tik tok made "i'm not like other girls" trendy again... great
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- Опубликовано: 3 июл 2024
- The first 1000 people to click the link will get a free trial of Skillshare Premium Membership: skl.sh/caseyaonso02211 ! Thanks again to Skillshare for sponsoring today’s video!
tik tok made "i'm not like other girls" trendy again... great
Hey everyone welcome back to my channel! Today we’re going to be looking at a topic that some of you guys have been requesting for ages- I took so long to finally make a video mainly because I felt like there were some great videos already up on RUclips talking about the subject so it kind of felt redundant if i made one, but in light of a new Tik Tok trend, I thought this was an opportunity to make a video on the original “i’m not like other girls” phenomenon and it’s new-ish form you might have seen online as of late. Before I blither on a bit more, these are the videos I referenced earlier:
tiffanyferg's I'm Not Like Other Girls" : • "I'm Not Like Other Gi...
Jordan Theresa's "i'm not like the other girls" : • "i'm not like the othe...
Tara Mooknee's "the rise of the "pick me girl" meme" : • the rise of the pick m...
Why I mention Tik Tok specifically as the platform that inspired me to make this video is because it’s due to a trend on the app called “introduce yourself as why girls hate you” or “introduce yourself as the reason girls hate you.” The idea is pretty simple, it’s just people using the trend as an opportunity to introduce themselves as the reason they believe to be why girls hate them and boy… is this trend ever filled with “i’m not like other girls”/pick me girls. I thought it was especially interesting considering there’s been a pretty big shift in how people look at girls who claim to be different from everyone else online, being that they’ve turned into the butt of the joke, so the fact that this trend not only popped up but also has caught a ton of traction just seemed really surprising to me. What also felt worth noticing was it seems like the “i’m not like other girls” mentality has shifted from a more victim-esc, “poor me” tone to more of an “i’m a villain and proud” vibe? lol
SO i thought why not reflect on the idea of what “i’m not like other girls” is based on, how it’s branched off into different variations, and try to figure out how even though claiming you’re “different than everyone else” is now clown-able material, it’s still popular online.
Timestamps:
intro + video recs 0:00 - 1:17
thanks skillshare! 1:17 - 3:12
what is “i’m not like other girls?” 3:12 - 4:12
inlog MEME clap REVIEW clap 4:12- 6:22
how did the original INLOG trend fall off? 6:22 - 8:02
why dont we want to be like other girls? 8:02 - 10:36
in my inlog era 10:36 - 12:49
the second generation of INLOGs 12:49 - 15:44
how do we defeat the INLOGs? 15:44 - 18:52
bloopers + end credits 18:52 - 19:37
I mentioned this briefly in the video towards the end but I’d love to hear about you’re “i’m not like other girls” phase if you’re willing to share... i’m nosey what can i say lol. hope you guys enjoyed the video though, if you did feel free to toss it a like and subscribe. if you want to stay updated on uploads you can also turn post notifications on and set them to “all” that way you never miss a video! that’s about it for me, i’ll see yall in the comments and thanks again for watching! :)
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// E D I T I N G
Final Cut Pro X
Anyone that says “I’m only friends with guys ‘cause girls are too much drama” is an IMMEDIATE RED FLAG
@Me We Yep, it's basically means that you generalized girls to fact that you believe that they only live for drama.
@Idk_Reveluv yeah it really depends on the people around you. I'd much rather hang out with the girls from my old high school than with most of the guys from there. But I've also been to places where it was the other way around (or I didn't want to hang out with anyone because they all sucked). Being👏 likeable 👏is 👏not 👏based 👏on 👏gender
and i've noticed that girls that complain abt girls being too much drama are... usually the cause of the drama in the first place. as a 20 yo woman who's almost only had female friends, drama hasn't been an issue since i was like 13 hkfdh, the women that think other women are too much drama need to get new friends :(
I agree, I used to be that girl, mainly because i was bullied, by both girls and boys but mostly girls. And the only friends ive had for over 5 years are my two guy friends. But after finding a friend group of girls that liked me I realized how wrong it was of me to think that way.
I lived with a girl like that, she was exactly like that, didn't like make up or dressing up and was really possesive of her boyfriend. Long story short now we're really good friends and she told me myself that she started doing what she likes and paying much more attention to herself after living with me. She didn't have any female friends before me cause she was mostly the source of drama and I don't know why we clicked but I'm glad we did!
I hate the “introduce yourself as why girls hate you” trend because it absolutely stinks like take your internalised misogyny elsewhere
I bet 90% of girls have better things to do with their time than to think about the things they hate about other girls anyway 💀
@@dc9067 exactly we got essays, deadlines, jobs, babies, families, self-care & skincare routine, cooking gourmet food, cleaning our house and sprucing it up, looking after our pets, looking after family members, spending time with our SO, binge watching Netflix shit or watching RUclips videos, drawing, learning a language, working out, reading or doing fuck all😂
We aint got time to be hating on anybody, especially the 10% of girls with internalised misogyny 😭😭
@@lotussight you described my whole life there ✋👑
Like can't we just have a trend about how cute girls are like be gay?? Have cute friends???
@@yukiandkanamekuran exactly
It's quite interesting how so much media portrays female protagonists like "I'm special, I'm different, no one is like me, so of course I'm the protagonist", while male protagonists are portrayed like "I'm the most standard-ass human being, I look like everyone else, I act like everyone else, still I'm the protagonist because I'm simply the chosen one"
I like me a realistic female protagonist. I enjoy it when normal girls are just dropped into scenarios where everyone around them is special and they have to figure their shit out to not fail around them.
@@Nakia11798 Like in The Owl House?
Male protagonists are supposed to be a stand-in for the viewer. Female protagonists are supposed to be the viewer but Smarter, Prettier and all around better than the viewer. :(
luz noceda and (somewhat, since the whole power thing) anne boonchuy my beloved…they are the most protagonists ever
This is so interesting, I never noticed
Legally blonde saved me from my I’m not like other girls phase. Media really makes an impact, especially in our formative years.
@Seven Inches of Throbbing Pink Jesus ?
@@halatiny6537 bros on drugs
@Seven Inches of Throbbing Pink Jesus
M8 are you having a stroke.
i lovee legally blonde! It breaks sterotpes :)
There are good ways that the movie 'Legally Blonde' turned the cliche upside-down w/ the element of surprise that made the otherwise ditzy-appearing female blow ppl away w/ how smart she was and how it made others feel dumb later for underestimating her. BUT - the one thing I would have liked to have seen in this vid is how Casey could've also made the point that while it's true that we shouldn't blindly assume that other girls are just boring cliche-ridden normies, fulfilling their stereotypes, we also need to discern better and judge ea girl on a case-by-case basis, based on their own merits and circumstances, and also apply this truth - that some girls label themselves by their behavior fitting to that stereotype.
SO, in that case, I'm not the one calling that girl out for being a stereotype just so I can use her as a measuring stick to show how she's appearing boring compared to me and how diff I am, but I'm calling her out for the fact that SHE MADE HERSELF into this stereotype so in that way, I'm just calling it as I see it. I call a spade a spade and don't BS around about it or sugarcoat it. So that is a whole diff story in those cases.
Now, if we call someone out for being a boring cliched stereotype persona based on limited info or b/c we need to use her to compete against to make ourselves look better in comparison to her, then no, that is wrong. But if she put herself there, then that is her fault, so yes, we can justifiably call her the stereotype she's projecting (the 'airhead', the hyper-feminine girl, the femme fatale that tries to steal your man, the gold-digger, etc). Let's ensure whether it's her or it's us who is creating the label of said stereotype. Sometimes others limit us, and sometimes we limit and shortchange ourselves, so who is doing the shortchanging? Look more clearly at this.
I usu refer to this behavior style as being a hipster - when you try too hard to fit in b/c of your deep insecurity. But two wrongs don't make a right b/c fighting one stereotype to uplift or validate another one doesn't solve anything as it's the same sweater, just reversed w/ a diff color of the same fabric.
First, let's be clear on establishing what 'hipster' means:
A hyper-hip person who is so 'extra' and radical in their coolness/hipness that they are seen as 'tragically hip' - aka, someone who tries way too hard and in this case, you're actually a nerd but a diff kind of nerd b/c you're not casually confident in a way that is genuine to your true self. There's too much self-awareness and this kind of hyper-emphasis is where you're overthinking to the point that it disrupts & even ruins your experiences b/c you are too self-editing w/ every move you make as you usu copy/mimic all your friends to ensure their acceptance of you.
Also, this deep insecurity is a form of narcissism that describes ppl who can't stay present b/c they are too busy trying to get attention vs trying to just enjoy the moment and listen to & observe the other ppl around you and get to know them b/c you're too busy wanting them to get to know you. Ppl who always take selfies or take pics of concerts w/out rocking out and enjoying the music (as one example), etc fit this description. They want the destination w/out taking the journey. (This also defines what cultural Marxism is).
And there are two ways of being a hipster:
1 - The hipster who is trying too hard to be a monotonous clone to fit in: By going along 'to get along' b/c you don't have the spine to be yourself and you are a perpetual PC/ ppl-pleasing butt-kisser pandering to whatever political correctness to avoid hurting ppl's feelings....This person takes this behavior too far, & therefore, runs risk of sacrificing the truth at the same time - which is what PC is - very much the opp of being tactfully diplomatic with harsh truth left intact but w/ a gentle approach.
And 2 - the hipster who is trying too hard to be 'different' (the 'pick me' or “I'm-not-like-other-girls” scenario fits this) just for THE SAKE OF BEING DIFF....in that case, if there's no authenticity and no purpose, then you are making the same mistake of being overly-focused on being too diff that you can't enjoy your present-tense moments.
This is called a false dichotomy b/c you are swinging back and forth furiously from one extreme position to the other just like our politics in USA - the far L and the far R parties that cancel ea another out b/c there is no balance, no center.
On other hand, a 'hip' person possesses a natural sense of the grey zone & self-awareness and is empathic and present-minded. They are willing to SHARE their life. But the hipSTER is a selfish lazy person who makes no effort and just wants IN for the sake of it w/out a real purpose or reality-based genuineness. They have no desire to put in the effort to earn being liked or accepted organically so they carry this kind of bitterness or chip on their shoulder/ entitlement b/c they don't feel appreciated - hence the whole desperate sense of 'pick me' or 'I'm more valid than you' energy/vibe. It's competitive in a toxic way.
The best way to escape either type of hipsterism is to allow ourselves to be humbled instead of humiliated. Desperation comes from the fear of being left behind or ignored so we humiliate ourselves to be a sell-out or a hide-out, and this false dichotomy is not balancing (humbling) us.
I really hate the "their boyfriends like me" ones. That's just so gross.
AHH throwback to a girl in my sorority (who came off as very aggressive and belittling) claimed she was all of our sisters' boyfriend's best friend. Confusing, sorry. Creepy though.
I watched a RUclipsr who said she used to be one of those girls and she said it was never about the guys, it was about competing with the girls, came from a very deep place of insecurity I think is what she said
@@Eva-gs5uk Yikes, that's so weird I do not understand people
@@fashionvibe101 That makes sense but it's still a very gross thing to do. Especially if they actually try to get the boyfriend to sleep with them that's repulsive and very toxic and even tho it's insecurity or mental illness I won't let that be excused. Glad she changed for the better tho I hope they all do I hate girls like that. Especially the ones who are your best friend but then they go behind your back and try to get your boyfriend.
@@BubbleBunnyy you said it sis, I would never condone the behaviour, I just found it interesting, like it actually makes a lot of sense that it’s really about the girls the friends and not about the guy, but yes super shitty nonetheless lol
I used to think that everyone was stupid except for me. I have now learned that everyone is stupid, including me
LMAOSJDFGHDSK
ayyyy
Same sis, same
growth
Atleast your smart enough to know your dumb😔
i also hate that it’s a stereotype now, so if a girl hangs out/is friends with mostly guys, everybody automatically assumes they’re a pick me.
exactly, when i was in elementary i hung out with a bunch of guys cause they were the only ones that played sports during recess and everybody said i was a pick me but that’s not even what a pick me is
Every time i make a girl friend they end up ghosting me and i dont think i was mean to them or anything im just autistic
Fr I was told by a guy in my class that “ I don’t think of you as a girl I think if you as a guy” and he kept on saying that for such a long time but then he said bc I not “annoying” like the girls in my class 💀💀 but I’m friends with those girl 😭😭
@@tylerontopfrfr Oh hell naw. That guy is a 🚩
Same!! It's fine to not wear makeup,high heels,k-pop but what's not okay is to feel superior than other women just because you don't like them
My “not like other girls” phase emerged because middle school me was trying to separate herself as much as possible from the girls that bullied her. Like hon, you’re ALREADY different from them because you’re not an asshole.
GIRL MAJOR RELATE I grew into a geek because I didn't want to be like the bully girl who was always talking about brands and fashion and makeup and putting me down for reading (she lowkey seemed spoilt and judgy but I realized that me judging people for having interests the same as hers was doing the same thing as her)
Sameee
Dude for real! I actually did get bullied in elementary and middle school for being friends with other girl’s crushes so that stereotype always felt relatable to me. By the time I got to high school I made friends with girls who weren’t assholes and then they phase went away
My "not like other girls" phase happened because of my mother and her friends, who always insisted that doing the opposite of what everyone else was doing was the better way. As much as I was curious about doing typical teen girl things, it was frowned upon. So I was a shut in during my teen years writing scifi and drawing comics instead of going to the mall, getting my nails done, or even having an interest in boys. Better than rebelling, I guess.
this same thing happened to me
i’m NOT like other girls, i put other women down for the sake of male approval/validation and shame them for liking stereotypical girly things even though there is nothing wrong with that 😏
Yup. Hate to break it to these NLOG’s but hating other women isn’t a personality trait
Mhm…give it to em straight!
you missed the whole point of the video. The issue is that we SHOULD NOT blame the women that fall into the INLOG trap because society has literally pushed them to individualize themselves by generalizing others, and now look at you, generalizing all the "im not like other girls" girls, and making fun of them.
Someone called me basic cause I liked makeup, dresses, pink. And cause I know how to cook, clean, and take care of kids. Like what? 😭😭
I'm not like other girls, I am a literal bag of beans
shoutout to all my other girls out there who violently hated pink as a child because they didn't want to be seen as 'girly' then growing up to realize that pink is great and colors don't matter as long as they make u happy 💗💕
I remeber when I was younger (about like 8-9) it was seen as an insult to be called "girly".
it’s so weird and sad how common this is, glad i got out of that phase before tiktok was even a concept lmao
That's exactly what happened to me. Throughout my childhood and teenage years I hated pink because I was a "tomboy" and thought pink was too "girly". Fast forward to me now about to paint part of my room pink because I'm finally getting to enjoy this amazing color I forced myself to dislike for years.
I realized that pink(pastel) is one of my comfort colors(or things) I don’t know why I thought it was the devil’s color
yeppp that was my phase
I love how Tumblr makes fun of the trope now. Either by making the two girls lesbian lovers, or with quotable text posts like, “I’m not like other girls, I’m worse” or “I’m not like other girls, I’m a boy.”
"I'm not like other girls, I'm a wooly mamoth meatball."
"I'm not like other girls, I kiss the other girls"
My best friend "I'm not like other girls I'm not a girl" and me "I'm not like other girls but by good I am going to be like them watch me"
Trixie Mattel: I’m not like other girls.. I’m d i s g u s t i n g.
I went through a “not like other girls” phase around late elementary school, turns out I was right though, I’m not like other girls because I’m actually a guy.
That's awesome dude
Congratulations on getting out of that phase
Hey congrats
lmao are you me?
Same!!
It’s so tiring that TikTok goes through every trend and idiotic idea that tumblr went trough six years ago.
Wait, that's straight facts
buddy, it's been more than six years ago at this point..
Not even just tumblr , they recycle all the cringy trends, that platform has never seen a day of originality
can’t wait for fypcon, maybe i can visit the ball pit this time !
i feel like it’s like that on a bunch of social media platforms 😭 they all go through recycled tumblr discourse from 6 years ago lmaooo
These people just don’t realize that a woman can wear heels and still eat pizza for dinner. They’re stereotyping women for some reason when there’s no need to.
I agree. I don’t understand why being feminine is such a taboo subject now. I love being girly and whenever I bring it up it’s an issue. Is it bad that I enjoy feminine activities?
Yeah why decide between blue and pink when you can wear purple instead
or you could wear pink on Wednesdays and blue on Fridays
or why tf don't you combine the ultimative pink&blue outfit humanity has been waiting for
You know what, I'm rebellious! I'm not like other girls who are not like other girls, my outfit has EVERY SINGLE colour included. Yes turquoise, so are you, even though I don't like you 😤😤😤😤😤😤😤
Yeah I know, like you can do both we are not a one phase person
@@akaylab.134 it's nothing ne, unfortunately...
It's old misogyny on new bottles, or apps if you will.
Hating girls and by natural extension, everything that girls like, is as old as christianity.
Or wear heels some days, and different shoes another day, it's almost like women are peopleand not one dimensional
I was definitely in a “not like other girls” phase for most of my life. I was a tomboy, liked guy things, hung out with guys and believed other girls who were “girly” were the enemy. Mostly because I got bullied and made fun of what I was like. I even brought it into my writing my main characters being rivals. Tomboy vs Girly Girl. But at some point, I really thought about it, why do I hate other girls so much? I have such strong woman to look up to around me who are well rounded with many different interests. Crying doesn’t make you weak. Being feminine doesn’t mean your evil. I changed the writing for my female characters. And I’m not sure exactly when or why but I eventually dropped this trope for myself as well.
I was always a natural tomboy myself, even before this "not like other girls" trope came into the media and even before my own nlog phase. But I also have a feminine side too, but I'm mainly a tomboy. The media made me feel so ashamed of my girly side that I hid it for so long bc i wanted no one finding out about it. The media didn't force me into becoming a tomboy, because I already was one. What the media did is force me to hide my feminine side bc i became so embarrassed of it. So it kind of annoys me when ppl say all tomboys are fake and they're only pretending to be one to impress boys which isn't true. Like we real tomboys exist and we don't even care about impressing boys man😃 anyways, for me I didn't hide my feminine side to impress boys but more so all of society. I wanted to prove to everyone and not just men that I'm different and not catty like every "other girl". I was so desperate to separate myself from other girls bc I thought they were all that dumb bimbo stereotype.
But thankfully i got out of that phase when i realized every girl is different and unique. And that most girls are nice & smart. Getting out of that phase also led me to not be embarrassed about being girly anymore. My nlog phase lasted for 6-7 years, yikes
@@ham-sley1308 Thank you for sharing this. I’m so happy you let your girly side show because there is nothing wrong with that at all. Exactly. I was never a tomboy to impress boys. That’s just the way I was, felt comfortable being around them and they had cooler stuff. My aunt once criticized me watching Power Rangers as it was a “boys” show and my mom told her let me watch what I like. I have always had a slight girly side, had a Barbie computer after all. Liked nail polish and perfume.& curling/straight if my hair. But for some reason I could never commit to be completely one. I feel like there are a lot of layers here. 😂 My mom is also a tomboy so that might be an influence. Middle school I was criticized for not being girly enough and couldn’t afford nicer clothes. High school I “covered up” because I didn’t want to be labeled anything. So crazy. But even as an adult I’m in a male dominated flied, general labour, working with guys and feel most comfortable in my boyfriends clothes. So some things never change 🙃. But my outlook on “other girls” has changed so much. I even have three female best friends 😂 & I will always want to be a girl no matter what even been experimenting with lipstick lol.
Same I grew up with 4 brothers and didn’t have a choice but to do boy things or I’d have no one to play with, but I always envied girls with a group of close girl friends. It was so hard for me to make girl friends, but now I have my own litto group and it makes me so happy 😭😭😭
@@thesimplelifeofjenn5349 I always had one female best friend but that’s it and they never lasted too long because of one situation or another 😂 Having brothers will definitely have that effect lol. I make the joke that now I have three female best friends who know nothing about each other haha. It’s easier that way idk my reasoning lol. So glad I stopped seeing them as the enemy. So glad you found your own group and happy 😊
I never considered feminine things as being bad per se. I always liked them. If anything it was vanity (the girl who was obsessed with hair, nails, fashion, materialistic and shallow things) that was frowned upon and laughed at as silly.
Lily Truscott from Hannah Montana, I think was the best well-written character "I'm not like other girls." She was a tomboy and act like one of the guys but wasn't aggressive. She was also boy crazy and never shamed Miley for being girly. They even bond over fashion and boys. She excels in sports that may be considered male-dominated sports and activities like skateboarding, football, and hockey. However, she also excels in "girly" sports like cheerleading and gymnastic. Lastly, she may not be the type of girl who spends hours behind the mirror. She usually wears a hat and does not care about helmet hair. However, she loves shopping for cute clothes as much as she loves going to the skate park. She wouldn't miss a chance to shop around the Hannah closet, which was filled with designer clothes. She also cared sometimes about her appearance like the episode when she didn't want to wear her glasses since it made her look like a nerd. She was a tomboy but she had feminine traits. She wasn't ashamed of being a tomboy or being like "other girls."
This is amazing and true
Well put.
Hannah Montana is WAY more progressive than people make it out to be. The characters got development and the whole conflict with Jake and Miley was an example of Hannah Montana being a good show for young girls or kids in general. When Jake cheated on Miley, she immediately broke things off. Other shows at the time would've jumped to the conclusion of "oh but _ has changed. I'll give _ another chance *proceeds to have a toxic ass relationship for the entire show*" . Meanwhile, girls who watched Hannah Montana could have learned not to tolerate bullshit. Top tier show lol.
@Randompersonontheinternet174 I'm not gonna lie. I was very pissed off when Jake cheated on Miley. I always felt it was very OCD and all the development with Jake was thrown in the garbage. Miley and Jake were very popular ship. Plus didn't Miley also cheated on Jake. There was emotionally cheating with the situation with Jessie.
I do agreed like how Miley didn't gave him second chance, unlike Spencer and Teddy. Spencer cheating was way worse than Jake cheating since Spencer wasn't just fling, he was in a relationship with Skylar and made Teddy feel like crazy when she suspected Spencer was cheating. She had great relationship with Beau but she ended up with Spencer
@@sailorsister211we have VERY different views lol. I saw Jake as an arrogant celebrity. Sure he got "development" but I saw his development as Jake saying "I like your face so much that I'll change, promise" to Miley. AND he was set up to be "the one", which was a realistic portrayal of what young girls feel when they meet their first bf. And when he cheated on her, the "perfect first love" illusion was shattered.
"i'm not like other girls, i just straight up eat dirt." - kurtis conner
As a citisen of kurtis-town this is my life motto
hey fellow citizens
@@chrome6630 hello
I’m not like other girls I can shoot lasers out of my eyes
@@kalesaladkalia5027 hey that's pretty cool 😎. I can fly like Superman.
Some girl made a Tik Tok using the “introduce yourself as why girls hate you” trend and proceeded to say “I have a consistent poop schedule” and I pray for more videos like hers to combat this very harmful movement.
Ok, but that's a flex 😂
Wish i was her 😂🤣 my lazy colon😭😭
Christ that must hurt a lot😂
As someone who has severe constipation I actually am jealous
i just say i like other women. simple☝️😃
When I was younger, I had a “not like other girls” phase. This was largely brought on by my feeling of isolation caused by my autism. In that way, I really was different from the other girls. However, now that I am older and can use the internet more, I’ve found communities of girls and women who are also on the autism spectrum. It really puts into perspective how big the world is, and just how un-special I really am in the grand scheme of things. I realized that being “different” made me no better or worse than anyone else, and that’s ok.
This is exactly my experience!! I never really had a "Not Like Other Girls" phase, it was more like "Why Am I Not Like Other People?" phase. But as an Autistic person, things finally clicked and I am at least able to appreciate and accept myself now. I'm still different from other people, but I've met so many wonderful Autistics on the internet who share the same struggles with me.
i taste banana
I am not autistic but I can relate to your experience. I grow up feeling like I'm not like other girls and I don't fully know why. Being an NLOG girl made me feel understood at that time.
are you me?
I don't think my "not like other girls" phase ever truly went away, to be honest. Even in adulthood, there's some kind of curtain between me and my peers, or even my sisters. Our interests and styles were always so different and any attempt to copy them to fit in wasn't to their liking. Of course, I'm not one to be pretentious about it, it's something I related to just in life, not simply because it's a trend.
The biggest implication of “im not like other girls” cringe is Wattpad 😭 the way they characterize women who basically just care about their diet, and appearance as villains is almost amazing. But in a bad way.
She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts she’s cheer captain and I am the dark lord Satan
This is beautiful :')
I laughed thank you
Thank you tumblr
Hahaha
I used to fucking love this song. And I’m a spoopy gay so same.
People are so obsessed with “not being like other women” because they don’t take the time to get to know other women and just assume because they like pink that’s their only personality trait
EXACTLY - I used to be like this when I was a lot younger and I’d just assume any girl that dressed like a girly girl had no personality and was dumb...but later in life I’ve been proved so wrong about that. Liking pink and glitter does not make you dumb or weak. I used to hate dressing girly cuz I was afraid of looking weak, but now I’m obsessed with pink and wear skirts all the time LMAOOOOO at least I had character development tho lol. Normalize letting women be interested in and dressing however they want without being stereotyped or having assumptions made:)
Most of the time they know other women, but they have so internalized the stereotypes of women that the end up believing that people of their sex Is like this.
Basicaly internalized misoginy through assosiation from the media and the enviroment.
I see where you’re coming from and I definitely agree to an extent, but I don’t think this is an issue that can be blamed on self-centered or unempathetic women . I was totally like this in elementary/middle school, but it wasn’t really about hating girls because they liked pink. I had been indoctrinated in this idea that being traditionally feminine was antifeminist, and as a result I was really insecure about the fact that I LIKED feminine things (pink, makeup, fashion, etc.) At the same time, I didn’t have many friends and was really lonely and self-conscious about it. The “not like other girls” mindset was a coping mechanism for feeling rejected by other girls, wanting to be one of them, and feeling guilty for wanting to be one of them. I think the issue here isn’t girls (because it’s most often pretty young girls that feel this) but the way we’ve raised them to doubt and hate themselves.
@@eleanorpimentel7917 this⬆️⬆️⬆️ I genuinely think this is more it. Its self preservation when your young, trying to figure yourself out and feeling rejected by your peers. Of course your not gonna want to be like other girls and want to display that I'm memes, tik told ect when the "other girls" you know have made you feel excluded and insecure. Until you grow up and feel more solid in yourself and realize that everyone is just as complex with their lives and stories and perception of the world as yours is to you.
They just think girly girl's priorities are phone, makeup, selfie, boys, pop music. I can tell you like 1%, maybe 2% if I'm being generous, is actually like this.
I used to do the whole “I’m not like other girls, I don’t need a boy friend 💅🏼” and now I’m aro/ace so…
Ooh, same! Realizing I didn't like guys and rather, was aro-ace (gay-oriented, but still - I only had tertiary attractions and not romantic/sexual attraction) was the first step for me as well!
Thought I was different for not liking male love interests in books… also aroace
same, I used to be MAD homophobic and "not like the other girls" until I came to terms with my aro/ace-ness. Now I just regret seeing any part of my past self involving those topics cause it honestly sucked
same but I'm also a sapphic lol
I did the same thing and it took finding a boyfriend to realize I need a boyfriend... I'm demi.
I had a NLOG phase in high school that I am quite embarrassed of. After analyzing it from an adult perspective, I've found that it stemmed from my desire to not be seen as vapid and shallow, the way women with stereotypically feminine interests are. I wanted to be seen as an individual person who was real and had real interests. And like I said, I am embarrassed by it, but I think the real villain is the way society and pop culture treat women who are stereotypically feminine. Now I'm proud to say that I AM like other girls, because other women are smart, and strong, and capable, and beautiful. I hope more media comes out that celebrates women in every form, be they more feminine, more masculine, or anything in between.
This right here! The analysis in your comment describes the issue perfectly!
My teenage daughter is definitely going through this phase. I'm trying to guide her along gently. When she starts spouting off all the ways she's "different" I'll remind her that having a different interest or taste is just being human, which is normal. Everyone is different in a way, but also the same in many ways. You just have to find yourself and realize that there are plenty of people like you, same as there are many who are different from you. That's the beauty of life. It makes you both relatable and interesting at the same time. Just do your thing, and be happy.
I'm not like other girls. I'm a guy
Aw man I was gonna say that-
I love this comment.
@@jungkookjuice3157 Lmao. Sorry for taking your joke, lol
@@tinniesealjiji Aw. Thank you so much
I’m not like other girls I’m non-binary
Character development is when you start liking the color pink
It is! (I don't like the color pink, i think it's unfair to the other shades. But i'm a lot like other girls in more aspects then I'm not, and that realisation was character development for me.)
When i was little i dislike pink because... Idk i forgot, But i have a reason. then i started to like pink (baby pink and purplish pink specifically). But now... I watch a serial animation where the killer's main color is pink and she killed almost all of my favorite characters. After that, i came back to my old-self mind. Dislike pink 😀
@@ApequH I love that, unfair to other shades
When I was younger I was the biggest tomboy ever. Hated pink, dressed, skirts, anything thats girly and now I’m 21 and love all those things yo! I did have some character development 😌
YES exactly i used to "HaTe" pink because i thought it made me different and QUirKy, but i realized that not only is pink a nice and pretty color, but that its okay to like something that is stereotypically what "other girls" do
the whole "I'm not like other girls" thing is so polarizing. we try so hard to break free from the box of traditional femininity that we end up caging ourselves in yet another box. everyone's trying to be the "girl who supports all other girls unconditionally :))))" woman, which means you're not allowed to criticize a woman or criticize a cultural trend among women because if you do, you're labelled a pick-me. in the end, women, once again, become a monolith who aren't allowed to have separate opinions on things without it having to do with male attention in the general public's eyes.
if one man says he personally doesn't vibe with the "soft boy uwu" aesthetic and another man says he personally loves playing around with makeup because it's liberating, then those are two men expressing their opinions. if one girl says she doesn't understand the appeal of cosmetic surgery and another girl says she's getting her nose surgically altered, then that's a "pick-me-who-tries-too-hard-to-get-male-attention" and a "dumb-hedonistic-airhead-who-quite-literally-can't-see-past-her-own-nose" because for some reason, we REFUSE to see women as individuals, as people who can't be put into categories and not a monolith.
also note how my (and literally everyone in the comment section's) first instinct was to call women "girls" but call men "men".
Don't listen to them. Be your own person with your own opinions. You don't have to support other women in any case at all. Make sure your opinions are your own, and aren't a direct result of outside influence.
I know this is late, but thank you SO MUCH for saying this. It’s exactly how I’ve felt for so long and you articulated it perfectly. To me what’s most empowering is viewing woman as humans; all unique individuals with unique experiences, and you are so right that we constantly get put into boxes.
I actually had this argument with someone who called Bella from Twilight "A not like other girl" but like she never once puts anyone down for their interests and just doesn't care about girly stuff.
NAH THESE DAYS MEN WHO WORE MAKEUP WOULD BE CALLED GAY 😭 like shut upppp let him do what he wantss
this is my struggle. i was huge in the "supporting all women" thing, still am, but after living with +30 women for 2 years i realize that we're all such different fully fleshed out complex HUMAN beings. i definitely wasn't like some of them, and some of them weren't like me. i do not like all of them and won't support them all either, i looked down upon some things they did, they did the same for me, at the end we were still sisters in a way and i'd never leave them alone in a room full of men, but that's it. women are all insanely different, it's impossible to put us in boxes or shove us into always-supporting sisterhoods, and that's fine!!!
I think this is why I love monster high so much. All the girls have their own different and similar interests (a lot being stereotypical girly stuff like fashion and shopping), despite all this they all love and support each other :) Each character is portrayed as strong and worthy
I’m not like other girls, i am, in fact, a whole ass guy
Edit: yeah so um fun fact two years later, I literally just said this for the joke I am in-fact a whole ass girl
Sometimes I wish I was male just so I could say that
@@avocadoemmy4961 I wish I was an octopus so I could use that
This suggests the existence of half ass guys and I love it
@@ApequH i'd like to be an octopus too. They have great eyesight
lol imagine 😩🤚
This is why Elle Woods is the perfect character. She's a stereotypical girl, but uses it to her advantage and is really smart. She doesn't put down other girls, even when dealing with Vivian, who is inlog personified. And Legally Blonde even has Vivian come around in the end. All around a great movie.
bro i love Legally Blonde so much, it's such a great story about a girly girl who is girly and pink and fashionable while also being smart and actually good in law stuff but also supports other women and girls /and her whole sorority helped her get her exams even tho they didnt understand shit/. Also in the musical both Warner and Vivian see the professon trying to hook up with Elle but Vivian immediatelly takes her side and later encourages Elle to not leave Harvard and to go to court and smash everyone, like they have the whole supportive element and idk if it was in the movie or the musical but there was this line, where Vivian was trying to be better than Elle in the beggining and Elle went "I dont understand, why would you do that to another girl, we have to stick together" and overall this movie imo is incredibly feministic and empowering and shows that you can be girly and feminine and also slay
it was soo ahead of its time
I love this movie so much!! It’s literally something I apply to my life daily!
@@yonicorn1641 that last line is probably from the musical. I would love to see it someday! I also secretly wish is could the role of Elle Woods in the play! 🤣🤣🤣
Yes, I'm so glad you guys mentioned the musical! I've seen it like 5 times (though in different forms like school plays or the recorded version) and it's probably my favorite musical. It just takes all of the good messages from the movie and dials them up a notch.
I’m late to the party, but Kat in 10 Things I Hate About You was not one of those “I’m not like other girls” girls. She was a normal girl who was just like other girls, who experienced trauma and developed certain habits and personality traits as a response. She derided girls and boys alike, rather than differentiating herself to gain male attention. She didn’t start out that way and she didn’t end that way.
She hated everyone ! Many of the other kids were mean , shallow and nasty. She became lame when she got a boyfriend
Best scene was when she crashed that car from the douche dude
I thought about leaving this comment and I’m glad I looked to see if someone else did first because you put it far better than I did. People often forget that an essential “ingredient” of being a pickme/NLOG type is the desire for external validation, but Kat didn’t want to deal with anyone. She just developed trust issues and outward aggression due to trauma and her father smothering her.
Also 10 Things I Hate About You is the worst example for a “pickme movie” because yeah, it’s a romcom but honestly at the end of the day it’s more about Kat and Bianca’s sisterly relationship than it is about any of the men in their lives.
Went through my "not like other girls" phase in middle school. The popular girls spread rumors about me being a lesbian because I wore t-shirts and jeans that were comfortable to me. After I got through college, I stopped caring what people thought of me and just live my best life. I then found out as I got older that there are women that don't judge me and are cool to hang out with. I just didn't go to school with most of them. That being said, we mature as we get older.
Did you turn out to be a lesbian? And t shirts and jeans are normals, what did those popular girls wear?
If you think that every other girl you've met is too much drama. Honey, I'm sorry to say this but You're the common denominator in all those situations.
For reeeeeaaallll, you gotta realize the pattern😂
they claim to read books bcuz they are so quirky but did they even know what history is
@@AridetothemuseumFtknj how did you miss the point of this video so bad, we’re not shaming girls for liking their interests. If a girl says she likes to read, she likes to read because she enjoys it, not because she’s seeking anyone’s approval
@@AridetothemuseumFtknj girl did you even watch the video? It's literally about not shaming women for the activities or things they like to do...surprise: women don't do everything in live just to impress other people.
@@adminservice3639 Yep, like I have male friends and female friends, not because "I'm quirky", but because they are nice friends. I like reading, because it makes me happy, not for other people's opinions. I like specific bands, not because other people like them, but because I like them.
I will never understand ppl who are like “I’m only friends with boys bc girls are too much drama 🙄🤸♂️🚆” as if I’m friends with other women BECAUSE they are women?? No sir I’m friends with them cause they’re cool ass people who make me laugh.
Not to mention that boys are drama too. Emotional unbalance is ubiquitous among the gender spectrum.
@@sonyxa1957 exactly! Being dramatic or emotional is not exclusive to one gender
Straight up. If you can’t be friends with a specific gender, that’s a you issue, not a them issue.
It always just comes off as incredibly sexist to me when I hear people say that... Like that is internalized misogyny right there.
Omg I'm friends w all guys and I'm trying so hard to escape its actual hell n girls are so nice
yep tiktok is the most hypocritical EVER! they make fun of 'pick me girls' for acting this way and STILL does the same thing
what annoys me the most is that these tiktokers always wanna poke fun at "pick me girls" but they're literally all pick me girls
This is exactly it. It’s the bullying part that’s the issue-and it happens on both sides of the argument. I don’t understand why people think girls need to like specific things and dislike other things. It’s so dumb. People should be free to enjoy what they want without judgement.
For example, I got called a “pick me girl” online once for saying I don’t like Taylor Swift. But I never shamed anyone who does like her music because that’s perfectly fine. Lots of people like her and they are free to do so. But because I don’t even like pop music and mostly listen to funk and jazz, I’m now somehow a “pick me girl”? Like…it’s just my musical preferences. It’s not that deep.
Now, had I gone after people that like Taylor Swift and told them their opinions on music were horrible, that would be a different story. That’s the part that’s not okay. And it’s not okay because it’s basically raining on someone else’s parade, you know?
And that’s my essay on why I think both the “I’m not like other girls” and the “pick me” girls trends are dumb. You do you, boo. Let’s not bully people for have passion about their genuine interests.
"introduce yourself as the reason other girls hate you" wait- girls hate me?.... *single tear rolling down my face*
*That time when you realize that girls hates you*
this video's whole comment section is just golden
Some hate me some don’t. Isn’t that normal-
@@drefloresca95 agreed tbqh I'm trying to like all of the non-bots comments
*;_;*
“She wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts, she’s cheer captain and I am on the bleachers” lol
SO YOU COULD SEE THAT I'M THE ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS YOU
@@ps1hagrid786 BEEN HERE ALL ALONG SO WHY CANT YOU SEeeEeeeE
@@lauren1724 YOU BELONG WITH mEEEEeEeeEEeeeee
I remember how much I used to like that song but now I really fucking hate it tbh it's annoying
I'm a huge Swiftie but that song... yikes. And Better Than Revenge. I'm glad she outgrew that mindset.
We honestly need more girl-friends in media/stories.
The impact the friendship of Inej and Nina in Crooked Kingdom had on me, an adult, is insane. It nearly moved me to tears to witness an authentic friendship between female (main) characters in a book.
I had a ton of internalized misogyny growing up because I was always taught feminine =bad. It took me wayyy to long to accept that I like pink. Because pink is feminine and therefore bad. I'm still working on correcting it too.
Eleanor Roosevelt began the whole "pink is for girls" thing. Before that, it was a more "masculine" colour because it was so vibrant and noticeable...
I love pink. It's one of my most used colours now. It's happy and lovely. It's strong and dominant. Judge me all you want, but it's a damn good colour.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk...
The biggest flex for the “why girls hate me” trend would just be to say “they don’t”
Oh yes they do. All of those nlog girls hate each other because they're trying to out-different each other
they actually love me 😎
jk they only see me as a friend
please i want an emotional support girlfriend
@@jamiecasimir5040 you'll find her
one day
hopefully
i've seen a couple ones like that, they're great
@@jamiecasimir5040 Only if you promise to be her emotional support girlfriend back. ☺️
'introduce yourself as the reason why other girls hate you'
Sis, the fact you're jumping on this tik tok trend is all we need.
Yep, the fact that they are doing the trend in the first place shows that there is shows some kind of passive-aggressiveness in the first place. Maybe even a hint of arrogance and a sense of entitlement.
and all the comments that say they’re the problem which is true, but then i see a lot more comments saying “oh i thought we were girls for girls” YEAH WE ARE but not when one is trying to be above other girls 😐
I really hate the "I'm not like other girls" trend, but I also really hate being called a "pick me" literally any time I ever acknowledge men's issues, like male DV victims being shamed into silence or male SA victims being told they should be happy that they got some action. As if the only reason a woman should care about the wellbeing of men is because she's desperate for male attention? It gives me the same energy as when men just show really basic respect to women and treat then like humans, and then a bunch of incels come around and say "wow, what a simp!" Like the only reason a guy should care about the wellbeing of women is because he's desperate to have sex with her?
It's so silly. It's one of many reasons I got rid of tiktok. People are so deep into whatever ideologies they have that they no longer see other human beings as people.
Thank you for this. We need more women like you.
Internet personas are highly performative (intentionally or not). I think it makes it difficult to trust that someone is honest about their positions. When I talk with someone they have no time to think through and self-cenzor their response. You can easily edit anything ~problematic~ out of your video tho
It doesn't mean there're no honest creators out there but they always make me question whether they say something I like because they agree with me or because they want to sell mi something
Thank you, honestly it's beyond me how self professed feminists don't realize that calling someone a "Pick Me" in this context reveals their own internalized misogyny, it's essentially saying that the only reason a woman might have an opinion different to that of the "group" is wanting male sexual attention. How 'progressive'.
The comparison with incels is brilliant by the way, it is exactly the same mindset and it's bewildering more people (especially those in these camps) don't recognize the irony.
@@lurkmoar9066 so glad to know I'm not the only one who sees it! It's literally the exact same mentality, just with the genders swapped.
And yes, as a conservative Christian woman, I cannot tell you how many times feminists have berated me and treated me like absolute garbage and told me I have "internalized misogyny" for being a conservative or a Christian. It's insane to me that they don't see how misogynistic it is for them to believe that the ONLY ideology women are allowed to have is the mainstream leftist ideology of modern feminism, and that if any woman ever disagrees with any part of that ideology, they must be brainwashed by a man.
No joke, someone recently *literally* told me I have STOCKHOLM SYNDROME because I'm a conservative Christian, and said that I am "siding with my oppressors."
I told them I'm not sure who they're referring to, because nobody is oppressing me, so I don't know who they are claiming my "oppressors" are. Smh.
It's wild to me that they don't see how misogynistic that mentality is. Apparently women can't possibly think for themselves and go against what is expected of them in modern society. No, no, the only way that's possible is if they're just too stupid and easily manipulated by the men in their life. 🙄 such great feminist empowerment.
It disgusts me. It's straight up cult-mentality, and that should be concerning to anyone who is a part of that ideology. If the minute you step outside of perfect alignment, they turn on you, hate you, bash you, call you stupid, call you brainwashed, etc... you just might be in a cult.
Actually it’s not JUST more women, we need more PEOPLE like you
I was ostracized from girls my age in middle school so I developed the "not like other girls" mentality and the guys I was friends with encouraged it and put down women in a way that just seemed like lifting me up so I didnt see the issue. But also to them I was "too girly" at times and would separate me and invalidate me due to "you're a girl"
Then once we hit high school I became a resource for nudes so that wasnt fun
How does one become a source for nudes? Did you send them a lot? Did they ask for them all the time?
“Anything a woman enjoys comes with some kind of baggage.”
Wow, this is so true. 😔
Yup
Ikr...
That statement hit harder than literally anything else in the video. 😭
Seriously though women get made fun of for having any interests
That sentence is actually going to live in my head forever. Wow.
my “not like other girls” story: in middle school, i used to carry around these massive books as opposed to simply putting them in my backpack because i wanted other people to notice that i was, in fact, literate
Bchvhgfdtf I do this sometimes but only because I’m too lazy to put my books in my bag-
So did Harry styles bump into you, all your philosophical, unconventional books falling on the floor, desperately trying to pick them up but a slight touch locks your eyes on his green orbs
@@mariakiwi1428 LMAO
@@mariakiwi1428 giving me much ✨tingles✨
@@mariakiwi1428 LMFAO NOT THE ORBS
OMG yes!!! I've been questioning how toxic TikTok comments section are. It's actually really embarrassing because you can tell it was written by teenagers who think being rude or sassy is a good personality trait.
I love the idea that somehow this girl is distinctly ungirly because she eats chocolate, like candy isn’t a stereotypically girly thing.
I was one of those “I’m not like other girls” girls as a kid.
Now I’m not even a girl. Upgrades people
HAHA this is the best one
You're definitely "not like other girls" anymore
You've *a s c e n d e d*
Exactly, I'm agender now
SAME
That escalated FAST lol 😂
When Mulan said, “I wanna be like other girls” she really was ahead of her time
edit: ahh it was actually the three princesses who said it (from Mulan 2)! thanks to everyone who corrected me lol.
I think it was only the three princesses that said that in their song but yes they did change the game.
I mean, neither is good. We all need some personality
@@CoCreation.with.Qualia Yes. And if we all have personality, we are all like each other in that aspect. „Like other girls“ doesn‘t have to mean „we are all the same“. It can also mean „we are all individuals, with cool interests and personalities, and we are alike in that way, so there‘s no need to group all other girls together to try and make yourself stand out.“
@@samiraansari5686 I was going to say that🥰
@@CoCreation.with.Qualia the other girls have a personality too, you dont need to have the same one ffs
I'm so greatful that I didn't go through the "I'm not like the other girls" phase, rather I felt left out and extremely upset that I wouldn't be like the other girls, I thought liking other colors other than pink was not feminine, for god sake I was 9, and I felt the urgent need to be like the other girls, despite being one.
Man I felt this.
I feel happy that i'm now secure with myself. During middle school I felt like a weirdo because I identified a lot with more "masculine things". I used to also be bullied for it and for being physically larger and stronger than most girls at my school ( genetics).
I felt bad cuz I would often be compared to guys, sometimes even as a compliment :/ made me doubt myself and feel less feminine, causing me to adapt the NLOG shit.
Today i'm still not very traditionally feminine but i'm happy, and respect all kinds of women and my traditionally feminine friends without bias.
it makes me so uncomfortable when people say “other females” instead of women or girls.
Dehumanising fr
That's your opinion, I personally don't really think there is anything wrong with it
@@No-zp5mv that is indeed my opinion. Using it as an adjective is perfectly fine to me I don’t care it’s the correct way of using it but when it’s used as a noun it just feels dehumanising, woman is the human term for a female human like you would call a female lion a lioness or a female deer a doe not just female... it doesn’t make grammatical sense.
@@Aj01110 Oh yeah, I should have said a bit more, I meant if they used it as an adjective I didn't mind. I also get kind of uncomfortable when they say it like a noun.
I get that, although I do prefer the use of "females" medically since I'm not a woman. An ex tried saying "I thought females were evil" in an attempt to manipulate me the other day however, and knowing he wasn't doing it to affirm my gender it just really grossed me out that he viewed chicks in that way.
I’m not like other girls! Every girl is unique and their own individual and I find it beautiful how we can be so different but have stuff in common.
i love this comment sm! ❤️
Say it louder for the people in the back!💙
yes!!
OH MY GAWD that is the whole point i have been trying to get across to other ppl .In my opinion we are all not like other girls bc we are all unique and different in our own way and don't have to be condescending to other girls due to differences I mean if you like to dress like a bad bitch that you are do it if you like pizza or like games or play sports or like make up or whatever just be and don't make it like it's something soo special .
Good night and thanks for coming to my TED TALK.
cutie :,)
Before I discovered that I'm a trans guy, in my preteens, I just wanted to talk about videogames. It did not matter if it was with men or women, I just wanted to talk about it. I grew up playing niche videogames because of my brother, and I always loved it intensively, but in general I never met a girl who liked it like me, and the only guys that did, didn't want to talk to me because I was a female. They thought that or I didn't know about it or I was faking it for their attention.
I was so sad and upset. I don't remember having a phase like "I'm not like the other girls", but rather I suffered from it because of that discrimination.
I was straight up forced into a 'not like other girls' phase because I attended a homeschool co-op when I was a teen and literally everyone, boys and girls alike, avoided me because I watched anime and "it was sinful and satanic." It took me until my 20s to make any friends my own age, which has left me quite socially stunted. I WISH I had been like other girls back then, or could've done a better job hiding my hobbies and interests. Maybe I would've been happier that way.
yesderday my friend said she liked hanging out w guys since girls are too much drama.. which is odd considering shes the only one bringing drama into our own friendgroup smh
Well... Maybe you can give her a mirror?
People who like to go on about how much they hate ‘drama’ are often the instigators of it, in my experience.
Ironic
Girl drama is less illegal anyway
a girl like that goes to my school and she literally made fun of me for DOING NOTHING. LITERALLY NOTHING. i have social anxiety and I don’t really talk so her and her “guy friends” made fun of me and called me a freak. 🙄 she also made fun of other girls for not knowing many video games and stuff. she’s so basic it’s funny.
The whole not like other girls thing just reminds me of that margaret atwood quote where she says “even pretending you aren’t catering to a male fantasy is a male fantasy”
Oh god, you are absolutely right, also this quote is going to haunt me until the day I die. I'm just copying it here in case anyone would like to read it in context:
“Male fantasies, male fantasies, is everything run by male fantasies? Up on a pedestal or down on your knees, it's all a male fantasy: that you're strong enough to take what they dish out, or else too weak to do anything about it. Even pretending you aren't catering to male fantasies is a male fantasy: pretending you're unseen, pretending you have a life of your own, that you can wash your feet and comb your hair unconscious of the ever-present watcher peering through the keyhole, peering through the keyhole in your own head, if nowhere else. You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.”
Damn Margy A needs to shuttup lol she's making too much sense
I don't think I had a "I'm not like the other girls Phase"
I always felt different and was jealous of the others, until I realized, that literally every one shares some quirks and I love it😭
Even if I don't know that person, I know they have something in their personality, that we share
It might not be a lot, but sharing interests is just so comforting
I think the “I’m not like other girls” could be divided into two categories. Nerotypical girls and nerodivergent girls. This video is very informative about the nerotypical side, but I think there’s a lot of different things going on when you feel fundamentally different from all the girls around you. Especially when you’re not diagnosed. I didn’t really go through an “I’m not like other girls” phase, but I’m interested in what other nerodivergent people experienced going through that phase
as a neurodivergent girl, i definitely went through a "not like other girls" phase / terrible superiority complex, and i know it was me projecting my frustration that i couldnt understand/relate to other ppl my age. Im also gay, so that added to my alienated feelings. I turned my neurodivergence and lesbianism into "im not like the other girls, im too intellectually gifted to care about stupid things like boys and romance".
and whilst i definitely think my autism/adhd contributed to my "not like other girls" phase, i also think that even if it hadnt, society wouldve pushed me towards that mentality either way.
I can second the neurodivergent superiority complex. being on the spectrum didn’t help - when i dicovered grandiose thinking to be a side effect of the disorder it made me turn inward and develop some ableism - i resented my neurodivergency and, in turn, mine and other people’s reaction to it. it is a struggle overcoming the NLOG/pick me dilemma, and sometimes it makes me wonder how different it would be if I were born male
As an autistic girl I definitely had that phase too, because anyway I got treated like it anyway. Feeling like I couldn't fit in anywhere other than online spaces where people shared similar interests to me, and where most NLOG memes were shared, is where it started. I got over it now obviously, but that was my attempt at still trying to feel like I belonged somewhere and wasn't just seen as a complete weirdo.
I am a DUDE but I second this. It’s not that I think im different and better then everything and everyone else, its just that I was born that way. Born…different
"Neurodivergent" is the new "I'm not like other girls".
I'm not like other girls, I'm just tucking my messy caramel hair behind my ears and fixing my intense green eyes on the ground because Harry Styles is staring at me in class -
You forgot the green orbs😭
Oh they turn blue when you're happy and dark green when your mad
The Wattpad energy of it all 😂
omg
Harry: 👁️👄👁️
oh, in high school I thought I was "not like other girls" because I didn't obsess over boys. turns out I was asexual all along lol
Bruh same just turns out I’m a lesbian lmfao
Same
Ok
Nice. Ace gang.
Lmoa mood
I found Casey's channel without looking for it, and I'll look forward to more great videos. I was violently 'not like other girls' as a teen; I expressed it everywhere from personal journals to school essays. That was long before the Internet. Had I been able to go online, I'm sure I would have gotten involved in the communities that used 'not like other girls' unironically. It took a job working mostly with other women, and then being married and socializing more with women for reasons of propriety, to make me realize how enjoyable female friendship can be.
I LOVE THIS VIDEO! Ultimately, the new reiteration of “not like other girls” rhetoric seems like a cry for validation of personal worth. Instead of deciding we’re only worthy based on how unique we feel we are, I’d love to see more media affirming that people are valuable because they’re human and therefor have innate value not determined by their interests or traits.
Clearly you’ve never met me and my friends. While other girls wear pink, we wear black. Others paint their nails, we paint portraits of gods. You dance? Cute. We leap over fires in the dead of night.
We are a coven. We’re witches. The pink girls can join too, they just have to bring their own materials for the ritual tonight. We’re sacrificing Bill for making fun of Kelsey’s acne.
Whens the first session, im quite honestly intrigued to join
Wait a minute I wanna come too!
This reminds me of the “you twerk, we mosh” black veil brides meme
yEa screw your biLL
ANSKSKSDK BEST COMMENT OMG
Being “not trendy” has become the trend sksnejdjdjr
And, in turn, makes you trendy lmao
No truly like things are more accessible than ever now like most people's tastes have a lot of variety and you'll find lots of different "kinds" of ppl in a lot of different fields yet the stereotypes still exist and people think they're quirky bc like idk they do emo makeup but listen to kpop or something. At the same time I will see ppl try to "quirkify" something very normal like I saw a video once that was like "all my different styles" but it was just streetwear AND THAT'S OKAY but it's weird to me how badly everyone wants to be different lol.
There is no longer 1 singular popular way to dress, music to listen to, passions to have, etc. Multiple things hold large amounts of popularity now, there is no singular way to be trendy, but everyone still wanna pretend there is probably. As Casey said there has been no massive shift to remove those kinds of stereotypes in media bc it's all still run by old ass mfs who cannot keep up with how fast culture is moving now because of the internet, so we get this really slow and dated perception of what it's like to be young (think: every movie about teens using dated references, slang, subcultures which isn't even a real concept anymore, etc.)
@@piagebot2943 it's a never-ending loop.
See: ‘Hipsters’ the hit tune ‘All my friends are dickheads’.
Conformist anti-conformism lol
The plus side to grow in up in the 90’s, if you “weren’t like other girls” (which apparently means you’re not preppy or super popular) you had your own group of friends who were also like you, and nobody competed with each other. Everyone just fit into their own cliques.
When I was little, every girl I met ever hated the colour pink ( myself included) because it is associated to being girly. We all wanted to wear black leather jackets and say we listen to rock and think we were different for it. I’ve now grown to love pink, it is one of my absolute favourite colours. 🥰💖
Girl: I only hang out with boys because girls are too much drama.
Me : *takes out history book filled with stories about wars started by MEN*
Boys are just as much drama filled. There is no escape
@@irongirltoni that’s what I keep trying to tell people. People are too much drama. Both sides.
@@SynFlowers People have WAY to much drama which is why I try to stay away from them
Cringe
@@strelok9111 ok
That's one thing I liked about The Princess And The Frog - Tiana's and her rich white friend were clearly set up along "I'm not like other girls" lines, but then the friend proved to be a pure delight, someone who could be airheaded or self-centered but was a true supportive friend when it counted most. You were primed to think she was an evil stepsister rivalizing with Tiana for male attention but then it turns out that no, she's just a girl who has different tastes and goals than Tiana but she isn't evil, and her role in the story resolves as being "Tiana's friend and ally" instead of "Tiana's rival or foil". OK there are racial dynamics at play (like, yeah, the one time you'll show the "other girls" as fine is when you're trying to avoid painting the white rich people as evil in segregation-era Louisiana, this is great...) but it still works as a subversion.
Right? She was legit happy for Tiana.
lottie was amazing and i loved her, princess and the frog it’s my fav disney movie
I'm glad that Charlotte was a good and supportive friend to Tiana, but I agree that they should've at least acknowledged the racism a little more instead of hiding it. Obviously not every single white person thought the same way or agreed with the notion that black people were inferior back in the day, but for the movie to not have a single racist character in a movie that is set in 1920s New Orleans and has a black woman as the protagonist is a bit ridiculous. Disney has (and still does) tackle dark subjects in their movies, so they could've given a small taste of the racism Tiana would've faced at that time in a kid friendly way. I'm not saying Charlotte should've been racist just because she's white, in fact I'm glad she's not, but that there could've been other characters who were racist towards Tiana in the movie.
Working on trying to incorporate that more rather than the other way around for my tomboy protagonists.
Yes!! I love princess and the frog and Charlotte
Honestly, my pick me phase was so bad that if I found Tate when I was 12-13, I would've been his biggest supporter 😭
Honestly the list of all the reasons I thought I was so different is endless for me, and most of them are things that I now know many other women also enjoyed. I really thought I was different, turns out I was just gay.
It's also so interesting that the "I'm Not Like Other Girls" movie character trope is always shaming very-feminine girls whilst being pretty feminine themselves. This media gives the message that 'if you are *too* feminine, you're vapid, BUT you still need to be preforming femininity at *some* level.' Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Basically T.T
@@DorkieBebie was just about to say that!!
literally, it's like, "be feminine ! no not like that !!!!"
Yes there's always been this narrative in media of a "bit is okay but not too much". Like it's okay to be a bit feminine but not TOO much, don't go TOO far. And the main character in these stories is always framed as being JUST right in terms of femininity while the "other girl" is "over the top" when she's really just hyper feminine but instead of it being treated as a choice of style or expression like with the MC, its presented as a reason to dislike her and that it somehow corelates with her personality e.g. "hyper" feminine (i.e likes the colour pink) = vindictive manstealer or ditsy. We need more positive portrayals of the "other girl" archetype because contrary to what this media is trying to push, the other girls are pretty great!
Not TOO feminine but not too manly so that you still attract men. Remember, our only role is to be desirable to men 😬
the harmful and regressive body shaming of some of those tiktoks... "i'm not like other girls because i have CURVES." "your boyfriends like me better because of my BODY." that's so upsetting.
you're worth more than your body shape. we all are. it's wonderful that you love your body, but it's awful to put down those who don't look like you.
Nothing says "I love myself" like measuring your self-worth entirely by what some imaginary boyfriends might think 😂
👏👏👏👏👏
Mark my words, after a period of a few years or a decade Tik Tok gonna have the same vibe as tumblr in 2021 as in suprisingly chill with blogs cringing at their past behaviour
Being curvy still isn’t the beauty standard. I hate having them
@@iLikeCok Sorry you hate your body, but being curvy is 100% a beauty standard right now.
I always had male friends but not because I wanted to, it just happened, but I was always SO JELOUS of girl friend groups, they were so caring with each other 😭 I watched how girls hugged each other and called each other pretty, they borrowed each other’s clothes and hang out in beautiful places. I was so rough around the edges for spending too much time with men that I just didn’t know how to interact with other girls, so I never had too many girl friends. I feel like I missed out 😢
My male friends just didn’t care about little things like if I arrived home safe, or if I was feeling sad about something.
So I am an autistic girl. I’ve done a lot of observing of female behavior in an effort to be more “like the other girls.” One big difference between neurotypical and neurodivergent girls from my perspective is that for neurotypical girls (and boys, though to much lesser degree), it seems like EVERY behavior is presumed to be social. Meaning everything you say, wear and do is supposed to be interconnected to and in communication with Everyone Else. It is assumed that we all agree that there are codes and messages to your clothing, music, entertainment choices that are sorting and aligning you socially at all times. Since your relationship to the group is The Most Important Thing, if I am behaving a certain way on the surface, I MUST be trying to communicate or align myself socially beneath the surface. I know for me, that is just almost never naturally true. It’s a behavior I’ve actually tried to imitate, but I usually fail because it’s so against my nature. But it leads to a lot of misunderstandings, where girls are taking offense or pushing back on or criticizing what they imagine / infer that I’m trying to secretly achieve by my choices, rather than just listening to what I’m saying with words and believing it. I’d bet that’s what a lot of neurotypical girls are also suffering from as well. We all just want to be accepted for being ourselves, which makes us all exactly like all the other girls.
No offence but you sound kind of misogynistic
@@dollinterrupted I’m genuinely curious how you could possibly think that based on what I wrote.
this is actually incredibly accurate-a lot of people in the comments have analyzed what they think drives this stuff but this one really stuck out to me :)
years of reading books that reinforced all the “not like other girls” stereotypes is why it took me forever to realize that I like fashion. bruh I’m still embarrassed about it but I enjoy it so much! ughhh
Don't be embarrassed, fashion is expression! Something that's uniquely you. You can be whoever you want with fashion.
I used to wear men clothes because I was so insecure and couldnt fit in with other girls but once I started maturing, I realized that I actually liked feminine clothing and that there are more open minded women nowadays
literally same, also i felt like i was too ugly for makeup or fashion that i stayed away from both when it's something I actually really enjoy. And I still catch myself thinking some stupid not like other girls shit because I was deep into that phase for so long. And I highly agree with Casey that movies and books where a major reason for my way of thinking
Don’t be. Without you guys we’d probably still be wearing leaves...
For me it was my mom who made me feel like liking makeup or fashion means im stupid and annoying (she s asian idk if that s got to do anything w it but i think she wasn't taken seriously back then) Im so happy for you tho, i hope you can pursue your passion freely in the future 🥰
feminism is hot misogyny is not
Consent and respecting women is hot
@@caseyaonso4270 same 😂
THANK YOU
@@arandomtheatrekid8855 i’m not saying you’re wrong necessarily but that is the bare minimum
@@caseyaonso4270 CRYING
Honestly I would love listening to a podcast of yours. Your voice is so soothing and I could listen to you talk for hours about the same stuff you talk about on your RUclips videos
honestly deleting tiktok and instagram last summer has really helped my comparing myself to other women=hating them for it mindset.
The part in the video about how we don't let women enjoy things and we judge each other and are judged for the things that we enjoy as being tryhards resonated SO much. This is a really great video, entertaining and also important commentary. I love when the youtube algorithm does me right, thank you Casey :)
Love you Leeor! 😍🐘
Exactly! I feel like participating in the "I'm not like other girls" trend just shines a light on insecurities you need to work on. (Which is FINE, we all have insecurities, we just dont show it in the same way). I just think it's unbelievable that people don't realize they are putting other people down to make themselves feel better.
OMG LEEOR HI
I think the same too. And I also think that's why I when I had my phase, I avoided any and everything that was labelled "girly" even the "chicklits" and "chick flicks" cuz it was just too 'girly' and midle schooler me did NOT wanna be associated with that.
I feel like this is literally what happens everytime a new trend occurs. We just feel the need to pigeonhole. "She's a vsco girl" "She's an e-girl"
Luckily for me, my "I'm not like other girls" phase was short-lived coz of some guy that said this to me when I told him I hate makeup: "lemme guess, you also only hang out with guys, hate pink, wear baggy clothes, and eat sloppily coz you're not like other girls? Like literally every other girl?". I felt belittled coz I really thought I was superior to other girls prior to that incident.
While he was right, that seems like a pretty rude way of putting it 😳
I’m glad that it did get you thinking though
Tough love that's the best you gonna get
This is proof that guys see pass this trope as well, so while girls are trying to be different from other women, men will always fine a way to belittle you know no matter what. It doesn’t matter. If you’re actually different than that’s fine but thinking you’re better because if it is where the issue comes from.
I’m happy that it had such a positive impact on the way you think, and maybe I’m overthinking this, but I can’t help but think we’re just going in a circle. Can girls not like makeup without being “Not like the other girls?” Can we not express our interests without immediately being put into a box? Is this not the type of profiling that created INLOGs in the first place? It kinda seems like we just can’t win lmao
but that's problematic too... let's say u ACTUALLY didn't like wearing makeup and dresses, does that mean you're doing it for male attention and that you hate feminine girls??? No. That conclusion is inherently sexist as men think you're acting like that for their attention.
This video was so incredibly engaging, and I appreciate and admire how gently, kindly and respectfully you put your messages across. I definitely learnt some new ways to look at this trend today, thank you! ☺️
I just found this video, and I really loved it! Thanks for talking about the 'I'm better than other girls' mentality. It took me a while to confront my own internalized misogyny and I feel grateful to see a bit that it's not necessarily all me and to see how female-presenting people are socialized does really affect us all.
I wish people spoke more honestly about their “I’m not like other girls” phase 😭 like we definitely all had one... I feel like speaking about it is one of the keys to overcoming self esteem issues & creating real genuine friendships.
I agree with you! It would be great to normalize these kinds of conversations even though I know that yes it can be embarrassing looking back but it’s so important to. Specially to realize how we all fell victim to the same ideals and self hate as young vulnerable girls and seeing how we overcame or perhaps didn’t. To be there for each other and realize we aren’t alone and to help each other.
I talk about mine bc everyone acts like it’s this cookie cutter experience of internalized misogyny and hating other women. But in my case it was caused by a lot of bullying and exclusion in elementary school because I had bad social skills and by the time I got to sixth grade I kinda made my personality being “weird” and “different”. Everyone acts like this is always caused by internalized misogyny or even to impress guys when it’s not. I think more women who had this phase for reasons other than internalized misogyny need to talk about it more. I’ve also heard women who are lgbt or neurodivergent(mostly autistic) talk about how they had this phase bc of their respective identities, not bc of internalized misogyny.
@@janicehuang7208 img same ! I genuinely had no friends and was bullied so hated “other girls” legitimately said “girls are too much drama”.... while not having any guy friends either 😂
Yes! Like I talk about these things with my (two) friends and I’ll never have any more real friends than them
@@janicehuang7208 I feel like that the issue is not some "internalized misogyny", but simply the need to feel different.
No wonder so many people go through a phase where they think they're a mermaid, vampire, demigod, whatever. Because they want to be unique.
Just wanna say that the movie "mean girls" is much more different than other films because it actually criticizes how girls put each other down even if you are popular or not. Like in the film all the girls, were mean girls. You don't see that in movies that often that even the main character and the less popular characters notice that they themselves are mean.
Absolutely! Mean Girls was a great critique and analysis of feminine misogyny. The same can somewhat go to Legally Blonde, in a way. Too bad there aren't more movies like this.
totally, like as much as cady turned into a mean girl, janis also acted like a total mean girl too!
yes!
@siân diann no both regina and janis were both the mean girls in the story. the movie was about how ANYONE can be mean regardless of how popular they were
I always felt different from the other girls in my class in middle school, turns out I was just the only lesbian between (mostly) straight girls lol
On a more serious note: while I do agree with the fact that the 'not like other girls' trend is dumb, it is possible to literally feel not like other girls. Like, I have adhd and being neurodivergent in a neurotypical environment can make you feel alienated and different. Same goes for everything else that strays from the 'norm' (like being lgbt e.a.) But I would categorize that more in the 'different and unique and that’s totally valid' category than the 'not like other girls' category if that makes sense
Exactly! I'm Autistic and went through this phase. Not nearly to this extent, but I definitely took on that harmful mindset that the only way to feel any form of validation was to be different. I felt like that was the only way I'd be accepted by others. The pandemic gave me a lot of time to reflect, and that's when I started to grow and mature (that's also when I came to realize I'm Autistic). I hope media stops using this discrete form of misogyny because it's really harmful to everyone.
I told my friends that I love musicals, and they called me cringe and other bs I have not spoken to them for an entire day
I'm not like other girls...I actually stay home during covid 👁👄👁
I’m not like other girls... I wear a mask with my nose in it 👁👄👁
you snapped, i love it.
*w a i t t h a t ’ s l e g a l*
Burn!🔥
@@soltandvinegar PAHAHAHA I CANT-
This isn't talked about as much, but the gays have a strong "I'm not like other gays" mentality too. Because most people are brought up with some sense of negativity towards gay stereotypes, internalized homophobia is really prominent in a lot of male gay people. A big reason gays go for straight guys is the feeling of being special, and not like the other gay guys, because you're the special exception. I think this is very similar to the pick me girl mentality.
@Pingo There are videos about it. I can recommend the video “internalized homophobia SUCKS” by Matt Bernstein (ruclips.net/video/tasPGGPR4Ww/видео.html). It’s on point. And I can tell you from personal experience that internalised homophobia is a thing, and does indeed suck.
@Pingo that makes me really happy :)
But doesn't gays going for cis guys violate the cis' personal preference? Y' know, because they don't like guys?
@@skrrtskrrt2410 again with the stereotype that gays are predatory, it is not violating anyone to go for people as long as you're respectful, understand boundaries, and back down once yk they're not interested.
assuming you meant straight instead of cis bc that's a whole other thing i didn't even meantion.
@@user-qv5om2oe1i I think they meant straight, cis wouldnt make sense since they can be gay too but idk I am just trying to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Love this video, so many good thought provoking points. Obsessed with your channel!
Thank you for existing:) 🥺❤️
I hate that on Tik tok a girl can wear a t shirt, ripped jeans, and white air forces and are called “basic”? Like why can’t people just wear what they want to wear?!
Right! Especially since those articles of clothing are meant to be basic anyway so what's the big deal with them. When you draw a person on paper, most of the time it's jeans and a basic T...
At one point in time someone put way to much meaning into clothes and it's been fucking with us all since
I just want to wear clothes without being labeled :(
What's wrong with being basic tho lol
@@sisitmae There's nothing wrong with being basic, but the word is still used as an insult. I mean there are billions of us on this earth, somebody's gonna be basic.
Everyone who’s assigned female at birth goes through the “I’m not like other girls” phase cuz everything girls like is criticized. Taking pride in being “different” is like a defense mechanism to protect yourself from the criticism that bombards girls and women every single day. Like when you’re 15 and some dude is like “i bet you’re obsessed with Starbucks and makeup” in an attempt to insult you it feels like you’re defending yourself when you tell him “actually I hate Starbucks and makeup, that’s for basic bitches” even tho there’s nothing wrong with liking those things
Omg, thats soo true thanks for putting it into words!
Yep didn’t admit my favorite color was pink until literally I was in my 20s
haha, i actually never went through the "I'm not like other girls" phase, because i was extremely insecure and always wanted to fit in, so i thought being like "everyone else" was automatically a good thing. 😎
for a while i actually thought the "not like other girl" trend was just girls being insecure about HOW they aren't like other girls, not that it's a good thing to not be like them.
YES
you put this perfectly
I was subconsciously taught my entire life not to trust other people but especially girls. I have always been larger and movies, books and my own mother fed into my insecurities. Realizing how kind people and especially women can be has been very eye opening!!
I love your videos! 😀
your jughead was SPOT ON
it really was
Oh my gosh, I love your videos monika!!!🥰🥰
omg hi Monika!!
ong monika!!!
“The boys” will make fun of girls for liking literally anything when their whole personality consists of= 🏈🎣🧢🍕 edit: why are so many people offended over this BAHAHAHA
👁👄👁
Well, the reason for why boys interests seem so narrow is caused by other boys. Boys are shamed, if they express liking stuff other than the emojis you added. Many boys have their own rich inner worlds and personalities, and a lot of 'guilty plessures' (which shouldn't be guilty at all) because they will get made fun of if they reveal that they like: shopping, classical poetry, fashion design, playing with dolls, art, whatever. So they tend to keep their artistic hobbies and deep thoughts to themselves, and just "act like other guys." Trust me, if you have a boyfriend/close guy friends then they will sooner or later open up things to you which they have rarely shared with other boys, in fear of getting made fun of.
@@LA-cm9uo I wholeheartedly agree with you although making fun of they’re girl friends for having different hobbies ain’t cool.
@@LA-cm9uo yes I 100% agree with you and that’s so messed up but I’m talking about the misogynistic boys who shame girls for liking literally anything and they’re the type of guys to shame other guys too for liking other stuff too playing with dolls for example
@@LA-cm9uo Yes, I knew a guy back in 2018 who tried to make fun of girls who liked Harley Quinn because he thought they wouldn't know anything about comics... And lo and behold, many girls came across his post and to hold him to shut up.
Yooo you gave quite an insightful reflection on all this! Thank you for sharing! ❤