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So... your parents were poor and struggling in China, so they immigrated to America where they get to be poor and struggling. Plus, they don't understand the language and the society. You ever wonder what was the point of it all?
@kojoefante I agree. You can still be financially free without being rich. The amount of money needed for financial freedom depends on each person's lifestyle. It doesn't necessarily mean becoming rich. If you can live with $0,000 a year, that's all you need for financial freedom.
@@donaldkhlee I don't see how people can be so naive to the modern day slavery that goes on today with a lot of jobs; The illusion of massive financial advancement that the United States presented to us in the 90s died long time ago
It also takes being completely surrounded and integrated with the english language, and a lot of the community's group together and isolate from natives, it's more comfortable of course, but adding how much time is spent working, if you also only hang out with other people who speak your native language, there's just no chance@@donaldkhlee 's, when our parents came here, they came with pennies in their pockets, and they were hated for being outsiders, So your story is very typical for what a lot of our families went through
Learning English is in fact a survival mode in the West. English is in fact a very easy language to learn, 40-50 hours, you'll be able to speak it in broken sentence that is understandable. I had to picked-up Spanish at the age of 40+ in order to get around in Mexico.. so what excuse is there?
@ easier said than done Most immigrant working 80 hours a week like my uncles and don’t have time . Most are stuck in their own ways too . tell that to the immigrants here . Most don’t care to learn the lanaguage . They for make money and they stick and work within their communities so it works Just make a million. Just be perfect bro
I'm a Chinese Born Canadian as well, and I remember always telling my Father why he didn't learn English after being here for so long. You only start to realize their struggles when you're older. I'm 29 and I work full time, and I hardly have any time at the end of the day to do much other than watch some youtube videos. I can now understand how my parents wouldn't have time to learn engligh when they're raising kids while working full time.
Hahaha. Seems like we are alike. It is only when we're older than we realized the sacrifices they made for us and can be appreciative of it. God bless you for becoming so wise!
Learning English or any 2nd language was much more challenging back then. Lack of time and lack of convenience... today we have apps like DuoLing to help us, at it's pretty convenient. You can practice on it while taking public transit, etc.
@@donaldkhleePlease dont be offended but we are in the Greatest Depression collapse and it would be foolish and selfish to HAVE KIDS/Children into this hyperinflation horrific future. This will last a long time and do not fall for the lies that each and every human must become a parent.
@@dallassegno I kind of agree because as a 3rd generation Hispanic who barely knows Spanish, I think you're right. If I just hung out with fully speaking Spanish people, I would be fluent by now (29 years old). I just started caring and am trying to work on my Spanish, and realized it's not as tough as my fears of the unknown made it out to be. But on the other hand, as a fellow human being, you should understand how hard it is to have way too much in your plate at once. Imagine having to go to a completely different country. The culture shock, plus having to constantly work because YOU are your family's provider. You might feel drained, lost, the weight of the world on your shoulders. So you hang out with those you can talk to easily, and after a hard day of work you just want to rest. But my Grandma on my mom's side can speak English with anyone, while my grandmother on my dad's side barely knows any English at all. So it does come down to a willingness to be uncomfortable and just surround yourself with those who speak the language. Plus, correct me if I'm wrong anyone, but from other videos I've seen, when Chinese immigrants first started coming to the USA, they only really had eachother. So I think they have a culture of not being to buddy-buddy with Americans even though they came here for better opportunities.
When you’re in “survival mode” your brain can’t even process learning anything EXTRA. You are not only physically and emotionally exhausted - you are mentally exhausted as well. When you’re able to enjoy a reprieve and look back on it, your parents might ask themselves why they didn’t learn English. But looking back when you’re more stable can make you feel guilty . . . But that survival time period is very, very difficult to overcome and it’s frightening as well. Congrats to your parents for wanting something better!
My dad move to the US (Bay Area) back in the mid 70’s. He is 87 now and still doesn’t speak a lick of English. He lives in Oakland Chinatown and only stays in that community.
This applies to everyone (all diaspora). Understand, the American Empire is an offspring of the British Empire. It prefers to colonise the World using International Finance Capital based out of the "City of London" but will not hesitate to use sanctions, force and violence when necessary (WW1, WW2, Yugoslavia, Iraq, Syria, Ukraine etc..). There are "managers" that branch out to maintain the Empires control like BIS (Bank of International Settlements), Wall Street, MIC (military industrial complex), Westernised academic institutions (i.e. Neo-liberal economics), Western foundations and think tanks (i.e. Ford, Rockefeller, Chatham House) mainstream media, NGO's etc. The purpose of Imperialism is wealth extraction (land, resources, labor, human mind etc..) from the World for the benefit of a Racist Elite minority. Imperialism keeps and forces countries to stay under-developed and dependent. YOUR parents and others HAD TO immigrate because their own countries were under-developed and dependent. Moving West (to center of the Empire) does provide more opportunities. HOWEVER, things have changed. The Global South has fought hard to gain Sovereignty and independence (i.e. BRICS) which is why the West is going down and along with that the diaspora's opportunities. Like it or not, in the Western Empire, there is a glass ceiling for immigrants and not every immigrant is "top of the class". Many are just "average" and dependent for others to provide income and stability.
Darn. That was a history lesson I needed. Thank you! And agreed, but with BRICS each of those nations have their own problem. Biggest of which is the replacement rate bc people are getting older with not enough children to replace. It's going to be some wild next few years surely.
@@donaldkhleeand if they don’t pay china back they are contractually obligated to pay with their natural resources. Look up any Chinese dynasty and you’ll find imperialism. BRICS is not what you think it is-it is debt trap diplomacy and those projects only go through because of bureaucratic pressures
It always baffled me why anyone from a first world country would willingly immigrate to the us. But I suppose in the past it was different. I've heard stories of l....nchings of yellow or foreign skinned people and severe discrimination even now, why be a 2nd class citizen there?.
My parents are first generation immigrants to the U.S. Came here to give me and my sibling a better future and life. They don't know English and had limited options for job. Worked in factories, manufacturing companies, and restaurants. I remember my dad having to jump from one job to another as there's always instability. Mom had to work over hours to bring food to the table. My sibling and I worked hard. We have professional jobs now and definitely living a lot better. But what brings us back to remember that we're not exactly out of the loop is that first generation immigrant parents don't have pension or much savings when they retire. Dad passed away. Mom now lives with my sibling and we take care of her financially. Luckily no severe health issues now, but that may happen in the future. What I realize is some of my friends and co-workers' parents live independently and their kids don't have to take care of them as much as my sibling and I have to for our mom. The generational and cultural difference is there. To my mom, it's our job to take care of her because she sacrificed her life to come here. When she gets upset, she thinks the grass is greener. Always thinking about how it's so much better in her home country. I get it. She doesn't speak English. She feels like she didn't live a life that's completely fulfilling. But what she doesn't realize is her relatives in her home country are having a hard time with inflation and we are actually better off than them. If my sibling and I did not do well in school and obtain professional jobs, I don't see how my mom would get the care she does now. Thanks for making this video. It's much needed to talk about.
This is exactly my point. Thanks for sharing. A lot of people who never are in this situation judges. I'm glad we share the same problems and that we found success and are paying it back. Upwards and beyond! ✌️❤️
if you want to know their struggle, just go off to Japan for a few days and feel how awkward it is when everyone speaks to you in Japanese but you clearly can't respond.
I couldn’t understand why my parents didn’t learn English as well. It definitely made it harder growing up to not have much guidance from my parents in terms of schooling and career. Though don’t know if they would have been able to give much help since they never graduated high school. I can totally relate. You are smart to have moved to the US. My parents are in Canada and want us to move back to Vancouver. I am like no way will I do that especially since my kids are starting their careers and there is so much more tech jobs here in the US. Hopefully you will find the right person and start a family. You have a lot of wisdom to share. I enjoy your channel.
Thank you. I completely agree with you. Vancouver is like LA, a crap hole without opportunities. I agree with your decision to keep your kids in the US. The next 4 years is going to be great for us!
I agree. My parents are from India too (from Patna, Bihar). I wish they didn’t tear themselves from India and start this new American existence. This is not me being ungrateful; it’s just very strange being a second-generation American. Asians are not even 10% of the U.S., even when you lump the incredible multitude of South, East, Southeast, and Central Asian nations.
@@donaldkhlee with their personalities they have a distinct lack of ability to adapt. They are living in the past. Even India isn't what they remember it to be, but they have a hard time adjusting to the way of life here. And they are educated. My mom is a physician and my dad is an attorney but they could never really be the type of success that they would have been if they stayed in India. On top of that they don't have the same social support that they would have had. Have they stayed in India as we don't have any extended family here. Essentially after they die I'm pretty much by myself. I have become a parent to them
Not all parents are benefitting. The kids can fck up. Like my neighbors kid. Parents gave him all they got. This kid goes to super expensive art school, runs up 100k+ student loan for a useless degree. Right now he sits at home without job, and expects his parents to pay off his loans. The parents literally working to day they will die as there is no end in sight to their financial liability.
half Japanese half American here, this is pretty relatable (except my parents both know english so that makes things easier) but my parents slave away working for barely any money and they had been since my siblings and I were born. My American grandfather helped us get a home 20 years ago, but it's still difficult to maintain in this economy. One of my life goals is to help them retire, kinda struggling right now but I know I can do it, there's not a doubt in my mind.
Still better than my uncle case!! I’m Vietnamese, born & raise in Vietnam My uncle is boat people immigrants to Australia in 1987s with his wife (he was 20yo at that times & married 1y ago before he chose to leaving) He’s immigrants in AUS with no English, no education, in Vietnam he work in tailor shop. Immigrated as refugees, gorvement put them in REFUGEES CAMPS FOR 2 YEARS & release them outside with some help find a jobs, so he work in manufacture. Work from early 8Am to 6Pm, and work as clean dish till 9PM. He have to work 2 jobs to feed his wife was pregnant!! At that’s times they’re paying very low-pay for refugees. He’s almost work like that for 10y after he landing in AUS!! His wife give birth 2 times, 2 daughter. They’re almost rarely to meet him since he working whole day since they’re still sleep at morning & he come back home they’re already sleep!! Only meet once at Sunday!!! Saturday he’s go to Chinese/Viet market to find part time jobs!! He though it will be good since he want to help my family & others siblings in Vietnam in 90s Vietnam still poor & suffering!! 2 of his daughters only know about mom, listen to her & speak ENGLISH, they’re rarely speak Vietnam, they think it’s not cool, weirdo So since they’re 7-8yo they’re dont speak Vietnamese & dont want to learn Vietnam, only speak English at shools with friends & people around. Till teenage, both kids almost like Aussie & not even know much Vietnamese, parents & kids rarely have conversations because my uncle cant speak English!! His wife is blame him & very aggressive, take all money & find the way to brings her family siblings from Vietnam immigrants to Aus. But my uncle saving 500$ want to help siblings in Vietnam, she slaps him & beat him!! All friends & neighborhood know this!! He’s angry & slaps her back, pull her hairs. She call police & report him, he get caught for fews weeks!! The kids always protect mom & hate him, they’re get brainwashed by the mom to hate him, blame him!! In early 2000s, they’re broken, the kids is totally hate him!! She’s married another immigrated Vietnam man & take all the money from my uncle, living good life & open small shop. My uncle still work 2 jobs & meet others Vietnam immigrants lady as well, she’s work in nails shop!! But after 10y they’re also broken. He lost second times, all his last saving is help second wife open nails shop, after broken relationships, he have nothing!! The first wife, fews years ago have cancer & dead. The 2 daughter is still not close to him as much as family, but at least they’re growing up well being healthy & beautiful & education well, now both have jobs & married & have their own family!! Sometimes my uncle invited them & request meetings them, they’re meet & have dinner. That’s all, very cold & not really close relationship of dad & daughter of same bloods!! My MOM very upset & sad for him, his situations of hard work man give up everything of his youngful day, throw his life in boats suffering in deep seas to West to find new life, better life for himself, his wife, his kids & whole family!! Working whole life like slaves & never complain!! Get treat as second class people in the immigrants country!! But end up very sadly this way at mature old age!! Vietnam nowadays is getting better & more development & peaceful. The situation is bad at after wars for more than 2 decades, its terrible!! Sometimes my mom & we think WHAT IF he stay in Vietnam, I don’t know if his life is better or worsen?! But now he have no house in Aus, living in rental house & still working at 65yo!! 2 daughters live in same city but far away & not really care about him!! Once, he’s sick & stay in hospital couple day but hard to ask them!! FAILS, IT’S FAILS, second & third Asian generation in US & Western, no matter how much they’re successful. But if they can’t even speak their roots language & cant take care, don’t want to take care their parents which is love them to dead to sacrifice their life, it’s sad fails!! They’re get brainwashed by Westerners mindset & attitudes & not really thankfully or trying to understand their parents!! Not all, but alots case like this!! I hope Asian born & raise in US & Western should respect & take care their parents & stop copy Western lifestyle, after growing up & dumping their parents!! This is cruel & not something humans do. They’re blame it US lifestyle, old people have gorvement take care to nursing house!! They’re Youngful & want to fly, enjoys & travel & experience this world!! This is not fair & not rights in any levels.
@@HauTran-sunfromsouth wow, I read the whole story, it really puts things into perspective how bad the human experience can really be. Your uncle has been through so much, it's not fair at all. It's like losing your innocence for the second time, when you see how dark the world really is and how nobody really cares about you. The system will just take advantage of your labor like you're a number. It's modern day slavery, but it's marketed as freedom. It's all a golden pair of handcuffs. All I think about everyday is how I need to find another way. I'm also aware of how a woman can ruin your life, there are so many stories of that happening in western countries so luckily I can learn from other people's stories. I did have a girlfriend earlier and felt trapped in that relationship that I knew wasn't good for me, luckily I left and now am focused on a new path forward. I think a lot about where I want to live eventually, but I do love both of my parents a lot and want to be here for them before they die, so I'll stay close to stick with family. Not all the members of my family are people I can tolerate though, as some have just been outright narcissistic and abusive, at one point I was like the "scapegoat" or the "black sheep" of my family for a number of years. But these days, fortunately things have gotten much better in those regards. But you're right, it is insane how in countries like the US and Australia, people just leave their parents behind and send them to a senior home till they die. Whereas in other countries, the kids stay in the parents house and take care of them when they get older. There are a lot of things from other cultures that the West could learn from. I could talk about that all day. Also, my brother in-law is from the Phillipines, his mother apparently has been thinking of going back.. I can't blame her, it's so beautiful over there. But in America all we see is highways and ugly infrastructure. Not to mention, our whole culture revolves around work. It's like the only solution right now is to work hard and smart and escape the system so that you don't have to be a slave like everyone else. That's all I think about really. Escaping this system, or beating it altogether.
Once you can save 35 grand, you can sell cash covered puts and make $1000 per month on volatile stocks like Tesla and micro strategy. Or do hedged spreads with less money.
Well, my grandpa was a wealthy silversmith and owned large rice paddies. Lost everything in America's war. Turned me into a first gen refugee. Came here with literally, the cloths on my back. Grandpa continued the trade in the US. My dad opened a small business netting $150k a year in the 90s. I went to college and make 6 fig. My friends and their families continue to be poor while we just kept moving up. The moral of this story is that if you don't know a trade, you're going to be poor no matter where you go.
@donaldkhlee I supposed you could say that my families are hustlers. Making silver jewelry and selling them to people who want them is a hustle. Opening a store and providing locals their cultural foods and spices could be a hustle. I, on the other hand, could fall into your definition of slaving. Even with my comp sci degree, I still work for the man. But my family's plight is hardly special. Many people from Cantonese with cooking skills came to the US, opened restaurants and thrived. Their kids thrive. Those who came with no skills work for these restaurants and go nowhere. You can't just go somewhere and think things are going to get better.
@donaldkhlee my father is just like yours though. Over 40 years in the US but he still speaks English like he did back in the 80s. You'd figure since English is everywhere he'd improved, but nope. He finally admitted (or told me just shut me up) that he was just too lazy since what he knows was enough to put me where I am. Can't argue with that.
David, your assessment of the current situation is correct. Boomer here and I have 2 millennial children and one gen Z. My oldest son married and started his family before Covid. He was able to buy a home in North Carolina and is doing well. My middle daughter has a decent job, owns a condo but she and her husband cannot afford a single family home. My youngest daughter is your age and she and her husband had first child in an apt. They know they will never be able to afford home in DC area and are planning to move to lower cost area. I’m 66 and plan to retire this year. I’m currently at my parents home helping care for my dad who is 87. Agree that the cost of living is highest I’ve seen I’m my lifetime and appears to be a worldwide problem. You should still aspire to find a wife and have a couple children. Having a family has been my greatest success.
I am 'bout your dad's age - 1959, and also came to Vancouver in the 70's, and also lived in ShamShuiPo. One of my 2 sons is with us and the other is in Kansas City. Scary parallel. I want to tell you, and I am sure your dad would want to as well, take good care of yourself and your own family first. Make sure they get the best with what you can bring home. We will be just fine.
Gosh darn it. This hit me right in the heart. ❤️🙏 Thank you for your kindness and advice. I needed to hear that. I rather put a lot of pressure on myself to take care of my parents, but I'm sure they've done the same for me all my life. Thank you sir.
Interesting comment :) You have indeed many similarities with the uploader of this video Thanks for posting ur comment I think the ''filial piety'' (孝) Confucian (Ru) thing is something that is ingrained deeply on the psyche of Chinese people Almost all Chinese sons and daughters,even if they live in a Western society and have fully integrated with the majority non-Asian/Chinese population keep their values, it is like something on the DNA, done unconsciously after so many thousands years of evolution/history and tradition Congratulations,sir, for ur achievements in life and for everything u have done in ur life for ur children and family Btw bro,since u are from Sham Shui Po ,specially in the 60's and 70's ,u might have seen/witnessed tough moments back then.... and u have had ''the privilege'' (irony) to witness/experience the Kowloon Walled Town and the influence the triads had , was in their heydays i guess thanks for sharing ur comment sir,again Btw I am not chinese,not even from Asian or America but i am very big Asianophile and Sinophile and everything thanks and i wish all the best
Best to be a great ancestor for your kids and their kids… and not be burdened by your ancestors. Filial piety is love and respect for parents (freedom, no interference, admiration) but not to be confused with suicidal empathy, which is abandoning all for the sake of being a ‘good’ person.
I remember asking my parents why they didn't go to college. Now that I am older and more well traveled, I get why. Being in a foreign country is tough as a traveler in the modern day... let alone in the 70s ( when my parents came to the west)
I am an ABC and my parents came to the states in the late 70s. My family came to America pretty much with the shirts on their backs. There were about 10 of them in a little apartment in New York. My family was a little lucky. My great uncle came to New York before them and had a restaurant in Chinatown. My dad worked for him and eventually opened his own restaurant. My parents used all their money to open the restaurant. It was a huge gamble. If it didn't succeed, we would have been homeless. Thankfully, it was successful. Parents sold the restaurant and are now semi-retired. I am not a risk taker like my parents and currently work at a large corporation.
Your parents did great in Canada! They own the house despite having low income! Had they come over now to Canada, they would've never made it. People with 6 figure income have a hard time buying a house.
Your parents are wise and brave! I came to the US to study in the 2010’s. One day I was doing groceries at my local family style asian store, a strong sense of gratefulness just hit me. I was thankful to he earlier immigrants that built the community, or simply who built the asian store and the whole overseas supply chain. It took lots of risks and error-tests
God bless you for coming over to study and work. Yes, I see that most immigrant understand the struggles for new immigrants and getting their feet planted.
What you have said is so true for Chinese immigrants. My great grandfather came from Canton in the late 1800's to San Francisco Chinatown. i am a third generation Chinese American and i am over 70 years old now. It took two generations to come from nothing for my family to gather generation wealth. What i had i learned to invest and i am now fortunate to be in the 3% net wealth of US population. It does take time for most immigrants to work and strive for a decent life in the US.
I praise you for being a good steward of the finances built by your ancestors. I think often, by your generation, most families become broke because the kids just don't know how to manage it and were/are spoiled.
Let's not forget that Cantonese people are the most ''adventurous'' and open-minded and business-inclined in my opinion among all other Chinese people, specially comparing to the Northeners. The entrepreneurial spirit of Cantonese people has indeed played a significant role in their success around the globe. Historically, many Cantonese people from Guangdong province and Hong Kong ventured overseas in search of better opportunities. Their knack for business and willingness to work hard has led to thriving communities in places like the USA, Canada, Southeast Asia, and beyond. Chinatowns in major cities worldwide often trace their roots back to Cantonese immigrants who established businesses and built tight-knit communities. Their success stories often include small businesses that grew into large enterprises, restaurants that became local favorites, and a strong emphasis on family and community support. It's like their entrepreneurial spirit is in their DNA, helping them thrive no matter where they go.
I'm an Indian guy who was born and raised in the US, but both of my parents are from India. I have to say you gave me an interesting perspective on immigrant parents that can't speak English. My situation was different than yours in the sense my dad was educated in college in India but when he got here, he was able to pass the certifications he had to pass here to get jobs for what he had studied for in India. My mom on the other hand came here when she was 18 and went to community college but didn't finish since she decided to marry my dad. I was fortunate in the sense both could speak fluent English. I remember asking my parents as a young adult once how did they get good with English, and their response was they felt to be successful in America that they had to be fluent in English. That they would invest a lot of time watching American TV shows and movies along with constantly speaking English with each other. What I found interesting that was the case with even their siblings who were not college educated but they had the same motivation as my parents which was they also believed to have a shot at making money they had to learn how to speak fluent English. They all felt they couldn't get by without being able to speak English. I have always wondered why other immigrants couldn't learn how to speak English like my parents and my family did when they got here but now you have given me that answer. I have empathy for your parents since everybody's motivations are different and they felt in their situation they could scrap by not knowing English while in my family's case they didn't feel they could survive without learning English.
Thanks for sharing. I think your family was very forward thinking. My parents are not forward thinking and live in the present which is good in some ways. But that has its own consequences.
@@MADMOGtheFrugalit is taught everywhere, but old people are embarassed to learn it. They don't want to feel like failures, which is more than 90% of language learnings.
I'm writing a novel with a 1st gen Chinese as my "male lead" and came across this video as I was researching that perspective. Very enlightening. Thanks for sharing! Love your values and aspirations. Keep trusting God and believing. He'll make a way. Praying for you, your family, and your family to come😉
Yeah, you're in a tough situation. In America, my parent generation had a simple strategy: Buy house, good So my dad was a pharmacist, my uncle an electrician, and my aunt a school teacher So they had enough real estate and could manage to throw off enough income to support my dad before he passed away My uncle/aunt also had real estate, but their children (my age) are squandering real estate and literally have no income. Crazy
@@donaldkhlee It is very strange. I don't think they understand how the world works. They have very shallow thinking. Despite having degrees from good schools.
I moved to the US, Oahu Hawaii in 1995 from South Korea. WORST DECISION and fatal mistake by my family. Hawaii is not a place for education and job opportunities because it's only an island and everything is super limited. Jobs are kinda there only in the tourism sector because their economy is mainly tourist based. They brought me there as a child and expect me to grow old and live on that island for the rest of my life. I got tired of living there only after like 6 months. The island fever kicked in and I was ready to leave but couldn't. When I told them that I don't like it here, my family scold me and call me stupid. They also said im rejecting blessing. OMG. It's why I hate and hold grudge against my family . I don't care what anyone says. My family is bunch of morons. Older gen Koreans are dumb and they fantasize the US as if it's a heaven or something. The US and Hawaii are the two most overrated place on earth. I literally did not see much of improvement. The only thing I see more are homeless, drug addicts, street bums, losers, creeps and shady/sketchy people outside.
1st generation immigrants always have it the roughest. 1st generation american born of immigrant children have to then build up from the foundation. it doesn't start getting better until the kids of the 1st gen american born of immigrant children. we see this with the old chinese railroad immigrants lineage or the japanese immigrants. 1st gen suffers. 2nd gen or (kids of 1st gen immigrants) also suffer but they build up. then the ones that finally get to reap the fruit is the 3rd gen (or the grandkids)
I highly agree with you. A friend of mine was 3rd gen and he lived so much better than the 1st gen kids. But he couldn't speak a lick of his native ancestors tongue though
1st gen = parents or you who immigrated into the west 2nd gen = you or someone who is born in the west from immigrant parents 3rd gen = kids of 2nd gen It normally takes 3 generations to fully assimilate usually by 3rd or 4th they forget their motherland language. 1st gen has it hard but usually they came as a couple and 2nd gen has it the worst cause you are basically 2nd class or 3rd class citizen having to complete with westerners in their circle. First gen usually just associate with other first gen even if they come single dating is still easy and they find other first gen or go back to mainland find wife if youre a male if youre female you can just marry western male cause that option isnt given for 1st gen asian males. 2nd gen is kids who want to get into western circles but get rejected most of the time. Females born in 2nd gen look down on 2nd gen asians and see them as 3rd class citizens. Mexicans and blacks are 2nd class to them in dating world white is 1st. So you see this problem with 2nd gen for male immigrants is the hardest. Fun fact most 2nd gen asian males don't even get to reproduce in the west because they get cuucked and the 2nd gen asian girls run to the leftover white guys (the white guys that couldnt land a avg skinny white girl) Most 3rd gen is from kids from 2nd gen asian females not from asian males.
You bring up a good point and hit it right on the nail. As a first generation asian from refugee parents, i can attest to this. You spend most your life working hard at school, getting a good job, paying bills, raising kids just to die. Hampster wheel at its finest. Seeing it play out my in law and aging parents. Sad situation all around. The other side of the coin is if they would have stayed in the war torn county and how our lives would have played out. Regardless, im grateful for my parents sacrifice to be born in America and to reap the sucess and convienance in a first world county. Good video
A lot of young people lack guidance when they are young. Thus leading them to not make better decisions in life. These decisions can be education, marriage, diet, social circles, and so forth. And it can carry on to the next generation and create a wicked cycle. I know a lot of my relatives like your parents who never received a good support system when they were in their youth.
Indeed, a good support system is always needed, but most of us don't realize that we need them. You're 100% correct. For most people, we get poor education, marry the wrong people, eat the wrong things that kills us, and are in the wrong social circle that encourage us to be less than what we have potential for. Thanks for your insight!
I too moved from Asia to USA when I was 20. And English is very important. I spoke English but had to Americanized it. So went to college here and got an American degree, worked in US corporates for over 30 years. While I did fairly well, I would also say that there is a glass ceiling for folks like us in the west. I totally understand those who moved from China/HK/Taiwan and had to work menial jobs to survive, why its hard to learn English under those circumstances. But I take my hat off to them for trying hard to succeed in a different society. So many of my old friends in Asia who remained in Asia never had to deal with discrimination. The immigrant experience should be celebrated, their hard work in a different society should be admired and respected. I don't see them as slaves but as pioneers that set an example of toughness, perseverance, for their offsprings to emulate.
Heck yeah! Love that attitude. People forget that immigrants built the West. You can't have USA or Canada without immigrants. The prejudice for not being able to speak a language for being here a few years is crazy. Step in their shoes for a moment.
Nicely said: check this text: The construction of the Canadian Pacific Railway (CPR) significantly depended on the labor of Chinese immigrants. The CPR was built between 1881 and 1885. More than 17,000 Chinese men were hired to work on the railway, especially in the toughest and most hazardous sections in British Columbia. Working Conditions: These workers endured extremely harsh conditions, performing dangerous tasks like handling explosives and working in challenging terrains. They received $1.00 per day, which was less than their European counterparts, and had to pay for their own food and equipment. Contributions: Despite the difficulties, Chinese laborers were crucial in the completion of the railway, which was vital for connecting the eastern and western regions of Canada. Recognition: Unfortunately, Chinese workers were often neglected in historical records and celebrations, such as the famous "Last Spike" photograph, which notably did not include them. This alone speaks volumes about what u described in ur comment and unfortunately there is still discrimination in the 21st century that's unacceptable and crazy considering that such countries as Canada and USA are immigrant countries lol
@ 17,000? You do know that there are many millions of canadians, tens of thousands of times more, not working for 4 years, but their entire lives? lol. Yes, great contribution, but they're hardly responsible for "building the country" like canadians have just been sitting around watching! laughable
It's difficult seeing my own parents and my grandparents getting older. I want to go back to study (different field) while working and I'm not sure how I can balance everything. My family speaks English and Spanish but they work a lot. I spoke more fluent English since everyone spoke English in school. I only recently bought online Spanish and other languages online on sale, and focusing primarily learning Spanish using a language app. I do small practices everyday, I have picked up on Spanish quickly and I am able to hold some conversations. My mom has tried to teach me Spanish but she is always doing something even when I help her out. So I'd just learn Spanish on my own and listen to Spanish videos and podcasts while multitasking. Then I'd talk in Spanish with my mom and speaking to family relatives on the phone. Language learning takes time and I know not everyone has time. I'd say the best way to learn new languages is to know the basics first and then listen to how people talk in media, it can be videos, podcasts. I am able to pick up on language quickly that way. I am aiming to be multilingual. So far I speak English, Spanish and ASL. Many people are in survival mode especially with rising inflation and even I am finding myself working more hours whenever I can to help my family and I'd study late at night before bed. I admire immigrant's hard work, they keep going to provide a better life and better education. But it is frustrating seeing the rich get richer and many working Canadians/Americans being priced out of the housing market and crazy high inflation. I'm in the USA and a working American citizen, trying to aim for a better paying job just to try to save up and go back to college to study for a better career.
Experienced the opposition: 1st gen CBC moved to Singapore at Grade 5 and found it impossible to learn Mandarin. Failed every year. Not everyone is built to learn multiple languages.
@ agree its hard, but then again, i failed french in Canada too. Lol. Sometimes it the student. Btw, Insightful and thoughtful video-thanks for making it!
My parents were first generation immigrants from the Philippines. Dad was a doctor and mom was a nurse. After immigration to the U.S. in the 1980s, by the 1990s income was 200k+ a year. Took vacations all over the world and was not wanting for toys or anything growing up. I guess if you were uneducated from China or somewhere else with no skills and competing low wage jobs with native born Americans it would have been much tougher.
@ were they? In many little towns you will see doctor are from places like Pakistan, Philippines, Taiwan etc. that’s why on income in the U.S. Asians have higher than whites.
my story is similar, i'm a couple years older 40 this year, chinese moved to australia in the mid 90s with only $300 USD didn't speak any english, it was always about survival i started working from 13 so i dont become a burden to the family, it is through this my family achieved much more as compared to others and even higher income white family because we were so used to working hard though not smart, this was a boon for me because i decided to join the military which was a cake walk compared to working and studying at the same time. i married straight out of uni, right before military and kid not soon after, it was an easy choice for kids because i love kids and military provides so many benefits for married couple with kids and i like to wing it because there is always a first time for everything in life, might as well face it while young and learn from it
My father came to America as a masters's student at an Ivy League college and finished his Ph.D here. After getting his doctorate, he worked as a professor. Mom took some community college classes but never worked so became a homemaker. I wouldn't say they "slaved" away. They bought some investment properties and also build up a retirement portfolio into the millions. My generation is doing really well and we are setting up our kids to do really well too. My oldest kid is currently maintaining a Summa Cum Laude gpa in honors EE.
@donaldkhlee most PhD programs are supported in the U.S. There are very few PhD students paying their tuition fee out of pocket. They also get additional salary for doing research which covers rent and groceries.
ABC here also GenX, similar situation however my parents learned english then went to the U.S., back in the days my pops did well by creating a myriad of chinese restaurants, however they never owned a home. I'm glad my parents moved all over the U.S. building restaurants which showed me various cultures from the east coast to mid west to the west coast. That was left to my siblings and I to own a home, I like to think we are doing well as we work in IT in the wage slave sector (average salary of 250k USD a year). It is never too late to learn a programming language and start applying to the commercial IT sector, in all honesty if you want progress with the technical trend, look for inspiration from any of the tech giants and follow through.
Darn. Your parents really set you up and it's amazing they had such foresight as boomers. Agreed, us in IT are better off with the salary we have, but you will retire sooner than I would probably and AI probably won't do as much damage to you as it will to me. I am opt for starting businesses and building brands as a way out. Chinese people + Western cultures make a force to be reckoned with in entrepreneurship I would think.
I live in Canada, one of my friends' dad was vietnamese, I only understood about 1/5 of what he said. He had some high paying job at Labatts, his wife didn't work, they lived in a 3,000 sq. ft. house
Dude, I became a passport bro & tbh, you should, too, after hearing your struggles. Been switching my time between Southeast Asia and Eastern Europe. Your money basically becomes 3x to 10x depending on what you spend it on. Texas is already cheap compared to New York when I was making ad money, so ymmv, but my guess is rent is 3x cheaper in any of those places. Liked & subbed.
I felt the same way in my twenties. If you can take a 4 day break to catch up w your personal stuff & food prep then u can save money to jump ahead. Otherwise, eating out will eat up your extra income. Many working class people do this too
my dad immigrated to california when he was in 40s couldnt speak english. Now he is multi millionaire. I don't work atm and he funds me a 6-figure salary...Literally complete opposite of being a slave for my situation.
"I understand that your situation with your parents is complex, but it's also important to acknowledge the opportunities they've provided for you. Your ability to speak English and explore opportunities in Canada are significant advantages that many people don't have. Have you considered how these opportunities might shape your future and help you build a better life?"
Indeed. It's not at all complex. I'm sure they are thinking, "We don't need your help to take care of us". But it's just a traditional asian thing I grew up seeing and feel like it's expected. I'm grateful they moved to Canada to give me the opportunities I have now.
Sorry man I couldn’t listen to your voice audio only coming out of the left speaker but the music comes through both. Maybe can you edit it on Vivaldi?
@@donaldkhlee i’m not OP, but i’m listening with mobile and the same is happening for me too. Camera audio into the left ear and some music in both ears. It was weird, so I just took my right earbud out. Easy peasy fix for me.
I think your parents never wanted to learn in the first place, my country is bilingual and I've seen some foreign workers come here and learn all the languages but some never did accept some words to get by.
I’m first gen and I guess I’m a bit lucky. My country (the Philippines) have English as its 2nd language so my entire family already learned and understood enough English when we went in legally. Plus my mom has a professional job. This experience is more on immigrants from Asian countries where English isn’t as spoken or learned and the parents not having some sort of professional career. Well despite this I did hear from my mom she still struggled in the first decade speaking in straight English same with my dad. The struggle is really the fact that my parents force me into the stereotypical successful career paths (for Filipinos people, its nursing) as in the all or nothing mentality ingrained and taught to most immigrant 1st gen kids. Asian mentality in a western environment or developing country mentality in a developed country. You can only do this so you don’t become that kind of thinking.
Agreed. Filipinos i know all had excellent english skills. It was amazing, but they are also very religious I find and integrate well with where they go.
My father with primary grade school education, left Portugal as an adult, came to Canada (Montreal) only speaking Portuguese and became a taxi driver. He taught himself to be perfectly fluent in French and English. Its a question of will and not being catered to by the govt. In Quebec, you are expected to integrate.
This is a very entertaining listen! You have a great voice and your life experiences are really similar to mine. We're actually very similar in many ways, grew up with a lot of freedom unlike the other Asian kids, dad is almost 70, I'm a year older than you are, still single and getting anxious about it... I finally just stepped into this job market a few weeks ago, hoping I find something! I also live in Texas lmao. Well, I'm not a Christian unlike you are, and I think if you put slightly more effort than you are doing now, you should be able to find a gf, you're a good looking dude. I'll check out the rest of your videos.
Thanks man, I appreciate you listening! You sound like a real cool dude. Don't be shy and stop me if we run into each other. Brothers gotta support one another in our endeavors! ✌️🙏
I'm Korean born and raised in Russia. My family immigrated here in the US and brought me with them eventually when I was 17 y.o. I look at the world today and the numbers speak for themselves. Wherever you go in the Democratic countries, you will find people struggling and wealth inequality gap not shrinking but increasing. Some people think it's unprecedented, but in fact, even in modern history there are many examples of wealth inequality being solved but ultimately emerging again. It's not just Asians. I think even born and raised people of any skin color are struggling financially in the US today. You can't afford buying a house; grocery prices increasing dramatically, and the so-called leadership is not only okay with that but propagates such living. I love democracy, but I don't love corporate welfare and their direct disruption of our pursuit of happiness. I think many Americans are sharing my view. And those who would ask "why won't you go back to Russia?" I ask why should I? I'm an American. I'm ready to lay my life to defend my country. I hold my country to higher standards. Russia is oligarchy, but unfortunately our country is resembling Russia more and more by the day, and that's my biggest fear, oligarchy where rich elites rule us all
I love Russians. They are very heartwarming people. And agree. USA is becoming an oligarchy just hidden in plain sight. Wish you well and hope the war stops with Trump in office. Don't need more young Russian lives to be lost.
Alot of family raising immigrant Europeans pick up French and English quite quickly. Some cultures just keep to talking. Fake it until they make it. My parents were too self-conscience to be that way. Fully understand where you come from Bro.
90% of the population area average regardless of race, it's a struggle for all people nowadays, In English Canada most people are first or second generation in, even if they are white, not a lot of people who have been here for centuries.
Many people are in your position. We native born Americans have it pretty good no matter our ages. I wish you well and that success will be yours in the near future. I wish I had something to add that would be helpful but I have been so privileged in life I cannot preach to others about anything. You are strong and intelligent. You will make it. Keep on telling it like it is. Love and best of luck.
I can totally understand their struggles. I also get why ppl think all you need are efforts and try to become more sociable to learn a new language. Unfortunately, not everyone are alike. So there's really no need to make an assumption that everyone can achieve the same level. Just be understandable and give them a hand. That's something I wish to see when my parents asked me why can't I get a better grade like them ... Be considerable and try to understand their struggles.
Watching from Toronto Canada. I identify greatly with everything your talking about. It's impossible to own a house in Canada and if you do, you will be a slave paying for mortgage and everything else. I don't know what you should do about your aging parents. Maybe all you can do is send money and fly there every three months for weekend visits. I wish you all the best. Liked and subscribed
Thanks for the support! Toronto is one of the other places where it's probably worse than in Vancouver. I hear stabbings and day light robbery. You exactly described my situation that some are struggling to comprehend. Software engineers can also be wage slaves.
No, you can still invest. Professionals say all you need is $5K to invest in something like a Fidelity or Vanguard annuity, etc. There are other types of long-term investments as well. You basically, need $5K to start and let that grow.
Regarding God’s commandment to multiply, if you read 1 Corinthians 7 verses 8-9: “to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
My parents immigrated to nyc to give the children better opportunities. They did try to learn basic English by taking some classes but because their day to day environment is chinese speaking, they only have a basic English levels. They worked very hard & their children (me & siblings) are college graduates. We definitely have it better than the parents. However it is getting more challenging for even college graduates to secure good jobs with good incomes for all Americans, not just specific to immigrant children. It all depends on the field you choose to work in and your own drive and luck. As s first born, I am intrinsically motivated & make strategic decisions regarding my career. Some of this is luck too. But I make 3-4x more than my siblings. I have an advanced degree in a field that pays well, though unstable while they do not.
Sound like we lived similar lives. Indeeed, I also strategized to get into the highest pay fields - software engineering. Now, I'm trying to make a side hustle on youtube haha.
The fact that you are aware of your situation, and the economic reality, you are 1/2 way home. The other 1/2 has to do how dedicated you are, and how important your future is for you. Secondly, many of the current gens are extremely selfish, and self centered, don't be like others. Self sacrifice for long term gain pays off. Don't be rudderless. Good Luck.
I’m a 1st generation Mexican born from immigrants in the US and u described my family’s situation perfectly. I liken the treatment of immigrants to farm animals. Shipped over the border to be put to work. Then put on display as scapegoats when the problems with our economic system inevitably show up. Completely consumed. Sad.
God bless you and your parents. The Mexicans around me are the nicest and most hardworking people. They do tend to put themselves lower or feel bad for their English skills which I dislike. I try to encourage them that we're all equal under God
This is correct. Not "literally", "fairly" or any other adjective. It is correct. It puts a burden on their children, but few truly realise how their children get tired of writing out forms or pretending to be theor parents on phone calls to gas bill companies.
I don't know how well it works for other languages but Google translate is amazing for Spanish. We're kind of at the point in our technology that a person could learn a major language besides English and people might not need to learn English.
Hey Jeremy here. I come to Vancouver at the age of 25 from Hong Kong. Moving to Canada as an immigrant can be easy mode if I just living in Richmond. But the route I took is an extreme but fruitful route, which is going to a local church and eventually became a Christian under a Christian culture and Christian spirituality. There’s too much culture difference makes me look stupid and awkward in that environment so I feel related to the 1st Gen honestly. I think the language barrier (or the culture barrier) is extremely hard to go through. But when I pass through, I experience the Exodus kinda feeling. And that is the first time I experienced Christ. He is taking the “slavery” from me and I feel more free than ever.
God bless you. You found one thing that most HKers don't find. The Christ. He is also my savior and Im glad that although you struggled, you eventually found salvation in our Lord Jesus. Amen and God bless brother !
I was just curious, if you’re parents struggled there whole lives, your grandmother struggled, you’re struggling, then why have a child and put the child through the same inevitable struggle in an evil and corrupt world where almost everyone has to struggle and suffer? Although I’m not Religious, I’ve read the Bible, and it says “to be fruitful and multiply” before God curses the world. Once we know it’s a cursed and wicked world, why would anyone want to multiply and keep the curse going?
I think you have a point that many agree with who don't want to have kids. I thought that once too in my life. I like to have hope and believe God will change things. I come from a family of atheist and I was atheist. Life looked brighter and though I suffer I have hope. Kind of like Job. Bringing a child in with that mindset, I don't think will be too bad.
I can respect that bro. If you do plan on having kids, just make sure you’re financially doing well, so they don’t have to suffer too much and will have a good safety net.
It seems that the US system traps people through the way healthcare and insurance costs are priced and supplied. People living in countries such as NZ and Australia are able access reasonable healthcare provided by the govt, or insurance if wanting more options or even savings enables one to travel to those asian countries that provide good healthcare at a certain price. Health is the biggest unknown factor when retiring. House prices are always the biggest cost in the majority of safe countries. Once you are on the property ladder and can pay the house off, you can then save for retirement. Although some people depend on govt. payments after they stop working, it is better to plan on relying on yourself and treat any payment you may get (as s/s payments are no longer a certainty the way govt is spending) as a bonus. Regarding caring for elderly parents, westerners tend to use their homes to. fund aged care. For example selling or renting out the home and moving into aged care. Another option that some take these days, provided they are still mobile and reasonably healthy, is to move into an apartment and have relatives help with shopping or difficult tasks. I know of people paying relatives to help where they are living elsewhere because of their better paying jobs.
The problem is ego for some. My parents at least. Because they own a lot of land, they refuse to downsize even though the kids are grown. But yes, American healthcare cost is crap. You can't get sick here or it's a one ticket ride to bankruptcy.
@@donaldkhlee Maybe this is happening ,like in your parents case cuz they were almost their whole life very poor, specially back in their HK days and they don't want their ''prize'' , ''trophy'' ''nest'' aka their houses etc, their real estate ,being taken away not even by a small faction cuz they have been deprived of that in the past ,their real estate fortune is their crown they have worked so hard, you can't even dare ask them to take it off ,NO NO lol...... so i kinda understand ur parents mentality. let's not forget that in Chinese and East Asian cultures that : owning and holding land has historically been a major form of power and influence in many cultures, including China and Japan. Landownership was often tied to wealth, social status, and political power. In feudal Japan, for instance, samurais (warriors) often served landowning lords (daimyo) who had significant power and influence. even the Japanese Kanji for the ''bushi'' warrior again of chinese origin ,like so many in Japanese wu3 shi4 (mandarin) mou5 si6 (cantonese) The Japanese character for "bushi" (武士), which means "warrior" or "samurai," indeed includes the component for "land." 武 (bu): "military" or "martial." 士 (shi): This character represents a scholar or a gentleman, but it is often associated with warriors in the context of "bushi." The character 士 is also connected to the word 土 (do/tsuchi), which means "land" or "earth." While the character 士 itself doesn't directly mean "land," it is often used in combination with 武 to convey the idea of a warrior who has a connection to the land, reflecting the historical context where samurais were both warriors and landowners. Chinese version (the original before Japan copied lol ) The character 士 (shì) does have historical and cultural associations with the land, especially given that in ancient times, noble classes and warriors often owned land. While the character itself doesn't explicitly depict land, its meaning evolved in a context where land ownership was synonymous with power and status. In ancient China, a "士" was a member of the gentry or scholar class, who were often landowners. Their role often intertwined with the ownership and management of land. So, while the character 士 doesn’t directly represent “land” like the character 土 (tǔ), it is definitely tied to the social and economic structures where land played a central role. So, in essence, the character reflects a class that held influence and power, often through land ownership So, the character "bushi" (武士) subtly carries the connotation of a warrior with ties to the land, embodying both martial prowess and aristocratic status So ur parents maybe even subconsciously are doing this, upward social mobility try to understand them bro,give them a chance LOL
Good video bro sometimes I think I would have been better off if my parents had sent me to a Western country alone because I felt like I had to carry their burden
Money? More specifically a CAPITALIST SYSTEM, rather than a Democratic-Socialist system, which focuses on the middle class needs, as well as corporate needs. Our capitalist system focuses primarily on corporate interests, but JUST ENOUGH of the people’s interests to avoid a civil war.
This is a complex subject for sure. I appreciate you talking about it. What I despise the most as 1st generation immigrant is how "colonized" we become. Material comfort is very important BUT it should not come at the cost of losing our identity and dignity.
Bro,thanks very much for this informative video (唔該) (mh goi) I can understand very much ur feelings and frustrations etc It is very interesting to listen to this,i also learn some things and you are very right in everything u described Btw i have heard the poorest district in Hong Kong SAR is Kwun Tong and not Sham Shui Po ,i mean it is number two or something Also as far i know Sham Shui Po is very near to the notorious ''Kowloon Walled City'' ,the dystopian place (no longer exists) we have seen also in the 1993 Jackie Chan ''Crime Story'' So if i am allowed to ask your parents or maybe grandparents are originally from some rural area of Guangdong province (from the Mainland) who went to colonial Hong Kong for a better life /escape persecution etc etc or as far as you know ur whole family history is from/in Hong Kong? Cuz i know these areas have many working class immigrants ,many from mainland and non-Chinese etc It was very interesting to learn about everything said on ur video Props to all the RUclips Walking channels as well,all these years that have taught me many things about Hong Kong and Macau and Mainland China and the ones that brought me to you (indirectly) via the algorithm lol
You guessed right. My family originally was from the Guangdong/Canton province before WW2 displaced them to HK. I have just been told that the poorest was Sham Shui po through my parents. Never actually been to Hong Kong, so you may know more than me!
Hard to make a lot money Lot immigrants willing to come to Canada and willing to work for cheap. They bring wages lower and lower Anything from tech to Tim Hortons
Good insights. First-generation seems to have its own unique pathology. But as someone who immigrated WITH their parents during my formative years… I would say the peculiarity there is maybe my category doesn’t feel _quite_ as much of that “slavery” pathology. My parents couldn’t really ‘weaponize’ The cross-border differences too much against us, because…. I owned firsthand experiences to both lifestyles/conditions. They couldn’t BS me. I kind of had your aunt’s situation .
That's very fortunate. Yeah if my aunt had the money to go to college, she would have made a killing. But alas, money and priorities didn't allow that to happen.
Next vid, check your audio and make sure your voice track is on both on the left and right channels. This vid you can only hear the left channel. Depending on some devices your voice won't be audible because they prioritize one channel over the other.
Thank god my dad came from HK at age 17 and was elgible for highschool to learn english, then he went to China to marry my mom (age 26) after college at age 28. So my mom didn't learn much english,
Guess they didn't wanna reveal he lost his net worth, which would perhaps put him in a positive light. Who knows. But it's weird how Trump isn't even on there.
Thing aren't that bad in Canada. This past weekend, my mom who is 70 had to be admitted to the ER as her appendix had burst and had emergency surgery right away in Vancouver. We never had to fill out crazy amount of forms and didn't have to pay a cent as we have universal health care. The surgeon saved her life and all the nurses were so kind and she also had a private room. Sure we pay high taxes, but I would rather have that then to be in debt for a huge medical bill at the end. My dad was diagnosed with leukemia and made a full recovery with a stem cell transplant (with 4 matches found right away) and had the best specialists, nurses and care. We didn't pay a cent, and had this been done in the USA, it would have cost over $2 million USD. My parents are also immigrants from Hong Kong and China and I'm a millennial. Both parents also didn't have extended health care benefits as they retired and didn't buy any additional. I feel quite blessed to have grown up in Vancouver and we didn't have it easy either. We owned restaurants that failed, worked in factories, worked in other people's restaurants etc.. and we are blessed to be where we are. I think everyone's circumstances are different and it's all about mindset. My brother, who didn't graduate high school, now owns a wholesale distribution business with 14 people on his payroll in Vancouver and I work in government.
Tell us which year this happened to your mom and dad. My wife was pregnant in January 2020 and we had to run from Surrey to Burnaby because there were no Ultrasound slots available within the next 4 weeks. Turns out she had a molar pregnancy and us waiting for a slot in the same city would have been deadly. It may have been good pre-2015 but things have gone downhill after.
@@esparda07 Sure. My mom had her treatment this past weekend and she will be discharged tomorrow. So January 3rd to January 6th, 2025. My dad was diagnosed on December 8th, 2021 and was receiving chemotherapy and finally completed his stem cell transplant on July 11th, 2022. Both my parents were treated in Vancouver, one at Vancouver General Hospital and the other at Mount Saint Joseph. We have friends who are nurses or have experienced treatment in hospitals as patients in Surrey and told us to stay far away. They told us to drive to other hospitals even if it takes longer. I've had good experiences in Vancouver, Burnaby and Richmond so far. Been to the emergency more than I can count as my parents are in their mid 70's and have a host of health issues. Mount Saint Joseph is a small hospital and is great if you need to ever go to the ER as the waiting times are not as long and the staff are amazing. However, their ER hours are from 8am to 8pm daily. I'm sorry to hear about your wife's pregnancy back in 2020. Sounds terrible they had you run from Surrey to Burnaby. Hopefully things are a lot better now for you and your wife.
I actually agree with you. My dad had a big fall and he was able to get it checked out and get a CT scan right away. I think that is a vancouver privilege though. I don't think the healthcare is as good in other provinces. I've heard of long waits that literally led to death in places like Ottawa or Montreal. Might be because population is higher, but y'all might know better than me. I haven't lived in Vancouver for 8 years now!
@@donaldkhlee I'm glad your dad got a CT scan right away, what a huge relief! Was it in Vancouver? And yes, living in Vancouver is definitely a privilege. We worked really hard to live in this city and my parents didn't speak any English when they first immigrated here 45 years ago and didn't have much education. The struggle was real to say the least but I am forever grateful for everything we went through that has made us stronger today to face life's ups and downs. I work in healthcare (not direct patient care) and we are in touch with all the health authorities on a daily basis, so I have a really good understanding of what goes on here in BC. Oh yeah, the East Coast has way more people than us and there is a huge shortage of doctors, nurses, health care assistants etc.. throughout Canada. A lot will head to the USA for better opportunities and pay.
A lot of what you said is true but at the same time still lots of opportunities. Multiple sources of income and hustle will get you ahead. Im a bit older than you but similar situation with aging parents. I take care of my parents and they live with me. Having freedom and being more focus on yourself too much is a wrong approach. I think you just have to be more creative and work harder to get everything you want in life.
Homeschooling is a choice but it is highly individualistic choice that impacts negatively the larger community. Put your kids in public school and get involved in the school. It helps everyone.
I'm not sure how bad public school in the area is, but I think children being homeschooled could miss out on a lot of social interactions and friendships
I did not know that. No wonder it seems to hard for me to learn spanish. Though mandarin came easily for some reason. Reading and talking wise (maybe bc I spoke canto as a first language)
I dont think it's just asian americans. Im immigrant from eastern Europe and it's same. Also, my friends parents are back in his home country and he can't go back anytiem soon due to political asylmun status he is going through eight now. He is in much worse situation as there is a cahnce he will never see his parents again.
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So... your parents were poor and struggling in China, so they immigrated to America where they get to be poor and struggling. Plus, they don't understand the language and the society.
You ever wonder what was the point of it all?
Do not, DO NOT do the STARTING a FAMILY or Marriage now. We are in the starting phase of the the GREATEST ECONOMIC COLLAPSE in history.
I remember many Cantonese speaking Chinese coming to USA in the 70s and 80s, also from Viet Nam and southeast China. Hard working people!
Slaves don't go on strike, Chinese railroad workers went on strike for equal pay in 1867
CHATTEL slavery is a specific type of enslavement that ONLY Native NORTHER/SOUTHERN AMERICANs & BLECKS went through
To me, most people are modern slaves. Like 80~90%. That is why it is important to gain financial freedom.
And they don't even recognize it.
Financial freedom😂
They need to find freedom in their thoughts. We’re not all gonna be rich and that’s okay .
@kojoefante I agree. You can still be financially free without being rich. The amount of money needed for financial freedom depends on each person's lifestyle. It doesn't necessarily mean becoming rich. If you can live with $0,000 a year, that's all you need for financial freedom.
@@donaldkhlee I don't see how people can be so naive to the modern day slavery that goes on today with a lot of jobs; The illusion of massive financial advancement that the United States presented to us in the 90s died long time ago
Learning a language takes a lot effort and these immigrants are in survival mode
💯
It also takes being completely surrounded and integrated with the english language, and a lot of the community's group together and isolate from natives, it's more comfortable of course, but adding how much time is spent working, if you also only hang out with other people who speak your native language, there's just no chance@@donaldkhlee
's, when our parents came here, they came with pennies in their pockets, and they were hated for being outsiders, So your story is very typical for what a lot of our families went through
Great GFs.❤
Learning English is in fact a survival mode in the West. English is in fact a very easy language to learn, 40-50 hours, you'll be able to speak it in broken sentence that is understandable. I had to picked-up Spanish at the age of 40+ in order to get around in Mexico.. so what excuse is there?
@ easier said than done
Most immigrant working 80 hours a week like my uncles and don’t have time . Most are stuck in their own ways too .
tell that to the immigrants here . Most don’t care to learn the lanaguage . They for make money and they stick and work within their communities so it works
Just make a million. Just be perfect bro
I'm a Chinese Born Canadian as well, and I remember always telling my Father why he didn't learn English after being here for so long. You only start to realize their struggles when you're older. I'm 29 and I work full time, and I hardly have any time at the end of the day to do much other than watch some youtube videos. I can now understand how my parents wouldn't have time to learn engligh when they're raising kids while working full time.
Hahaha. Seems like we are alike. It is only when we're older than we realized the sacrifices they made for us and can be appreciative of it. God bless you for becoming so wise!
Learning English or any 2nd language was much more challenging back then. Lack of time and lack of convenience... today we have apps like DuoLing to help us, at it's pretty convenient. You can practice on it while taking public transit, etc.
@@donaldkhleePlease dont be offended but we are in the Greatest Depression collapse and it would be foolish and selfish to HAVE KIDS/Children into this hyperinflation horrific future. This will last a long time and do not fall for the lies that each and every human must become a parent.
Lol, it's called anti social. You're parents decided not to try. It just requires speaking. You literally carry your voice around with you every day.
@@dallassegno I kind of agree because as a 3rd generation Hispanic who barely knows Spanish, I think you're right. If I just hung out with fully speaking Spanish people, I would be fluent by now (29 years old).
I just started caring and am trying to work on my Spanish, and realized it's not as tough as my fears of the unknown made it out to be.
But on the other hand, as a fellow human being, you should understand how hard it is to have way too much in your plate at once.
Imagine having to go to a completely different country. The culture shock, plus having to constantly work because YOU are your family's provider. You might feel drained, lost, the weight of the world on your shoulders. So you hang out with those you can talk to easily, and after a hard day of work you just want to rest.
But my Grandma on my mom's side can speak English with anyone, while my grandmother on my dad's side barely knows any English at all. So it does come down to a willingness to be uncomfortable and just surround yourself with those who speak the language.
Plus, correct me if I'm wrong anyone, but from other videos I've seen, when Chinese immigrants first started coming to the USA, they only really had eachother. So I think they have a culture of not being to buddy-buddy with Americans even though they came here for better opportunities.
When you’re in “survival mode” your brain can’t even process learning anything EXTRA.
You are not only physically and emotionally exhausted - you are mentally exhausted as well.
When you’re able to enjoy a reprieve and look back on it, your parents might ask themselves why they didn’t learn English.
But looking back when you’re more stable can make you feel guilty . . . But that survival time period is very, very difficult to overcome and it’s frightening as well.
Congrats to your parents for wanting something better!
I cannot agreed with you more!
Well said
My dad move to the US (Bay Area) back in the mid 70’s. He is 87 now and still doesn’t speak a lick of English. He lives in Oakland Chinatown and only stays in that community.
That was my grandpa haha
This applies to everyone (all diaspora). Understand, the American Empire is an offspring of the British Empire. It prefers to colonise the World using International Finance Capital based out of the "City of London" but will not hesitate to use sanctions, force and violence when necessary (WW1, WW2, Yugoslavia, Iraq, Syria, Ukraine etc..). There are "managers" that branch out to maintain the Empires control like BIS (Bank of International Settlements), Wall Street, MIC (military industrial complex), Westernised academic institutions (i.e. Neo-liberal economics), Western foundations and think tanks (i.e. Ford, Rockefeller, Chatham House) mainstream media, NGO's etc. The purpose of Imperialism is wealth extraction (land, resources, labor, human mind etc..) from the World for the benefit of a Racist Elite minority. Imperialism keeps and forces countries to stay under-developed and dependent. YOUR parents and others HAD TO immigrate because their own countries were under-developed and dependent. Moving West (to center of the Empire) does provide more opportunities. HOWEVER, things have changed. The Global South has fought hard to gain Sovereignty and independence (i.e. BRICS) which is why the West is going down and along with that the diaspora's opportunities. Like it or not, in the Western Empire, there is a glass ceiling for immigrants and not every immigrant is "top of the class". Many are just "average" and dependent for others to provide income and stability.
That's why there's propaganda against China which is rising to rival against the West.
That's why the PRC is getting hate from the west. It's rising up to rival them.
Darn. That was a history lesson I needed. Thank you! And agreed, but with BRICS each of those nations have their own problem. Biggest of which is the replacement rate bc people are getting older with not enough children to replace. It's going to be some wild next few years surely.
@@donaldkhleeand if they don’t pay china back they are contractually obligated to pay with their natural resources. Look up any Chinese dynasty and you’ll find imperialism. BRICS is not what you think it is-it is debt trap diplomacy and those projects only go through because of bureaucratic pressures
It always baffled me why anyone from a first world country would willingly immigrate to the us. But I suppose in the past it was different. I've heard stories of l....nchings of yellow or foreign skinned people and severe discrimination even now, why be a 2nd class citizen there?.
My parents are first generation immigrants to the U.S. Came here to give me and my sibling a better future and life. They don't know English and had limited options for job. Worked in factories, manufacturing companies, and restaurants. I remember my dad having to jump from one job to another as there's always instability. Mom had to work over hours to bring food to the table. My sibling and I worked hard. We have professional jobs now and definitely living a lot better. But what brings us back to remember that we're not exactly out of the loop is that first generation immigrant parents don't have pension or much savings when they retire. Dad passed away. Mom now lives with my sibling and we take care of her financially. Luckily no severe health issues now, but that may happen in the future. What I realize is some of my friends and co-workers' parents live independently and their kids don't have to take care of them as much as my sibling and I have to for our mom. The generational and cultural difference is there. To my mom, it's our job to take care of her because she sacrificed her life to come here. When she gets upset, she thinks the grass is greener. Always thinking about how it's so much better in her home country. I get it. She doesn't speak English. She feels like she didn't live a life that's completely fulfilling. But what she doesn't realize is her relatives in her home country are having a hard time with inflation and we are actually better off than them. If my sibling and I did not do well in school and obtain professional jobs, I don't see how my mom would get the care she does now. Thanks for making this video. It's much needed to talk about.
This is exactly my point. Thanks for sharing. A lot of people who never are in this situation judges. I'm glad we share the same problems and that we found success and are paying it back. Upwards and beyond! ✌️❤️
Thanks!
You're welcome! 🙏🙏 Thank you for the support!
if you want to know their struggle, just go off to Japan for a few days and feel how awkward it is when everyone speaks to you in Japanese but you clearly can't respond.
Happened in Vietnam. I'm not vietnamese, but man I felt bad for not being able to respond haha.
I couldn’t understand why my parents didn’t learn English as well. It definitely made it harder growing up to not have much guidance from my parents in terms of schooling and career. Though don’t know if they would have been able to give much help since they never graduated high school. I can totally relate. You are smart to have moved to the US. My parents are in Canada and want us to move back to Vancouver. I am like no way will I do that especially since my kids are starting their careers and there is so much more tech jobs here in the US. Hopefully you will find the right person and start a family. You have a lot of wisdom to share. I enjoy your channel.
Thank you. I completely agree with you. Vancouver is like LA, a crap hole without opportunities. I agree with your decision to keep your kids in the US. The next 4 years is going to be great for us!
Don’t be so obtuse. Go to Sri Lanka or Arabian countries and try YOU to learn their language.
My parents are from India. They should have stayed in India
Why is that haha?
Exactly
I agree. My parents are from India too (from Patna, Bihar). I wish they didn’t tear themselves from India and start this new American existence. This is not me being ungrateful; it’s just very strange being a second-generation American. Asians are not even 10% of the U.S., even when you lump the incredible multitude of South, East, Southeast, and Central Asian nations.
@@donaldkhlee with their personalities they have a distinct lack of ability to adapt. They are living in the past. Even India isn't what they remember it to be, but they have a hard time adjusting to the way of life here. And they are educated. My mom is a physician and my dad is an attorney but they could never really be the type of success that they would have been if they stayed in India. On top of that they don't have the same social support that they would have had. Have they stayed in India as we don't have any extended family here. Essentially after they die I'm pretty much by myself. I have become a parent to them
You can go back there 👍🏼
This is exactly what Latinos go through. We work our asses off and the only ones who benefit are our children.
It's worth it if it's for your children
Not all parents are benefitting. The kids can fck up. Like my neighbors kid. Parents gave him all they got. This kid goes to super expensive art school, runs up 100k+ student loan for a useless degree. Right now he sits at home without job, and expects his parents to pay off his loans. The parents literally working to day they will die as there is no end in sight to their financial liability.
half Japanese half American here, this is pretty relatable (except my parents both know english so that makes things easier) but my parents slave away working for barely any money and they had been since my siblings and I were born. My American grandfather helped us get a home 20 years ago, but it's still difficult to maintain in this economy. One of my life goals is to help them retire, kinda struggling right now but I know I can do it, there's not a doubt in my mind.
You can do it. Sounds like we're in the same boat. Let's rise together!
Still better than my uncle case!!
I’m Vietnamese, born & raise in Vietnam
My uncle is boat people immigrants to Australia in 1987s with his wife (he was 20yo at that times & married 1y ago before he chose to leaving)
He’s immigrants in AUS with no English, no education, in Vietnam he work in tailor shop.
Immigrated as refugees, gorvement put them in REFUGEES CAMPS FOR 2 YEARS & release them outside with some help find a jobs, so he work in manufacture.
Work from early 8Am to 6Pm, and work as clean dish till 9PM.
He have to work 2 jobs to feed his wife was pregnant!! At that’s times they’re paying very low-pay for refugees.
He’s almost work like that for 10y after he landing in AUS!!
His wife give birth 2 times, 2 daughter.
They’re almost rarely to meet him since he working whole day since they’re still sleep at morning & he come back home they’re already sleep!!
Only meet once at Sunday!!! Saturday he’s go to Chinese/Viet market to find part time jobs!!
He though it will be good since he want to help my family & others siblings in Vietnam in 90s Vietnam still poor & suffering!!
2 of his daughters only know about mom, listen to her & speak ENGLISH, they’re rarely speak Vietnam, they think it’s not cool, weirdo
So since they’re 7-8yo they’re dont speak Vietnamese & dont want to learn Vietnam, only speak English at shools with friends & people around.
Till teenage, both kids almost like Aussie & not even know much Vietnamese, parents & kids rarely have conversations because my uncle cant speak English!!
His wife is blame him & very aggressive, take all money & find the way to brings her family siblings from Vietnam immigrants to Aus.
But my uncle saving 500$ want to help siblings in Vietnam, she slaps him & beat him!! All friends & neighborhood know this!!
He’s angry & slaps her back, pull her hairs. She call police & report him, he get caught for fews weeks!!
The kids always protect mom & hate him, they’re get brainwashed by the mom to hate him, blame him!!
In early 2000s, they’re broken, the kids is totally hate him!!
She’s married another immigrated Vietnam man & take all the money from my uncle, living good life & open small shop.
My uncle still work 2 jobs & meet others Vietnam immigrants lady as well, she’s work in nails shop!!
But after 10y they’re also broken. He lost second times, all his last saving is help second wife open nails shop, after broken relationships, he have nothing!!
The first wife, fews years ago have cancer & dead.
The 2 daughter is still not close to him as much as family, but at least they’re growing up well being healthy & beautiful & education well, now both have jobs & married & have their own family!!
Sometimes my uncle invited them & request meetings them, they’re meet & have dinner. That’s all, very cold & not really close relationship of dad & daughter of same bloods!!
My MOM very upset & sad for him, his situations of hard work man give up everything of his youngful day, throw his life in boats suffering in deep seas to West to find new life, better life for himself, his wife, his kids & whole family!!
Working whole life like slaves & never complain!!
Get treat as second class people in the immigrants country!!
But end up very sadly this way at mature old age!!
Vietnam nowadays is getting better & more development & peaceful.
The situation is bad at after wars for more than 2 decades, its terrible!!
Sometimes my mom & we think WHAT IF he stay in Vietnam, I don’t know if his life is better or worsen?!
But now he have no house in Aus, living in rental house & still working at 65yo!!
2 daughters live in same city but far away & not really care about him!!
Once, he’s sick & stay in hospital couple day but hard to ask them!!
FAILS, IT’S FAILS, second & third Asian generation in US & Western, no matter how much they’re successful. But if they can’t even speak their roots language & cant take care, don’t want to take care their parents which is love them to dead to sacrifice their life, it’s sad fails!!
They’re get brainwashed by Westerners mindset & attitudes & not really thankfully or trying to understand their parents!!
Not all, but alots case like this!!
I hope Asian born & raise in US & Western should respect & take care their parents & stop copy Western lifestyle, after growing up & dumping their parents!!
This is cruel & not something humans do.
They’re blame it US lifestyle, old people have gorvement take care to nursing house!! They’re Youngful & want to fly, enjoys & travel & experience this world!!
This is not fair & not rights in any levels.
@@HauTran-sunfromsouth wow, I read the whole story, it really puts things into perspective how bad the human experience can really be. Your uncle has been through so much, it's not fair at all.
It's like losing your innocence for the second time, when you see how dark the world really is and how nobody really cares about you. The system will just take advantage of your labor like you're a number. It's modern day slavery, but it's marketed as freedom. It's all a golden pair of handcuffs. All I think about everyday is how I need to find another way. I'm also aware of how a woman can ruin your life, there are so many stories of that happening in western countries so luckily I can learn from other people's stories. I did have a girlfriend earlier and felt trapped in that relationship that I knew wasn't good for me, luckily I left and now am focused on a new path forward.
I think a lot about where I want to live eventually, but I do love both of my parents a lot and want to be here for them before they die, so I'll stay close to stick with family. Not all the members of my family are people I can tolerate though, as some have just been outright narcissistic and abusive, at one point I was like the "scapegoat" or the "black sheep" of my family for a number of years. But these days, fortunately things have gotten much better in those regards. But you're right, it is insane how in countries like the US and Australia, people just leave their parents behind and send them to a senior home till they die. Whereas in other countries, the kids stay in the parents house and take care of them when they get older. There are a lot of things from other cultures that the West could learn from. I could talk about that all day.
Also, my brother in-law is from the Phillipines, his mother apparently has been thinking of going back.. I can't blame her, it's so beautiful over there. But in America all we see is highways and ugly infrastructure. Not to mention, our whole culture revolves around work. It's like the only solution right now is to work hard and smart and escape the system so that you don't have to be a slave like everyone else. That's all I think about really. Escaping this system, or beating it altogether.
Once you can save 35 grand, you can sell cash covered puts and make $1000 per month on volatile stocks like Tesla and micro strategy. Or do hedged spreads with less money.
まあああ最近は大変の方がいれば。がんばれます！幸せが追いかけて！
Well, my grandpa was a wealthy silversmith and owned large rice paddies. Lost everything in America's war. Turned me into a first gen refugee. Came here with literally, the cloths on my back. Grandpa continued the trade in the US. My dad opened a small business netting $150k a year in the 90s. I went to college and make 6 fig. My friends and their families continue to be poor while we just kept moving up. The moral of this story is that if you don't know a trade, you're going to be poor no matter where you go.
I'd argue that your family is full of hustlers.
@donaldkhlee I supposed you could say that my families are hustlers. Making silver jewelry and selling them to people who want them is a hustle. Opening a store and providing locals their cultural foods and spices could be a hustle. I, on the other hand, could fall into your definition of slaving. Even with my comp sci degree, I still work for the man. But my family's plight is hardly special. Many people from Cantonese with cooking skills came to the US, opened restaurants and thrived. Their kids thrive. Those who came with no skills work for these restaurants and go nowhere. You can't just go somewhere and think things are going to get better.
@donaldkhlee my father is just like yours though. Over 40 years in the US but he still speaks English like he did back in the 80s. You'd figure since English is everywhere he'd improved, but nope. He finally admitted (or told me just shut me up) that he was just too lazy since what he knows was enough to put me where I am. Can't argue with that.
Thats what i keep telling the youngsters learn a trade they are universal.
David, your assessment of the current situation is correct. Boomer here and I have 2 millennial children and one gen Z. My oldest son married and started his family before Covid. He was able to buy a home in North Carolina and is doing well. My middle daughter has a decent job, owns a condo but she and her husband cannot afford a single family home. My youngest daughter is your age and she and her husband had first child in an apt. They know they will never be able to afford home in DC area and are planning to move to lower cost area. I’m 66 and plan to retire this year. I’m currently at my parents home helping care for my dad who is 87. Agree that the cost of living is highest I’ve seen I’m my lifetime and appears to be a worldwide problem. You should still aspire to find a wife and have a couple children. Having a family has been my greatest success.
God bless. More need to see your message. Children are the blessings I hope Ill get the chance to raise.
I am 'bout your dad's age - 1959, and also came to Vancouver in the 70's, and also lived in ShamShuiPo. One of my 2 sons is with us and the other is in Kansas City. Scary parallel. I want to tell you, and I am sure your dad would want to as well, take good care of yourself and your own family first. Make sure they get the best with what you can bring home. We will be just fine.
Gosh darn it. This hit me right in the heart. ❤️🙏
Thank you for your kindness and advice. I needed to hear that. I rather put a lot of pressure on myself to take care of my parents, but I'm sure they've done the same for me all my life.
Thank you sir.
Interesting comment :)
You have indeed many similarities with the uploader of this video
Thanks for posting ur comment
I think the ''filial piety'' (孝) Confucian (Ru) thing is something that is ingrained deeply
on the psyche of Chinese people
Almost all Chinese sons and daughters,even if they live in a Western society and have fully integrated
with the majority non-Asian/Chinese population keep their values, it is like something on the DNA, done unconsciously after so many thousands years of evolution/history and tradition
Congratulations,sir, for ur achievements in life and for everything u have done in ur life for ur
children and family
Btw bro,since u are from Sham Shui Po ,specially in the 60's and 70's ,u might have seen/witnessed tough moments back then....
and u have had ''the privilege'' (irony) to witness/experience the Kowloon Walled Town and the influence the triads had , was in their heydays i guess
thanks for sharing ur comment sir,again
Btw I am not chinese,not even from Asian or America but i am very big Asianophile and Sinophile and everything
thanks and i wish all the best
Best to be a great ancestor for your kids and their kids… and not be burdened by your ancestors. Filial piety is love and respect for parents (freedom, no interference, admiration) but not to be confused with suicidal empathy, which is abandoning all for the sake of being a ‘good’ person.
I’m very touched by this video and the story of your family.
Thank you Stella!
I remember asking my parents why they didn't go to college. Now that I am older and more well traveled, I get why. Being in a foreign country is tough as a traveler in the modern day... let alone in the 70s ( when my parents came to the west)
Exactly. I don't even know how they made it without google translate.
@@donaldkhlee they most likely wouldnt even have had passed college with the language barrier
@@quincy189they probably would,you’d be surprised how certain resources were available back then
I am an ABC and my parents came to the states in the late 70s. My family came to America pretty much with the shirts on their backs. There were about 10 of them in a little apartment in New York.
My family was a little lucky. My great uncle came to New York before them and had a restaurant in Chinatown. My dad worked for him and eventually opened his own restaurant.
My parents used all their money to open the restaurant. It was a huge gamble. If it didn't succeed, we would have been homeless. Thankfully, it was successful. Parents sold the restaurant and are now semi-retired.
I am not a risk taker like my parents and currently work at a large corporation.
I can't imagine how much pressure your parents were under, just to get to a little apartment with 10 people in New York.
Your parents did great in Canada! They own the house despite having low income! Had they come over now to Canada, they would've never made it. People with 6 figure income have a hard time buying a house.
I got prices out. I can do Washington though. But I'm tired with rain. Have to think about it.
@@donaldkhleetry SFbay area in particular east bay - it’s about 30min drive from SF and close enough to everything
Your parents are wise and brave! I came to the US to study in the 2010’s. One day I was doing groceries at my local family style asian store, a strong sense of gratefulness just hit me. I was thankful to he earlier immigrants that built the community, or simply who built the asian store and the whole overseas supply chain. It took lots of risks and error-tests
God bless you for coming over to study and work. Yes, I see that most immigrant understand the struggles for new immigrants and getting their feet planted.
What you have said is so true for Chinese immigrants. My great grandfather came from Canton in the late 1800's to San Francisco Chinatown. i am a third generation Chinese American and i am over 70 years old now. It took two generations to come from nothing for my family to gather generation wealth. What i had i learned to invest and i am now fortunate to be in the 3% net wealth of US population. It does take time for most immigrants to work and strive for a decent life in the US.
I praise you for being a good steward of the finances built by your ancestors. I think often, by your generation, most families become broke because the kids just don't know how to manage it and were/are spoiled.
Let's not forget that Cantonese people are the most ''adventurous'' and open-minded and business-inclined in my opinion among all other Chinese people, specially comparing to the Northeners.
The entrepreneurial spirit of Cantonese people has indeed played a significant role in their success around the globe. Historically, many Cantonese people from Guangdong province and Hong Kong ventured overseas in search of better opportunities. Their knack for business and willingness to work hard has led to thriving communities in places like the USA, Canada, Southeast Asia, and beyond.
Chinatowns in major cities worldwide often trace their roots back to Cantonese immigrants who established businesses and built tight-knit communities. Their success stories often include small businesses that grew into large enterprises, restaurants that became local favorites, and a strong emphasis on family and community support.
It's like their entrepreneurial spirit is in their DNA, helping them thrive no matter where they go.
I'm an Indian guy who was born and raised in the US, but both of my parents are from India. I have to say you gave me an interesting perspective on immigrant parents that can't speak English. My situation was different than yours in the sense my dad was educated in college in India but when he got here, he was able to pass the certifications he had to pass here to get jobs for what he had studied for in India. My mom on the other hand came here when she was 18 and went to community college but didn't finish since she decided to marry my dad. I was fortunate in the sense both could speak fluent English.
I remember asking my parents as a young adult once how did they get good with English, and their response was they felt to be successful in America that they had to be fluent in English. That they would invest a lot of time watching American TV shows and movies along with constantly speaking English with each other. What I found interesting that was the case with even their siblings who were not college educated but they had the same motivation as my parents which was they also believed to have a shot at making money they had to learn how to speak fluent English. They all felt they couldn't get by without being able to speak English.
I have always wondered why other immigrants couldn't learn how to speak English like my parents and my family did when they got here but now you have given me that answer. I have empathy for your parents since everybody's motivations are different and they felt in their situation they could scrap by not knowing English while in my family's case they didn't feel they could survive without learning English.
Thanks for sharing. I think your family was very forward thinking. My parents are not forward thinking and live in the present which is good in some ways. But that has its own consequences.
OP your situation is much different as English language is taught and spoken in India to a much higher degree
@@doctorx1924 English is the universal language. Everyone who doesn't learn it will be left behind
@@MADMOGtheFrugalmost Indians can hardly speak English
@@MADMOGtheFrugalit is taught everywhere, but old people are embarassed to learn it. They don't want to feel like failures, which is more than 90% of language learnings.
Such solid and valid thoughts on life, bless you, be kind.
God bless. Thank you for your support and kindness ❤️🙏
I'm writing a novel with a 1st gen Chinese as my "male lead" and came across this video as I was researching that perspective. Very enlightening. Thanks for sharing! Love your values and aspirations. Keep trusting God and believing. He'll make a way. Praying for you, your family, and your family to come😉
Wow, sounds exciting. I'd love to hear your novel when you're done!
Yeah, you're in a tough situation.
In America, my parent generation had a simple strategy: Buy house, good
So my dad was a pharmacist, my uncle an electrician, and my aunt a school teacher
So they had enough real estate and could manage to throw off enough income to support my dad before he passed away
My uncle/aunt also had real estate, but their children (my age) are squandering real estate and literally have no income. Crazy
When kids are spoiled, they don't know how to manage assets and wealth. Seems like the cycle.
During what time period did they become in these positions??
@@YouGotOptions2 60s
@@donaldkhlee It is very strange. I don't think they understand how the world works. They have very shallow thinking. Despite having degrees from good schools.
My parents moved to America in 1984 from south korea. We lived in Alabama and i remember the racism and gross food and how much i missed Korea
I lived in Bham. When I saw another asian, I pointed at them and they pointed back haha.
Your parents should’ve went to the Asian communities in Louisiana or Mississippi,Alabama is a heavily prejudiced state
I moved to the US, Oahu Hawaii in 1995 from South Korea. WORST DECISION and fatal mistake by my family. Hawaii is not a place for education and job opportunities because it's only an island and everything is super limited. Jobs are kinda there only in the tourism sector because their economy is mainly tourist based. They brought me there as a child and expect me to grow old and live on that island for the rest of my life. I got tired of living there only after like 6 months. The island fever kicked in and I was ready to leave but couldn't. When I told them that I don't like it here, my family scold me and call me stupid. They also said im rejecting blessing. OMG. It's why I hate and hold grudge against my family . I don't care what anyone says. My family is bunch of morons. Older gen Koreans are dumb and they fantasize the US as if it's a heaven or something. The US and Hawaii are the two most overrated place on earth. I literally did not see much of improvement. The only thing I see more are homeless, drug addicts, street bums, losers, creeps and shady/sketchy people outside.
1st generation immigrants always have it the roughest.
1st generation american born of immigrant children have to then build up from the foundation.
it doesn't start getting better until the kids of the 1st gen american born of immigrant children.
we see this with the old chinese railroad immigrants lineage or the japanese immigrants. 1st gen suffers. 2nd gen or (kids of 1st gen immigrants) also suffer but they build up. then the ones that finally get to reap the fruit is the 3rd gen (or the grandkids)
I highly agree with you. A friend of mine was 3rd gen and he lived so much better than the 1st gen kids. But he couldn't speak a lick of his native ancestors tongue though
@@donaldkhlee there is always a trade off
1st gen = parents or you who immigrated into the west
2nd gen = you or someone who is born in the west from immigrant parents
3rd gen = kids of 2nd gen
It normally takes 3 generations to fully assimilate usually by 3rd or 4th they forget their motherland language. 1st gen has it hard but usually they came as a couple and 2nd gen has it the worst cause you are basically 2nd class or 3rd class citizen having to complete with westerners in their circle. First gen usually just associate with other first gen even if they come single dating is still easy and they find other first gen or go back to mainland find wife if youre a male if youre female you can just marry western male cause that option isnt given for 1st gen asian males. 2nd gen is kids who want to get into western circles but get rejected most of the time. Females born in 2nd gen look down on 2nd gen asians and see them as 3rd class citizens. Mexicans and blacks are 2nd class to them in dating world white is 1st. So you see this problem with 2nd gen for male immigrants is the hardest. Fun fact most 2nd gen asian males don't even get to reproduce in the west because they get cuucked and the 2nd gen asian girls run to the leftover white guys (the white guys that couldnt land a avg skinny white girl) Most 3rd gen is from kids from 2nd gen asian females not from asian males.
You bring up a good point and hit it right on the nail. As a first generation asian from refugee parents, i can attest to this. You spend most your life working hard at school, getting a good job, paying bills, raising kids just to die. Hampster wheel at its finest. Seeing it play out my in law and aging parents. Sad situation all around. The other side of the coin is if they would have stayed in the war torn county and how our lives would have played out. Regardless, im grateful for my parents sacrifice to be born in America and to reap the sucess and convienance in a first world county. Good video
I agree. We sacrificed everything for our children. The hamster wheel doesn't stop, but we live in the country of opportunity. Let's get it!
A lot of young people lack guidance when they are young. Thus leading them to not make better decisions in life. These decisions can be education, marriage, diet, social circles, and so forth. And it can carry on to the next generation and create a wicked cycle. I know a lot of my relatives like your parents who never received a good support system when they were in their youth.
Indeed, a good support system is always needed, but most of us don't realize that we need them. You're 100% correct. For most people, we get poor education, marry the wrong people, eat the wrong things that kills us, and are in the wrong social circle that encourage us to be less than what we have potential for.
Thanks for your insight!
@@donaldkhlee Alpha /Sigma Wise Gigachad comment :)
Amazing comment,u nailed it bro
I too moved from Asia to USA when I was 20. And English is very important. I spoke English but had to Americanized it. So went to college here and got an American degree, worked in US corporates for over 30 years. While I did fairly well, I would also say that there is a glass ceiling for folks like us in the west. I totally understand those who moved from China/HK/Taiwan and had to work menial jobs to survive, why its hard to learn English under those circumstances. But I take my hat off to them for trying hard to succeed in a different society. So many of my old friends in Asia who remained in Asia never had to deal with discrimination. The immigrant experience should be celebrated, their hard work in a different society should be admired and respected. I don't see them as slaves but as pioneers that set an example of toughness, perseverance, for their offsprings to emulate.
Heck yeah! Love that attitude. People forget that immigrants built the West. You can't have USA or Canada without immigrants.
The prejudice for not being able to speak a language for being here a few years is crazy. Step in their shoes for a moment.
@@donaldkhlee Immigrants did not build the West.
Nicely said:
check this text:
The construction of the Canadian Pacific Railway (CPR) significantly depended on the labor of Chinese immigrants.
The CPR was built between 1881 and 1885.
More than 17,000 Chinese men were hired to work on the railway, especially in the toughest and most hazardous sections in British Columbia.
Working Conditions: These workers endured extremely harsh conditions, performing dangerous tasks like handling explosives and working in challenging terrains. They received $1.00 per day, which was less than their European counterparts, and had to pay for their own food and equipment.
Contributions: Despite the difficulties, Chinese laborers were crucial in the completion of the railway, which was vital for connecting the eastern and western regions of Canada.
Recognition: Unfortunately, Chinese workers were often neglected in historical records and celebrations, such as the famous "Last Spike" photograph, which notably did not include them.
This alone speaks volumes about what u described in ur comment
and unfortunately there is still discrimination in the 21st century
that's unacceptable and crazy considering that such countries as Canada and USA are immigrant countries lol
@ 17,000? You do know that there are many millions of canadians, tens of thousands of times more, not working for 4 years, but their entire lives? lol. Yes, great contribution, but they're hardly responsible for "building the country" like canadians have just been sitting around watching! laughable
@donaldkhlee What do you mean "immigrants built the west"?
Pretty sure the West built the West.
It's difficult seeing my own parents and my grandparents getting older. I want to go back to study (different field) while working and I'm not sure how I can balance everything. My family speaks English and Spanish but they work a lot. I spoke more fluent English since everyone spoke English in school. I only recently bought online Spanish and other languages online on sale, and focusing primarily learning Spanish using a language app. I do small practices everyday, I have picked up on Spanish quickly and I am able to hold some conversations. My mom has tried to teach me Spanish but she is always doing something even when I help her out. So I'd just learn Spanish on my own and listen to Spanish videos and podcasts while multitasking. Then I'd talk in Spanish with my mom and speaking to family relatives on the phone. Language learning takes time and I know not everyone has time. I'd say the best way to learn new languages is to know the basics first and then listen to how people talk in media, it can be videos, podcasts. I am able to pick up on language quickly that way. I am aiming to be multilingual. So far I speak English, Spanish and ASL. Many people are in survival mode especially with rising inflation and even I am finding myself working more hours whenever I can to help my family and I'd study late at night before bed. I admire immigrant's hard work, they keep going to provide a better life and better education. But it is frustrating seeing the rich get richer and many working Canadians/Americans being priced out of the housing market and crazy high inflation. I'm in the USA and a working American citizen, trying to aim for a better paying job just to try to save up and go back to college to study for a better career.
I admire your tenacity to learn spanish. I tried to as well, but once I leave the environment, I totally lose the ability to speak it .
Experienced the opposition: 1st gen CBC moved to Singapore at Grade 5 and found it impossible to learn Mandarin. Failed every year. Not everyone is built to learn multiple languages.
Mando is stinking hard. Chinese is one of the hardest languages out there after arabic iirc.
@ agree its hard, but then again, i failed french in Canada too. Lol. Sometimes it the student. Btw, Insightful and thoughtful video-thanks for making it!
My parents were first generation immigrants from the Philippines. Dad was a doctor and mom was a nurse. After immigration to the U.S. in the 1980s, by the 1990s income was 200k+ a year. Took vacations all over the world and was not wanting for toys or anything growing up. I guess if you were uneducated from China or somewhere else with no skills and competing low wage jobs with native born Americans it would have been much tougher.
Yeah, it sounds like your parents were real outliers!
@ were they? In many little towns you will see doctor are from places like Pakistan, Philippines, Taiwan etc. that’s why on income in the U.S. Asians have higher than whites.
my story is similar, i'm a couple years older 40 this year, chinese moved to australia in the mid 90s with only $300 USD didn't speak any english, it was always about survival i started working from 13 so i dont become a burden to the family, it is through this my family achieved much more as compared to others and even higher income white family because we were so used to working hard though not smart, this was a boon for me because i decided to join the military which was a cake walk compared to working and studying at the same time.
i married straight out of uni, right before military and kid not soon after, it was an easy choice for kids because i love kids and military provides so many benefits for married couple with kids and i like to wing it because there is always a first time for everything in life, might as well face it while young and learn from it
Boy, everything you did was right in the walk of being a man. I love your story!
Thank you for sharing
Thanks for watching!
My father came to America as a masters's student at an Ivy League college and finished his Ph.D here. After getting his doctorate, he worked as a professor. Mom took some community college classes but never worked so became a homemaker. I wouldn't say they "slaved" away.
They bought some investment properties and also build up a retirement portfolio into the millions. My generation is doing really well and we are setting up our kids to do really well too. My oldest kid is currently maintaining a Summa Cum Laude gpa in honors EE.
You can see the proud daddy here haha.
Your dad was fortunate to get his PhD at an Ivy League, and I bet the tuition was less insane than it is now!
@donaldkhlee most PhD programs are supported in the U.S. There are very few PhD students paying their tuition fee out of pocket. They also get additional salary for doing research which covers rent and groceries.
ABC here also GenX, similar situation however my parents learned english then went to the U.S., back in the days my pops did well by creating a myriad of chinese restaurants, however they never owned a home. I'm glad my parents moved all over the U.S. building restaurants which showed me various cultures from the east coast to mid west to the west coast. That was left to my siblings and I to own a home, I like to think we are doing well as we work in IT in the wage slave sector (average salary of 250k USD a year). It is never too late to learn a programming language and start applying to the commercial IT sector, in all honesty if you want progress with the technical trend, look for inspiration from any of the tech giants and follow through.
Darn. Your parents really set you up and it's amazing they had such foresight as boomers.
Agreed, us in IT are better off with the salary we have, but you will retire sooner than I would probably and AI probably won't do as much damage to you as it will to me.
I am opt for starting businesses and building brands as a way out. Chinese people + Western cultures make a force to be reckoned with in entrepreneurship I would think.
I live in Canada, one of my friends' dad was vietnamese, I only understood about 1/5 of what he said. He had some high paying job at Labatts, his wife didn't work, they lived in a 3,000 sq. ft. house
We all need to be that guy haha.
Is there something wrong with audio? I can't hear anything beyond the background music.
I've been getting reports about this. Some people can hear it, some people can't. Are you on mobile?
@donaldkhlee I was on PC at the time of the comment.
Dude, I became a passport bro & tbh, you should, too, after hearing your struggles. Been switching my time between Southeast Asia and Eastern Europe. Your money basically becomes 3x to 10x depending on what you spend it on. Texas is already cheap compared to New York when I was making ad money, so ymmv, but my guess is rent is 3x cheaper in any of those places. Liked & subbed.
Appreciate the support! I need to check it out. I visited Vietnam and loved it! Maybe I just need to stop being a lil b
I felt the same way in my twenties. If you can take a 4 day break to catch up w your personal stuff & food prep then u can save money to jump ahead. Otherwise, eating out will eat up your extra income. Many working class people do this too
I need to jump on that food prep! I used to do it so much. Thanks for the reminder!
my dad immigrated to california when he was in 40s couldnt speak english. Now he is multi millionaire. I don't work atm and he funds me a 6-figure salary...Literally complete opposite of being a slave for my situation.
Living the life.
"I understand that your situation with your parents is complex, but it's also important to acknowledge the opportunities they've provided for you. Your ability to speak English and explore opportunities in Canada are significant advantages that many people don't have. Have you considered how these opportunities might shape your future and help you build a better life?"
Indeed. It's not at all complex. I'm sure they are thinking, "We don't need your help to take care of us". But it's just a traditional asian thing I grew up seeing and feel like it's expected. I'm grateful they moved to Canada to give me the opportunities I have now.
Sorry man I couldn’t listen to your voice audio only coming out of the left speaker but the music comes through both. Maybe can you edit it on Vivaldi?
Yeah, it was my mic. Will be fixed moving forward!
FYI the camera audio is only going through the left audio channel. (background music is on both audio channels)
Are you watching on mobile if you don't mind me asking?
Yes same hear.
@@donaldkhlee i’m not OP, but i’m listening with mobile and the same is happening for me too. Camera audio into the left ear and some music in both ears. It was weird, so I just took my right earbud out. Easy peasy fix for me.
I think your parents never wanted to learn in the first place, my country is bilingual and I've seen some foreign workers come here and learn all the languages but some never did accept some words to get by.
You know what. I think you're right about that haha.
I’m first gen and I guess I’m a bit lucky. My country (the Philippines) have English as its 2nd language so my entire family already learned and understood enough English when we went in legally. Plus my mom has a professional job. This experience is more on immigrants from Asian countries where English isn’t as spoken or learned and the parents not having some sort of professional career. Well despite this I did hear from my mom she still struggled in the first decade speaking in straight English same with my dad. The struggle is really the fact that my parents force me into the stereotypical successful career paths (for Filipinos people, its nursing) as in the all or nothing mentality ingrained and taught to most immigrant 1st gen kids. Asian mentality in a western environment or developing country mentality in a developed country. You can only do this so you don’t become that kind of thinking.
Agreed. Filipinos i know all had excellent english skills. It was amazing, but they are also very religious I find and integrate well with where they go.
My father with primary grade school education, left Portugal as an adult, came to Canada (Montreal) only speaking Portuguese and became a taxi driver. He taught himself to be perfectly fluent in French and English. Its a question of will and not being catered to by the govt. In Quebec, you are expected to integrate.
You're right, people are always looking for a handout. It's all about hard work and perseverance.
This is a very entertaining listen! You have a great voice and your life experiences are really similar to mine. We're actually very similar in many ways, grew up with a lot of freedom unlike the other Asian kids, dad is almost 70, I'm a year older than you are, still single and getting anxious about it... I finally just stepped into this job market a few weeks ago, hoping I find something! I also live in Texas lmao. Well, I'm not a Christian unlike you are, and I think if you put slightly more effort than you are doing now, you should be able to find a gf, you're a good looking dude. I'll check out the rest of your videos.
Thanks man, I appreciate you listening! You sound like a real cool dude.
Don't be shy and stop me if we run into each other. Brothers gotta support one another in our endeavors! ✌️🙏
I'm Korean born and raised in Russia. My family immigrated here in the US and brought me with them eventually when I was 17 y.o. I look at the world today and the numbers speak for themselves. Wherever you go in the Democratic countries, you will find people struggling and wealth inequality gap not shrinking but increasing. Some people think it's unprecedented, but in fact, even in modern history there are many examples of wealth inequality being solved but ultimately emerging again. It's not just Asians. I think even born and raised people of any skin color are struggling financially in the US today. You can't afford buying a house; grocery prices increasing dramatically, and the so-called leadership is not only okay with that but propagates such living. I love democracy, but I don't love corporate welfare and their direct disruption of our pursuit of happiness. I think many Americans are sharing my view. And those who would ask "why won't you go back to Russia?" I ask why should I? I'm an American. I'm ready to lay my life to defend my country. I hold my country to higher standards. Russia is oligarchy, but unfortunately our country is resembling Russia more and more by the day, and that's my biggest fear, oligarchy where rich elites rule us all
I love Russians. They are very heartwarming people. And agree. USA is becoming an oligarchy just hidden in plain sight.
Wish you well and hope the war stops with Trump in office. Don't need more young Russian lives to be lost.
Alot of family raising immigrant Europeans pick up French and English quite quickly. Some cultures just keep to talking. Fake it until they make it. My parents were too self-conscience to be that way. Fully understand where you come from Bro.
100% on fake it until you make it haha.
There are a lot of places in the USA where you can buy a reasonably priced home. Just not in the big cities
I just want to live where dragonite lives and deliver letters. let's be honest :)
90% of the population area average regardless of race, it's a struggle for all people nowadays, In English Canada most people are first or second generation in, even if they are white, not a lot of people who have been here for centuries.
Agreed. Vancouver i think is mostly 2nd at best. Lots of asians.
Many people are in your position. We native born Americans have it pretty good no matter our ages. I wish you well and that success will be yours in the near future. I wish I had something to add that would be helpful but I have been so privileged in life I cannot preach to others about anything. You are strong and intelligent. You will make it. Keep on telling it like it is. Love and best of luck.
Thank you so much for the kind words. I appreciate it.
Great video!!!
Thanks for watching! 🙏
Love your hairstyle brother. You remind me of Ryo Hazuki from Shenmue video game series. Keep up the vids brother! Good stuff. God bless your family
Thank you brother. Cut myself to save money hahaha. God bless you sir and humbled to have your support!
very hard for adult immigrants with kids to learn English.
💯 even without kids. When you gotta survive, time is hard to find.
Not really,it takes less than 1 hour a day
I can totally understand their struggles. I also get why ppl think all you need are efforts and try to become more sociable to learn a new language.
Unfortunately, not everyone are alike. So there's really no need to make an assumption that everyone can achieve the same level. Just be understandable and give them a hand.
That's something I wish to see when my parents asked me why can't I get a better grade like them ... Be considerable and try to understand their struggles.
We can just leave the judgement at the door and come with more understanding for sure.
Watching from Toronto Canada. I identify greatly with everything your talking about. It's impossible to own a house in Canada and if you do, you will be a slave paying for mortgage and everything else. I don't know what you should do about your aging parents. Maybe all you can do is send money and fly there every three months for weekend visits. I wish you all the best. Liked and subscribed
Thanks for the support! Toronto is one of the other places where it's probably worse than in Vancouver. I hear stabbings and day light robbery. You exactly described my situation that some are struggling to comprehend. Software engineers can also be wage slaves.
No, you can still invest. Professionals say all you need is $5K to invest in something like a Fidelity or Vanguard annuity, etc. There are other types of long-term investments as well. You basically, need $5K to start and let that grow.
Haha. Is that so? I invest $200 every week into Bitcoin itself. I just prefer to have as much as possible
Regarding God’s commandment to multiply, if you read 1 Corinthians 7 verses 8-9:
“to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
God bless brother! Going through a freedom fight from porn and sexual sin with my brothers this month. Thanks for the encouragement! Amen!
It sure takes evil people to worship the evil man-made God of Adam/Eve/Abraham/Moses/Jesus that never even existed in history...
@@donaldkhleeSelf-racist Chinese with Western colonial mentality/religion/superstition are the lowest of the low...
My parents immigrated to nyc to give the children better opportunities. They did try to learn basic English by taking some classes but because their day to day environment is chinese speaking, they only have a basic English levels. They worked very hard & their children (me & siblings) are college graduates. We definitely have it better than the parents. However it is getting more challenging for even college graduates to secure good jobs with good incomes for all Americans, not just specific to immigrant children. It all depends on the field you choose to work in and your own drive and luck. As s first born, I am intrinsically motivated & make strategic decisions regarding my career. Some of this is luck too. But I make 3-4x more than my siblings. I have an advanced degree in a field that pays well, though unstable while they do not.
Sound like we lived similar lives. Indeeed, I also strategized to get into the highest pay fields - software engineering. Now, I'm trying to make a side hustle on youtube haha.
@ typical immigrant stories.
Your contents are good but vocal audio sucks it comes only from left channel. Fix your mic or camera.
It's youtube a problem with recognizing the device output. ruclips.net/user/postUgkxvC7Bzo9qCro7HIo-ZsYa855lCEgH5NJP?si=yaLs3DlbXgYOtft9
The fact that you are aware of your situation, and the economic reality, you are 1/2 way home. The other 1/2 has to do how dedicated you are, and how important your future is for you. Secondly, many of the current gens are extremely selfish, and self centered, don't be like others. Self sacrifice for long term gain pays off. Don't be rudderless. Good Luck.
Exactly. Love others is what Jesus left us with. We seemed to have walked away from that.
I’m a 1st generation Mexican born from immigrants in the US and u described my family’s situation perfectly. I liken the treatment of immigrants to farm animals. Shipped over the border to be put to work. Then put on display as scapegoats when the problems with our economic system inevitably show up. Completely consumed. Sad.
God bless you and your parents. The Mexicans around me are the nicest and most hardworking people.
They do tend to put themselves lower or feel bad for their English skills which I dislike. I try to encourage them that we're all equal under God
It’s best to go back to Mexico, you’ll feel better about yourself and finally be treated well there.
Bro on your mic make sure it’s like on mono or something I only hear you out of my leaf speaker
Amen! New mic. Thanks for the suggestion!
This is correct. Not "literally", "fairly" or any other adjective. It is correct. It puts a burden on their children, but few truly realise how their children get tired of writing out forms or pretending to be theor parents on phone calls to gas bill companies.
Not even the parents. We just get taken advantage and don't get to live our own lives
I don't know how well it works for other languages but Google translate is amazing for Spanish. We're kind of at the point in our technology that a person could learn a major language besides English and people might not need to learn English.
Google translate is amazing for chinese as well.
Hey Jeremy here. I come to Vancouver at the age of 25 from Hong Kong. Moving to Canada as an immigrant can be easy mode if I just living in Richmond. But the route I took is an extreme but fruitful route, which is going to a local church and eventually became a Christian under a Christian culture and Christian spirituality. There’s too much culture difference makes me look stupid and awkward in that environment so I feel related to the 1st Gen honestly.
I think the language barrier (or the culture barrier) is extremely hard to go through. But when I pass through, I experience the Exodus kinda feeling. And that is the first time I experienced Christ. He is taking the “slavery” from me and I feel more free than ever.
God bless you.
You found one thing that most HKers don't find. The Christ. He is also my savior and Im glad that although you struggled, you eventually found salvation in our Lord Jesus.
Amen and God bless brother !
@@donaldkhlee GIGACHAD comment and response has nailed it again.... LOL :D
Thanks for sharing ur experience with us bro... i wish u all the best in ur life
May God the Almighty guide you for the rest of ur life,AMEN.
Good video.
Appreciate the support!
My dad had me when he was 21... 35 is not "young", lol. My dad is about to enter his 50s.
You got a young dad!
If you want to be free you must free yourself. Give yourself the rights to do whatever you want if it is legal.
100%. I love the last part. "If it is legal" lmao.
I'm sure having your own family and kids would bring much proud and hapiness to your parents Definitely not à selfish project you have.
It was a journey! Definitely! Propogation of legacy haha :)
great video.Are you chinese. which state are you from
Yes. I am in Texas.
I was just curious, if you’re parents struggled there whole lives, your grandmother struggled, you’re struggling, then why have a child and put the child through the same inevitable struggle in an evil and corrupt world where almost everyone has to struggle and suffer?
Although I’m not Religious, I’ve read the Bible, and it says “to be fruitful and multiply” before God curses the world. Once we know it’s a cursed and wicked world, why would anyone want to multiply and keep the curse going?
I think you have a point that many agree with who don't want to have kids. I thought that once too in my life.
I like to have hope and believe God will change things. I come from a family of atheist and I was atheist. Life looked brighter and though I suffer I have hope. Kind of like Job. Bringing a child in with that mindset, I don't think will be too bad.
I can respect that bro.
If you do plan on having kids, just make sure you’re financially doing well, so they don’t have to suffer too much and will have a good safety net.
I appreciate you, son.
Thank you!
I was not even first generation I was trapped by my mom’s delusions of USA. I am 50 now I don’t have a way out working at a stupid job!
Sometimes, parents curse us this way
It seems that the US system traps people through the way healthcare and insurance costs are priced and supplied. People living in countries such as NZ and Australia are able access reasonable healthcare provided by the govt, or insurance if wanting more options or even savings enables one to travel to those asian countries that provide good healthcare at a certain price. Health is the biggest unknown factor when retiring.
House prices are always the biggest cost in the majority of safe countries. Once you are on the property ladder and can pay the house off, you can then save for retirement. Although some people depend on govt. payments after they stop working, it is better to plan on relying on yourself and treat any payment you may get (as s/s payments are no longer a certainty the way govt is spending) as a bonus.
Regarding caring for elderly parents, westerners tend to use their homes to. fund aged care. For example selling or renting out the home and moving into aged care. Another option that some take these days, provided they are still mobile and reasonably healthy, is to move into an apartment and have relatives help with shopping or difficult tasks. I know of people paying relatives to help where they are living elsewhere because of their better paying jobs.
The problem is ego for some. My parents at least. Because they own a lot of land, they refuse to downsize even though the kids are grown.
But yes, American healthcare cost is crap. You can't get sick here or it's a one ticket ride to bankruptcy.
@@donaldkhlee Maybe this is happening ,like in your parents case cuz they were almost their whole life very poor,
specially back in their HK days and they don't want their ''prize'' , ''trophy'' ''nest'' aka their houses etc, their real estate ,being taken away not even by a small faction
cuz they have been deprived of that in the past ,their real estate fortune is their crown they have worked so hard, you can't even dare ask them to take it off ,NO NO lol...... so i kinda understand ur parents mentality.
let's not forget that in Chinese and East Asian cultures that :
owning and holding land has historically been a major form of power and influence in many cultures, including China and Japan. Landownership was often tied to wealth, social status, and political power. In feudal Japan, for instance, samurais (warriors) often served landowning lords (daimyo) who had significant power and influence.
even the Japanese Kanji for the ''bushi'' warrior again of chinese origin ,like so many in Japanese
wu3 shi4 (mandarin)
mou5 si6 (cantonese)
The Japanese character for "bushi" (武士), which means "warrior" or "samurai," indeed includes the component for "land."
武 (bu): "military" or "martial."
士 (shi): This character represents a scholar or a gentleman, but it is often associated with warriors in the context of "bushi."
The character 士 is also connected to the word 土 (do/tsuchi), which means "land" or "earth." While the character 士 itself doesn't directly mean "land," it is often used in combination with 武 to convey the idea of a warrior who has a connection to the land, reflecting the historical context where samurais were both warriors and landowners.
Chinese version (the original before Japan copied lol )
The character 士 (shì) does have historical and cultural associations with the land, especially given that in ancient times, noble classes and warriors often owned land. While the character itself doesn't explicitly depict land, its meaning evolved in a context where land ownership was synonymous with power and status.
In ancient China, a "士" was a member of the gentry or scholar class, who were often landowners. Their role often intertwined with the ownership and management of land. So, while the character 士 doesn’t directly represent “land” like the character 土 (tǔ), it is definitely tied to the social and economic structures where land played a central role.
So, in essence, the character reflects a class that held influence and power, often through land ownership
So, the character "bushi" (武士) subtly carries the connotation of a warrior with ties to the land, embodying both martial prowess and aristocratic status
So ur parents maybe even subconsciously are doing this, upward social mobility
try to understand them bro,give them a chance LOL
Good video bro sometimes I think I would have been better off if my parents had sent me to a Western country alone because I felt like I had to carry their burden
Not sure if you would survive alone if you had to learn a new language? I think a big reason whole families move together is for survival.
Money? More specifically a CAPITALIST SYSTEM, rather than a Democratic-Socialist system, which focuses on the middle class needs, as well as corporate needs.
Our capitalist system focuses primarily on corporate interests, but JUST ENOUGH of the people’s interests to avoid a civil war.
I think there is a deep state that is doing that.
I am a first generation immigrant too as I was not born here. I do not feel trapped and am grateful to be American.
You're ahead of me! I'm not an american yet haha.
@ haha. Meaning you have to apply for naturalization or you don’t feel assimilated into American culture?
If you don't project your hopes of yourself to your kids, they will not be a slave and you will not hold them back.
That is the goal!
Many American cars are used for going to work. And must maintain payments, repairs, and fuel on the cars.
I think most people don't even know about maintenance lol.
This is a complex subject for sure. I appreciate you talking about it. What I despise the most as 1st generation immigrant is how "colonized" we become. Material comfort is very important BUT it should not come at the cost of losing our identity and dignity.
Exactly 💯
Bro,thanks very much for this informative video (唔該) (mh goi)
I can understand very much ur feelings and frustrations etc
It is very interesting to listen to this,i also learn some things
and you are very right in everything u described
Btw i have heard the poorest district in Hong Kong SAR is Kwun Tong and not
Sham Shui Po ,i mean it is number two or something
Also as far i know Sham Shui Po is very near to the notorious
''Kowloon Walled City'' ,the dystopian place (no longer exists)
we have seen also in the 1993 Jackie Chan ''Crime Story''
So if i am allowed to ask your parents or maybe grandparents
are originally from some rural area of Guangdong province (from the Mainland)
who went to colonial Hong Kong for a better life /escape persecution etc etc
or as far as you know ur whole family history is from/in Hong Kong?
Cuz i know these areas have many working class immigrants ,many from mainland
and non-Chinese etc
It was very interesting to learn about everything said on ur video
Props to all the RUclips Walking channels as well,all these years that
have taught me many things about Hong Kong and Macau and Mainland China
and the ones that brought me to you (indirectly) via the algorithm lol
You guessed right. My family originally was from the Guangdong/Canton province before WW2 displaced them to HK. I have just been told that the poorest was Sham Shui po through my parents. Never actually been to Hong Kong, so you may know more than me!
Heavily relate to this video as a South Korean 1st gen kid
Often the same background.
We are literally in the same shoes. Word for word.
Hahaha. Are we?
Hard to make a lot money
Lot immigrants willing to come to Canada and willing to work for cheap. They bring wages lower and lower
Anything from tech to Tim Hortons
Really? I've been out of Canada for a long time.
I suggest blaming the company too for using immigrants as cheap labor
Good insights. First-generation seems to have its own unique pathology.
But as someone who immigrated WITH their parents during my formative years… I would say the peculiarity there is maybe my category doesn’t feel _quite_ as much of that “slavery” pathology.
My parents couldn’t really ‘weaponize’ The cross-border differences too much against us, because…. I owned firsthand experiences to both lifestyles/conditions. They couldn’t BS me.
I kind of had your aunt’s situation .
That's very fortunate. Yeah if my aunt had the money to go to college, she would have made a killing. But alas, money and priorities didn't allow that to happen.
Next vid, check your audio and make sure your voice track is on both on the left and right channels. This vid you can only hear the left channel. Depending on some devices your voice won't be audible because they prioritize one channel over the other.
Thank you for the advice!
Thank god my dad came from HK at age 17 and was elgible for highschool to learn english, then he went to China to marry my mom (age 26) after college at age 28. So my mom didn't learn much english,
My parents were like your mom. Yep, it's easier when you're a teenager to learn languages.
17:35. How funny that chart just skipped Trump.
;)
@@donaldkhleeGod doesn’t like deception :)
At least explain how and where.
Guess they didn't wanna reveal he lost his net worth, which would perhaps put him in a positive light. Who knows. But it's weird how Trump isn't even on there.
Thing aren't that bad in Canada. This past weekend, my mom who is 70 had to be admitted to the ER as her appendix had burst and had emergency surgery right away in Vancouver. We never had to fill out crazy amount of forms and didn't have to pay a cent as we have universal health care. The surgeon saved her life and all the nurses were so kind and she also had a private room. Sure we pay high taxes, but I would rather have that then to be in debt for a huge medical bill at the end.
My dad was diagnosed with leukemia and made a full recovery with a stem cell transplant (with 4 matches found right away) and had the best specialists, nurses and care. We didn't pay a cent, and had this been done in the USA, it would have cost over $2 million USD. My parents are also immigrants from Hong Kong and China and I'm a millennial. Both parents also didn't have extended health care benefits as they retired and didn't buy any additional.
I feel quite blessed to have grown up in Vancouver and we didn't have it easy either. We owned restaurants that failed, worked in factories, worked in other people's restaurants etc.. and we are blessed to be where we are. I think everyone's circumstances are different and it's all about mindset. My brother, who didn't graduate high school, now owns a wholesale distribution business with 14 people on his payroll in Vancouver and I work in government.
Tell us which year this happened to your mom and dad.
My wife was pregnant in January 2020 and we had to run from Surrey to Burnaby because there were no Ultrasound slots available within the next 4 weeks. Turns out she had a molar pregnancy and us waiting for a slot in the same city would have been deadly.
It may have been good pre-2015 but things have gone downhill after.
@@esparda07 Sure. My mom had her treatment this past weekend and she will be discharged tomorrow. So January 3rd to January 6th, 2025.
My dad was diagnosed on December 8th, 2021 and was receiving chemotherapy and finally completed his stem cell transplant on July 11th, 2022. Both my parents were treated in Vancouver, one at Vancouver General Hospital and the other at Mount Saint Joseph.
We have friends who are nurses or have experienced treatment in hospitals as patients in Surrey and told us to stay far away. They told us to drive to other hospitals even if it takes longer. I've had good experiences in Vancouver, Burnaby and Richmond so far. Been to the emergency more than I can count as my parents are in their mid 70's and have a host of health issues. Mount Saint Joseph is a small hospital and is great if you need to ever go to the ER as the waiting times are not as long and the staff are amazing. However, their ER hours are from 8am to 8pm daily.
I'm sorry to hear about your wife's pregnancy back in 2020. Sounds terrible they had you run from Surrey to Burnaby. Hopefully things are a lot better now for you and your wife.
I actually agree with you. My dad had a big fall and he was able to get it checked out and get a CT scan right away.
I think that is a vancouver privilege though. I don't think the healthcare is as good in other provinces. I've heard of long waits that literally led to death in places like Ottawa or Montreal. Might be because population is higher, but y'all might know better than me. I haven't lived in Vancouver for 8 years now!
@@donaldkhlee I'm glad your dad got a CT scan right away, what a huge relief! Was it in Vancouver?
And yes, living in Vancouver is definitely a privilege. We worked really hard to live in this city and my parents didn't speak any English when they first immigrated here 45 years ago and didn't have much education. The struggle was real to say the least but I am forever grateful for everything we went through that has made us stronger today to face life's ups and downs. I work in healthcare (not direct patient care) and we are in touch with all the health authorities on a daily basis, so I have a really good understanding of what goes on here in BC.
Oh yeah, the East Coast has way more people than us and there is a huge shortage of doctors, nurses, health care assistants etc.. throughout Canada. A lot will head to the USA for better opportunities and pay.
A lot of what you said is true but at the same time still lots of opportunities. Multiple sources of income and hustle will get you ahead. Im a bit older than you but similar situation with aging parents. I take care of my parents and they live with me. Having freedom and being more focus on yourself too much is a wrong approach. I think you just have to be more creative and work harder to get everything you want in life.
Indeed. Maybe not harder, but smarter. But creativity is necessary to survive I feel
@donaldkhlee smarter is a must but never hurt to work harder as well
Homeschooling is a choice but it is highly individualistic choice that impacts negatively the larger community. Put your kids in public school and get involved in the school. It helps everyone.
Public school in the USA is scary. Unless I have no choice, but preferably home or private school I think.
I'm not sure how bad public school in the area is, but I think children being homeschooled could miss out on a lot of social interactions and friendships
16:05 go to Latin America, Eastern Europe or Southeast Asia. Choose your adventure.
Stop tempting me. Gonna end up with a wife at any of those places.
From a physio-linguistic standpoint, language becomes harder and harder to acquire after the teenage years.
I did not know that. No wonder it seems to hard for me to learn spanish. Though mandarin came easily for some reason. Reading and talking wise (maybe bc I spoke canto as a first language)
I dont think it's just asian americans. Im immigrant from eastern Europe and it's same. Also, my friends parents are back in his home country and he can't go back anytiem soon due to political asylmun status he is going through eight now. He is in much worse situation as there is a cahnce he will never see his parents again.
That's terrible! His parents can visit him can't they?
@donaldkhlee no money to do that....too expensive