She Lets Go Of The Past When You Say This To Her

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  • Опубликовано: 26 окт 2024

Комментарии • 58

  • @marriagereset
    @marriagereset  7 месяцев назад +1

    Schedule A FREE Call With The Marriage Mastery Team:
    👉 www.joshhudsoncoaching.net/apply?sl=youtubemm155

  • @joedavid82
    @joedavid82 7 месяцев назад +23

    There is great advice in these videos. I should have just joined the program but all I’ve done is watched the videos. My wife asked for a divorce. I took the advice of one particular Hudson video and “let go to get her back” and told her if a divorce would make you happy I am not going to stand in your way. I don’t want one. And I’m not a lil b-- and need to be with you. I WANT to be with you. I can be alone the rest of my life and be just fine. This solved things for a bit. But as soon as I complained about something and lashed out? The Record Keeper dumped EVERYTHING on me recently just like this video talked about. I was like wow. Phew! Then I just focused on being a positive force in person, through text messages, everything. And I STOPPED DEFENDING myself like this video says and took responsibility. I have accepted that I have to be man enough to be the strong one. Women are sensitive and emotional. Accept it. She can complain to you but try not complain to her. Find a priest or therapist. It’s not fair. Oh well. She had to carry our son 9 months and deliver him. Thats not fair either. I stopped caring about defending myself and stopped caring if she left and she sensed it. Women just know it. Don’t ask me how. And you know what? It’s been amazing. She comes to ME in the night. She comes to me about a misunderstanding and I clear it up immediately without being defensive and just take responsibility. She senses the shift. She knows I want to do what’s right and she knows I don’t need to be with anyone. It’s like we are back in the frame of mind when we first met accept in present day. It’s wild how this video predicted how the Record Keeper was going to dump everything on me. It’s like Hudson is spying on me 😂

    • @S1lverspike
      @S1lverspike 7 месяцев назад +1

      If you can swing it join the program. I did and it changed a lot things are getting better by the day. I look for the small wins and keep building. I also recently took a step back and focused on myself and our kid and she’s upset but like chasing me at the same time. Women are like cats man you have to let them come to you.

    • @joedavid82
      @joedavid82 7 месяцев назад +11

      I can’t swing it right now. Hudson’s content is so good tho. It helps a lot. I’m focused on taking care of my own stuff and being respectful of hers. I look at our relationship like the customer service department at my job and it works wonders! When you are dealing with a customer you are always respectful. You never complain to a customer. You listen perfectly to a customer. You want to resolve their complaint(your behavior) without being defensive and hear it in their voice that they are satisfied. Cuz at the end of the day you want your customers money right? (In our case sex, affection, etc.)
      It took me a while to get over the whole being defensive part. I am a pretty big jerk sometimes so I just go into customer service mode when there are complaints… You HAVE to be careful what you say to a woman. She’s not your buddy. She’s not your priest or counselor. One wrong phrase or tone can lead to a whole new customer service convo so staying in customer service mode is solid. I let loose with my buddies and therapist. She actually forced me into a therapist cuz she didn’t want to hear my complaints! Like..a woman does not want to hear you fall apart on the side of the road fixing a tire and all of life is fixing a tire on the side of the road! My therapist said you don’t have an anger problem. You have aggravation from not being able to fix things. EXACTLY! But hey…I’m fixing them more and more everyday but being man enough to let a woman be sensitive

  • @EricB8487
    @EricB8487 6 месяцев назад +3

    This man is wise. I really screwed up

  • @1509tdrive
    @1509tdrive 12 дней назад

    Wow!! Right on 😮

  • @FolkeBernadotte2
    @FolkeBernadotte2 6 месяцев назад +9

    “I see the changes you’re making, but make them for the next woman” then when she sees him with the next woman she goes 🤯🤬🤬🤬😭

    • @nm9586
      @nm9586 Месяц назад

      That sounds nice.

  • @Ironstarfish
    @Ironstarfish 3 месяца назад +5

    My wife has told me this has been years in the making and the damage is done. Thats accurate how they do retroactively say things.

    • @nm9586
      @nm9586 Месяц назад

      That sounds just like my wife. She says I am no longer in love with you and it has been that way for years. There is nothing you can do. I am 100% done with this marriage. Good for you for making changes, I hope they help your next marriage. It is pretty hopeless at this point. She has a lawyer and is forcing me to fill out divorce papers. I love her, I don't want to lose her and I have been consistent with my positive changes for 2 years, but she still says she does not think I love her and the changes are just manipulation.

  • @marcgardner9865
    @marcgardner9865 Месяц назад

    “Editing The Past, Based On How She Feels In The Present Moment”. This explains mucho!

  • @smoothvelvetsinger
    @smoothvelvetsinger 2 месяца назад +3

    You are brilliant and very helpful. Thank you❤

  • @connecticut730
    @connecticut730 7 месяцев назад +3

    Pretty sure this was written for me. Great work Josh and team!

  • @ClanMcCracken
    @ClanMcCracken 7 месяцев назад +8

    Where does narcissistic abuse come into equation?

    • @PureBloodWNC
      @PureBloodWNC 5 месяцев назад

      Exactly!

    • @jasonlucas7924
      @jasonlucas7924 Месяц назад

      That’s a different conversation around sense of entitlement.

  • @77teahupoo
    @77teahupoo 2 месяца назад +2

    My wife said all this stuff and it hurts something fierce. I love her so much but she is so mad and hates me.

  • @JamieRowland-o3e
    @JamieRowland-o3e 7 месяцев назад +5

    I just cannt get her to turn round and it's been over a year. I know I have made mistakes and the depression from losing my mum, dad, sister and brothers comma just made me a shell for years. I love her so much and this is killing me. Nothing is working. 😢

    • @marriagereset
      @marriagereset  7 месяцев назад +3

      I can sense your defeat in the comment alone. Forget her for a second. You need YOU to step back up!
      Your went through pain. It is inevitable in life. Lets get up and focus on what you have control over

    • @hipowa909
      @hipowa909 7 месяцев назад

      well I caught my wife cheating about 8 months ago I know your pain. try to work on you and the kids.and if she still in the same house.she is still with you. she is only human.c.v.messed people up mentally.give her space.say less.all I learned after hurt and anger.now I'm thinking with my mind. so many out there.

    • @Notyourbabydaddy1
      @Notyourbabydaddy1 Месяц назад

      For me, we were together for 22 years, and during the past 2-3 years before the divorce she was having an affair with someone. I didn’t put it all together until a couple of weeks ago when talking to one of my daughters. It has been approximately 5 years since I have seen her. I am trying now to talk to her, but I can’t get past her barriers that she has up.

  • @Swankyvali
    @Swankyvali Месяц назад

    Girlfriend said the same thing to me. Now she wants time, because she is confused and does not knwo what to feel. Says I triggered a trauma from the past or something. That hurt her and she shut down.

  • @jasonw2696
    @jasonw2696 3 месяца назад

    Your small lecture here was excellent. It actually describes IFS internal family systems.
    Everyone should take the time to study that a good book is you are the one you've been waiting for . I have read it. It is excellent.

  • @KennyTaylor-ey3di
    @KennyTaylor-ey3di Месяц назад +1

    My wife is always saying I needed you like how you are now back then

    • @michaelharvey7247
      @michaelharvey7247 Месяц назад +1

      Mine said this just today, "i needed this from you months ago" 😔

  • @chadgoldthwaite
    @chadgoldthwaite 7 месяцев назад

    THIS RINGS SO TRUE. Thank you Josh. 🙏🙏🙏

  • @biersmorgen6609
    @biersmorgen6609 3 месяца назад +3

    Christ calls us to always reconcile with our wife, if shes out of alignment thats on her.. for now just validate her feelings move on with your purpose and dont expect any sex or connection beyond emotional intimacy and safety

  • @Sup3riorr
    @Sup3riorr 7 месяцев назад +3

    As a man to be in a relationship its a fulltime job so no thx, if women kept it simple, respect and affection I can promise you more marriages would have worked wonders, most of the things you said about men I felt from my ex wife, always trying to change my perception. if only you changed, if only you you you. our 20years together and I cant quite remember once she said I'm sorry with out a but after or actually held her self accountable.

    • @nm9586
      @nm9586 Месяц назад +1

      In the 10 months since my wife told me it us over, and the hours of conversations and dozens of therapy sessions, not once has she mentioned anything she did wrong in the marriage. She only mentions my mistakes.

  • @stevemarquez2079
    @stevemarquez2079 3 месяца назад +1

    Thank you
    My current situation
    Perfect timing for watching this video

  • @jeremiahm86
    @jeremiahm86 6 месяцев назад +1

    I can concur with her saying we don't go on dates but I'm like we used to do this and that and even now when I ask you say no or maybe just for it to lead to no. Although a lot of these videos are just seeds it is helping me realize a lot of things I've done in the past

  • @suncat1396
    @suncat1396 7 месяцев назад +6

    Wow if she's that complex , sophisticated after you win her back in time she can start to distance herself from you again. Which means never ending fees for the Marriage Mastery Team. I'm thinking it's better to walk away from a bad situation.

  • @robertrosales9641
    @robertrosales9641 5 месяцев назад +1

    Bro, you got me!
    I see how she is and it makes sense

  • @Iam1weare1
    @Iam1weare1 7 месяцев назад +6

    Don't listen to this guy.
    Typical nice guy behavior.

    • @olzzon
      @olzzon 6 месяцев назад +1

      Listen to this is to be used , not in a relationship that is 50/50 without mindgames. If you only going to act like this and letting them continue to act anyway , you're letting either narccissts into your life or an avoident who can't connect emotional with mutual respect.

  • @S1lverspike
    @S1lverspike 7 месяцев назад +1

    0:24 I literally had this told to me by my separated wife.

  • @rayvangobel1
    @rayvangobel1 11 дней назад

    You are the “He Man” of emotional intelligence sonnnnnnn! Thx for this. Winning the wifey back in separation ….going nuclear

  • @nathancaminita8207
    @nathancaminita8207 4 месяца назад

    Jesus I do the displacement accountability thing all of the time. 🤦‍♂️ I guess I didn’t think about it like that.

  • @bigmike1400
    @bigmike1400 3 месяца назад

    Love the video. Wished she would communicate so I could say I m sorry for the words I said

  • @sgt.marcuspstacker2287
    @sgt.marcuspstacker2287 4 месяца назад

    Thank you

  • @OJKG
    @OJKG 7 месяцев назад +2

    There isn't one video on this channel which actually gives out advice. Onlv 10-15 minute advertisements for a program which is unattainavle for most.

    • @marriagereset
      @marriagereset  7 месяцев назад +9

      I'm sorry you feel that way man. I get guys commenting all of the time on the channel saying the advice alone on the channel saves their marriage.
      I give my best advice away for free
      Maybe your level of consciousness doesn't want to take in what I have to say.

    • @ScottJeske
      @ScottJeske 7 месяцев назад

      My wife and I have had a few talks on our relationship problems and I have used the tools learned so far and have positive results to the point one of our conversations I nearly took all the ammunition away from her to come attack me back with. I owned up and took responsibility for all that she was claiming I had done over the years. Yes she tested me in the conversations and I did not react. So now she no longer uses her key argument when we discuss our current relationship issue she has now latched on to “The Past and the hurt” as her new angle of attack.
      She is aware that I am in this program and bettering myself and she has experienced the change. Mainly in the way I approach and handle our conversations on our relationship issues. She started off a conversation the other day with a very defensive, selfish, and jealous attitude saying…”your working on improving yourself, that’s great for you and maybe a future relationship, but how is that going to help me and how is that going to fix the past and the hurt?”
      I replied with “I don’t know if it will fix the past. But I know it will create a safe relationship going forward where I won’t hurt you like I have in the past, I don’t want to be that man again.”
      She replied that she isn’t sure if she wants to take the chance that I am truly changing and things won’t go back to the way they were.
      I acknowledged her feelings and stated she has the right to feel that way. And that if there is a sliver of hope that we can repair this, I am fighting for that sliver of a chance. And I left the room to come back a couple of minutes later to her head buried in her knees bawling her out.

    • @HM-ro9wj
      @HM-ro9wj 7 месяцев назад +1

      This is simply not true - the channel is very helpful. Stay open to it.
      I hope you get through whatever you're going through though.

    • @xx-qm8ue
      @xx-qm8ue 7 месяцев назад

      It is pretty pricey

    • @scottgriffiths5228
      @scottgriffiths5228 7 месяцев назад

      My marriage is done. It's been 2 years I've waited for her to come back . She is still saying she is divorce is done and stupid me STILL waiting what's the point now she has someone new.

  • @PureBloodWNC
    @PureBloodWNC 5 месяцев назад +2

    She sounds like a narcissist.

  • @droy1714
    @droy1714 2 месяца назад

    Bro has logically thought about everything

  • @llObscurell
    @llObscurell 7 месяцев назад

    0:49 take my money 😂😂

  • @EugeMeijster-nf7fl
    @EugeMeijster-nf7fl 2 месяца назад +1

    So women are bi-polar? 😅