The myth of bringing your full, authentic self to work | Jodi-Ann Burey

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  • Опубликовано: 29 мар 2021
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    Calls for authenticity at work ask for passionate people with diverse, fresh perspectives who challenge old ways of thinking. But too often workplace culture fails to support the authenticity of professionals of color and other underrepresented groups, leading instead to backlash and fewer opportunities. Writer Jodi-Ann Burey outlines steps toward exposing privilege and achieving true equity on the job -- and implores those in leadership positions to accept responsibility for change.
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Комментарии • 185

  • @fkmyoutube
    @fkmyoutube 3 года назад +118

    Truth at work: Nobody cares about your true self.
    They only care what you can do for them.

  • @pauljansen1137
    @pauljansen1137 3 года назад +72

    true...having to get along with people you barely know for the sake of a workable environment has nothing to do with just being yourself....

  • @franklinveto9274
    @franklinveto9274 3 года назад +50

    I feel like this holds true for everyday life too. Thanks for putting yourself out there and bringing it to the stage.

  • @cormano64
    @cormano64 3 года назад +132

    The two-faced backstabbing nature of most workplaces are the cradle of the horrible "fake it 'til you make it" advice that people keep spreading like it's a good idea.

  • @lukechurch5842
    @lukechurch5842 3 года назад +72

    I’m autistic and this is how I feel going to work. I’m always hiding my real self.

  • @abbyhhernandez
    @abbyhhernandez 3 года назад +29

    my favorite ted talk of all time. by enhancing her repetition of “they said”, she not only switched the narrative but brought awareness to the daily struggle of poc + more. she brought light to the story that authenticity in the workforce isn’t one sided - hence why the non-poc and people elected in power are the start to this change

  • @DeLaSoul246
    @DeLaSoul246 3 года назад +17

    The more I reflect on my life as an autistic adult in the workplace, the more I see parallels with many of the experiences of racial minorities. Sadly.
    "Help us deal with the trauma we cause you by not talking about it because, frankly, it's making our workplace tense and people are uncomfortable with it. Also, we support you and we're here for you. Let us know if there's anything you need."
    Gather round the gaslight, children.

  • @Cloud-cz6xk
    @Cloud-cz6xk 3 года назад +52

    THIS!!! Feels so good to hear her say the truth. Esp in non profits don’t even get me started

  • @Neuronhive
    @Neuronhive 3 года назад +28

    “People who wonder if the glass is half empty or full miss the point. The glass is refillable.”

    • @Gilb1037
      @Gilb1037 3 года назад +1

      Such profound, much genius

  • @PabloCarbonari
    @PabloCarbonari 3 года назад +28

    It's true. But no matter your race, gender, age, disability, etc. the truth is companies don't care about your full authentic self, but instead of what you can do for their benefit. Yes, this should change... hopefully it will, if the biggest companies embrace such change.

  • @robinedwardsmusic
    @robinedwardsmusic 3 года назад +29

    Very true. Very similar experiences as an LGBT person, at almost every large corporate company I've worked for. Smaller companies are sometimes better at listening, but not always. It's mentally exhausting to either hide our authentic selves or try to include ourselves in the workplace.

    • @funnydryjokes9502
      @funnydryjokes9502 5 месяцев назад +1

      how about you just focus on your work and make your LGBTQ status private like other normal people?

    • @76vike19
      @76vike19 2 месяца назад

      @@funnydryjokes9502amen

  • @bbarns6431
    @bbarns6431 3 года назад +31

    She described my daily experience

  • @brothabuddha879
    @brothabuddha879 3 года назад +61

    It takes a lot of mental energy to wear that non-threating costume and take all the base outta your voice to make others feel comfortable.

    • @JC-cb8oi
      @JC-cb8oi 3 года назад

      Bruh. It’s hard to see when the mask comes off.

    • @joylox
      @joylox 2 года назад

      I hid my ADHD for years since I didn't have a diagnosis and was bullied for being weird. It sucks, and I really worry about getting a job next year. It's so much energy and effort to try and hide my disabilities and ADHD, and I hope it gets talked about more.

  • @shawnwashburne6726
    @shawnwashburne6726 3 года назад +23

    “Try to help others feel more comfortable around you”. That makes me sick.

    • @RojaJaneman
      @RojaJaneman 3 года назад

      Y? Isn’t that human?

    • @shyanjones2916
      @shyanjones2916 3 года назад

      Ahh yeah. I'm sure your great fun at parties

    • @kendallcuddles
      @kendallcuddles 3 года назад +1

      Agreed. If you're uncomfortable around me, that says more about how trash you are.

    • @benserkowski4663
      @benserkowski4663 2 года назад +2

      He means making people feel comfortable so if he doesn’t feel good he has to worry about what the other person is thinking of you. I can relate it’s annoying and exhausting

  • @Hans_Peterson
    @Hans_Peterson 3 года назад +26

    Welcome to being an adult and conforming to the company ethos propaganda displayed on posters in the office lol. The only job you can be yourself at is one you don’t mind loosing.

  • @jhsrt985
    @jhsrt985 3 года назад +28

    Make em understand sis

  • @JKJ1900
    @JKJ1900 3 года назад +12

    Thank you for addressing Abelism in this

  • @mikkelfrimer-rasmussen7729
    @mikkelfrimer-rasmussen7729 3 года назад +16

    Brilliant speech! Performance management is biased when performance objectives are narrow. Then diversity of all sorts suffers

  • @rachaelj8018
    @rachaelj8018 3 года назад +16

    This is such a needed talk during this time more than ever before

  • @acornhomestead3575
    @acornhomestead3575 3 года назад +18

    I feel the same as a goofy-fat-highly-intelligent older white woman. I'm very childlike, see the world simply but I'm told to shhhh, ignored, definitely not taken seriously. So yeah... You'll never see my authentic self either!

  • @kt8050
    @kt8050 3 года назад +8

    This makes me think of college education. It is essential and we encourage everyone to get a degree however the way it is designed it is not suppose to let everyone flourish or succeed. So you either study hard or befriend others who studies hard. The system hasn't change much in ages because it has worked for those who is in power now hence they don't need it to work for everyone, there is no incentive for it to change. They don't really care if you personally succeed so they will not accommodate you. All the slogan about inclusiveness is pretty hypocritical

  • @parkway5400
    @parkway5400 3 года назад +13

    Kept it 💯

  • @econ2206
    @econ2206 3 года назад +15

    she's 100% right 💯

  • @AjahsWrite
    @AjahsWrite 2 года назад +7

    You don't want me, you just want my face. Nailed it. 💯💯💯

  • @leoh6678
    @leoh6678 3 года назад +3

    Thank you 👏🏾

  • @j121212100
    @j121212100 3 года назад +4

    Right on point.

  • @varadasukanya3724
    @varadasukanya3724 3 года назад +8

    I can feel you Ma'am, the thought of anti-racism should build from childhood as an ethic so that people will stop differentiating the color

  • @NicoleConardWalters
    @NicoleConardWalters 8 месяцев назад

    Wonderful, Jodi! Thank you.

  • @dianapina6372
    @dianapina6372 3 года назад +3

    Great speech!

  • @johanjansson2723
    @johanjansson2723 3 года назад +1

    Great speech.
    *Applauding*

  • @AbhishekKumarPodcast
    @AbhishekKumarPodcast 2 года назад

    This is brilliant, a breath of fresh air

  • @leoleo385
    @leoleo385 3 года назад +3

    Love these kind of vids

  • @TheMeanArena
    @TheMeanArena 3 года назад +8

    Equal pay for those who are qualified and experienced as the one's they think they deserve to be paid the same amount as them.

  • @chrisaugustin9181
    @chrisaugustin9181 3 года назад +2

    Nice talk, Jodi.

  • @hopebutterfly13
    @hopebutterfly13 3 года назад +2

    Wow so true.

  • @ShawnCoxshawnisblessed
    @ShawnCoxshawnisblessed 3 года назад +5

    I know exactly how she feels.

  • @LeenaHolland23
    @LeenaHolland23 3 года назад +3

    Love!

  • @SaurabhMishra-kx1lo
    @SaurabhMishra-kx1lo 3 года назад +2

    I work in the company where we have Authenticity as one of the values of company

    • @amfarrell42
      @amfarrell42 2 года назад +1

      Same here. It turns out that doesn’t work unless there are clear boundaries.

  • @karimamedgar5377
    @karimamedgar5377 3 года назад +2

    Respect

  • @pres4954
    @pres4954 3 месяца назад

    So much truth, I had tears in my eyes! Sorry, I'm too emotional and take things personally.

  • @christianavance9124
    @christianavance9124 3 года назад +5

    I may be white but this perfectly described my feelings at my job this week around feeling like I have to play a character at work in order to survive.

  • @adamdinham6972
    @adamdinham6972 3 года назад +2

    Authentic doesn't equal comfortable, being authentic is being vulnerable around people in armour, you are gonna get bruised.

  • @wellingtondtivoicenote5065
    @wellingtondtivoicenote5065 3 года назад

    Love it

  • @vilesh8543
    @vilesh8543 3 года назад +9

    It's takes lot of courage to put these things in front of crowd.

  • @streitrat
    @streitrat 3 года назад +27

    I have *never* heard a job to bring my "authentic self" to work!

  • @sisyphus645
    @sisyphus645 3 года назад +10

    Why are people liking and disliking already? The video is 15 minutes long and has only been around for 2 minutes

    • @Comrade_Nikolai
      @Comrade_Nikolai 3 года назад +3

      It's a trend on TED videos. It's people who judge without listening.

    • @MoreThanPeak1
      @MoreThanPeak1 3 года назад +7

      Probably racists who saw a black woman. Some people can be as petty as that

    • @sisyphus645
      @sisyphus645 3 года назад +2

      @@MoreThanPeak1i think more racists liked the video than disliked the video, assuming what you said is correct.

    • @shyanjones2916
      @shyanjones2916 3 года назад +1

      ITS THE FUCKING ROBOTS. WERE BEING TAKEN OVER. wait your one of them aren't you. You fucking bastards got me again...

  • @becauseidonthavenitrotoupl4259
    @becauseidonthavenitrotoupl4259 3 года назад +2

    Was this talk posted before?

  • @1RIN.
    @1RIN. 3 года назад +2

    Beautiful

  • @sunnysideup33
    @sunnysideup33 3 года назад +1

    🙌 Amen

  • @millsykooksy4863
    @millsykooksy4863 Год назад

    I feel like European countries are different because there’s more of a focus on enjoying life versus working yourself to death so you can have a nicer house than your neighbor, but the focuses more on the relationships that you build in the workplace and really appreciating people for who they are, American companies are not like that at all which sucks

  • @IKEMENOsakaman
    @IKEMENOsakaman 3 года назад +30

    Yeah, work is not your life. Work is work. Period.

    • @Macheako
      @Macheako 3 года назад +12

      But we work for our entire lives....

    • @alw2839
      @alw2839 3 года назад +5

      @@Macheako You should be proud wage slave! The top 1% need your contribution! /s

    • @zacherynagy8445
      @zacherynagy8445 3 года назад +2

      @@Macheako plan your escape starting now. Why waste more time literally being a slave when you could also literally create your own wealth be it currency or having your house and fridge and freezer full of fresh food. Possibilities are only held up by your imagination. No one can pursue your dreams lile you can

    • @IrresistibleWitch
      @IrresistibleWitch 3 года назад

      Wrong life is all of your life every day duh!

    • @Macheako
      @Macheako 3 года назад

      @@zacherynagy8445 blah blah blah everybody got the answer but can't NOBODY seem to implement the solution lol we'll see, kid.

  • @trefod
    @trefod 2 месяца назад

    I am a 50 year old white male. Not the obvious choice for this speach to resonate with perhaps. -But behind my blue eyes live an autistic person, that exactly recognises everything that was said.

  • @aerodylluk2543
    @aerodylluk2543 3 года назад +12

    We would all like to be authentic at work but the fact is your CEO gets to dictate the office culture, and within bounds of the law they don't need to accomodate you. It is not your home, it is work, and they make the rules.
    If you want to fit in with your workplace, it is the better idea to do like they do to fit in, or try to be yourself and hope they like it. This is the same in every office.
    If you do not like your workplace culture, then find another workplace or make your own. You can't go to someone's house then complain when you don't like their rules. There is no 'should' in the workplace, there is 'legally obligated to' and nothing else.

    • @econ2206
      @econ2206 3 года назад +8

      She mentions that part of the issue is the hypocrisy of asking for employees to be ~authentic~ and help shape the company culture.

  • @sanvet1235
    @sanvet1235 3 года назад +3

    Love from indonesian .

  • @nthabimoloi5212
    @nthabimoloi5212 3 года назад +1

    🖤

  • @cybersekkin
    @cybersekkin 3 года назад +12

    This holds true for everyone. We value family first, until it causes a problem for the company. Bring your true self to work, as long as it meshes with everyone else. Speak up, except when you disagree with us. This is business and goes against everyone in the business, it is not based on race.

  • @fuckno7g
    @fuckno7g 3 года назад +2

    💖

  • @ethangilbert7305
    @ethangilbert7305 Год назад +1

    Companies are right when they say to bring your full authentic self. It’s not some easy task to bring your full authentic self. The truth is that the most successful people are the authentic ones. The only value you can bring into this world that no one can replace is your authentic self. What’s stupid is when companies think they can get peoples authenticity for cheap. It’s quite stupid because one’s authenticity is priceless

  • @ektaagni2823
    @ektaagni2823 3 года назад +9

    The talk is real, but all that is being told is true for all, it is not related to color.

  • @chuhancheng
    @chuhancheng 3 года назад +1

    It always takes time to digest racism related topic.

  • @jacysteven921
    @jacysteven921 3 года назад +1

    Nice man

  • @iRoxanneLady
    @iRoxanneLady 3 года назад +3

    You do realise that this negative approach at work happens to 90% or more of the people regardless of their race, heritage or the country they're born in? All bosses are just human beings, just like you and everyone else. But because they are leading the group, they also get to choose. Fair or not far is irrelevant at the moment. But the biggest problem is that, people form groups and ideologies. Even you do. And if a business is ran by people who's ideologies differ from yours, then of course you can't please them until you play by their rules. Trust me, I hate it too, but it is what it is. Next time when you have a fun conversation with your mates and completely ingore someone new, remember this here.

  • @jillianroe9461
    @jillianroe9461 3 года назад +2

    hmmm im not seeing this in my experiences so far...my viewpoint is only in healthcare though.

    • @bbarns6431
      @bbarns6431 3 года назад

      What do you do in the healthcare sector

  • @roshiron1816
    @roshiron1816 3 года назад +12

    Professionalism is important and vital, I don't want people to come to work "just as they are". I want their "A" game, their hustle, their drive, and to wear a professional attire. This is not your home, this is an office.

    • @roshiron1816
      @roshiron1816 3 года назад +1

      @@NuitAsdf "Yes, come as you are. Because if you made it past the interview process you had to have been the professional we were looking for." Yeah, they lied. Kinda like your friend when he/she says "it's fine if you're late". If they DON'T virtue signal, then the public gets upset. Hypocrisy is the name of the game.

    • @bibi7762
      @bibi7762 3 года назад +5

      You missed the point of her talk!

  • @MirnaValerio-vm7xm
    @MirnaValerio-vm7xm Год назад

    This is phenomenal.

  • @JerseyJD24
    @JerseyJD24 Год назад

    Thank you for this!!!

  • @madisonwashington5055
    @madisonwashington5055 3 года назад +1

    Hey

  • @raymond1181
    @raymond1181 3 года назад +2

    I call bullshit

  • @mrb2643
    @mrb2643 Год назад +1

    sure tho how would you want to be given feedback without being felt that the feedback is not based on your color but your conduct? are we suffering with victim mindsets playing the race card or seeing the world in color. If you walk around thinking everyone is racist , guess what , you will find em

  • @Smico85
    @Smico85 3 года назад +5

    I like the gist of it, but it dilutes the argument if you make it about race or minorities. This is a problem that affects people of all genders and ethnicities.

  • @sajaisadentist27
    @sajaisadentist27 3 года назад +1

    nise

  • @ryandailyuacalslifemanagem8871

    Thank you Jodi-Ann Burey.

  • @erikweston209
    @erikweston209 3 года назад +3

    Damn. Beautiful. Painful. Medicinal. Thank you.

  • @veronicarodriguez8094
    @veronicarodriguez8094 3 года назад +4

    I'll pass thanks.
    I'll be me at work regardless ❤

  • @Fightosaurus
    @Fightosaurus 3 года назад +7

    Never heard this myth. Coworkers are a captive audience, not people who choose to be there to be graced by your presence. Treat their time valuably and they might become friends!

  • @vbrown5482
    @vbrown5482 2 года назад

    Great Ted talk, however if we’re gonna close the racial wealth gap it must start with black people- who were chattel slaves in this country and proves that it’s never been about gender and starting with Latino women who also have a country is offensive.

  • @jackspades1968
    @jackspades1968 Год назад

    Bringing your authentic self to work requires a crap ton of idgaf. That's not always easy to come by. I was able to get some and it works...But it aint like folks aint fuggin wit me for it.

  • @TennesseeJed
    @TennesseeJed 3 года назад +4

    Why do all these influencers and speakers on RUclips and such have these infrared heaters behind them?

    • @alw2839
      @alw2839 3 года назад

      Guvment....
      .
      .Seriously thought.Who knows.

    • @ClockworkAvatar
      @ClockworkAvatar 3 года назад +2

      lizard people.

  • @Klorel123
    @Klorel123 3 года назад +8

    Title is wrong. This is about racism, not about being authentic.

  • @ElDJReturn
    @ElDJReturn 3 года назад +2

    Thank you! Just decided yesterday that I'm looking for a new job AGAIN thanks to my job not making me feel welcome as a queer individual who comes from a totally different cultural background than these people, and we are all white!

  • @joey8414
    @joey8414 8 месяцев назад

    To be honest, this happens with people of every race, religion, sexual orientation, etc. It's an indictment that the executives don't really care about our opinions and want us to work. It's WAYYYYYY more of a corporate America issue than a race issue.

  • @Natashahoneypot
    @Natashahoneypot 3 года назад +9

    I felt included in this talk until she mentioned it was only for " coloured" people, what ever that means.

  • @gta5funnymoments402
    @gta5funnymoments402 3 года назад

    Where’s johhny?

  • @McNajee
    @McNajee 3 года назад +13

    I didn't expect this to turn towards racism.

    • @clearmenser
      @clearmenser 3 года назад +8

      That's TED these days, swimming deep in the sea of woke juice.

    • @econ2206
      @econ2206 3 года назад +12

      I guess if it doesn't happen to you it isn't real right?

    • @Jessprettypink
      @Jessprettypink 3 года назад +3

      Everything leads to racism nowadays 😂

    • @kendallcuddles
      @kendallcuddles 3 года назад +1

      It's a black woman social justice warrior, it's all they see.

  • @scatton61
    @scatton61 3 года назад +9

    The result of affirmative action, a tick box hire to fulfil a role that you haven't applied for. Just because you have differences and can be passionate doesn't mean that you are right or have to be listened to. Just because you are black and have opinions doesn't make you right. In almost all companies, when you are just starting, it is not unreasonable to try to fit in with their way of working and bring your ideas slowly over time into the mix. Some will be discarded, ignored but if they are good and stand scrutiny they may be taken up. This happens to everyone. DOn't forget in-group bias makes you uncomfortable when you are outside your own group. Black people have the strongest sense of in-group bias and are therefore likely to be uncomfortable when working outside of their group.

    • @econ2206
      @econ2206 3 года назад +4

      u sound white

    • @ylarrymore
      @ylarrymore 2 года назад +2

      I'm black from UT & have always been around more whites then blacks. So no, we don't all feel more comfortable around other blacks. I am comfortable when everyone is different. Different skills, races, disabilities, etc. Why? Bc, that's a real world view. That is how we all grow. I'm sure a lot of this comes from being a military brat too. I know it can exist, bc I've lived it. It is so wonderful to have lots of different races of friends, bc they all bring their culture & we all learn! We get the best food, we learn new phrases, customs & ways of being.
      I can fit in just fine. I know this about myself, it's why I've gotten jobs that ppl scratch their heads about. I've gotten into spaces ppl don't think I should be in, bc I'm "articulate" is what they love to say. You see I exceeded their expectations of what they thought black ppl were like. I had the right look, I dressed better than many of them etc. the list goes on.
      I resignate with what she's saying, bc it's exhausting to "be more like" Jennifer, Becky or frat boy Brad. I never will be them, nor do I want to be. I found myself having to take directives from ppl that aren't really qualified to bark orders at ppl, yet somehow they were given the position, bc they are beasts. They don't have an ounce of emotional intelligence to be managing ppl. They are the ones that need to be sitting in a corner observing how to play well with others. They run ppl off, they start the work drama.
      I want to be like myself. Isn't that the point? To be yourself...everyone else is taken.

  • @XbB0xbeast
    @XbB0xbeast 3 года назад +4

    lost me at latinx

  • @benm38
    @benm38 3 года назад +4

    So you’ve had repeated feedback in your professional life that it is hard for people to work with you, that you’re sensitive and angry and that the only thing you focus on is racism. And that means everyone who has given you that feedback is racist. Right ....

  • @jhsrt985
    @jhsrt985 3 года назад +13

    Wow nobody clapped. That means she said that to the right crowd

    • @ed34
      @ed34 3 года назад +6

      No crowd due to covid? Beginning a sound played!?

    • @jodiann_burey
      @jodiann_burey 3 года назад +1

      No crowd due to covid!

  • @zahidazahoor
    @zahidazahoor 3 года назад +2

    I gave this a thumbs down because it was non specific, the culture and party she talked about was too fuzzy for me to understand why she felt discriminated against.

  • @VadimkaMr
    @VadimkaMr 3 года назад

    GONNA CRY?

  • @khalil9166
    @khalil9166 3 года назад +1

    nah

  • @karenlucas5196
    @karenlucas5196 3 года назад +7

    Got news for you. This happens to white women as well.

    • @kendallcuddles
      @kendallcuddles 3 года назад +2

      And not just women either. Men too.

  • @hswami74
    @hswami74 3 года назад

    POS.

  • @JakeRoselli
    @JakeRoselli 3 года назад +22

    more professional whiners brought to you by Ted...

    • @econ2206
      @econ2206 3 года назад +9

      Yep they brought you here right on time ;)

    • @liz257
      @liz257 3 года назад +10

      I've come to realise calling people whiny is just an excuse to not have to listen to them

  • @76vike19
    @76vike19 2 месяца назад +1

    What a load of bullshit

  • @jeffrey332
    @jeffrey332 3 года назад +9

    Protection of my whiteness? Whom is judging now? To be disagreeable has a toll no matter what race. That makes it difficult but not wrong. Reverse racism is not the answer

    • @econ2206
      @econ2206 3 года назад +8

      reverse racism? 😂

    • @rulamagic
      @rulamagic 3 года назад

      Not a thing

  • @mikedesirey5460
    @mikedesirey5460 3 года назад +8

    What does that have to do with white people?

    • @econ2206
      @econ2206 3 года назад +4

      Have you ever wondered why most bosses are white / light skinned?

    • @Macheako
      @Macheako 3 года назад +9

      @@econ2206 have you ever wondered what it’s like in a non white majority country?
      Your stupidity hurts my soul

    • @Yoodledoodle
      @Yoodledoodle 3 года назад +7

      The fact that her speech touches on racism, and you ask “but what does that have to do with white people” shows that YOU are part of the problem.

    • @ClockworkAvatar
      @ClockworkAvatar 3 года назад +3

      @@Yoodledoodle imaginary problems require imaginary solutions.

  • @peterbarker8249
    @peterbarker8249 3 года назад

    .. I'm blind.????
    ..what is colour...
    ..visual or mental. ...?

  • @ahnanda68
    @ahnanda68 3 года назад +2

    I call it robot Barbie doll. It doesn't have a color.

  • @Samtagri
    @Samtagri 3 года назад +1

    Another rant with some anecdotal evidence and lots of bullshit. TED talks are becoming pathetic.