I got married recently to someone who I wouldn’t even have thought I would marry. Once I gave up looking for a certain type I just allowed God to bring him in my path and the prayer I prayed helped as well. Ladies it’s possible.
Kevin is the man, he has over 1 million subscribers and he is NOT the enemy. If you want to point fingers at a man right now, look up Minister Jap and FitXFearless...they have a special "Kind" of strong dislike for women. FYI
@@earthreign I hear you sis but he has mysoganistic tendencies and elements of disrespect about him. He needs to do better. He helps women but bashes them too and devalues them at times. Saying all this listening from south Africa.
@@Somegirl3602 I have to blame the women. Why do you come on his show to embarrass one self. They say things like " I have degrees and the man I was dating is not on my level". And these women are baby mommas. Guess what men are allowed to choose who they like also.
Women need to start acting the part. A man does not care about your qualifications. Choose better stop having children and stop being committed to man without being his wife. HAVE STANDARDS!!!!!
Exactly I get offended now to think they can talk me out my clothes,I heard every line and they all are old ones, the older guys are the worst they wanna feel like they pimpin.
Absolutely! Many men that have walked away, years later when we receive word of their well doing or not, we thank god for the blessing and protection of getting that burden off of us.
i think another reason why we fail to recognize husbands is because our fathers also weren’t good husbands either…. we get confused on what to look for and what marriage is supposed to be like. i’m blessed to be learning now
Exactly. One who had a good father, who was a good husband to his wife, has an example of what a husband is. We who have had an abusive or neglective father (or both) just fall in love with anybody who would give a ittle bit of extra but then feel somehow ok with the abuse and /or neglect. Realizing the abuse you've been through is a very important step into a new life.
I'm Happily single .. I Live a Great Life ... If The Lord sends me my King , that would be Great!!! ...if I remain Single for the rest of my life ... I won't lose any sleep over it. I'm still going to be happy, Serve and Honor The Lord!!! ...Travel the world and still Live a Great Life!!
SHE’S A GREAT LADY, WHY DON’T THEY MARRY HER? 1. THE WOMAN NEVER MADE MARRIAGE A REQUIREMENT 2. THE WOMAN DELIVERS BENEFITS WITHOUT COMMITMENT 3. THE WOMAN’S DESPERATION FOR A MAN REPELS WOULD BE HUSBANDS 4. THE WOMAN IS ATTRACTED TO FEMININE MEN WHO DON’T COMMIT- Her type is her worse enemy. 5. THE WOMAN MAY NOT ALLOW SPACE FOR A MASCULINE MAN TO PLAY A ROLE IN HER LIFE- A husband type needs a woman who lets him function in the masculine role.
Great talk. I enjoyed it. "Giving time to someone who doesn't deserve it -- the truth. Hopefully, you can do a session on Kevin Samuels' messaging to the community.
Many women today are extreme feminists. The attitude (spirit) that’s being served in society (media, social media, professional circles, etc) is “I don’t need a man!” And...many women are presenting MASCULINE ENERGY instead of feminine. Great word Pastor Blakes! Continue depositing wisdom jewels in our soul-bank. #HighValueWoman
@@AmahreTheRose exactly sister..it comes from men like RC here telling women to set standards so high that no man can reach. All of sudden you have a women who thinks she is too good for men
@@alldaysteviej3134 WRONG!! Your response sounds like the "entitled" minded dudes he mentions in this video. Which you obviously didn't watch or purposely ignored the several times when he stated women should fall into their feminine roles. There's no such thing as the standard being too high as it relates to this teaching. The standard can be looked at like a luxury car lets say a Bentley. Most would say the price tag is "too high" but the reality is those folk just can't afford it. The standard may just be out of your current reach.
I been married 2 years to the man of my dreams but I had to take a deep look within & realize his high value is his integrity & character MORE than money....he treat me like a queen & while dating him I knew that marriage was my goal, he agreed & we both didn't waste each other's time....we planned our wedding
So many of us women go into relationships with our hearts out and our eyes closed. We are so intent on showing what a great catch we are that we are not using our discernment to figure out if the man is worth our time.
@@justthoughts8872 I grew up being conditioned by my mom that this is what men are interested in----its basically a "What can I do for you ?" mentality
It is both because as women we gotta hold a standard. Some Men don’t value Marriage because they are getting too much cookies. Bishop Blake is saying that women should stop giving your body to these clowns that I call themselves a man. Date a Real Mature man that is willing to Marry You not playing games.
I will always be married! I got married at 18 and I'm 62 now! Never played games with men my father taught me that as a young girl! If anything happens to my husband I believe God will send another one to love and protect me!
KEY POINTS: 1. Never made marriage a requirement. 2. You deliver the product without price. 3. Men sense your disconnection with your own worth/value. 4. The woman is attracting men who are not mature enough to commit. 5. You may not allow space for the man to function in the masculine.
I know a man like that. He takes damn good care of his family. Whatever his woman wants he's right there for it. He makes it his duty to make sure his family is happy
We used to know this stuff. What has happened? Looking back, all my Aunts, Uncles, cousins, and older sisters and brothers were married. My mom and dad started married till death. My church family.Most of the adults were married. I can remember two men standing up in church asking for prayer to find a wife. Don’t see that anymore . I’m 45 not 100. We have forgotten who we are. I wonder how this happened?
So guilty of being with someone who never wanted to be married. Wasn’t him it was me for accepting less than what I deserved. I didn’t know my worth. Now…..Queen conscious now.
Omggg Same here! 10 years & still nothing, empty promises..hanging on to deferred hope 😔giving away all of my 20s. But I'm conscious now!! By the grace of god!
I’m with you there is Inter. Took me 35years to find this truth! Had to get rid of that Jezebel spirit he passed on to me. Pastor RC helped me realize this by listening to him on RUclips. Thank you Lord for pastor RC speaking so honestly. Wish I would have found him many years ago. Gave the creep the best years of my life. Alcohol was an issue. But God is never late. FREE AT LAST!
Some Narcissists have learnt to say exactly those words "I am not looking for a girlfriend, I am looking for a wife." While he has a whole old wife hidden back at home in Houston and a baby mama in Rural Kenya waiting on his promise to marry her. I would say even when a man says those words, it is better for a woman to take her time to further discern exactly what kind of man he is ...and yes, intuition will always perk up when something about the man is amiss.
Just got delivered from a so called man of God who’ said this same thing, found out he was on multiple dating sites and showing woman his penis!! He’s 41!!! God removed me with facts and showed me everything, I was delivered! God protects me!
Lol! @brenda yes. In Kenya lol. But I've learnt to close my ears and open my eyes. Narcissists are word professionals but poor in matching with action.
You can take this two ways but my spin on it is relational to my situation. I'm always getting asked Why don't you have a boyfriend why aren't you married? I have many suitors but they're afraid of me and those that dare come forward once they get to know me they run away. That's ok bc I'm not pursuing any man and if God takes someone out of your life it's to protect you from that person. Second spin, I believe these men want an easy prey someone they can have fun with and no commitments. They don't want to fall in love and want someone easy not a relationship they have to work hard at. These men have wounds and create dysfunctional relationships. They do not marry these women and if they do it's bc its familiar then they cheat on them.
I was in love with someone who God had not chose for me so when i left him i prayed, i fell at the altar, i had a deep conversation with Jesus and 5 months later God gave me the honest desire of my heart. We have been married for going on 20 years. Patience,Gid did a good thing.
@@BL3SSed-Bliss I think she mean some women Cook every night, wash his clothes, play step mom, live with a man have babies etc n make believe they’re married instead of actually requiring the man to marry her. So some men rather that n feel she more easy going n he can keep his money to pay for his car n take other females out lol
@@Lele-oe2xf I appreciate that, Sis; it was terribly confusing. Basically, she is simply parroting to underscore one of the points that is said/made in this video; which is don’t play a role that you are not “paid” for. Don’t assume responsibilities that are not within your title. Essentially, the eons-old adage about 🐄 and free🥛. Others believe that you must _show/prove_ your wife-ability in order to be “chosen”\pre-approved. I needed to be certain that it was _not that_ point that she was making, given the wording/sentence structure. Bless 💚
This i don't agree with. We tend to submit to men who seem worth submitting to. And those men who are deceivers, and make themselves seem that way, then don't commit.
I’ve never understood why many women find it difficult to get married. Don’t compromise. Make it clear from day one that you want to marry, don’t be afraid. Always be wife material, don’t be common or cheap.
It’s been looked at as difficult simply because many women feel the need to win over a man by jumping through hoops to get him. That’s what is really difficult.
I don't think it is difficult to get married. Most men are not marriage material that is the real issue. The majority of women I see are married to very mediocre men so that tells me that pickings are slim.
"You just ain't had no daddy to tell you how that goes down." People are only starting to realize that both boys AND girls need their daddy ever-present in their life.
Ooh I had one of those... except it was his sister's product. He shared a bathroom with her in a flat which was owned by their parents... And then I wondered why he expected ME to pay at the movies.
When you have had a real awesome and loving husband for over 20 years and now as a widow are beginning dating at 50, this reality seems further away, so many hurt, broken and toxic men out here…. You can tell a lot of them have never been made aware of real manhood. IJS
Yep I see it a lot too. Cause I know I am not messing up out here . So I’m like what’s the issue and they love hanging out with people with drama and if you are not about drama they back away from you as if being a good person is a problem
Wow! I literally tell people who ask me “Do you date? Are you dating?” My response is always shocking… I date to marry… not to get a meal, have sex, hang out or just to date… I date with the intention of marriage and if I’m not interested in getting married then… why would I date…. ? It always takes them a minute to be like that makes sense. SMH preach Sir. Preach.
@Tiffany... I to date with a purpose. It amazes me so many "Christian Men" want you to compromise your morals & values to be with them. I have a talk show and have literally heard men say, If I can't test drive, I ain't buying. I have been teased, ridiculed because I stick to my standards. At this point, I asked God to get some dust and fashion me a husband. LOL!!!!
I Came of age through the" hook up "culture. When having a friend with benefits is celebrated & encouraged . , I honestly didn't know how to ask that question, the marriage question to a man. That was a terrifying question for me to ask!. Omg I thought that would run them away. I was conditioned to think, that if I continued giving him all the best of me ,that eventually it would happen. I hoped and waited out of ignorance. I submitted to nothing.I honestly didn't know better than that for so long .I had no one giving me this wisdom you are giving me now at 38 and ,3 children later . I'm hurt and disappointed but I realize I am the cause of my own heartbreak and I accept that I am enough . I'm here today listening to learn more about myself and to heal and not repeat this toxic pattern ever again.
People look at me quizzically, asking WHY HAVE YOU NEVER MARRIED? I reply, I’ve never been divorced either. 😉 It’s funny seeing a divorced person’s reaction, light bulb moment 💡 😅
This! I used to say I don’t want to be married by 30 and divorced by 40. I’m 34 years old now and I’m thankful that I am single and childless. Dating divorced men is a turn off. These people are coming with the baggage from a previous marriage, kids, alimony payments, child support payments etc. no thanks 😑
Yes, you see how cruel a man can really be. I'm in no rush to be married anymore. I need a good relationship with someone who wants to be in a good relationship first. Let alone marriage
Sorry you can’t be friends with a man you are Attracted to or he is attracted to you. There is an alternative motive there and makes it comfortable. I rather move on I can’t be friends with any ex.
@@LeasTimelyServices ya you will go in the same cycle hook up and not move on. If a man is for you he will propose and commit not just use you for sex! I have enough respect to have no interest in being friends with any ex sorry.
This really opened my eyes today! I was raised by my father and brothers as an independent strong woman, but it left me lacking because I didn't know how to stand in my femininity and let my man provide for me. I feel like I always need to be helping or fixing the house like my father taught us, but that's not what a man wants or needs from me as their woman. Thank you for bringing this beautiful message to us all. God bless you!
Pastor, you are telling the truth. I came into this realization 6 mos ago, and when I was done with the foolishness, I met my King 5 mos ago. He’s planning to propose next weekend. ❤❤❤
Their not marrying her because she lowered her standards out of fear of being alone and dying alone basically...not truly knowing ur worth is a very bad thing... nothing wrong with being boujee and down to earth at the same time.... personal growth and maturity takes time sometimes in life
“The bed is the fastest way away from the altar” This is a great Message and my second time viewing it! I will continue to wait on God and enjoy embracing my singleness! I love me!
I don't agree! I had relations with my husband before marriage! Many marriages end in divorce even so called Christians not to mention pastors cheating on their wives!
A lot of women on here bragging about being single and loving it. Are you celibate??? THAT’S the real challenge. Heck-I can be single for the rest of my life too and have sex whenever I feel and want it. The key is in staying sanctified for the Lord and wait on Him☝🏼 to provide the husband.
This is very helpful. A lot of times we woman are trying to prove that we are not a "gold digger" or user. Another thing is that being single all of my life, I had no choice but to be the "independent " woman, because if you don't work, you don't eat, you don't have. It's not that we didn't want a man, we just didn't have that relationship or man that provided for us, so we had to do it ourselves. We want our men, our husband, our boaz but hear other women say if you don't do this or that, someone else will. So many women walk around with they breast out, butt practically exposed and we are made to feel forced to conform, to give up our morals and even our "cookies", so a man can see us or even desire us. We are made to feel that just being ourselves is not good enough so we need to conform.
It’s about realising women are being hoodwinked and doing all that will not make you more attractive to any man; if you have to do all that you are trying to bag the wrong men.
Indeed, and they think it’s strange when you tell them no, I’m preparing to be someone’s wife.. oh they don’t like that, and your right- it weaves out those unworthy and keeps me protected from those with hidden intentions.. thank you god!
This helped me because that's exactly how I was just went with the flow. Didn't realize I was doing that until my last relationship. He always spoke about marriage and finally he said he never talk about marriage and I told him I would love to get married but I'm not desperate but I have a 2yr window of engagement then marriage. He made it seem like he wanted what I wanted. Then we reached beyond my 2yr mark and he said I don't think that's what God wants me to do right now. So I chose me that was 3yrs ago. I am content. I'm ready for my set man
I agree pastor but some men if we say no to sex because they usually are not emotional will pass up the quality women. For the women giving it away for free. So what it boils down to they have to desire the Elusive and Exclusive Lady enough, to chase her and committ and marry her. That's the only solution meantime we have to be lonely for masculine company because we keep saying no in order to get him to say Yes Its a sad game. But im not being used im trying to meet an old fashioned gentleman. THANKS GREAT ADVICE
You are so right! I wish someone had spoken to me like this when I was 15. it could have been my father, my uncles, or anyone close to me. Not even my mother nor my only two aunts spoke to me about this and in this way when I really needed it. Not one iperson n my family addressed the issue and sadly they all loved God. God bless you R.C., for giving your time and energy to tell the real truth no matter what!
I'm amazed to at how no one spoke up about anything money relationships I mean nothing Lord bless our forefathers I'm done cause I just lay in my bed and be like wow it's like a dumb muted spirit took over there tongue
Pastor, not only to your first point that most women do not state their position right away, oftentimes that is due to women believing that they should wait on the man to pursue and lead in that area. What's unfortunate about that in many ways is that while women wait for the man to take the lead, women fall prey to giving up her standards in silent hope that he will step up. Actually this is your second point! With 18 days remaining to my wedding 💒 day, I am STILL at the point where if, for WHATEVER reason, that day does not happen, I am firm in my mind that God has indeed promised His very best. Women need to raise their standards and stick to them and TOTALLY trust God in the procrss. It will be well worth it in the long run 🏃♂️!!
I used to have standards but the world made me feel some way. Forced my self there. Finally getting the strength to be who I am while I'm still young. Thank you Sir for the wise words.
Be aware that everyone is not relationship material, and the question that should be asked to oneself is am I ready for a relationship am I ready to be a wife
That was my first thought not making marriage a requirement women back in the day women required marriage before anything the women of today seem to have lost that value I'm guilty myself
I was so used to jumping into a relationship sex first that when I got with someone who was potentially husband material I forced myself on him sexually when he really didn't want to go there. The relationship went to hell in a hand basket to say the least all because of sex and what I thought men wanted.
My thought for years is women need to raise their standard, require more from men, and both genders need to exercise the fruit of self control. It's great to hear the staunch biblical opinion of a Godly man! Ty for this segment!!! CGH
I believe God will bless me with a husband who is everything I wanted, needed, plus more than I could even imagine. I will never lower my standards just to have a man. I know I am the prize. I will never chase a man. I'm the catch. If one man doesn't believe it the next man will. Know your worth. Never settle for a man.
I was with someone years ago. that didn't want to be married. I didn't know my value or worth..I honor myself, love myself completely.. Now feeling I am queen.
I think this is one of your best teachings pastor, women need to hear this because this is REAL TALK!!!! Women are not valuing themselves enough and giving away too many benefits. We as women need to understand our value and worth and more importantly we need to love and appreciate what God has given us and know that we are the true gift to a man. Again GREAT TEACHING!!! ❤️
I wanted kids soooo bad. I did make marriage the priority and it was always my first question to any potential husbands “I want kids and marriage…how do you feel about those things. BAM 💥 Married a year later.
You are telling the TRUTH! Some women have truly made it hard for the ladies with standards. I’ve been told by men that I’m tooooo much work! LOL #IHAVESTANDARDSPERIOD
One of my girlfriends and I were talking the other day. After being married twice, I've decided, I'm better off on my own. I'm at a season in my life that I have wonderful friendships, and sex is not important to me, so I'm good. Marriage and men are a lot of work!
Work…..that what I’m fed up with. I see marriage now is a contract to a maid,(cleaning,laundress,cook,accountant,house manager,therapist,ie listening, discussions, comfort, and can have sex with you…..even though you’re tired. So commitment has a whole new meaning for me. I admit…. I’m lazy and to tired for any relationship. I’m good. I’m happy. God know it. (Save and happy)😀🙏🏾😘.
@@robinnewton1061 Yes it is. I make a very good living as a realtor, and I don't wanna marry someone who can't take care of me, better than I can take care of me. I'm enjoying my life by myself right now.
@@earthreign but we end up alone anyway….women normally out live their husband. , not to mention how many marriages where one feel alone, living the same house. Nothing wrong being single. God did not command this…thou shalt be married.. Of course,there is some commandments that are being ignored. Just my opinion. Not forcing it on nobody. Marriage is a beautiful thing. But if you’ll be honest with yourself (me)….. it’s work, and I’m tired. Can’t give anymore. But everyone be blessed if that’s what you want. I respect that….in turn respect mine.
Oh my God...crying all the way through this...57 years old...learned this only two years ago. It's still gut wrenching to hear though. I now date hypergamously. Thank you.
All true! My daughters get upset with me only because I value them more than they do themselves. I pray that they will very soon raise their standards so that they will attract husbands who will recognize & value their true worth, as God designed them. No real man would let a woman of that caliber get away.
I was told by men that I shouldn’t say that I want marriage and a family because it will scare them off. I say “oh well, let them run off cause I want what I want and I’m not settling.”
I loved the way you started this discussion because truth is life is a mirror and just reflects back to us who and what we are. As a fatherless daughter I was subconsciously looking for men who would reject and abandon me. I was also never shown what a good man is and settled for relationships that were borderline toxic, because I was borderline toxic due to all sorts of childhood abuse. Now I'm in the stage of learning to have a love affair with myself 🥰 It's the BEST feeling ever 💖Now I've attracted an amaaaazing partner and marriage is on the cards🙏🏽
Looking forward to this conversation. I’m betting it has something to do with her not knowing her worth and not having standards and boundaries. My next book will be on that topic. 💕
I’m looking forward to this!! If it’s as Krystle is saying. I want to learn more and not be intimidated by some men. I say NO I will not do things!! They tell me why God thinks it’s ok. I tell them it sounds like nothing God would say from reading His word but what you would say to get what you want. Then I’m called bad names!! I want this to stop and learn! I love this Gentleman’s Wisdom!!!!
Absolutely!! She is losingor has lost her self worth!, value and is putting too much focus on him, what he wants, what she must do to please him. What she needs to do is keep God as the head of her life and love and work on herself.
I'm very upfront about being a conservative dater. This is made really clear to men. I don't get into a romantic relationship if marriage isn't the goal. Otherwise, it is strictly platonic, no sex, no frequent spending together like a couple, etc.
I know this is an older video but really impacted me the most was what you said at the end about us interrupting meeting the right one because we’re spending all this time with the wrong person !!! Very impactful and so true. I had to learn to cut those heartstrings, no matter how thin, because O don’t want anything to hinder me meeting the right one.
Thank you Mr Blakes for your consistency. I’m 50 and divorced after 25 years and I wish I had a father figure like you teaching me about men before I got married. I have learnt so much I really appreciate you.
Great counsel! The young ladies today have led the young men think they are the prize. During a small family dinner, my grandson(who is a Christian in his mid 20s) said "we are the prize". Of course his mama and I had to inform him the right woman is the prize. Unfortunately, too many are so aggressive, it overinflate their egos and makes them lazy. Great word pastor!
I have to respectfully disagree, a good man is the prize just like a good woman is a prize. Women want men to provide and protect (which we should) and with the amount of men that do neither the one that will is a prize
@@aarongray1981 A prize is something to pursue...to work hard for...to aim for. Pursuing is what a man does (or is supposed to do). A man who provides, protects, and is the priest of his home is a gift to the woman. In ancient cultures, the man who wanted to marry a particular woman, his family gave the girl's family gifts. The Bible days a "man who finds a wife gets a good thing." So, I respectly disagree. A good woman is the prize. A good man is a gift.🙂
I asked a guy who was my bed buddy why he didn't make me his woman...he said because I didn't MAKE him. All Pastor is saying is soo very true for me. Thank you for this video as I will use this as a constant reference.
Single AND celibate for 30 years...Contentment is a CHOICE.... "Therefore whatever state I'm in, I learn to be content." is what the Apostle Paul states. IT IS NOT A CAKEWALK...but with God's strength 💪 and prayer 🙏it can be done. In the interim...I am learning to LOVE GOD, serve Him, and LOVE ME. Thank you Dr. Blakes.
Sis, his decisions are not your fault. You were with a man who was not commitment-minded, and maybe you didn't vet him specifically for that, but... That doesn't make his decision to never accept the responsibility for your heart, YOUR fault. He is the one who should be held accountable for his own decisions, and his answer just shows he is only too willing to put responsibility for his choices on a woman. That was not a full blown mature man.
@@e.l.lucychiron I hear you but it is partially her fault. He didn’t make her his woman because she didn’t demand it. She was bed buddies with a man and didn’t set a standard for herself. We need to stop saying to each other it’s not your fault. We take blame off of us and put it on a man but we get to choose who we give our body too. If a woman give her body to a man that won’t commit to her , that’s her fault. A man can’t take what you don’t give. The good news is that she learned from that and can now make better choices. I think that’s what we’re all trying to do, make better relationship choices.
A lot of women were and are waiting for their man to asked. Most women assume that's the next step in building a life. I never thought men were not thinking that way.
There is a lot of value in this message by Pastor Blakes. Some of us, black women, have been brainwashed into thinking we should compete like a man does with masculine energy. However, feminine energy is also very powerful. It is inate wisdom we need to get back in touch with. 🥰
You say ( if I weren’t married, I’d still be ok) which Is a solid statement, however I think it’s so easy for people who have been married or are married, to say that.
Yes and frankly I’m tired of it - its like somebody eating a 4 star meal and telling you you should be content with a peanut butter sandwich because “you’re blessed too” - being single decade after decade gets old and weariness sets in- i’m not compromising but its hard - really hard - i’m 48 and all i can do is keep doing me with God
@@overcomerbtboj so true. I’m 48 also, never married, single for decades and hate to hear married people give advice on prolonged singleness. Everyone wants companionship. If you’ve been married for years how can you understand?? It’s so hard to walk alone for decades. Let’s just admit that. Saying it’s hard doesn’t mean I’m desperate or depressed about it but let’s be honest…many black women desiring marriage have a hard time meeting men who value marriage. Let’s talk about why so many women compromise. Most women do not want to be single for the rest of their life. And men know that. I don’t know if marriage will ever happen for me but I’m disappointed that I’ve never experienced a healthy, loving marriage.
@@lcjones4682 the truth is everyone will have a season of singleness either before marriage or after either being widowed or thru divorce-everyone i’ve seen who’s been widowed its like the light bulb finally comes on and they finally get it-“ so this is what its like to sleep alone night after night” year after year I will say that like david who got down and discouraged we have to do what he did-the bible says he started encouraging himself in the Lord and we have to do the same to stay strong emotionally and spiritually- we often as singles don’t have anybody to encourage us so we have to speak the Word over ourselves - after a hard day yesterday just being tired of my circumstances and family problems i got my bible out this morning and just began talking to myself with scripture reminding myself of God’s promises and plans for my life- we can’t give in to the oppression of the enemy and we have to tune out other voices too - worldly voices- in closing i will say i get lonely for companionship but i will NOT compromise- i have a friend going thru a divorce right now because her husband repeatedly cheated on her during their marriage- she finally said enough and left- we may get lonely for companionship but better that than the fallout from a bad marriage or relationship - be blessed and highly favored 🌈👑❤️
@@overcomerbtboj I agree with you. But some of us will never experience marriage. That’s not the same as someone who has experienced it and is now divorced or widowed. Some of us have yet to experience a loving, healthy romantic relationship and may never experience. Yes we have to tune out the world and speak encouragement but some days it’s hard. It’s hard to desire a thing that may not be God’s will for your life. Most everyone desires romantic companionship even if they don’t desire marriage. I know people who have zero desire to marry but still desire a romantic partner. That’s not a desire you can wish away or pray away as I’ve tried and still have a strong desire. It too me a long time to get to the place of not compromising and I know people who did settle and are in unhealthy marriages. They feel that’s better than being alone for the rest of their life. I don’t judge them for that because you have to be strong and confident in God to continue walk in singleness despite your strong desire to be partnered with someone. I just think there should be some acknowledgment that you can grieve over a thing you desire but never received. Many women had to grieve over never birthing a child. Some of us will grieve over never getting married. You grieve and then embrace the plan God does have for your life.
@@lcjones4682 i don’t believe God lets us burn for something that is not His will- that’s just my personal opinion- some of this is bad advice/ theology from well intentioned christians- look to God’s Word and seek His answer on the matter of marriage for you- there are many many scriptures too many to list that talk about God being a good Father Who loves to bless His children with the desires of their heart- i will come back with some scriptures that will encourage you to get answers from His word and not man- i have done in depth detailed study on the matter (marriage and singleness) and lifetime singleness is never enforced by God- people who do not desire marriage are few and far between- if you desire to be married God wants to bless you with a mate- God is for you not against you
Oh brother RC!...you have saved the lives and futures of every woman who’s intelligent and blessed enough to have listened to your godly counsel and heeded your advise!
Some men just want room/bed mate and a housemate but not want a serious relationship maybe because they are immature or they are not truly in love with that woman and that woman allow that kind relationship.
Preach! I will continue to keep my standards. Man or no man. I am valuable, and the man who sees that will be the one who gets me. Keep preaching the facts pastor!
I know my position and I work it well while allowing him to be the man God ordained him to be in his position! I know from my core that I’m valuable and not desperate for anything or anyone!! To God be the Glory!
I got married recently to someone who I wouldn’t even have thought I would marry. Once I gave up looking for a certain type I just allowed God to bring him in my path and the prayer I prayed helped as well. Ladies it’s possible.
Happy for you!
The Most High God bless you and your husband to have a strong and godly marriage. All the best to you both.
Congratulations!
Thank u
Of course it’s possible. Everyone has their time.
I choose RC Blakes over Kevin Samuels any day!!!!
Any day
Kevin is the man, he has over 1 million subscribers and he is NOT the enemy. If you want to point fingers at a man right now, look up Minister Jap and FitXFearless...they have a special "Kind" of strong dislike for women. FYI
@@earthreign I hear you sis but he has mysoganistic tendencies and elements of disrespect about him. He needs to do better. He helps women but bashes them too and devalues them at times. Saying all this listening from south Africa.
@@Somegirl3602 I have to blame the women. Why do you come on his show to embarrass one self. They say things like " I have degrees and the man I was dating is not on my level". And these women are baby mommas. Guess what men are allowed to choose who they like also.
Women need to start acting the part. A man does not care about your qualifications. Choose better stop having children and stop being committed to man without being his wife. HAVE STANDARDS!!!!!
Most clowns disappear when you say you wont have sex until you get married
And that’s a good thing👍
True. And in modern culture, sex before marriage is the norm.
@ M - So just how really STUPID are the OTHER clowns ?
Let them disappear.😀
Yes! The wrong ones go away!🙌🏽
"Don't view it as rejection, view it as protection". Well said Pastor.
Exactly I get offended now to think they can talk me out my clothes,I heard every line and they all are old ones, the older guys are the worst they wanna feel like they pimpin.
Absolutely! Many men that have walked away, years later when we receive word of their well doing or not, we thank god for the blessing and protection of getting that burden off of us.
I say God protecting me from heartbreak and misery ! I've been single for 15 years now...
i think another reason why we fail to recognize husbands is because our fathers also weren’t good husbands either…. we get confused on what to look for and what marriage is supposed to be like. i’m blessed to be learning now
the same here
Yes!
Exactly. One who had a good father, who was a good husband to his wife, has an example of what a husband is. We who have had an abusive or neglective father (or both) just fall in love with anybody who would give a ittle bit of extra but then feel somehow ok with the abuse and /or neglect. Realizing the abuse you've been through is a very important step into a new life.
@Jeffrey Green stereotypes
Yes!!!
I'm Happily single .. I Live a Great Life ... If The Lord sends me my King , that would be Great!!! ...if I remain Single for the rest of my life ... I won't lose any sleep over it. I'm still going to be happy, Serve and Honor The Lord!!! ...Travel the world and still Live a Great Life!!
Yes ma’am. I love this so much. 🙏🏼🥰
Agree!!!
💯💯💯
Yasss sista I’m with you on that…Queen standards 👑
Amen we know or worth
SHE’S A GREAT LADY, WHY DON’T THEY MARRY HER?
1. THE WOMAN NEVER MADE MARRIAGE A REQUIREMENT
2. THE WOMAN DELIVERS BENEFITS WITHOUT COMMITMENT
3. THE WOMAN’S DESPERATION FOR A MAN REPELS WOULD BE HUSBANDS
4. THE WOMAN IS ATTRACTED TO FEMININE MEN WHO DON’T COMMIT- Her type is her worse enemy.
5. THE WOMAN MAY NOT ALLOW SPACE FOR A MASCULINE MAN TO PLAY A ROLE IN HER LIFE- A husband type needs a woman who lets him function in the masculine role.
Great talk. I enjoyed it. "Giving time to someone who doesn't deserve it -- the truth.
Hopefully, you can do a session on Kevin Samuels' messaging to the community.
Many women today are extreme feminists. The attitude (spirit) that’s being served in society (media, social media, professional circles, etc) is “I don’t need a man!” And...many women are presenting MASCULINE ENERGY instead of feminine.
Great word Pastor Blakes! Continue depositing wisdom jewels in our soul-bank. #HighValueWoman
Brother @RCBlakes,Jr ...I’m addicted to godly wisdom and that’s why I’m addicted to your channel!
@@AmahreTheRose exactly sister..it comes from men like RC here telling women to set standards so high that no man can reach. All of sudden you have a women who thinks she is too good for men
@@alldaysteviej3134 WRONG!! Your response sounds like the "entitled" minded dudes he mentions in this video. Which you obviously didn't watch or purposely ignored the several times when he stated women should fall into their feminine roles. There's no such thing as the standard being too high as it relates to this teaching. The standard can be looked at like a luxury car lets say a Bentley. Most would say the price tag is "too high" but the reality is those folk just can't afford it. The standard may just be out of your current reach.
Judge a man by his character not his looks.
AMEN on this. Had to reject one that was 7 years younger than I. Saw red flags at the starting gates
Sis yaas👏👏👏👏
That's true, character is very important 👏🏾
I just literally told to guy that in these comments.
Amen.
"Sex ain't supposed to be free". That's a word right there, Pastor.
So on point, right!!
I been married 2 years to the man of my dreams but I had to take a deep look within & realize his high value is his integrity & character MORE than money....he treat me like a queen & while dating him I knew that marriage was my goal, he agreed & we both didn't waste each other's time....we planned our wedding
how awesome queen
AMAZING!!!!!....CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!
MANY BLESSINGS ALWAYS....💖🙏🥰👑
That's why I don't have a type. I have standards and morals.
Same!
So if they're big with a twisted mouth can't read & ugly as all get out but has morals & standards...thats the one for you?
@@sus-tw2ls 😂😂😂 a twisted mouth ahahhahah
Absolutely darlin 🥰
@T Tatum lol...exactly... we all low key have a preference
So many of us women go into relationships with our hearts out and our eyes closed. We are so intent on showing what a great catch we are that we are not using our discernment to figure out if the man is worth our time.
You said that!
Yeah I find myself talking about how well I can cook and run a household
@@justthoughts8872 I grew up being conditioned by my mom that this is what men are interested in----its basically a "What can I do for you ?" mentality
Truth!!!! Totally exposed!
Yeah! Damn right!
It makes me sad that my mother will probably never see me walk down the aisle but I would rather be single than marry the wrong person 💁🏾♀️
What's more important is your path, not the aisle.
All things are possible through Jesus Christ who strengthens you.
No need to feel sad! All will be well!
@ Brittany I love your comment. Haste is not a virtue. 💯
Amen to this.🙌❤
It’s not about why won’t they marry “The woman” necessarily, it’s why aren’t “Men valuing marriage anymore.?
It is both because as women we gotta hold a standard. Some Men don’t value Marriage because they are getting too much cookies. Bishop Blake is saying that women should stop giving your body to these clowns that I call themselves a man. Date a Real Mature man that is willing to Marry You not playing games.
I'm a woman- let's be honest. Its "Why aren't women requiring marriage?"
@@ButterCookie1984 yeap we have to keep our legs closed and tame that thang!
@@katrinabeatty4372 yesssss
Too many people trying to copy Oprah and Steadman
I will always be married! I got married at 18 and I'm 62 now! Never played games with men my father taught me that as a young girl! If anything happens to my husband I believe God will send another one to love and protect me!
that'
that's awesome!! Your dad was a good man!
jesus loves and protects me
Wow ❤
KEY POINTS:
1. Never made marriage a requirement.
2. You deliver the product without price.
3. Men sense your disconnection with
your own worth/value.
4. The woman is attracting men who are
not mature enough to commit.
5. You may not allow space for the man
to function in the masculine.
Yes and Yes Amen!!!✋🏿✋🏿✋🏿✋🏿✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾✊🏾💯💯💯💯💯No cow, milk or privileges for free!!! We queens have to know our worth as God ordained it👐🏿🙌🏿👑👑!! Amen🔥🔥🔥
Thank you.
@Janella Murphy yes indeed!!! God bless you. 🙂🙏
@alicia nicole you're welcome. God bless you. 🙂🙏
l think l messed up🤦🏾♀️
He's a team player. He's a provider. He honors you. Shows chivalry. Doesn't disrespect you. A man that comfort, provide safety, protects you.
AMEN👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👐🏿🙏🏾🙏🏾👐🏿🙌🏿🙌🏿👐🏿!!!!
They are out here ladies!!!!! Trust
@@junegrace508 No, they are not.
I know a man like that. He takes damn good care of his family. Whatever his woman wants he's right there for it. He makes it his duty to make sure his family is happy
@@nofybn7794 there are plenty of good men all around us. Change your mindset. It’s all based on what you think you deserve.
"Sex ain't supposed to be free" say it again Rev!
Come on!
What's the cost,if it's not suppose to be free❓
@@ga9100 commitment under the covenant of marriage before GOD!
most black males are not husband material a lot of them never had fathers to show them how to be husbands. 1 Corinthians 7:32
Sex is not supposed to be free. Even a prostitute charges for services.
We used to know this stuff. What has happened? Looking back, all my Aunts, Uncles, cousins, and older sisters and brothers were married. My mom and dad started married till death. My church family.Most of the adults were married. I can remember two men standing up in church asking for prayer to find a wife. Don’t see that anymore . I’m 45 not 100. We have forgotten who we are. I wonder how this happened?
That’s why I’m single because I’m not a “fun boy” ! Thank You Pastor for another educational video…
Are you looking for something specific?
@travism3307 😂amen
You are a rear kind. I get disappointed Coz it feels like whoever I meet, ends up with someone else and wishes me well
What are you looking for....May be I can learn a thing too
So guilty of being with someone who never wanted to be married. Wasn’t him it was me for accepting less than what I deserved. I didn’t know my worth. Now…..Queen conscious now.
Me too now we are learning going forward at the top we only go higher from here like Pastor Blake's says
Omggg Same here! 10 years & still nothing, empty promises..hanging on to deferred hope 😔giving away all of my 20s. But I'm conscious now!! By the grace of god!
I’m with you there is Inter. Took me 35years to find this truth! Had to get rid of that Jezebel spirit he passed on to me. Pastor RC helped me realize this by listening to him on RUclips. Thank you Lord for pastor RC speaking so honestly. Wish I would have found him many years ago. Gave the creep the best years of my life. Alcohol was an issue. But God is never late. FREE AT LAST!
Yes, wish I had this teaching in my young life. Let’s pass it on to our young Queens.
If we don’t require marriage it will never happen x
Some Narcissists have learnt to say exactly those words "I am not looking for a girlfriend, I am looking for a wife." While he has a whole old wife hidden back at home in Houston and a baby mama in Rural Kenya waiting on his promise to marry her. I would say even when a man says those words, it is better for a woman to take her time to further discern exactly what kind of man he is ...and yes, intuition will always perk up when something about the man is amiss.
Sis I meet those we need to be careful!!
💯💯💯
Just got delivered from a so called man of God who’ said this same thing, found out he was on multiple dating sites and showing woman his penis!! He’s 41!!! God removed me with facts and showed me everything, I was delivered! God protects me!
Lmao. Been there
Lol! @brenda yes. In Kenya lol. But I've learnt to close my ears and open my eyes. Narcissists are word professionals but poor in matching with action.
THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOD! Please LIKE it and share it.
You can take this two ways but my spin on it is relational to my situation. I'm always getting asked Why don't you have a boyfriend why aren't you married?
I have many suitors but they're afraid of me and those that dare come forward once they get to know me they run away. That's ok bc I'm not pursuing any man and if God takes someone out of your life it's to protect you from that person.
Second spin, I believe these men want an easy prey someone they can have fun with and no commitments. They don't want to fall in love and want someone easy not a relationship they have to work hard at. These men have wounds and create dysfunctional relationships. They do not marry these women and if they do it's bc its familiar then they cheat on them.
Looking forward to it. I sho want to know.😏
You are talking good Bishop🙌🏾
It was. THANK YOU..
🙌🏾
I was in love with someone who God had not chose for me so when i left him i prayed, i fell at the altar, i had a deep conversation with Jesus and 5 months later God gave me the honest desire of my heart. We have been married for going on 20 years. Patience,Gid did a good thing.
“You teach people how to treat you, by your own self love.” Thanks RC
Some women don’t make marriage a requirement by behaving like a wife.
Cause they’re in the “land of make-believe”
I'm confused by your phrasing. Can you please clarify your statement?
@@BL3SSed-Bliss I think she mean some women Cook every night, wash his clothes, play step mom, live with a man have babies etc n make believe they’re married instead of actually requiring the man to marry her. So some men rather that n feel she more easy going n he can keep his money to pay for his car n take other females out lol
@@Lele-oe2xf
I appreciate that, Sis; it was terribly confusing.
Basically, she is simply parroting to underscore one of the points that is said/made in this video; which is don’t play a role that you are not “paid” for. Don’t assume responsibilities that are not within your title. Essentially, the eons-old adage about 🐄 and free🥛.
Others believe that you must _show/prove_ your wife-ability in order to be “chosen”\pre-approved. I needed to be certain that it was _not that_ point that she was making, given the wording/sentence structure.
Bless 💚
In house girlfriends for yearssss 🤦🏾♀️
I’m keeping my standard and not breaking it for NO man… I know my WORTH.👑
Amen💯💖
AMEN!!!!!!🙌🏿👐🏿🙏🏾👑👑👑💜💜
“Women tend to submit to men who won’t commit.” 👈🏽👏🏽💯
This i don't agree with. We tend to submit to men who seem worth submitting to. And those men who are deceivers, and make themselves seem that way, then don't commit.
I’ve never understood why many women find it difficult to get married. Don’t compromise. Make it clear from day one that you want to marry, don’t be afraid. Always be wife material, don’t be common or cheap.
It’s been looked at as difficult simply because many women feel the need to win over a man by jumping through hoops to get him. That’s what is really difficult.
Then you don't understand much about psychology.
I don't think it is difficult to get married. Most men are not marriage material that is the real issue. The majority of women I see are married to very mediocre men so that tells me that pickings are slim.
"You just ain't had no daddy to tell you how that goes down." People are only starting to realize that both boys AND girls need their daddy ever-present in their life.
I FELT THAT
Yup❤ 💯
“He greasing up his body with your product and don’t have a job” that took me out. Profound word. God bless you Sir.
Screaminggggg 😂😂😂
Ooh I had one of those... except it was his sister's product. He shared a bathroom with her in a flat which was owned by their parents... And then I wondered why he expected ME to pay at the movies.
Hope all is well with you and your family 🙏 Thank u 🙏
@@josephrobertson4106 Thank you
Praise God brother 🙏
When you have had a real awesome and loving husband for over 20 years and now as a widow are beginning dating at 50, this reality seems further away, so many hurt, broken and toxic men out here…. You can tell a lot of them have never been made aware of real manhood. IJS
Very true.....
Yep I see it a lot too. Cause I know I am not messing up out here . So I’m like what’s the issue and they love hanging out with people with drama and if you are not about drama they back away from you as if being a good person is a problem
Hi Shelina, my name is Shelina! And you are so right. I find that trusting God and communicating your desires is key in this "AGE OF DATING"
Its amazing how bitter some of these men are. A lot of them are following the Red Pill concept. Just crazy.
CHOICES, AND THE WOMEN HAVE BEEN EASY, THEY TALK OPENLY. WOMEN WE NEED TO CHANGE.
Wow! I literally tell people who ask me “Do you date? Are you dating?” My response is always shocking… I date to marry… not to get a meal, have sex, hang out or just to date… I date with the intention of marriage and if I’m not interested in getting married then… why would I date…. ? It always takes them a minute to be like that makes sense. SMH preach Sir. Preach.
Tiffany Ts: yes, though it may take some time of dating before one gets to know each other enough to know whether marriage may be possible.
My answer as well
@Tiffany... I to date with a purpose. It amazes me so many "Christian Men" want you to compromise your morals & values to be with them. I have a talk show and have literally heard men say, If I can't test drive, I ain't buying. I have been teased, ridiculed because I stick to my standards. At this point, I asked God to get some dust and fashion me a husband. LOL!!!!
I Came of age through the" hook up "culture. When having a friend with benefits is celebrated & encouraged . , I honestly didn't know how to ask that question, the marriage question to a man. That was a terrifying question for me to ask!. Omg I thought that would run them away. I was conditioned to think, that if I continued giving him all the best of me ,that eventually it would happen. I hoped and waited out of ignorance. I submitted to nothing.I honestly didn't know better than that for so long .I had no one giving me this wisdom you are giving me now at 38 and ,3 children later . I'm hurt and disappointed but I realize I am the cause of my own heartbreak and I accept that I am enough . I'm here today listening to learn more about myself and to heal and not repeat this toxic pattern ever again.
I salute you. Thanks for sharing.
❤️💜❤️
People look at me quizzically, asking WHY HAVE YOU NEVER MARRIED? I reply, I’ve never been divorced either. 😉 It’s funny seeing a divorced person’s reaction, light bulb moment 💡 😅
That's a goooood answer!
This! I used to say I don’t want to be married by 30 and divorced by 40. I’m 34 years old now and I’m thankful that I am single and childless. Dating divorced men is a turn off. These people are coming with the baggage from a previous marriage, kids, alimony payments, child support payments etc. no thanks 😑
Love this answer!!! Will use it next time cuz I get that ALL the time
I was having a hard time trying to put this very point of view in to words-so little was said but so much understood
Thank You!
...in addition-so it's better to be cheated on, beated on and lied too by your husband?🤔
Pastor I don’t care if you are “fussing” or speaking like a dad because this is so good! Keep it coming 🔥🔥
Right. Keep speaking the truth.
Some women prefer not to marry after having a few broken and failed relationships
So true, time and time again
That’s ok too
Yes, you see how cruel a man can really be. I'm in no rush to be married anymore. I need a good relationship with someone who wants to be in a good relationship first. Let alone marriage
Facts 💯
That's where I'm at MsReeRee65, I'm fine just traveling the world, building my business and having a companion, I don't desire marriage.
Sorry you can’t be friends with a man you are Attracted to or he is attracted to you. There is an alternative motive there and makes it comfortable. I rather move on I can’t be friends with any ex.
@@LeasTimelyServices ya you will go in the same cycle hook up and not move on. If a man is for you he will propose and commit not just use you for sex! I have enough respect to have no interest in being friends with any ex sorry.
Ulterior
Ikr if it is mutual
This really opened my eyes today! I was raised by my father and brothers as an independent strong woman, but it left me lacking because I didn't know how to stand in my femininity and let my man provide for me. I feel like I always need to be helping or fixing the house like my father taught us, but that's not what a man wants or needs from me as their woman. Thank you for bringing this beautiful message to us all. God bless you!
Pastor, you are telling the truth. I came into this realization 6 mos ago, and when I was done with the foolishness, I met my King 5 mos ago. He’s planning to propose next weekend. ❤❤❤
Their not marrying her because she lowered her standards out of fear of being alone and dying alone basically...not truly knowing ur worth is a very bad thing... nothing wrong with being boujee and down to earth at the same time.... personal growth and maturity takes time sometimes in life
“The bed is the fastest way away from the altar” This is a great Message and my second time viewing it! I will continue to wait on God and enjoy embracing my singleness! I love me!
I don't agree! I had relations with my husband before marriage! Many marriages end in divorce even so called Christians not to mention pastors cheating on their wives!
Bishop Blake's, there are no thumbs down. Real seekers of the gospel are willing to hear the truth.
Thank you 🙏🏽
Amen!!!
A lot of women on here bragging about being single and loving it. Are you celibate??? THAT’S the real challenge. Heck-I can be single for the rest of my life too and have sex whenever I feel and want it. The key is in staying sanctified for the Lord and wait on Him☝🏼 to provide the husband.
Rightttt… single & still sleeping around outside of marriage
Exactly! I’m waiting on the Lord for my husband now. I believe He will connect us. I hope so
Stop swearing.
Yes Lord don’t submit to men that won’t commit🙏🏽💯
This is very helpful. A lot of times we woman are trying to prove that we are not a "gold digger" or user. Another thing is that being single all of my life, I had no choice but to be the "independent " woman, because if you don't work, you don't eat, you don't have. It's not that we didn't want a man, we just didn't have that relationship or man that provided for us, so we had to do it ourselves. We want our men, our husband, our boaz but hear other women say if you don't do this or that, someone else will. So many women walk around with they breast out, butt practically exposed and we are made to feel forced to conform, to give up our morals and even our "cookies", so a man can see us or even desire us. We are made to feel that just being ourselves is not good enough so we need to conform.
It’s about realising women are being hoodwinked and doing all that will not make you more attractive to any man; if you have to do all that you are trying to bag the wrong men.
@@princesstiffanynews Yeah, but so many are even in the church
"All" your life??? Single...
@@carolyneasley8980 Well, single is unmarried. A boyfriend her and there doesn't really count.
@@misssterling3094 ok understood.
I will NEVER settle for less! I deserve the BEST!
Indeed, and they think it’s strange when you tell them no, I’m preparing to be someone’s wife.. oh they don’t like that, and your right- it weaves out those unworthy and keeps me protected from those with hidden intentions.. thank you god!
weeds out
This helped me because that's exactly how I was just went with the flow. Didn't realize I was doing that until my last relationship. He always spoke about marriage and finally he said he never talk about marriage and I told him I would love to get married but I'm not desperate but I have a 2yr window of engagement then marriage. He made it seem like he wanted what I wanted. Then we reached beyond my 2yr mark and he said I don't think that's what God wants me to do right now. So I chose me that was 3yrs ago. I am content. I'm ready for my set man
I can relate
There are some women who actually enjoy the single life. I, myself, value my space. I am 29...marriage is not a priority for me at the moment
I agree pastor but some men if we say no to sex because they usually are not emotional will pass up the quality women. For the women giving it away for free. So what it boils down to they have to desire the Elusive and Exclusive
Lady enough, to chase her and committ and marry her. That's the only solution meantime we have to be lonely for masculine company because we keep saying no in order to get him to say Yes
Its a sad game. But im not being used im trying to meet an old fashioned gentleman. THANKS GREAT ADVICE
You are so right! I wish someone had spoken to me like this when I was 15. it could have been my father, my uncles, or anyone close to me. Not even my mother nor my only two aunts spoke to me about this and in this way when I really needed it. Not one iperson n my family addressed the issue and sadly they all loved God. God bless you R.C., for giving your time and energy to tell the real truth no matter what!
I have the same wish. I do all I can to guide my kids now as well as myself. I wish RC was around me 30 years ago ❤️
I'm amazed to at how no one spoke up about anything money relationships I mean nothing Lord bless our forefathers I'm done cause I just lay in my bed and be like wow it's like a dumb muted spirit took over there tongue
Pastor, not only to your first point that most women do not state their position right away, oftentimes that is due to women believing that they should wait on the man to pursue and lead in that area. What's unfortunate about that in many ways is that while women wait for the man to take the lead, women fall prey to giving up her standards in silent hope that he will step up. Actually this is your second point! With 18 days remaining to my wedding 💒 day, I am STILL at the point where if, for WHATEVER reason, that day does not happen, I am firm in my mind that God has indeed promised His very best. Women need to raise their standards and stick to them and TOTALLY trust God in the procrss. It will be well worth it in the long run 🏃♂️!!
Please...you tell em what you want, they're gone. No more real mature responsible men out here.
@@sus-tw2ls let them GO!!!
I used to have standards but the world made me feel some way. Forced my self there. Finally getting the strength to be who I am while I'm still young. Thank you Sir for the wise words.
Be aware that everyone is not relationship material, and the question that should be asked to oneself is am I ready for a relationship am I ready to be a wife
That was my first thought not making marriage a requirement women back in the day women required marriage before anything the women of today seem to have lost that value I'm guilty myself
Self love is priceless
I was so used to jumping into a relationship sex first that when I got with someone who was potentially husband material I forced myself on him sexually when he really didn't want to go there. The relationship went to hell in a hand basket to say the least all because of sex and what I thought men wanted.
Same but u live and learn
My thought for years is women need to raise their standard, require more from men, and both genders need to exercise the fruit of self control. It's great to hear the staunch biblical opinion of a Godly man! Ty for this segment!!! CGH
I believe God will bless me with a husband who is everything I wanted, needed, plus more than I could even imagine. I will never lower my standards just to have a man. I know I am the prize. I will never chase a man. I'm the catch. If one man doesn't believe it the next man will. Know your worth. Never settle for a man.
I was with someone years ago. that didn't want to be married. I didn't know my value or worth..I honor myself, love myself completely.. Now feeling I am queen.
I think this is one of your best teachings pastor, women need to hear this because this is REAL TALK!!!! Women are not valuing themselves enough and giving away too many benefits. We as women need to understand our value and worth and more importantly we need to love and appreciate what God has given us and know that we are the true gift to a man. Again GREAT TEACHING!!! ❤️
The Most High getting me prepared for my husband. Can't wait to see you because we're to be a team for the creator.
Beautiful may God bless you
Me too!!
“Men need to do good to feel good and Women need to feel good to do good”!!
No truer words have been spoken!!🙏🏽
Peace and Blessings 🌺
I wanted kids soooo bad. I did make marriage the priority and it was always my first question to any potential husbands “I want kids and marriage…how do you feel about those things. BAM 💥 Married a year later.
You are telling the TRUTH! Some women have truly made it hard for the ladies with standards. I’ve been told by men that I’m tooooo much work! LOL #IHAVESTANDARDSPERIOD
But you have peace of mind and that's alright...
High maintenance is good. Imo
He got a whole wife without a contract...... why should he commit. Pastor Blakes.🤔 (pastor preach for those in the back that didn't hear it!)
Yeah...why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free...👀🙄😣🤔
Value without price.
One of my girlfriends and I were talking the other day. After being married twice, I've decided, I'm better off on my own. I'm at a season in my life that I have wonderful friendships, and sex is not important to me, so I'm good. Marriage and men are a lot of work!
Right!👍
Work…..that what I’m fed up with. I see marriage now is a contract to a maid,(cleaning,laundress,cook,accountant,house manager,therapist,ie listening, discussions, comfort, and can have sex with you…..even though you’re tired. So commitment has a whole new meaning for me. I admit…. I’m lazy and to tired for any relationship. I’m good. I’m happy. God know it. (Save and happy)😀🙏🏾😘.
@@robinnewton1061 Yes it is. I make a very good living as a realtor, and I don't wanna marry someone who can't take care of me, better than I can take care of me. I'm enjoying my life by myself right now.
@@earthreign but we end up alone anyway….women normally out live their husband. , not to mention how many marriages where one feel alone, living the same house. Nothing wrong being single. God did not command this…thou shalt be married.. Of course,there is some commandments that are being ignored. Just my opinion. Not forcing it on nobody. Marriage is a beautiful thing. But if you’ll be honest with yourself (me)….. it’s work, and I’m tired. Can’t give anymore. But everyone be blessed if that’s what you want. I respect that….in turn respect mine.
@@earthreign but I agree with what your saying also.
This was probably my favorite video because I’ve been going about this all wrong.
Oh my God...crying all the way through this...57 years old...learned this only two years ago. It's still gut wrenching to hear though. I now date hypergamously. Thank you.
Your Mr. Right I’d out their for you
🤣🤣🤣
Trusting God for the man He is preparing just for me.
All true! My daughters get upset with me only because I value them more than they do themselves. I pray that they will very soon raise their standards so that they will attract husbands who will recognize & value their true worth, as God designed them. No real man would let a woman of that caliber get away.
Absolutely, we teach folks how to treat us. Come on with it..
Yes yes yes .....
I was told by men that I shouldn’t say that I want marriage and a family because it will scare them off. I say “oh well, let them run off cause I want what I want and I’m not settling.”
Real Talk right there!!💯💯💯
He’s not greasing his skin with all your products and doesn’t have a job. I’m screaminggggg 😂😂😂. That’s facts Bishop lol. Really and truly
"What does a husband look like" pastor this should be your next discussion because sadly I don't know.
Pastor Blake's is throwing wisdom gems out here left and right tonight. "You giving away value without price.... you giving away Cartier free!"🙌👏👌🤗
I loved the way you started this discussion because truth is life is a mirror and just reflects back to us who and what we are. As a fatherless daughter I was subconsciously looking for men who would reject and abandon me. I was also never shown what a good man is and settled for relationships that were borderline toxic, because I was borderline toxic due to all sorts of childhood abuse. Now I'm in the stage of learning to have a love affair with myself 🥰 It's the BEST feeling ever 💖Now I've attracted an amaaaazing partner and marriage is on the cards🙏🏽
Congratulations Victoria English
Thank you for sharing this
I wished someone would tell me this great talking 25 years ago.God Bless You !!!!
The Requirement!💝👫
Sadly, 99% of women want marriage but yet we have to vocalize it. Some women are scared they will run the man off.
That was good. I didn't know it's ok to say openly I want to be married.
Dear heart you can say whatever you want. It is YOUR body that is the gift.
Looking forward to this conversation. I’m betting it has something to do with her not knowing her worth and not having standards and boundaries. My next book will be on that topic. 💕
You are prophetic.😂
I’m looking forward to this!! If it’s as Krystle is saying. I want to learn more and not be intimidated by some men. I say NO I will not do things!! They tell me why God thinks it’s ok.
I tell them it sounds like nothing God would say from reading His word but what you would say to get what you want.
Then I’m called bad names!! I want this to stop and learn! I love this Gentleman’s Wisdom!!!!
Absolutely!! She is losingor has lost her self worth!, value and is putting too much focus on him, what he wants, what she must do to please him. What she needs to do is keep God as the head of her life and love and work on herself.
My thoughts exactly
@@RCBlakesJr. 😂😂😂
You hit the nail on the head several times. You bring awareness to many traditional principles that society has made untraditional.
I'm very upfront about being a conservative dater. This is made really clear to men. I don't get into a romantic relationship if marriage isn't the goal. Otherwise, it is strictly platonic, no sex, no frequent spending together like a couple, etc.
I know this is an older video but really impacted me the most was what you said at the end about us interrupting meeting the right one because we’re spending all this time with the wrong person !!! Very impactful and so true. I had to learn to cut those heartstrings, no matter how thin, because O don’t want anything to hinder me meeting the right one.
Thank you Mr Blakes for your consistency. I’m 50 and divorced after 25 years and I wish I had a father figure like you teaching me about men before I got married. I have learnt so much I really appreciate you.
Great counsel! The young ladies today have led the young men think they are the prize. During a small family dinner, my grandson(who is a Christian in his mid 20s) said "we are the prize". Of course his mama and I had to inform him the right woman is the prize. Unfortunately, too many are so aggressive, it overinflate their egos and makes them lazy.
Great word pastor!
I have to respectfully disagree, a good man is the prize just like a good woman is a prize. Women want men to provide and protect (which we should) and with the amount of men that do neither the one that will is a prize
@@aarongray1981 I 💯 agree to this
@@aarongray1981 A prize is something to pursue...to work hard for...to aim for. Pursuing is what a man does (or is supposed to do).
A man who provides, protects, and is the priest of his home is a gift to the woman. In ancient cultures, the man who wanted to marry a particular woman, his family gave the girl's family gifts.
The Bible days a "man who finds a wife gets a good thing."
So, I respectly disagree. A good woman is the prize. A good man is a gift.🙂
@@aarongray1981 RC is basically referencing the proverb. He that findeth a wife, findeth a treasure ( a good thing).It's biblical, brother.
I asked a guy who was my bed buddy why he didn't make me his woman...he said because I didn't MAKE him.
All Pastor is saying is soo very true for me. Thank you for this video as I will use this as a constant reference.
Single AND celibate for 30 years...Contentment is a CHOICE....
"Therefore whatever state I'm in, I learn to be content." is what the Apostle Paul states.
IT IS NOT A CAKEWALK...but with God's strength 💪 and prayer 🙏it can be done. In the interim...I am learning to LOVE GOD, serve Him, and LOVE ME. Thank you Dr. Blakes.
Sis, his decisions are not your fault. You were with a man who was not commitment-minded, and maybe you didn't vet him specifically for that, but... That doesn't make his decision to never accept the responsibility for your heart, YOUR fault. He is the one who should be held accountable for his own decisions, and his answer just shows he is only too willing to put responsibility for his choices on a woman. That was not a full blown mature man.
Wow.... ouch. Unforgettable lesson rite there👌🏾
@@e.l.lucychiron I hear you but it is partially her fault. He didn’t make her his woman because she didn’t demand it. She was bed buddies with a man and didn’t set a standard for herself. We need to stop saying to each other it’s not your fault. We take blame off of us and put it on a man but we get to choose who we give our body too. If a woman give her body to a man that won’t commit to her , that’s her fault. A man can’t take what you don’t give. The good news is that she learned from that and can now make better choices. I think that’s what we’re all trying to do, make better relationship choices.
A lot of women were and are waiting for their man to asked. Most women assume that's the next step in building a life. I never thought men were not thinking that way.
There is a lot of value in this message by Pastor Blakes. Some of us, black women, have been brainwashed into thinking we should compete like a man does with masculine energy. However, feminine energy is also very powerful. It is inate wisdom we need to get back in touch with. 🥰
You say ( if I weren’t married, I’d still be ok) which Is a solid statement, however I think it’s so easy for people who have been married or are married, to say that.
Yes and frankly I’m tired of it - its like somebody eating a 4 star meal and telling you you should be content with a peanut butter sandwich because “you’re blessed too” - being single decade after decade gets old and weariness sets in- i’m not compromising but its hard - really hard - i’m 48 and all i can do is keep doing me with God
@@overcomerbtboj so true. I’m 48 also, never married, single for decades and hate to hear married people give advice on prolonged singleness. Everyone wants companionship. If you’ve been married for years how can you understand?? It’s so hard to walk alone for decades. Let’s just admit that. Saying it’s hard doesn’t mean I’m desperate or depressed about it but let’s be honest…many black women desiring marriage have a hard time meeting men who value marriage. Let’s talk about why so many women compromise. Most women do not want to be single for the rest of their life. And men know that. I don’t know if marriage will ever happen for me but I’m disappointed that I’ve never experienced a healthy, loving marriage.
@@lcjones4682 the truth is everyone will have a season of singleness either before marriage or after either being widowed or thru divorce-everyone i’ve seen who’s been widowed its like the light bulb finally comes on and they finally get it-“ so this is what its like to sleep alone night after night” year after year
I will say that like david who got down and discouraged we have to do what he did-the bible says he started encouraging himself in the Lord and we have to do the same to stay strong emotionally and spiritually- we often as singles don’t have anybody to encourage us so we have to speak the Word over ourselves - after a hard day yesterday just being tired of my circumstances and family problems i got my bible out this morning and just began talking to myself with scripture reminding myself of God’s promises and plans for my life- we can’t give in to the oppression of the enemy and we have to tune out other voices too - worldly voices- in closing i will say i get lonely for companionship but i will NOT compromise- i have a friend going thru a divorce right now because her husband repeatedly cheated on her during their marriage- she finally said enough and left- we may get lonely for companionship but better that than the fallout from a bad marriage or relationship - be blessed and highly favored 🌈👑❤️
@@overcomerbtboj I agree with you. But some of us will never experience marriage. That’s not the same as someone who has experienced it and is now divorced or widowed. Some of us have yet to experience a loving, healthy romantic relationship and may never experience. Yes we have to tune out the world and speak encouragement but some days it’s hard. It’s hard to desire a thing that may not be God’s will for your life. Most everyone desires romantic companionship even if they don’t desire marriage. I know people who have zero desire to marry but still desire a romantic partner. That’s not a desire you can wish away or pray away as I’ve tried and still have a strong desire. It too me a long time to get to the place of not compromising and I know people who did settle and are in unhealthy marriages. They feel that’s better than being alone for the rest of their life. I don’t judge them for that because you have to be strong and confident in God to continue walk in singleness despite your strong desire to be partnered with someone. I just think there should be some acknowledgment that you can grieve over a thing you desire but never received. Many women had to grieve over never birthing a child. Some of us will grieve over never getting married. You grieve and then embrace the plan God does have for your life.
@@lcjones4682 i don’t believe God lets us burn for something that is not His will- that’s just my personal opinion- some of this is bad advice/ theology from well intentioned christians- look to God’s Word and seek His answer on the matter of marriage for you- there are many many scriptures too many to list that talk about God being a good Father Who loves to bless His children with the desires of their heart- i will come back with some scriptures that will encourage you to get answers from His word and not man- i have done in depth detailed study on the matter (marriage and singleness) and lifetime singleness is never enforced by God- people who do not desire marriage are few and far between- if you desire to be married God wants to bless you with a mate- God is for you not against you
Good evening Pastor, married twice and I’m the common denominator…my reflection is within. I checked myself, oh they were trash but I picked them💕
Been there!
Oh brother RC!...you have saved the lives and futures of every woman who’s intelligent and blessed enough to have listened to your godly counsel and heeded your advise!
Some men just want room/bed mate and a housemate but not want a serious relationship maybe because they are immature or they are not truly in love with that woman and that woman allow that kind relationship.
So damn true six years no marriage and I stayed and what a fool I was thanks for your brilliant wisdom x
Preach! I will continue to keep my standards. Man or no man. I am valuable, and the man who sees that will be the one who gets me. Keep preaching the facts pastor!
We're not mad. We're listening. This is great information
This was great. It wasn’t a woman bashing sermon, but very tactful and truthful. Thank you.
I always find genuine peace in you, Bishop RC. Your kindness should be known to all. Amen.
I know my position and I work it well while allowing him to be the man God ordained him to be in his position! I know from my core that I’m valuable and not desperate for anything or anyone!! To God be the Glory!