I can understand someone thinking us secondary sources are pieces of crap but sometimes we don't know we are until we've fallen completely in love with the Narcissist & we find out we are the dirty little secrets. We hurt just as much if not more as anyone else in the dynamic.
I think someone would do very well creating a "no contact" support group for people going through narcissistic withdrawals, in order to keep the no contact in place!!!! A no narc app!!!!
I’ve seen a lot of narcissist sign up to be a side piece. They get a sadistic thrill from it.. Had a friend who was extremely proud of herself for sleeping with a married man who’s wife just had a baby. She would show me her fb and the pics of their family and it would sicken me. I did not know she was a narcissist until I found HG and needless to say we are not friends anymore. Sick puppies. 👽
You’re describing that Nicole kessinger, the mistress of Chris watts who murdered his wife and kids. Ps. I had my fair share of side chicks who stalk and obsess over me as the former IPPS
Yep but the sweetest thing about that is they get discarded and lied too lol.. my ex was a side peice she devalued me and thought he was gonna leave his missus for her lol
This is timely. I’m going into week 2 of No Contact. In the past, I used to announce my departure. 🤦🏻♀️ Yep, that was my addiction crying out for a fix. The big test will be this Monday: it’s his birthday. I MUST resist reaching out. Thank you, HG.
Resist reaching out, he doesn't care & it will provide fuel to him as well as make him think you want him back!! If you did call, he probably wouldn't answer bcuz he's soooo busy with the others, trying to fit several dates into that birthday, SMH but he'll know you thinking about him
And don’t worry he will be back, on histerms🙄. Unless you go no contact “ Block everything! It’s literally a roller coaster ride until they don’t want you anymore
This was my situation for 8 years(been in my life total of 26 years) I didn't go no contact, I went to his wife, and his response ..." This is the last thing I'll ever say to you, do not contact me, come to my house or work, if you think I have anything at your house that is mine throw it away, do not try to return it" That was the last I heard of him, he's blocked me, it's been 2 months. I'm swimming thru the sea of emotional thinking.....
Don’t feel bad. This is who they are. They have numerous of side chicks at the same time”. They only get what they want and let you go…..consider yourself lucky cause I hear they treat their spouse really bad! And believe me they probably know by now who this person really is. They say they devalue them right after the wedding.
Oh because of your advise. Now, I see the world in a whole different way. Narcissism is a pandemic in itself, isn’t it HG Tudor. You helped me see your kind and my kind.
I met him on internet, when I had enough, I withdrawn myself completely, without even say anything. My old no. Is in trash, so is my account. And at that time I wasn't not even aware of npd, before leaving I did a whole bunch of Overthinking crap, anyway, I'm glad I made my way out and ran so fucking far. 😂😇 When you have to save yourself from a monster, why tf would you think about how they're going to react, or what they're going to think, just take your shit and run to the hill.
Thank you HG... this was my role in the narcissist’s life. I wish I could buy you a drink because you give the best advice like a trusted friend. By implementing your advice, you have saved me from untold misery.
I was the Primary source for my ex Narcissist, who I left in November 2020. He is sleeping with one of his secondary sources (and was during our relationship). This woman (the main secondary source) has always been there for him for the past 6 years. I can't understand the bond they have. He always abused me emotionally and mentally, but says he doesn't feel the need to with her because she is a 'beautiful soul'. Yet, he never makes her his girlfriend for all to see. Why is this?
I have been drinking so much from the well of Tudor lately that I believe I am now marinated!! Thank you HG. You make this lockdown quite enjoyable. :)
I have a borderline friend who keeps thinking up trying tricks to get her married narcissist to get a divorce. After she implements her manipulative trick, she keeps giving him deadlines, he keeps giving her excuses and ignores her deadlines. She gets angry calls him names and blocks him, only a few days later she starts texting and calling him asking him to come over. Same thing for 3 years. She hovers him, LOL What a rollercoaster ride that is.
I was a secondary source, but I had no idea until I found out that he'd married someone else--a former colleague of mine. I never signed up to be groomed as a side piece.
Funny you post this. My ex narc is now in a "poly" relationship. She is the side piece for a married man and she insists its an "Open marriage". She is yapping all over twitter about it but people are not actually responding well to it. Anything for supply I suppose.
It's scary how accurate your analysis is. I ve been iss and dirty little secret, long distance. He was texting every two weeks like clockwork, I stopped texting first for a year now but still responded. That was until last summer when I was at our common home town. I think I delivered a narcissistic injury by cancelling our date and going out with one of his friends and resisted his hoover attempts while I was in town. He still tried to keep our biweekly texting but I stopped answering half the time. He eventually stopped texting. I guess I shouldn't be expecting a comeback or a hoover or is he done because I ve made it harder?
In my case the ex wife he claims he can't stand seems to forever be his primary source. He can't go 3 days without talking to her. She cut him off when she found out we were dating 2 years after they were divorced. He flipped out and blew up her phone. It's crazy.
One of the narcissists I grew up with- non intimate person- family member- continues to hoover- trying to bypass the no contact. Does this to me and one other family member. It is confusing as to why- but now- after listening to the video- I understand. And I think it's because he doesn't have others to draw fuel from- especially from the other person he tries to hoover. It is very confusing
Somatic narc a obsessed q predator a little different keeps coming after me I had move 5obmiles still comes but I no contact he still try not as much but still he obsessed have you heard this?
I always imagined me taking his secondary source, whom I thought was the only fuel, amd smashing her head into a concrete wall...blaming HER..But when she showed up at our home,knocked on the door, as I opened, I could help but see a broken girl, so I told my husband he had a guest amd took them off to school . For some reason, I felt compassion for her, at least the monster married me, she had nothing. I understand so much more about who I married and who I am. This will be the final Narcissist for me. Hr maybe a lesser, I am not sure he knows what he is, he knows he is brilliant.
HG these intimate secondary sources don’t deserve your help... they are weak 1. They clearly lack self respect and self esteem to be happy to “shelved”. 2. they are willingly engaging with a man who is committed, this makes them more toxic than him.
Primary source is "willingly" having relations with someone who lies, cheats, creates chaos but the primary source has SELF-RESPECT & SELF-ESTEEM 🙃 huh?
I was most likely a secondary source but I didn’t know. She said she was single and she was the one that said she was my girlfriend or nothing. But after the 1st few months during devalue She barely gave me the time of day. Often disappeared. I found out about her harem and heard her say she loves another guy but she still denies it to this day. She still says she was only with me. I honestly can’t tell you if I was a primary or secondary source but after 9 months no contact I was most likely primary for a short time then made into a secondary side guy
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
I can understand someone thinking us secondary sources are pieces of crap but sometimes we don't know we are until we've fallen completely in love with the Narcissist & we find out we are the dirty little secrets. We hurt just as much if not more as anyone else in the dynamic.
So true cause I sure didn’t until I started searching for answers myself.
Yep, me too. To my horrified chagrin.
I think someone would do very well creating a "no contact" support group for people going through narcissistic withdrawals, in order to keep the no contact in place!!!! A no narc app!!!!
The only danger is narcs going on the app
I’ve seen a lot of narcissist sign up to be a side piece. They get a sadistic thrill from it.. Had a friend who was extremely proud of herself for sleeping with a married man who’s wife just had a baby. She would show me her fb and the pics of their family and it would sicken me. I did not know she was a narcissist until I found HG and needless to say we are not friends anymore. Sick puppies. 👽
You’re describing that Nicole kessinger, the mistress of Chris watts who murdered his wife and kids. Ps. I had my fair share of side chicks who stalk and obsess over me as the former IPPS
Yep but the sweetest thing about that is they get discarded and lied too lol.. my ex was a side peice she devalued me and thought he was gonna leave his missus for her lol
This is timely. I’m going into week 2 of No Contact. In the past, I used to announce my departure. 🤦🏻♀️ Yep, that was my addiction crying out for a fix. The big test will be this Monday: it’s his birthday. I MUST resist reaching out.
Thank you, HG.
Resist reaching out, he doesn't care & it will provide fuel to him as well as make him think you want him back!! If you did call, he probably wouldn't answer bcuz he's soooo busy with the others, trying to fit several dates into that birthday, SMH but he'll know you thinking about him
And don’t worry he will be back, on histerms🙄. Unless you go no contact “
Block everything! It’s literally a roller coaster ride until they don’t want you anymore
I now think I was a secondary source but didn't realize it.
Welcome to club :P
It's all sick. The same thing happened to me.
Yes. Blindsiding the Narcissist is a huge win! Planning garners the favor of the Gods. Thank you HG.
Perfect..just before valentines day..i been getting from the flying monkees hints that i need to reach out to her...no
This was my situation for 8 years(been in my life total of 26 years) I didn't go no contact, I went to his wife, and his response ..." This is the last thing I'll ever say to you, do not contact me, come to my house or work, if you think I have anything at your house that is mine throw it away, do not try to return it"
That was the last I heard of him, he's blocked me, it's been 2 months.
I'm swimming thru the sea of emotional thinking.....
Don’t feel bad. This is who they are. They have numerous of side chicks at the same time”. They only get what they want and let you go…..consider yourself lucky cause I hear they treat their spouse really bad! And believe me they probably know by now who this person really is. They say they devalue them right after the wedding.
And there is a good possibility he will be back😳. If you don’t block them
Oh because of your advise. Now, I see the world in a whole different way. Narcissism is a pandemic in itself, isn’t it HG Tudor. You helped me see your kind and my kind.
I met him on internet, when I had enough, I withdrawn myself completely, without even say anything. My old no. Is in trash, so is my account. And at that time I wasn't not even aware of npd, before leaving I did a whole bunch of Overthinking crap, anyway, I'm glad I made my way out and ran so fucking far. 😂😇
When you have to save yourself from a monster, why tf would you think about how they're going to react, or what they're going to think, just take your shit and run to the hill.
1 month post escape
Forever grateful
Thank you HG... this was my role in the narcissist’s life. I wish I could buy you a drink because you give the best advice like a trusted friend. By implementing your advice, you have saved me from untold misery.
Such good advice me to
Second that, HG's advice is valuable beyond measure. He has helped me and my sister so much
I was the Primary source for my ex Narcissist, who I left in November 2020. He is sleeping with one of his secondary sources (and was during our relationship). This woman (the main secondary source) has always been there for him for the past 6 years. I can't understand the bond they have. He always abused me emotionally and mentally, but says he doesn't feel the need to with her because she is a 'beautiful soul'. Yet, he never makes her his girlfriend for all to see. Why is this?
I have been drinking so much from the well of Tudor lately that I believe I am now marinated!! Thank you HG. You make this lockdown quite enjoyable. :)
You are welcome.
The hoovering is relentless. That to me is yet another indicator I am dealing with a Narcissistic friend.
I have a borderline friend who keeps thinking up trying tricks to get her married narcissist to get a divorce. After she implements her manipulative trick, she keeps giving him deadlines, he keeps giving her excuses and ignores her deadlines. She gets angry calls him names and blocks him, only a few days later she starts texting and calling him asking him to come over. Same thing for 3 years. She hovers him, LOL What a rollercoaster ride that is.
I opened my eyes and ears....d'oh...I love myself more than him...
It is a challenge to get to this point of no contact, but once you do you will know what TRUE freedom is..
One of the best and informative videos yet!
Thanks I definitely needed to hear this and I successfully implemented no contact. It’s so good to be at peace now
Love to hear your voice without the distraction of the music!.. it is so soothing to my soul! Thanks so much for the awesome videos!
See video description.
I was a secondary source, but I had no idea until I found out that he'd married someone else--a former colleague of mine. I never signed up to be groomed as a side piece.
I'm sure , "it" will leave me alone ! He won't dare!! I made it very clear, what I'm thinking about him.. ✌🏻😉
Funny you post this. My ex narc is now in a "poly" relationship. She is the side piece for a married man and she insists its an "Open marriage". She is yapping all over twitter about it but people are not actually responding well to it.
Anything for supply I suppose.
If you applied actual no contact, you wouldn’t even know this
These people are sick! Never talk to them again!
Your life will become… So Beautiful!!!
I got a gift sent to me. Dishes. Exactly the kind I use after a theft. I mentioned the theft to someone on twitter.
It's scary how accurate your analysis is. I ve been iss and dirty little secret, long distance. He was texting every two weeks like clockwork, I stopped texting first for a year now but still responded. That was until last summer when I was at our common home town. I think I delivered a narcissistic injury by cancelling our date and going out with one of his friends and resisted his hoover attempts while I was in town. He still tried to keep our biweekly texting but I stopped answering half the time. He eventually stopped texting. I guess I shouldn't be expecting a comeback or a hoover or is he done because I ve made it harder?
They're never done, they can't take it when someone else leaves them. Be aware, don't look back,
In my case the ex wife he claims he can't stand seems to forever be his primary source. He can't go 3 days without talking to her. She cut him off when she found out we were dating 2 years after they were divorced. He flipped out and blew up her phone. It's crazy.
The urban slang "side peace" got me rolling 😂😂😂
I'm old school country from Texas and we've used that term for forever. It's not Urban slang lol It was just hijacked by them
I'll listen to it... Till it sink into my subconscious. Let it sink in 😇
Great video and I like the background music in this one. It doesn't overpower your message.
Always impressed by your work.
In the back of Walmart 😂
Are former IPPS's considered secondary from then on after disengagement?
One of the narcissists I grew up with- non intimate person- family member- continues to hoover- trying to bypass the no contact. Does this to me and one other family member. It is confusing as to why- but now- after listening to the video- I understand. And I think it's because he doesn't have others to draw fuel from- especially from the other person he tries to hoover. It is very confusing
Somatic narc a obsessed q predator a little different keeps coming after me I had move 5obmiles still comes but I no contact he still try not as much but still he obsessed have you heard this?
Appreciated HG
I always imagined me taking his secondary source, whom I thought was the only fuel, amd smashing her head into a concrete wall...blaming HER..But when she showed up at our home,knocked on the door, as I opened, I could help but see a broken girl, so I told my husband he had a guest amd took them off to school . For some reason, I felt compassion for her, at least the monster married me, she had nothing. I understand so much more about who I married and who I am. This will be the final Narcissist for me. Hr maybe a lesser, I am not sure he knows what he is, he knows he is brilliant.
"she had nothing?" You're actually proud he married you? It's The worst insult ever. She's the lucky one.
H G please would you explain what you mean when you say "corruption of truthseeking or compassion" ? I don't understand
What a painful action
Blah blah blah Making juvenile behavior
sound complicated and exotic.
Exactly!They are like kids,and very predictive.
He's been copying my social media posts for 2 years. What's that? Haha!
Mirroring and trying to get a response/fuel out of you.
Hg I love you but the music is sooooo distracting 😔
Do see the video description, Cherie.
✨
❤️🔥
HG these intimate secondary sources don’t deserve your help... they are weak 1. They clearly lack self respect and self esteem to be happy to “shelved”. 2. they are willingly engaging with a man who is committed, this makes them more toxic than him.
Your observation is simplistic and omits various aspects of this dynamic.
Very childish thinking, BMAME THE VICTIM huh....of a COMMITTED person, laughable LOL, LOL🤣🤣🤣 What makes you think they're committed to anyone?
Primary source is "willingly" having relations with someone who lies, cheats, creates chaos but the primary source has SELF-RESPECT & SELF-ESTEEM 🙃 huh?
I was most likely a secondary source but I didn’t know. She said she was single and she was the one that said she was my girlfriend or nothing. But after the 1st few months during devalue She barely gave me the time of day. Often disappeared. I found out about her harem and heard her say she loves another guy but she still denies it to this day. She still says she was only with me. I honestly can’t tell you if I was a primary or secondary source but after 9 months no contact I was most likely primary for a short time then made into a secondary side guy
@@jessalynrandleel3915 right ‼️‼️‼️