commitment under the covenant of marriage before GOD!
most black males are not husband material a lot of them never had fathers to show them how to be husbands. 1 Corinthians 7:32
Sex is not supposed to be free. Even a prostitute charges for services.
He's a team player. He's a provider. He honors you. Shows chivalry. Doesn't disrespect you. A man that comfort, provide safety, protects you.
AMEN👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👐🏿🙏🏾🙏🏾👐🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿👐🏿!!!!
They are out here ladies!!!!! Trust
@@junegrace508 No, they are not.
I know a man like that. He takes damn good care of his family. Whatever his woman wants he's right there for it. He makes it his duty to make sure his family is happy
@@nofybn7794 there are plenty of good men all around us. Change your mindset. It’s all based on what you think you deserve.
KEY POINTS:
1. Never made marriage a requirement.
2. You deliver the product without price.
3. Men sense your disconnection with
your own worth/value.
4. The woman is attracting men who are
not mature enough to commit.
5. You may not allow space for the man
to function in the masculine.
Yes and Yes Amen!!!✋🏿✋🏿✋🏿✋🏿✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾💯💯💯💯💯No cow, milk or privileges for free!!! We queens have to know our worth as God ordained it👐🏿🙌🏿👑👑!! Amen🔥🔥🔥
Thank you.
@Janella Murphy yes indeed!!! God bless you. 🙂🙏
@alicia nicole you're welcome. God bless you. 🙂🙏
l think l messed up🤦🏾♀️
"You just ain't had no daddy to tell you how that goes down." People are only starting to realize that both boys AND girls need their daddy ever-present in their life.
I FELT THAT
Yup❤ 💯
“You teach people how to treat you, by your own self love.” Thanks RC
So guilty of being with someone who never wanted to be married. Wasn’t him it was me for accepting less than what I deserved. I didn’t know my worth. Now…..Queen conscious now.
Me too now we are learning going forward at the top we only go higher from here like Pastor Blake's says
Omggg Same here! 10 years & still nothing, empty promises..hanging on to deferred hope 😔giving away all of my 20s. But I'm conscious now!! By the grace of god!
I’m with you there is Inter. Took me 35years to find this truth! Had to get rid of that Jezebel spirit he passed on to me. Pastor RC helped me realize this by listening to him on RUclips. Thank you Lord for pastor RC speaking so honestly. Wish I would have found him many years ago. Gave the creep the best years of my life. Alcohol was an issue. But God is never late. FREE AT LAST!
Yes, wish I had this teaching in my young life. Let’s pass it on to our young Queens.
If we don’t require marriage it will never happen x
“Women tend to submit to men who won’t commit.” 👈🏽👏🏽💯
This i don't agree with. We tend to submit to men who seem worth submitting to. And those men who are deceivers, and make themselves seem that way, then don't commit.
I’m keeping my standard and not breaking it for NO man… I know my WORTH.👑
Amen💯💖
AMEN!!!!!!🙌🏿👐🏿🙏🏾👑👑👑💜💜
I’ve never understood why many women find it difficult to get married. Don’t compromise. Make it clear from day one that you want to marry, don’t be afraid. Always be wife material, don’t be common or cheap.
It’s been looked at as difficult simply because many women feel the need to win over a man by jumping through hoops to get him. That’s what is really difficult.
Then you don't understand much about psychology.
I don't think it is difficult to get married. Most men are not marriage material that is the real issue. The majority of women I see are married to very mediocre men so that tells me that pickings are slim.
It’s not about why won’t they marry “The woman” necessarily, it’s why aren’t “Men valuing marriage anymore.?
It is both because as women we gotta hold a standard. Some Men don’t value Marriage because they are getting too much cookies. Bishop Blake is saying that women should stop giving your body to these clowns that I call themselves a man. Date a Real Mature man that is willing to Marry You not playing games.
I'm a woman- let's be honest. Its "Why aren't women requiring marriage?"
@@ButterCookie1984 yeap we have to keep our legs closed and tame that thang!
@@katrinabeatty4372 yesssss
Too many people trying to copy Oprah and Steadman
Some Narcissists have learnt to say exactly those words "I am not looking for a girlfriend, I am looking for a wife." While he has a whole old wife hidden back at home in Houston and a baby mama in Rural Kenya waiting on his promise to marry her. I would say even when a man says those words, it is better for a woman to take her time to further discern exactly what kind of man he is ...and yes, intuition will always perk up when something about the man is amiss.
Sis I meet those we need to be careful!!
💯💯💯
Just got delivered from a so called man of God who’ said this same thing, found out he was on multiple dating sites and showing woman his penis!! He’s 41!!! God removed me with facts and showed me everything, I was delivered! God protects me!
Lmao. Been there
Lol! @brenda yes. In Kenya lol. But I've learnt to close my ears and open my eyes. Narcissists are word professionals but poor in matching with action.
THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD! Please LIKE it and share it.
You can take this two ways but my spin on it is relational to my situation. I'm always getting asked Why don't you have a boyfriend why aren't you married?
I have many suitors but they're afraid of me and those that dare come forward once they get to know me they run away. That's ok bc I'm not pursuing any man and if God takes someone out of your life it's to protect you from that person.
Second spin, I believe these men want an easy prey someone they can have fun with and no commitments. They don't want to fall in love and want someone easy not a relationship they have to work hard at. These men have wounds and create dysfunctional relationships. They do not marry these women and if they do it's bc its familiar then they cheat on them.
Looking forward to it. I sho want to know.😏
You are talking good Bishop🙌🏾
It was. THANK YOU..
🙌🏾
When you have had a real awesome and loving husband for over 20 years and now as a widow are beginning dating at 50, this reality seems further away, so many hurt, broken and toxic men out here…. You can tell a lot of them have never been made aware of real manhood. IJS
Very true.....
Yep I see it a lot too. Cause I know I am not messing up out here . So I’m like what’s the issue and they love hanging out with people with drama and if you are not about drama they back away from you as if being a good person is a problem
Hi Shelina, my name is Shelina! And you are so right. I find that trusting God and communicating your desires is key in this "AGE OF DATING"
Its amazing how bitter some of these men are. A lot of them are following the Red Pill concept. Just crazy.
CHOICES, AND THE WOMEN HAVE BEEN EASY, THEY TALK OPENLY. WOMEN WE NEED TO CHANGE.
That’s why I’m single because I’m not a “fun boy” ! Thank You Pastor for another educational video…
Are you looking for something specific?
@travism3307 😂amen
You are a rear kind. I get disappointed Coz it feels like whoever I meet, ends up with someone else and wishes me well
What are you looking for....May be I can learn a thing too
Pastor, you are telling the truth. I came into this realization 6 mos ago, and when I was done with the foolishness, I met my King 5 mos ago. He’s planning to propose next weekend. ❤❤❤
Wow! I literally tell people who ask me “Do you date? Are you dating?” My response is always shocking… I date to marry… not to get a meal, have sex, hang out or just to date… I date with the intention of marriage and if I’m not interested in getting married then… why would I date…. ? It always takes them a minute to be like that makes sense. SMH preach Sir. Preach.
Tiffany Ts: yes, though it may take some time of dating before one gets to know each other enough to know whether marriage may be possible.
My answer as well
@Tiffany... I to date with a purpose. It amazes me so many "Christian Men" want you to compromise your morals & values to be with them. I have a talk show and have literally heard men say, If I can't test drive, I ain't buying. I have been teased, ridiculed because I stick to my standards. At this point, I asked God to get some dust and fashion me a husband. LOL!!!!
Their not marrying her because she lowered her standards out of fear of being alone and dying alone basically...not truly knowing ur worth is a very bad thing... nothing wrong with being boujee and down to earth at the same time.... personal growth and maturity takes time sometimes in life
He may say marriage is the goal if he really wants the woman. Then she has to ask within what time frame. And, then watch if he is consistent and really trying to find out if they're compatible by asking questions about the future. Alot of women waste time just because a man said he wants to be married, but he doesn't want to be married to the woman he's currently with. He can say what a woman wants to hear but if his actions aren't lining up that's the real answer.
Yasss! I actually just went through that went on a date n the guy kept saying his goal was to get married. However; he will then switch up n say let’s see how it goes with no titles😒 I kindly smiled n once he dropped me off I just ghosted him🤷🏽♀️ No need to entertain silly stuff. He kept texting asking what’s wrong. No answer let him go look for that wife tuh
Bingo. I learn that the hard way
It is so important to know up front if and when he plans to marry. If he is wishy washy, it's bye bye to him.✋
@@Lele-oe2xf smart lady!
💥🎯💥
I Came of age through the" hook up "culture. When having a friend with benefits is celebrated & encouraged . , I honestly didn't know how to ask that question, the marriage question to a man. That was a terrifying question for me to ask!. Omg I thought that would run them away. I was conditioned to think, that if I continued giving him all the best of me ,that eventually it would happen. I hoped and waited out of ignorance. I submitted to nothing.I honestly didn't know better than that for so long .I had no one giving me this wisdom you are giving me now at 38 and ,3 children later . I'm hurt and disappointed but I realize I am the cause of my own heartbreak and I accept that I am enough . I'm here today listening to learn more about myself and to heal and not repeat this toxic pattern ever again.
I salute you. Thanks for sharing.
❤️💜❤️
Yes Lord don’t submit to men that won’t commit🙏🏽💯
“He greasing up his body with your product and don’t have a job” that took me out. Profound word. God bless you Sir.
Screaminggggg 😂😂😂
Ooh I had one of those... except it was his sister's product. He shared a bathroom with her in a flat which was owned by their parents... And then I wondered why he expected ME to pay at the movies.
Hope all is well with you and your family 🙏 Thank u 🙏
@@josephrobertson4106 Thank you
Praise God brother 🙏
Pastor I don’t care if you are “fussing” or speaking like a dad because this is so good! Keep it coming 🔥🔥
Right. Keep speaking the truth.
Old folk use to say “WHY BUY THE COW WHEN YOU CAN GET THE MILK FOR FREE” VALUE WITHOUT COST
He’s not greasing his skin with all your products and doesn’t have a job. I’m screaminggggg 😂😂😂. That’s facts Bishop lol. Really and truly
This really opened my eyes today! I was raised by my father and brothers as an independent strong woman, but it left me lacking because I didn't know how to stand in my femininity and let my man provide for me. I feel like I always need to be helping or fixing the house like my father taught us, but that's not what a man wants or needs from me as their woman. Thank you for bringing this beautiful message to us all. God bless you!
Some women don’t make marriage a requirement by behaving like a wife.
Cause they’re in the “land of make-believe”
I'm confused by your phrasing. Can you please clarify your statement?
@@BL3SSed-Bliss I think she mean some women Cook every night, wash his clothes, play step mom, live with a man have babies etc n make believe they’re married instead of actually requiring the man to marry her. So some men rather that n feel she more easy going n he can keep his money to pay for his car n take other females out lol
@@Lele-oe2xf
I appreciate that, Sis; it was terribly confusing.
Basically, she is simply parroting to underscore one of the points that is said/made in this video; which is don’t play a role that you are not “paid” for. Don’t assume responsibilities that are not within your title. Essentially, the eons-old adage about 🐄 and free🥛.
Others believe that you must _show/prove_ your wife-ability in order to be “chosen”\pre-approved. I needed to be certain that it was _not that_ point that she was making, given the wording/sentence structure.
Bless 💚
In house girlfriends for yearssss 🤦🏾♀️
“The bed is the fastest way away from the altar” This is a great Message and my second time viewing it! I will continue to wait on God and enjoy embracing my singleness! I love me!
I don't agree! I had relations with my husband before marriage! Many marriages end in divorce even so called Christians not to mention pastors cheating on their wives!
That was my first thought not making marriage a requirement women back in the day women required marriage before anything the women of today seem to have lost that value I'm guilty myself
I was in love with someone who God had not chose for me so when i left him i prayed, i fell at the altar, i had a deep conversation with Jesus and 5 months later God gave me the honest desire of my heart. We have been married for going on 20 years. Patience,Gid did a good thing.
My parents had a matched marriage. My mother was miserable & felt trapped. My father worked hard & provided but didn't love her. I watched this growing up and naturally never developed a desire for marriage. I learned from a bad example. I believe this is what led me to give my value to a man without price because if I had desired marriage, I wouldn't have.
same here, my father is a narcissist and since I always felt afraid of commitment I 'd rather be free to come and go. It took me 30 years to realize that I was trapped and now 10 more years to find the strength to not care so much about what my family wants.
Some women prefer not to marry after having a few broken and failed relationships
So true, time and time again
That’s ok too
Yes, you see how cruel a man can really be. I'm in no rush to be married anymore. I need a good relationship with someone who wants to be in a good relationship first. Let alone marriage
Facts 💯
That's where I'm at MsReeRee65, I'm fine just traveling the world, building my business and having a companion, I don't desire marriage.
I was so used to jumping into a relationship sex first that when I got with someone who was potentially husband material I forced myself on him sexually when he really didn't want to go there. The relationship went to hell in a hand basket to say the least all because of sex and what I thought men wanted.
Same but u live and learn
Bishop Blake's, there are no thumbs down. Real seekers of the gospel are willing to hear the truth.
Thank you 🙏🏽
Amen!!!
“Men need to do good to feel good and Women need to feel good to do good”!!
No truer words have been spoken!!🙏🏽
Peace and Blessings 🌺
I wanted kids soooo bad. I did make marriage the priority and it was always my first question to any potential husbands “I want kids and marriage…how do you feel about those things. BAM 💥 Married a year later.
"What does a husband look like" pastor this should be your next discussion because sadly I don't know.
He got a whole wife without a contract...... why should he commit. Pastor Blakes.🤔 (pastor preach for those in the back that didn't hear it!)
Yeah...why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free...👀🙄😣🤔
Value without price.
Pastor, not only to your first point that most women do not state their position right away, oftentimes that is due to women believing that they should wait on the man to pursue and lead in that area. What's unfortunate about that in many ways is that while women wait for the man to take the lead, women fall prey to giving up her standards in silent hope that he will step up. Actually this is your second point! With 18 days remaining to my wedding 💒 day, I am STILL at the point where if, for WHATEVER reason, that day does not happen, I am firm in my mind that God has indeed promised His very best. Women need to raise their standards and stick to them and TOTALLY trust God in the procrss. It will be well worth it in the long run 🏃♂️!!
Please...you tell em what you want, they're gone. No more real mature responsible men out here.
@@sus-tw2ls let them GO!!!
My thought for years is women need to raise their standard, require more from men, and both genders need to exercise the fruit of self control. It's great to hear the staunch biblical opinion of a Godly man! Ty for this segment!!! CGH
I used to have standards but the world made me feel some way. Forced my self there. Finally getting the strength to be who I am while I'm still young. Thank you Sir for the wise words.
Trusting God for the man He is preparing just for me.
I agree pastor but some men if we say no to sex because they usually are not emotional will pass up the quality women. For the women giving it away for free. So what it boils down to they have to desire the Elusive and Exclusive
Lady enough, to chase her and committ and marry her. That's the only solution meantime we have to be lonely for masculine company because we keep saying no in order to get him to say Yes
Its a sad game. But im not being used im trying to meet an old fashioned gentleman. THANKS GREAT ADVICE
You are telling the TRUTH! Some women have truly made it hard for the ladies with standards. I’ve been told by men that I’m tooooo much work! LOL #IHAVESTANDARDSPERIOD
But you have peace of mind and that's alright...
High maintenance is good. Imo
This helped me because that's exactly how I was just went with the flow. Didn't realize I was doing that until my last relationship. He always spoke about marriage and finally he said he never talk about marriage and I told him I would love to get married but I'm not desperate but I have a 2yr window of engagement then marriage. He made it seem like he wanted what I wanted. Then we reached beyond my 2yr mark and he said I don't think that's what God wants me to do right now. So I chose me that was 3yrs ago. I am content. I'm ready for my set man
I can relate
Oh my God...crying all the way through this...57 years old...learned this only two years ago. It's still gut wrenching to hear though. I now date hypergamously. Thank you.
Your Mr. Right I’d out their for you
🤣🤣🤣
I will NEVER settle for less! I deserve the BEST!
This is very helpful. A lot of times we woman are trying to prove that we are not a "gold digger" or user. Another thing is that being single all of my life, I had no choice but to be the "independent " woman, because if you don't work, you don't eat, you don't have. It's not that we didn't want a man, we just didn't have that relationship or man that provided for us, so we had to do it ourselves. We want our men, our husband, our boaz but hear other women say if you don't do this or that, someone else will. So many women walk around with they breast out, butt practically exposed and we are made to feel forced to conform, to give up our morals and even our "cookies", so a man can see us or even desire us. We are made to feel that just being ourselves is not good enough so we need to conform.
It’s about realising women are being hoodwinked and doing all that will not make you more attractive to any man; if you have to do all that you are trying to bag the wrong men.
@@princesstiffanynews Yeah, but so many are even in the church
"All" your life??? Single...
@@carolyneasley8980 Well, single is unmarried. A boyfriend her and there doesn't really count.
@@misssterling3094 ok understood.
Indeed, and they think it’s strange when you tell them no, I’m preparing to be someone’s wife.. oh they don’t like that, and your right- it weaves out those unworthy and keeps me protected from those with hidden intentions.. thank you god!
weeds out
There are some women who actually enjoy the single life. I, myself, value my space. I am 29...marriage is not a priority for me at the moment
I believe God will bless me with a husband who is everything I wanted, needed, plus more than I could even imagine. I will never lower my standards just to have a man. I know I am the prize. I will never chase a man. I'm the catch. If one man doesn't believe it the next man will. Know your worth. Never settle for a man.
Sorry you can’t be friends with a man you are Attracted to or he is attracted to you. There is an alternative motive there and makes it comfortable. I rather move on I can’t be friends with any ex.
@@LeasTimelyServices ya you will go in the same cycle hook up and not move on. If a man is for you he will propose and commit not just use you for sex! I have enough respect to have no interest in being friends with any ex sorry.
Ulterior
Ikr if it is mutual
Oh Lawd! Bishop be preaching like he has a camera in my house 😂✍🏾✍🏾
Yes indeed ... I'm with you on this one sis.
Amen! Sista!😂
I agree with you!
All true! My daughters get upset with me only because I value them more than they do themselves. I pray that they will very soon raise their standards so that they will attract husbands who will recognize & value their true worth, as God designed them. No real man would let a woman of that caliber get away.
This was probably my favorite video because I’ve been going about this all wrong.
We used to know this stuff. What has happened? Looking back, all my Aunts, Uncles, cousins, and older sisters and brothers were married. My mom and dad started married till death. My church family.Most of the adults were married. I can remember two men standing up in church asking for prayer to find a wife. Don’t see that anymore . I’m 45 not 100. We have forgotten who we are. I wonder how this happened?
I was with someone years ago. that didn't want to be married. I didn't know my value or worth..I honor myself, love myself completely.. Now feeling I am queen.
This is going to be GOOD! What about if she has those boundaries and standards and have not encounter a man that does. Where are they? I USED to attract the opposite and they didn't want to have nothing to do with boundaries and standards. They claimed to be saved Christian men. These days, I'm so focus on me and my purpose and getting myself together, I don't meet nobody. Unless it's online....Whew...didn't type of breed of men. Let's talk about Pastor Blakes! 😃
God has your address and is the worlds best Matchmaker! Remember, He brought Eve to Adam and Adam recognized HIS Eve. Also God didn’t tell Adam he needed a helpmate, he let Adam recognize his need. Trust that if your hearts right before God and you are showing your love towards God by obeying Him, then He will introduce you to your own hand-crafted “Adam.” ☺️
God hears your heart! But a lot of those men on the internet apps are narcissists, whether it be a Christian dating app or a Buddhist dating app.
@@ShoutItFromTheHousetops love your reply to her with so much godly wisdom and common sense. Tfs. I agree with you.
@@e.adriannapatterson3900 Thank you for the encouragement for speaking out. God bless you Sister! ✝️♥️
I am basically in the same place that you are, except with one caveat... as you lean into all the new skills and activities and possibilities of getting yourself together, you have to consciously seek to not do these things ALONE, even though you CAN. Join groups online and, as the world SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY opens up, in person where there are people interested in what you are interested in. Let your gifts and your purpose make room for you in new circles of people of like mind and like spirit. Right now I am baby-stepping this because of Covid, but the quality of men and women I spend my time with is both expanding and greatly improving.
It's like those 7:00 and 8:00 classes in college... nothing like studying around people that come to learn the material and are on their purpose to start the day. The effort to be on time and awake and ready PRE-QUALIFIED everybody in the room for good learning and experiences.
So: you are getting yourself pre-qualified to be in spaces many people will not. You just have to choose to not go alone. Will you be found by a man tomorrow? I don't know. Will your chances of being found by a better man in a better circle increase if you join better circles? Most likely, and in the meantime, your life will expand and open up in other ways.
I think this is one of your best teachings pastor, women need to hear this because this is REAL TALK!!!! Women are not valuing themselves enough and giving away too many benefits. We as women need to understand our value and worth and more importantly we need to love and appreciate what God has given us and know that we are the true gift to a man. Again GREAT TEACHING!!! ❤️
Back in 2009, an evangelist was praying for me and he said that God said I do not have a father. I am very blessed by your ministry as it teaches me many things that I have missed. Thank you!
A lot of women were and are waiting for their man to asked. Most women assume that's the next step in building a life. I never thought men were not thinking that way.
You are so right! I wish someone had spoken to me like this when I was 15. it could have been my father, my uncles, or anyone close to me. Not even my mother nor my only two aunts spoke to me about this and in this way when I really needed it. Not one iperson n my family addressed the issue and sadly they all loved God. God bless you R.C., for giving your time and energy to tell the real truth no matter what!
I have the same wish. I do all I can to guide my kids now as well as myself. I wish RC was around me 30 years ago ❤️
I'm amazed to at how no one spoke up about anything money relationships I mean nothing Lord bless our forefathers I'm done cause I just lay in my bed and be like wow it's like a dumb muted spirit took over there tongue
Pastor Blake's is throwing wisdom gems out here left and right tonight. "You giving away value without price.... you giving away Cartier free!"🙌👏👌🤗
I asked a guy who was my bed buddy why he didn't make me his woman...he said because I didn't MAKE him.
All Pastor is saying is soo very true for me. Thank you for this video as I will use this as a constant reference.
Single AND celibate for 30 years...Contentment is a CHOICE....
"Therefore whatever state I'm in, I learn to be content." is what the Apostle Paul states.
IT IS NOT A CAKEWALK...but with God's strength 💪 and prayer 🙏it can be done. In the interim...I am learning to LOVE GOD, serve Him, and LOVE ME. Thank you Dr. Blakes.
Sis, his decisions are not your fault. You were with a man who was not commitment-minded, and maybe you didn't vet him specifically for that, but... That doesn't make his decision to never accept the responsibility for your heart, YOUR fault. He is the one who should be held accountable for his own decisions, and his answer just shows he is only too willing to put responsibility for his choices on a woman. That was not a full blown mature man.
Wow.... ouch. Unforgettable lesson rite there👌🏾
@@e.l.lucychiron I hear you but it is partially her fault. He didn’t make her his woman because she didn’t demand it. She was bed buddies with a man and didn’t set a standard for herself. We need to stop saying to each other it’s not your fault. We take blame off of us and put it on a man but we get to choose who we give our body too. If a woman give her body to a man that won’t commit to her , that’s her fault. A man can’t take what you don’t give. The good news is that she learned from that and can now make better choices. I think that’s what we’re all trying to do, make better relationship choices.
The Requirement!💝👫
Sadly, 99% of women want marriage but yet we have to vocalize it. Some women are scared they will run the man off.
I wished someone would tell me this great talking 25 years ago.God Bless You !!!!
That was good. I didn't know it's ok to say openly I want to be married.
Dear heart you can say whatever you want. It is YOUR body that is the gift.
Self love is priceless
The Most High getting me prepared for my husband. Can't wait to see you because we're to be a team for the creator.
Beautiful may God bless you
Me too!!
An honest man, a faithful man, a provider, protector, good father, hard working man. Honor man, team player, a man of God. 🙏
There is a lot of value in this message by Pastor Blakes. Some of us, black women, have been brainwashed into thinking we should compete like a man does with masculine energy. However, feminine energy is also very powerful. It is inate wisdom we need to get back in touch with. 🥰
One of my girlfriends and I were talking the other day. After being married twice, I've decided, I'm better off on my own. I'm at a season in my life that I have wonderful friendships, and sex is not important to me, so I'm good. Marriage and men are a lot of work!
Right!👍
Work…..that what I’m fed up with. I see marriage now is a contract to a maid,(cleaning,laundress,cook,accountant,house manager,therapist,ie listening, discussions, comfort, and can have sex with you…..even though you’re tired. So commitment has a whole new meaning for me. I admit…. I’m lazy and to tired for any relationship. I’m good. I’m happy. God know it. (Save and happy)😀🙏🏾😘.
@@robinnewton1061 Yes it is. I make a very good living as a realtor, and I don't wanna marry someone who can't take care of me, better than I can take care of me. I'm enjoying my life by myself right now.
@@earthreign but we end up alone anyway….women normally out live their husband. , not to mention how many marriages where one feel alone, living the same house. Nothing wrong being single. God did not command this…thou shalt be married.. Of course,there is some commandments that are being ignored. Just my opinion. Not forcing it on nobody. Marriage is a beautiful thing. But if you’ll be honest with yourself (me)….. it’s work, and I’m tired. Can’t give anymore. But everyone be blessed if that’s what you want. I respect that….in turn respect mine.
@@earthreign but I agree with what your saying also.
Absolutely, we teach folks how to treat us. Come on with it..
Yes yes yes .....
"Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us." ~ Ellen Hopkins. 🙃 Thank you for flipping this sad situation right side up Bishop Blakes and Lady Lisa. God bless.
🙏💪💝⚖️💝
I 100% agree with you there 👍🏾
Nope. I give the same energy I’m given.
@@amerokeewiya1320 There's more to it than simply matching energies. You'd need to remain sovereign in your own right, having an internal of control and be discerning about how you respond to the various energies you're confronted with.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: “Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
Sometimes it means using a gentle, calming word, touch, distraction or humour to defuse impending violence.
You can't solve a problem by the same means it was created.
You need to see things from all the various perspectives and choose the best means even if it's the opposite.
If you kept going lower vibration every time you were confronted with low vibing ppl you'd play into and enmesh with lower vibes.
If you stay steady in high vibration energies, seeing thing from your higher mind you'd better appreciate that matching another's low energy is a reactive and combative approach that pulls you off your centre and roller-coasters your energetic equilibrium.
“This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.” ~ William Shakespeare.
.
True girls say one thing do different all men know pua
@@mrc7627 I'd say women suffer more at the hands of pickup artists than men based on what I've observed but I guess it applies to both genders if they're seperated from God and tainted with the Jezabel spirit.
A man has to do good to feel good & woman has to feel good to do good. 🙌🏾
Looking forward to this conversation. I’m betting it has something to do with her not knowing her worth and not having standards and boundaries. My next book will be on that topic. 💕
You are prophetic.😂
I’m looking forward to this!! If it’s as Krystle is saying. I want to learn more and not be intimidated by some men. I say NO I will not do things!! They tell me why God thinks it’s ok.
I tell them it sounds like nothing God would say from reading His word but what you would say to get what you want.
Then I’m called bad names!! I want this to stop and learn! I love this Gentleman’s Wisdom!!!!
Absolutely!! She is losingor has lost her self worth!, value and is putting too much focus on him, what he wants, what she must do to please him. What she needs to do is keep God as the head of her life and love and work on herself.
My thoughts exactly
@@RCBlakesJr. 😂😂😂
I loved the way you started this discussion because truth is life is a mirror and just reflects back to us who and what we are. As a fatherless daughter I was subconsciously looking for men who would reject and abandon me. I was also never shown what a good man is and settled for relationships that were borderline toxic, because I was borderline toxic due to all sorts of childhood abuse. Now I'm in the stage of learning to have a love affair with myself 🥰 It's the BEST feeling ever 💖Now I've attracted an amaaaazing partner and marriage is on the cards🙏🏽
Congratulations Victoria English
Thank you for sharing this
Great counsel! The young ladies today have led the young men think they are the prize. During a small family dinner, my grandson(who is a Christian in his mid 20s) said "we are the prize". Of course his mama and I had to inform him the right woman is the prize. Unfortunately, too many are so aggressive, it overinflate their egos and makes them lazy.
Great word pastor!
I have to respectfully disagree, a good man is the prize just like a good woman is a prize. Women want men to provide and protect (which we should) and with the amount of men that do neither the one that will is a prize
@@aarongray1981 I 💯 agree to this
@@aarongray1981 A prize is something to pursue...to work hard for...to aim for. Pursuing is what a man does (or is supposed to do).
A man who provides, protects, and is the priest of his home is a gift to the woman. In ancient cultures, the man who wanted to marry a particular woman, his family gave the girl's family gifts.
The Bible days a "man who finds a wife gets a good thing."
So, I respectly disagree. A good woman is the prize. A good man is a gift.🙂
@@aarongray1981 RC is basically referencing the proverb. He that findeth a wife, findeth a treasure ( a good thing).It's biblical, brother.
I was told by men that I shouldn’t say that I want marriage and a family because it will scare them off. I say “oh well, let them run off cause I want what I want and I’m not settling.”
Real Talk right there!!💯💯💯
"Fishing in the Clown pond " 💯 accurate. At 49 and never married / child free, wish I would have learned these lessons earlier
Thank you Mr Blakes for your consistency. I’m 50 and divorced after 25 years and I wish I had a father figure like you teaching me about men before I got married. I have learnt so much I really appreciate you.
Good evening Pastor, married twice and I’m the common denominator…my reflection is within. I checked myself, oh they were trash but I picked them💕
Been there!
I am SO in love with myself, it took me a minute but THANK GOD I got here and it feels so so good! I gave someone more than enough time to settle down but I had to stop and realized that marriage was the last thing on his peanut brain 😆
A lot of women on here bragging about being single and loving it. Are you celibate??? THAT’S the real challenge. Heck-I can be single for the rest of my life too and have sex whenever I feel and want it. The key is in staying sanctified for the Lord and wait on Him☝🏼 to provide the husband.
Rightttt… single & still sleeping around outside of marriage
Exactly! I’m waiting on the Lord for my husband now. I believe He will connect us. I hope so
Stop swearing.
I always find genuine peace in you, Bishop RC. Your kindness should be known to all. Amen.
Sometime its because of the inside brokenness or childhood wounds that has been subconsciously programed attracts the person. This is done unconsciously. Mirroring the attraction unawaringly.
Once the individual individual gets therapy to
Identify the cause..we can then see differently and will attract differently...😊
Not many are aware of this they just blindly believe that God will sort everything out wiithout putting any effort in themselves!Growth requires work and self reflection and not always blaming the other person,becouse they only act as a mirror to your own unhealed parts!