“They Should Have Their Butts Kicked!”
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2023
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It never ceases to amaze me how family members are a fine and dandy with each other until someone dies. I hope I don't become a bitter, old, money-grabbing, hoarder. On that note, I'm off to make a will.
Often I feel it's a result of survivors not understanding one another's motives and rationale. Also people can be irrational, and not understand *why* you should get extra.
Or they're just greedy and inconsiderate.
Late 60s and her mom was still alive. What a blessing to have her mom that long.
depends on the mom.
@@janelleg597 true. Was just thinking about my own mom.
It depends on the health of the mom. If the sister had to live on that property and provide eldercare for 5 years that could have been as simple as doing the shopping, cleaning the house, cooking and making sure the electric bill got paid. But if the sister was providing bathing, toileting, medication management and possibly watching over a dementia patient that would be something else entirely.
Mine lasted until I was 18 yrs old . Single mom
Her mother may have had her in her late teens? People married young during her generation.
My parents died without a will. It was 15 of us. The State stepped in and told us that if we fought over our parents' property, they would sell it and split the money among us. We quickly came up with a game plan, and the property was split evenly.
Split like you sold the property or you guys keep the property?
@@unfairsanic5089 We kept the land
I take care of my mom. She and no one else owes me jack. I'm a grown *ss man with money & integrity.
I think it's fair to expect your siblings to contribute though. What that contribution *is*, is up to you guys.
Laughed pretty heartily at the loopooooooong silence when Dave asked why they shouldn’t benefit more after they put money into the property and she didn’t. Figure out a fair value of the improvements, assign that to each respective party, and divide the rest evenly. That may be easier said that done, to be fair.
Women are solipsistic. If a situation benefits them, they don’t care about fairness. They care about what will give them the most. That’s their nature unfortunately
I would normally agree but it seems like those siblings took advantage of their mother and received their extra benefits before she died. It's far too common unfortunately. So I say all everything split it evenly and part ways, at least 2 of those siblings sound like they are greedy,manipulating scum. 150k to take care of your mother! Really? Scum!
Who cares? Why should they CONTINUE to be parasites even after their matriarch died? If they wanted all of their investment to be theirs, they could have built elsewhere. They can go kick rocks. She should take a third of it. F 'em (it was their attitude when they were taking advantage of their mom)!
@@dano8613150k for adult care Is cheap my guy. I'm a firm believer in whoever takes care of the parent last gets the majority of everything
Is the hemp is the kind you use to get high or the edible hemp seeds you buy from the regular grocery store?
The sister took care of the mom. The brother took care of the property. She did nothing and wants to get 1/3 of the value of everything. NO WAY.
I agree in principle, but the sister got years of free rent. Was she "taking care of mum" by wiping her butt and administering medication, or just by going out and getting the mail between Netflix binges?
Did the brother actually add value to the land? Or just try to take advantage of it for his Hemp business?
Questions like these need to be in the mix.
I told my dad that I didn’t want any of his lands and property and told him to give it to the remaining siblings. A few of my siblings opted out too. The worst thing that can happen to siblings is to fight for property. It’s stupid and never ends well.
My brother is getting everything from my mom. She doesn't have much anyway, other than a house that may or may not be paid off by then, and my brother helped her off financially more than I did, so I'm okay with this arrangement. It won't result in any chaos.
She needs to pay her family back with her 3rd. The sister caring for her mother should have monetary value
@@auburnanger6679 I totally disagree. If the sister AND her kids are living on the property, rent free, then she's already been paid. That's over a thousand dollars of value she gains every month. If their mom needed extra care, then the sister should be reimbursed for any expenses she paid herself--like prescriptions, nursing, physical therapy, etc. They need to be honest about how much the sister really contributed--how much trouble was mom? If sis had to put her own life on hold, then yeah, she should be paid for that. Otherwise, no.
@@cariwaldick4898
I agree with what you stated. Dave even stated the same thing.
@@Dreamprism You are a good brother
She sounds like the one being unfair. Her sister took care of her mother, her siblings raised the value of the property by investing in it, and her mom put her brother in charge of the will. Now she comes back after not being around wanting everything split evenly. If I were the siblings I’d get as far away from her as quickly as possible.
Those are good points.
it did kinda sound that way. hopefully she will take daves advice and let them get more from the property they put money into.
Daughter and all her kids got free rent. Son put a $50,000 building, not a $500,000. The trust is legally binding. I'm not feeling sorry for a couple of people fighting over $2.2 million. 😂
@@Elizabeth_lowkeyluxuries And she never had to worry once about her mother's eldercare situation because her sister had stepped up and handled it. She is not the one having to worry about acting as the trustee. She is also not the one who had put her own money into the property, thereby increasing its value. She needs to be fair. It's better to accept a little less in a situation like this when all she's doing is collecting her share after the others have all put in the work.
Yeah she kept on weaseling: "How do I put this.." (so I don't look bad.) "It's complicated." no it's not. Your siblings took care of your mom and her property while you were gone for years and now mom's gone you want an equal cut, and even to move in there! No way Jose, get a grip lady. Mom should've dealt with the situation better no doubt, unfortunately situations like these are not uncommon.
I love when Dave gets fired up. I recognize it’s not good for blood pressure, but it’s my guilty pleasure.
I know. I just laugh and laugh. That is what makes the show so good.
I love all your cohosts, but it's really fun when it's you and Rachel because she reacts to what comes out of your mouth like an adult daughter who loves you would!
Right? When he made the comment about Biden and she just covered her face 😂😂😂
The best pairing :)
I took care of my mom and my two siblings took care of what little inheritance our mom left. She wanted it split 3 ways - however, it was split 2. I haven't spoken to them in years as they don't want to talk to me and I am good. If they, who did not help our mom can look themselves in the mirror - fine ! Because I know I can .
Rachel is like "SO!" loud enough to stop her dad from talking!😂😂😂😂
more reason everyone should get a financial advisor , i mean a good financial coach will let you know about "the need for will" and "trust"
Distinguishing between money management and wealth accumulation is crucial, and the absence of investment education within educational systems could be a factor contributing to individuals' difficulties in sustaining their financial growth.
Agreed, financial advisors play a key role in portfolio allocation and i've been using one since late 2019 just before covid outbreak. So far, I'm barely 25% short of $1m ballpark goal after subsequent investments.
I've actually been looking into advisors lately, the news I've been seeing in the market hasn't been so encouraging. who's the person guiding you?
I'd recommend BECKY LOU GORDON. She is a genius when it comes to diversifying her holdings. You can verify her identity for yourself by looking her up online. She is well knowledgeable about the financial markets.
excellent share, just confirmed her page online after inputting her full name on my browser, she seems valid. very much appreciate it.
Mom should have worked out the estate plan decades ago. It's not fair for one of the siblings to act as the executor, or in this case, the trustee, to sort out her mess. The lesson here is to talk with your children about this subject. There have been a lot of families torn apart when trying to divide an estate.
Probably when she created the trust she was taking care of herself and the property, there weren't all of these buildings being constructed on it and there was no need for her daughter and grandkids to live on the property "rent free". Obviously, things changed and the mom's health went downhill, some of her children got more and more involved in her life while the caller remained at a distance and let things play out. Now that mom has died, the caller just wants her even cut of everything even though her siblings have sunk their own money into the property and the one sister provided home care for their elderly mom.
I bet she was too sick or mentally unwell to update it.
Imagine being in your 60s and fighting over inheritance
Yes, imagine? A lot more common than you think
Imagine how sad their mom would be hearing her children fight over the home and land that she had hoped would be a blessing to them all.
They plotted on their inheritance from teenage years. They make poor decisions for their life thinking I’m going to be rich when I get my inheritance.
@@goofygirl1311 Mom obviously didn't care enough to leave a comprehensive will that would have eliminated the confusion.
@@stevenporter863 She was old and probably a bit senile. She trusted her kids to handle things.
"If Dave dies this year . . . ." Love how he doesn't sugarcoat!
13:36 Knives Out was a great movie and a good plot twist during the "reading of the will" scene. lol
It really shows how much you were “loved” when you die and your family fights over your spoils 😒
My dad said that a woman died when he was a kid in the 1930s during the depression. She had absolutely nothing, and the kids came in and fought over every table cloth and little thing she had. I always thought that was a good lesson.
*Real talk. Mr Dave Ramsey. You can’t die anytime soon. Many of us enjoy hearing your wisdom*
I just love when people Who have no money in a situation have the loudest voice
My mother in law moved in with us at the end of her life.
She spend $20,000 to change our floor plan but them took that money out of my wife inheritance.
All good but it assumes the $20,000 increased the value of our home which it did not.
We now have to spend about $30,000 to put the floor plan back so we can sell the house.
So we are out $50,000 and have not said anything to anyone.
My wifes family are good people if we said anything they would give us some money.
But they do not have very much money.
We knew this going in so no surprises and we are OK with the decisions we made.
I am giving my children and grandchildren things they would like now. Things like paintings, books, musical instruments, keepsakes. If these items are in their homes they will love family history
YES EXACTLY. But still get a Will and Healthcare Power of Attorney. Our kids are wonderful and know/agree with who gets what, but they don't agree with my DNR wishes. So, I put it in writing.
@@pattyajones already did it.
It's not about what's fair it's about what's in the will. You split it equally and that's that
Yes Dave. Priorities for 2023 end..
1. Complete a will
2. Be debt free
3. Go to the gym 3 times a week
😊
Hahaha
It is sad that every where around me is now an apartment duplex or condo. This was once family farms. Once the old ones die off they just sell it instead of farming it
Need more zombie farmers who will keep farming after they died out
No money in farming it’s almost impossible to get a decent living, most people who farm do it for the love and love don’t pay the bills anymore
@@rory644 Plus unfair government regulations will kill small farmers in favor of the crony big food companies.
My in laws have it all figured out. They tell us that there’s a box with all their paperwork and an attorney. My parents have not planned at all.
Caller: My mom recently passed away.
Dave: She needs to have her butt kicked.
😂😂😂😂
crude
@@mistiinseattlecome on, have a sense of humor! It is all our fate!
@@mistiinseattleDave said it
Dave: How much is her yearly income, does she have a car?
Even without any assets, if you have children you MUST have a trust, will and advanced directive. If both parents die, the children are placed in foster care until the state determines who they get to go live with. In 50-50 states and with everyone on their 3rd marriages the new spouse gets EVERYTHING by default even if there’s biological children/grandchildren. Good ol California! My dads 3rd wife of SIX months snatched my dads entire estate even with me as the named beneficiary on his work financials. The only time a named beneficiary works is on a life insurance policy. All financial things will default to the spouse. My dad left a mess at 50 years old. He was healthy. Died very suddenly. The worst of all was fighting with the new wife and her five kids for three years only to end up with nothing. My dad kept telling me all she wanted was his money right before he died and he was right. Crappiset part is he probably did have a trust that she got ahold of. These aren’t filed anywhere so if it gets destroyed, or stolen, it’s null. This woman had just left my dad the week prior to his death. I believe he died of a broken heart. Can’t wait to see him again in Heaven ❤
Tell it like it is, Dave! Get a will and/or trust, yesterday!!
"It does not increase your probability of death when you do a will!" 😅
My dad didn't want my siblings (his step sons) to know what he had and therefore did not tell them on purpose. It's caused problems since he and Mom have passed, but I totally respect what Dad wanted and how he handled it even though I am now paying the price in my sibling relationships.
True..the loving and caring have different meaning!
Your dad was looking out for you if his assets were there before he married your mother.
Dave is correct on this. Take the total value, subtract what each person put in ie; buildings… and the divide the rest by 1/3. That’s pretty clean
My mother had a simple divide-it-all-evenly will until my oldest brother started talking to her about taking care of the inept siblings via her legacy. It has created bitterness, especially since these are the same siblings Mom has enabled their whole lives. They have taken and taken from Mom (and the other siblings) and ... thanks Mom.
Little brother has to put emotions aside and specifically follow terms of the trust. Those who added fixed buildings also took value from the soil, essentially a trade. Without legal agreement pertaining to their additions, those additions are now part of Mother's estate. They just have to suck it up.
The hemp grower made money.Dave is wrong.Divide it evenly.That is the law.
My grandparents were smart my Papa’s will said Mama could remain on the farm and when she died property and belongings would be sold and money divided equally among children. If you wanting something you could bid on it at the auction. It worked for the most part but one daughter stayed at the house and helped herself. Thankfully she was the only greedy one. She always was and grand mom always let her get away with it.
15:25
Rachel is loving Dave's rant😂😂😂
I love when Dave rants about the government/politicians, especially with Biden and FAUCI!!!!
Top moment 😂
Exactly this was such a good session. All it takes is some planning. And yes it’s going to be uncomfortable but grown up need to do this.
This kind of family drama is always a challenge. As a rule, anything like this should be clearly defined beforehand to prevent complications later.
These people moved onto the property after the trust was written, I’m sure.
It feels like this was clearly defined…mom clearly wanted the property split evenly. The problem isn’t in it being unclear, it’s just they don’t like the outcome. To me this seems like an easy fix…honor the will. Everyone is getting something for free, and they shouldn’t be complaining because someone else got more for free.
This is EXACTLY why I hate the concept of a shared family property. One person always ends up putting in the sweat equity to take care of the place, and everyone else wants to use it or profit off of it without contributing anything. It always ends badly.
We've told our family elders that if they want all the kids and grandkids to get along and not fight after they pass on, they need to legally document what they want to happen with their details. Period. There's a 90% chance that the kids all end up at war and the family becomes permanently broken if they don't!
Having a will does not mean the kids won't fight. If they don't like their "gift," they're gonna fight.
At least everyone knows it's what the deceased wished, and you can deem it the last word. (But it's true and everybody also knows that the malcontent(s) will not be contented, regardless :-)@@lthage373
@@lthage373 This is why they need to discuss the "gifts" while they're still alive. Deal with these disagreements before you throw in grief and confusion.
I am in financial services and I strongly recommend all my clients have a will in place. It amazes me how many don't. Also, have a medical directive in place!
Not just a Will but life insurance is well. I’m the only person in my office (30ish people) with a term policy
A will wouldn’t have hopes this situation. She already had a trust in place on the property, the problem is they don’t like the trust. They would have the same problem with a will.
@@LKS92Y yep. By the time my term life insurance expires, my retirement account will be right at seven figures.
My mom finally died "5 minutes ago" so let's start fighting over the money!
That's disgusting 😠
She said 5 months ago
@@ericakusztos3394 no put subtitles you will see.
RUclips subtitles don't always get it right.@@polares420
@@polares420 It sounds like 5 minutes... but it was 5 months.
@@TheFlyingZulu
It sounds like 5 minutes because she said 5 minutes!
Dave, you nailed it; the trust did not adjust for actions taken and the siblings took actions w/o consulting the others about repercussions. Stupid. Stupid for the trustee not to say anything. Stupid for every sibling to know about these actions and not insist on discussion. So, Much. Stupidity. Not all farm families are idiots, but these are.
Yup
Good call on the Trust
Great advice from Dave all around on this one. I totally agree with all the suggestions.
1) I love Rachel’s face while her dad is ranting about how he’s gonna die 2) I love how death positive Dave is, truly
I love Dave!!! He's the best!
Well said, I like this common sense keep it up Dave.
😂 love the last part when Ramsey goes on a rant wake people up man there crazy people out there just not listening I remember working at the bank I have seen messed up crap when parents die and all the kids cousins come out of the wood work 😂
Thank you for the insight and advice, Dave! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Oh lord! I enjoy listening to Dave and whichever cohost he’s with on any given episode. But shows like this one take that up a notch.
I helped my grandpa set up his will and trust. His kids fighting so much that the lawyer paid to do the execution of the estate returned the fees and walked away
I saw a situation recently where the lady I met and her late husband set up a trust in the mid 2000s. Then his 2 daughters got him to sign a will where he left bank accounts, cars and a house to them. The lady (stepmom) is now in a battle with the daughters in court over the assets. I’m pretty sure that since all of those assets should have been in the trust, he wouldn’t have been owners of any of the assets when the Will was signed.
@@barnabusdoyle4930 The will would have been a "pour over" will inside of the trust.
You don't have a will with a trust, the whole point is to avoid probate.
Rachel's reactions to the Dave rant is priceless
We have a will in place for our kids, but we moved states a few years ago. I didn't realize it's state specific.
You don't want to transfer property by a will.
Many States do transfer on death or Beneficiary deeds.
Death certificates and deed will be at the State>> FREE transfer.
You should always revisit your will once in x number of years depending on what life events are happening.
Dave at his best, speaking the truth.
The property should be divided equally. It was the siblings choice to put buildings on the property.
The jim bob line had me dying guess it’s time to get a will 😂😂😂😂😂
Poor Rachel keeps trying to talk and Dave is on a rampage! Lol We get it, get a will! I too get frustrated with families who fight about this stuff, it is infuriating. Write it down. Get over it. It's called adulting. We all need to do it. I'm with ya!
Caller sounds like she doesn't want to receive an inequitable share but then doesn't want her siblings to get their equitable share. When the trust says they divide the farm equally I don't think it means subdivide the land rather have an equal stake in the entire farm, but she seems to think it matters what part of the land has the buildings on it. I think its a lot simpler than the caller has in her mind, and I didn't hear any reason why they can't all sit down and figure it out.
I would love to see and here what you say during one of these will trustee talks.
My family won’t talk about it!!
3 properties, 3 kids
One property is co-owned with my dads uncle (now his daughter)
Dave keeping real
Pretty funny Dave rant
One of the more entertaining rants, Dave...
Good advice..get a will people! That's include me😢😢
I love a good Dave rant!!
I'd sell the whole thing and split the money equally and walk away.
The issue is the siblings put buildings on it with their own money so thus they 'should' get more of the money if they sell it... It's a screwed up situation for sure.
In our culture, we don't talk about death or money. And this topic involves both. If you do try to be the adult and insist on things being in writing or split up equitably, you're seen as heartless or a money-grubber.
"You don't trust your family??"
No, I don't. Because people can be irrational, unthinking, or just plain greedy.
And I bet over half of the middle class is in this boat. What ends up happening is, the strongest personality gets to say how things go, or else a sneaky relative figures out how to take a portion and run.
Love it when Dave gets fired up LOL
It's incredibly sad what money can do to a family!
It’s incredibly sad how stupid people are with their money.
And what was sad about it?
She didn't say that they were fighting about it.
Dave is just anti family.
He may have had family issues growing up.
@@jimmymcgill6778 yep. she must have called in because everything went well and there were no issues.
@@BearsBeetsBattlestarGalactica1 She did not mention any issues. They were just lots of assumptions.
My aunt colluded and persuaded my grandma to write my dad out of the will. He only found out about because he was helping his mom clean,move, and sell her house so she could move to a senior community and happened to find it. My aunt is not a good person (to say the least). What did my dad do…move out of state because of job opportunity…thus he hasn’t been able to help take care of things like his sister. Bottom line this stiff happens protect yourself
How about telling us how to start and setup a will too
LITERALLY MY FAVORITE EPISODE OF ALL TIME😂😂😂
Easier said than done to have conversations like that Dave. It's the logical and wise thing to do but a lot of people struggle with having uncomfortable conversations and avoid them. Once they deal with that fear and have the uncomfortable conversations it does make life easier down the line to avoid any potential conflict or money issues like this caller is dealing with in her family
I don't know about America but say it around £130 to get a will written, that's a lot of wonga if you need to keep redoing it.
@@CrazyTobster 130 for a 2 million property and peace between your kids? That's not even a rounding error...
@@felixfruhauf4940 Most people don't have $2 million bud. For many, a £130 bill could be a significant burden.
Please read Being Mortal and The Conversation. Both are by knowledgeable physicians who have walked paths of end of life issues with close family members and sick patients. Worth your time. Will give you incentive to get the talks started.
No rent, no food, no electric costs and using her car, her credit cards, too.
My mother left her house entirely to my brother because he wasnt working and wouldnt get a job. He somehow ended up losing it. It wasnt paid off, but the bill was so old it was only a couple $100 a month. If hed had a job before that, could have gotten mortgage insurance for even less, and had it free and clear.
Love it! Monty Python meeting!😅
My mom was concerned about being fair with her estate (she is still alive and well.) She has helped my sister financially significantly over the years. I told her that all three of us siblings have gotten help over the years, and I received financial help when I was getting my degree, and that is just as valuable as what she helped my sister for over the years. So it is to be evenly divided. She gave my sister and I equivalent executor duties, but my brother none, because he would not honor her wishes for certain things (he is a religious nut, and not in a good way)
give them money back first then take whats left and split in thirds. Find a mediator to help the three of you figure it all out
Best will reading was in Grand Torino...😃😃
I’m leaving my kids my bowling shoes 🥰.
Even though you have a will, check with all your accounts and make sure you fill out beneficiary forms. My parents had wheels and everything but Mom failed to fill out one one page form for one of her accounts. It meant that I had to hire a lawyer in florida, create an estate get an ein, do loads and loads of paperwork and it's almost a year later and we still don't have that account.
Wills not wheels
Also important to know the beneficiary designations on accounts override what is in the will.
That's not so bad. My mom passed in 2004 & we're STILL trying to get her stock shares sold & distributed!!!!
This is a lawyer problem, not a Dave problem.
😆😆 You go Dave!
Ramsey for President! 🇺🇸
I walked away from my father's inheritance (not a penny) while my half siblings fought and fought it. To this day, they hate each other. but all of them loves me. You will gain financial peace when you put Jesus first place not money.
I like Sharon! Money and no hassle 😅
Tenancy by the entirety is a form of joint ownership of property that is reserved only for married couples.
It means that each spouse owns an undivided interest in the property, and they are considered one legal entity.
one legal entity
I made a will that was through mama bear legal forms and I was wondering what the best way to secure it and who else should have a copy
We have a copy in our fire box and I think my parents may have a sealed copy in theirs, as well, as they're closest to us geographically and who our son would most likely go to in the event of my husband's and my demise. I think you need to get it notarized which you can do through an independent agent or a bank. Definitely worth the time and money for the peace of mind.
$1500 a months worth of rent does not cover the effort of elder care. Especially considering she was sickly. I agree with everything else he said though
If they wanted payment, they should have been upfront about it while she was still alive.
I like miss Sharon's idea. I just want money. Yeah. Forget that 9-5 stuff!
My mother-in-law has a net worth of over $200,000, four adult children, and a history of making minor financial mistakes. She's 77 yrs old but doesn't want to discuss end-of-life financial arrangements, because "It sounds like you just want me for my money."
This is after we've had a lifetime of ongoing relationship. We've demonstrated we don't "just want her for her money." We just don't want her to mess it up somehow and leave everyone with nothing because of some foreseeable error.
It's possible to love someone and also not want to miss out on $50,000 due to a mistake. That doesn't make us money-grubbers.
This is also after she had her own struggles with her siblings due to disagreements over her own mother's estate. So she of all people should understand.
When Dave chuckles because the woman said she's a bit volatile too! 😅
There are 5 of us. I'm in my early 60s. My mom died 30 years ago. Dad is still alive at 89. He is of the opinion his will ....his finances...are his business as he is still sound of mind. He says his will is not open for discussion as it's none of our business until he's dead. It will be a surprise in the end, and probably not a good surprise.
We used NOLO willmaker. One hour and a notary trip. Done!
Man I have been trying to get my dad to do a will for 10 years. None of the older men in my family have wills.
Bless ❤sharon
I've come to realize that the key to amassing wealth lies in making sound investments. I purchased my first home at the age of 21 for $87,000 and sold it for $197,000. My second home, acquired for $170,000, was later sold for $320,000, and my third property, purchased at $300,000, fetched $589,000, with buyers covering all closing costs and expenses. Not reaching a million before retirement feels like an unfulfilled goal.
I initially started my investment journey with the guidance of a financial advisor named *Rochelle Dungca Schreiber.* Her transparent approach granted me full control of my investments, and her fees are reasonable, considering my return on investment. Nonetheless, it's crucial to conduct thorough research before engaging with any financial advisor.
I was pleasantly surprised to find that you're familiar with her as well. I've had the privilege of working closely with Rochelle Dungca-Schreiber over the past few months, and she has not only helped me earn substantial profits but has also been an exceptional mentor and trader. Her ability to navigate various market situations is truly remarkable, and I couldn't be more satisfied with our collaboration.
I'm eternal Fave
This situation is so sad, taking care of mom and expect siblings to pay. It’s YOUR mom!