Ex narcs have said to me - You will always have a special place in my heart (In my dungeon) we have history (contract) Your the only only one that i can talk to (Regulate my feelings)
I was his 48 year dirty little secret. Yes, you heard that right, 48 years. I sold my house, went NC all in secret. He hoovers me monthly for last 4 months since move. Youre so spot on HG.
i'm sorry it took so long and happy it is finally gone! YAHsome! Let's see what eternity has in store for YOU now! that you have grown spiritually and ascended as to store so many heavenly treasures, all ready to be used now, and forever. Shalom
Wow Patty you dealt with 48 years ? I was DLS for 5 years and it almost destroyed me. Well done you for getting out, now to tighten up your no contact regime so he can’t hoover you any more ⛔️
@@MsEm-xr8ns i was his DLS for 8 years. First, in his marriage (he lied about when I first met him) - and now, in his new relationship (that isn’t new, but a few years old - didn’t tell me anything). Haven’t seen him since summer last year, but received many hoover attempts. I hate to be a dirty little secret. I’m far more than that, but that’s his snap shot of me and I can never reverse the picture. And if that ever happened, I’m not sure I would like to be the IPPS/main source........-yes, you’ll see the narc much more and is with him, but you will still suffer from all the lies, fabrications, cheating, manipulations and so. You will be in the same depressive state. Your life will be sucked out of you some day and you will live in a perfect picture life that is an illusion.
Your videos are always spot on. And thanks to you I now understand why narcissists are drawn to me as an empath. I left the relationship and cut off toxic friends. Thank you.
When I left my narc-ex and got the initial hoover messages, he was saying things like "Believe me when I say my whole little world is crumbling at the thought of you leaving". Those are the words of a middle-aged man! Even that sentence was all about him. He'd been giving me the silent treatment for a week before I finally left and he was shocked when I actually broke free.
Yeah it is all about them. mine were "I wanted to keep you in my life" 'I said at that time that I am going to keep you as a friend' "It breaks my heart' 'I didn't know you will shun me'
I escaped after he was arrested, now under criminal investigation, lost his £100 000 plus job and his career, lost his house and any contact with me and kids as non- molestation and occupation order are in place. Divorcing. Finally everything what was going on behind doors for 30 years has been revealed. I hope me and children escaped....
HG without these videos and your knowledge I would have MINUMUM stayed another few years....it is crazy what this knowledge does for you...gets you completely out of your emotional thinking...and that's where your power lies
I practice everyday to not apply my emotional thinking and it works wonders , me being a super empath ive learned to own my power and my life has completely changed for the best . HG TUDOR OUT HERE SAVING LIVES !!!! I swear 😉👌🏼
This was extremely useful, thank-you. I finally disengaged from an ex who had kept up occasional contact, it's now obvious, to continue toying with me many years after our more intimate (and mercifully brief) relationship had ended. After one awful face-to-face encounter, I resolved to cut all contact. More by instinct than informed judgement, I told myself not to make any noise about their extreme unpleasantness on that last meeting, even texting them to say thanks for the afternoon's fun. I then stayed quiet as increasingly intermittent texts came in over a two year period, until the self-obsessed creature eventually realised I was ghosting them and I received a rather pathetic "Hey, are you still on this number?" Then they were blocked for good. I don't kid myself; this reputationally successful individual will have had plenty of alternative fuel sources to feed off, plenty of others to provide the fun and games, however I have to admit feeling a certain satisfaction at having put the tiniest dent in their colossal ego by walking away.
I was the primary source. I finally got fed up after 4 years of horrific mistreatment which took a toll on my overall wellbeing and my finances. I ended it during lockdown when the narcissist drove out of the city supposedly to look for work elsewhere. He tried to control me through phone calls and text messages, calling me stupid and I didn't know what I was talking about. He came to get some of his stuff with the cops a month later. He left me with a mess to clean up - a room full of construction garbage. So do I think the ex-narc is thinking about me? No. He got what he wanted out of my place, he was pissed that I, as he put it, 'cut him off' (well DUH!). He left me with a mess to clean up and debt because that is what a low-life like him does as a lower lesser (victim). He is probably laughing at me behind my back with that ugly ogre-like snarly face and a mouth in which at least half his teeth are missing. I don't miss any of that ugliness or his nasty behaviour.
I escaped the Narc. Abruptly during the second week of the devaluation phase. Emailed him a searing email, drove his insecurities in his face hard! Called him out, then Cut all contacts, blocked him. It has been 5 weeks. Haven’t heard from him yet. 😅😊
During the reading of one of your most helpful videos, I have learned that the whole thing was a sham. And I have closely and honestly verified this is true. Instead of making like a New Years resolution about it, I want to stop the waste of a lot of time and live my life with fearlessness
Escaped. He hovered for six months. He began absent/away silent tx. Triangles. Gaslight. I called every ba bs. He threw his computer onto the wall broke it. That was 11/01/19. No contact since.
I was the primary source for one year. He lived in my home. I discarded him 14 months ago in a very public manner with no warning whatsoever, humiliating him (I wanted witnesses so he couldn't distort the breakup story). I had planned it all. Everyone was telling me what he was doing behind my back, including lying, cheating and smearing me to people who care about me. His best friend even told me that I was too good to him and he didn't deserve it. His boss told me about his lies and cheating. He continually smeared me in front of his boss and co-workers. I was shocked and hurt by these things, but I was also pissed off. He's tried to hoover many times in public. When he had the nerve to speak, I immediately called him out on his BS and lies in front of everyone. He doesn't speak anymore. He just appears on occasion and glares at me. LOL. He tried triangulating with a new supply once. I truly felt sorry for her because I knew she had no idea what she was in for with him. She went to the restroom at one point and he spoke to me then. I very loudly asked him if he ever intended to pay me back the $ he owed me...once again, humiliating him in public. He even bought a luxury car just like mine a few months after I discarded him, same color and all, only an older and less expensive model. He's pathetic. Blocked and deleted everywhere. He has no way of contacting me except in public and he doesn't dare speak anymore. He has tried to cause problems for me by writing anonymous letters to a male friend's wife, insinuating my friend was having an affair with me, which is a lie. The narc was always jealous of our friendship. We're all laughing about this futile, desperate attempt. Everyone is figuring out the loser because his BS is so blatant now. He's not well-liked. He told me once, not long before I discarded him, that he feared he had met his match with me. He was being condescending and I knew it, because absolutely no one could match his level of expertise. Lol. I simply smiled sweetly and told him I had no idea what he was talking about in my most innocent voice. I was thinking though, 'no sweetheart, you haven't met your match. You're far out of your league and you don't even know it...yet.' (Thanks dear ol' daddy, the epitome of abusive covert narcissists in my life, for causing me to learn how to deal with your kind.) #survivalmode #restinpiss Sometimes they f*** with the wrong empath. I told the nex once, "Bring it, bitch. Let's play." He should have reconsidered me then.
We love them with everything but we can also be their worst nightmare. Good for you for standing up for yourself and you can hold your head high because you did it the right way, nothing underhanded like those coward's 💕
I am subject to a malice campaign. I left and he didn't have the source readily available. This explains so much as I couldn't believe how vindictive he became.
It was definitely not a breakup...it was an escape...a literal fight for my life for sure...she was still holding on....NC I'm done being off and on..I deserve real commitment! And i hope she suffered i was the IPS of a lesser i know she has a hard time with connections but I'm not a punching bag
Recently, I ended my 3 year long situationship with the narcissist as his IPSS/DLS. I'd had enough of being treated like one of his dolls on the shelf. In the end, I took myself off of the shelf, and I tried to speak my truth in a kind way. I still loved him, after all. He didn't take me seriously (nothing new there) His response was to lash out at me by spilling his "truth" confiding that he'd "fallen deeply in love" (with a girl) that "came out of nowhere," made him the happiest that he'd ever been... and then disappeared. He said that he didn't care if I stayed or left, he just wanted "that' back. I think this was also a pity play. I'm not gonna' lie. It hurt like hell... but it was the dose of reality that I needed to go no contact for real.
I did escape . I was pregnant with his child . He kept running out on me . In and out . He asked me to keep the baby . But he ran out on me . I live next door to him and his mother . She would harass me when I walked by . I finally got a lawyer and moved . His mother asked me what I was doing . I refused to say anything . I moved away . I decided for the sake of my baby . To get the child away from being raised in a toxic situation . I moved away . I gave my child up for adoption . I now remember the flying monkeys
Only reason I haven't applied a full digital no contact is that Narc knows my address and I don't want her showing up at my home or sending me gifts. I thought it will be better if she makes failed hoover attempts through Whatsapp only and then gets tired and stop. I have realised with your videos that it will never stop. She will keep texting after every 2-3 months. I am going to block her and take a leap of faith. Lets hope she doesn't annoy me.
I'm the one who escaped. 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 Implemented No contact 😉 There was hoover attempting over flying monkeys by sending messages how good person was I, which I agree with, and that she want to be friend with me or to put me on the shelf like all exes. My God, how good it is when you understand all mechanisms and when you can recognize them. My life is better in all aspects of life beyond compare. I don't care whether she thinks of on me or not. I do understand all that you're saying and it's really very useful for all people who are in any kind of relationship with narcissist. Insight from insider like you Ultra is priceless. Keep up with exceptional good work! Thanks once again.
The narc acted as if he didn't want to date me, which was fine. Had a birthday party for my birthday and he was just cool. I made the mistake of taking him with me to look at a condo I wanted to buy and voila. He fell in love ❣️. He started love-bombing me. Tried to rush the relationship, tried to force it, wanted to move in, and even talked about marriage. My instincts were on point. He was just looking for someone to use. He has no id, bad credit, criminal history/record, but wanted to "share" my life with his. His mask slipped several times and I disengaged. He told me that he didn't want to be friends. I agreed and went on. He tried to hoover me a few days later and I didn't respond. He stated he was miserable without me and I kept him sane and kept him going. He cared o much for me. Yeah, right. Cared so much that he was with another woman or women, gone for days at a time. When I used to open my door I would always see him. Now, he's NOWHERE to be found now. I move this month. So glad.
I've always thought I got discarded but I really think I escaped first then he made it seen like he disengaged me because he put into place the other woman he had been grooming. He hooverd me hard...physically...right after & I never waivered so he ended up moving in with her & backed off. Idk if he thinks about me or not? I cared at first but could careless now! Thank you HG! You're the best! ❤
i can definitely relate to ur situation ive been through that with the narc and his new chick i also post content on mi channel "Experiences with narcs" surrounding narcissist from mi personal encounters with them
He weren’t just my partner he was my bestie but I’d never seen this side in all the years I’ve known him once I was in the relationship I saw notice , walked away couple of times this is our longest separation with no contact I gave him my soul and trashed it
My ex narc (children's father) still has the "alienated by him" grown children so he will i assume have the reminder. However, the daughter has got a new machine that works as her mother and calls her that too on social media. This is because she never formed a bond with me her mother. Moreover, her father taught her I was there in service to them not as a mother.
He’s a coworker on a different shift and he still tries to get my attention. He knows when I arrive at work so he takes his last break and waits and watches. Follows me around. Still trying to make me jealous and get under my skin. I don’t look at him. I pretend he doesn’t exist.
I escaped during sustained devaluation, I'm positive he had replacements. I may have been made the secondary at that point. He hoovered but it wasn't grand and was short lived. Fine by me...I've been no contact for at least 6 weeks despite receiving a 6 page email letter and then a lame note inside of a thank you card. I'm sure I'll hear again in another 30 days, i intend to ignore and/or share the proof that will expose him!
HG.. new here... what happens when a narc has medical emergency.. mine went into cardiac arrest, coma for 8 days, heart pump placed and now needs heart teansplant.. we were together for 10 years.. I had broken up with him the month before.. once I found out about his condition..im the one that took him to hospital..I didn't leave his side.. when he woke up I found out he had 3 other sources.. I stayed to see him through this life and death situation..fell back in love with him, all the while he became intensely aweful to me in front of family and friends, became physically abusive, financially abusive ( quit my 10 year job to take care of him, now totally dependant on him..) stayed until he was independant and left.. ( that was 18 months ago.) Now his heart pump has been recalled by the manufacturer...yes I researched to make sure this wasn't a lie..his heart transplant is more urgently needed..he wants me to be his caregiver..he is in a relationship with one of the women he cheated on me with... she won't do it..supposedly.. what is going on in his head..give it to me straight.
Malice campaign. This scares the fuck out of me. He is 70 and I provided tons of secondary sources of supply as well as the IPPS. (Income, status, etc.) Yet LEO and the judicial system don’t believe me. 💚💜
I noticed the signs of coming discard and planed escape in such „weak“ moments. It has happen, I‘m no contact. I consider it as final discard... I wanted not to use escape too early to avoid the smear campaign. I understood to avoid smear campaign is not provoking it = I keep quiet „do not move“ , stay no contact since ca. one week. Should I do something else HG ?
After 9 years of marriage to a narcissist, I escaped and moved to another country. Under 12 years, he tried to hoover me and asked my hand in marriage, I never went back to him. I am not a masochist , and than he died of a broken 💔 he told our friends, because I was the love of his life 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Only God knows that I went through with that son of Satan in his own country 💔.
Unbelievable. (Some examples of this rare breed in the story I tried to make as short as I could below) My ex husband and mom are both narcissistic. I escaped and they Def acted in malice. They took my kids and everything they could down to my shelter .luckily I still live 5 rys later in the house of a man who witnessed this and that they didn't plan for and therfore he saw thru them and is my only support. They are so powerful they turned everything I ever knew against me they have ties in politics and justice system. No one will.listen and I'm accused of being the crazy one. The Removal of my children was absolutely ridiculous and corrupt as can be to a child even. Obvious false accusations. Lawyers won't even give me the time due to connections with my family. The same thing was done to my father with me as a child. So I chose to transform and unlearn the traits I was raised with. I recorded myself to correct objectively and realized the more I fought a false court order that wasn't even followed the more energy they had access to. My action could have been godly and they would mange to twist it against me. I walked away to focus on me so my kids can have what I didn't after i was abandoned. A mother. They already see thru alot but respect that I refuse to uproot their lives cuz of.revenge. their happiness and safety is my concern. Maybe they are physically safe but not mentally. Weighing the options it still was the best way also having the knowing I did raise them and they are wonderful. I keep in touch with my oldest and only daughter 18, who keeps me updated and passes messages to my middle 16 yr old son. My youngest is too little and it's hidden from the family so he is too young and would say something. Isn't that sickening that my daughter has to sneak to talk to me ? Im heartbroken. I fought tooth and nail up.until I realized it wasn't healthy and i needed to break this cycle of behaviors.but my little man was by my side as much as could get him he's so smart and is affected tremendously. I was fighting at one point for full custody of him. He voiced it loud and clear and cried while clinging to me the times i couldn't make him laugh when i took him back. I had the harshest restrictions and jumpred thru hoops till i was depleated again. Its been 7 months since i spoke.or saw him and not one person answers. Doors slammed in face. I couldnt make this up if i tried. Talking to my daughter and hesrin4g hes happy is my sanity and I learned to be grateful for all even the small moments of communication. Its better than nothing. The concept of Taking them out of the environment they have been in without me for 3 yrs is asking for behavior issues amongst the countless other things. Thru my healing I accepted that my children have to live their own experience and see the truth themselves. My dad tried to tell me too then. I naturally am urged to do the same .but truth is I never listened to him and actually disliked him extremely due to the brain washing of my mom. Now my dad and i get along but I wouldn't say we are healed. My mom was so toxic he won't even get involved to help me cuz of her drama. He's remarried and in TX. I live in PA. I know my children as well as the life they live right now cuz it's my upgraded childhood. Innocently happy. And their hearts will break when the truth that their love was bought like mine. But I'm here to pick up those pieces and I'm better than I've ever been. I am a self learned healer,astrologer and life coach. I worked in psychiatric units and trained in therapy for years before i got sick (misdiagnosed) i was taken out of work due to my health but also i needed surgery on my neck and back before i was allowed back. My ex strung me along bit by bit strategizing each moment when he'd pull.another stunt just as i thought things got better or quiet. Day before my second to last procedure he cancels my Ins that he. Promised he'd keep till i went back to work. And again I just stood back up and self educated to keep.myself going i became a total new person and it shocks me as I even write this still. But my goal is being the role model my kids need as well as others. I didn't realize till.i got out how bad it was. I left to get clean due to dependency from misdiagnosis and stress within the home. I was losing myself and had an opportunity to stay with a friend. I got clean on my own cuz i didnt want the label for my kids sake. This town talks alot. Over 4 yrs clean. In the toxic enviornment i was being enabled. I was also degraded along with all the other classic traits the narcs have upon leaving they all were supportive till it made them look bad and bam the begging for me back turned into a matter of reputation and divorce papers were served and also signed fraudulently. So never got anything from a 14 yr marriage. Not a cent or any household items. Basically every time I stand back up they strike again. I am convinced there was even a hit and that's someone else telling me. I had to accept it because of the proof that convinced me. Crazy thing about alot of this is I never even knew the depth of what a narcissist was until after I left and saw it from and outside view. I was physically ill for over a month. I had no idea I had this strength or freedom to live without asking permission. When it's all u know and they go out of their way to make it seem normal what can u do besides heal. And I did.. I learned how to heal others cuz I was tricked outta ins. Now things are starting to shift. I, as u see, am no longer silent and I apologize for the skipping around here and sloppy story telling. Im a writer when its not 4 am and im rested. I just had to comment something. but I need to practice telling this. This needs to be exposed to help others raise awareness cuz it's everywhere and also to bring a long overdue justice. I don't blame or point fingers. We are all on a journey of learning and I realize they still have a lot of self reflecting and growth on their part. I once was learning lessons too and I won't judge another without feeling like I judge myself. I still desire to help them see their wrong doings and accept and forgive themselves so they can. Move on as well. So that's a very short version of what I could remember from everything to sum up malice. He goes nuts trying to ruin me. My children are my everything but I know he didn't think I had this strength and he's shocked. Not noticeable yet to others of course but I know. My kids look like me especially my daughter is me when I was her age so he sees me daily and lives in the house and has all my things smh. He won't ever stop as long as I'm succeeding. He has paid ppl to try and set me up, hacked my Facebook and made a convo with somrone to incriminate me. Hacked my apple account and emails ruining my reputation anyway he can. Tbh most of it is my mom being the ring leader. I isolated and was off grid. If I don't move forward they don't. In for a surprise very soon. God bless all victims of this and wish me luck. I've been working on a video of testimony. It's a work in progress.
Escaped, kicked him out, initial grand hoover never came, share children, incomplete no contact though firm boundaries re: conversation, arguments, malice, smearing, threats, for over a year regularly, he had a relationship short term for a few months, im confused is this the rarity you mentioned?!?
Question HG. i saw him in court after 3 years. He stared at me and waited for me and held the door open. Was this an indirect hoover? He has a whole gf. And i tried to throw him in jail
If you want to heal and be happy, you'll definitely stay out. I kept holding onto hope that I was wrong, believing he really wanted to work on himself for us...wasted so much more time, and got hurt over and over. I wish I could tell you this and know you'll heed my words, but the fact is, you're gonna do what you're gonna do...hopefully it won't take as long for you. When you're done, you're done.
I just went No Contact for the second time. He Hoover me the first time. This time no, I’m already replaced I believe. At the end of relationship he was different,
Yep. When I escaped from his dark, lying, cheating world he lamented that I had used a ruse to do so. Whatever. I am not calculative, I am simply a girl, who got tired to be messed with.
HG what if all you want from the narcissist is occasional sex? No other interactions, not living together, no "relationship"? Just a hook up. Seems perfect.
Ijuu the malice campaign is malice indeed how do i get it to stop. I want nothing to do with im not responding or reacting to any of it im focused on my journey. But it still is disturbing and hurtful.
It’s been 2 years and the narc I dealt with is still stalking me. I don’t and haven’t done anything. I’ve stayed out of all 5 spheres of influence. I’ve done everything. I don’t know if he has someone or not but why is he still being a damn stalker?
You are entering the sixth sphere of influence, you have no control over that. However, the Hoover Execution Criteria are being reached and thus you are being hoovered which tells me your no contact regime is not good enough. I recommend you consult with me and I will vet your circumstances and advise you of where you are going wrong in order to solve this problem.
@@hgtudor-theultra I have an e-commerce store and I have a social media page for the store. I post goods online and to help generate traffic, I share it on the FB page I created for the store itself. He stalks the e-commerce pages FB. It’s crazy how long he’s been doing it. I deactivated my email, changed my phone number and deactivated my personal social media pages. Prior to changing my email he tried to hack it, he’s showed up to my aunts house and created multiple social media pages to contact me, that too was before I deactivated my social media. He says he was on drugs and that’s why he behaves the way he did. That’s a lie. I remember what he did and he did it too easily and what he did was intentional. That man is the devil. Thx clarity, HG.
I miss him he's become a mood swing. I became forgotten when I went too much no contact Forgotten he needed fuel. Now I only stare at my phone trying bits of ur information as fuel. Very sorry.
Can you do a video on when the IPPS & the Secondary PP get together. Mainly the 2nd found out and informed the Primary. And now neither speak to the Narcissist. The Narcissist told #2 that he & #1 are together & to move on. But that, like all else, is a lie. Obviously he is onto the shelf person or finding a new Primary. Just wondered how upset that #2 made #1 turn on him. Thanks.
Throw my exnarc out... he hit me... 7 month ago...four weeks after he had new supply...4 days before he told the world.. he said I was everything... during this 7 month he have texted me four times... saying he still loves me....wants to be my friend... and find ways to see me......now silence since a longer time......
You realize that you're just empathically capturing and exploring the feeling of how it might be to live inside of a narcissist using your imagination. It's called channeling a Spirit. It's not a big deal Christians do it call the time except we do it with the Holy Spirit. It's called being smart enough to be on the right team. Fear of empathy causes fear of death - ya its called going through the cross we do it all the time. Often described as being born again. Ever hear of it, because narcissists get healed constantly. Anything to hard for God? What's the big deal about changing your mind? We get so much fuel from so many different directions and new and creative way we didn't even think of ourselves that we have to give it away. It actually seems like the less I do the more fuel I get. I'm practically bathing in it.
Abandonment at its finest f you call that bro that was in the kitchen that you are on your knees being rude to me on top of just call him or isn't he picking up😅
Ex narcs have said to me - You will always have a special place in my heart (In my dungeon) we have history (contract) Your the only only one that i can talk to (Regulate my feelings)
And such as: "you mean everything to me. You are my heart! You are my life!"
OUCH!!
Have a YAHsome day!
Omg exact words I got told
I've heard all those lines too!
Always have a special place in my heart hahah. She said those exact words!! Xxx
Mine literally told me that we are a God given gifts to one another. Never in my wildest dreams I imagined to receive such gift.
I was his 48 year dirty little secret. Yes, you heard that right, 48 years. I sold my house, went NC all in secret. He hoovers me monthly for last 4 months since move. Youre so spot on HG.
i'm sorry it took so long and happy it is finally gone! YAHsome! Let's see what eternity has in store for YOU now! that you have grown spiritually and ascended as to store so many heavenly treasures, all ready to be used now, and forever.
Shalom
Wow Patty you dealt with 48 years ? I was DLS for 5 years and it almost destroyed me.
Well done you for getting out, now to tighten up your no contact regime so he can’t hoover you any more ⛔️
@@MsEm-xr8ns i was his DLS for 8 years. First, in his marriage (he lied about when I first met him) - and now, in his new relationship (that isn’t new, but a few years old - didn’t tell me anything). Haven’t seen him since summer last year, but received many hoover attempts. I hate to be a dirty little secret. I’m far more than that, but that’s his snap shot of me and I can never reverse the picture. And if that ever happened, I’m not sure I would like to be the IPPS/main source........-yes, you’ll see the narc much more and is with him, but you will still suffer from all the lies, fabrications, cheating, manipulations and so. You will be in the same depressive state. Your life will be sucked out of you some day and you will live in a perfect picture life that is an illusion.
Your videos are always spot on. And thanks to you I now understand why narcissists are drawn to me as an empath. I left the relationship and cut off toxic friends. Thank you.
You are so welcome
@@hgtudor-theultra 😌
When I left my narc-ex and got the initial hoover messages, he was saying things like "Believe me when I say my whole little world is crumbling at the thought of you leaving". Those are the words of a middle-aged man! Even that sentence was all about him. He'd been giving me the silent treatment for a week before I finally left and he was shocked when I actually broke free.
Yeah it is all about them. mine were
"I wanted to keep you in my life"
'I said at that time that I am going to keep you as a friend'
"It breaks my heart'
'I didn't know you will shun me'
I escaped after he was arrested, now under criminal investigation, lost his £100 000 plus job and his career, lost his house and any contact with me and kids as non- molestation and occupation order are in place. Divorcing. Finally everything what was going on behind doors for 30 years has been revealed. I hope me and children escaped....
HG without these videos and your knowledge I would have MINUMUM stayed another few years....it is crazy what this knowledge does for you...gets you completely out of your emotional thinking...and that's where your power lies
Good to read.
I practice everyday to not apply my emotional thinking and it works wonders , me being a super empath ive learned to own my power and my life has completely changed for the best . HG TUDOR OUT HERE SAVING LIVES !!!! I swear 😉👌🏼
Took me 7 years on and off HG, I haven't talked to him since February of this year, 10 whole months! Ghosted his ass. Left without any explanation.
mine was in April 27th. during lock down she made me and my 15 yr old son homeless for defending my kids against her abuse.
Yay you!
This was extremely useful, thank-you. I finally disengaged from an ex who had kept up occasional contact, it's now obvious, to continue toying with me many years after our more intimate (and mercifully brief) relationship had ended. After one awful face-to-face encounter, I resolved to cut all contact. More by instinct than informed judgement, I told myself not to make any noise about their extreme unpleasantness on that last meeting, even texting them to say thanks for the afternoon's fun. I then stayed quiet as increasingly intermittent texts came in over a two year period, until the self-obsessed creature eventually realised I was ghosting them and I received a rather pathetic "Hey, are you still on this number?" Then they were blocked for good. I don't kid myself; this reputationally successful individual will have had plenty of alternative fuel sources to feed off, plenty of others to provide the fun and games, however I have to admit feeling a certain satisfaction at having put the tiniest dent in their colossal ego by walking away.
Once I knew I didn't need him to feel love for myself it made it easier to block him and I never looked back
I was the primary source. I finally got fed up after 4 years of horrific mistreatment which took a toll on my overall wellbeing and my finances. I ended it during lockdown when the narcissist drove out of the city supposedly to look for work elsewhere. He tried to control me through phone calls and text messages, calling me stupid and I didn't know what I was talking about. He came to get some of his stuff with the cops a month later. He left me with a mess to clean up - a room full of construction garbage. So do I think the ex-narc is thinking about me? No. He got what he wanted out of my place, he was pissed that I, as he put it, 'cut him off' (well DUH!). He left me with a mess to clean up and debt because that is what a low-life like him does as a lower lesser (victim). He is probably laughing at me behind my back with that ugly ogre-like snarly face and a mouth in which at least half his teeth are missing. I don't miss any of that ugliness or his nasty behaviour.
Ironically Primary or IPPS always
get the brutal brunt
but that works both ways if
they abandon first
I escaped the Narc. Abruptly during the second week of the devaluation phase.
Emailed him a searing email, drove his insecurities in his face hard! Called him out, then Cut all contacts, blocked him.
It has been 5 weeks. Haven’t heard from him yet. 😅😊
During the reading of one of your most helpful videos, I have learned that the whole thing was a sham. And I have closely and honestly verified this is true. Instead of making like a New Years resolution about it, I want to stop the waste of a lot of time and live my life with fearlessness
Sensible.
@@hgtudor-theultra and real!!!!
Escaped. He hovered for six months. He began absent/away silent tx. Triangles. Gaslight. I called every ba bs. He threw his computer onto the wall broke it. That was 11/01/19. No contact since.
I caught him in the lies, dumped him and then Destroyed everything he owned-I win! 😈 No one has the power over me!
I win? you sound like a narcissist 😄
I was the primary source for one year. He lived in my home. I discarded him 14 months ago in a very public manner with no warning whatsoever, humiliating him (I wanted witnesses so he couldn't distort the breakup story). I had planned it all. Everyone was telling me what he was doing behind my back, including lying, cheating and smearing me to people who care about me. His best friend even told me that I was too good to him and he didn't deserve it. His boss told me about his lies and cheating. He continually smeared me in front of his boss and co-workers. I was shocked and hurt by these things, but I was also pissed off.
He's tried to hoover many times in public. When he had the nerve to speak, I immediately called him out on his BS and lies in front of everyone. He doesn't speak anymore. He just appears on occasion and glares at me. LOL. He tried triangulating with a new supply once. I truly felt sorry for her because I knew she had no idea what she was in for with him. She went to the restroom at one point and he spoke to me then. I very loudly asked him if he ever intended to pay me back the $ he owed me...once again, humiliating him in public. He even bought a luxury car just like mine a few months after I discarded him, same color and all, only an older and less expensive model.
He's pathetic. Blocked and deleted everywhere. He has no way of contacting me except in public and he doesn't dare speak anymore. He has tried to cause problems for me by writing anonymous letters to a male friend's wife, insinuating my friend was having an affair with me, which is a lie. The narc was always jealous of our friendship. We're all laughing about this futile, desperate attempt. Everyone is figuring out the loser because his BS is so blatant now. He's not well-liked.
He told me once, not long before I discarded him, that he feared he had met his match with me. He was being condescending and I knew it, because absolutely no one could match his level of expertise. Lol. I simply smiled sweetly and told him I had no idea what he was talking about in my most innocent voice. I was thinking though, 'no sweetheart, you haven't met your match. You're far out of your league and you don't even know it...yet.'
(Thanks dear ol' daddy, the epitome of abusive covert narcissists in my life, for causing me to learn how to deal with your kind.) #survivalmode #restinpiss
Sometimes they f*** with the wrong empath. I told the nex once, "Bring it, bitch. Let's play." He should have reconsidered me then.
We love them with everything but we can also be their worst nightmare. Good for you for standing up for yourself and you can hold your head high because you did it the right way, nothing underhanded like those coward's 💕
"Bring it bitch". 🤣🤣🤣 Golden
I am subject to a malice campaign. I left and he didn't have the source readily available. This explains so much as I couldn't believe how vindictive he became.
It was definitely not a breakup...it was an escape...a literal fight for my life for sure...she was still holding on....NC I'm done being off and on..I deserve real commitment! And i hope she suffered i was the IPS of a lesser i know she has a hard time with connections but I'm not a punching bag
HG just saved me from a grand hoover. Wow! Thank you, HG!
Recently, I ended my 3 year long situationship with the narcissist as his IPSS/DLS. I'd had enough of being treated like one of his dolls on the shelf. In the end, I took myself off of the shelf, and I tried to speak my truth in a kind way. I still loved him, after all. He didn't take me seriously (nothing new there) His response was to lash out at me by spilling his "truth" confiding that he'd "fallen deeply in love" (with a girl) that "came out of nowhere," made him the happiest that he'd ever been... and then disappeared. He said that he didn't care if I stayed or left, he just wanted "that' back.
I think this was also a pity play. I'm not gonna' lie. It hurt like hell... but it was the dose of reality that I needed to go no contact for real.
Same story damn near!!!
I did escape . I was pregnant with his child . He kept running out on me . In and out . He asked me to keep the baby . But he ran out on me . I live next door to him and his mother . She would harass me when I walked by . I finally got a lawyer and moved . His mother asked me what I was doing . I refused to say anything .
I moved away . I decided for the sake of my baby . To get the child away from being raised in a toxic situation . I moved away . I gave my child up for adoption . I now remember the flying monkeys
Thanks for saying to everyone well done if we have escaped... You are a very professional and logical man!!....
Only reason I haven't applied a full digital no contact is that Narc knows my address and I don't want her showing up at my home or sending me gifts. I thought it will be better if she makes failed hoover attempts through Whatsapp only and then gets tired and stop. I have realised with your videos that it will never stop. She will keep texting after every 2-3 months. I am going to block her and take a leap of faith. Lets hope she doesn't annoy me.
I'm the one who escaped. 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂
Implemented No contact 😉
There was hoover attempting over flying monkeys by sending messages how good person was I, which I agree with, and that she want to be friend with me or to put me on the shelf like all exes. My God, how good it is when you understand all mechanisms and when you can recognize them. My life is better in all aspects of life beyond compare. I don't care whether she thinks of on me or not. I do understand all that you're saying and it's really very useful for all people who are in any kind of relationship with narcissist. Insight from insider like you Ultra is priceless. Keep up with exceptional good work! Thanks once again.
The narc acted as if he didn't want to date me, which was fine. Had a birthday party for my birthday and he was just cool. I made the mistake of taking him with me to look at a condo I wanted to buy and voila. He fell in love ❣️. He started love-bombing me. Tried to rush the relationship, tried to force it, wanted to move in, and even talked about marriage. My instincts were on point. He was just looking for someone to use. He has no id, bad credit, criminal history/record, but wanted to "share" my life with his. His mask slipped several times and I disengaged. He told me that he didn't want to be friends. I agreed and went on. He tried to hoover me a few days later and I didn't respond. He stated he was miserable without me and I kept him sane and kept him going. He cared o much for me. Yeah, right. Cared so much that he was with another woman or women, gone for days at a time. When I used to open my door I would always see him. Now, he's NOWHERE to be found now. I move this month. So glad.
I've always thought I got discarded but I really think I escaped first then he made it seen like he disengaged me because he put into place the other woman he had been grooming. He hooverd me hard...physically...right after & I never waivered so he ended up moving in with her & backed off. Idk if he thinks about me or not? I cared at first but could careless now! Thank you HG! You're the best! ❤
i can definitely relate to ur situation ive been through that with the narc and his new chick i also post content on mi channel "Experiences with narcs" surrounding narcissist from mi personal encounters with them
Thank you, I had to watch this video about 4 times, but now it is clear.
He weren’t just my partner he was my bestie but I’d never seen this side in all the years I’ve known him once I was in the relationship I saw notice , walked away couple of times this is our longest separation with no contact I gave him my soul and trashed it
I understand that feeling. I thought he was my best friend too - but I couldn’t have a worse enemy
ikr.. i thought he was my friend!! we had a thirty yr history!!!
I will let them say what thay want just leave me alone that's all i want and I'm getting it 😁
Makes sense why my ex left me, but still came over 2-3 nights a week for 2 years.
So many subliminal & ineverdent ways ex narcs showed their true nature of the narc covenant.
HG I just want to say hello to you
My ex narc (children's father) still has the "alienated by him" grown children so he will i assume have the reminder. However, the daughter has got a new machine that works as her mother and calls her that too on social media. This is because she never formed a bond with me her mother. Moreover, her father taught her I was there in service to them not as a mother.
He’s a coworker on a different shift and he still tries to get my attention. He knows when I arrive at work so he takes his last break and waits and watches. Follows me around. Still trying to make me jealous and get under my skin. I don’t look at him. I pretend he doesn’t exist.
Wow there is DEFINITELY A malice campaign against me... and I don’t know how to deal with it I just want this person gone forever
give it to GOD
Won’t be treated like that is there a cue for this? I do love him but I’m too old for this dark side I want to be happy so I’ve got to let go
Even if he could change he’d choose not too
Leave during the Golden period devaluing them B4 they devalue you
Exactly what told ex narc
Better love lose especially find real true love
Amen
I escaped during sustained devaluation, I'm positive he had replacements. I may have been made the secondary at that point. He hoovered but it wasn't grand and was short lived. Fine by me...I've been no contact for at least 6 weeks despite receiving a 6 page email letter and then a lame note inside of a thank you card. I'm sure I'll hear again in another 30 days, i intend to ignore and/or share the proof that will expose him!
You have 666k subscribers. That’s dark.
Impossible: 40K subs.
This is what I am concerned about...I ran almost a year ago and still getting emails. I do not know if he has a new supply or not.
HG.. new here... what happens when a narc has medical emergency.. mine went into cardiac arrest, coma for 8 days, heart pump placed and now needs heart teansplant.. we were together for 10 years.. I had broken up with him the month before.. once I found out about his condition..im the one that took him to hospital..I didn't leave his side.. when he woke up I found out he had 3 other sources.. I stayed to see him through this life and death situation..fell back in love with him, all the while he became intensely aweful to me in front of family and friends, became physically abusive, financially abusive ( quit my 10 year job to take care of him, now totally dependant on him..) stayed until he was independant and left.. ( that was 18 months ago.) Now his heart pump has been recalled by the manufacturer...yes I researched to make sure this wasn't a lie..his heart transplant is more urgently needed..he wants me to be his caregiver..he is in a relationship with one of the women he cheated on me with... she won't do it..supposedly.. what is going on in his head..give it to me straight.
Malice campaign. This scares the fuck out of me. He is 70 and I provided tons of secondary sources of supply as well as the IPPS. (Income, status, etc.) Yet LEO and the judicial system don’t believe me. 💚💜
I noticed the signs of coming discard and planed escape in such „weak“ moments. It has happen, I‘m no contact. I consider it as final discard... I wanted not to use escape too early to avoid the smear campaign. I understood to avoid smear campaign is not provoking it = I keep quiet „do not move“ , stay no contact since ca. one week. Should I do something else HG ?
After 9 years of marriage to a narcissist, I escaped and moved to another country. Under 12 years, he tried to hoover me and asked my hand in marriage, I never went back to him. I am not a masochist , and than he died of a broken 💔 he told our friends, because I was the love of his life 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂. Only God knows that I went through with that son of Satan in his own country 💔.
Oh oh 😱 I thought the answer would be a no- this will be harder 😢
I count the months I've gone no contact.
Unbelievable. (Some examples of this rare breed in the story I tried to make as short as I could below)
My ex husband and mom are both narcissistic. I escaped and they Def acted in malice. They took my kids and everything they could down to my shelter .luckily I still live 5 rys later in the house of a man who witnessed this and that they didn't plan for and therfore he saw thru them and is my only support. They are so powerful they turned everything I ever knew against me they have ties in politics and justice system. No one will.listen and I'm accused of being the crazy one. The Removal of my children was absolutely ridiculous and corrupt as can be to a child even. Obvious false accusations. Lawyers won't even give me the time due to connections with my family. The same thing was done to my father with me as a child. So I chose to transform and unlearn the traits I was raised with. I recorded myself to correct objectively and realized the more I fought a false court order that wasn't even followed the more energy they had access to. My action could have been godly and they would mange to twist it against me. I walked away to focus on me so my kids can have what I didn't after i was abandoned. A mother. They already see thru alot but respect that I refuse to uproot their lives cuz of.revenge. their happiness and safety is my concern. Maybe they are physically safe but not mentally. Weighing the options it still was the best way also having the knowing I did raise them and they are wonderful. I keep in touch with my oldest and only daughter 18, who keeps me updated and passes messages to my middle 16 yr old son. My youngest is too little and it's hidden from the family so he is too young and would say something. Isn't that sickening that my daughter has to sneak to talk to me ? Im heartbroken. I fought tooth and nail up.until I realized it wasn't healthy and i needed to break this cycle of behaviors.but my little man was by my side as much as could get him he's so smart and is affected tremendously. I was fighting at one point for full custody of him. He voiced it loud and clear and cried while clinging to me the times i couldn't make him laugh when i took him back. I had the harshest restrictions and jumpred thru hoops till i was depleated again. Its been 7 months since i spoke.or saw him and not one person answers. Doors slammed in face. I couldnt make this up if i tried. Talking to my daughter and hesrin4g hes happy is my sanity and I learned to be grateful for all even the small moments of communication. Its better than nothing.
The concept of Taking them out of the environment they have been in without me for 3 yrs is asking for behavior issues amongst the countless other things. Thru my healing I accepted that my children have to live their own experience and see the truth themselves. My dad tried to tell me too then. I naturally am urged to do the same .but truth is I never listened to him and actually disliked him extremely due to the brain washing of my mom. Now my dad and i get along but I wouldn't say we are healed. My mom was so toxic he won't even get involved to help me cuz of her drama. He's remarried and in TX. I live in PA. I know my children as well as the life they live right now cuz it's my upgraded childhood. Innocently happy. And their hearts will break when the truth that their love was bought like mine. But I'm here to pick up those pieces and I'm better than I've ever been. I am a self learned healer,astrologer and life coach. I worked in psychiatric units and trained in therapy for years before i got sick (misdiagnosed) i was taken out of work due to my health but also i needed surgery on my neck and back before i was allowed back. My ex strung me along bit by bit strategizing each moment when he'd pull.another stunt just as i thought things got better or quiet. Day before my second to last procedure he cancels my Ins that he. Promised he'd keep till i went back to work. And again I just stood back up and self educated to keep.myself going i became a total new person and it shocks me as I even write this still. But my goal is being the role model my kids need as well as others. I didn't realize till.i got out how bad it was. I left to get clean due to dependency from misdiagnosis and stress within the home. I was losing myself and had an opportunity to stay with a friend. I got clean on my own cuz i didnt want the label for my kids sake. This town talks alot. Over 4 yrs clean. In the toxic enviornment i was being enabled. I was also degraded along with all the other classic traits the narcs have upon leaving they all were supportive till it made them look bad and bam the begging for me back turned into a matter of reputation and divorce papers were served and also signed fraudulently. So never got anything from a 14 yr marriage. Not a cent or any household items. Basically every time I stand back up they strike again. I am convinced there was even a hit and that's someone else telling me. I had to accept it because of the proof that convinced me. Crazy thing about alot of this is I never even knew the depth of what a narcissist was until after I left and saw it from and outside view. I was physically ill for over a month. I had no idea I had this strength or freedom to live without asking permission. When it's all u know and they go out of their way to make it seem normal what can u do besides heal. And I did.. I learned how to heal others cuz I was tricked outta ins. Now things are starting to shift. I, as u see, am no longer silent and I apologize for the skipping around here and sloppy story telling. Im a writer when its not 4 am and im rested. I just had to comment something. but I need to practice telling this. This needs to be exposed to help others raise awareness cuz it's everywhere and also to bring a long overdue justice. I don't blame or point fingers. We are all on a journey of learning and I realize they still have a lot of self reflecting and growth on their part. I once was learning lessons too and I won't judge another without feeling like I judge myself. I still desire to help them see their wrong doings and accept and forgive themselves so they can. Move on as well.
So that's a very short version of what I could remember from everything to sum up malice. He goes nuts trying to ruin me. My children are my everything but I know he didn't think I had this strength and he's shocked. Not noticeable yet to others of course but I know. My kids look like me especially my daughter is me when I was her age so he sees me daily and lives in the house and has all my things smh. He won't ever stop as long as I'm succeeding.
He has paid ppl to try and set me up, hacked my Facebook and made a convo with somrone to incriminate me.
Hacked my apple account and emails ruining my reputation anyway he can. Tbh most of it is my mom being the ring leader. I isolated and was off grid. If I don't move forward they don't.
In for a surprise very soon. God bless all victims of this and wish me luck.
I've been working on a video of testimony. It's a work in progress.
I hope this can help someone or give hope. Thanks for the space of venting. This was very therapeutic
Bloody spot on.
escaped 900 miles away but obsessively watching these videos 🤦🏽♀️
Does this apply that they are massively wounded for a mid range even when you left and blocked them during a heated argument
How do I detox from heavy metal poisoning?
Start listening to classical music.
Especially that it was toddally surprise and took his dirty little secret with me😅
Escaped, kicked him out, initial grand hoover never came, share children, incomplete no contact though firm boundaries re: conversation, arguments, malice, smearing, threats, for over a year regularly, he had a relationship short term for a few months, im confused is this the rarity you mentioned?!?
Yes, same. I would like to know this too.
What happens after you put a restraining order out on them?
Then they send a flying monkey or trash your name to anyone who will listen. ❤
They break it they don’t care
They don't respect a restraining order
oh my
Question HG. i saw him in court after 3 years. He stared at me and waited for me and held the door open. Was this an indirect hoover? He has a whole gf. And i tried to throw him in jail
Thanks
🤔 Will I stay out? thats a good question, hmmm 🤔
If you want to heal and be happy, you'll definitely stay out. I kept holding onto hope that I was wrong, believing he really wanted to work on himself for us...wasted so much more time, and got hurt over and over. I wish I could tell you this and know you'll heed my words, but the fact is, you're gonna do what you're gonna do...hopefully it won't take as long for you. When you're done, you're done.
She onced express why should i be thinking of u when we was not together anymore I was with someone else.
Karma got my x - it’s unbelievable how he is living now.
Not my circus , not my monkey.
I just went No Contact for the second time. He Hoover me the first time. This time no, I’m already replaced I believe. At the end of relationship he was different,
they all are
Yep. When I escaped from his dark, lying, cheating world he lamented that I had used a ruse to do so. Whatever. I am not calculative, I am simply a girl, who got tired to be messed with.
Ahhhh this explains why a cult I escaped in the early 90's suddenly got back in touch.
HG what if all you want from the narcissist is occasional sex? No other interactions, not living together, no "relationship"? Just a hook up. Seems perfect.
ikr, it was the BEST!! but I dont even desire him like that anymore after I discarded him he aint worth hitting this again!!!
Ijuu the malice campaign is malice indeed how do i get it to stop. I want nothing to do with im not responding or reacting to any of it im focused on my journey. But it still is disturbing and hurtful.
Does the narcisisst like jazz? Sure they have to be the one in control, they are thinking of what you could have done for them.
Prophetic
I escaped I ended stopped his abuse gone no contact I think I’m a secret or his got one ,
It’s been 2 years and the narc I dealt with is still stalking me. I don’t and haven’t done anything. I’ve stayed out of all 5 spheres of influence. I’ve done everything. I don’t know if he has someone or not but why is he still being a damn stalker?
You are entering the sixth sphere of influence, you have no control over that. However, the Hoover Execution Criteria are being reached and thus you are being hoovered which tells me your no contact regime is not good enough. I recommend you consult with me and I will vet your circumstances and advise you of where you are going wrong in order to solve this problem.
@@hgtudor-theultra I have an e-commerce store and I have a social media page for the store. I post goods online and to help generate traffic, I share it on the FB page I created for the store itself. He stalks the e-commerce pages FB. It’s crazy how long he’s been doing it. I deactivated my email, changed my phone number and deactivated my
personal social media pages. Prior to changing my email he tried to hack it, he’s showed up to my aunts house and created multiple social media pages to contact me, that too was before I deactivated my social media. He says he was on drugs and that’s why he behaves the way he did. That’s a lie. I remember what he did and he did it too easily and what he did was intentional. That man is the devil. Thx clarity, HG.
they hate to lose and for control
Yay. 🙂
HG, as the secondary source friend, is it better to respond and decline an invite if we get one? Or is it better to Ghost and say nothing?
I should block so the invite doesn't come through 🤦♀️
Fuel Crisis? You mean like the long lines to buy Gasoline at gas stations during the 1970s 😊🚗⛽
Hello. I wish they didn't and if they stopped watching my comments and suscribing to my channels then they won't trigger themselves to think about me.
Are you still at risk of Hoover if they are on a malice campaign n I remain no contact?
yesss dont put nothing past these trolls!! mine is on parole so i might not see him until next year
I miss him he's become a mood swing. I became forgotten when I went too much no contact
Forgotten he needed fuel. Now I only stare at my phone trying bits of ur information as fuel. Very sorry.
No not been hoovered back in its 4 months now he knows I won’t deal with his bullshit I stopped him in his tracks
20 years with him married. 2 years free. He still breaks the court orders.....
6.66 Subscribers ??
GOOD LORD ALMIGHTY
Spiritual Warfare
Good verses Evil
🛡️💪⚔️🙏⚔️💪🛡️
😌😌😌
I wish he wouldn't think about me.
Can you do a video on when the IPPS & the Secondary PP get together. Mainly the 2nd found out and informed the Primary. And now neither speak to the Narcissist. The Narcissist told #2 that he & #1 are together & to move on. But that, like all else, is a lie. Obviously he is onto the shelf person or finding a new Primary. Just wondered how upset that #2 made #1 turn on him. Thanks.
Lol, imagine giving any brain space to this. If #2 contacts #1 and they both know. You had both won. Period.
Throw my exnarc out... he hit me... 7 month ago...four weeks after he had new supply...4 days before he told the world.. he said I was everything... during this 7 month he have texted me four times... saying he still loves me....wants to be my friend... and find ways to see me......now silence since a longer time......
You realize that you're just empathically capturing and exploring the feeling of how it might be to live inside of a narcissist using your imagination. It's called channeling a Spirit. It's not a big deal Christians do it call the time except we do it with the Holy Spirit. It's called being smart enough to be on the right team. Fear of empathy causes fear of death - ya its called going through the cross we do it all the time. Often described as being born again. Ever hear of it, because narcissists get healed constantly. Anything to hard for God? What's the big deal about changing your mind? We get so much fuel from so many different directions and new and creative way we didn't even think of ourselves that we have to give it away. It actually seems like the less I do the more fuel I get. I'm practically bathing in it.
Actually who cares what they think.
Really the empathic comments here sound more insane than anything I've ever heard from a narc
Abandonment at its finest f you call that bro that was in the kitchen that you are on your knees being rude to me on top of just call him or isn't he picking up😅
I think the world's going to end a few days before Christmas
Why?
Still here Adrienne.