11 Reasons Why You Don’t Like Being Around People
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- Опубликовано: 10 ноя 2022
- Do you prefer to be alone most of the time? If so, have you thought about the reasons why you don’t like being around people? Well, people who like to be alone tend to avoid socializing and social situations for a number of possible reasons. These include certain personality traits, specific mental health disorders, and even a lack of social skills.
In today’s society, it’s common to feel like an outcast if you don’t want to spend all your time with others. But it’s important to remember that there are many reasons why someone might prefer solitude, and none are less valid than any others.
Some people have a fear of intimacy, social anxiety, or avoidant personality disorder and don’t like being around people because they’re afraid of what others will say or do. But there are also people who just don’t enjoy socializing as much as others do. It could be because they’re introverts or because they’ve had bad experiences with certain types of people in the past.
If you’re one of those people who like to be alone and you don’t like being around people in general, this video can help you shed some light on why that could be.
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Too many people in this world that are pure evil. It's better to have a pet than a "friend" who might stab you in the back.
True that Chris!!
Sad but true.
Complicated with their own agenda.
An agenda that can discard you mercilessly.
Because I hate people I do not hate being alone.
this is so true. less chances of getting hurt.
@@khimmybee322 I confirm.
" I don't hate people, I just feel better when they are not around "
- Charles Bukowski
I can be myself. No one is around!
No stress...
AMEN TO THAT. EVERYBODY NEEDS TO "STAY AWAY" FROM TOXIC PEOPLE. IT HELPS ALOT.
No reason to hate me though i didnt do anything to you
AMEN TO THAT. SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST TOO ANNOYING.
AMEN TO THAT. SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST ANNOYING.
I dont like being around a lot of people, but I do enjoy being around the right person 😌
Same thats why I am still looking for a gf, the right one is out there, I know. But thats all I need, I have my family and close friends
You mean the ones with a great set of knockers and a tight A$$ ?
Me too I don't trust people easily but I don't be rude too I just smile . It takes time for me to give trust to someone . But when I give I will stay loyal till the end . But if they break it I will forgive them . May sound like a Saint. 😂😂😂but that's how I am I don't like to keep hard feelings like hate and hurt someone ., if I do I become tired than that being kind and smiling is better . May be am too lazy to hate .
True, me too. But such „right people“ are very hard to come by. Had met a handful throughout all my life only. At the moment no such person in my life so I prefer completely alone 😊
Currently 46, never married (no intentions of changing this), also no kids (getting to old to start now) and prefer to be alone, at home doing my own "thing", if I could avoid contact with other people, I would (only because 99% of people I know & society have proven they can't be trusted). Being alone is a power most can’t handle. It's possible to be alone but not lonely. A person can be in a crowd but yet still feel lonely.
😶
i can relate.
i'm 47 and hate people so much, i literally avoid them at all costs. i try not to leave my house and when i do, i go, handle my business, and go straight home. like a beeline. being out in public actually scares me because people are so incredibly evil and the world is so very dangerous. so i just kinda hide. i hear that there's millions like me.
i believe they call it 'avoidant personality disorder'.
@@happymess3219nope its something that can be unlearned but its hard depending on the person. In your case id say theres a 1% chance it can be unlearned
You're just in the wrong area and yes there's a difference between being alone and being lonely
Same age same situation. It’s not even because people can’t be trusted but I just don’t find it adds in any way to my life. I always count the time until I can leave again, even with people I actually like. Just boring and disturbs me in a way. Very very few exceptions. I always feel bad about this but at the same time cannot pretend to be something that I am not 😊
hahahahahaha, writes the exact same quote as everyone else as if it's their own thought
It's possible to be alone but not lonely. A person can be in a crowd but yet still feel lonely.
Being around people makes me feel lonely LoL
@@mikebrunello243 join the club 😂
Yes, and isn't it amusing how something must be wrong with us because we don't "fit the norm." I, for one, am very pleased that I don't! :)
So true!!!! Even people who are married and have children can be very lonely.
@@skroy8671 I feel ya. Why be like everyone else? I was put down by my peers and even my family for not being like a "girl".
The more people you are around, the more drama you will encounter.
And stress too
@@marcovillareal6163 Mostly it seems; stress!
Amen 🙏🏻
Stress for sure and people only look for you when they need somthing
Yes, and I've reached a point in my life where I can't stand unnecessary drama.
I absolutely love being alone. I don’t feel lonely. When I go out in social settings, I find myself pretending to be on my phone and walking out often to have some time alone.
I cannot wait to go back home. I’m not shy. I can have a conversation. But I cannot stand small talks. I rather stay silent and observe. Meanwhile my mind is occupied with so many thoughts. I don’t even want anyone to talk to me cus you’re interrupting the conversation/ thoughts going on in my mind .
Yup sounds like me lol. When I go to a social gathering I try to sit next to exit door so I can leave as soom as its done!
- I can’t stand being rushed, it makes me panic.
- I hate being bossed around, & criticized.
- I hate being with people who are loud and swear around children and seniors.
Не любите учителей, понимаю.
I hate visiting people and they throw a party or cookout and invite a bunch of people.
I’m always happier with my own company. I only get bored when I’m around people, never when I’m alone.
yeah, I also thought opposite but what I reached conclusion is I'm happier own my own.
So truth, I can socialize for a while, but my body gets drained easily. Thats why I spent most of time alone, I never feel like escaping from me.
Being alone is a power most can’t handle
Amen❤️
Austin Power
Yes
fudge, I must be a superhero!
@@ByCrom superpowers are not for everyone..
If you don't like being around people, you're not alone.
How would you feel if the majority doesn't like to be around you, as well?
That's my experience.
@@dennismclaurin1487 at this point who cares. It's all about your serenity and mental health. The more people you have around you, the more those two are in jeopardy.
I'm a misanthropist ..
"If you don't like being around people, you're not alone"..... or are you?! 🤭
@@dennismclaurin1487that too. If youre not a likeable person than ofcourse no one will like you or treat you how you want. I was an unlikeable person at some point. Smelly, clingy, and sensitive lmao. I hated myself so i blamed it on society.
I was terrible with women so i turned to the red pill. It taught me how to have boundaries. Not with just women anybody. Then recently i learned about attachment styles. I then stopped following the redpill. I learned that alot of their advice made me have an avoidance attachment style but hey i stopped being a emotional crybaby. But once i learned how to be able to love & forgive & walk away everything just fell into place. Im still learning and working on myself to become secure.
Overall i learned that you cant be an overly emotional, lazy, clingy, butthurt baby and expect to have people want to hang out with you.
Nothing wrong with being a introvert but dont complain saying its the worlds fault you ate lonely.
Being around people, even the ones I really like, drains me.
It's like most people came out of a swamp
Yup I definitely need more time to recharge after those encounters.
Same here 😢
To all loners/HSP's/introverts,There is nothing wrong with being like that,don't let people tell you otherwise. As long as you are happy that way you don't have to conform to the Extrovert mentality to fit into the 'Norm '.I've been an introvert/loner all my life and from my experience introverts are much nicer people.
Bravo Claire, I'm 75 and have been that way all my life also! Even through marriage & kids and the work environment.
🙏
Thank you so much. Exactly
Same here. I kept my distance from the "popular" kids at school because I learned at a really young age that they are much more likely to be full of crap about who they were and how they really felt/thought about everything. Some people get along with everyone because they're truly accepting of all different kinds of people, but most people who are "popular" don't really seem to have a true self, just masks and costumes they put on to be "perfect" in different social settings.
@@greenbird777 literally
I don’t like small talks, fake people, selfish ones, clingy/jealous friends, those who can’t be empathetic enough to feel in my shoes, judgemental ones, intrusive ones, those who can’t keep my secrets forever, someone who has hidden agendas. This makes 95% of people around me so that’s why I’m totally alone. It’s much more peaceful to complete creative projects, read, surf the Internet and listen to music than have my blood boil with social formalities.
A pet will love you always and are great company
You dont like judgemental people? You're literally being judgemental right now. Not that there is anything wrong with being judgemental, people SHOULD be judgemental, but you are indeed a hypocrite.
I have seven dogs at home, and they are my favorite crew to be around. I had an interesting conversation with my mom about people because most people are too quick to judge and don't see the full scope of who certain people are. In my case with me, I've been stereotyped as the one that "knows everything" when the truth is I don't. I'm continuously learning. When I go and make a mistake, as we as humans do, I beat myself up and receive disapproval from others. I'm beginning to accept my own company and call most people "fake people."
😊 same here. Hope you're ok
Right? I think the first day I moved in my neighbor was already being nice and to me that's a red flag she was like, "Let me know if you need anything like sugar?" From that day she wouldn't leave me alone. I thought I'll give it a try and every conversation we had was, "Yeah that neighbor is a hermit..." Or "The neighbor is on drugs." She would never even talk about herlsef then I would give in...etc etc etc and tell too much info and it got to the point she wasn't even listening. I told her something that was bothering me and she just completely ignored what I had to say and started talking about hersef, she drove us high to Disneyland and works there. Total moron! Or she's like, "just to let you know our apartment complex is doing bed bug checks." It's like I don't care lady I don't need to know any of that stuff..." and she was just incapable of having the non chit chat real conversations so I finally told her to leave me alone. I talked to one co worker and we really got along and were talking about things that mattered but managment wouldn't allow that and so she fired her (she had ADHD) and of course they don't care nor take that into consideration. So stupid but yes i hate living in a fake world and i"m just myself. I also love trolling people to because they are so nosy. "Who's that?" One lady from my apartment building said. I should have said, "Your mama...so yes stop being so nosy. Was your mama nosy to? Yes? Okay move along and worry about yourself this is why you're like your mama." So rude. But it's that type of behavior I don't want to be around.
Being alone is never about being lonely for me. I chose to be alone b/c I enjoy my own company infinitely more than I do the company of others, especially the liars, back stabbers, gossipers, opportunists, social climbers etc., that took everything from me and left when I no longer served their purposes. Now, I'm blissful that I nurture my introversion without being ashamed of it. You are the only person that you will be with every single day of your life for the rest of your life, so you better learn to like yourself! 😄
I wouldn’t say I’m happy being alone/like this but I feel safer being alone. I’ve been lied to, manipulated and abused by most people in my life so being alone means I don’t get hurt anymore. I can’t afford to pay someone to “fix” me so I fit into the societal norm.
I hear you and feel you loud and clear
"Dta" Don't trust anybody"
Wow how did u handle that
@@dennismclaurin1487ditto
Does family ever pressure you over children/family legacy?
I love being by myself & am easily irritated by others. I dislike loud people also & prefer to go out by myself or stay home. Have been called 'weird' by people at times including by members of my own family but it's just who I am. I hate attention & am happy with my life the way it is but others seem to disbelieve this.
i always say, i prefer to be weird, normal people scare me.
DITTO 💯!!!
You sound like you are describing me to the letter.
Same , the perfect day for me would be for me to be in my room with my headphones on listening to my favorite music all day, taking a long ride on my motorcycle, walking my dogs or just staying home. My dad who recently passed away was my best friend and so is my girlfriend of 10 years..I'm not a hateful person and I don't consider myself better than anyone else, but I just prefer to be by myself. Sometimes I do feel that I'm a bit too boring for other people to be around me because I don't have a whole lot to talk about (no social media, not traveling all over, no big career) however ; I do enjoy meaningful conversations and do consider myself a kind person ..alot of times I feel like people constantly need to be stimulated with drama/gossip or by going places alot and partying or acting foolish..alot of people are just not consistent and seem to be happy to see you one day and ignore you or act differently the next time they see you or sometimes you find out that they talk bad about you when you aren't around them or they use you/take advantage of your kindness. Ehh, in my opinion; if you have one or two close people in your life, than you will be fine and if you only have yourself; you will also be fine , just appreciate the moment and you will be happy
Same!
Married for 19yrs 1st, next married for 17yrs, and I am living alone now. Never been by myself, a lot of things changed when I was by myself. I cook better, I clean a lot, I do not like clutter, I love being by myself, it is truly awesome. I can't stress it enough. I'm happy. 65yrs old and loving it.
Also 65. Alone. It’s just got to be this way. I seem to atteact preditors. Being alone is working. People mostly disgust me. I prefer trees. No apologies.
Nice.
@@rs5570 I hear you! I prefer dogs and bicycles.
Amen 👍 love being me😊
Happy geezers - losers . Why are you telling me you're happy ? What for do you need confirmation ?!
I found the more I try to make friends the more I prefer to be by myself
The older I get,I’m 62,
I’ve experienced all of these things over the years.
I prefer to keep people at a distance.
I’ve been hurt so many times by people I thought were friends,and my extended family too.
I just have my immediate family,who I can always count on.
I'll be this age in 3w
We have things in common
I am retired, single, no children. My elderly mother still asks me if I was lonely or wanted to pair up. I told her if I wanted to live with people I would have gone thru the road most taken decades ago. I am content being by myself without a great desire for social interaction.
I am single and have been my whole life because I hate how most people are in every aspect they seem to be very oblivious to how I feel even if they seem okay, it seems like it's only to get something out of me, I hate being around people at dismiss my feelings and just focus on them self all the time
@@dark7angel456 You hate how most people are in every aspect? Jesus. Most people have intuition, even if they can’t explain it. And if you think most people deplorable in every aspect, they can sense that too. I hope you find enjoyment in human interaction at some point. I have encountered very few truly vile people. Once you see it, avoid them, most of us are just fine though.
@@michaelharvest931 alot of people i have encountered are the worst types. I enjoy some people. But i can never confide and havent much found a best friend yet.
@@dark7angel456 Sorry to hear that, but I will say there are very few people in life you can truly trust/confide in. They are super rare to find! Good luck dark angel, keep looking for a best friend. It’ll be worth it 😊
@@michaelharvest931 thank you for the kind words. Which are rarely spoken to me. Or heard. But the rare time i do like to be around people. I shouldn't if said i hate everyone i dont. Just haven't been around many empathic people.
I don't mind some people. I just don't want to be around people who drink, smoke, do drugs, loud, curse like a sailor, people who are rude, obnoxious, people that constantly moan, complain and act like ass. So that eliminates 80%
Agreed. Just not worth the effort in the long run…
90%
i drink and smoke, but i would like me as a friend!
@@arleneirvine1526 when I say drink I mean uncontrollable.
As a smoker, pot smoker, and drinker, I get it. A lot of smokers stink and can't seem to keep their hands off of a cigarette for more than 20 minutes. A lot of pot smokers make it their entire identity. And a lot of drinkers become loud and obnoxious when they get pretty tipsy or drunk.
Luckily I do none of those though. I can keep off of smoking for an hour or two no problem, and always do it away from others if they show even a slight indication of not liking it. I pretty much keep my pot smoking to myself unless the topic specifically gets brought up by others. And I only really drink once a week, stop before I truly get drunk, and just become more sociable. Not really loud or obnoxious.
But yea, I wouldn't want to be friends with most pot smokers and drinkers either... (smokers is eh whatever to me)
As an introvert, it’s taken me years to accept who I am. I always used to find it so painfully difficult when it came to being an upbeat, chatty person. I would be so drained to the point where my muscles would ache.
I just think that people have no right to make you feel bad about your quiet personality. Nor they should make it seem so obvious that they are bored to be in your presence. It’s not like we introverts tell the extroverts how boring they are to us 🙃
The point is, don’t force conversations, friendships or relationships just to please people. The right ones will come and it will feel like a breeze!
Wanna make an Introvert babe
👌🏻👌🏻
Most people are alot of work, complicated, insensitive, self-centered, opinionated, unfeeling, lack compassion, and lack empathy. Just feel sorry for them and do not internalize their problems . Just be yourself and be proud of yourself and who you are.
Exactly introverts just know who to feel comfortable talking to with when the time comes.
😊😊😊
I like keeping to myself because I’m surrounded in a world of fake people
I enjoy being alone. I like my own company. I'm alone, but not lonely. People have a hard time understanding this.
why people have a hard time understanding this?
Not me.
Im not alone but i feel lonely i just dont like people i dont know
I am 95% introvert. People make me tired and bored at times. I love spending time creating my Art and more.
Yes, people can be very draining! I prefer being alone, with a good book, a warm blanket and my 3 cats, and a cup of hot tea! Life is good! 🥰🌲🌄🌲⚓⛵🌅⛵⚓🐈⬛🐈🐈🇩🇪🇨🇭🇺🇲
@@daren7889 me too
@@ladyinthepink9865 I totally agree with you! We might both be EMPATHS! We basically pick up people's energy and that can be very draining! 🤔🤔🤔🇩🇪🇨🇭🇺🇲💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
Me too, being alone is a lot more fun and I like thinking, making art, playing video games, reading and more.
I love writing books, watch movies and singing songs. I like people but it started with siblings when they see you meek and humble they start to argue, then to socialize with other people outside seeing you gentle, they laugh at you! Being judgmental! And even wanted to take advantage of a meek person so I think being alone sometimes is full of peace and as the old said you can make yourself happy, don't depend on people. I think it works!!
I’m an introvert. I talk a lot, but to myself .
I read somewhere that people who talk to themselves are very smart. I had an operation recently and the surgeon was talking to himself or in the drugged state I was in I thought he was...it was very comforting to me.
Being an empath makes it difficult because I pick up others feelings. I enjoy my own company 😊
Facts
Same
yeah
"...Do you find yourself happier when you're not around people? If so, you're definitely not alone." 😑😑😑
I used to be outgoing and loved being around people. I was a nurse for 30 years. Now, I prefer my own company and avoid social interaction daily. Also, I have gotten much older and find that people listen to respond instead of listening to understand. I also find people so judgemental about everybody and everything. No one can agree to disagree. That's why I love being alone.
And they’re mean about it. I can’t tell you how many times I will say I politely agree to disagree & they unleash a tirade of insults & laugh at me. It’s sad how far & evil society has fallen.
@kim Warner, absolutely 💯
" people listen to respond instead of listening to understand" I really like that statement and that was most evident after my second parent passed away. They were the people most to listen and not judge. I had a friend I made six years ago and we would talk all the time, until we got to know each other extremely well. Now when I talk to him he tells me what I like and what I don't, and it's like he psychoanalyzes me, but he's usually wrong. So now I just avoid him, because if he isn't bad wrapping someone else, he just brings me down. I have one friend left from long ago, that we can talk, joke, and disagree. But we never get uptight, because we're able to change the subject anytime. All my life it was easy to make friends, and I like talking to people. I can learn from strangers, but when we're done talking I always say something nice, to them, tell them a joke, or something, wish them a good evening, and leave them feeling good. No negative energy. Besides a little philosophy, being nice is all I can offer
Am as much a loner as I can manage being married. I found the 'people listening to react vs people listening to understand' statement to be spot on. I'm ashamed but must admit I've been guilty of the first part. But then, I've also done the second part. Now I know what to encourage or discourage in myself, so thanks for that teaching.
Retired nurse too. Love my alone time. People, don't let anyone tell you have a dysfunction, or are weird. I find it exhausting to be around self absorbed people, who always need attention.
Strangers are potential enemies not friends until they prove otherwise.
I don't mind being around people as long as I know them. Too many strangers around me makes me feel uncomfortable due to my social anxiety. I actually like my own company and being by myself is when I'm the most relaxed and comfortable.
“Do you like being alone? If so you’re not alone.” Lmao.
Best comment by far
🤣💀🤦
Lol
Yep.
That's freaking funny !!
I remember trying to be outgoing in high school. It never worked out and i felt like such a phony. Introverts in an extroverted world are often made to feel there is something wrong with them. I read a book called "Quiet" by Susan Cain and it validated who i was and that there was nothing wrong with it. My pets help immensely and i know that i am never truly alone because God is with me.
Introverts are likely more intelligent. The person in the corner not saying anything probably has the answer. I read Ms. Cain’s book. Society does not value introverts like they do extroverts. That is a mistake.
i wonder how many extroverts are actually being authentic though , thats hard to measure but id imagine its not a large portion .
I love this, You are right . We are truly never alone. Thank you ❤
I am a 100% extrovert and most of my friends are introverts and my husband is an introvert. I moved from Co. out to Va. and one of my closest married introvert friends, of 38 years, is moving out here with her husband so we can stay close to each other. My husband and me talk all the time and we totally balance each other. I had a bf before my husband that told me it was never easier to talk with someone and he actually was surprised at how much he talked around me. The balance between an introvert and extrovert can be very satisfying.
@@rottweilerventuresregister7293 i agree. If everyone was an introvert like me, life would be boring.
"You build a wall around yourself."
"You push people away."
I just like being by myself.
I’m an introvert and I dislike small talk, loud people and fakeness
I remember my low self esteem years,when people’s opinions mattered,made me sick to my stomach. Then I realized Their opinion was a reflection of who they were, based only on their personal experiences, good/bad. Nothing to do with who I was. That day, in my book, they lost the power/right to judge I thought they had. Changed my life.
Yes especially when you realize you can’t change how they think or feel about you nor is it your job to. Plus their opinions don’t matter anyways
Very relatable… I ruined my twenties trying to fit in with people that weren’t good to be around. Peace is a beautiful thing once you get rid of toxic people, behaviors and thoughts.
Yes! They have no right to make you feel that way. The problem is with them, not you
💓💓💓
You broke free of conservativism. Congrats!
I love the statement I once read somewhere that said The more I get to know some people the more I like my dog. That doesn't just apply to dogs but ALL pets in general.
Socializing with dogs is much more enjoyable. I leave feeling so uplifted! People...well that all depends on the individual.
I too prefer the company of my animals. Their love, friendship and companionship seem more genuine and sincere.
Of course dogs and cats can and do have issues with each other as well! 😄
Me too
@@infjfemale200
Very true
I'm a very friendly, talkative person. People I don't know, are friends I just haven't made yet. But I honestly prefer time to myself. Reading, taking walks, watching shows exc... without interruption or feeling like I have to entertain or take care of others.
I can relate! I have a bubbly and warm personality, but I mostly prefer spending time on my own.
I think most people are afraid to be alone with themselves. It can feel lonely at times but for the most part it is the best way to live. As for intelligent people wanting to be alone, part of this is not wanting to listen to the banal, meaningless discourse others engage in.
I'm not shy or quiet in public. I can easily talk to anyone or speak in front of a crowd. I just prefer being alone because I totally enjoy living in my own head.
Thats not good...living in your own head is a recipie to develop anxiety. You need to practice living outside your head, in the present moment - thats the only reality. Inside your head you dwell on the past and future way too much.
@@donkey3187 bro shut up. Talking your a$$ off isn’t too good. We live to stay quiet and away from irritable people like you. I don’t care about most people and for great reason. They’re not smart. That’s the main one
Are you a maladaptive daydreamer? I am.
@@evalehde3869 Didn't know it had a name till I looked it up. It does help me escape the endless 'what ifs'. I'm 67 now & not going to change, but I think a younger person may want to live life in the moment & consider addressing it. Not sure. I've always been quite happy in the latest head story. LOL.
@@Bess9779 same.. I’m 61 and about a year ago I just googled, “excessive daydreaming” and stumbled on the work of Eli Somer. It was good to know I’m not the only one in the world. Not likely to change for me either.
Didn't have a problem being around people when I was younger but as I got older and more experiances with people and from what I see all around, I became all too aware of how shallow, materialistic, overly sensitive, self centered too many people are and ultimately brought unnecessary nor desired B.S. and pain into my life, I reached a point I didn't have a desire to have so called friends or even aquaintenses in my life anymore. Its been some 20 years now and I can say my life has been soooo much better. All I have and nead is my family.
100% true, but I don't have real family which I can feel connected tbh
Here to Stay! Can't bear people only a selection few 🇬🇧
Agree and I feel the exact same.
The more i learn about people,the more i like my dog- Mark Twain
I'm an introvert with a learning disability and also my mom has a habit of interrupting me and dominating conversations, not letting me get a word in. Tried talking to her about it and she gets defensive. Also, I have trust issues with people's possible true intentions. I've had people pretend to be my friend only to use me to hurt people I care about and then I lose that real friend because I appeared to be involved in the prank. I'm okay though because I have a cat who never leaves me alone. 😸
Yup my mom is similar to your mom but she's West African I hate it
Be yourself. Alone is fine...conforming is a drain on your spirit. Just treat others well.
Yes right.
Yeah, but human beings are social beings by nature and studies show people are healthier and happier with a least one or two good relationships. I get that some like to be alone more than others...nothing wrong with that. But always being alone with zero relationships screams disfunction, social anxiety, and unhappiness at some level.
Rom.12:2
I don't like conforming to the herd mentality, really draining on my spirit.
Nobody treats me well because I am a foreigner...
Honestly, people are exhausting. I need my quiet time alone to recuperate.
Chronic neck and back pains makes one stay away FROM TOXIC people..pains 24 hrs day drains you..
When I'm around people I always put up a facade -- I can't really be myself and must always hide what I'm really thinking and feeling. This exhausts me.
I was bullied horribly when I was younger. I have no desire to be in crowds, have no friends and even have a job where I work alone for the majority of each shift. The only reason I leave the house is work and/or having to shop. And that is just fine by me. I can relate to at least three items on this list.
So was I. Writing about really helps. Going to a shrink can be helpful, but writing is something you can do for free. Trust me, it will help. Good luck. You are worth it.
I am sorry. Human beings can be so horrible. But good ones are out there. I hope things are better for you now and that you’re happy.
@@Sunflowermeadows777 I'm happy alone. When I try to be social, that's when I'm depressed, unhappy and just want to get away.
wow thanks for sharing, that hit close to home
Be sure you’re not alone. A lot of people have similar experiences.
I consider myself an extreme introvert, if not only for my job maybe I can go for weeks or months without human interaction and the fact that I live alone for years, a keen observer and seen how other humans behave Ive choose to set aside myself and isolate most of the time enjoying my own company...a "modern day hermit" in other words 😁
same.
You described me perfectly!
I always tell people if I were the last person on earth…I would be OK🙂
@@suecleveland3226well only us can understand each other 😁 and one more thing, we do hate physical interactions but we're out and loud online 😂
Here here. Me too I am my happiest alone. I love to entertain myself.
I'm a loner. I love being alone. I'm an introvert. I know how to socialize well. I stopped hanging out because I realized that I don't have friends that would come pick me up to hang out. All my friends always want me to drive or come pick them up. The one friend who doesn't have a car or job, always trying to hang out with me. I don't understand. I just want a friend who will call me and tell me to get dressed and they're about to come pick me up to hang out. All I get is "pull up on me bro"
I don’t like to be in the spotlight. People don’t get that I am affected by other people’s energy. I am not good at small talk. I have a sister that loves to be in the spotlight. She puts herself out front, every chance she gets.
I feel more at peace when I’m by myself. I enjoy being alone. Most people are draining, some are okay.
I have my own way of thinking and I am confident about that.Therefore,I prefer being alone most of the time.😇
Good for you ☺️
Same way
Same here
Ditto
Yes, we have a different thought process that most do not understand.
“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.” ― Arthur Schopenhauer, Essays and Aphorisms
The author of that expression has not lied.
Being alone is the good, it gives you opportunity to think for yourself.
This video is amazing!!! I'm an introvert & I have MAJOR trust issues. I have endured a LOT of trauma, bullying & slander. I have had people lie on me & litterally try to ruin my life. I've been labeled "antisocial", "snooty", "rude" "mean", "stuck up", "prissy" & "hateful" for not being a people person, for not immediately liking people & for saying "NO" & setting boundaries. In addition, I find most people to be boring, unintelligent & fake. From what I have experienced most people are users, abusers, narcs, ego-maniacs, back stabbers, gossipers, draining, controlling, pushy, aggressive, cruel & sociopathic. The more I get to know people the less I like them. I deal with people as little as possible, I'm civil to people, but deep down I really don't like them. I adore animals & prefer to be around my pets ❤️ the hobbies I have are hobbies that don't include others. I am happiest & most comfortable when I am completely alone. I feel there is nothing wrong with me being a loner, it keeps the drama & bs that people bring at bay. I will never conform to what others think I should be & I will never apologize for being myself.
Good for you. After a lifetime of "people pleasing" (even though I've never liked humans and intentionally did not reproduce them), I have come to the same conclusion, which keeps being reinforced in real time with ongoing volunteer work and neighbors.
Too much selfishness and narcissism and drama for my taste.
You sound like an infj which I am. I completely agree with every single word you typed and have had the exact same experience with life. I'm 47 and old enough now to where I just don't care whatsoever about what all those types of people think about me.
Your post is exactly my experience.
@@johnnycorn7225 oh wow.....actually I took the personality test & it said I was an INTJ 🤷🏻♀️
@@lovelystarchild yup pretty close, I knew it
Exactly!!!! I love animals Soo much too. They are the only reason I have love in my heart anymore.
I’m 52 yrs. Old and have never enjoyed being in social situations, with the exception of being with a significant other. It’s ok to feel this way; you may never change and that’s ok; that’s you. Don’t ever feel that there’s something wrong with you. It’s who you are and who you should allow yourself to be. Be happy and don’t try to fit into someone else’s idea of normal. A lot of people can’t stand to be alone with themselves.
I’m loud and not shy but I get completely drained by being around too many people for too long a time. I see my friends one by one or two at a time at the most. I don’t like being in groups. Sometimes I have to cut my Saturday errand day short because after the mall, the grocery store and the pharmacy, I’ve had it with people and traffic and want to be alone!!!!!!
There’s a difference between being lonely and being alone. I would choose solitude any day in any situation over socialising. I absolutely LOVE being alone and I don’t fit into society because of this. I’ve not stayed in contact with any of my friends from school but they haven’t stayed in contact with me either. Contact works both ways. I think it’s a lot worse to be in a group of people and feel lonely than it is to actually be alone and be happy. If you choose to be alone, that doesn’t automatically mean there’s something wrong with you. In fact, there’s something wrong wit( society that judges people who don’t have friends or the desire to have friends. Makes me skin crawl when I hear people say humans are social beings because some of us are not. That doesn’t make us less human, just more independent.
There is a big difference between social avoidance and be happy to be yourself and enjoying doing your own thing. People who like to be alone don't necessarily have all these fears, it's a fallacy. Some might but many just love their independence and don't enjoy small talk, or superficiality. When we meet people who are healthy we are happy to interact ✌
There are both...there are a lot of people who are miserable and lonely due to their social anxiety.
Many though try to rationalize social anxiety with "thats just how I am". Most people are healthier and happier with at least one or two close relationships in their life to share life with.
Stated to perfection!
I agree. I don't like superficiality at all. I can talk endlessly with people who aren't egocentric.
How you know someone is safe though ?Men I mean ? Everyone got tats everyone is weird in public seriously I'm not shy either I'm in Texas homophobia central and Spanish speaking ignorant Mexicans .
As an introvert, I find most conversations boring. I stopped watching television a couple of years ago and have never looked back. Too much politics in everything nowadays. I have friends, but they are all deep thinkers and have no interest in keeping up with the latest trends, topics, and modern gadgets. We smoke pipes, read books, write stories, have meaningful discussions, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Some of my friends have their own hobbies, but we always manage to converse about our differences in a calm and meaningful way. For example, I collect pocket watches, and one of my friends collects model trains. We have different hobbies, but are able to converse about our differences while being united by what we have in common. Whatever your hobby is, chances are you're not alone. If you're having trouble socializing, start with your hobbies, as I'm sure you'll be able to find some like-minded people.
Lucky you! I never had any friends with whom to share my true self. Sometimes I feel lonely, but that's life
@@user-vl9ui2us4x man, solitude is heaven.
Im 62 and im finding out that i enjoy my alone time as im getting older i dont care what people have to say ive never been happier in my life. Im learning as i get older i dont need people around me.
I've grown indifferent to the nonsense many in society tend to gravitate to. I simply choose not to participate.
I've been around psychologists, I've been around psych patients in their care, and have not known a single person that _'therapy'_ ever helped. Usually, the _contrary_ took place and they became drugged-out zombies. You don't need 'therapy' if you prefer solitude, peace and quiet as opposed to raucous, pushy, rude, thoughtless, inconsiderate people with no self-awareness or self-discipline. _You just need distance from them._
Exactly Carl good of you to post your experience it has been the same with me thank you all the best in this life
I used to go to therapy for my manic depression. I was prescribed pills that were said to help my mental well-being. I took one.I slept long. That was it. The prescribed dose was low(5 mg.)
She wanted to up the dose. I never took anymore pills. She believed that the pills would help me see the world in a better way and light. I believe I see the world exactly as it is. That helped me deal with the adversities I face daily Pills aren't going to stop people from reacting negatively to my hideous, pathetic appearance, which I began noticing, after getting sick from kissing a prostitute in 1983. God knows I have a story to tell. Prov.7, beginning in verse 6, is like reading about myself in 1983.What led me in that path, is a whole other story, which I believe dates back to 1969, when I was young, innocent, and most vulnerable. I remember another incident from the same cousin several years later
@luckystar4370exactly. This is the true therapy
Most other people just bug the shit out of me. Not everybody, but I choose to be alone most of the time because the odds of coming across those people increase with every passing day. Nothing personal… it is what it is. Some folks I really love, but they are few and far between.
"I like individuals...but I HATE people!" :P Seriously though same here. So many adults seem so...immature or just dumb. I know it's probably not true from an outside perspective, but that's how most people come across to me. I find I can more often get along with older teens and young adults (age 16~22), but I'm at that age now where I'm having a hard time keeping up with the young crowd anymore, so that's slowly going out the window too. ^^;;
@@Sanquinity And they say as one gets older, they get wiser. I find that to be an understatement. You really hit the nail on the head when you pointed out that many adults are dumb. That manifests itself in more ways than one.
I like some people...not many though
I need that on a t shirt : people bug the shit out of me,nothin personal 🙌🏼.
I have one which reads ' want coffee,not your opinion'.I wear that AND my scowl face and somehow people still dont seem to get the message 🤔. Am 40 and divorced but got no cats.Maybe people will leave me alone if I get cats? Then I will be the complete ' grumpy old woman with cats ' 🤔 I hope that chases people away 🤞🏽
@@sadia2395 Got one myself that says "I'm responsible for what I say, not for what YOU understand." Since people LOVE misinterpreting what you say and assuming the worst possibility for some reason.
I enjoy my own company. people are so needy. it is like a joy suck. I enjoy spending time making stuff rather than spending it with people who drain me.
Many people intentionally set out to hurt others. We have to guard our hearts. 💕
If you think demons and warlocks can’t hop from person to person in our Godless culture, you haven’t been around for long.
This resonates with me on every level. I don't need people or their validation which is why I have never been or ever will be lonely.
You nailed it....validation. Most need attention to feel important. I have never needed others to feed my self esteem. That comes from within.
That's it. I was married for 19 years and was still alone. I prefer my own company most of the time, yet I do have a large group of good friends. I can entertain myself for hours or days. Always building or planning something. Most people bore me. I dont like to waste time.
I guess an important lesson to learn from this is to not force anything, friendships, relationships etc. Don’t force it, otherwise it’ll just come across as phony.
true...that is what i have learnt recently...
I had a nice social life when I was younger. I had kids, but I’ve never been married and haven’t dated since I was 33 (I’m 48). I’m finally living my life the way I want and not the way society expects. People suck the life out of me. They say too much alone time is bad, but I disagree. I could never talk to another human ever again (besides my family) and be just fine. This world is full of mental illness. People are so shallow and fake. People are so self absorbed, it’s boring and annoying. I love coming home from work, throwing on my pjs, not worried what I look like or having to cater to anyone. I don’t have to worry about being cheated on while constantly being accused of it. Peace is the most beautiful thing in the world and I’m grateful I finally have that. Everyone thinks I’m sad and withdrawn. Never been happier.
I'm just fine with myself. Thanks. Even my door mat outside my front door says " Please go away..Seriously "
In the words of Jean-Paul Sartre, "If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company".
Was he talking about Paul Rodgers?
@@9Ballr Jean-Paul Sartre was born June 21, 1905 in Paris, France-died April 15, 1980. He was a French philosopher, novelist, and playwright. He was also a key figure in the existentialism philosophical movement.
I like being alone because I’m no longer suicidal and I can finally be around myself without hurting myself
Thank goodness for that.
I live on 13 acres in the middle of the woods in the middle of nowhere 45 mins away from any big city and down a quarter mile driveway, and still, people, bank personnel, random cars or NPCs, utility personnel, mail lady trying to get me to sign something that has nothing to do with me, someone is always bothering me at least once a day for the part 2 years. It’s almost like some group knows when you go off grid and makes a point to prove to you that you can never be left alone. I can confirm one of the best feelings in the world is being left the heck alone. People nowadays are glued to their phones, demand immediate contact when they want it, and are just plain needy as hell.
Whenever somone talks to me, I get easily annoyed and irritated, but at the ame time I want friends because there's nobody who actually likes me or spends time with me, so that's probably why I don't know how to socialize and get easily annoyed and irritated. I also don't want to run the chance of getting backstabbed or having fake friends.
Being with lots of people just drain me and I don't know why. Even if I don't interact with them it still drain my energy. Like if I go to a grocery store where there's usually lots of people, when I go home I feel so tired. Or even when I'm hanging out with friends, I might be energetic at first but later on I would feel tired and would need to stay quiet to recharge my energy. 😅
It doesn't disrupt my daily life, it's just that I get more tired with other people.
I love engaging with other people when taking a walk or in a public place; I find that after a few hours, I am exhausted as well.
However, I get uplifted when I interact with dogs while on my walk.
You have described me, almost exactly. 🙂
I feel the same. And besides, one thing that really makes me feel depleted is a small talk. If i hear chatting of this kind, my energy level shrinks just with the speed of free fall. It's like a torture for me to shove myself into this kind of interaction.
You sound very much how I am. If you haven’t yet, may I suggest that you take the Myers-Briggs personality test. You can find this on sites such as 16 personalities. Five years ago I took it and discovered that I am an INFJ personality type. Everything made so much more sense after discovering this.
I highly recommend everyone take the test, especially more introverted people.
Omgggosssh sameee!!!! I get so exhausted mentally and emotionally from people especially at work. Or even on transit where there’s people .. I just don’t like being in their presence.
I get energized with my bf and sister tho but everyone else drains me to no end. I wonder why we are so sensitive to their energy
You missed one reason why to avoid people and that is i just don't like people. I am very social at work and in public but when I'm at home I just want to be left alone
In other words you get plenty of social contact during your day.
Exactly same here..
I don't have any of the mental issues (eh... as far as I know, anyway) or higher intelligence (heheh - definitely not) or any of that. I just prefer not being around other people other than my own family. The part in the video about being drained when being around others is so true. The thought of having to go to gatherings, parties etc causes me great anxiety, and if I'm forced or obligated to go, I'm ready to leave after like 10 or 15 minutes.
Too many people in the world have trauma and insecurities, but instead of working on themselves they make their insecurities your responsibility and get triggered when you set boundaries.
I have enough trauma of my own, I am barely hanging on, I don’t have the capacity to take on someone else’s trauma too.
I feel exactly the same.
I hate how society makes "shy" people look as if there is something wrong with them. Especially shy kids. If anything shyness should be treated as a virtue. Shyness means you're innocent and pure and that's VERY rare in this cruel world we live in today so I've learned to embrace it and I'm proud of being introverted. I don't need to explain myself to anyone!
We all answer to God.
Being an introvert doesn't mean you're shy
I’m shy and don’t like being around people for too long.
And hell we’re not even shy
i love my life now. i am retired. i dont have to go out into the world to make a wage. i dont have to battle evil co workers who just cant seem to leave someone alone to do their job. me and hubby made it thru. we are retired. Praise be! hes more social but lately hes been realizing how lovely our privacy is. how we can go back to bed every morning.we set our own hours. the grown children and grands and great grands come over. that is more than enough visitng for us.
I've always said animals are better than ppl. They just love you and there's no facade to it. I have a close circle of family and a few friends and I am perfectly happy with that. After work, I'm so glad to get away from people for a while. Too much drama, imo
"I like people in short bursts, I don't like people for extended periods of time"
- George Carlin
As a child,the bulk of the attention I received from my parents was in the form of yelling and threats. Never any praise,no,”we’re proud of you!”,never even a simple “I love you.” Not once. Those who society tells you you can trust have been anything but trustworthy,so yeah,I have “trust issues”.
I recently went through a very difficult situation and had to do it alone,not because I have no friends,I do and they’re a VERY small group. It was because I was isolated far from home,and those I thought I could trust turned their backs on me when I was no longer of any use to them.
As I said,I have a very small group of friends who I can trust implicitly,but all in all I prefer the company of my dog to that of anyone else.
Before investing too much time in a person. Observe them around different situations. Eventually they will show you who they truly are. Then decide whether they are a keeper or to just let them go.
I too can relate to a lot of what you went through. My brother and I were Emotionally Neglected by our parents. My mom worked all the time because my dad was an alcoholic. My parents were too busy fighting with each other all the time. Not much love in our household. My brother and I are doing our best to walk the path of life. Some days are good...others, well you know. Take care all and know there is someone who loves all of you and wishes only the best for you in your lives. Take care. Cheers
Your parents sound like narcissists and you may be the family scapegoat. Look it up on RUclips, it may speak to your trauma.
I know the feeling.
I’m so sorry. I know how that goes but I went no contact with the thing that gave birth to me and that entire side of the family as soon as I could. My da sheltered me as much as he could, even putting in the divorce papers that all Holidays from school were his and my grandparents. I don’t even know if my egg donour is alive.
As a child I was constantly bullied in school which led to my low self esteem and to become an introvert. I do have very few friends that I know I can trust, but still I've become so accustomed to being alone that I prefer it. It's so true being around people just drains me physically and emotionally. When I'm alone I feel happy and super charged !!! ☺️
A pet will love you always and they are great company ❤
That’s my story , also .
I’m very easy to get along with but hard to become friends with. That’s why most of my friendships are only surface level. I find it hard to be myself around others out of fear or rejection because there’s been times I have tried to get involved in social interactions and just got ignored so I don’t see the point anymore. Most people also want to constantly gossip about other people which doesn’t interest me. I would rather them talk about their own interests instead of bitching about another colleague or friend to me. I only have one very close friend I can be 100% myself around!
shallow friendship everywhere, so thats why we need to be friend with ourselves first!
For me, it's me because people suck and are disappointing. I love and respect animals more than 99% of people. Me and my husband are total homebodies.
For me, it's that I'm an introvert, I've had social anxiety from as far back as I can remember, cptsd from traumatic experiences and alot of trust issues, low self esteem etc it's always nice when you can find someone who relates and /at least understands and doesn't criticize for needing time alone.. Thanks for the video!!!!
I feel ya and it's all real....recently I got some peace...just too exhausted to give a damn. And it was great to relax even from exhaustion
I had a wife for 30 years we stood by each other through thick and thin then one day she simply said. I dont love you any more and im leaving. Now all i have for a friend is my beagle. Its somthing you never get over no matter how much time passes and you beat yourself up non stop wondering what you could have done to change things
@@richardclintonjonesjones1807 Stop beating yourself up. She was the one who left. You can't control what other people do. It's hard enough controlling our own actions.
I can relate, but social anxiety, like any anxiety, isnt healthy for you. You need to work on geting to meett people on some level. Avoidance just make the anxiety stronger.
I'm a very social and enjoy interacting with other people. However, I would prefer to be alone. I don't have to feed my ego nor do I play head games. So many people these days are self-serving and insecure. I'm happier without the distractions that keep me from creating my artwork and/or finding inner peace. But, I'm only one voice.
Me too.
Absolutely right 👍
Definitely an ego and mind games with some people...
ur not alone about this
I am socially isolated and have not been part of a social herd since 2000. I can not give up all the freedom, independence, self-reliance, knowledge, and simplicity, I have gained by being socially isolated, to just find the modern version of what a, "friend," is. A modern, "friend," is just a low level invader that has entered your life and is waiting for you to show weakness so they may lunge at the opportunity to take advantage of you when you are down. It is unlikely I will ever have a friend, nor a girlfriend, again. I learned from my painful experience. Nobody today can be a true friend to those that are rather withdrawn to start. We are looked upon like freaks. Social people and reclusive people should never mix. Other than the species they all happen to be, they share nothing in common.
Im 55, i NEVER, EVER feel lonely. i just prefer my own company, i dont talk myself to death. 😊
Too many people trying to put you down
Introvert, I love being on my own, I enjoy my own company. Blessed be. ♥️♥️♥️
I had an extremely abusive childhood, that went on all through my life! I have experienced relentless abuse, bullying, gaslighting, cruelty and criticism by my evil mother! This has left me with all sorts of horrifying results, like learning difficulties, a total lack of self belief and confidence - I am now 63 years old and still learning about Adverse Childhood Abuse. I'm actually having to teach myself not to trust other people! As I never learned who to trust and not to trust.
I'm sorry you went through that hopefully things will look up for you
Sorry you had to go through but even though evil exists the world can be beautiful. Continue to know that you are special and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
My mother wasn't purposely abusive but Obsessive/Compulsive and a very nervous person with self esteem issues. She unwittingly taught low confidence to all her children.
It has been tough to overcome and become my own nurturing parent. I am slowly coming to trust what I see and have the confidence to walk away.
I'm your age.
ITS HARD TO FIND TRUSTWORTHY PEOPLE LIKE MY FRIENDS IN NEBRASKA MAI & JAKE
Me-#7 and #8 for sure...and #9 and #10
The big thing is please stop caring what others think of you. And start caring what you think of you.
💯👏🏽💯👏🏽
I've gone from introvert to extrovert and back to introvert. Most people (98%) don't add anything positive to my life. If anything, they add negative.
I don't get lonely, but I'm dying for meaningful conversations. I have come to the conclusion they're not to be had anymore.
My definition of friends is different from theirs, they're your friend as long as they can get something from you. It's not mutual.
I do just fine by myself and get a lot more done. I don't know if I still even like people.
it would be a lovely thing to have a meaning ful conversation with someone!
sure they are..go into discussion boards online...lots of people like to talk about lots of subjects
Well stated and described exactly the way I feel.
I finally got tried of betrayal and deception; I lost trust and it's gone until I am.
But still , to be introvert and extravert is even possible.
@@Tweedewoning It is possible to do.
In my observations I find that many people are impatient, have short attention spans, and only care about what youre saying if it benefits them. That being said, I am grateful when I encounter someone who doesn't possess these traits, and I'm likely to either befriend them or remember them because they stood out.
That's so true!!! and you really have to be careful of the company you keep!!! Not everyone has your best interest at heart!!!
Exactly. It killed my soul a little every time I was mid sentence & the other person just looked over me, to the side or interrupted me . Makes one feel very small. So now, it’s my husband, my dogs & a small circle of friends. No more self impressed, arrogant loud people, family or not. Buh bye…lol
@@tangela0725 they take our good hearts & see it as a weakness, I found out the hard way as well. I help animal shelters now, that’s it.
@@kimwarner1681 They sure do!!! and I really don't blame you either!!!
@@kimwarner1681 Amen!!!
Having a pet is better then having judgemental friends who only care about themselves and not what u think about or what YOU want to do but pets, they never judge you for your appearance or what you do and u can tell pets your secrets since u know they will never tell anyone even if they can't understand u because telling real friends your secrets, you know they will always tell others..... And yet people ask me "why do you have trust issues?" because even if I ever told them, they would never understand me............
Humans range from mundane to pernicious with only a few rare exceptions. Furthermore, people tend to be so narcissistic and anthropocentric that a desire for solitude is often perceived as somehow pathological. So, when it comes to friends, quality supersedes quantity.
This video really drove home the point that we all can't be people person's.
Michael Clark, I used to be a people person but not anymore. I get so drained being around people. It maybe cause I'm younger now ( 61 ) 😂.