Christian Marriage Boundaries (with kids edition)
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- Опубликовано: 20 ноя 2022
- CHRISTIAN COUNSELING - betterhelp.com/nateandsutton10
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Wait… but when do you put her first? When you tell her she needs to go back to the gym months after having a baby and during a move? When you let her take little kids to a doctor appointment? You disrespect and dishonor her on RUclips. I can only imagine what you do and say behind closed doors. Keep your advice bro. I’ll pass.
He’s a narcissist and she f***** up marrying him
These people are T-r-a-s-h.
And doesn’t think he should ever apologize to her for hurting her feelings AND makes her tell him when she leaves the house and how long she’ll be gone when he’s being a dick and she needs a break
I hope she finds the strength to value herself as she should and leave him. She and the kids will be much happier and healthier without his toxicity. My chest hurts so much watching/listening to him and how he speaks to Sutton. It's disgusting and so dishonorable.
Exactly.
I can't wait to see her new channel when she finally gets away from this abusive toxic situation. She deserves so much better than this creep.
Yes! So many of us are here for that day!!
Whoa that is so judgmental… You don’t even know them… ☹️
She is so happy, they laugh and smile so much, they’re madly in love, have wonderful children, living their dream life. How can you say anything negative about this couple? They are NOT perfect by any means, but who the heck is? He is sitting here talking about how important it is to show his boys how much he loves their mama, not disrespecting their mama, showing how much they love each other, etc. What on earth did you think is wrong with that???
@@AbbyMcGuire23 honestly watching their other videos and having come out of a covert narcissistic abusive relationship myself. It’s his nonverbal cues. Anyone can stream a seemingly “perfect” life but body language doesn’t lie.
@@AbbyMcGuire23 don’t know them? They film themselves and display it for the whole world to see. And if you can’t see pain in her eyes and hate in his heart I feel sorry for the people around you. Learn about empathy and be a better person. Praying for your heart.
Look at her eyes. That’s all I’m going to say. His too. His nonverbal cues SCARE me
Watching these videos make me so thankful for my husband, but also sad for this woman who thinks this is normal and acceptable. Not an advocate for divorce but this man has a lot of work to do.
If you're not an advocate for divorce your one for abuse.
@@samsosa7234 Some people don't change. They don't, the end. No amount of therapy can change a narcissist that doesn't want to change.
Divorce is for those in a relationship that simply can not "make it work", for couples to separate if the relationship is toxic or abusive. I fully support this divorce if her needs never come first, and he gaslights her in public like this.
If you don't believe in divorce, that is for you only. We as people should always advocate for what others want or need, because at the end of the day - something you don't want for yourself doesn't mean others shouldn't want it.
People die from domestic abuse, whether that's emotional/mental, financial, spiritual, or physical. They die. Whether that be literal way of dying, or losing themselves to the abuse that they can no longer enjoy life - they die.
@@ghostbeast I agree and I’m very aware of all of that. But the truth is, not a single one of of knows what this relationship is like outside of RUclips. People on the internet, particularly tiktok, love to sensationalize things and diagnose people based on how they interpret things.
I never said I don’t believe in divorce, I surely do. If this man is what all the armchair psychologists believe he is then I hope she gets out quickly and safely. However, I also think if she’s manipulated by him, screaming insults in the comments will only push her closer to him. By making him the villain he can make himself the victim, and use that to keep her in place. That’s why I try to comment from a more neutral position.
@@samsosa7234 That's a very valid point. Although I don't stand by dismissing those who can see telltale signs and points out red flags - you are right.
If he is the narcissist everybody believes him to be, he could easily use any of these comments as fuel to say something like god is testing them or something. Which would be highly unfortunate.
I am an advocate for divorcing a narcissist. I'll always advocate for that. They don't change. Not every narcissistic trait equals narcissism though. That being said, no one deserves to be in a relationship with narcissistic traits.
Sutton i know Nate will probably say that all of this hate that you are getting is from anti-christian’s who are using this as an opportunity to hate on your life style. I am NOT saying that. I just think you deserve so much more out of your relationship. Nate has structured the relationship, it seems, (granted from a very limited insight into your lives via RUclips videos) to completely control the balance of power in the relationship. I can pick up on this because I know someone who has gone through a similar relationship. It’s pure narcissism. Whenever you bring up an issue in your relationship, he will try to turn it around and somehow make it about you. Godbless you sutton, i hope that Nate does a lot of therapy.
Well said. It's a shame it will fall on deaf ears.
I agree. I can hear now the explanation that the negative comments & attention are from the devil and any doubts she may have are being planted there by the devil. As a Christian myself, it’s disappointing to see a man perverse the pure intentions of a husbands love for his wife.
I understand that they are only sharing small & curated pieces of their life, but Sutton knows in her heart if she is being treated correctly. I hope Nate does some serious self reflection & they get the help that they need.
Sutton, you deserve better. You can’t hide behind your “perfect little White House” and “perfect marriage” and filters forever. Coming from someone who is married and in a healthy relationship this is hard to watch.
They are so “pro life” and “save the children” but at the same time “spouse over child any day” 👀🤦🏻♀️
Nate give major major narcissistic vibes. I would bet my left leg that he could obviously be diagnosed with NPD.
Such an evil spirit coming from him and yet he literally uses God’s name in vain by acting like he’s Christian when he’s everything but s as Christian. It’s sad for Sutton, she truly is dancing with the devil.
I would also bet Nate is probably cheating on her. 👀
Don't need advise from a man who makes his wife take her children to her doctors appointment because he didn't feel like watching the children. Gross. I feel bad for her.
I'm guessing you saw a little snippet of a TikTok video, and didn't even watch the full video... You've probably never watched any of their videos but came here to bash anyway...
@My Other Account actually I came and watched a few of the videos before commenting on any. I stand by what I said.
@@dinosaurtron2586 y'all sound so entitled and sware your judge jury and executioner you modern woman are a pure comedy no wonder no man will even take you clown srs
Put your spouse first? When does Nate put you first, Sutton? I will pray for you guys. It must be hard being a married single mom.
You don't even know them! You saw a TikTok video and projected your feelings into this relationship.
That’s the beauty of all social media! When people put themselves out there for the world to judge…we get to judge.
@@Mike335is lmao we have enough evidence on this channel to know enough. You’re acting like there’s 0 evidence that this man is a terrible husband
@@Lotiopiousmis so you've sat and fully watched their videos? Or did you see a few cherry picked TikTok videos that show the worst parts of what some other person chose for you see, and then came to their RUclips channel to try and separate this couple? The negative comments have only started recently in their 2 newest videos.
It's baffling how desperate people are, it also shows how much more this couples channel is needed to show people like you all compassion and grace.
@@Mike335is yes I have been sitting and watching their videos and I’ve still come to the conclusion that this man needs work. A tiktok video showing the worst parts is still accurate? He said those things, it’s still evidence he isn’t a good husband. And I’m glad it’s getting more comments on it because she needs to learn her worth! The reason it wasn’t before is because it was only being viewed by people who have the same views obviously. Now it’s getting people with different views because of the tiktok.
Imagine being married to this creep, filming his creepiness, uploading it and thinking people will relate…gurl, one day you’re gonna be free of him and get with a good guy and this will all be a distant memory. Praying for you.
This guy gives me Chris Watts vibes. Please stay safe girl.
Absolutely zero life in those eyes. Total creep.
Why does she always look like she's on the verge of tears? 🥴
Dude this guy is absolutely slimy. I feel so sorry for this girl. I can only imagine how bad he is when the camera isn’t on 😢
Who's here from TikTok to advise this incredible woman to RUN.
This man is all EGO, insecurity and deeply routed misogyny.
I know it's hard when you have kids. (Truly) And it might not be right away but there is an army of women who will come around and support you the day you leave. ✨
He’s a typical covert narcissist who uses religion to condone his poor behaviors and actions. Grew up around men like this and my ex was also like this. I can guarantee you covert abusive tactics is at play here.
Oh boy, this is so sad. I'm thankful every day that I married a grown adult that's an actual partner and not an entitled man child that can't care for himself using the guise of "Christianity" to support their inability to carry out basic functions and support their spouse. I truly hope she's able to realize what a narcissist he is and get the partner that's her equal. No woman should be responsible for raising their husband.
She’s pushed back in videos before but of course he ignores it. I hope she keeps that confidence to speak up against his narcissistic views and realizes she deserves soooo much more love and kindness. She should be cherished and it’s clear she is not.
I guarantee she isn’t allowed to read these comments. The power he had over her and brainwashing her into thinking SHE is the problem 99% of the time. Get out lady, he’s toxic
Her body language in response to his is worrisome. This is not a healthy marriage.
Sutton I truly hope you see his narcissistic abuse towards you. You don’t deserve the pain this man puts you through. He is evil hiding as “a godly man”. He’s a walking red flag babe when will you listen?
My God. Watching her facial and body language breaks my heart. No one showed her how to be loved, valued, or respected. It’s so apparent that she didn’t have an example of a loving, nurturing father figure in her life or a strong mother figure to explain her worth. This video was truly heartbreaking to watch. I would never encourage someone to get a divorce. It’s painful for all parties involved in some cases. But, I believe wholeheartedly that she’s only there because of their children. She’s not valued in this marriage. She’s his property and I’m willing to bet he makes sure that she knows that.
One of the best ways to not disrespect the mom of your kids is to not present her post-pregnancy body as a problem. Maybe??
At 2:00 I bet that boy says "don't talk to momma" because he already knows his dad isn't going to say something nice or fair to her. That boys already trying to protect her.
Putting your spouse first doesn’t mean you always give attention to them first. You don’t make a vow to your kids because you have an automatic natural obligation to care for them….that doesn’t even need a vow to be there.
Obviously prioritizing your marriage is what is most beneficial for the kids, and family as a whole, which is what this concept is based on….but most of the examples I hear or to literal. Being a child doesn’t mean “your needs come second” when it comes to food, conversation, or attention….it means a good marriage IS their need.
This thank you 🙏🏾👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿.
Dude gives me Chris Watts vibes.
She seems so uncomfortable... It's probably normal to her
The toxic narcissistic person he is. Omg I hope she leaves safely from this guy.
I watched one of your videos on TikTok and within the length of that video I started questioning whether this man was a narcissist. I had to come to your channel to watch more. I would bet everything I own and ever will own that this man is a narcissist. I was told by a licensed counselor abuse from a narcissist is some of the worst abuse someone can go through. Narcissist are inherently abusive. Sutton if you love your kids, you need to get them away from this man. He will emotionally abuse them just like he seems to emotionally abuse you. I have a toddler and when I’m sick my husband will let me rest and he will completely take care of him even if it’s days that the responsibility falls only on him. That’s a real partnership and my son will be able to look at us and say that’s real love- to do for someone even if it’s inconvenient to me. It broke my heart you had to take your children to urgent care with you. That’s awful. I’m so sorry. Please know you are worth more.
Well said! Your husband is modeling Christlike behavior while this guy refuses to get off the throne he built for himself in his head. It’s sad.
Sutton, you deserve so much better. Please don’t ever feel bad for leaving this man if you need to. You’re a kind soul that should be taken care of emotionally. Not all things are meant to last, and that’s OK ❤️
I hope she realizes one day soon what a narcissist her husband is. She deserves so much better !! It is clear how he emotionally manipulates her during every single argument. If my husband hurts my feelings he will ALWAYS apologize btw.
Hi Sutton, I love your name! I'm here to remind you that God shows no partiality (Romans 2:11) and He created male and female in His own image (Genesis 1:27), therefore we can believe God created men and women equally. Your husband isn't treating you equally, you deserve to be treated equally. I wish you all the best for you and your children's futures, Sutton ❤️
Exactly.
He makes everything about himself making him very narcissistic.
Jesus says husbands love you’re wife’s like he loves the church.
Nate fails to do this completely because he always turns everything about him and his feelings.
But what about Sutton and her feelings?
So kids will emulate correct? So they will see you treating their mother like an object to be bred and your 2nd mommy and that's a good thing?
Came here to type this. I can’t stand it when parents talk about the future they have lined up for their kids. Kids are autonomous beings that grow into adults that get to make their own decisions on what they want their life to look like. Sometimes that’s not get married and having kids. Not to mention the kids seeing this as their example. It’s disgusting.
“See me putting her first” he says as she fights back tears. This is sad
She seems so sad.
You guys stay encouraged and keep going! ❤
Sutton. I will keep you and your children deep in my thoughts and prayers. You deserve a loving and respectful partner who actually likes and cherishes you. This "man" professes to follow God but he is only worshipping himself. Please start saving money because you will need to flee from him one day.
Exactly.
He’s narcissistic 💯
Your spouse is a fully formed grown human. Kids absolutely come first.
great video on marriage boundaries!!!!!
I feel like you are talking about my son with interrupting 😅 he literally will be quiet then when my husband and I start talking he decides he neeeeeeds to talk and it is urgent! 😂
If he symbolizes the typical Christian man and husband, then that belief should really be deeply questioned. 😳
When I met my husband 24 years ago, I was a single Mom of 2 children. I told him he would be after my children, in priority, in our relationship. He had agreed. We have been married 18 years now. I could tell something was bothering him one day. I asked what was wrong. He said, I am tired of being 6th in line with you. God, me, #1, #2, #3 and husband. I jokingly said, no your #7 because of our granddaughter. Lol. I now recognize it's time to transition him to #3 now my children are grown. However, when it is a blended family, it's important for the children to stay priority. I think it is important to transition back and forth. We try to write each other so the children are not in the middle of our argument. It doesn't always work, but we try.
I’m not married , but my kids will always be put first no matter what .
I have two sons They are 20 and 22. They work and go to school They still live with us because they're still going to school. I want to say that the early ages from birth to seven years old is the most crucial and important development of a child They need to be seen by the parents their needs have to be met and their feelings need to be seen. If that doesn't happen prepare for your marriage to be rocked when they're teenagers Because the things they are going to choose to do is going to disrupt your marriage to the Core. I recommend not to have more because she needs to give quality attention to those kids as so they develop healthy and good boys for the world. I understand that you are her husband and the provider but your marriage will be tested if those kids feelings and needs are not being seen properly. Never spoil them because they will feel entitled. Motivate them to work for the things they want.👍❤
Heyyyyy!!! Ive missed your vlogs
I hope and pray one day she will fully open her eyes and see she is better off and happier in life not being his partner.
Kids pick up on more than you think, they know when you’re fighting even if you try not to around them. Like you said Sutton, your mood changes and they feel that tension then try to compensate for it.
Good talk I enjoyed all of your points 👍
Yes they are little smarties!
They are sponges and absorb the best and WORST of you. Hope you can look in the mirror and see flaws some day soon
Omg first topic is his hair naturally 😂😂😂
My husband always said,” our children are a product of our love not our lives”
Glad to see you back and have a happy thanksgiving!
Thanks! You too!
Please do not have more kids with this man Sutton. That would be just cruel to the child.
Could you share the article link that you mentioned at the beginning of the video?
❤️. Parents are the most important influence on their children period. Thank you for being mindful about what they are seeing and hearing. It is important.
This woman was conditioned in her upbringing to accept mysoginistic & narcissistic behaviour from a husband. It’s quite sad. As she matures she’ll realize it…
Bro… your marriage seems does NOT seem healthy. There is so much immediate disrespect toward Sutton. I really hope your church leadership is keeping you accountable and that your honest with them.
You can replace your man you can't replace your kids. My baby comes first always, forever!
She’s saying “put your spouse first” and he’s like “alright” like wtf is this
Great advice. Hair debacle?! lol All about priority God, your spouse, kids, and the rest... Tfs!
Thank you for this! Great video 😁
Sutton, boy when those empty nest years hit and he doesn’t have the children to manipulate you, your eyes are going to be wide open.
This is a poor way to express boundaries. Boundaries arnt just “rules” or “guidelines”.
Guys, I love you in Christ. Keep your eyes focused on Jesus and His Word. All love.
I started watching your videos recently. Been loving your videos ! I'm a 20 yro Christian who's simply doing all I can to follow Jesus in my life and I am trying to learn as much as I can from other Christians like you two. 🙏Thanks guys; God Bless you and your family.
Your hair looks fine 😊
Wish she would know her worth. This guy never compromises. Not a good husband. All he wants is a mother. Not a wife.
Sis run!
Hi Nate and Sutton! Thanks for the wonderful counsel and encouragement. I only remember one thing my pastor said when my husband and I were married. He said “the grass is never greener on the other side, it’s only green where you water it.” Just like the Bible says we are planted in the garden of God, we need to remember that our marriage needs to be like a garden and we need to tend to it and water it, that it would bear much fruit for the Kingdom of God! The children will always benefit from a fruitful marriage!
Yes! Justin Bieber says that in one of his songs too 😆🙌🏽 love it!
@@nateandsutton what's the song called?
@@nateandsutton hey nate !!! You're beating your children and mentally and emotionally abusing your wife and putting it on the internet because YOURE PROUD OF IT!!??!! Get help my guy !! Stop abusing babies little babies under 3 you disgusting pos...sutton...pull your head outta your ass and escape with your children before they hate you both for the rest of your lfie..life...
Degenerates
I have three young boys with my husband and could relate to every single thing you said. Our children also go to bed around 7:30 and, for us, that is our “date night” too. Your video made me realize I’m not alone in the struggle. Thank you.
I just have a question, there was a channel some years ago called LifeasDiana , later on " Diana Magick", and this guy was her husband. They had a daughter her name was Divina.
Is this his second marriage?
I am pretty sure Diana's husband was this exact same guy.
That was his brother!
Haircut looks great! next time you can treat Sutton to a haircut
Great video!
I just feel really weird vibes from him. seriously no hate but he seems narcissistic and controlling.
Love your spouse more than your kids? What kind of bs advice is that? Listen, your husband is a grown adult who should be able to care for himself.
If a person and their husband are able to have a healthy relationship, the kids will benefit. But if the wife in this case focuses and loves her kids more, then her relationship with her husband will suffer, and the children will suffer in turn. It may not always be blatant but it does have its effects
@@genomerc for emotionally and developmentally disabled people, this may be the case. normal people love their children, and do not find their CHILDREN to be COMPETITION for the attention/affection of their SPOUSE. you’ve should genuinely get some help if you consider these to be healthy dynamics for a family.
Who did God say that you will be one with? The mistake the cultural teaches is to put children above spouses. God, husband and wife, children, house/ career. When the order is messed up that is when you see so many divorces and issues. Also when your children grow up they are to leave and cleave to their own spouse (if it is God's will for them to get married.) If you do not believe in God's order of things, or if you are not a Christian I understand how this may make zero sense, but if you are, I pray you prayerfully consider what is the role of marriage, and family. When the head is healthy, the body will be also. Blessings ❤️
Good advice. That’s what kind of advice it is.
This is why according to statistics Christians are more likely to get divorced. They create patriarchy instead of a relationship where both people work together and are respected.
Hi guys! Totally agree with what your saying, your spouse comes before your children! First God, your spouse, then your children! God bless you guys!
Nate, whoa, why did you quote Andy Stanley? He is a heretic! I’m not saying this in a mean way at all but I’m really curious why you listen to him? Love y’all so much and thank you for your content!
LOVE Y'ALL ❤️
💛💛
I would never treat my girlfriend in private the way you treat your wife on RUclips, it's disgusting.
Jezebel doesn't submit to her husband or respect him. And puts herself before her family. This is crazy lol you must be really making a difference! Good Job Guys!!! Your changing generations! :)
So good!!!
Glad to see you guys back. Love your videos, they're very encouraging. And happy Thanksgiving
Thank you! You too! 💛
When he said “By seeing me putting her first.” The look on her face and gulp tells me all I need to know. Nate, you are horrible and UNgodly in the most Christian way. Sutton, break free and teach your boys better.
Have missed you guys!
I was waiting for a new video from you guys. It doesnt apply to me, but you two give me some positivity, especially in this dark moment in my life. I recently found out the girl I've had a crush on for the past several months isn't interested in online dating. I started talking to her a few weeks ago, but only the other week she changed her mind (for some reason, even though she was enthusiastic initially) and is too busy to chat online with the intention of being friends, so it seems she doesn't want to talk anymore.
I straight up told her dad (who's a pastor and started following me in August and I seemed to be getting along with really well) I want to date her and after a few exchanges, it seems there's no way anything's going to happen now.
Basically, she'd prefer to meet and get to know a guy in person. She's actually had 4 others contact her dad with the same intentions in the past year and twice she tried to date online but it didn't work out. Fortunately, her dad was very understanding and encouraging and gave me advice. I brought up the possibility of visiting in the future to meet her in person if/when I'm able to and he didn't say no, just "Let’s cross that bridge when we get there. Keep in touch with me. I’m here to encourage you."
I just wish I could talk to her though. I feel so alone where I am. I want someone I can connect with in all aspects and she fit that description pretty much perfectly. I've felt miserable since last week. I would very much appreciate prayers.
Omg you need to leave her alone. She doesn’t belong to you
@@chasegoodwin345 Y’know, that’s not a very Christlike response. You’re the first person to respond to me in a very negative and antagonistic fashion. I think you should go do some self reflection. I’m in a very bad emotional state right now and I don’t need more negative things happening in my life. I need empathy.
@@Lukandon if you do self-reflection, you’ll realize you’re describing stalker behavior, even if that’s not your intent. Why is your happiness determined by her? You’re your own person. Sounds like God gave you plenty of signs that she’s not the one and not right now. And yet you persist.
@@chasegoodwin345 Dude, we're talking about the internet here. Stalking? Really? We're in the social media age where people post their lives and allow others from all over to know what they're doing.
Just so you know, I've mostly stopped thinking about her now because there's no point anymore. I just follow her on Twitter like a regular person because I do like her Tweets and her art.
If we're going to talk about signs, there are none that indicate she's not the one for me. For all I know, I acted too early, or this is God telling me "hold up, focus on your own life first, stop thinking about her so much, she can come later when you can actually meet her". Her dad not ruling out meeting her in person in the future when I'm able to indicates it's up in the air whether she's the one for me.
There were plenty of signs that indicated she was the one for me. I even made a list of reasons why I liked her and it reached 19. That's not a normal number for a vague interest. I actually genuinely had interest in her as a person and she looked like a really kind Christlike girl who I could get along with and have shared interests with.
As for happiness, well, if you knew what I'm going through in my life like someone close to me would know, you'd know why.
And now my main source of depression and misery is my own mother because even after my baptism, she's still not turning to Christ... I feel alone. I'm the only Christian in my family and my friends aren't exactly the most relatable.
edition**** hahaha it’s all good, just catch that typo quick
When have you ever put her first tho? You disrespect her even in your videos can’t even imagine how you treat her off camera. Seeing your couple really made me appreciate my husband and how he treats me. STRONG MAN NOT EQUAL NARCISSIST PERIOD
Can someone explain to me why yall dont like nate? Im just confused since i rarely watch this channel?
Thank you for the video. My mistake is always putting the kids first. Your video really helped to realize it.
Nate you weird
An advertisement of why not to get married
I think this was actually such an awesome video idk what the comment section is talking about but hope you guys take courage and do not get discouraged💪🏽❤
Love this! Thank you Nate and Sutton for your wise words!
Love this and love you all, thank you for sharing! 🙏🏻
Awesome video guys!! My husband and I are just about to have our first baby, so this was so awesome to watch and I’ll definitely be coming back to watch it again!
Also I cracked up at the bit where it was silent and Sutton goes “we’re having a fourth kid” 😂😂
Love you guys!
Aw congratulations!! Such an exciting time!
This is really good solid advice. Thank you both
Glad you enjoyed it!
This was good!!! I agree !! Me and my husband have tried to be intentional about these things that you were talking about here. It is God's order of things , the way He created family to be!!! And it's one of the greatest gifts you can give your children is a to keep your marriage strong in the Lord!!
I actually don’t see anything wrong at all with his hair! Just me?? Lol
I don't feel bad for her at this point. You can tell from their videos she knows he's horrible. He is so narcissistic and obviously not helpful. But she stays and continues to make videos... FOR PROFIT. So hey if she likes it, I love it.
She deserves better…not putting your kids before your spouse is so backwards.
I love how much Nate makes Sutton laugh, it’s so so cute!! 🥹
This dude seems off.
Lots of wisdom! I love this! Thanks so much for sharing! 🍁🍂🌸🌿🧡
All these people commenting 3 weeks ago are definitely from that toxic account on TikTok that just criticize them because of views.
It is also very important for children to see their mother respecting her husband. It is a sad commentary of women to see how often women belittle their husband in front of their children while talking to friends and family
I get not letting your marriage fall by the wayside but I don’t understand putting numbers on the different family relationships. You keep saying your relationship with your kids come 2nd and I truly don’t understand that. The relationship with your children is just different not numbered. Why does that even need to be a thing?
This is the first video you've ever made I fully agree with