Me too I don't trust people easily but I don't be rude too I just smile . It takes time for me to give trust to someone . But when I give I will stay loyal till the end . But if they break it I will forgive them . May sound like a Saint. 😂😂😂but that's how I am I don't like to keep hard feelings like hate and hurt someone ., if I do I become tired than that being kind and smiling is better . May be am too lazy to hate .
True, me too. But such „right people“ are very hard to come by. Had met a handful throughout all my life only. At the moment no such person in my life so I prefer completely alone 😊
To all loners/HSP's/introverts,There is nothing wrong with being like that,don't let people tell you otherwise. As long as you are happy that way you don't have to conform to the Extrovert mentality to fit into the 'Norm '.I've been an introvert/loner all my life and from my experience introverts are much nicer people.
Same here. I kept my distance from the "popular" kids at school because I learned at a really young age that they are much more likely to be full of crap about who they were and how they really felt/thought about everything. Some people get along with everyone because they're truly accepting of all different kinds of people, but most people who are "popular" don't really seem to have a true self, just masks and costumes they put on to be "perfect" in different social settings.
I absolutely love being alone. I don’t feel lonely. When I go out in social settings, I find myself pretending to be on my phone and walking out often to have some time alone. I cannot wait to go back home. I’m not shy. I can have a conversation. But I cannot stand small talks. I rather stay silent and observe. Meanwhile my mind is occupied with so many thoughts. I don’t even want anyone to talk to me cus you’re interrupting the conversation/ thoughts going on in my mind .sometimes I forget and speak out loud and look weird to people around .
I don’t like small talks, fake people, selfish ones, clingy/jealous friends, those who can’t be empathetic enough to feel in my shoes, judgemental ones, intrusive ones, those who can’t keep my secrets forever, someone who has hidden agendas. This makes 95% of people around me so that’s why I’m totally alone. It’s much more peaceful to complete creative projects, read, surf the Internet and listen to music than have my blood boil with social formalities.
You dont like judgemental people? You're literally being judgemental right now. Not that there is anything wrong with being judgemental, people SHOULD be judgemental, but you are indeed a hypocrite.
I have seven dogs at home, and they are my favorite crew to be around. I had an interesting conversation with my mom about people because most people are too quick to judge and don't see the full scope of who certain people are. In my case with me, I've been stereotyped as the one that "knows everything" when the truth is I don't. I'm continuously learning. When I go and make a mistake, as we as humans do, I beat myself up and receive disapproval from others. I'm beginning to accept my own company and call most people "fake people."
Right? I think the first day I moved in my neighbor was already being nice and to me that's a red flag she was like, "Let me know if you need anything like sugar?" From that day she wouldn't leave me alone. I thought I'll give it a try and every conversation we had was, "Yeah that neighbor is a hermit..." Or "The neighbor is on drugs." She would never even talk about herlsef then I would give in...etc etc etc and tell too much info and it got to the point she wasn't even listening. I told her something that was bothering me and she just completely ignored what I had to say and started talking about hersef, she drove us high to Disneyland and works there. Total moron! Or she's like, "just to let you know our apartment complex is doing bed bug checks." It's like I don't care lady I don't need to know any of that stuff..." and she was just incapable of having the non chit chat real conversations so I finally told her to leave me alone. I talked to one co worker and we really got along and were talking about things that mattered but managment wouldn't allow that and so she fired her (she had ADHD) and of course they don't care nor take that into consideration. So stupid but yes i hate living in a fake world and i"m just myself. I also love trolling people to because they are so nosy. "Who's that?" One lady from my apartment building said. I should have said, "Your mama...so yes stop being so nosy. Was your mama nosy to? Yes? Okay move along and worry about yourself this is why you're like your mama." So rude. But it's that type of behavior I don't want to be around.
I love being by myself & am easily irritated by others. I dislike loud people also & prefer to go out by myself or stay home. Have been called 'weird' by people at times including by members of my own family but it's just who I am. I hate attention & am happy with my life the way it is but others seem to disbelieve this.
Same , the perfect day for me would be for me to be in my room with my headphones on listening to my favorite music all day, taking a long ride on my motorcycle, walking my dogs or just staying home. My dad who recently passed away was my best friend and so is my girlfriend of 10 years..I'm not a hateful person and I don't consider myself better than anyone else, but I just prefer to be by myself. Sometimes I do feel that I'm a bit too boring for other people to be around me because I don't have a whole lot to talk about (no social media, not traveling all over, no big career) however ; I do enjoy meaningful conversations and do consider myself a kind person ..alot of times I feel like people constantly need to be stimulated with drama/gossip or by going places alot and partying or acting foolish..alot of people are just not consistent and seem to be happy to see you one day and ignore you or act differently the next time they see you or sometimes you find out that they talk bad about you when you aren't around them or they use you/take advantage of your kindness. Ehh, in my opinion; if you have one or two close people in your life, than you will be fine and if you only have yourself; you will also be fine , just appreciate the moment and you will be happy
- I can’t stand being rushed, it makes me panic. - I hate being bossed around, & criticized. - I hate being with people who are loud and swear around children and seniors.
Married for 19yrs 1st, next married for 17yrs, and I am living alone now. Never been by myself, a lot of things changed when I was by myself. I cook better, I clean a lot, I do not like clutter, I love being by myself, it is truly awesome. I can't stress it enough. I'm happy. 65yrs old and loving it.
Also 65. Alone. It’s just got to be this way. I seem to atteact preditors. Being alone is working. People mostly disgust me. I prefer trees. No apologies.
I am retired, single, no children. My elderly mother still asks me if I was lonely or wanted to pair up. I told her if I wanted to live with people I would have gone thru the road most taken decades ago. I am content being by myself without a great desire for social interaction.
I am single and have been my whole life because I hate how most people are in every aspect they seem to be very oblivious to how I feel even if they seem okay, it seems like it's only to get something out of me, I hate being around people at dismiss my feelings and just focus on them self all the time
@@dark7angel456 You hate how most people are in every aspect? Jesus. Most people have intuition, even if they can’t explain it. And if you think most people deplorable in every aspect, they can sense that too. I hope you find enjoyment in human interaction at some point. I have encountered very few truly vile people. Once you see it, avoid them, most of us are just fine though.
@@michaelharvest931 alot of people i have encountered are the worst types. I enjoy some people. But i can never confide and havent much found a best friend yet.
@@dark7angel456 Sorry to hear that, but I will say there are very few people in life you can truly trust/confide in. They are super rare to find! Good luck dark angel, keep looking for a best friend. It’ll be worth it 😊
@@michaelharvest931 thank you for the kind words. Which are rarely spoken to me. Or heard. But the rare time i do like to be around people. I shouldn't if said i hate everyone i dont. Just haven't been around many empathic people.
I remember my low self esteem years,when people’s opinions mattered,made me sick to my stomach. Then I realized Their opinion was a reflection of who they were, based only on their personal experiences, good/bad. Nothing to do with who I was. That day, in my book, they lost the power/right to judge I thought they had. Changed my life.
Very relatable… I ruined my twenties trying to fit in with people that weren’t good to be around. Peace is a beautiful thing once you get rid of toxic people, behaviors and thoughts.
I don't mind some people. I just don't want to be around people who drink, smoke, do drugs, loud, curse like a sailor, people who are rude, obnoxious, people that constantly moan, complain and act like ass. So that eliminates 80%
As a smoker, pot smoker, and drinker, I get it. A lot of smokers stink and can't seem to keep their hands off of a cigarette for more than 20 minutes. A lot of pot smokers make it their entire identity. And a lot of drinkers become loud and obnoxious when they get pretty tipsy or drunk. Luckily I do none of those though. I can keep off of smoking for an hour or two no problem, and always do it away from others if they show even a slight indication of not liking it. I pretty much keep my pot smoking to myself unless the topic specifically gets brought up by others. And I only really drink once a week, stop before I truly get drunk, and just become more sociable. Not really loud or obnoxious. But yea, I wouldn't want to be friends with most pot smokers and drinkers either... (smokers is eh whatever to me)
When I'm around people I always put up a facade -- I can't really be myself and must always hide what I'm really thinking and feeling. This exhausts me.
Jbr8...You don't have to put on a facade....be completely yourself and whoever doesn't like it tough crap for them !! I'm 66. The older you get the more you'll feel this way. BE YOURSELF !!
I used to be outgoing and loved being around people. I was a nurse for 30 years. Now, I prefer my own company and avoid social interaction daily. Also, I have gotten much older and find that people listen to respond instead of listening to understand. I also find people so judgemental about everybody and everything. No one can agree to disagree. That's why I love being alone.
And they’re mean about it. I can’t tell you how many times I will say I politely agree to disagree & they unleash a tirade of insults & laugh at me. It’s sad how far & evil society has fallen.
" people listen to respond instead of listening to understand" I really like that statement and that was most evident after my second parent passed away. They were the people most to listen and not judge. I had a friend I made six years ago and we would talk all the time, until we got to know each other extremely well. Now when I talk to him he tells me what I like and what I don't, and it's like he psychoanalyzes me, but he's usually wrong. So now I just avoid him, because if he isn't bad wrapping someone else, he just brings me down. I have one friend left from long ago, that we can talk, joke, and disagree. But we never get uptight, because we're able to change the subject anytime. All my life it was easy to make friends, and I like talking to people. I can learn from strangers, but when we're done talking I always say something nice, to them, tell them a joke, or something, wish them a good evening, and leave them feeling good. No negative energy. Besides a little philosophy, being nice is all I can offer
Am as much a loner as I can manage being married. I found the 'people listening to react vs people listening to understand' statement to be spot on. I'm ashamed but must admit I've been guilty of the first part. But then, I've also done the second part. Now I know what to encourage or discourage in myself, so thanks for that teaching.
Retired nurse too. Love my alone time. People, don't let anyone tell you have a dysfunction, or are weird. I find it exhausting to be around self absorbed people, who always need attention.
I love the statement I once read somewhere that said The more I get to know some people the more I like my dog. That doesn't just apply to dogs but ALL pets in general.
Currently 46, never married (no intentions of changing this), also no kids (getting to old to start now) and prefer to be alone, at home doing my own "thing", if I could avoid contact with other people, I would (only because 99% of people I know & society have proven they can't be trusted). Being alone is a power most can’t handle. It's possible to be alone but not lonely. A person can be in a crowd but yet still feel lonely.
😶 i can relate. i'm 47 and hate people so much, i literally avoid them at all costs. i try not to leave my house and when i do, i go, handle my business, and go straight home. like a beeline. being out in public actually scares me because people are so incredibly evil and the world is so very dangerous. so i just kinda hide. i hear that there's millions like me. i believe they call it 'avoidant personality disorder'.
@@happymess3219nope its something that can be unlearned but its hard depending on the person. In your case id say theres a 1% chance it can be unlearned
Same age same situation. It’s not even because people can’t be trusted but I just don’t find it adds in any way to my life. I always count the time until I can leave again, even with people I actually like. Just boring and disturbs me in a way. Very very few exceptions. I always feel bad about this but at the same time cannot pretend to be something that I am not 😊
Yes, people can be very draining! I prefer being alone, with a good book, a warm blanket and my 3 cats, and a cup of hot tea! Life is good! 🥰🌲🌄🌲⚓⛵🌅⛵⚓🐈⬛🐈🐈🇩🇪🇨🇭🇺🇲
@@ladyinthepink9865 I totally agree with you! We might both be EMPATHS! We basically pick up people's energy and that can be very draining! 🤔🤔🤔🇩🇪🇨🇭🇺🇲💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
I love writing books, watch movies and singing songs. I like people but it started with siblings when they see you meek and humble they start to argue, then to socialize with other people outside seeing you gentle, they laugh at you! Being judgmental! And even wanted to take advantage of a meek person so I think being alone sometimes is full of peace and as the old said you can make yourself happy, don't depend on people. I think it works!!
@@dennismclaurin1487 at this point who cares. It's all about your serenity and mental health. The more people you have around you, the more those two are in jeopardy.
@@dennismclaurin1487that too. If youre not a likeable person than ofcourse no one will like you or treat you how you want. I was an unlikeable person at some point. Smelly, clingy, and sensitive lmao. I hated myself so i blamed it on society. I was terrible with women so i turned to the red pill. It taught me how to have boundaries. Not with just women anybody. Then recently i learned about attachment styles. I then stopped following the redpill. I learned that alot of their advice made me have an avoidance attachment style but hey i stopped being a emotional crybaby. But once i learned how to be able to love & forgive & walk away everything just fell into place. Im still learning and working on myself to become secure. Overall i learned that you cant be an overly emotional, lazy, clingy, butthurt baby and expect to have people want to hang out with you. Nothing wrong with being a introvert but dont complain saying its the worlds fault you ate lonely.
I remember trying to be outgoing in high school. It never worked out and i felt like such a phony. Introverts in an extroverted world are often made to feel there is something wrong with them. I read a book called "Quiet" by Susan Cain and it validated who i was and that there was nothing wrong with it. My pets help immensely and i know that i am never truly alone because God is with me.
Introverts are likely more intelligent. The person in the corner not saying anything probably has the answer. I read Ms. Cain’s book. Society does not value introverts like they do extroverts. That is a mistake.
I am a 100% extrovert and most of my friends are introverts and my husband is an introvert. I moved from Co. out to Va. and one of my closest married introvert friends, of 38 years, is moving out here with her husband so we can stay close to each other. My husband and me talk all the time and we totally balance each other. I had a bf before my husband that told me it was never easier to talk with someone and he actually was surprised at how much he talked around me. The balance between an introvert and extrovert can be very satisfying.
I wouldn’t say I’m happy being alone/like this but I feel safer being alone. I’ve been lied to, manipulated and abused by most people in my life so being alone means I don’t get hurt anymore. I can’t afford to pay someone to “fix” me so I fit into the societal norm.
This video is amazing!!! I'm an introvert & I have MAJOR trust issues. I have endured a LOT of trauma, bullying & slander. I have had people lie on me & litterally try to ruin my life. I've been labeled "antisocial", "snooty", "rude" "mean", "stuck up", "prissy" & "hateful" for not being a people person, for not immediately liking people & for saying "NO" & setting boundaries. In addition, I find most people to be boring, unintelligent & fake. From what I have experienced most people are users, abusers, narcs, ego-maniacs, back stabbers, gossipers, draining, controlling, pushy, aggressive, cruel & sociopathic. The more I get to know people the less I like them. I deal with people as little as possible, I'm civil to people, but deep down I really don't like them. I adore animals & prefer to be around my pets ❤️ the hobbies I have are hobbies that don't include others. I am happiest & most comfortable when I am completely alone. I feel there is nothing wrong with me being a loner, it keeps the drama & bs that people bring at bay. I will never conform to what others think I should be & I will never apologize for being myself.
Good for you. After a lifetime of "people pleasing" (even though I've never liked humans and intentionally did not reproduce them), I have come to the same conclusion, which keeps being reinforced in real time with ongoing volunteer work and neighbors. Too much selfishness and narcissism and drama for my taste.
You sound like an infj which I am. I completely agree with every single word you typed and have had the exact same experience with life. I'm 47 and old enough now to where I just don't care whatsoever about what all those types of people think about me. Your post is exactly my experience.
I read somewhere that people who talk to themselves are very smart. I had an operation recently and the surgeon was talking to himself or in the drugged state I was in I thought he was...it was very comforting to me.
Didn't have a problem being around people when I was younger but as I got older and more experiances with people and from what I see all around, I became all too aware of how shallow, materialistic, overly sensitive, self centered too many people are and ultimately brought unnecessary nor desired B.S. and pain into my life, I reached a point I didn't have a desire to have so called friends or even aquaintenses in my life anymore. Its been some 20 years now and I can say my life has been soooo much better. All I have and nead is my family.
Being alone is never about being lonely for me. I chose to be alone b/c I enjoy my own company infinitely more than I do the company of others, especially the liars, back stabbers, gossipers, opportunists, social climbers etc., that took everything from me and left when I no longer served their purposes. Now, I'm blissful that I nurture my introversion without being ashamed of it. You are the only person that you will be with every single day of your life for the rest of your life, so you better learn to like yourself! 😄
I'm not shy or quiet in public. I can easily talk to anyone or speak in front of a crowd. I just prefer being alone because I totally enjoy living in my own head.
Thats not good...living in your own head is a recipie to develop anxiety. You need to practice living outside your head, in the present moment - thats the only reality. Inside your head you dwell on the past and future way too much.
@@donkey3187 bro shut up. Talking your a$$ off isn’t too good. We live to stay quiet and away from irritable people like you. I don’t care about most people and for great reason. They’re not smart. That’s the main one
@@evalehde3869 Didn't know it had a name till I looked it up. It does help me escape the endless 'what ifs'. I'm 67 now & not going to change, but I think a younger person may want to live life in the moment & consider addressing it. Not sure. I've always been quite happy in the latest head story. LOL.
@@Bess9779 same.. I’m 61 and about a year ago I just googled, “excessive daydreaming” and stumbled on the work of Eli Somer. It was good to know I’m not the only one in the world. Not likely to change for me either.
Yeah, but human beings are social beings by nature and studies show people are healthier and happier with a least one or two good relationships. I get that some like to be alone more than others...nothing wrong with that. But always being alone with zero relationships screams disfunction, social anxiety, and unhappiness at some level.
I’m 52 yrs. Old and have never enjoyed being in social situations, with the exception of being with a significant other. It’s ok to feel this way; you may never change and that’s ok; that’s you. Don’t ever feel that there’s something wrong with you. It’s who you are and who you should allow yourself to be. Be happy and don’t try to fit into someone else’s idea of normal. A lot of people can’t stand to be alone with themselves.
I hate how society makes "shy" people look as if there is something wrong with them. Especially shy kids. If anything shyness should be treated as a virtue. Shyness means you're innocent and pure and that's VERY rare in this cruel world we live in today so I've learned to embrace it and I'm proud of being introverted. I don't need to explain myself to anyone!
I was bullied horribly when I was younger. I have no desire to be in crowds, have no friends and even have a job where I work alone for the majority of each shift. The only reason I leave the house is work and/or having to shop. And that is just fine by me. I can relate to at least three items on this list.
So was I. Writing about really helps. Going to a shrink can be helpful, but writing is something you can do for free. Trust me, it will help. Good luck. You are worth it.
i love my life now. i am retired. i dont have to go out into the world to make a wage. i dont have to battle evil co workers who just cant seem to leave someone alone to do their job. me and hubby made it thru. we are retired. Praise be! hes more social but lately hes been realizing how lovely our privacy is. how we can go back to bed every morning.we set our own hours. the grown children and grands and great grands come over. that is more than enough visitng for us.
I consider myself an extreme introvert, if not only for my job maybe I can go for weeks or months without human interaction and the fact that I live alone for years, a keen observer and seen how other humans behave Ive choose to set aside myself and isolate most of the time enjoying my own company...a "modern day hermit" in other words 😁
There is a big difference between social avoidance and be happy to be yourself and enjoying doing your own thing. People who like to be alone don't necessarily have all these fears, it's a fallacy. Some might but many just love their independence and don't enjoy small talk, or superficiality. When we meet people who are healthy we are happy to interact ✌
Many though try to rationalize social anxiety with "thats just how I am". Most people are healthier and happier with at least one or two close relationships in their life to share life with.
How you know someone is safe though ?Men I mean ? Everyone got tats everyone is weird in public seriously I'm not shy either I'm in Texas homophobia central and Spanish speaking ignorant Mexicans .
As a child,the bulk of the attention I received from my parents was in the form of yelling and threats. Never any praise,no,”we’re proud of you!”,never even a simple “I love you.” Not once. Those who society tells you you can trust have been anything but trustworthy,so yeah,I have “trust issues”. I recently went through a very difficult situation and had to do it alone,not because I have no friends,I do and they’re a VERY small group. It was because I was isolated far from home,and those I thought I could trust turned their backs on me when I was no longer of any use to them. As I said,I have a very small group of friends who I can trust implicitly,but all in all I prefer the company of my dog to that of anyone else.
Before investing too much time in a person. Observe them around different situations. Eventually they will show you who they truly are. Then decide whether they are a keeper or to just let them go.
I too can relate to a lot of what you went through. My brother and I were Emotionally Neglected by our parents. My mom worked all the time because my dad was an alcoholic. My parents were too busy fighting with each other all the time. Not much love in our household. My brother and I are doing our best to walk the path of life. Some days are good...others, well you know. Take care all and know there is someone who loves all of you and wishes only the best for you in your lives. Take care. Cheers
I’m so sorry. I know how that goes but I went no contact with the thing that gave birth to me and that entire side of the family as soon as I could. My da sheltered me as much as he could, even putting in the divorce papers that all Holidays from school were his and my grandparents. I don’t even know if my egg donour is alive.
As a child I was constantly bullied in school which led to my low self esteem and to become an introvert. I do have very few friends that I know I can trust, but still I've become so accustomed to being alone that I prefer it. It's so true being around people just drains me physically and emotionally. When I'm alone I feel happy and super charged !!! ☺️
That's it. I was married for 19 years and was still alone. I prefer my own company most of the time, yet I do have a large group of good friends. I can entertain myself for hours or days. Always building or planning something. Most people bore me. I dont like to waste time.
For me, it's that I'm an introvert, I've had social anxiety from as far back as I can remember, cptsd from traumatic experiences and alot of trust issues, low self esteem etc it's always nice when you can find someone who relates and /at least understands and doesn't criticize for needing time alone.. Thanks for the video!!!!
I had a wife for 30 years we stood by each other through thick and thin then one day she simply said. I dont love you any more and im leaving. Now all i have for a friend is my beagle. Its somthing you never get over no matter how much time passes and you beat yourself up non stop wondering what you could have done to change things
@@richardclintonjonesjones1807 Stop beating yourself up. She was the one who left. You can't control what other people do. It's hard enough controlling our own actions.
I can relate, but social anxiety, like any anxiety, isnt healthy for you. You need to work on geting to meett people on some level. Avoidance just make the anxiety stronger.
All my life, I preferred being around animals than people. And still do to this day. In my opinion, animals have always seemed more understanding. I have Asperger's, and littleraly always thinking. Other people annoy me, so I don't usually like being around them. Even during family events, I pretty much keep to myself.
Yep. I'm the same. This video, I'm number one, and three. I can function ok in social settings, work, appointments, so forth. But, I don't get involved in useless conversations. Small talk ain't my thing. I do best with my own company and my beautiful cat. Family can drive you crazy with noise. I have 2 family members and when they talk, omg, it's constant, loud, and I slip away. Everybody is different and that's beautiful.
LoL...no, you dont have to earn the love of a dog or cat...they usually give it freely and uconditinoally...its lazy love on your part. People require thinking, and developing the relationship...and they have their own mind and views. Of course you find animals easier...everyone does. lol
@DONKEY Most people also go to far at times and try to project onto others who don't ask for it. That's not lazy on our part, it's about respect which some people either lack or just don't care to have.
@@9Ballr Jean-Paul Sartre was born June 21, 1905 in Paris, France-died April 15, 1980. He was a French philosopher, novelist, and playwright. He was also a key figure in the existentialism philosophical movement.
I guess an important lesson to learn from this is to not force anything, friendships, relationships etc. Don’t force it, otherwise it’ll just come across as phony.
The older I get,I’m 62, I’ve experienced all of these things over the years. I prefer to keep people at a distance. I’ve been hurt so many times by people I thought were friends,and my extended family too. I just have my immediate family,who I can always count on.
Most other people just bug the shit out of me. Not everybody, but I choose to be alone most of the time because the odds of coming across those people increase with every passing day. Nothing personal… it is what it is. Some folks I really love, but they are few and far between.
"I like individuals...but I HATE people!" :P Seriously though same here. So many adults seem so...immature or just dumb. I know it's probably not true from an outside perspective, but that's how most people come across to me. I find I can more often get along with older teens and young adults (age 16~22), but I'm at that age now where I'm having a hard time keeping up with the young crowd anymore, so that's slowly going out the window too. ^^;;
@@Sanquinity And they say as one gets older, they get wiser. I find that to be an understatement. You really hit the nail on the head when you pointed out that many adults are dumb. That manifests itself in more ways than one.
I need that on a t shirt : people bug the shit out of me,nothin personal 🙌🏼. I have one which reads ' want coffee,not your opinion'.I wear that AND my scowl face and somehow people still dont seem to get the message 🤔. Am 40 and divorced but got no cats.Maybe people will leave me alone if I get cats? Then I will be the complete ' grumpy old woman with cats ' 🤔 I hope that chases people away 🤞🏽
@@sadia2395 Got one myself that says "I'm responsible for what I say, not for what YOU understand." Since people LOVE misinterpreting what you say and assuming the worst possibility for some reason.
As an introvert, I find most conversations boring. I stopped watching television a couple of years ago and have never looked back. Too much politics in everything nowadays. I have friends, but they are all deep thinkers and have no interest in keeping up with the latest trends, topics, and modern gadgets. We smoke pipes, read books, write stories, have meaningful discussions, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Some of my friends have their own hobbies, but we always manage to converse about our differences in a calm and meaningful way. For example, I collect pocket watches, and one of my friends collects model trains. We have different hobbies, but are able to converse about our differences while being united by what we have in common. Whatever your hobby is, chances are you're not alone. If you're having trouble socializing, start with your hobbies, as I'm sure you'll be able to find some like-minded people.
Being with lots of people just drain me and I don't know why. Even if I don't interact with them it still drain my energy. Like if I go to a grocery store where there's usually lots of people, when I go home I feel so tired. Or even when I'm hanging out with friends, I might be energetic at first but later on I would feel tired and would need to stay quiet to recharge my energy. 😅 It doesn't disrupt my daily life, it's just that I get more tired with other people.
I love engaging with other people when taking a walk or in a public place; I find that after a few hours, I am exhausted as well. However, I get uplifted when I interact with dogs while on my walk.
I feel the same. And besides, one thing that really makes me feel depleted is a small talk. If i hear chatting of this kind, my energy level shrinks just with the speed of free fall. It's like a torture for me to shove myself into this kind of interaction.
You sound very much how I am. If you haven’t yet, may I suggest that you take the Myers-Briggs personality test. You can find this on sites such as 16 personalities. Five years ago I took it and discovered that I am an INFJ personality type. Everything made so much more sense after discovering this. I highly recommend everyone take the test, especially more introverted people.
Omgggosssh sameee!!!! I get so exhausted mentally and emotionally from people especially at work. Or even on transit where there’s people .. I just don’t like being in their presence. I get energized with my bf and sister tho but everyone else drains me to no end. I wonder why we are so sensitive to their energy
At my age, I've let go of chasing after people to get together for social outings, and I look for opportunities to work alone. I probably have some kind of PTSD from childhood, and have struggled with "thin skin" most of my life. The more I learn about navigating through power structures, hierarchies, etc., the more my stomach turns. I try to live responsibly, respectfully, and with kindness. Happiness, Home, and Health are my priorities now. I've taken up fish keeping, and am working toward a life of productive solitude :) Thanks for this video!
I've been around psychologists, I've been around psych patients in their care, and have not known a single person that _'therapy'_ ever helped. Usually, the _contrary_ took place and they became drugged-out zombies. You don't need 'therapy' if you prefer solitude, peace and quiet as opposed to raucous, pushy, rude, thoughtless, inconsiderate people with no self-awareness or self-discipline. _You just need distance from them._
I used to go to therapy for my manic depression. I was prescribed pills that were said to help my mental well-being. I took one.I slept long. That was it. The prescribed dose was low(5 mg.) She wanted to up the dose. I never took anymore pills. She believed that the pills would help me see the world in a better way and light. I believe I see the world exactly as it is. That helped me deal with the adversities I face daily Pills aren't going to stop people from reacting negatively to my hideous, pathetic appearance, which I began noticing, after getting sick from kissing a prostitute in 1983. God knows I have a story to tell. Prov.7, beginning in verse 6, is like reading about myself in 1983.What led me in that path, is a whole other story, which I believe dates back to 1969, when I was young, innocent, and most vulnerable. I remember another incident from the same cousin several years later
I had an extremely abusive childhood, that went on all through my life! I have experienced relentless abuse, bullying, gaslighting, cruelty and criticism by my evil mother! This has left me with all sorts of horrifying results, like learning difficulties, a total lack of self belief and confidence - I am now 63 years old and still learning about Adverse Childhood Abuse. I'm actually having to teach myself not to trust other people! As I never learned who to trust and not to trust.
Sorry you had to go through but even though evil exists the world can be beautiful. Continue to know that you are special and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
My mother wasn't purposely abusive but Obsessive/Compulsive and a very nervous person with self esteem issues. She unwittingly taught low confidence to all her children. It has been tough to overcome and become my own nurturing parent. I am slowly coming to trust what I see and have the confidence to walk away. I'm your age.
Recently 2 of my longtime friends that I see 2-4 times a year invited me to a weekend getaway I told them I’ve been depressed & in a couple months maybe I’ll feel differently & to go ahead with out me this time . They got upset & completely took it personally & told me I left them “hanging” by not giving them any future dates to meet up with them ….now they aren’t talking to me & to be honest I’m kind of relieved . I’m very much an introvert & suffer from depression but when I tell them I don’t feel up to doing something they make me the bad guy & I’m tired of it
I am an extrovert and it doesnt matter if your in or ex people act like this because they don't get it. Extroverts can get sad too. When someone gets mad at you it is always a second emotion, not the 1st. The 1st emotion is almost 100% sadness. So when you told them no you made them hurt or sad. They stopped talking to you because they think YOU don't like them since you dissed them (is what they think). They think YOU don't want anything to do with them. If you do want someone to be there let them know who you are and if you decide not to do something it is because your overwhelmed but you would love to hear about the trip later. This type of approach will help. Depression stinks, we all get it in varying degrees, extroverts and introverts. We all feel the same inside no matter how we approach the world. I hope you smile
Do you love yourself first many people wouldn't last an hour in your life don't waste your precious energy and time worried about what your life looks like to others focus on what brings you peace and joy and if you don't want to be bothered with people and don't want to take trips you don't have to it's your life and your decision I completely understand choosing peace choosing quiet choosing to be in a space that makes you comfortable oftentimes I hear people speak of the comfort zone is a bad thing let me tell you something comfortable is a good thing and don't let anybody tell you different because you have a right to live your life in a way that works best for you not friends best for you not family best for you and it shouldn't be up for discussion self-love is the number one love I applaud you for choosing you!!!!!
If u were my friend, I won't hold it against u and try to get u to hang out wit me more. If u truly don't wanna hang, I'd give u yo space and still keep in touch. Tha problem is, I can't be certain u gon' do tha same for me or stab me in tha back like everyone else. I swear bruh, it's sad how most peepz give up on peepz and immediately judge dem for it. U were honest wit 'em and they still got sh*t to say smh
Bullied all my life by teachers, classmates and relatives. Sometimes people and strangers in public tease the way i look. Even my own biological father and people i have given my trust entirely betrayed me. I'd rather be alone so that people will stop hurting me
I'm so sorry what you've been thru I can relate to you in so many ways. Just know that you are beautiful and you are loved by Jesus. He's all I have and He and music and art is my outlet. Be encouraged my luv!
You missed one reason why to avoid people and that is i just don't like people. I am very social at work and in public but when I'm at home I just want to be left alone
I've gone from introvert to extrovert and back to introvert. Most people (98%) don't add anything positive to my life. If anything, they add negative. I don't get lonely, but I'm dying for meaningful conversations. I have come to the conclusion they're not to be had anymore. My definition of friends is different from theirs, they're your friend as long as they can get something from you. It's not mutual. I do just fine by myself and get a lot more done. I don't know if I still even like people.
As an introvert, it’s taken me years to accept who I am. I always used to find it so painfully difficult when it came to being an upbeat, chatty person. I would be so drained to the point where my muscles would ache. I just think that people have no right to make you feel bad about your quiet personality. Nor they should make it seem so obvious that they are bored to be in your presence. It’s not like we introverts tell the extroverts how boring they are to us 🙃 The point is, don’t force conversations, friendships or relationships just to please people. The right ones will come and it will feel like a breeze!
Most people are alot of work, complicated, insensitive, self-centered, opinionated, unfeeling, lack compassion, and lack empathy. Just feel sorry for them and do not internalize their problems . Just be yourself and be proud of yourself and who you are.
I trust absolutely no one 100 percent. Been kicked too many times by various persons. My biological father is very self centered, my stepfather and mother always put themselves first. In 5th grade I had entered a contest and my entry for art work went to the finals in NYS . When I told my mom and stepfather they refused to take me because it was an hour drive each way. As I was already bullied at school by classmates and teachers as well as family this was a crushing blow. Afterwards my personality changed from being very outgoing to keeping to myself and not talking. It wasn't till years later when I turned my back on most of the family and moved far away did the positivity return. I still prefer being alone but am now comfortable with having some friends around. Still though the trust is gone. Determined that most people are narcissistic jerks .
At 57 after a busy career with travel and all the socializing I could ever want, I cherish my solitude. I have no problem whatsoever being alone and other than my husband avoid others most of the time. I’m completely happy the way I am. Others annoy tf out of me. 👍🏻
@@louisegilleran7773 pets are shallow, lazy love, you dont have to earn their love or trust, or compromise on anything. People require actual work and compromise to develop a relatonship. You arent an introvert, you are just lazy..and probably suffering from social anxiety.
@DONKEY You really need to stop making assumptions about people you don't know. Being an introvert and being lazy are 2 different things. It also has nothing to do with social anxiety.
I'm a very social and enjoy interacting with other people. However, I would prefer to be alone. I don't have to feed my ego nor do I play head games. So many people these days are self-serving and insecure. I'm happier without the distractions that keep me from creating my artwork and/or finding inner peace. But, I'm only one voice.
I am socially isolated and have not been part of a social herd since 2000. I can not give up all the freedom, independence, self-reliance, knowledge, and simplicity, I have gained by being socially isolated, to just find the modern version of what a, "friend," is. A modern, "friend," is just a low level invader that has entered your life and is waiting for you to show weakness so they may lunge at the opportunity to take advantage of you when you are down. It is unlikely I will ever have a friend, nor a girlfriend, again. I learned from my painful experience. Nobody today can be a true friend to those that are rather withdrawn to start. We are looked upon like freaks. Social people and reclusive people should never mix. Other than the species they all happen to be, they share nothing in common.
I don't mind being around people as long as I know them. Too many strangers around me makes me feel uncomfortable due to my social anxiety. I actually like my own company and being by myself is when I'm the most relaxed and comfortable.
I'm a loner. I love being alone. I'm an introvert. I know how to socialize well. I stopped hanging out because I realized that I don't have friends that would come pick me up to hang out. All my friends always want me to drive or come pick them up. The one friend who doesn't have a car or job, always trying to hang out with me. I don't understand. I just want a friend who will call me and tell me to get dressed and they're about to come pick me up to hang out. All I get is "pull up on me bro"
In my observations I find that many people are impatient, have short attention spans, and only care about what youre saying if it benefits them. That being said, I am grateful when I encounter someone who doesn't possess these traits, and I'm likely to either befriend them or remember them because they stood out.
Exactly. It killed my soul a little every time I was mid sentence & the other person just looked over me, to the side or interrupted me . Makes one feel very small. So now, it’s my husband, my dogs & a small circle of friends. No more self impressed, arrogant loud people, family or not. Buh bye…lol
Yes I'm a really nice sweet caring understanding chill person and try to see good in most people and tell them things to support them and be positive and never do anyone bad but my family just thinks I guess im not good enough that way. So I cut them off. Sometimes they even talk shit to me for being such an animal advocate. I just get pissed and leave and now I never show up or respond to them. They are so rude not getting what I love and not at least respecting me and it. I would never do them like that. Now I will though. I cry alone sometimes and feel like I deserve someone nice that sees my trying hard and my soul and appreciates me and values my opinion. I do that for people sometimes I barely know. It's really hard. I feed stray pets everyday and that fills me with love but then I worry about them Soo much too. Thank you.
Before pandemic, I could say that I was an extrovert person... I am not used to going out alone, eating, watching movie..etc. as much as possible, I try to find someone who can come with me. When pandemic occured, with the social distance thing.. at first it was very hard for me. I even felt depressed being alone. But overtime, I got to love it... the solitude life. I got to enjoy doing things on my own..And appreciate it. I love alone time now.
Whatever the reason may be, it's important to figure out what makes you happy and what makes you feel fulfilled. Spending time alone can be a great way to recharge and focus on your own needs, and there's nothing wrong with that. If being around other people just doesn't do it for you, there's no shame in embracing your introverted nature.
I have never been a fan of my fellow human beings. That stems from issues experienced as a child by teachers, classmates, and my own siblings. I have always been a loner, ever since I was a toddler, really. I have never liked being around a bunch of people unless it was for a concert or other event I wanted to be at. I have found that most people do not like me because I am "different." So, I keep to myself for the most part.
When I was young I was social and popular. When I got older, I changed to being happier being by myself. However, being social is definitely the advantage in the business world.
Try being most of this list and dealing with a narcissist. It's beyond difficult! I did it for 10 years and it almost put me over the edge. I'm away from that person now and feel so much better. Don't waste your time hoping that a narcissist will try to change. They won't.
Yup... All the above. I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never know what it feels like to be loved. My family severely bullied me, I was then also bullied at school, ignored at college and now ignored by coworkers. I've spent my life being polite, reserved, friendly, helpful... but it seems like all I get in return is hate. Eventually, I've learned to truly despise people. To be fair... there are a few little angels in this world that have shown me love: my dogs. No human was ever kind to me. If, one day, androids take over the world, I'll be on their side.
This is me. Don’t like to be the centre of attention and keep to myself. I really don’t like crowds. I do not like to talk about myself and notice that when I am in groups, I feel like I’m asking mundane questions. Not who I am and I love my own company. I do not judge anyone and let people be. Glad I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing .
Well all but one or two of these things apply to me; no big surprise. It was refreshing to watch a video on this subject that doesn't go on to tell me that preferring to be alone is always an illness or a problem. The older I get, the less I feel weird or wrong about wanting to be alone most of the time. For the past 10 years, the only real socializing I've done has been here on RUclips. I say "thank god for social media" because it allows me to socialize when and how I feel comfortable doing so. Blessings to all of us who are quiet and more comfortable at home... 😊☮💚🌸
Me too. Except some special disorders like Asperger or else. And for me RUclips is a kind of social net too, like for you, though i also watch lots of videos here.
Preferring to be alone can always turn into an illness and problem when you try to get around people It's hopeless, having to feel accepted by the world.
I love being alone. I’m a HAPPY camper when I’m in retreat of my own world. I am social when I need to be and enjoy social interaction. I am a authentic introvert.
Whenever somone talks to me, I get easily annoyed and irritated, but at the ame time I want friends because there's nobody who actually likes me or spends time with me, so that's probably why I don't know how to socialize and get easily annoyed and irritated. I also don't want to run the chance of getting backstabbed or having fake friends.
" I don't hate people, I just feel better when they are not around "
- Charles Bukowski
I can be myself. No one is around!
No stress...
AMEN TO THAT. EVERYBODY NEEDS TO "STAY AWAY" FROM TOXIC PEOPLE. IT HELPS ALOT.
No reason to hate me though i didnt do anything to you
AMEN TO THAT. SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST TOO ANNOYING.
AMEN TO THAT. SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST ANNOYING.
Too many people in this world that are pure evil. It's better to have a pet than a "friend" who might stab you in the back.
True that Chris!!
Sad but true.
Complicated with their own agenda.
An agenda that can discard you mercilessly.
Because I hate people I do not hate being alone.
this is so true. less chances of getting hurt.
@@khimmybee322 I confirm.
The more people you are around, the more drama you will encounter.
And stress too
@@marcovillareal6163 Mostly it seems; stress!
Amen 🙏🏻
Stress for sure and people only look for you when they need somthing
Yes, and I've reached a point in my life where I can't stand unnecessary drama.
I dont like being around a lot of people, but I do enjoy being around the right person 😌
Same thats why I am still looking for a gf, the right one is out there, I know. But thats all I need, I have my family and close friends
You mean the ones with a great set of knockers and a tight A$$ ?
Me too I don't trust people easily but I don't be rude too I just smile . It takes time for me to give trust to someone . But when I give I will stay loyal till the end . But if they break it I will forgive them . May sound like a Saint. 😂😂😂but that's how I am I don't like to keep hard feelings like hate and hurt someone ., if I do I become tired than that being kind and smiling is better . May be am too lazy to hate .
True, me too. But such „right people“ are very hard to come by. Had met a handful throughout all my life only. At the moment no such person in my life so I prefer completely alone 😊
Me too
It's possible to be alone but not lonely. A person can be in a crowd but yet still feel lonely.
Being around people makes me feel lonely LoL
@@mikebrunello243 join the club 😂
Yes, and isn't it amusing how something must be wrong with us because we don't "fit the norm." I, for one, am very pleased that I don't! :)
So true!!!! Even people who are married and have children can be very lonely.
@@skroy8671 I feel ya. Why be like everyone else? I was put down by my peers and even my family for not being like a "girl".
Being alone is a power most can’t handle
Amen❤️
Austin Power
Yes
fudge, I must be a superhero!
@@ByCrom superpowers are not for everyone..
To all loners/HSP's/introverts,There is nothing wrong with being like that,don't let people tell you otherwise. As long as you are happy that way you don't have to conform to the Extrovert mentality to fit into the 'Norm '.I've been an introvert/loner all my life and from my experience introverts are much nicer people.
Bravo Claire, I'm 75 and have been that way all my life also! Even through marriage & kids and the work environment.
🙏
Thank you so much. Exactly
Same here. I kept my distance from the "popular" kids at school because I learned at a really young age that they are much more likely to be full of crap about who they were and how they really felt/thought about everything. Some people get along with everyone because they're truly accepting of all different kinds of people, but most people who are "popular" don't really seem to have a true self, just masks and costumes they put on to be "perfect" in different social settings.
@@greenbird777 literally
I absolutely love being alone. I don’t feel lonely. When I go out in social settings, I find myself pretending to be on my phone and walking out often to have some time alone.
I cannot wait to go back home. I’m not shy. I can have a conversation. But I cannot stand small talks. I rather stay silent and observe. Meanwhile my mind is occupied with so many thoughts. I don’t even want anyone to talk to me cus you’re interrupting the conversation/ thoughts going on in my mind .sometimes I forget and speak out loud and look weird to people around .
Yup sounds like me lol. When I go to a social gathering I try to sit next to exit door so I can leave as soom as its done!
Exactly how I feel and act, too the letter
🤘🏽
You're an INTJ! Just like me!
@@cadum.1279 what is INTJ?
I feel ya.
I don’t like small talks, fake people, selfish ones, clingy/jealous friends, those who can’t be empathetic enough to feel in my shoes, judgemental ones, intrusive ones, those who can’t keep my secrets forever, someone who has hidden agendas. This makes 95% of people around me so that’s why I’m totally alone. It’s much more peaceful to complete creative projects, read, surf the Internet and listen to music than have my blood boil with social formalities.
A pet will love you always and are great company
You dont like judgemental people? You're literally being judgemental right now. Not that there is anything wrong with being judgemental, people SHOULD be judgemental, but you are indeed a hypocrite.
I have seven dogs at home, and they are my favorite crew to be around. I had an interesting conversation with my mom about people because most people are too quick to judge and don't see the full scope of who certain people are. In my case with me, I've been stereotyped as the one that "knows everything" when the truth is I don't. I'm continuously learning. When I go and make a mistake, as we as humans do, I beat myself up and receive disapproval from others. I'm beginning to accept my own company and call most people "fake people."
😊 same here. Hope you're ok
Right? I think the first day I moved in my neighbor was already being nice and to me that's a red flag she was like, "Let me know if you need anything like sugar?" From that day she wouldn't leave me alone. I thought I'll give it a try and every conversation we had was, "Yeah that neighbor is a hermit..." Or "The neighbor is on drugs." She would never even talk about herlsef then I would give in...etc etc etc and tell too much info and it got to the point she wasn't even listening. I told her something that was bothering me and she just completely ignored what I had to say and started talking about hersef, she drove us high to Disneyland and works there. Total moron! Or she's like, "just to let you know our apartment complex is doing bed bug checks." It's like I don't care lady I don't need to know any of that stuff..." and she was just incapable of having the non chit chat real conversations so I finally told her to leave me alone. I talked to one co worker and we really got along and were talking about things that mattered but managment wouldn't allow that and so she fired her (she had ADHD) and of course they don't care nor take that into consideration. So stupid but yes i hate living in a fake world and i"m just myself. I also love trolling people to because they are so nosy. "Who's that?" One lady from my apartment building said. I should have said, "Your mama...so yes stop being so nosy. Was your mama nosy to? Yes? Okay move along and worry about yourself this is why you're like your mama." So rude. But it's that type of behavior I don't want to be around.
I’m always happier with my own company. I only get bored when I’m around people, never when I’m alone.
yeah, I also thought opposite but what I reached conclusion is I'm happier own my own.
So truth, I can socialize for a while, but my body gets drained easily. Thats why I spent most of time alone, I never feel like escaping from me.
I clearly hear what you're saying 👍
I love being by myself & am easily irritated by others. I dislike loud people also & prefer to go out by myself or stay home. Have been called 'weird' by people at times including by members of my own family but it's just who I am. I hate attention & am happy with my life the way it is but others seem to disbelieve this.
i always say, i prefer to be weird, normal people scare me.
DITTO 💯!!!
You sound like you are describing me to the letter.
Same , the perfect day for me would be for me to be in my room with my headphones on listening to my favorite music all day, taking a long ride on my motorcycle, walking my dogs or just staying home. My dad who recently passed away was my best friend and so is my girlfriend of 10 years..I'm not a hateful person and I don't consider myself better than anyone else, but I just prefer to be by myself. Sometimes I do feel that I'm a bit too boring for other people to be around me because I don't have a whole lot to talk about (no social media, not traveling all over, no big career) however ; I do enjoy meaningful conversations and do consider myself a kind person ..alot of times I feel like people constantly need to be stimulated with drama/gossip or by going places alot and partying or acting foolish..alot of people are just not consistent and seem to be happy to see you one day and ignore you or act differently the next time they see you or sometimes you find out that they talk bad about you when you aren't around them or they use you/take advantage of your kindness. Ehh, in my opinion; if you have one or two close people in your life, than you will be fine and if you only have yourself; you will also be fine , just appreciate the moment and you will be happy
Same!
- I can’t stand being rushed, it makes me panic.
- I hate being bossed around, & criticized.
- I hate being with people who are loud and swear around children and seniors.
Не любите учителей, понимаю.
I hate visiting people and they throw a party or cookout and invite a bunch of people.
@@GlenJornov-ld9bgfr a bunch of nobodies who just want to drink your beer lmao
Sound like a female
OK so do you work
Married for 19yrs 1st, next married for 17yrs, and I am living alone now. Never been by myself, a lot of things changed when I was by myself. I cook better, I clean a lot, I do not like clutter, I love being by myself, it is truly awesome. I can't stress it enough. I'm happy. 65yrs old and loving it.
Also 65. Alone. It’s just got to be this way. I seem to atteact preditors. Being alone is working. People mostly disgust me. I prefer trees. No apologies.
Nice.
@@rs5570 I hear you! I prefer dogs and bicycles.
Amen 👍 love being me😊
Happy geezers - losers . Why are you telling me you're happy ? What for do you need confirmation ?!
I am retired, single, no children. My elderly mother still asks me if I was lonely or wanted to pair up. I told her if I wanted to live with people I would have gone thru the road most taken decades ago. I am content being by myself without a great desire for social interaction.
I am single and have been my whole life because I hate how most people are in every aspect they seem to be very oblivious to how I feel even if they seem okay, it seems like it's only to get something out of me, I hate being around people at dismiss my feelings and just focus on them self all the time
@@dark7angel456 You hate how most people are in every aspect? Jesus. Most people have intuition, even if they can’t explain it. And if you think most people deplorable in every aspect, they can sense that too. I hope you find enjoyment in human interaction at some point. I have encountered very few truly vile people. Once you see it, avoid them, most of us are just fine though.
@@michaelharvest931 alot of people i have encountered are the worst types. I enjoy some people. But i can never confide and havent much found a best friend yet.
@@dark7angel456 Sorry to hear that, but I will say there are very few people in life you can truly trust/confide in. They are super rare to find! Good luck dark angel, keep looking for a best friend. It’ll be worth it 😊
@@michaelharvest931 thank you for the kind words. Which are rarely spoken to me. Or heard. But the rare time i do like to be around people. I shouldn't if said i hate everyone i dont. Just haven't been around many empathic people.
I enjoy being alone. I like my own company. I'm alone, but not lonely. People have a hard time understanding this.
why people have a hard time understanding this?
Not me.
Im not alone but i feel lonely i just dont like people i dont know
Being alone is a self reward ❤ Not necessarily feeling lonely. In fact, it's a fulfilling peaceful way of enjoying life.
"You build a wall around yourself."
"You push people away."
I just like being by myself.
lol
I remember my low self esteem years,when people’s opinions mattered,made me sick to my stomach. Then I realized Their opinion was a reflection of who they were, based only on their personal experiences, good/bad. Nothing to do with who I was. That day, in my book, they lost the power/right to judge I thought they had. Changed my life.
Yes especially when you realize you can’t change how they think or feel about you nor is it your job to. Plus their opinions don’t matter anyways
Very relatable… I ruined my twenties trying to fit in with people that weren’t good to be around. Peace is a beautiful thing once you get rid of toxic people, behaviors and thoughts.
Yes! They have no right to make you feel that way. The problem is with them, not you
💓💓💓
You broke free of conservativism. Congrats!
Being around people, even the ones I really like, drains me.
It's like most people came out of a swamp
Yup I definitely need more time to recharge after those encounters.
Same here 😢
Yes. People are draining
Me too sad but true.
I don't mind some people. I just don't want to be around people who drink, smoke, do drugs, loud, curse like a sailor, people who are rude, obnoxious, people that constantly moan, complain and act like ass. So that eliminates 80%
Agreed. Just not worth the effort in the long run…
90%
i drink and smoke, but i would like me as a friend!
@@arleneirvine1526 when I say drink I mean uncontrollable.
As a smoker, pot smoker, and drinker, I get it. A lot of smokers stink and can't seem to keep their hands off of a cigarette for more than 20 minutes. A lot of pot smokers make it their entire identity. And a lot of drinkers become loud and obnoxious when they get pretty tipsy or drunk.
Luckily I do none of those though. I can keep off of smoking for an hour or two no problem, and always do it away from others if they show even a slight indication of not liking it. I pretty much keep my pot smoking to myself unless the topic specifically gets brought up by others. And I only really drink once a week, stop before I truly get drunk, and just become more sociable. Not really loud or obnoxious.
But yea, I wouldn't want to be friends with most pot smokers and drinkers either... (smokers is eh whatever to me)
When I'm around people I always put up a facade -- I can't really be myself and must always hide what I'm really thinking and feeling. This exhausts me.
I am so with you there
Jbr8...You don't have to put on a facade....be completely yourself and whoever doesn't like it tough crap for them !! I'm 66. The older you get the more you'll feel this way. BE YOURSELF !!
I used to be outgoing and loved being around people. I was a nurse for 30 years. Now, I prefer my own company and avoid social interaction daily. Also, I have gotten much older and find that people listen to respond instead of listening to understand. I also find people so judgemental about everybody and everything. No one can agree to disagree. That's why I love being alone.
And they’re mean about it. I can’t tell you how many times I will say I politely agree to disagree & they unleash a tirade of insults & laugh at me. It’s sad how far & evil society has fallen.
@kim Warner, absolutely 💯
" people listen to respond instead of listening to understand" I really like that statement and that was most evident after my second parent passed away. They were the people most to listen and not judge. I had a friend I made six years ago and we would talk all the time, until we got to know each other extremely well. Now when I talk to him he tells me what I like and what I don't, and it's like he psychoanalyzes me, but he's usually wrong. So now I just avoid him, because if he isn't bad wrapping someone else, he just brings me down. I have one friend left from long ago, that we can talk, joke, and disagree. But we never get uptight, because we're able to change the subject anytime. All my life it was easy to make friends, and I like talking to people. I can learn from strangers, but when we're done talking I always say something nice, to them, tell them a joke, or something, wish them a good evening, and leave them feeling good. No negative energy. Besides a little philosophy, being nice is all I can offer
Am as much a loner as I can manage being married. I found the 'people listening to react vs people listening to understand' statement to be spot on. I'm ashamed but must admit I've been guilty of the first part. But then, I've also done the second part. Now I know what to encourage or discourage in myself, so thanks for that teaching.
Retired nurse too. Love my alone time. People, don't let anyone tell you have a dysfunction, or are weird. I find it exhausting to be around self absorbed people, who always need attention.
I love the statement I once read somewhere that said The more I get to know some people the more I like my dog. That doesn't just apply to dogs but ALL pets in general.
Socializing with dogs is much more enjoyable. I leave feeling so uplifted! People...well that all depends on the individual.
I too prefer the company of my animals. Their love, friendship and companionship seem more genuine and sincere.
Of course dogs and cats can and do have issues with each other as well! 😄
Me too
@@infjfemale200
Very true
Currently 46, never married (no intentions of changing this), also no kids (getting to old to start now) and prefer to be alone, at home doing my own "thing", if I could avoid contact with other people, I would (only because 99% of people I know & society have proven they can't be trusted). Being alone is a power most can’t handle. It's possible to be alone but not lonely. A person can be in a crowd but yet still feel lonely.
😶
i can relate.
i'm 47 and hate people so much, i literally avoid them at all costs. i try not to leave my house and when i do, i go, handle my business, and go straight home. like a beeline. being out in public actually scares me because people are so incredibly evil and the world is so very dangerous. so i just kinda hide. i hear that there's millions like me.
i believe they call it 'avoidant personality disorder'.
@@happymess3219nope its something that can be unlearned but its hard depending on the person. In your case id say theres a 1% chance it can be unlearned
You're just in the wrong area and yes there's a difference between being alone and being lonely
Same age same situation. It’s not even because people can’t be trusted but I just don’t find it adds in any way to my life. I always count the time until I can leave again, even with people I actually like. Just boring and disturbs me in a way. Very very few exceptions. I always feel bad about this but at the same time cannot pretend to be something that I am not 😊
hahahahahaha, writes the exact same quote as everyone else as if it's their own thought
The older I get the less I like people.
And that is because of politics?
I totally agree with you. I just turned 61 in August. (2024)
Yeah I'm the same way! I can't stand people talking rubbish
I am 95% introvert. People make me tired and bored at times. I love spending time creating my Art and more.
Yes, people can be very draining! I prefer being alone, with a good book, a warm blanket and my 3 cats, and a cup of hot tea! Life is good! 🥰🌲🌄🌲⚓⛵🌅⛵⚓🐈⬛🐈🐈🇩🇪🇨🇭🇺🇲
@@daren7889 me too
@@ladyinthepink9865 I totally agree with you! We might both be EMPATHS! We basically pick up people's energy and that can be very draining! 🤔🤔🤔🇩🇪🇨🇭🇺🇲💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙
Me too, being alone is a lot more fun and I like thinking, making art, playing video games, reading and more.
I love writing books, watch movies and singing songs. I like people but it started with siblings when they see you meek and humble they start to argue, then to socialize with other people outside seeing you gentle, they laugh at you! Being judgmental! And even wanted to take advantage of a meek person so I think being alone sometimes is full of peace and as the old said you can make yourself happy, don't depend on people. I think it works!!
"...Do you find yourself happier when you're not around people? If so, you're definitely not alone." 😑😑😑
If you don't like being around people, you're not alone.
How would you feel if the majority doesn't like to be around you, as well?
That's my experience.
@@dennismclaurin1487 at this point who cares. It's all about your serenity and mental health. The more people you have around you, the more those two are in jeopardy.
I'm a misanthropist ..
"If you don't like being around people, you're not alone"..... or are you?! 🤭
@@dennismclaurin1487that too. If youre not a likeable person than ofcourse no one will like you or treat you how you want. I was an unlikeable person at some point. Smelly, clingy, and sensitive lmao. I hated myself so i blamed it on society.
I was terrible with women so i turned to the red pill. It taught me how to have boundaries. Not with just women anybody. Then recently i learned about attachment styles. I then stopped following the redpill. I learned that alot of their advice made me have an avoidance attachment style but hey i stopped being a emotional crybaby. But once i learned how to be able to love & forgive & walk away everything just fell into place. Im still learning and working on myself to become secure.
Overall i learned that you cant be an overly emotional, lazy, clingy, butthurt baby and expect to have people want to hang out with you.
Nothing wrong with being a introvert but dont complain saying its the worlds fault you ate lonely.
I found the more I try to make friends the more I prefer to be by myself
I remember trying to be outgoing in high school. It never worked out and i felt like such a phony. Introverts in an extroverted world are often made to feel there is something wrong with them. I read a book called "Quiet" by Susan Cain and it validated who i was and that there was nothing wrong with it. My pets help immensely and i know that i am never truly alone because God is with me.
Introverts are likely more intelligent. The person in the corner not saying anything probably has the answer. I read Ms. Cain’s book. Society does not value introverts like they do extroverts. That is a mistake.
i wonder how many extroverts are actually being authentic though , thats hard to measure but id imagine its not a large portion .
I love this, You are right . We are truly never alone. Thank you ❤
I am a 100% extrovert and most of my friends are introverts and my husband is an introvert. I moved from Co. out to Va. and one of my closest married introvert friends, of 38 years, is moving out here with her husband so we can stay close to each other. My husband and me talk all the time and we totally balance each other. I had a bf before my husband that told me it was never easier to talk with someone and he actually was surprised at how much he talked around me. The balance between an introvert and extrovert can be very satisfying.
@@rottweilerventuresregister7293 i agree. If everyone was an introvert like me, life would be boring.
I have my own way of thinking and I am confident about that.Therefore,I prefer being alone most of the time.😇
Good for you ☺️
Same way
Same here
Ditto
Yes, we have a different thought process that most do not understand.
I wouldn’t say I’m happy being alone/like this but I feel safer being alone. I’ve been lied to, manipulated and abused by most people in my life so being alone means I don’t get hurt anymore. I can’t afford to pay someone to “fix” me so I fit into the societal norm.
I hear you and feel you loud and clear
"Dta" Don't trust anybody"
Wow how did u handle that
@@dennismclaurin1487ditto
Does family ever pressure you over children/family legacy?
Being alone is a strength😊❤
This video is amazing!!! I'm an introvert & I have MAJOR trust issues. I have endured a LOT of trauma, bullying & slander. I have had people lie on me & litterally try to ruin my life. I've been labeled "antisocial", "snooty", "rude" "mean", "stuck up", "prissy" & "hateful" for not being a people person, for not immediately liking people & for saying "NO" & setting boundaries. In addition, I find most people to be boring, unintelligent & fake. From what I have experienced most people are users, abusers, narcs, ego-maniacs, back stabbers, gossipers, draining, controlling, pushy, aggressive, cruel & sociopathic. The more I get to know people the less I like them. I deal with people as little as possible, I'm civil to people, but deep down I really don't like them. I adore animals & prefer to be around my pets ❤️ the hobbies I have are hobbies that don't include others. I am happiest & most comfortable when I am completely alone. I feel there is nothing wrong with me being a loner, it keeps the drama & bs that people bring at bay. I will never conform to what others think I should be & I will never apologize for being myself.
Good for you. After a lifetime of "people pleasing" (even though I've never liked humans and intentionally did not reproduce them), I have come to the same conclusion, which keeps being reinforced in real time with ongoing volunteer work and neighbors.
Too much selfishness and narcissism and drama for my taste.
You sound like an infj which I am. I completely agree with every single word you typed and have had the exact same experience with life. I'm 47 and old enough now to where I just don't care whatsoever about what all those types of people think about me.
Your post is exactly my experience.
@@johnnycorn7225 oh wow.....actually I took the personality test & it said I was an INTJ 🤷🏻♀️
@@lovelystarchild yup pretty close, I knew it
Exactly!!!! I love animals Soo much too. They are the only reason I have love in my heart anymore.
I feel more at peace when I’m by myself. I enjoy being alone. Most people are draining, some are okay.
Honestly, people are exhausting. I need my quiet time alone to recuperate.
I’m an introvert. I talk a lot, but to myself .
I read somewhere that people who talk to themselves are very smart. I had an operation recently and the surgeon was talking to himself or in the drugged state I was in I thought he was...it was very comforting to me.
@@jewelsbyk I talk to myself has well also too my cat
Me too! Just don't answer yourself back. Lol
Didn't have a problem being around people when I was younger but as I got older and more experiances with people and from what I see all around, I became all too aware of how shallow, materialistic, overly sensitive, self centered too many people are and ultimately brought unnecessary nor desired B.S. and pain into my life, I reached a point I didn't have a desire to have so called friends or even aquaintenses in my life anymore. Its been some 20 years now and I can say my life has been soooo much better. All I have and nead is my family.
100% true, but I don't have real family which I can feel connected tbh
Here to Stay! Can't bear people only a selection few 🇬🇧
Agree and I feel the exact same.
Being alone is never about being lonely for me. I chose to be alone b/c I enjoy my own company infinitely more than I do the company of others, especially the liars, back stabbers, gossipers, opportunists, social climbers etc., that took everything from me and left when I no longer served their purposes. Now, I'm blissful that I nurture my introversion without being ashamed of it. You are the only person that you will be with every single day of your life for the rest of your life, so you better learn to like yourself! 😄
I'm not shy or quiet in public. I can easily talk to anyone or speak in front of a crowd. I just prefer being alone because I totally enjoy living in my own head.
Thats not good...living in your own head is a recipie to develop anxiety. You need to practice living outside your head, in the present moment - thats the only reality. Inside your head you dwell on the past and future way too much.
@@donkey3187 bro shut up. Talking your a$$ off isn’t too good. We live to stay quiet and away from irritable people like you. I don’t care about most people and for great reason. They’re not smart. That’s the main one
Are you a maladaptive daydreamer? I am.
@@evalehde3869 Didn't know it had a name till I looked it up. It does help me escape the endless 'what ifs'. I'm 67 now & not going to change, but I think a younger person may want to live life in the moment & consider addressing it. Not sure. I've always been quite happy in the latest head story. LOL.
@@Bess9779 same.. I’m 61 and about a year ago I just googled, “excessive daydreaming” and stumbled on the work of Eli Somer. It was good to know I’m not the only one in the world. Not likely to change for me either.
I like keeping to myself because I’m surrounded in a world of fake people
Say it again PLEASE! 💯
Be yourself. Alone is fine...conforming is a drain on your spirit. Just treat others well.
Yes right.
Yeah, but human beings are social beings by nature and studies show people are healthier and happier with a least one or two good relationships. I get that some like to be alone more than others...nothing wrong with that. But always being alone with zero relationships screams disfunction, social anxiety, and unhappiness at some level.
Rom.12:2
I don't like conforming to the herd mentality, really draining on my spirit.
Nobody treats me well because I am a foreigner...
I’m 52 yrs. Old and have never enjoyed being in social situations, with the exception of being with a significant other. It’s ok to feel this way; you may never change and that’s ok; that’s you. Don’t ever feel that there’s something wrong with you. It’s who you are and who you should allow yourself to be. Be happy and don’t try to fit into someone else’s idea of normal. A lot of people can’t stand to be alone with themselves.
I hate how society makes "shy" people look as if there is something wrong with them. Especially shy kids. If anything shyness should be treated as a virtue. Shyness means you're innocent and pure and that's VERY rare in this cruel world we live in today so I've learned to embrace it and I'm proud of being introverted. I don't need to explain myself to anyone!
We all answer to God.
Being an introvert doesn't mean you're shy
I’m shy and don’t like being around people for too long.
And hell we’re not even shy
Strangers are potential enemies not friends until they prove otherwise.
I was bullied horribly when I was younger. I have no desire to be in crowds, have no friends and even have a job where I work alone for the majority of each shift. The only reason I leave the house is work and/or having to shop. And that is just fine by me. I can relate to at least three items on this list.
So was I. Writing about really helps. Going to a shrink can be helpful, but writing is something you can do for free. Trust me, it will help. Good luck. You are worth it.
I am sorry. Human beings can be so horrible. But good ones are out there. I hope things are better for you now and that you’re happy.
@@Sunflowermeadows777 I'm happy alone. When I try to be social, that's when I'm depressed, unhappy and just want to get away.
wow thanks for sharing, that hit close to home
Be sure you’re not alone. A lot of people have similar experiences.
i love my life now. i am retired. i dont have to go out into the world to make a wage. i dont have to battle evil co workers who just cant seem to leave someone alone to do their job. me and hubby made it thru. we are retired. Praise be! hes more social but lately hes been realizing how lovely our privacy is. how we can go back to bed every morning.we set our own hours. the grown children and grands and great grands come over. that is more than enough visitng for us.
I consider myself an extreme introvert, if not only for my job maybe I can go for weeks or months without human interaction and the fact that I live alone for years, a keen observer and seen how other humans behave Ive choose to set aside myself and isolate most of the time enjoying my own company...a "modern day hermit" in other words 😁
same.
You described me perfectly!
I always tell people if I were the last person on earth…I would be OK🙂
@@suecleveland3226well only us can understand each other 😁 and one more thing, we do hate physical interactions but we're out and loud online 😂
Here here. Me too I am my happiest alone. I love to entertain myself.
It's nice to be alone. You can revive yourself from annoying people outside.
Introvert, I love being on my own, I enjoy my own company. Blessed be. ♥️♥️♥️
There is a big difference between social avoidance and be happy to be yourself and enjoying doing your own thing. People who like to be alone don't necessarily have all these fears, it's a fallacy. Some might but many just love their independence and don't enjoy small talk, or superficiality. When we meet people who are healthy we are happy to interact ✌
There are both...there are a lot of people who are miserable and lonely due to their social anxiety.
Many though try to rationalize social anxiety with "thats just how I am". Most people are healthier and happier with at least one or two close relationships in their life to share life with.
Stated to perfection!
I agree. I don't like superficiality at all. I can talk endlessly with people who aren't egocentric.
How you know someone is safe though ?Men I mean ? Everyone got tats everyone is weird in public seriously I'm not shy either I'm in Texas homophobia central and Spanish speaking ignorant Mexicans .
As a child,the bulk of the attention I received from my parents was in the form of yelling and threats. Never any praise,no,”we’re proud of you!”,never even a simple “I love you.” Not once. Those who society tells you you can trust have been anything but trustworthy,so yeah,I have “trust issues”.
I recently went through a very difficult situation and had to do it alone,not because I have no friends,I do and they’re a VERY small group. It was because I was isolated far from home,and those I thought I could trust turned their backs on me when I was no longer of any use to them.
As I said,I have a very small group of friends who I can trust implicitly,but all in all I prefer the company of my dog to that of anyone else.
Before investing too much time in a person. Observe them around different situations. Eventually they will show you who they truly are. Then decide whether they are a keeper or to just let them go.
I too can relate to a lot of what you went through. My brother and I were Emotionally Neglected by our parents. My mom worked all the time because my dad was an alcoholic. My parents were too busy fighting with each other all the time. Not much love in our household. My brother and I are doing our best to walk the path of life. Some days are good...others, well you know. Take care all and know there is someone who loves all of you and wishes only the best for you in your lives. Take care. Cheers
Your parents sound like narcissists and you may be the family scapegoat. Look it up on RUclips, it may speak to your trauma.
I know the feeling.
I’m so sorry. I know how that goes but I went no contact with the thing that gave birth to me and that entire side of the family as soon as I could. My da sheltered me as much as he could, even putting in the divorce papers that all Holidays from school were his and my grandparents. I don’t even know if my egg donour is alive.
Being an empath makes it difficult because I pick up others feelings. I enjoy my own company 😊
Facts
Same
yeah
As a child I was constantly bullied in school which led to my low self esteem and to become an introvert. I do have very few friends that I know I can trust, but still I've become so accustomed to being alone that I prefer it. It's so true being around people just drains me physically and emotionally. When I'm alone I feel happy and super charged !!! ☺️
A pet will love you always and they are great company ❤
That’s my story , also .
This resonates with me on every level. I don't need people or their validation which is why I have never been or ever will be lonely.
You nailed it....validation. Most need attention to feel important. I have never needed others to feed my self esteem. That comes from within.
That's it. I was married for 19 years and was still alone. I prefer my own company most of the time, yet I do have a large group of good friends. I can entertain myself for hours or days. Always building or planning something. Most people bore me. I dont like to waste time.
"The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog."
Mark Twain/American Play Writer
100% 👍
I agree
You couldn't make more sense!!
Yep 👍 most people don’t care about you they care about themselves
Especially if the dog is a Havanese. Totes adorable.
I’m an introvert and I dislike small talk, loud people and fakeness
For me, it's that I'm an introvert, I've had social anxiety from as far back as I can remember, cptsd from traumatic experiences and alot of trust issues, low self esteem etc it's always nice when you can find someone who relates and /at least understands and doesn't criticize for needing time alone.. Thanks for the video!!!!
I feel ya and it's all real....recently I got some peace...just too exhausted to give a damn. And it was great to relax even from exhaustion
I had a wife for 30 years we stood by each other through thick and thin then one day she simply said. I dont love you any more and im leaving. Now all i have for a friend is my beagle. Its somthing you never get over no matter how much time passes and you beat yourself up non stop wondering what you could have done to change things
@@richardclintonjonesjones1807 Stop beating yourself up. She was the one who left. You can't control what other people do. It's hard enough controlling our own actions.
I can relate, but social anxiety, like any anxiety, isnt healthy for you. You need to work on geting to meett people on some level. Avoidance just make the anxiety stronger.
“Do you like being alone? If so you’re not alone.” Lmao.
Best comment by far
🤣💀🤦
Lol
Yep.
That's freaking funny !!
All my life, I preferred being around animals than people. And still do to this day. In my opinion, animals have always seemed more understanding. I have Asperger's, and littleraly always thinking. Other people annoy me, so I don't usually like being around them. Even during family events, I pretty much keep to myself.
Yep. I'm the same. This video, I'm number one, and three. I can function ok in social settings, work, appointments, so forth. But, I don't get involved in useless conversations. Small talk ain't my thing. I do best with my own company and my beautiful cat. Family can drive you crazy with noise. I have 2 family members and when they talk, omg, it's constant, loud, and I slip away. Everybody is different and that's beautiful.
❤❤❤
LoL...no, you dont have to earn the love of a dog or cat...they usually give it freely and uconditinoally...its lazy love on your part. People require thinking, and developing the relationship...and they have their own mind and views. Of course you find animals easier...everyone does. lol
I"VE BEEN "LABELED" WITH SO MANY WORDS. I DONT GIVE A -------- WHAT PEOPLE SAY NOW. ITS A NEW GENERATION WHO "BELIEVES" IN "HATE"
@DONKEY Most people also go to far at times and try to project onto others who don't ask for it. That's not lazy on our part, it's about respect which some people either lack or just don't care to have.
They are draining , toxic and I don’t want to be drained so I choose carefully who I allow in my company .
In the words of Jean-Paul Sartre, "If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company".
Was he talking about Paul Rodgers?
@@9Ballr Jean-Paul Sartre was born June 21, 1905 in Paris, France-died April 15, 1980. He was a French philosopher, novelist, and playwright. He was also a key figure in the existentialism philosophical movement.
I guess an important lesson to learn from this is to not force anything, friendships, relationships etc. Don’t force it, otherwise it’ll just come across as phony.
true...that is what i have learnt recently...
I like being alone because I’m no longer suicidal and I can finally be around myself without hurting myself
Thank goodness for that.
Too many people trying to put you down
The older I get,I’m 62,
I’ve experienced all of these things over the years.
I prefer to keep people at a distance.
I’ve been hurt so many times by people I thought were friends,and my extended family too.
I just have my immediate family,who I can always count on.
I'll be this age in 3w
We have things in common
Most other people just bug the shit out of me. Not everybody, but I choose to be alone most of the time because the odds of coming across those people increase with every passing day. Nothing personal… it is what it is. Some folks I really love, but they are few and far between.
"I like individuals...but I HATE people!" :P Seriously though same here. So many adults seem so...immature or just dumb. I know it's probably not true from an outside perspective, but that's how most people come across to me. I find I can more often get along with older teens and young adults (age 16~22), but I'm at that age now where I'm having a hard time keeping up with the young crowd anymore, so that's slowly going out the window too. ^^;;
@@Sanquinity And they say as one gets older, they get wiser. I find that to be an understatement. You really hit the nail on the head when you pointed out that many adults are dumb. That manifests itself in more ways than one.
I like some people...not many though
I need that on a t shirt : people bug the shit out of me,nothin personal 🙌🏼.
I have one which reads ' want coffee,not your opinion'.I wear that AND my scowl face and somehow people still dont seem to get the message 🤔. Am 40 and divorced but got no cats.Maybe people will leave me alone if I get cats? Then I will be the complete ' grumpy old woman with cats ' 🤔 I hope that chases people away 🤞🏽
@@sadia2395 Got one myself that says "I'm responsible for what I say, not for what YOU understand." Since people LOVE misinterpreting what you say and assuming the worst possibility for some reason.
As an introvert, I find most conversations boring. I stopped watching television a couple of years ago and have never looked back. Too much politics in everything nowadays. I have friends, but they are all deep thinkers and have no interest in keeping up with the latest trends, topics, and modern gadgets. We smoke pipes, read books, write stories, have meaningful discussions, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Some of my friends have their own hobbies, but we always manage to converse about our differences in a calm and meaningful way. For example, I collect pocket watches, and one of my friends collects model trains. We have different hobbies, but are able to converse about our differences while being united by what we have in common. Whatever your hobby is, chances are you're not alone. If you're having trouble socializing, start with your hobbies, as I'm sure you'll be able to find some like-minded people.
Lucky you! I never had any friends with whom to share my true self. Sometimes I feel lonely, but that's life
@@雷惠英 man, solitude is heaven.
The more i learn about people,the more i like my dog- Mark Twain
Being with lots of people just drain me and I don't know why. Even if I don't interact with them it still drain my energy. Like if I go to a grocery store where there's usually lots of people, when I go home I feel so tired. Or even when I'm hanging out with friends, I might be energetic at first but later on I would feel tired and would need to stay quiet to recharge my energy. 😅
It doesn't disrupt my daily life, it's just that I get more tired with other people.
I love engaging with other people when taking a walk or in a public place; I find that after a few hours, I am exhausted as well.
However, I get uplifted when I interact with dogs while on my walk.
You have described me, almost exactly. 🙂
I feel the same. And besides, one thing that really makes me feel depleted is a small talk. If i hear chatting of this kind, my energy level shrinks just with the speed of free fall. It's like a torture for me to shove myself into this kind of interaction.
You sound very much how I am. If you haven’t yet, may I suggest that you take the Myers-Briggs personality test. You can find this on sites such as 16 personalities. Five years ago I took it and discovered that I am an INFJ personality type. Everything made so much more sense after discovering this.
I highly recommend everyone take the test, especially more introverted people.
Omgggosssh sameee!!!! I get so exhausted mentally and emotionally from people especially at work. Or even on transit where there’s people .. I just don’t like being in their presence.
I get energized with my bf and sister tho but everyone else drains me to no end. I wonder why we are so sensitive to their energy
At my age, I've let go of chasing after people to get together for social outings, and I look for opportunities to work alone. I probably have some kind of PTSD from childhood, and have struggled with "thin skin" most of my life. The more I learn about navigating through power structures, hierarchies, etc., the more my stomach turns. I try to live responsibly, respectfully, and with kindness. Happiness, Home, and Health are my priorities now. I've taken up fish keeping, and am working toward a life of productive solitude :) Thanks for this video!
Chronic neck and back pains makes one stay away FROM TOXIC people..pains 24 hrs day drains you..
I've been around psychologists, I've been around psych patients in their care, and have not known a single person that _'therapy'_ ever helped. Usually, the _contrary_ took place and they became drugged-out zombies. You don't need 'therapy' if you prefer solitude, peace and quiet as opposed to raucous, pushy, rude, thoughtless, inconsiderate people with no self-awareness or self-discipline. _You just need distance from them._
Exactly Carl good of you to post your experience it has been the same with me thank you all the best in this life
I used to go to therapy for my manic depression. I was prescribed pills that were said to help my mental well-being. I took one.I slept long. That was it. The prescribed dose was low(5 mg.)
She wanted to up the dose. I never took anymore pills. She believed that the pills would help me see the world in a better way and light. I believe I see the world exactly as it is. That helped me deal with the adversities I face daily Pills aren't going to stop people from reacting negatively to my hideous, pathetic appearance, which I began noticing, after getting sick from kissing a prostitute in 1983. God knows I have a story to tell. Prov.7, beginning in verse 6, is like reading about myself in 1983.What led me in that path, is a whole other story, which I believe dates back to 1969, when I was young, innocent, and most vulnerable. I remember another incident from the same cousin several years later
@luckystar4370exactly. This is the true therapy
I had an extremely abusive childhood, that went on all through my life! I have experienced relentless abuse, bullying, gaslighting, cruelty and criticism by my evil mother! This has left me with all sorts of horrifying results, like learning difficulties, a total lack of self belief and confidence - I am now 63 years old and still learning about Adverse Childhood Abuse. I'm actually having to teach myself not to trust other people! As I never learned who to trust and not to trust.
I'm sorry you went through that hopefully things will look up for you
Sorry you had to go through but even though evil exists the world can be beautiful. Continue to know that you are special and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
My mother wasn't purposely abusive but Obsessive/Compulsive and a very nervous person with self esteem issues. She unwittingly taught low confidence to all her children.
It has been tough to overcome and become my own nurturing parent. I am slowly coming to trust what I see and have the confidence to walk away.
I'm your age.
ITS HARD TO FIND TRUSTWORTHY PEOPLE LIKE MY FRIENDS IN NEBRASKA MAI & JAKE
Me-#7 and #8 for sure...and #9 and #10
Recently 2 of my longtime friends that I see 2-4 times a year invited me to a weekend getaway I told them I’ve been depressed & in a couple months maybe I’ll feel differently & to go ahead with out me this time . They got upset & completely took it personally & told me I left them “hanging” by not giving them any future dates to meet up with them ….now they aren’t talking to me & to be honest I’m kind of relieved . I’m very much an introvert & suffer from depression but when I tell them I don’t feel up to doing something they make me the bad guy & I’m tired of it
I am an extrovert and it doesnt matter if your in or ex people act like this because they don't get it. Extroverts can get sad too. When someone gets mad at you it is always a second emotion, not the 1st. The 1st emotion is almost 100% sadness. So when you told them no you made them hurt or sad. They stopped talking to you because they think YOU don't like them since you dissed them (is what they think). They think YOU don't want anything to do with them. If you do want someone to be there let them know who you are and if you decide not to do something it is because your overwhelmed but you would love to hear about the trip later. This type of approach will help. Depression stinks, we all get it in varying degrees, extroverts and introverts. We all feel the same inside no matter how we approach the world. I hope you smile
You deserve better than that.
Do you love yourself first many people wouldn't last an hour in your life don't waste your precious energy and time worried about what your life looks like to others focus on what brings you peace and joy and if you don't want to be bothered with people and don't want to take trips you don't have to it's your life and your decision I completely understand choosing peace choosing quiet choosing to be in a space that makes you comfortable oftentimes I hear people speak of the comfort zone is a bad thing let me tell you something comfortable is a good thing and don't let anybody tell you different because you have a right to live your life in a way that works best for you not friends best for you not family best for you and it shouldn't be up for discussion self-love is the number one love I applaud you for choosing you!!!!!
Your friends did you a favor! You don’t need them!
If u were my friend, I won't hold it against u and try to get u to hang out wit me more. If u truly don't wanna hang, I'd give u yo space and still keep in touch. Tha problem is, I can't be certain u gon' do tha same for me or stab me in tha back like everyone else. I swear bruh, it's sad how most peepz give up on peepz and immediately judge dem for it. U were honest wit 'em and they still got sh*t to say smh
Many people intentionally set out to hurt others. We have to guard our hearts. 💕
If you think demons and warlocks can’t hop from person to person in our Godless culture, you haven’t been around for long.
Bullied all my life by teachers, classmates and relatives. Sometimes people and strangers in public tease the way i look. Even my own biological father and people i have given my trust entirely betrayed me. I'd rather be alone so that people will stop hurting me
💖🤗🤗🤗❤
I'm so sorry what you've been thru I can relate to you in so many ways. Just know that you are beautiful and you are loved by Jesus. He's all I have and He and music and art is my outlet. Be encouraged my luv!
Story of my life
Don’t forget doctors and agencies smh
You missed one reason why to avoid people and that is i just don't like people. I am very social at work and in public but when I'm at home I just want to be left alone
In other words you get plenty of social contact during your day.
Exactly same here..
I've gone from introvert to extrovert and back to introvert. Most people (98%) don't add anything positive to my life. If anything, they add negative.
I don't get lonely, but I'm dying for meaningful conversations. I have come to the conclusion they're not to be had anymore.
My definition of friends is different from theirs, they're your friend as long as they can get something from you. It's not mutual.
I do just fine by myself and get a lot more done. I don't know if I still even like people.
it would be a lovely thing to have a meaning ful conversation with someone!
sure they are..go into discussion boards online...lots of people like to talk about lots of subjects
Well stated and described exactly the way I feel.
I finally got tried of betrayal and deception; I lost trust and it's gone until I am.
But still , to be introvert and extravert is even possible.
@@Tweedewoning It is possible to do.
I don't mind being around people. It is the small talk and gossip that i can't stand.
This video really drove home the point that we all can't be people person's.
Michael Clark, I used to be a people person but not anymore. I get so drained being around people. It maybe cause I'm younger now ( 61 ) 😂.
As an introvert, it’s taken me years to accept who I am. I always used to find it so painfully difficult when it came to being an upbeat, chatty person. I would be so drained to the point where my muscles would ache.
I just think that people have no right to make you feel bad about your quiet personality. Nor they should make it seem so obvious that they are bored to be in your presence. It’s not like we introverts tell the extroverts how boring they are to us 🙃
The point is, don’t force conversations, friendships or relationships just to please people. The right ones will come and it will feel like a breeze!
Wanna make an Introvert babe
👌🏻👌🏻
Most people are alot of work, complicated, insensitive, self-centered, opinionated, unfeeling, lack compassion, and lack empathy. Just feel sorry for them and do not internalize their problems . Just be yourself and be proud of yourself and who you are.
Exactly introverts just know who to feel comfortable talking to with when the time comes.
😊😊😊
I trust absolutely no one 100 percent. Been kicked too many times by various persons. My biological father is very self centered, my stepfather and mother always put themselves first. In 5th grade I had entered a contest and my entry for art work went to the finals in NYS . When I told my mom and stepfather they refused to take me because it was an hour drive each way. As I was already bullied at school by classmates and teachers as well as family this was a crushing blow. Afterwards my personality changed from being very outgoing to keeping to myself and not talking. It wasn't till years later when I turned my back on most of the family and moved far away did the positivity return. I still prefer being alone but am now comfortable with having some friends around. Still though the trust is gone. Determined that most people are narcissistic jerks .
That’s fucked up what they did. What an opportunity they missed.
I just love how everyone has the answer as to why
This video was posted by ppl whom Id.never be friends w. List makers who know everything judgemental arrogant banal uncreative minds
At 57 after a busy career with travel and all the socializing I could ever want, I cherish my solitude. I have no problem whatsoever being alone and other than my husband avoid others most of the time. I’m completely happy the way I am. Others annoy tf out of me. 👍🏻
Yeah, but you have a husband...so thats another person,..its not solitude.
@@donkey3187 - don’t assume you know things….a military spouse is away for nearly a year at a time. Many, many years of a career. 🙄
I'm an introvert myself people are only getting worse way worse I'd prefer my pets
@@louisegilleran7773 pets are shallow, lazy love, you dont have to earn their love or trust, or compromise on anything. People require actual work and compromise to develop a relatonship. You arent an introvert, you are just lazy..and probably suffering from social anxiety.
@DONKEY You really need to stop making assumptions about people you don't know. Being an introvert and being lazy are 2 different things. It also has nothing to do with social anxiety.
I'm a very social and enjoy interacting with other people. However, I would prefer to be alone. I don't have to feed my ego nor do I play head games. So many people these days are self-serving and insecure. I'm happier without the distractions that keep me from creating my artwork and/or finding inner peace. But, I'm only one voice.
Me too.
Absolutely right 👍
Definitely an ego and mind games with some people...
ur not alone about this
I am socially isolated and have not been part of a social herd since 2000. I can not give up all the freedom, independence, self-reliance, knowledge, and simplicity, I have gained by being socially isolated, to just find the modern version of what a, "friend," is. A modern, "friend," is just a low level invader that has entered your life and is waiting for you to show weakness so they may lunge at the opportunity to take advantage of you when you are down. It is unlikely I will ever have a friend, nor a girlfriend, again. I learned from my painful experience. Nobody today can be a true friend to those that are rather withdrawn to start. We are looked upon like freaks. Social people and reclusive people should never mix. Other than the species they all happen to be, they share nothing in common.
I don't mind being around people as long as I know them. Too many strangers around me makes me feel uncomfortable due to my social anxiety. I actually like my own company and being by myself is when I'm the most relaxed and comfortable.
I'm a loner. I love being alone. I'm an introvert. I know how to socialize well. I stopped hanging out because I realized that I don't have friends that would come pick me up to hang out. All my friends always want me to drive or come pick them up. The one friend who doesn't have a car or job, always trying to hang out with me. I don't understand. I just want a friend who will call me and tell me to get dressed and they're about to come pick me up to hang out. All I get is "pull up on me bro"
In my observations I find that many people are impatient, have short attention spans, and only care about what youre saying if it benefits them. That being said, I am grateful when I encounter someone who doesn't possess these traits, and I'm likely to either befriend them or remember them because they stood out.
That's so true!!! and you really have to be careful of the company you keep!!! Not everyone has your best interest at heart!!!
Exactly. It killed my soul a little every time I was mid sentence & the other person just looked over me, to the side or interrupted me . Makes one feel very small. So now, it’s my husband, my dogs & a small circle of friends. No more self impressed, arrogant loud people, family or not. Buh bye…lol
@@tangela0725 they take our good hearts & see it as a weakness, I found out the hard way as well. I help animal shelters now, that’s it.
@@kimwarner1681 They sure do!!! and I really don't blame you either!!!
@@kimwarner1681 Amen!!!
What hurts is not that ur Alone but what pains is the feeling that no one cares
And you know what? They don’t. They only care about themselves. There is a saying, they only come to you when they need you.
@@ravenmeyer3740 perfectly said
@@ravenmeyer3740 Yes... This is the story of my life...
Yes I'm a really nice sweet caring understanding chill person and try to see good in most people and tell them things to support them and be positive and never do anyone bad but my family just thinks I guess im not good enough that way. So I cut them off. Sometimes they even talk shit to me for being such an animal advocate. I just get pissed and leave and now I never show up or respond to them. They are so rude not getting what I love and not at least respecting me and it. I would never do them like that. Now I will though. I cry alone sometimes and feel like I deserve someone nice that sees my trying hard and my soul and appreciates me and values my opinion. I do that for people sometimes I barely know. It's really hard. I feed stray pets everyday and that fills me with love but then I worry about them Soo much too. Thank you.
@@gailmgreenlee7039 ooh dia that hurts I wish I can give you a big hug just for comfort
Before pandemic, I could say that I was an extrovert person... I am not used to going out alone, eating, watching movie..etc. as much as possible, I try to find someone who can come with me. When pandemic occured, with the social distance thing.. at first it was very hard for me. I even felt depressed being alone. But overtime, I got to love it... the solitude life. I got to enjoy doing things on my own..And appreciate it. I love alone time now.
I don't like being around people cause they are not dedicated to reaching their potential or problem solving. I feel diluted when around others.
Whatever the reason may be, it's important to figure out what makes you happy and what makes you feel fulfilled. Spending time alone can be a great way to recharge and focus on your own needs, and there's nothing wrong with that. If being around other people just doesn't do it for you, there's no shame in embracing your introverted nature.
I have never been a fan of my fellow human beings. That stems from issues experienced as a child by teachers, classmates, and my own siblings. I have always been a loner, ever since I was a toddler, really. I have never liked being around a bunch of people unless it was for a concert or other event I wanted to be at. I have found that most people do not like me because I am "different." So, I keep to myself for the most part.
And what about communicating with only one person simultaneously? Especially if they are close to you. Do you enjoy that kind of communication?
💜me too
When I was young I was social and popular. When I got older, I changed to being happier being by myself. However, being social is definitely the advantage in the business world.
Yeah even my own family sucks the life out of me dogs r better
The fact that you love and like yourself is all that matters.☺
Try being most of this list and dealing with a narcissist. It's beyond difficult! I did it for 10 years and it almost put me over the edge. I'm away from that person now and feel so much better.
Don't waste your time hoping that a narcissist will try to change. They won't.
Yup... All the above. I've come to terms with the fact that I'll never know what it feels like to be loved. My family severely bullied me, I was then also bullied at school, ignored at college and now ignored by coworkers.
I've spent my life being polite, reserved, friendly, helpful... but it seems like all I get in return is hate.
Eventually, I've learned to truly despise people.
To be fair... there are a few little angels in this world that have shown me love: my dogs. No human was ever kind to me. If, one day, androids take over the world, I'll be on their side.
This is me. Don’t like to be the centre of attention and keep to myself. I really don’t like crowds. I do not like to talk about myself and notice that when I am in groups, I feel like I’m asking mundane questions. Not who I am and I love my own company. I do not judge anyone and let people be. Glad I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing .
Same here . I don’t judge ppl. I let them be . I wish others would give me the same courtesy in return .
Well all but one or two of these things apply to me; no big surprise. It was refreshing to watch a video on this subject that doesn't go on to tell me that preferring to be alone is always an illness or a problem. The older I get, the less I feel weird or wrong about wanting to be alone most of the time. For the past 10 years, the only real socializing I've done has been here on RUclips. I say "thank god for social media" because it allows me to socialize when and how I feel comfortable doing so. Blessings to all of us who are quiet and more comfortable at home... 😊☮💚🌸
Me too. Except some special disorders like Asperger or else.
And for me RUclips is a kind of social net too, like for you, though i also watch lots of videos here.
Preferring to be alone can always turn into an illness and problem when you try to get around people
It's hopeless, having to feel accepted by the world.
I love being alone. I’m a HAPPY camper when I’m in retreat of my own world. I am social when I need to be and enjoy social interaction. I am a authentic introvert.
Whenever somone talks to me, I get easily annoyed and irritated, but at the ame time I want friends because there's nobody who actually likes me or spends time with me, so that's probably why I don't know how to socialize and get easily annoyed and irritated. I also don't want to run the chance of getting backstabbed or having fake friends.
having many "friends" and social crowds only opens the door wider for problems to enter your life...